#and yes I actually deleted it before posting hoping i'd be able to start writing again

[bard-llama]

20 Question Fic Writer Game

Thanks for tagging me @chickiefoo!

How many works do you have on AO3? Today, 450. Probably will go up in the next few days, though, because I enjoy posting daily when I can and I have some new content (vs new chapters to published stuff)

What is your AO3 word count? 2,177,884 🤯🤯🤯

What fandoms do you write for? Primarily, I write for the Witcher, but I spent the last year writing for Avatar, the Last Airbender. Honestly, I've written for a number of fandoms, but most of it was when I first got an AO3 account in high school and college, before I stopped writing for several years. The Witcher got me back into it, and since then, it's only been that and atla. And maybe possibly the DND movie a little bit, but I don't actually have any words on paper, so I don't think it counts.

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. Fire and Water (atla) 2. A Second Chance at Family (atla) 3. Five Times Geralt Frotted Against Jaskier's Ass and One Time He Fucked It (TWN) 4. 5 Dinners with the Lioness (Plus 1 with the Lion Cub) (TWN) 5. Death Rites (atla) Kinda funny that I have more Witcher Video Game (esp Iorveth/Roche) fics than any others and yet none make the top 5, but honestly, I think it's just because atla and TWN have bigger fandoms with more people. And technically, I do mostly write a rare pair... (they have 744 works now... but 146 of those are mine...)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to, but honestly, I get overwhelmed really easily and I figure people would prefer if I focus my effort on writing vs trying to respond if it's a choice between the two, so...

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hmmm. See, the thing is, endings are.... not something I get to that often. But the first thing that came to mind was an atla fic where Zuko gets his hands chopped off and his feet fucked up and then has to learn how to recover. In general, though, I have to write endings that are at least hopeful, if not necessarily happy.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Uh. I don't even know how to measure this???? Maybe Bitter Victories (Witcher)? That one starts out really angsty, but ends in the afterlife with a happily ever after (but like, kind of a bittersweet one bc they're alone in their afterlife, all their friends still alive).

Do you get hate on fics? Unfortunately, I had a fic fairly recently that I really did get a lot and that was rough. But also, when I mentioned it in the author's notes, people were really, really sweet and supportive in response. So if you get hate: delete it and seek out validation from people, because you deserve to know that the hate is bullshit. And also, the back button exists and if you're old enough to be on the internet, you're old enough to know how to use it.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I have 103 Explicit fics on AO3, so... yeah. Um. The kinky kind???

Do you write crossovers? Not really? Well, I guess it depends on how you define it. I do a lot of like, crossovers between different Witcher mediums - but it's all still the same universe. I dunno that I'd ever branch into doing a whole different universe (though, just saying, Ciri's power was made for universe hopping).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. I hope not?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! It's so cool! I had a fic get translated into Russian.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Not really. When I was 9 or 10, my bestie and I would write together, but honestly, I like having full control over everything and my muse is unpredictable. It's best to just work alone than to have someone waiting on something I can't promise I'll deliver. That said, my process really depends on being able to talk through and brainstorm ideas with other people. It's very much collaborative, but I - or rather, my muse - has ultimate control.

What's your all-time favourite ship? Probably Iorveth/Roche (Witcher)? I mean, I've written an awful lot of them and they're the kind of characters where even if the story isn't about them, there's still a regard between them, you know?

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? I like to believe that I will one day finish ALL my WiPs... as much of a pipe dream as that sometimes seems... (I have over 300 WiPs)

What are your writing strengths? I think I'm pretty good at character voice? And I'm decent at porn. Uh, I guess my muse is really inventive, too? And I certainly have no shortage of ideas.

What are your writing weaknesses? Description is definitely the biggest one. I am not a visual person AT ALL and so I don't really think to describe the scene much??? And I really can only give details if I've actually like, built out the floorplan or made the character design or something. There's a reason I build a lot of settings and characters in the Sims.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I mean, I've done it, I think it can be important for a scene - but I also think it's important for the reader to know what's being said, so I usually put it in brackets next to the other language, so you don't have to jump to footnotes or something.

First fandom you wrote for? BBC Merlin, I think

Favourite fic you've ever written? You expect me to choose ONE!?!?!?! (Honestly, it depends on my mood.)

This was fun! Tagging @lutes-and-dandelions, @moonlights-ordinance, @miahclone, @fantom-flower, @useless-empty-brain, anyone else who wants to???

[loudlooks]

Close Shave

Is Tiva Fic Amnesty still a thing now that Ziva’s officially back? BTW, I’m totally ignoring the “not every fic needs to be published” rule here, consider that a warning.

I don’t remember what time frame I pictured this in, maybe season 5 or 6? As usual, no plot. Loosely inspired by a scene from The X-files (which unfortunately wasn’t even MSR, except in my imagination).

Also on FF and AO3

Word count: 1805

A yank on the drawer handle revealed his electric shaver. Grabbing it with one hand, rubbing the scruff on his chin with the other, he looked up just in time to see Ziva roll her eyes.

“What?”

“Imagine if I shaved my legs at my desk,” she replied testily.

He raised an eyebrow and grinned widely, only mildly disappointed he hadn’t come up with that image before. “Nobody would get any work done,” he said as his eyes wandered to where her legs were hidden behind the cold, hard metal of her desk.

