#and then my thesis is due in less than a month and i need more data and she still hasn’t done the part she said she would do so i do it

[mirandasidefics]

But Home is Nowhere

Pairing(s): Lucien X Plus Size Reader, Azriel X Plus Size Reader

Part 1 Summary: Reader is pulled into Prythian by an unknown force and comes face to face with members of the Night Court. However, the welcome is less than warm.

Word Count: 3.9K

Warning(s): Minor violence, minor self-harm, mentions of body issues/past self-harm.

A/N: This is my first ACOTAR fic and first story I've even considered posting since 2013, so please be gentle. The story is fully outlined, but due to the fact that I work full time and really weird hours updates will be once a month. Use of cisfemale descriptors used. Key: (Y/N )-Your Name, (e/c)-eye color, (h/c)-hair color.

You gathered your belongings as you did everyday before heading into work. ‘Phone, wallet, keys, charger, make-up…’ the list in your head prattled on as you secured each item in the black backpack. Once satisfied that you had everything you needed you swung the leaden object over your left shoulder. Pausing before the near full-length mirror at your door you tucked a strand of (h/c) hair behind you ear. Your (e/c) orbs roamed over for anything that could be out of place. It took a considerable amount of effort not to let your gaze pause on the parts of yourself that you hated. You pulled the dark red sweater down, covering your large and sagging lower belly and too wide hips. You debated on going back to put shapewear on so your muffin top didn’t hang over your dark black skinny jeans too much, but you were already running late. You quickly slipped your dress flats on to your feet as you whispered a small affirmation to yourself. ‘Everything happens for a reason.’

You were not looking forward to today. The laundry list of to-do tasks was miles long. Hours of work meetings, followed by even more hours of research and writing for your thesis. You were always writing. You paused again to double check that you had the required USB drive that held your many months’ worth of research. A quick glance reassured it was safely tucked away on the hook in your pack, and you stiffly grasped the handle of the front door. No sooner than pulling the door open, your feet tripped over the lip of the frame, and you plummeted down through the threshold.

Bracing for a faceplant against concrete, you were surprised to find soft grass under your fingertips. The grass was a deep rich shade of green and still held the wetness of early morning-dew. Slowly lifting your head, you glanced around the spot where you fell. You immediately noticed that you were no longer at the threshold of your duplex if the wide expanse of grass was to be trusted. Slower still, you raised yourself up on your knees. The sky you looked at was now clear of the pale grey clouds you spied out of your bedroom window only minutes before. The bright yellow-white sun was high enough above to indicate that it was midday. A chilled and briny breeze floated across your shoulders and caused strands of your hair to blow away from your face. You pushed your glasses a little further up the bridge of your nose as you took in the distant buildings to your left. Not a single one of the simple brick and mortar buildings appeared to be more than 3 to 4 floors in height. Further down you could make out some shops and an open square. It reminded you more of a smaller European town than of a bustling city suburb. Yet the buzz in the air told you that there was much more than what met your eyes. You could only make out a few figures as they darted through a bustling crowd. Despite the feeling that there were a large number of inhabitants in the city beyond, there wasn’t a single sound of a motorized vehicle. Your head tilted up to examine the vast blueness above you, looking for any sign of the planes that constantly passed over your home, but the sky was also empty. You held your breath, willing for the sound of a jet engine to be heard in the distance. All was silent, except for the brush of the wind and bubbling of water. You turned toward your right an observed a large house that sat just along the river’s edge. Your eyes followed the winding path of the turquoise water as it stretched into a decent sized bay, complete with docks and what appeared to be old wooden sailing ships. You felt like you had stepped back in time.

Panic began to seep into your bones. You could clearly tell that you were no longer in your own city, but where you were…that was wholly unknown to you. Was this even real? Maybe you hit your head when you tripped and this is all just some dream. Yeah, that had to be it. You reached for the backpack that had landed at your side when a shadow flew over you. A heavy thud was heard to your right and your head whipped up to look at the dark silhouette that now towered over head. You initially thought there had been the shape of wings along the figure’s outline, but after blinking away the shards of sunlight that your hand didn’t block, you determined that it must have been your imagination.

“Well hello there,” a velvety smooth tenor reached your ears, “You’re not an associate of Ms. Quinlan’s, are you?”

                “W-What?” Your voice trembled, a strong metallic scent radiated from the man as he knelt down. Your breath caught in your throat. He was absolutely stunning. You mentally slapped yourself after feeling your jaw literally drop. You could have sworn his eyes held flecks of starlight in them. However, his humorless chuckle sent a shiver down your spine.

                “Do you know Bryce?” He surveyed you this time.

                “I don’t…I don’t know any Bryce,” You couldn’t help the rise of your flight response start to kick in, “Where am I?” A part of you didn’t dare look away, but you had to gage your possible exits out of the periphery of your vision.  The man continued to stare and evaluate you. You swallowed thickly in an attempt to clear the non-existent obstruction that was your unease and opened your mouth to ask another question. Before you could speak the man cut you off, placing his hands in his pockets.

