#and yes hhh if you've read this before i did edit it a little

[portalhome]

Positive Self-Analysis Challenge

This tag game was started by @aelenko, and I was tagged by @cassiusnightingale! Thank you <3 <3 

Rules: Post an excerpt you are proud of, and talk about why you’re proud of it! pick out a few sentences and talk about why you like them/what you were aiming for while you were writing.

Excerpt: 

wip: tpom pov: alice triggers: allusion to violence, bear attack mention 

The group steps through the portal to find trees, densely packed and looming. They were the tall, pointy, green kind-- fir? Alice isn’t sure, but somehow she doubts she’d have confidence naming trees even with her memories. 

“Where are we going to go?” Kit asks the trees.

“As long as we keep moving, it doesn’t matter,” Seren says, setting off once again at a brisk pace. Kit groans.

Inna glances at the sun. “Let’s walk for a bit longer and then find a place to rest before it gets dark.”

Kit pales. “What exactly are in these woods that we should be afraid of?”

“What are in any woods that you should be afraid of?”

“Bears?” Addison suggests softly, like he thought they were looking for an actual response.

“This might be a stupid question,” Alice hedges, “but there aren’t any weird magical creatures out here that could rip our throats out, right?” She swallows. “Or, like, anywhere at all?”

“It’s theoretically possible someone could create something like that,” Seren says honestly— way too honestly— “but nothing like that would occur naturally.”

“But that would be expensive and weird, and no one ever would,” Inna says, grabbing Alice by the shoulder and edging her a little farther away from Seren like a parent who was worried about someone having a bad influence on their child. Alice grabs onto Inna’s elbow a little tighter than she might have otherwise.

“I think the main concern is bears,” Tristin agrees with Addison.

“Do bears even live here?” Kit asks. “What do you know about indigenous wildlife?”

“Do you even know where we are?” Tristin points out.

“No,” Kit admits.

“Pacific Northwest,” Seren responds easily.

“How could you possibly know that?” Kit challenges.

Seren points behind them, and Kit spins to see a sign that says, “WELCOME TO HARRIS BEACH STATE PARK! BROOKINGS, OREGON.”

“Oh.”

“There are most definitely bears here,” Tristin says in the most unhelpful way possible.

Analysis: 

The reason I chose this part is because it’s one of the bits that reminds me of the tone I’m going for with the wip; lighthearted group dynamics with a touch of underlying fear and tension. 

I think this excerpt also does a good job of showcasing each of the main characters’ personalities, even if they only have few lines of dialogue or a simple action. 

Inna’s protectiveness of Alice, Alice's general confusion but trust in the group, Seren being about 0.05 seconds from decking Kit, Kit remaining mostly oblivious to this, Addison being quiet but wanting to help, and Tristin’s calm attitude in the face of a stressful situation, I think! 

My favorite lines in particular are: 

“Bears?” Addison suggests softly. (I find this line really endearing, makes me remember why I love Addison so much. He’s just trying to help.) 

“I think the main concern is bears,” Tristin agrees with Addison. (I like this line because it takes a moment to shift the focus from the looming Main Conflict at this point in the story, namely the reason why they’re running away at all, to this smaller, mostly humorous conflict. The gang could easily deal with a bear if they needed to, but they’re still going to freak out about it.)

Seren points behind them, and Kit spins to see a sign that says, “WELCOME TO HARRIS BEACH STATE PARK! BROOKINGS, OREGON.” (This just always makes me laugh. Also, I really like the frequent setting changes, at least in part two of the book, I think that adds to the magical vibe. Portals galore!) 

Tagging - @mushwrites @you-are-my-neverland @lanawritesalittle @transboywriting if you’d like to! 

Also gonna plop the tpom taglist here (if any of you want to do this, please tag me!) -  @jcckwrites @incandescent-creativity @sunlight-and-starskies @pen-in-hand @writeflair @caelisis @livvywrites @moonypleasewrite @onemoredayofwriting  @idreamonpaper @jostencredible @4kidsopfan @vqctorcatala @fantasy-shadows @firesidefantasy @ofinscriptions @peachy-writes @eponinemylove @incoherentnerd @lids-writes @fae-hollow @aepreall @stand-inthe-rain @lovebenders @chazwrites @septemberliterature @scripturient-manipulator @aelenko @mushwrites @you-are-my-neverland @siennasophia-b @cloverwriteswords @ladywithalamp @lothlaurienwrites @musicofglassandwords