She turned towards her computer screen, but he caught the corners of her lips twitch ever so slightly.

“Think of the cleaning crew, Tony,” she said flatly.

Ignoring her comment, he tried to remember what her bare legs looked like while hitting the power button on his shaver. Silence greeted him and he pushed the switch once more.

Nothing.

Resisting the urge to smack it on the side of his desk, he muttered, “Damn it, I charged you yesterday.”

Turning the electric razor over and over in his hand, vigorously  pressing the button a few more times—surely it will work this time—he looked up when Gibbs dumped two items on his desk before heading to the elevator.

He picked up Gibbs’ straight razor and opened it carefully. As the blade glinted in the fluorescent light overhead, he met Ziva’s eyes across the bullpen, and deadpanned, “I think the boss wants me dead.”

She was beside him in a flash, admiring the lethal piece of steel with an eager smile. “I have not used one of those in years.”

“Why did you use a…” He stood up, pushing images of slit throats and blood stains to the back of his mind. “You know what, I don’t wanna know.” He grabbed the shaving gel and pointed it at her. “If I’m not back in ten, call Ducky and tell him to bring a body bag.”

He tried to walk around her, but Ziva stopped him with a finger to his chest. “I am very good with knives, I could give you a shave.”

Staring down at her smiling face, he raised an eyebrow. The gleam in her eyes both worried and excited him. He bit down a smile as angry hornets seemed to take up residence in his stomach.

“Someone’s an eager beaver.” He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips, images of her strong tan legs, and a skimpy bikini bottom flashed to the forefront of his mind.

She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, it only made him want to stay in her personal space even longer. Accepting her offer would achieve just that. “Fine,” he said with a calmness he didn’t feel.

Her smile turned mischievous and his brain to mush; he’d always had a soft spot for her dangerous side. It haunted him in his dreams, and occasionally his nightmares.

She grabbed a small towel from her backpack, and almost speed-walked towards the men’s room. He followed her like a puppy—who’s the eager beaver now—his gaze focused on the sway of her hips.

The way she barged into the men’s room like she owned the place sent a tingle down his spine. She kind of did, he supposed, other agents always scattered like roaches afraid of the light when she walked in there.

“This isn’t going to be perfect,” Ziva said as she dumped the towel next to the sink, turned on the hot water tap, then grabbed a stack of paper towels from the dispenser. “But it will be fun.” Her gaze flicked down his body, briefly landing on his lips on the way up.

His smile wavered, then he grimaced into the mirror and rubbed his hands over his cheeks. “I don’t want to end up like Leatherface.” He ignored her look of confusion—as well as the disappointment in himself for once again skirting around their obvious physical attraction—and continued, “Isn’t it ironic that I trust you more with a razor sharp blade against my throat than behind the wheel of a car.”

She roughly pushed him aside with her hip, stepped in front of the sink and glared at his reflection. He patted his cheeks again, making sure that laser sharp look hadn’t rendered a shave unnecessary.

After soaking the towel with hot running water and wringing it out, she handed it to him, and told him to cover his face. He briefly complained about how ridiculously elaborate she was making things, but complied after she raised an eyebrow and tested the sharpness of the razor on a paper towel.

His face and ears warmed exponentially with each passing moment of awkward silence. “I feel like an idiot.” The towel covering his face only half responsible for his mixed feelings.

“Good.”

The hint of amusement in her voice was barely audible, but enough to release the tightness that had settled around his heart. A second later, Ziva pulled the towel away, made room next to the sink and easily lifted herself onto the countertop. As soon as she grabbed hold of his tie, pulling him in between her legs, any sense of awkwardness evaporated. He scanned her face intently, looking—hoping—for...for what exactly? The lingering smell of her shampoo heightened his senses, and he wondered, not for the first time, when she had started getting under his skin quite like this.

Ziva seemed unaffected, preoccupied with lathering up shaving gel in the palms of her hands.

Clinging to the belief that he had gotten better at reading her than even Gibbs, he hoped for a look, he’d settle for a glance—one of those furtive, yet exposed glances she sometimes sent him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention.

And there it was, so fleeting he would’ve missed it if he hadn’t been fixated on her every move. Unaware, her gaze immediately followed what her hands were doing—spreading the gel evenly all over his two-day stubble.

Emboldened by the evanescent look, he smiled faintly and placed his hands on either side of her legs. She narrowed her eyes at a spot close to his ear, fussing with the gel too long for it to be anything other than a distraction.

“Stop smiling,” she said quietly.

His smile widened, she briefly closed her eyes, then met his. “Tony.”

It never seized to amaze him how much she could say with just one word, his name. Not quite an admonishment, more of an acknowledgement, a “not now, but maybe later”.

She held the razor up, and he knew she was right; there wasn’t time to get into any of this now, he had to be clean-shaven and dressed to the nines in half an hour. Why was their timing always off?

He sighed and relaxed his face so she could get to work.

Pulling the skin taut with one hand, she placed the edge of the cold blade against his cheek with the other. “I haven’t done this in a while.”

His eyes flashed to hers. Was she talking about the shaving or that thing between them that they weren’t talking about? The mischievous grin appeared again, only this time it annoyed him more than anything else. He was tired of maintaining the status quo, evading his feelings with humor and banter.