                “If you’re not here for or because of Bryce,” Something about his darkened expression filled your bones with fear, “then, unfortunately, I’m not in a position to readily trust you. I must protect my people. I hope you understand that my actions are nothing personal.” Confusion laced your features at his words and you clutched your bag tightly against your chest.

Without warning your entire body froze as what felt like ice cold claws scratched against the surface of your skull. Fear gripped you tightly, the need to run or fight back utterly demolished as you locked eyes with the man. He truly didn’t appear to be bothered in the slightest over how terrified you were.

‘Mother above…he’s going to kill me.’ Your mind reeled and you were certain that you would have emptied your bladder had you not done so before exiting your home. You couldn’t get your voice to cooperate, to beg for mercy as the claws gripped your skull harder. You couldn’t even scream as you felt the flesh tear near your right temple. Your heart beat erratically, hoping it would give out before you could feel any of the pain that was sure to accompany your death. It took all of your mental strength to dampen the fear down and whisper the prayer you incorporated into your own practice so long ago.

“Mother hold me, let me pass through the gates into that immortal land of milk and honey. Let me fear no evil, feel no pain, and let me enter eternity.” Eyes still locked with the man you saw a glimmer of…you honestly had no clue what emotion it was that passed over his expression. But as soon as it passed the feeling of the claws were gone and air rushed back into your lungs. The man stood to his full height and continue to stare at your gasping form. A rush of nausea swept over you and you heaved. The stomach acid burned your throat more than normal after not eating anything for well over 24 hours.

You spit the remaining mucus onto the grass and you were suddenly hauled up to your feet. His grip on your forearm was so tight you could already feel the bruises forming. While the man’s features appeared calm and unbothered, his eyes simmered with caution. However, he remained silent as darkness converged on you both. Your stomach rolled and plummeted with the sensation of your body in free fall, but the man’s grip never lessened. Suddenly your feet impacted against solid stone. Your vision blurred and your other arm reached out towards anything to purchase itself to keep you up right. Your throat burned again but the stomach acid never reached your mouth. Your outstretched hand finally found a wall and you clung onto it for dear life.

The surface was cool and rough to the touch. You chanced a glance around and found yourself in a small dimly lit room. The walls and floor appeared to have been carved directly out of the stone. The dampness to the air clued you in that you were not inside a building, but some structure more akin to a cave. The room held no furniture, unless you counted the metal sconce that held the only source of light. You did a double take as the light itself was strange, appearing to be condensed to the size of a lightbulb, but it was quickly obvious that there was no material encasing its source. Was there even a- your thoughts were interrupted by the screeching of metal hinges as a single wooden door swung open.

A second man appeared in the entry way and ducked down to avoid hitting his head on the top of the frame. Once he was fully inside the room you couldn’t believe your eyes. You blinked several times yet the insanely large bat like wings never disappeared. You attempted to take in his dark appearance, but shadows seemed to swirl around him. He wore a scaly leather outfit that appeared to be some type of armor. You couldn’t tell if it was multiple pieces or a single body suit in the dim silver light, but that didn’t matter as soon as you saw the first of the seven blue stones intermingled into his outfit. Your eyes widened. The first man handed the newcomer your bag, allowing you to get a good look at his winged back. You immediately noticed there were no straps that held the wings in place. Nor were they attached to the clothing he wore, but rather connected to and protruding from the skin underneath. With this realization the room spun as their soft voices drifted over towards you, but you couldn’t make out what was said as your knees gave out and everything went dark.

When you finally awoke the room was cold, dark, and damp; which sadly reminded you that recent events weren’t just a dream. You found that you were now alone, but weren’t sure if that was a good sign. There was no telling if either of the men-no males- would come back. A part of you hoped that someone would at least give you answers, even if just to tell you that you would rot away in this cell. If that was the case, why didn’t the first male just follow through with killing you? What caused him to stop and bring you to this place you now found yourself? Unsure of what to expect you backed yourself up into a corner on the opposite side from the door. A dim light filtered through the wood panels and space between the door and ground. You could hardly call what you sat upon a floor given all the dirt and rocks. Unfortunately, it did little to comfort you while the room was largely in shadow. Despite your best efforts and desire to make yourself as small as possible, your round and plump frame wouldn’t allow you to curl your knees towards your chest. So, you opted instead to sit with your legs stretched out in front of you, ankles crossed. A false picture of being unperturbed with your current circumstances. The longer you sat there in the silence, the more your anxiety seeped into your muscles. You shook your foot trying to expel the nervous energy. Your ears strained for any semblance for sounds of life beyond the door. Surely there had to be other prisoners or guards. Unless you really were just left for dead. You fought back the tears that welled up in your eyes.

