#and with her high charisma she's kinda gonna have to talk to npcs

[gravityrulez]

It's awesome but also kinda really wild how much time you can spend just thinking about your dnd character lmao

like the campaign hasn't even started yet and my little half elf rogue (not Vax) is already living in my head rent free 24/7 and I absolutely love it

[evilauthor]

Maybe...talk?

In my D&D game, my monk kinda befriended a dude by force. She saw him being bullied and some people trying to steal his table at a restaurant and went to sit next to him, acting like he was saving the seat for her and just jumped into the middle of a conversation about the food the place served and that it was her turn to buy dinner, so order what ya want.

The bullies tried to mug him, but after one of them hit her new confused friend when he offered them copper, she proved she was a better fighter and decked the dude...then proceeded to buy her new friend dinner and give him money for a hotel room. He was so confused as to what was happening, who my monk was, and why she insisted on feeding him and telling everyone he was her friend. He was like “I’ve never met you? ...What’s going on?”

Anyway! Fast forward and we run into some bounty hunters who are looking for her tiny friend. Instantly hates the bounty hunters, you don’t hurt her tiny friend. He’s tiny and her friend! The bounty hunters kinda seduce everyone else by being all “he stole stuff” but the thing he stole was was a living thing that had been enslaved. And he killed a noble...but the noble was a rapist. And he kept running away. But the people he was running away from where trying to kill him. So my monk is just sitting here thinking everything is totally justified and trying to say, hey. Why don’t we just...talk to him? Maybe we get his side of the story and act as character witnesses when he talks to the authorities and see if we can get the charges dropped. Because my monk kept saying he was her friend and was a reasonable person who’d talk to us if we asked him.

No one agreed and everyone was coming up with plans on how to corner and attack him, what kind of traps to set up to prevent him from running away. Just being awful. Little friend shows up. Monk assures him it’s safe. He talks, agrees to go to the authorities with the group and let them be his character witnesses.

Afterwards, everyone was all confused. Like how did they pull this off without violence? How did just talking to him in a peaceful setting without attacking him or trying to trap him result in him being helpful and getting the best result?

Little friend reveals he pulled a Last Jedi and wasn’t really here, he sent a projection. He said my monk was the only person in the group he trusted to not attack him on sight, but the fact the meeting had gone well meant he was gonna meet us for real in the morning.

Don’t have the diplomat feat or a super high charisma score. Just had a long history of role playing out that my monk was super nice and doting on an NPC who had no idea what was going on. So the DM rewarded me by saying little friend trusts this strange amazon woman who keeps feeding him.

[queenofnohr]

ok session recap! this is actually a recap from the past 3 sessions but not a ton happened in them for various reasons (like our ranger + druid being absent for one, and our rogue having technical difficulties in another). with this I will be all caught up 😌

Fon!Salem piloted a sub, Roanoke punched a shark in the face, went treasure hunting and found an alchemy jug that was full of mayo

while our rogue was having technical difficulties fon-as-salem rode around on roa’s shoulders, embalmed a corpse using prestidigitation, and then they sat on the docks watching the sunset together (my DM asked us to roll a charisma check and people around us were stunned by how beautiful we were in this picturesque scenery)

we went to a mausoleum to find the stone of golorr only to find the entire place ransacked - bodies, bones, and all, then got ambushed by a rival gang outside (xanathar’s crew)

we accidentally killed a person in broad daylight but got away with murder (again) by negotiating with the guards since they didnt see someone stealing an entire mausoleum’s worth of bodies

we had some downtime while getting our only clue inspected and so Roanoke ordered a custom suit of heavy armor (glamoured to look like a suit). he didn’t have enough money though so the way it happened was that he kabedon’d Fon-as-Salem and the conversation went something like: “I need something from you.” “Oya? It must be important if you’re being this direct...” “It’s embarrassing, so could you just-” [the implication being have this conversation telepathically] “No, no, you’re not getting out of this that easy. I want the words to come from your own lips.” “I need.... *whispering* 600 GP.” “Oh my, you don’t have enough?” “No, it’s *lowers voice again* 1600 GP. I need you for this.” “Ah,  I’ll give it to you no matter what since you asked, but I am curious...” “It’s for a new suit of armor. So I can protect you better *grumbling* since you’re starting to do reckless shit like runnin’ into mobs by yourself”

the rest of the party: *laughing* oh my god ya’ll are too much 😂😂😂

in the meantime we also went to a bar  because our bard got a faction quest to investigate this....... paladin (? i forget) who’s been acting sus. while at the bar Fon!Salem and Roa also get another faction quest from the Zhentarim. They’re also the only ones to realize said paladin is like....... definitely possessed or some shit and his axe is sentient.