As she moved the blade downwards in slow, even strokes that he could barely feel, he considered the possibility of having read her wrong. Maybe their physical closeness, the intimacy of trusting her to run a blade over his face and throat, had clouded his judgement.

“How attached are you to your sideburns?” She wasn’t even trying to hide the teasing in her voice.

His skin tingled as sweat began to form, frustration building as feelings of doubt settled deep down inside. “Can you stop joking.”

She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “That’s rich coming from you.”

“Hey, I joke to deflect.” Ziva narrowed her eyes. “And, occasionally out of boredom,” he conceded.

She lowered her hands, busied them with cleaning the blade, then looked at him decisively. “I know.” Inhaling deeply, she placed to razor on his other cheek. “Let us  just get this over with.”

Did she mean the shave, or the conversation they had been avoiding for years?

Her hands moved expertly over his face as his drifted to her thighs on their own volition. She stilled her movements, a beat passed before her gaze met his. Open and exposed she bit her bottom lip, then got back to work.

He didn’t dare move his hands until she rinsed the blade and carefully placed it aside. His fingers squeezed gently, feeling the strong muscle underneath the rough denim as she held his gaze.

She dabbed his face clean with wet paper towels, avoiding his gaze again, a myriad of emotions  washing over her eyes, eventually settling on fear.

“It will be dangerous,’ she said gravely.

It took him a moment to realize she was talking about the undercover op, not them. He grinned and squeezed her thighs reassuringly. “You’ll have my back.”

Shaking her head vigorously, she said, “No, Tony, I will be in the van down the road, it could take minutes before I…”

Smoothing her fingers over his cheeks,  her thumbs briefly caressed his lips and she made eye contact.

He smiled gently. “I’ll be careful, I’m gonna want another shave like this.”

She released a breath, fear fading from her eyes as she leaned in closer. Her lips touched his tentatively at first, then firmly. Claiming him, giving him a reason to be extra careful.

The sound of the door handle barely registered in his mind, and was swiftly followed by Ziva’s warm hands on his chest, pushing him backwards as she slid of the countertop, turned and smoothly wiped up some spilled water with a paper towel.

From the corner of his eye he saw the door open and a familiar figure walk in. Briefly looking at Ziva in the mirror, he noticed a light blush on her cheeks.

“Oh, hey, boss,” he said lightly.

Gibbs looked at him with scrutiny, then a gave a small nod. “Nice job, Ziver.”

She turned around, blush gone, that mischievous look that always stirred up the hornets’ nest in his stomach firmly in place. Smiling smugly, she looked from him to Gibbs, and said, “It’s not every day I have the opportunity to put I knife so close to DiNozzo’s throat.”

Gibbs smirked and walked past them without a second glance.

Feeling overly confident he winked at Ziva before quickly gathering his things, and catching up to her at the door. He glanced back at Gibbs, then opened the door for Ziva and whispered, “That was a really close shave.”

[samissosexyyy]

Tumblr thought it would be hilarious to delete all my work and not let me answer requests :').

YES I SHALL WRITE THE PLATONIC ANGRY PARENTS-

And thank you-I woke up and was talking to my friend in the morning and my brain just: jojo villain yandere dads. Mudad mudad mudad mudad anger.

Anyways, here they are- Do these even count as headcanons???? I dunno-

Dio, Part 1

Vampire form of course.

First thing first, We all know he'd be a great dad. Protective already, But make him a yandere platonic father? Oh boy, Trust me, You'd be spoiled and treated like royalty.

Now, I'm gonna say in this scenario you were on of his victims child. I'll say you'll be around 5 to eight.

Somehow you managed to catch his eye, Is it because your parent was just as bad as his? You reminded him of his mother? Or maybe you resemble him, and have three moles on your ear. Or, perhaps, A younger joestar? Either way, You somehow had him feeling like a father, and, according to one of my friends, Araki had said DIO would treat his children like they were royalty, And they would be so spoiled.

So, Mudad would end up taking you in, kidnapping, whichever honestly. He'd be holding you like a loving pet owner would, if you got scared, he'd probably be confused. Honestly he'd have you turned into a vampire quickly, as he knew he wouldn't be able to have children as a Vampire.

Truthfully, I think you'd end up never noticing how he'd occasionally pull you closer, or how he'd glare at anyone your age or older going near you. Or how he'd give you some strict rules, Like no dating anyone. E v e r. And why would you ever want to hurt your papa like that?! You wouldn't want to do that, right?! Of course you wouldn't! Dio knew you'd never betray him like that!!

Truth be told, he'd guilt you if you tried to go against his words. But punishments? No no, He'd never actually purposefully hurt you, Unlike his love interest, he'd NEVER want to cause you pain ever. He'd hate himself and wouldn't forgive himself for years. Centuries. Infact, he'd beg for your forgiveness.

The Pillarmen

And satannnaaaaa

First of all, You aren't a pillarchild. You'd most likely be some kind of god, vampire, or a young hamon learner. Or even related to the Joestars or Ceasar.

So, Let's say you're immortal who can walk in the sun. We all know you'd be the joestar side, Right? So, That means you'd end up hating or feeling pity for the pillarmen. First, You'd probably end up trying to make Santana hally when he awakens. Unlike with Joseph, He'd probably know not to attempt to attack you. Let's say you have symbols like Dio Over heaven, We all know how that would work.