                “This is fucked,” You mumbled, “I’m fucked. What the hell is happening?” You could feel the panic rise up your throat. Your heartbeat increased and your breath became shallow. You ran your fingers through your hair, pulling at the roots. Tiny pin pricks of pain blossomed as the blonde strands became taut. You felt pain, or rather discomfort. You’ve felt that in your extremely vivid dreams before, but it gave you an idea. Moving on to your hands and knees you began to feel around for any rocks or other items you could use. If you could find something and make it sharp enough, maybe you could wake yourself. The door looked the same, but maybe it was different. Maybe you were in a different REM cycle, meaning a different dream that just piggy backed off the first. After all, there was no way to determine if the male that took you was going to come back. ‘This has to be a nightmare.’

“Please, please let there be something,” You crawled through the darkness, eyes straining to make out any shapes. Your hands finally found a smooth stone about the size of your palm. In the darkness you couldn’t tell if it was granite or something else, so you went ahead and bashed the side against the stone of your cell wall. The side of the object splintered off as if the stone was made of glass.

“Obsidian…” You smiled to yourself. The obsidian shard would be sharp enough to draw blood wherever you managed to drag it along your skin.

“Where to cut, where to cut…” You felt along your body, the scars on your covered legs sang with expectation. Were you willing to risk taking off your pants in this place though? Were you willing to take off any of your clothing? Finally deciding against the removal of your clothes you crawled over to the door and lowered your hands to the soft light that filtered through. Pressing the shard against the palm of your left hand you hoped that there would be no feeling as you dragged it against the skin. Oh, how wrong you were.

“Fuck!” A searing pain erupted over your hand as the makeshift blade tore at the skin. You sucked in a breath through your teeth as blood pooled at the seams of the cut. The obsidian hit the ground.

“Why did you do that?” A deep tenor filled the space near the back of your cell and you screamed. The sconce on the wall lit up. Your head whipped around to the opposite corner from where you had been sitting. Your eyes took in the retreating shadows as they revealed the male that you really didn’t want to see. The cobalt stones again caught your eye as your gazed wondered over his form. The wings were still there. You cradled your bleeding hand and you backed away from the known male that stared you down. You figured that you were about to pass out again as the shadows behind him seemed to writhe and undulate around his frame.

“Don’t come any closer,” You tried to keep your voice steady, but you wanted to kick yourself for how pathetic you sounded. The male rolled his eyes and walked towards you before crouching down. His wings stretched out and angled themselves so as to not drag along the stone beneath. The sight of their movement took your breath away. They were real. All of this was real. He grabbed your hand and began to exam it. Your attempts to pull it back failed as his grip was tight. Clicking his tongue against his teeth he locked eyes with you, hazel orbs boring into your own. Despite yourself you noted just how attractive he was as he continued to scrutinize you. He continued to look at you expectantly and you realized that he must have asked you a second question. He sighed and gave you back your hand.

“I’ll be right back,” He stood and left. As soon as the door shut you scrambled to your feet and retreated back to your corner. Had he been in the room with you the entire time? If so, why was the light off? And…you felt pain in your hand. You glanced down at the jagged cut, the blood had yet to start to congeal and clot, but it was superficial at best. Honestly nothing to worry about. You’ve done worse to yourself before. But…you felt pain. Real pain, not just a semblance of a memory of pain as you’ve dreamt of before. This was no dream. Everything pointed to this being a very real place. And you were in very real trouble. Especially if you ended up in-

A soft knock on the door brought you out of your thoughts. Whomever was there didn’t wait for you to respond as they entered. A man-no again male- with long red hair and almost equally red-brown eyes walked into the room. He wore a simple off-white billowy linen shirt that appeared as if it was from the Renaissance or possibly the Victorian era. Honestly, you were really sure. The history of the fashion industry wasn’t your area of expertise.  He also wore a simple pair of dark brown pants. He was definitely different compared to your captor and the winged male. He appeared…warmer. Maybe it was the soft smile that graced his lips. However, his eyes-which you now saw that the left had a long scar that ran down towards his jaw- held a certain sense of sadness to them. Pity.

“Hello,” He held out his hand towards you as he cautiously approached, “Can I take a look at your hand?” He seemed friendly enough, but you still pulled your hand closer toward your chest. You shook your head and backed away, not trusting your voice. The red head looked back at the door, where you saw the winged male patiently waiting.

“She does understand our language correct?” He turned back towards you after receiving an affirming nod from his companion. He took a tentative step closer. You felt like you were being treated like a wild animal.

“Stop!” You hissed, “I’m perfectly fine. You can leave.” The male just stood, his gaze trailing to the blood that dripped down your forearm.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” He stated, “I need to heal your hand. Will you let me do that?” You paused.

“What do you care if it heals?” You squeezed your hand into a protective fist causing blood to gush out faster, “Isn’t it easier to just let me be?”

