#and the ones i interact often it's almost always thru text like... realizing maybe this isnt normal
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realizing i have a serious problem about giving people updates about my life aka i literally never tell anyone anything like. not even the good stuff
#and today i was gonna say something like that to my frend and it was like a good thing#it wasnt even a bad update#but then i just said 😐 maybe not right now and like???? i do it so very rarely i think it's kinda become a Thing#like i cant get myself to do it at all. lol yes giving isolation giving nothing etc#and i dont even have normal social media that people usually use so. im in the dark and#i also leave people in the dark in return. and so it has become a habit and im just living like this 😐#and i guess it wouldn't be a terrible problem ONLY IF i met people like. lol. i never go out and do stuff with people anymore so#the cycle goes on and on and im out of the daily social life of almost everyone lol#and the ones i interact often it's almost always thru text like... realizing maybe this isnt normal#the weird thing is like i dont feel bad or i dont feel the need to share anything with anyone (i know)#i want to share stuff with people!!! not anyone i know tho!!! 🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️#the classic dilemma then. no one knows me!!! 🤪🤪 and oh. no one knows me... 😔😔#i would like to be Normal about it one day tho it's not today and it's probably not soon love and peace :<#🗒#neg#another factor of this is that me constantly repeating this in my head: i have no life i have no personality im not a person 🧍♂️
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