You'd end up as a being worshipped by them, probably kidnapped after they destroy the Joestars.

Let's say they defeated Joseph and the others, and you were still a deity, You'd most likely be weaker then them in this scenario. They'd probably treat you like a kitten at first, like a baby before they all felt a connection. As if you were a child of their own, so they'd give you rules. And we all know how rules go with yanderes.

Let's say uh- you fell for a mortal.

"No. No."

[Crush name has fallen from a high place.]

"DADS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU-"

"NO CUSSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!"

or something like that :')

Honestly, You'd have bird dad, and a bunch of other dads. Santana would honestly be like the cool big brother honestly. You'd probably want horns too so-

They would totally buy you halloween horns to put on your head so you'd be happy baby

Now, Hamon user? They'd probably find you like a cute animal at first, probably going easy on you like it was a game of tag. Soon, they'd realize how weak and fragile you are, After all, You are just starting hamon. They'd probably kidnap you to spite Joseph and his side at first, before... Well, You didn't expect to become a vampire and treated like royalty when all you've been treated like is uh... Considering Lisalisa is your coach, I'd say you'd be happy if it was someone else doing this for you.

Josephs sibling? WOAH Joseph, When did you get a cute sibling? Pfft, Not your sibling anymore, They just adopted your ex sibling nerd.

But, All jokes aside, They'd probably be surprised that you were more mature then your brother, and...you sorta resemble a certain Coach... Oh, Humans all look the same, haha.

They'd probably kidnap you infront of Joseph just to make him feel guilt and rage, After all, Why not get their prized treasure and make Joseph angry? They'd give you more rules, until Joseph was gone, of course.

And, sadly, Not even you crying would stop them from making you into a vampire infront of your big brother, breaking both of your hearts.

Don't worry you got ice cream later smh.

Ceasars sibling? Mini pancake? Haha, They'd kidnap you as soon as they felt parent like tendencies. No denying them, infact, they'd make sure you saw ceasar get defeated by the ro ck. But don't worry! You have new parents and a brother-! Haha, Poor you.

Part 3 DIO AKA mudad!

Honest to god you'd probably have to be a stand user with a weak or strong stand, or, you were one of his kids he had with a lucky woman who survived and got a naked polaroid of him as a 'wow you lived! Congrats, now go have my kid lmao' gift. Or, Maybe you were a normal kid who was kind to him, even if he,,,,  did some questionable murder infront of you. And maybe you were a young

Now, Let's say you were a strong stand user. He'd end up wanting to use a flesh bud until he realized... He never had a kid, that he knows of, and decided to raise you! At first he'd be upset you had a strong stand like your mudad, but realized you could protect yourself from those dreadful joestars! Congrats, You became a Brando! :) How unlucky, Considering this DIO would probably force vampire masks onto you, or even using fleshbuds as a threat. Either way, You'll always be papas baby!

Yoshikage kira.

Like I said in my first post of this, He'd want to have a nice average life. You having a stand wouldn't be a problem, Since he'd probably convince you Josuke and the others are awful and rude.

Josukes sibling? Well, He'd end up telling you he can help your brother with his murder issue if you come with him. You don't exactly have a choice since Killer queen would easily overpower you if you had disagreed. You'd end up being a normal and peaceful child before long, Infact, He'd have to pretend he had adopted you behind his 'wifes' back.

Hayotos friend he never talks about? Congrats, You are now stuck with a crazy and loving father! And a mother, I suppose. And you get your best friend as a brother! You'd never be able to leave, how sad. But, You'd have your new mom and your dad to talk to-! And killer queen cuddle time.

Now, Let's say you were his own kid. Wowzers! You think its normal for your father to bring women hands home, after all, You are pretty young and your father told you most adults do this. Ah. How enjoyable.

Doppio/Diavolo

Oh dear. You poor child.

Either you were related to trish, and he somehow felt like you wouldn't be a problem before they felt more of a father love towards you, Most likely somehow getting rif of the traitors and your big sister.

"Where's big sister?"

"Don't worry about her, She's spending time with your mother."

Smh quit LIEING you jERK!

But seriously, Doppio would be like the fun mom asking you if you'd like bake cupcakes in his spare time! Read you bed time stories and whatnot! Diavolo would be awkward and "wanna play baseball or whatever kids like to do these days?" Awkward dad alert.

"My kid is fine!"

The kid they kidnapped/raised:

Casually trying to beat another kid with a baseball.❤💚💛

Honestly they'd insult everyone elses kids while here their kid is, casually scared of baseball.

Pucci

Papa priest! We all know he'd adopt you! I head canon him as gay, considering DIO and him were totally a thing.

So, He'd probably have you study Lord DIO bibles, and casually have you hate Jolyne. Probably even give you a stand, And even show you that DIO is the best! Worship! Protect yourself and all that!

Jotaro would probably scare you,  so I can see you holding onto Pucci while Jotaro appears anytime, so pucci would infact love it when you snuggle onto him lime a cute kitten. Hell, you even Sneeze like a kitten!

Honestly You'd be kept under watch 24/7, but you'd think it was normal, after all, Your father would mever do something so awful like Those Joestars claim...right?

