#and we ran all our errands today so I don't have anything to do tomorrow so maybe finally I will sleep in!

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: May 17

"Seven Spanish Angels” by Willie Nelson & Ray Charles

[mythicthread]

pre-snow

I've been trying to journal a bit more regularly, but the everyday day-in-the-life didn't seem interesting enough to write about. But who cares, really, if it's just for me anyway? It's good writing exercise, in any case.

So, here's today:

I woke up still groggy because we were in bed by 9 pm last night-- which is pretty early!-- and I slept, but I didn't sleep well. I tossed and turned at least a few times every hour, but I woke up and stayed up sometime before 7 am.

K had to go out and get coffee first thing, so he picked up some bacon biscuits for breakfast. We ate and did our usual morning routine, slowly getting into the work flow for the day. I'm working on a write up for the history of st. patrick's day for work, and I wrote on that for a while before some weird brain fog turned on after lunch... I made pizza and watched youtube before K ran an out of town errand and I decided to lay down. The brain fog turned into fatigue and I got dizzy/queasy, so I took youtube to the bedroom and watched on my laptop. I think I dozed in and out a few times for a total of 30 minutes, after which I just got up and waited for K to get home.

We decided we were both feeling too sleepy to cook, so we ordered some hibachi (for the first time in over a year!) and had a nice dinner. I felt some energy from getting food, but that was quickly replaced by the feeling of being too full (despite not overeating) and, again, sleepy. I need to make some more changes, apparently. It's 9:40 pm now, and I just got the urge to write since I haven't been able to make myself do anything else all day.

It'd be nice to do little multi-sections of blog throughout the day... kind of as a way to check in with myself and check things off the list, or just to get my hands & brain working again. Recently I've been feeling the pull of returning back to negative thought patterns and behaviors, and I've not been liking the way that makes me feel. I don't know what's driven me back to these things, but at least I can recognize that they are old habits I wanted-- and still want-- to kick, so it shouldn't be too hard to cut them out and keep them out for good.

I also found some writing (fiction) that reignited that spark... I'm just gonna have to see where that one goes for now. I think I've exhausted my brain again for five minutes... we'll see if I have the spoons tomorrow to do a multi 'check-in' post with myself.

x

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Work was an absolute cluster fuck.

I don't cost much these days so you know I'm having an absolutely Rotten Day.

They never give us enough time to plan.....ever.

So today was touted as an in-service planning day. Thinking that this was going to be the case when I got in I started putting in grades then I started with my parent contact log because there is now a huge Lethe online form to fill out every time a pair of contacts us or we contact them and I needed to get that up date.

I then went in and started to plan but I did not realize that the person that usually helps us was not going to be there and it was just me and the two new teachers who spent most of the time talking to each other. Now one teacher can actually do this she is 23 and already has a master's degree but I cannot plan with other people talking in the room and it was a complete wash for me. I could not plan by myself though because I am sharing two classes with the brand new teacher who is not certified and really doesn't know anything.

We were supposed to plan for literally the rest of the year. Which we could have done if they had actually given us the entire day.

But they didn't.

I had an hour to plan for the entire rest of the year the next nine and a half weeks. Then I had to attend a meeting which could have been done tomorrow after school but no they had to give us the meeting right in the middle of our planning day.

We got an hour and a half off for lunch but by the time I ran my errands I had no time at all and inhaled a Big Mac and bought with a B in my car until it was time for the next meeting.

This meeting took place across town at the high school auditorium and was two and a half hours long it's all of it could have been do it done by Zoom.

By the time we got back to school we had 30 minutes left....OF THE ENTIRE FREAKIMG PLANNING DAY and I hadn't even finished doing what I needed to do for tomorrow, much less the rest of the year.

And they wonder why we cannot keep teachers in this District!!! We started the year 5 teacher short we are now seven teachers short and next year we will probably be 10 to 12 short.

Topper of the day-- hubby didn't sleep well last night so we're not going out --- even though I dressed up did my hair and makeup for the first time all year .

We're ordering a pizza to be delivered at the house for our 23rd anniversary.

How fucking romantic.

I want to scream.

[mythicthread]

post 2, day 7

(Wednesday, day 5)

Yesterday passed in a quick blur. I never even left the house, but I got more things done than expected (or planned).

Laundry in our house, for instance, is a daily task that becomes overwhelming if left alone for too many days in a row. I'm trying to get in the habit of not letting things pile up-- and that isn't just a new rule for the linens. I got *two* loads of clothes done, which significantly cuts down on the amount of laundry I want to finish through the week. Now I'm down to a pile of blankets for the couch (because dogs) and a load of towels, plus all the curtains from the bedroom/laundry room and bathroom doorway. I'm "redecorating" in our bedroom by swapping the living room curtains with two of the ones from the bedroom. New year new look, right? I can't afford to spend on new curtains right now anyway, and this is the most logical solution. Sometimes all you need is the smallest change in your space to give a new perspective. That's what I'm going for here, anyway.

