#tpom excerpt

[chronicowboy]

2022 writing review

so its 2023, so what? better to review a year with a little bit of distance methinks

tagged by @kitkatpancakestack hope ur 2023 is going well so far muah <3

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 42 oh lord

2. Word count posted for the year: 297,700 (mortifying)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 9-1-1

4. Pairings: buck/eddie

5. Story with the most: 

kudos: please? (can't say no) 1,220 kudos

bookmarks: the persistence of memory 386 bookmarks

comment threads: the persistence of memory 119 threads

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): ooooof i was gonna say the persistence of memory just because of the sheer word count and that i love the story but im actually really proud of my gilmore girls au all you have to do is call my name (i'll be there) because i wrote 40k words in under a week and for once i wasn't wondering about if people would read it i wrote it for me (and my beloved elke) honourable mentions to 1001 reasons to not get drunk with your sister's boyfriend and any of my ravi pov fics because they're silly but i love them all the same and my amnesia collection

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): hmmm probably we don't go through the glass doors because it was half-formed but i still posted it, i basically just saw that gif of peeta pressing his forehead against the forcefield for katniss in the jabberjay scene and i was like but what if it was buddie and yeah i just do not know why i posted it ig

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: any comments i've had saying that i should be a writer for the show makes me want to scream such as "this is soooooooooooo good!!!! its so perfectly and wonderfully devastating and heartbreaking and emotional and warm and soft. you write the firefam's dialogue SOOO WELL! they should add you as a staff writer tbh. ❤❤❤❤❤❤" on (tpom surefire way to make me happy is to compliment my dialogue and the 118 dynamics)

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: at the moment tbh i have so much uni work to do and an original piece of fiction im 200+ pages into and i'm trying to do all of that at once so the fic has fallen to the wayside a little

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: god this is really difficult and it definitely doesn't help that i can barely remember anything about my fics but um i guess character-wise its a surprise whenever i write taykay as an actual character rather than just a mention through gritted teeth lol but um scene-wise maybe just my whole albert pov fic what are you doing home? we thought you were babysitting just because its not something i'd normally write (eddie is only mentioned how uncharacteristic of me!!)

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing: oh god um i am so proud of lots of bits to my writing so i'm going to try to limit myself

just all of my surrealism weaved into 9-1-1, what's your fantasy? to kind of hint that buck's dreaming

the realisation scene in flatpack furniture and a djungelskog

"It'll be pretty cool, right?" Eddie's talking, but Buck can barely hear it over the static ringing in his ears. "To look at it and know that we made it together—"

You don't find it, son, you make it.

Its nothing special. Its nothing out of the ordinary.

There's nobody in this world I trust more with my son than you.

There's an Alan key sitting in his open palm, ever so slightly warmed by Eddie's hand.

I know you did.

Its nothing special. Its nothing out of the ordinary.

You two have an adorable son.

Eddie passes him tools at work all the time without him asking. They've suffered the telepathy jokes a million times.

Shouldn't it be when you're at your worst, they're at their worst, you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try again.

this scene from the only try day is wednesday because i originally hated this fic until i reread this moment

The picture catches the flames, curling up at the bottom corners, colours melting away and consuming Eddie and Christopher whole before finally, finally taking Buck too.

Because that's the thing. If Eddie is in there, if he's— Then that's what's going to happen. The fire takes Eddie first. Then, Christopher. Christopher who loses two parents and gets stuck with a Buck, a Buck he'll grow to resent because Buck's the reason Eddie was here in the first place, because Buck didn't save Eddie. So, the fire will take Buck finally.

And it will take him violently. It will ravage him, turn him to ash and sift it through their fingers until he's nothing but a few chunks of burnt bone. It will take him, consume him, ruin him. And he'll be dead, in every way that counts. He's already dying now.

Buck refuses to let it happen.