Diego

Oh wow- dino dad :)

Let's say you were a big fan of his, Then, Well,You wouldn't mind having him as a dad, Now would you? He is your idol, Right? Yeah. Yeah!

He'd probably carry you around upside down, Hot pants just questioning his sanity as he drops you a million times. Hot pants would probably end up carrying you most of the time.

Mama hot pants and father Diego. Y es.

And, Let's say you were traveling with Johnny. Congrats. You've put yourself in a even worse situation considering Diego would become worried and paranoid over those two idiots hurting you! And he hates the idea of his baby boy/girl/child being hurt by barbarians!!!

Even though he'd probably hurt you on accident if I'm gonna be honest.

Kidnapping isn't a very easy job, so of course he had to knock you out! What was he supposed to do?! Ask you to come stay with him forever?! No! Maybe! HuawhuKaia-

Honestly not too many rules, just don't leave his side ever! Except when going to the bathroom. You'll be tied to his horse. No whining >:(.

Funny Valentine

Honestly what did you think he was going to do? Pick some random child? No no, He'd choose the PERFECT child! You were so lucky! Wow! The daughter of the mos powerful man ever! Lucky you, Right?

No. You don't get alone time unless it's you sleeping or bathing. You wear what he wants, and no.

Dating not allowed. Bad. No no no no no.

"No. No dating. Your lips will fall off."

"but mommys lips didn't-"

"Your face will melt off."

Basically you'd be bossed around and treated like royalty, as long as you listen to you dad!

Honestly I don't know if this is headcanons, if if it isn't feel free to scream at me in the comments-

AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER, SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND ARE ABLE TO ENJOY IT??? I GUESS???

[flowerslut]

um hi (?) idk how this works so if i messed up something i’m deeply sorry i didn’t mean to!! To be honest i’m not even sure it’s the right person i’m writing to so if that ends up being like that i’m also sorry that must be awkward !! basically all i’m trying to say is that i’ve spent the last two weeks reading CoTN, — actually that’s the second time i’m finishing it and it’s almost 2:00 AM, my pillow is SOAKING for all the tears I’ve shed AGAIN and i still can’t seem to put myself together back to sleep because tomorrow i have school and i’m not mentally prepared— ( i’m also contemplating on starting it all over again because i just can’t get enough ), but i loved it, like i truly truly truly truly loved it, the way you portrayed every character was just- and let’s not talk about the fact that at least for me it was like actually seeing them, i mean i could easily picture rosalie and edward having their little fights or emmett just being the emmett we all love, you truly made me love them more and believe me when i say that It’s just extremely good and the last days i’ve spent reading it made me truly happy or at least made me forget a bit about the world outside, ( just never delete that that’s where all my happiness resides ). I’m happy I found it — one thing i’m really grateful for is that i found it now that’s all completed (CoTN, yes if that wasn’t clear enough that’s my favorite in your series), and not when you were still updating, just because i would’ve not made it till the next update. I hope you’ll keep updating The Death of Dusk! ( I really can’t wait for that one i’m sksndisj) Again I love it a lot !! I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, i don’t know if i’m doing it correctly or posting it in the right place, but by the time you read this i’ll be on my sixth time reading CoTN !! I’m sorry for this long ass message I didn’t mean it to be that long but there were so many things i wanted to say and still i want to tell you, they’re just a lot but i think that’s more than enough for now, i’m also sorry for any spelling mistakes i don’t even know if the majority of things that i said made sense, it’s really late and i’m emotionally unstable plus english it’s not even my mother langue so if that ends up being an entirely incomprehensible mess just know that i loved your work and hope you continue working on it!! <3 Alright that’s enough good night & thanks for the emotional instability of the night !! i just know tomorrow i’ll regret this for not writing a simple I loved it a lot.

oh my god well first of all hello and secondly yes hi my dear you are absolutely in the right place! I am so sorry it's taken me so long to see this I'm not sure how this message slipped me by but I am ATROCIOUS at replying to asks (always have been always will be)

thank you so, so, so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed call of the night and that you love the death of dusk so much. I hope you've been able to read some (or all) of walk in the dark since you sent me this, and I hope it was to your liking!

I pinky promise I'll never delete call of the night although I do have some loose plans to one day re-write the first several chapters. as time passes its very easy (for me, at least) to tell which chapters are the ones 16 year old Shannon drafted up and outlined and which ones 24 year old Shannon picked up and finished. it won't change any of the plot but it will hopefully change the overall flow of the beginning, that way it doesn't drag so much and feel so clunky. don't worry I'll give everyone a heads up before I start replacing chapters in case anyone wants to download the original for posterity's sake.

I wish I had more to share with you other than a thousand 'thank yous'. messages like this really do mean the world to me, and I'm so happy I could provide you with some measure of joy or any degree of escapism. I love this message and you very much! if you've read walk in the dark (which is finished, as of this past week) I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you think I did and what you liked or didn't like.

thank you again, I hope you're well

[lilallama]

hello! i reaaaaally really reaaalllllyyyy love your writing! I'd like to know how both clubs would react to their beloved texting them? it could be anything you want! I trust your creative mind:D i hope you're doing well~(´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`)

[Thank you so much, cinnamon bun ❤ that makes me really happy ^^. I'm doing very good, I hope you do too. Hobis picture didn't fit on here (TT), so I will post it by itself. 💕🍑]

Hoseok

The young boy layed on his silk sheets, on his four thousand dollar mahogany bed, while drowning in the sounds of his best friend. On his phone he kept repeatedly playing the recordings of their calls. Hearing their voice felt like heaven to him, if he could he'd make them talk forever just so he could dwell in the sound of their voice. Suddenly his euphoria was interrupted by a notification.