“Honestly I don’t care,” His demeanor changed like the flick of a switch, “If you don’t want help then that is your choice. My question then is why cut yourself in the first place?” You held his stare. You didn’t want to answer, knowing that it wouldn’t make any sense to the stranger.

“This is going no where Lucien,” the winged male finally re-entered the room, “Just heal her hand so I can begin my questioning.” Lucien scoffed, but did as requested. Grabbing your wrist, he tugged you away from the corner you backed yourself into. You held your breath as he pried your fingers open so he could get a look at the cut. You honestly tried to pull your hand free, but he was clearly much stronger than you. Almost unnaturally so. You were left with nothing to do but to watch. You heard a faint whirring sound, before he hovered his free hand over the injury. A warmth enveloped your open palm and was accompanied by a slight metallic scent to the air. Within seconds your skin had stitched itself back together. All that remained was the trail of drying blood. You stared at the healed skin, mind racing with jumbled thoughts. It didn’t make sense. Nothing in the world could do that. It was like…magic. Your breath caught in your throat. Just where the hell were you. You flicked your gaze back to Lucien standing before you, only this time you noted the golden mechanical eye and the arch of his ears. The pointed arch of his ears. The jumbled thoughts became cloudy and you felt darkness start to descend.

“There,” Lucien let go of her hand, which was something that he would immediately regret. It took less than 30 seconds for her wide (e/c) eyes to flutter shut. He watched as her knees gave out as she crashed towards the ground. His reflexes were fast enough to allow him to catch her before her head hit the hard stone. Azriel was immediately crouching next to him.

“That’s the second time she’s fainted,” He whispered, cursing under his breath. He removed her outer sweater and placed it under her head before standing up to speak to the male beside him. 

“How long has she been down here?” Lucien questioned also rising to his feet. This didn’t sit well with him. The woman was clearly frightened, and there was no absolutely no trace of any lingering magic emanating from her. So why was she being kept beneath the throne room in the Hewn City?

“A few hours,” Azriel explained, “Rhys found her this morning. According to him, she literally just appeared. Much in the same way Bryce did. Fell flat on her face outside their home on the Sidra’s edge.” Her face was pale, honestly, too pale for Lucien’s liking. He knelt down beside her, straightening out her legs so they weren’t tucked under at an odd angle.

“Does Feyre know?” The Shadowsinger remained quiet. Lucien looked up at the male. Azriel couldn’t meet his eyes. That wasn’t a good sign. There was no way that Feyre would be comfortable with having a defenseless and harmless human female locked away. It was unusual for Rhysand to keep things from his mate, not without there being a definitive threat.

“This human has no magic. Absolutely none. She’s completely powerless,” He spat out, “There are no traces of any spells surrounding her either. Whatever brought her here, she had no control over. Its likely she had no knowledge of what was happening either.”

“That’s what I need to find out,” Azriel stated simply. If he was irritated with Lucien’s outburst he didn’t let on. “So now that she’s healed and you’ve completed your assessment, you can leave.” This really didn’t sit well with him. Bryce had been brought right into their family home when she arrived. So, what was it about this human that set the High Lord on such edge that she’d been banished from what would probably be the safest place for a human in Prythian? Lucien really didn’t like what was happening, but knew better than to argue with the Spymaster. If anyone did get answers out of the woman it was going to be him. However, he wouldn’t let this injustice go to the way side. So, without so much as a word to the Shadowsinger, Lucien left the cell. He was determined to have a very stern word with the High Lord.

Part 2

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

*extremely deep sigh*

I am begging, can we stop making fun of Victor for being a "college dropout" as if it was a personal failure on his part? Because considering the historical and plot context that is literally not what happened.

The post might be less well-structured than previously intended but Tumblr managed to erase the whole thing before I could post it and I'm too tired to spend more than a couple minutes on rewriting the whole thing, anyway

First of all, Victor has not spent two months, four months or a semester at Ingolstadt before starting to work on the Creature, he has been there for two years studying primarily chemistry. In those two years he, quote:

"...improved so rapidly that at the end of two years I made some discoveries in the improvement of some chemical instruments, which procured me great esteem and admiration at the university. When I had arrived at this point and had become as well acquainted with the theory and practice of natural philosophy as depended on the lessons of any of the professors at Ingolstadt, my residence there being no longer conducive to my improvements, I thought of returning to my friends and my native town, when an incident happened that protracted my stay."

In two years he managed to learn every single thing the university had to offer and even improved on their methods. Had he wanted, he could have gotten a doctorate in two years which is less than anyone with a bachelor's degree could ever hope for. And he would have learned more but the university did not have the capacity to teach more.

Mind you, back then there was no pressure to actually get a degree as there is today. Very few students actually got a degree, most of them went to university simply to learn stuff and to gain experience, which is something I really wish was still a thing today because I would love to go to uni just to learn stuff and then leave when I'm no longer interested, without it being treated as a failure and a waste of time but alas, gotta have a degree and a career, that's all universities are good for I guess.