My goal was to get on the ball with kitchen work today, but I went to bed feeling like a blow-up balloon and woke up at 5 AM with cramps. *(I once heard this referred by another woman I admire as her 'moon time' and I loved it, but I've never used it. This seems like the time and place, maybe)* So I crawled back in bed, protected from bleeding on our bedsheets and half-read, half-slept my way to 8 AM when K brought me coffee as a wake up call.

While I finished my book, I sipped on the coffee-- but the coffee didn't outlast the book. I still haven't done anything to ease the cramps for the last hour, and by now it's 11 AM.

K and I need breakfast, and I'm trying to gather the energy to get myself moving.

(Friday, day 7)

I meant to come back to this Wednesday evening, but here we are on Friday afternoon and I felt the call to ramble. Yesterday was kind of a wash-- I was in the throes of my 'moon time' and it was hell on the inside, so I got a few chores done and basically posted up on the couch for *hours* playing video games.

We stayed up til 1 AM this morning, so we woke up about a half hour later than usual to get our day started. K had to go out for some business errands while I took care of a few things around the house. We made a late lunch-- burgers and hashbrowns-- which was originally intended to be our dinner (sans hasbrowns, sub fries) last night before the meetings ran late and we got take out instead.

After lunch I cleaned the kitchen and lit some of the most delicious-smelling wax in one of our old warmers-- it's called misty mornings from Oak & Rye-- it smells like Autumn blew through the entire house in one hour. K is out again on more business, and I am getting all the pet bedding washed while the furbabies are all taking their afternoon naps on the couch.

K says he wants to make pancakes and bacon for dinner and I'm all for it. We'll see what the evening brings. There's about an hour and a half left of daylight left before it's supposed to turn frigid (again...) for another cold day tomorrow.

... have I rambled enough?

My main point of this post (aside from day in the life musings) was to talk about Tarot and how I'm excited to get back into reading regularly after a semi- not-on-purpose break from daily reading. I haven't done a reading today, but the other night I decided to pull my own 'wheel of the year' spread based around one question: where should my focus lie (this year)? and pulled 12 corresponding cards, one for each month.

I then sat with my notebook and wrote down thoughtful bits from the cards that resonated, so I thought I'd post it here and write a little more about how I interpreted the reading as an overall outlook for 2022.

p1. Eight of Swords (reversed)

let go of self-limiting beliefs. Break the cycle of negative thought patterns. Refuse to play victim-- self acceptance is key.

2. Five of Pentacles (rev)

look for an end to difficult times-- focus on what you do have. don't worry about money-- when you truly value something, you make it happen. The universe will support you.

3. The Lovers

choose love and the best version of you. give in to open communication and raw honesty. get clear about your values and beliefs- decide what is and is not essential to you. be authentic and genuine in your endeavors.

4. Six of Wands (rev)

create your own definition of success. don't seek approval from anyone but yourself. keep your ego reigned in as your self-confidence grows. don't get greedy.

5. Four of Swords (rev)

take time to rest. avoid burnout and overwork-- retreat within and use meditation to calm your head. keeping busy is good, but pushing yourself past your limits will only do more harm.

6. Six of Cups (rev)

Reflection and nostalgia isn't always good. don't miss opportunities bu not living in the now. true change happens in the present. learn from your mistakes and forgive.

7. Nine of Wands

trust that setbacks are only a test. every obstacle is just a challenge. you are able to handle anything within yourself. even if you fall, you can get back up. establish your boundaries and don't dim your light for others.

8. Knight of Pentacles

stick to your goals, no matter how slow it goes. go with the flow but commit to your tasks until they're done. keep moving forward.

9. Nine of Swords

don't obsess over your fears. regard negative emotions in passing- focus on what you can do in the here and now. manifest positivity.

10. The Emperor

listen to the advice of others, but know you have the final say. be firm, fair, and unafraid of conflict. claim your authority.

11. Page of Pentacles (rev)

give yourself space if you feel overwhelmed by too much "extra" or getting carried away with "shiny object" goals-- finish what you start.

12. Page of Cups (rev)

tell your inner critic to fuck off and go do what you want. listen to your intuition, but not out of fear. open yourself up and see where that takes you.

I'll be reflecting on this in the following posts, and possibly even more so as I continue learning through my journey with Tarot.

ps: all photos in this post belong to different creators at unsplash.com. they are not mine and I will not take credit for them.