Y/n 💕

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

He sat up and put on his glasses. Yes, it really was Y/n. Although they consider him a best friend, Hoseok still cannot stop his heart from racing in his chest. He quickly typed an answer and jumped up to send them a picture of his finnished work.

Seokjin

With his soft black hair pulled back my a fluffy, pink headband and him wearing an evenly fluffy but white bathrobe, he sat in his private bathroom and applied his expensive skincare products. He hummed and sang a bit [I love you, Y/n~] before being interrupted by his phone notifying him that he got a message.

Prince/ss 👑

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

He immediately threw his fifty dollar "protection and hydration, for a longer lasting youthful look" cream away and hurried to type back. Why should his love have to do homework, when he'll have one of his butlers do it for them. Silly Y/n.

Yoongi

The newest Rap music blasting in his ears, Yoongi hugged a photo of Y/n, his gorgeous [not yet] lover, to his chest. He dispises most of the new music. It's all money, sex and parties, none of which has anything to do with him. He's an anti social virgin, who has to work two part time jobs to be able to provide for himself and his alcoholic mother. But in that moment he didn't care. The sobs escaping his mouth got interrupted by a notification, no one ever texts him.

Angel 🎶

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

His red, watery eyes widen. They actually wrote him. They noticed little, boring him. Without thinking he typed a response and made his way to give them what they asked for.

Namjoon

The sound of a pen scraping against paper, leavibg behing dark blue, inky lines that are formed into neat writings. As student council president, Namjoon made sure to set an example to everyone. Diligent, devoted, intelligent, responsible Namjoon. Just as the last sentence was brought to an end, a notification popped up on his phone. He was going to ignore the message, but then spotted the name of the sender.

Darling ❤

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

His pen rolled out of his hand and hit the polished floor of his room. His love just texted him. They asked for his help! Is he dreaming? He must be. Oh, how he longed for such a moment. He can finally be useful to his darling.

Jimin

The music came to a stop and so did Jimin. He pushed his pink hair out of his sweaty face, while whiping some of the sweat away with his already soaked shirt. The white fabric sticking uncomfortably to his body as he tried to catch his breath. After all there's no time for breaks, he has to impress his baby with his skills! But before he could start the music again, his phone buzzed in his backpack. He walked across the practice room with an annoyed look on his face.

Baby 🥰

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

Jimins vision went hazy for a second and he lost balance. Now on the floor, he still stared at the message. His face flushed even more than before while thinking about their cute face, distraught at having forgotten the homework. He smiled and took a picture of him winking, making sure to take it so they could see his sweaty shirt, stuck to his back in the mirror. He'll send you it once he gets home, until then how about you talk for a bit?

Taehyung

The artistic boy kept his eyes on the canvas before him. His apron had multiple dried up colour stains, while fresh paint coated his fingertips. Some of the paint got smushed on his face as he brushed his bangs aside, while sone of the paint also got stuck in his locks as he tied them into a small bun. He stepped back, the painted face of his love smiling back at him made him break out into a lovestruck boxy grin. But then his phone buzzed and his smile immediately disappeared.

God/dess 🌹

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

With his mouth slightly agape, his almond eyes stared at the slightly stained screen. Was he imagining things, was his god/goddess really giving him the chance to serve them. After a few seconds he snapped out of it and hurried to grab his homework.

Jeongguk

In the dark of the night, Jeongguk slouched through the streets. He just got in a fight, boxed the guy so hard that he broke his nose, arm and maybe a rib, just to leave that pathetic, shaking pile of shit whimpering on the ground. As the streetlights softly shone down on him, illuminating his face, he received a message.

Spouse 💍

Have you got the homework for today?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

He stopped in his tracks. A cold wind surrounded him, messing up his hair even more. A bright smile appeared on his face, revealing his bunny like teeth. After jumping around and twirling once or twice he stopped to reply. He couldn't repress the laugh that escaped his dry throat. Now he only has to hurry home!

Jennie

She was feasting with her parents at the gisnt dinner table, but they completely disregarded her existence, only having eyes for each other. She chuckled and cleared her throat, catching her parents attention who bashfully laughed along with her. Jennies parents are exactly how she wishes her future marriage to be. They started talking when her phone notified her of a message.

Y/nie 😘

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

Before her mother could scold her on her lack of etiquette, she squealed in a high pitched note, that her Y/n just texted her. Of course, her parents knew about you as well as her feelings for you, they were the exact same when they were younger. They sighed lovingly and huddled together while their daughter excitedly texted her love.

Jisoo

Just a few minutes ago, she was busy going through all her Y/n pictures that have she took these past months [5732, not counting her digital copies]. She was just brushing her silky black hair when her phone let out that obnoxious tone. Jisoo snapped around to her phone on her bed, her 20th one this month [her phone keeps running out of storage room from all her photos, yet she refuses to delete any. So she just gets a new one once her current runs out if storage]. She looked at the screen.