After those two years he switched to biology (universities back then weren't strictly split into majors and you could go to whichever lectures you wanted anytime) and in about half a year he learned all of the information he needed to begin working on Creech. In half a year he learned enough to build an entire fucking person from scratch. Another half a year he was busy gathering materials and then spent the following year actually working on the project. This entire time his teachers were aware of this, so it was not like he "dropped out", they knew he is doing his own project.

After the November night it took about half a year for him to recover from his stress- and exhaustion-induced illness, and after that he spent roughly a year and half studying languages and literature with Henry. Only after this he did leave university and that's only because of the literal death of his baby brother, which is something most people would at the very least take a gap year for. Yes he never came back to uni but can you really blame him considering everything that happened since then?

To summarize, in six years he has mastered two majors and was well on his path to master a third one and was forced to leave only due to tragic events in his family. This was in an era where a degree was in no way something expected or all that frequent to get.

So can we please stop shaming Victor Frankenstein for being a "loser college dropout", I am begging you, I'm tired

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk, gonna go work on my own thesis now

Bonus detail I found while doing research for this post:

"Professor Krempe often asked me, with a sly smile, how Cornelius Agrippa went on, whilst M. Waldman expressed the most heartfelt exultation in my progress."

Krempe called Victor Cornelius Agrippa as a nickname

[reallyghostlypost]

Stardew Valley Horror AU - Other Characters

Originally I wanted to introduce all the characters first and then write about their relation with Thad and Elliot in another post. But most characters here appear in the story because they either work with Thad or live in his territory, so I had to write this post while focusing on Thad and his family more than I planned.

Since I decided to remove Ginger Island due to being too aggressively cheerful and bright for my setting, I moved most of it's inhabitants deeper in the forest, where they are still isolated enough from the townspeople.

The Forest/Farm:

Pretty much the same thing since Thad's family owns most of the wilderness around Pelican Town. Due to the huge amount of land, Thad is aware that he can't control what happens in his domain so he lets anyone live/travel/gather resources here at will. He only tries to keep the areas around the main road and the town safe, and anyone who choses to go any deeper in the woods is on their own.

Still, there are parts of the territory that function like the in-game farm because the domain is gigantic and expensive to maintain. Although Thad will rely more on seasonal workers than do everything himself. Also, the farmhouse is a giant creepy manor now (and I'm still disappointed I couldn't actually find a mod that does this).

Grandpa: The farm is one of the most important territories owned by Thad's family due to how remote it is and the amount of magic flowing through it. Grandpa moved here after he retired as the family head, letting his son take his place. Thad's father had to give his attention to other parts of the family business and the manor remained empty for decades. Thad moved in a few years before Elliott's arrival to train his magical talents and prepare to take his father's place as the head of the family when he'll retire.

Grandpa is one of the many dead members of family buried on this property and one of the many ghosts haunting it. Elliott will probably see him in the manor (and the other ghosts) but won't know who he is. Might occasionally talk with Thad (him and other ghosts, especially other family heads, have a lot of opinions on what's going on and will hound Thad about them).

The Junimos: Live all over the forest and they are one of the reason Thad's family allowed the woods to grow so wild and dark. Maybe they act like invisible butlers? Elliott will notice that stuff moves around but he'll never encounter anyone?

Peaches: Lives with the other junimos but visits Apples often.

Apples: Weird junimo that was left in Thad's custody by the others for not knowing how to junimo properly. Tries to do good but fails often. The single main reason why every new territory or building that gets added to the domain becomes overgrown within months (Thad finds it hilarious, Andy and Sophia less so).

Rasmodius: Met Thad years ago when the later was taking his wizard exams. Thad was researching forest magic to learn how to deal with the vast expanses of woods and wilderness his family owned and his thesis caught Magnus's attention. After meeting a few times Thad agreed for Magnus to settle somewhere in Cindersap Forest. But Magnus is also tasked by the Ministry to keep an eye on what happens on the domain, and Thad is aware of that. They don't talk about it. They interact rarely and mainly stick to their own business, but occasionally one will visit the other with questions or for help with magical research. Will work together if there's some emergency happening. He's a point of contact between Thad and the Ministry.

Morgan: Just moved in with Magnus. Sometimes comes to the farm for a few days when Magnus needs to go somewhere or simply needs a break. Probably messes with Elliott a lot since he doesn't believe in magic.

Krobus: Doesn't live in the sewers any longer, since there's no reason to hide. Plenty of monsters roam the forests undisturbed already. Lives somewhere in the forest and visits Magnus and Thad regularly, alongside other residents. Krobus deserves friends >:( Will probably traumatize Elliott multiple times since he'll be a good way for me to make Elliott encounter a monster without putting him in danger. Gets along better with his kind, even if he's still considered kind of weird. Still a merchant, he gathers items from multiple sources and brings them to the people he visits to sell. He's a way for Thad to contact other shadow people.

