#and yeah it isn't really your fault you were drugged and mind controlled and you're 13 years old
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<head in my hands thinking about arasol again
#imagine being 13 and a mean girl in your friend group mind controls you into eating something that sends you into a state of#psychotic violent rage then flies you over to your girlfriends house and lets you kill her#and yeah it isn't really your fault you were drugged and mind controlled and you're 13 years old#and your girlfriend (ex girlfriend?) doesn't blame you but she is a ghost that is hauntjng you now#not intentionally in the spooky ghost way but just in the sense that she exists in the world and it's your fault because you killed her#and yeah you were sort of a shitty brat but you were 13 and it was just the normal sort of shitty that kids are at that age#but now you just have to live the rest of your life#feeling responsible for this and not knowing how to talk about it and feeling even weirder because your ghost ex girlfriend is still#recognizably herself but she's also Different and it's difficult and painful for you to acknowledge this. you are 13 btw.#anyway what is more heartbreaking than aradia looking up into the sky and being excited that sollux has come to visit her#her whole face lights up like it is an unexpected surprise#before she realizes#homestuck
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