My Muse

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

As soon as she read these messages, her expression brightened. He brush was thrown into a corner of her big room, making a clack sound as it hit the tiles. In a matter of seconds she typed her answer and send you the homework, as you requested.

Chaeyoung

Soft, gentle fingers stoked the strings on a wooden guitar, filling the room with a sweet melody. An angelic voice joined the guitar play, creating a fairytale like song. As it slowly came to an end, the girl to whom that angelic voice belongs, leans over to her nightstand, grabbing her phone. With longing eyes she stared at the screen while muttering please under her breath. Just then, she received a text message.

My Lovely Y/n 😊

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

She jumped up, placing the guitar on her bed while dancing around. Her eyes, filled with love and adoration, focused on the text. She took a screenshot and replied while singing out of happiness.

Lisa

After she had finished her last pirouette for the day, she scated off the ice to remove her scates. The young girl sat on the cold bench, letting her hair out of her bun, to flow over her shoulders in smooth waves. While removing her skates, she received a notification on her phone.

Sweetheart 🌸

Have you got the homework for today, girl?

If yes, could you please tell me, thanks.

Lisa smiled as she exchanged her ice skates for a pair of warm boots and placed them back to where they belong. While texting her love, she walked out with poise and flipped her hair back. Of course her love would rely on her. She is the most trustworthy person after all.

[poniesandcupcakes]

Started alone, ending alone it seems. Memento Mori everyone. Unus. Annus.

I wanna thank you guys so much for everything, I don't know if you'd actually see this or the short goodbye tweet I plan to send out too,

But I was in a really horrible hole a month before unus annus. I lost my best friend after we both seemed to have such a sudden impulse to tell eachother how much it'd hurt to lose the other the exact day she was hospitalized. Barely hours before. I'm genuinely just crying because, in the beginning, I had such a panicked attachment like as if Unus Annus was the final thing I had left to stay sane and happy and to stop thinking about losing someone who was my best friend only four years short of my entire life (we were both freshly 18 when she died.)

I got this tattoo because of my loss and because of you guys, I have a poor memory and it hurt just the thought of forgetting even something as simple as our nicknames or her handwriting that used to be all over everything of mine. You guys are seriously so fucking awesome, on my other platforms aside from this I did back and forth posts of daily unus annus updates on my life and planned to delete it all like the channel, but fell hard on the impending dread of her anniversary, even months prior on my own birthday. I got separated from friends for close to half a year due to a virus, my other two best friends either moved away or seemed to care more about their relationship than me and their family, my dad works in another timezone and missed copious opportunities to visit during a year long separation from me, my mom and brother, and may even have to come as late as just before Christmas when he could've been home in a day.

I've wanted to say it and know you guys know, I love you guys and I love what you've done and I'm so so fucking thankful you did this, I was ready to go into a shell of being an even bigger introvert than I already am after losing the person I grew with to be comfortable out of my usual zone. I used to make comedy videos, write, make sketches, and be so creative before last October, and I think I would have definitely let you down not going after those goals and ignoring the potential I could have had, if not for your videos. You guys inspired me more than I thought you had.

I did break several times at the different times you guys spoke about the other dying, I could never wish that on anyone. My boyfriend and I both lost our best, closest friends in the span of two years and it ripped us apart. You guys seriously did so fucking much without realizing, and whether you see this or not I want you to know that. I havent sobbed yet but I'm definitely choking down Canada dry at the moment just to stop from waking up my family and startling my friend next to me, but I definitely will be crying before I get to sleep after the stream. The way you spoke about Amy when she laid down in the coffin is so beautiful, its how I felt about Jess. She was the reason for my everything, and we worked together on everything. We had scripts, and plans, and character designs for a series four years+ in the making, and I one day hope to finally bring it to life and give new life to her in that way through her ideas and creativity that held no bounds. I never met anyone as creative as her, not even my boyfriend who's someone I think can't be beat in that sense as well, but not in the same sense of her.

Unus Annus wasn't just a video series, it was like it came out perfectly to keep me sane and help me carry on and understand how to cope and how to live with her memories alone. Its a coincidence, that just.

It just helped me find so much strength and keep me up and working and staying around, I'd never dream of taking ill care of myself but I also have so many days I just don't do what I need to do because I can't see a reason, whether its appetite, taking care of my physical health, cleaning my room, or even just washing my face or brushing my hair. Its just stuff that should be such an instinctual or subconscious action, is so hard it physically hurts to do it more than to just move along and keep moving without it. I was so unhealthy, and still am despite working on it, losing things is hard. But having the memories is both harder and so much easier, than having nothing at all. I wish I could say "reset the clock" and be part of that group just to pretend I can't let go, but oddly?

I'm glad to see it go. The progress I've felt just telling people its all what "needs to be done" since the beginning, I never saw till recently how good it was to just let go. And it's because it came after such a loss, and such an odd and eery coincidence, even coinciding a month after her death and, obviously, the year anniversary of her death. I was just able to let go, because how could I ever come to terms with something like that kind of loss if I couldn't be comfortable with videos being deleted?