The Dwarf: Still lives in the mines, but uses the abandoned mineshafts and subterranean tunnels to travel easily across the domain. Encounters Krobus more often but less likely to try and fight him since he's severely outnumbered. Sometimes has to take refuge from the shadow people in the buildings scattered across 'the farm'. Another potential Elliott traumatizer. Like Krobus he's still a merchant. Often hired by Thad for stealthy missions in town (deliver/steal objects, spy on people, check out some area etc).

Suki: Like in vanilla she's a travelling merchant that sells goods and contraband.

Birdie: Witch that lives in a small hut hidden in the woods and uses magic to protect herself. Elliott will stumble upon her while lost and she'll help him get back to the manor while offering him cryptic advice.

The Bear: Still friends with Thad (even if he lets other hunt in the woods and probably hunts himself)? But then again, so does the bear 🤔

The fairies/forest spirits: The other reason why everything is overgrown.

The Desert:

Mr. Qi: Family friend and business partner. Is involved in all sorts of shady stuff. Maybe less secretive and more likely to interact with other mages?

Sandy: Works for Qi now, since Thad will be probably too busy to randomly go to the desert now so I need a reason for her to appear. Acts as a messenger between Qi and Thad, or any interesting guest visiting Pelican Town. Visits Emily more often and helps her with items she needs for her magical business.

The Bouncer/Welwick: Probably won't appear directly, only mentioned.

The 'City':

Medieval style town? Won't appear and would barely be mentioned to keep the isolating feeling. For this same reason, Joja doesn't exists. Mainly a category for people 'representing' the political workings of Ferngill Republic in the game.

The Governor: Won't appear since Pelican Town is too separated from the more inhabited parts of Ferngill and he doesn't care enough to visit. Probably still stresses Lewis out.

Morris: Maybe a business partner for Thad's family that visits occasionally and lives at the Saloon in the meantime? Or maybe works for Thad? 🤔This way I could have Claire and Martin appear more often and while the forests are abandoned and overgrown the main part of the farm is still fully functional. Morris could act as an accountant or a manager of sorts? Keeps track of the selling data, meets other business partners, makes sure essential things are fully stocked, hires seasonal workers etc? Anyway, the fact that he doesn't live in the manor despite working closely with Thad will be a hint for Elliott that something is wrong.

Claire and Martin: Still work for Morris. Still overworked. Maybe they work in the manor? They would be some friendly faces for Elliott to meet occasionally.

Others:

Scarlett: Since it takes longer to reach Pelican Town from Grampleton she spends more time with Sophia when she visits. Or maybe lives with Sophia and learns wine-making from her?

Professor Snail: Works with Gunther but focuses more on fieldwork. Travels often in search for artifacts.

The Witch/Henchman: Probably won't appear since there are enough dangers for Elliott already. Might be mentioned by the villagers (although they are more likely to blame Thad for anything she does).

The other adventurers: Will occasionally visit Magnus or the Guild. Might rarely work with Thad? Depending on how much I can fit them in Lance might still befriend Krobus.

Edit: Just realized I could have Lance work with Marlon at the guild. Marlon will probably need the extra pair of hands. Maybe I could have Lance as a newcomer too? And occasionally write something from his perspective to contrast the way Elliott see things? Hmmm....

---

SVE monster lore hasn't changed much here, they are all still considered dangerous and should be killed on sight by the adventuring/mage community. Thad's family mainly uses dark magic so they work alongside the smarter monsters, which is why Thad is on friendly terms with the shadow people. Magnus also started to interact with them after moving in Cindersap but wasn't able to convince the rest of the community that shadow people aren't just mindless monsters.

While monsters are much more common in the AU, adventurers are a growing threat for them, so territories owned by Thad's family are considered a safe home by lots of supernatural creatures, which is why most characters in this post moved there.

Not sure what to do with magic. On one hand, the whole point is that Elliott doesn't believe in magic and monsters, but on the other hand that's difficult with SVE's lore. I mean, why would the Ministry hide? I could make the Ministry a newly formed organization that doesn't have any political power yet so no reason to become known by the normal people. It could explain why there are so many monsters around and why Thad's family can just ignore their decisions.

[inkofamethyst]

April 16, 2023

I can be described as a bit of a control freak.  In the way that I like to have control over every bit of my life as humanly possible.  I feel most stressed when I feel that I lack considerable amounts of control.  I wonder what my personal intersection of control and insecurity is?  Those two must derive from some specific fears, some specific formative moments.

Jennifer Morrison’s character in House is so different from Emma Swan in Once Upon A Time.  Emma Swan had that toughness, that red leather jacket.  Dr Carmody comes off as so much more bright-eyed (and she wears vests lol).  Actors man.  The thing is though, I straight-up dislike boss-subordinate romance thing in most cases, this one being no exception.  Idk, it’s just weird to me.

