#and then I usually snap on them verbally w unnecessary venom in proportion to what was actually said
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Sometimes I just really don’t want to be spoken to and somebody speaks to me and I’m like
#and then I usually snap on them verbally w unnecessary venom in proportion to what was actually said#I hate when I succumb to this. the shame that follows is immediate#I know I want to be better#do better#all the time I am telling myself improve improve improve You have to#you have to Be better#sometimes I think I am being too harsh on myself and I think I should stop. then I worry I will never accomplish anything and I will get#lazy again.#the I realize negative reinforcement should be done away with entirely#in place of Positive reinforcement#but I’m like is that true? mahbe tough love is necessary sometimes Bc lessons learned w pain behind them usually sear you and internalize#maybe it’s like#a masochistic#self-torturing thought process#idk is it right to beat urself up Everytime u fuck up I feel like i have to cuz I’m like ohhh u just FUCKDD up get ready to eat crow#and I make myself eat the crow#that’s why when I’m already on my plate of crow and somebody tries to serve me up a second plate of crow I get so intensely angry like#u don’t even realize I’m already beating my own self up so bad and overthinking so much#don’t add to my pile of shit bruh#Ok I’m getting it all out I’m getting all my little angry hurt thoughts out it feels good#uploads#blog post
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