#and then the other part of me is like greek orthodox icon aesthetic

[smudgedeyeshadow]

i’m always torn between choosing between whether i want to express my hispanic, lithuanian, or greek side because each of those have a very different but beautiful aesthetic and place in my heart

[jgoodlifeminorproject2017]

Thoughts on progression

In light of the recent realisation about going in the wrong direction, I intend to gather my thoughts, laying out the ideas I would like to focus on in more detail and my next experiments and steps.

-Editing: I want to put more emphasis into the editing as a way to communicate my experience at the monastery as well as to execute my search for ways to represent the invisible/ spiritual dimension. E.g: Overt repetition: as if ruminating on something, an experience becoming a memory becoming a thought. Freezing movement: as if controlling time, disrupting flow, contemplating. Black screen with momentary flashes of footage: not everything is revealed, the image cannot be grasped, the ethereal quality of images. (reflecting my experiences with both film and digital footage in this project now). Somehow depict uncertainty, the unknown- cut scenes off abruptly? Searching.

-Dreams: To communicate my experiences more I am thinking about introducing a more psychological component- referencing dreams I had there and since as well as moments from dreams a nun recalled to me. (putting the crucifix on my neck, the hand stretching from the cloak, the emerald. Thinking about the thresholds of awake/ asleep states. A temporal disorientation. Look at surrealism.

-My experience: Lack of coherence in the piece to refer to my confusing and surreal experience there. Thinking about having greek speaking with no subtitle translations.

-Senses: More of a focus on the sensory dimension of Orthodox Christian ritual. Explore the privileging of vision (and hearing) in modern western society. Try to allude to synaesthetic perceptions to reference other senses without including them literally. E.g. exploring the physicality of sound (Mikhail- separating sound from its cause- reduced listening). Deprive senses to open up new dimensions of aesthetic experience: black screens.

-Vision/ visibility: microscopic and macroscopic view to have all perspectives on life (quay brothers/ Leonora Carrington). (All visual perspectives but still so ignorant to what is being searched for). Extreme close up and infinity.

-Sound: Really exploring silence, dislocated sound and image- creating new meanings with synchresis (geology?). Inside/ Outside- acoustic reactions to being enclosed or outside. voice?*** isolating one sound in a scene to make it feel dream like, eery. Greek voice over at parts?

-Geology: More references to geology of the area- intertwining this with references to creation or the body. Flicking between the two. Sound?

-Iconography: More emphasis on this critical aspect of orthodoxy. They are gateways into heaven- therefore metaphorically at the threshold of spiritual/ physical dimensions. Refer back to icons throughout film.

-Hades: Explore the concept of Hades in orthodoxy. Descent to Hades refers to death and the transition to disembodied existence. 

-Searching for the spiritual in the material: internal/ external experience, physiology of spiritual experience, physical places with a holy presence, boundary of spiritual/physical world.

-Photographic image: Andre Bazin- ontology/ God, film relationship between darkness and lightness and this relationship to genesis. The photographic image and its relationship to reality- film questioning itself.

-Structural film- Been thinking about introducing structural elements to reflect the cyclical nature of the rituals as well as the cyclical nature of day and night/ light and dark as born in Genesis. A way to expose elements of the filmic process within the piece. Loop printing, flicker effect, re-photography.

-Presentation- I want to avoid executing the film as at all cinematic. I’ve been imagining it presented as a rather small projection where people gather round in the dark. The colours would be intensified. It would have the nature of peering in on another life.

-LAST ROLL OF SUPER 8 FILM- will this be used and how?

-Visions- read revelations.

-Female community- how is this relevant in the content, questions and filmmaking? the relationship between me, a female filmmaker and human and them?