Also as entertaining as it is to watch a doctor with no bedside manner who ends up being correct about everything and saving the day in the end, I would hate to have him as a doctor or mentor tbh.  I am way too sensitive to go through that kind of nonsense.  But it is interesting--something I learned in a writing workshop is that people will follow a character (I’d even stretch to say this applies to celebrities who almost seem like characters with the way “we” fictionalize them) who is good at what they do even if they are unlikeable.  Don’t remember the reason though.

I got my grade back for stats and did significantly better than the first midterm which is wild because the content was a lot more difficult and I studied significantly less :/  I’m (obviously) not upset about the grade, I am learning things (and enjoying it a lot!  I’m actually looking forward to graduate level stats), I just think it’s funny.  Continues to validate my bad habits, though.

I once again feel compelled to complain about my status as an emotional booty call with my saxophone-... friend.  Literally the relationships/friendships that I dislike the most have to be the ones where the other person only calls/texts me when they’re sad or upset.  It’s not even that I don’t want to be there when my friends feel down.  It’s not even that I expect “50-50″ in a friendship at all times.  I fully recognize that friends will need more support through difficult times and that a person’s life has high and low points for varying lengths of time.  But friends are there for each other.  If someone doesn’t reciprocate an interest in my life, I check out.  I lose interest when they only reach out to me to complain about their own lives and almost never when they just want to hang out, no story attached.  And I feel bad for passively accepting the role of an emotional booty call wen I have minimized my investment in the person, but I also don’t put any effort to continue the relationship, so that person fully has an out if they ever decide that me not ever texting them first isn’t something they can put up with in a friend.  But until then, I open my ears, reassure them that their feelings are valid, smiling the whole way through, then come here to huff and haw.  

Anyway.  I’ve gotta get back to “writing” (more like formatting (and finishing!!)) what is essentially an undergraduate thesis but due to the circumstances of my research it cannot be officially deemed to be such a thing.  Good thing is, it’s a relatively simple project.  Another good thing, after the two presentations I’ve got coming up for it in a week and a half, I should be completely done with it.  Thankful for that.  Lowkey wish I didn’t have to travel again this week.  I feel extremely thankful for the opportunity, but I’m also incredibly exhausted.  Much more than I thought I’d be toward the end of my “easy” last semester.

Today I’m thankful... that there’s only a month left.  Less than a month, really.

Goal of being in bed by 2 am.

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

For the last time this year, here are some writing goals!

1. Write between 5 and 10k. I hit 5k in a super busy month, I hope I can add more words this month.

2. Write consistently while on break. I've been incredibly busy and it's taking away much of my muse when I do have time. Once I'm on Christmas break I want to break out of this habit and end up spending time on writing as many days as I can.

3. Get my Big Bang to 20k. I didn't get around to it in November, but I did reread the entire fic. Hopefully writing my summary for the artists will get me excited about continuing this story.

4. Plan out the Zouisfest fic. It's going to be angsty, which is my favorite, so I'm excited for this fic.

5. Record my final episode of the year for the Podfic-Pals. I know which fic to record, I just need to do it once my voice doesn't switch octaves every sentence due to my sore throat.

6. Finish up all my secret santa stuff. This isn't technically (all) writing, but it's writing related, and it's something I'm slowly chipping away at.

7. Try and respond to comments by dividing it up. I have a ton of comments which paralyzes me when I even think about replying, but if I just do a handful every day, it's not that daunting.

8. Do a "2022 in fic" review of everything I've posted and reflect on my writing goals that I posted at the start of 2022. I like doing these to remind myself of how far I've come and how much I've accomplished, especially when I feel like I've been less than productive in fandom these past months. It's not all about output, I'm aware, but it'll still be a great reminder.

9. Rest. December, now that Covid is impacting the country less, means choir performances and lots of practice. It also this year means helping my boss with her thesis, helping my other boss with reports, and getting presents sorted. Inbetween that I have doctor's appointments and social plans. As much as part of me wants to do it all, I want to listen to my body and not overwhelm myself (I say, as I make a list of all that I want to do this month).

[huisnan]

Day 0003 of becoming a doctor.

What will I do today to become a doctor? I plan this day to finish all my tasks for my internship so that I can start focusing on other things, like my thesis which should be my priority more than anything else.