A reset can bring videos back, yes. Just begin the clock again, easy as pie, go on ahead archivers-

But there's no clock that could EVER be reset for her. Her clock can't just begin again, I can't just call her or send her a message and suddenly she'd be back, so why should I say Memento Mori has to be Numquam Subsisto instead? Never stop is not realistic. Death is an unavoidable occurrence, loss is a building block, remembering life can only exist if death does, and vice versa.

Memento Huius Anni, Memento Vitae;

Memento Mori.

Thank you, Mark, Ethan, Amy, Evan, everyone. For making this past year better. Even if it was the same prompt my own mind had held all year after October 2019, whether Unus Annus existed or not to put it there like an earworm; Remembering Death held a different meaning despite the same thoughts. A different feeling. It held excitement and calm, rather than my pain and sadness. You guys are amazing, I can't say it enough. And one day I do hope to say it to you all in person, even if it's years from now (as it most likely would be, I'm not very popular on YouTube for a collab in the slightest, and I don't have to money to go to any big events you may go to).

I could say more, but I don't want to say anything else sad, goodbye or not. You guys gave such amazing support to me, even if its hard to believe at all, or you think this is fake and just an attention scheme, you guys are just the best. You're amazing people I hope to meet one day, and I'm glad to have watched and experienced this and got the support from you all.

I love you guys, all of you. Memento Mori. Unus Annus.

[shysweetthing]

I've been so impressed with the range of thoughts and feelings you explore with Yuuri in 'The Undiscovered Country', as well as how they are implied through Victor. As a beginning fanfic writer, I'm wondering how you plan it before you write it up? I know it's common to have a plot outline, but is there such a thing as an outline or map of the way detailed conversations or trains of thought will go too? I'd like to be able to put more detail in my own and would love some advice.

I do not plan anything before I write. If I published things as I was still drafting them, I would end up hitting a standstill and then I’d have to go back and change things. 

You can kind of look back through things I’ve said about this fic and figure that out. So, for instance, I think this is the first time I mentioned it: https://shysweetthing.tumblr.com/post/158333762845/things-i-am-doing

Note this particular gem: “Probably will end up something under 20K.” HA HA HA I guess I must have been referring to the individual chapters? That definitely worked out. Note that this was posted March 12th, at which point I’d been working on the fic for over a month.

Rest of this below the cut b/c nobody wants a lengthy description of process.

You also may have noticed that I changed what I called that set of instructions from Blueprint to Treasure Map–there’s obviously some thinking behind that change on my part which is at least partially evident at this point.

When I first started writing, this was my outline:

1. Yuuri gives Victor a set of instructions.

2. Reveal: This is the contents of…whatever it was Yuuri said.

I knew stuff would happen between the “oh no, I gave him a set of instructions” part and the revelation of what the set of instructions was. 

That gives me an arc–I know that they’re going to have to go from relative strangers who are attracted to each other to people who care for each other deeply, and interpolating between those data points tells me what the turning points/inflection points in their relationship have to be–becoming friends, beginning to trust each other with the things they haven’t told others, for instance. (Won’t mention the other inflection points because we’re not there yet.)

And then I try to figure out what outer events will push them into that friendship or pull them into that trust, how I’m going to make the emotional and physical intimacy ramp up believably, how the characters will develop.

I do this a couple of different ways:

(1) I write a bunch of crappy stuff that I end up deleting.

(2) I brainstorm scenes script-style and sometimes I have things that are great and sometimes they are terrible. I write these out by hand because I roll like that.

…so for instance, when I was planning out the breakfast in Sochi, that’s a snippet of what I was working from. I didn’t actually plan out the pretentiousness of breakfast until I started writing–it’s boring for me just write out something that I’ve already planned, and so my mind just entertained itself by bombarding Yuuri with shotglasses of blueberry soup while he had a hangover.

I do this and still have no idea where I’m going–I just have these turning points in my head and then I try writing them and sometimes it works and I think, yes, this scene is definitely in the fic and other times I try writing them and it falls flat and doesn’t work and I shuffle it off to the side.

At some point, I start filling in gaps between these scenes. When I have basically everything in place, I go through and do an edit (by hand) to come up with something coherent, where I finally figure out what the themes are and where they need to go and blah blah blah. At the end of that, I go through and make notes on the chapter: This is where they start, this is where they need to end, here’s why it doesn’t feel believable yet.

That’s the stage where I’m at right now–a hand-edited draft that has chapter-wise notes about how that chapter doesn’t quite yet fit into the overarching version I have in my head and what I have to fix.

So THEN what I’m doing to prep each chapter is (a) typing in my handwritten changes, (b) reading through and seeing how it fails to execute what I have in my chapter notes, and then © going through and fixing all that stuff bit by bit until I feel like I’m hitting the relevant emotional notes, before (d) trying to clean up the language and crap like that.

I wish I could do outlines and post chapters as I write them but that doesn’t work for me. I get my best ideas by writing, not by outlining, and my best ideas tend to be fic-level thematic stuff, and so if I did an outline and posted chapters concurrently, I would end up discovering in chapter 5 that the things I needed to have in chapters 1-4 did not end up in chapters 1-4.

So…I am a very bad person to ask for outlining advice, as I cannot do it. I can only pre-write fics to their conclusion and hope into the void as I’m writing that somehow, with the power of banging my head against the wall, it will all magically turn into a Real Fic.