#and then be active until 6 pm. i'm already exhausted just thinking abt all this ngl
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it's incredibly hard not to despair over all of this ngl
#i've been doing really bad in the last 2ish weeks#almost as if i'm having pms symptoms kinda#but usually they go away after a few days. certainly not stick for over a week#this is like how it was before i was on t. without the bleeding ig#(physical stuff also stand bc i feel so extra tired and my whole body hurts constantly)#and all the shit going on in real life isn't helping. both on a global scale and in my personal life#i don't want to exist genuinely i can't be left with my thoughts for even a second or i start spiraling#i don't want to sleep or take a break i want to just. stop. stop thinking. stop existing. i want to die bc it feels like the only choice#but ig i gotta wake up at 7 am and drive for an hour and walk up the hill again instead#and then be active until 6 pm. i'm already exhausted just thinking abt all this ngl#i wanna die i can't do this shit anymore i should've died 13 years ago. why even bother trying to live#vent#negative //#suicide //#ask to tag#sorry. sorry
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