#and then i shall (hopefully) be checking shit off like a goddamn bingo card

[thesherrinfordfacility]

ok it's not actually as epic✨ as i thought it would be but here is my episode-title prediction but it's very rough and in note form and no doubt is all over the place and pls feel free to discuss in the replies and ill amend accordingly,,, PLUS i need to go through it again in more detail cross referencing my sideburn theory bc some things might actually belong in other episodes and yeah im exhausted from the sheer speed at which i pulled this together fucking enJOY

(note: now contains mention of the leak, proceed w caution)

1. THE ARRIVAL

main storyline summary:

OKAY SO LETS START with this article on mr g's blog - scroll to the last two paragraphs - potentially see pre-fall heaven or the immediate moments before/after the fall which when you consider the opening credits begin with crowley climbing out of the pit/aziraphale descending from heaven, AND the BEAUTIFUL (this isn't being discussed enough imo) fall sequence in the hillywood parody, im tentatively suggesting that we might have a cold open of the fall

✨✨MURIEL PERSPECTIVE ON THE FALL?????✨✨

sosososo in the trailer obvs crowley and muriel are jn heaven and muriel says "you're a demon!!! // im going to get into so much trouble!!!" so WHAT IF DURING THE FALL THEY SMUGGLED CROWLEY OUT OF HEAVEN TO AVOID THE CONFLICT???? and crowley took like the back staircase down so he didn't fall so violently and got to keep his wings and *GUNSHOT* ok so im only like maybe 5% certain it's a flashback after ive rewatched that bit of the trailer oooh maybe 26 times but sTILL imaGINE yeah don't think this anymore, send me an ask if you want to know why bc i cba to write a post explaining

and then presumably a segue? into the first few events ive listed in this post about the start of the second coming idk it might actually be a flashback in another episode hmm yeah actually that seems more likely but anyway

then - present day, gabriel arrives on earth, lost memory/human, "something terrible" in the box that he was meant to deliver to aziraphale (?) that going by that second coming (SC) post i think literally contains jesus

ok update after the gumshoe az pics: so if gabriel is connected to the pub, and by the extension the jukebox, it must be the record that arrives in the box with the address attached, and aziraphale starts looking into it from there????? idk see ep 2

crowley gets evicted, then crowley and shax interaction in the park

presumably an introduction to maggie and nina, plus the "naked man friend" clip

discovery of gabriel at the bookshop, and ensuing argument leading to crowley summoning lightning, and the boys going no contact sob

2. THE CLUE

main storyline summary:

*edit because my draft didn't save properly and ive only just noticed - believe that this ep has the job minisode

SO following the newest pic release of crowley and aziraphale and the record, which ive gone off about here, i think that the skip doesn't quite happen yet BUT aziraphale obvs has the record which i think god has sent him as a clue and then goes to find crowley to talk about it ✨A cLuE✨ but crowley tells him to fuck off

also crowley is a bartender

THEN we have a present-day time skip, gabriel being a very good assistant in the shop

again after the SC theory i think that gabriel lost the box and instead god somehow sends aziraphale the record and address as a clue

aziraphale (unsure of the genesis here) starts researching the jukebox and the everyday song, presumably buys the record from maggie

aziraphale in the bookshop, looking at the jukebox articles, crowley storms in, "im back" see below!!!

THEN second time aziraphale approaches crowley, pub drink ft crowley in jeans and a nice top™ which i think is actually his work top™, then the clip ✨a cLuE✨

crowley and shax in the bentley having a heart to heart, and i worry that she essentially tempts him into luring goob out of the shop so hell can get to him and crowley can get back his precious 😭 peaceful 😭 existence with aziraphale EDIT FOLLOWING THIS!!! I think she definitely tells him to get chummy with aziraphale again

AND NOW we have the "im back" scene

possibly the beelzebub clip from them in hell? possibly an interaction between them and shax? beelzebub manifests as a fly and plays a game of tag in the bookshop with goob, trying to make up for their failure in losing track of jesus

at some point the other angels come to the bookshop to interrogate aziraphale for if he has seen gabriel, believes he's lying, and resolve to send in their ✨top agent✨

3. I KNOW WHERE I’M GOING

main storyline summary:

✨MURIEL MY BELOVED✨

whole "cup of tea" scene, plus crowley removing plants from the bentley "why don't you go by train? you love trains"

possibly muriel feeding back to heaven with her report about aziraphale, his grumpy friend, and his assistant 💓

aziraphale off up to edinburgh in the bentley, possibly crowley has stayed behind to babysit gabriel? (i feel like the 'are you a bookseller too? / not even at gunpoint' interaction was a bit foreshadow-y)

UPDATE: WHY IS GABRIEL CONNECTED TO THE JUKEBOX MYSTERY?? WAS THE RECORD IN FACT IN THE BOX??? AND ITS SOMEHOW LINKED TO HOW GABRIEL LOST HIS MEMORY??? IM SO CONFUSED

still confused but see above SC theory

was the resurrectionist address already taped to the record when it arrived in the box? NOBODY KNOWSSS

UPDATE 2 re: the meme template prime just gave us: so what IF AZIRAPHALE goes to the pub, asks if theyve seen goob, the pub owner (who is in the meme) says "shhhhh I have some intel meet me at the graveyard at 6", aziraphale goes and they show him a pic of gabriel in the pub like removing the everyday record from the jukebox? bc gabriel removed it and that's why the jukebox is now stuck on that song??? AGHHH now I'm wondering if the pub people got a video of the graveyard fight or a pic of the box or something and that gives aziraphale the indication that the whole thing is centred around the second coming

shax possibly knows that crowley is there, and calls the bookshop? or crowley calls heaven to narc on gabriel? OR aziraphale calls him from the phone crowley possibly lent him and idk but a conversation along the lines "hey crowley so i think a fight with demons caused goob to lose his memory and lmao but i think he also lost jesus!!!

either way crowley uses aziraphale's phone specifically and is obviously looking intently at something

and lastly again i think this has the resurrectionist minisode - fitting given that they decked out a pub in edinburgh with resurrectionist signs etc so that probably triggers a flashback for az when he goes there for the jukebox mystery

4. THE HITCHHIKER

no official press photos for this one as far as i know , but possibly????

main storyline summary:

first, *SLAMS HAND ON TABLE* 🚨40s MINISODE🚨

i think however that this is where muriel is back on earth, potentially rooting around greek street trying to be as nosy as possible

and crowley now loaded in with info hot off the press (lmao aziraphale) knows that the second coming is involved and realises he needs to get into heaven to find out more info which is so james bond of him what a legend

and then WELL WHADDAYA KNOW muriel turns up and therefore im wondering if the above is from crowley's pov - muriel spots him in the shop and gets a tad excited

then - bless their soul - muriel gets coerced into helping crowley infiltrate heaven, or he follows them back to the heaven entrance they're using, and jumps in the lift with them last minute (ie the hitchhiker)

god knows why he's going to heaven in disguise but he's living his best life bless*

ALTERNATIVELY see ep1 about the muriel/crowley scene

5. THE BALL

okay i admittedly have no idea on this wtf happens in this one

do they DANCE

is aziraphale checking off a GUESTLIST for their disco ball?????? WHAT IF ITS MAGGIES BIRTHDAY OR A FUNDRAISER AND THATS WHY THERES RECORD GARLANDS ON THE SHOP IN THE OPENING SEQUENCE????

rap battle

a lil SMOOCHY SMOOCH??? (NOT the leak one, a different one)

6. EVERY DAY

✨everything goes to shit lmao✨

i can't even be bothered write out everything that happens in this episode because i think we can guess the bare essentials - crowley is on the throne in hell, demons attack the bookshop, metatron appears and declares war, aziraphale sharts himself, DEMONS destroy said bookshop and aziraphale's FUCKING HOME

i do feel like EVERY is in here because i reckon aziraphale finds out crowley was betraying him to hell, even if for a good reason, and crowley desperately tries to make aziraphale see that it was "for us, for you aziraphale!!!!", SNOG, and aziraphale tells him to get fucked bc now he can never trust him, crowley said hed never lie to him "obviously, you're a demon" from s1, and the cliffhanger is them being on their OWN own sides @azirafuck back me up here

Update 19/07: and what if aziraphale can't forgive crowley and literally tells him he can't forgive him... and fallssssss?

like I'm SORRY but i need heartbreak like THIS

IF AZIRAPHALE FALLS THO IM GOING TO KILL EVERYONE ON EARTH AND THEN MYSELF💓✨

ACTUALLY MAYBE THIS???? IM GOING INSANE NOW