They make up a gameplan to deal with the dude, telepathically, AND EVEN THOUGH WE CAN HAVE THESE CONVERSATIONS WHILE DOING OTHER THINGS, my DM canonizes their telepathic conversations as: “Salem and Roanoke look intensely into each others’ eyes for about 3 minutes. (me interjecting: it’s not suspicious or anything!!!!! we can be doing other things while having this convo!) No, this is how it is. It’s kinda weird, but to be fair they do this a lot, so natch.”

The paladin invites us into the sewers to take down a demon. We agree (if only to try and deal with him out of the public’s eye). We get attacked by tentacle monsters. The encounter goes something like this - Roanoke: *gets bound by tentacles* Fon!Salem: Looking good, Roa! *IMMEDIATELY GETS BOUND BY TWO TENTACLE MONSTERS* Roanoke: *breaks free from tentacle monster* Fon!Salem: *fails to break free from tentacles* *weakly, whining* t-tasukete brother...

we get through that encounter, fight the demon, end up having to fight the paladin bc he’s FUCKING POSSESSED, complete our bard’s faction quest even though she isn’t even here

Fon!Salem & Roanoke look into our Zhent faction quest which involves finding a guy. The people he’s associating with are a gang of were-rats. Roanoke almost gets into a fistfight with them in the middle of an alleyway. Fon!Salem is able to diffuse the situation and they tell us to meet them on the docks next evening. Fon!Salem absolutely expects to get jumped.

we get updated on the clue and go to another guy who’s supposed to be able to tell us where the clue leads to - but he doesn’t wanna tell us for free. the party REALLY doesn’t wanna spend money since we’ve been spending a lot already

Fon!Salem (to Roa): “Take off your shirt, brother.” DM: “For reference, because it’s heavy armor now, it’ll take 3 minutes to take off.” Fon!Salem: “What if I help him?” DM: “It’ll take 1 1/2 minutes.” Fon!Salem: “Okay, I strip off my own shirt then help Roa out of his.” DM: “Yeah, okay. You strip your brother. Roll a charisma check.” me: *rolls a 23* DM “Oh shit, yeah okay. This dude is fucking enamored by your pecs.” NPC: “Jesus your abs.... I could wash clothes on those things..... Holy shit......” Fon!Salem: “So can you tell us now?” NPC: “W-Well, customer confidentiality and all... Maybe if you sweeten the deal....” Fon!Salem: “So do you wanna get tag-teamed by us or do you want to watch us make-out with each other?” Roanoke: “If you want more than that, you’ll have to pay good coin.” The rest of the party: “OH MY GOD *incomprehensible squealing noises*” NPC, trying to hold onto a shred of dignity: “N-No what I meant was either funding or ideas for my inventions...” DM: “I do need to clarify that he’s still staring holes into Salem and Roanoke’s naked torsos” Fon!Salem: “What if we sell you the rights to our likeness so you can make anatomically accurate sexbots of us?” DM, choking: “ROLL PERSUASION” Our Ranger: “PLEASE ROLL HIGH OMG I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN”

we did not roll high. I asked our ranger if she intended to buy one to which she responded “No comment.” I then asked her OOC if she intended to and, in-between laughing hysterically, still answered “I dont wanna answer that”

we were able to get the info just bc Fon!Salem 1. needed to silver their dagger in preparation for getting jumped by the were-rats. 2. bought a parachute backpack for a handy dandy escape 3. asked the NPC inventor to discreetly implement a grappling hook gun disguised as a telescope onto the turret that attaches to the twins’ room (just in case Fon!Salem & Roa ever need to backstab the party and set the whole bar on fire and make a quick escape, you know?) and the NPC inventor decided that was enough coin to get him to talk

we go to get jumped by the were-rats. we successfully incapacitated them which is where the last session ended and Fon is gonna wake the leader up and interrogate them straight mafia style next session.

Fon!Salem also got bitten by one of them and failed the con save and so got afflicted by the curse of lycanthropy. HOWEVER, there’s almost no downside to this as it means that Fon is impervious to most damage that isn’t magical or done by a silvered weapon AND because they are a changeling, even physical symptoms can be suppressed. so they might just keep it for now (our evil paladin friend might be able to dispel the curse?)

This is extra delicious thematically bc Roanoke, as a priest of Selune, is trained to hunt (evil) lycanthropes