1. Finish a comprehensive psychological report. 2. Submit all of my pending intake session notes. 3. Start my thesis revision.

| As I am finishing my intake sessions notes, I felt anxious when I remembered that it is more than I month that I haven't touched my thesis for revision. Maybe, I can focus on that later in the evening, to keep it off of my mind.|

| I feel frustrated and disappointed with the people around because it seems like they can't see that I am busy and doing something for myself and my work. But they just keep adding up works to me that should be done by them. This is the same frustrations I have yesterday, which derailed me for what I plan to do. At least, I am aware now that this could potentially keep me off track. At least, I'll try not to prevent that from happening. |

| I was able to take a nap for more than an hour, but I can't find myself to finish the tasks that I have for today. |

| One thing that works for me is constantly having breaks. I am now doing my assignments. I do start with one thing, then when I finish something, like a paragraph or a thought, then I reward myself by doing what I want to do. Like, watching a series. It's just that, I need to ensure that my breaks are not longer than the actual work that I have done. So I have a timer that measures how long I have work, and depending on that, I will spend half of it to having a break. Even less. I think, that is one thing that works for me. |

| I was able to finish the comprehensive psychological report now. I feel satisfied but I am really stressed with my environment right now. I feel the irritation of the people around me. Which is now affecting how I am concentrating. Alcoholism is really destroying a relationship. And a family that is not understanding is contributing to it. Unwillingness of the family members to understand and support the alcoholic might be a great factor. But most especially, the behavior of alcoholics will always be coming from them. They should choose not to, but they couldn't. Maybe because again, they lack the emotional support. Regardless, I am hoping to continue on my work by starting to revise my thesis. At least, open it.| | For tonight, or for the time being. As of 9 PM. I decided to have a break. I think I deserve it.|

| Fernan, this is for you. If you ever felt down again. Wag mong kakalimutan, si mama, si tatay at si papa. |

What did I do today to become a doctor? I think that is I was able to finish some of my major requirements for my internship which was already long due. I find something that keeps me on a flow, even for a short period of time. Which could be a good start. Little by little, I am going to chip away that barrier towards becoming a doctor.

[christianlanden]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[lindaboggers]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[georgeschuylerfinance]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[saltygardenerlove]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[bertrhert]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[craigmyersfinance]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[dreamilykawaiibasement]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[brianway23]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[movieblogreview]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.

[yourfinancestu]

Bearbull Portfolio: A new buy just for the Isa window

Last week, this column played host to a duel between two investment heavyweights. In the red corner, Jeremy Grantham’s GMO, which in atypical fashion had just stated its “excitement” at the opportunity set across equities, especially in the boxes marked value, small-cap, and non-US. To the oft-bearish asset manager, today’s conditions present the “best relative asset allocation” options since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Fundamentals? Back with a bang.

In the blue shorts, we had Jonathan Ruffer, pondering the end of the equity era and a sustained period of painful de-leveraging, corporate fire-fighting and disenchanting returns ahead. Ruffer’s long-held investing maxim – to not lose money, rather than maximise returns – echoed loudly. Those fundamentals? A second-order priority to a deteriorating macroeconomic backdrop.

With 5 April and the window on my use-it-or-lose-it individual savings account (Isa) allowance fast approaching, I was suddenly foggy with indecision. The goal of the Bearbull Income Portfolio, as I recall, has always been to use equities to simultaneously grow capital and draw on (an ideally also growing) stream of dividends as a modest prop to day-to-day expenditures. On one reading, this might be a bona fide moment to double down. On another, is a much grander rethink due?

The portfolio’s recent run has been fair. In the past two-and-a-bit months, accumulated dividends and capital growth has pushed up its total value by a handy 3.5 per cent. A few one-time deadweights (GSK (GSK), Anglo American (AAL), Johnson Matthey (JMAT)) are looking sprightlier, while the funds-led engine I built at the end of 2023 has been doing the job set for it.

Then again, given the likelihood of a trundling performance from the UK economy, we might need to temper any GMO-inspired hopes for domestic equities. In truth, however, what keeps me up at night as much if not more than the portfolio’s holdings are the prospective returns on fixed income. My internal debate is less to do with the dominant stocks-versus-bond narrative about relative value – given that this usually compares a pricey US equity market and high-yielding Treasuries – but a more humdrum British fretting around the various opportunities in gilts.

It is the thought of that sweet spot of modest income and capital growth (not winning exactly, but decidedly not losing money) that is so hard to ignore. More power to Ruffer.

Especially tempting are those five-year gilt issues, sold when interest rates were improbably low in 2020 and 2021, and still trading at a discount to par. Though their coupons are slight, this merely creates a cash flow timing issue, which is manageable; hold to maturity, and the eventual climb to redemption prices should offer a real return almost free of risk and entirely free of capital gains tax. I could be done with Isa fretting, and company monitoring, all in one go.

If I’m honest, becoming an amateur bond watcher would probably be my preference to investing with Ruffer. That’s not because I think I’d do a better job (though their fees would give me a head start). Rather – judging both by his comments and the rather flat performance of the Ruffer Total Return fund since a new market paradigm started to emerge three years ago – it’s not wholly clear whether the end-of-the-equities-era thesis makes obvious winners out of other asset classes. If inflation proves sticky, those real gilt returns might prove rather unreal.

So, I’m going to leave Ruffer’s warning semi-unheeded. Or rather, I’m going to take the middle way between his sticky inflation call and GMO’s rosy base-case return to lower interest rates.