#and they have a never-ending 80s sitcom opening like Too Many Cooks HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[inspector-montoya-fox]

i've always found it to be such a bland choice for the gang to recruit the Panda King, although as i grew up i realised it made for some more mature storytelling because Sly has to co-exist with someone who killed his father and Panda King, as someone who isn't the most colourful character, contrasts nicely with the rest of the cast. but today i want to indulge in that infatuation i had of having the gang work with their past enemies, and discuss what would happen if Bentley decided to recruit any villain other than the Panda King

i remember how much i wanted them to recruit Mz Ruby, because i used to be obsessed with her as a child. and honestly i think it's within the realm of possibility. i mean, apart from Muggshot (who got more development in Sly 3) and Clockwerk, i think if they were ok with Panda King joining why wouldn't they be with the rest of the Fiendish Five? also, sidenote: i'm kinda bummed we never got to see Panda King interact with Muggshot like two ex-team members but one's still rotten and the other's working with the heroes? give us the banter give us the drama honey come on where is it

i feel like if Mz Ruby joined she'd get along most with Murray, the Guru and Dimitri, but she'd absolutely loathe Sly, Bentley and Penelope. Murray would show her some long overdue tlc and make her feel like she belongs (which would tug at her heartstrings because that's what turned her to a life of crime); she'd exchange notes with the Guru on mind-control and stuff; and i think she'd have a massive crush on Dimitri honestly, two reptiles and all. i also think that Sly wouldn't be so vehemently pressed about the whole thing and i'm not sure why. maybe it's because we see Panda King outright bury a whole-ass village in snow in A Perilous Ascent, whereas, to our knowledge, Mz Ruby only robbed banks with her voodoo. i can't see her getting close with the gang or sharing any sweet moments but i think she'd be a valuable member, albeit very similar to the Guru. she could definitely fill in for Panda King in Kaine Island but instead of fireworks she'd shoot some ◻︎◎△, she'd help Guru with controlling Crusher, and she'd give some valuable insight on the hopping vampires although without Panda King in the picture A Cold Alliance would probably never happen.

moving on to Sly 2, the only available options are Rajan, Contessa and Jean Bison. due to the segment in the credits where they're shown moving on with their lives as well as the fact that they didn't murder ConnEr, i feel like these three are even more realistic candidates than Panda King. out of the three, Rajan would definitely be the most beneficial asset because he could summon lightning like duh ??? (although unsure as to whether he could still do that without the Clockwerk heart) but i think he'd reject the offer after how hard the gang fucked him over like they really destroyed the guy. personally, Jean Bison as a member would be as bland as Panda King, so that leaves us with the Contessa. yay, another female member but oh my god would she be a nightmare to work with. she'd undoubtedly betray the gang, probably hang out with them for like one or two adventures, try to sabotage the missions, and then secretly contact Dr Mauricio and tell him everything, leading the gang to Kaine Island just to snatch Sly's cane and then get half of the contents of the vault (or betray Dr Mauricio too after delivering the cane). she'd hate everyone on the team but would tolerate Bentley and Penelope. i'm unsure as to how she'd behave around Dimitri though.

anyway i'm in a very feisty mood because i've just had Toblerone ice cream so let's discuss other, more far-fetched possibilities. what if, after getting fired from Interpol, Winthorp contacted the gang to join? he'd be such a disaster like combine Bentley's cowardice from the beginning of Sly 2 and Murray's uselessness from Sly 1 and he'd match that lmao. he'd also cream his pants every time they had a run-in with Carmelita. 0 redeeming qualities as a gang member but i kinda want him to be the underdog. maybe like a romcom montage of Dimitri teaching Winthorp how to "get the girl"? hmmm... what about the gang recruiting Don Octavio after literally just sending him to jail a few months prior? 'if we wanted to get inside the Cooper Vault, we needed a musician - we'd have to break Don Octavio out of prison' and the episode would be like Jailbreak: the Sequel and its climax would be a Jailhouse Rock operation where Sly and Murray organise a prison riot as a diversion and the Don narrates it musically, occasionally breaking the fourth wall. you'd have to shake your controller to get him to sing the more difficult notes (bellydancing-gate flashbacks). i mean, it's not like he has anything better to do, opera isn't coming back any time soon. i'd also suggest Mrs Puffin from the orphanage but she'd probably be dead by this point, right? anyway, what do you guys think about them recruiting Le Paradox?