He'll die. He'll die before Chris can resent him because that would finish him off. Losing Christopher, losing Christopher to hatred and loathing, that would kill him. And that death would be much more violent than any chaos fire could wreak.

this scene in memory (all alone in the moonlight)

"Eddie, can we not do this?" Sighing, Buck looks up at the ceiling. "I'm missing five years of my life. I feel like shit. I really don't need you coming in here acting all weird."

Eddie lets out a breath and takes a step forward.

"What do you need from me, Buck?"

And, fuck, that question really shouldn't bring tears to his eyes, but. But Buck's spent his whole life being the one asking that question and now he doesn't even know the person who knows him well enough to ask it.

"I need my best friend." He whispers.

Eddie's face crumbles and he crosses the space between them in three steps, settling onto the edge of the bed and pulling Buck into his chest. Buck clutches at his Henley as he tries to compose himself, but Eddie's hand settles heavy at the base of his skull.

"Hey, don't do that." Eddie murmurs. "Just let it go, Buck."

And so, Buck breaks—for the second time in as many days—in a relative stranger's arms.

Eventually, when the tears have subsided and Buck finds the energy to be embarrassed about dirtying Eddie Diaz's shirt with snot and tears, he sits back in his bed and scrubs at his face.

"Thanks." He rasps.

"You don't have to thank me for that, Buck." Eddie offers him a cup of water and a handful of tissues. "I know you don't remember it, but we promised to have each other's backs and I don't plan on breaking that anytime soon."

"Fuck." Buck wipes at his eyes with the tissues until Eddie pries it from his hand and takes over for him, soft and gentle enough to have the tears springing to life all over again. "I really want to hate you." Eddie laughs.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: honestly just sheer volume of writing, for most of my writing life i was always so perfectionist and adamant that i couldn't move on until this one project was polished and perfect but this year i've written and written and written and let myself abandon projects and have rough first drafts yknow

13. How do you hope to grow next year: hmm idk really maybe just write even more and branch out a little in what i'm writing

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): @danielsousa my love, my heart, my rock!!!!! honestly probably wouldn't have written half as much if it weren't for elke cheering me on for the gilmore girls au and sending me screenshots of my writing that made her want to kill me

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: oh much i'm sure, i put myself into everything i write intentionally or not just because its such a personal thing for me but um in persistence of memory all the timeloop media references and agents of shield as i have always been reference specifically

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: read and write! nothing is ever going to help you as much as that. read fics yes, but read books and poetry anthologies and non-fiction! and write! write fic, write shitty poetry in your notes app, write short fiction, start a book. in the wise words of shia la boeuf JUST DO IT

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: ohhh okay so i have plans for two very big buddie aus an agents of shield au where fitzsimmons are technically henchim but buddie gets their romantic scenes, and then a national treasure au because i am a SUCKER for those films and chimney as riley is something that can be soooo personal

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: ummm just anyone who wants to do this?? feel free to say i tagged you because my brain isn't working!!

[portalhome]

Positive Self-Analysis Challenge

This tag game was started by @aelenko, and I was tagged by @cassiusnightingale! Thank you <3 <3 

Rules: Post an excerpt you are proud of, and talk about why you’re proud of it! pick out a few sentences and talk about why you like them/what you were aiming for while you were writing.

Excerpt: 

wip: tpom pov: alice triggers: allusion to violence, bear attack mention 

The group steps through the portal to find trees, densely packed and looming. They were the tall, pointy, green kind-- fir? Alice isn’t sure, but somehow she doubts she’d have confidence naming trees even with her memories. 

“Where are we going to go?” Kit asks the trees.

“As long as we keep moving, it doesn’t matter,” Seren says, setting off once again at a brisk pace. Kit groans.

Inna glances at the sun. “Let’s walk for a bit longer and then find a place to rest before it gets dark.”

Kit pales. “What exactly are in these woods that we should be afraid of?”

“What are in any woods that you should be afraid of?”

“Bears?” Addison suggests softly, like he thought they were looking for an actual response.

“This might be a stupid question,” Alice hedges, “but there aren’t any weird magical creatures out here that could rip our throats out, right?” She swallows. “Or, like, anywhere at all?”

“It’s theoretically possible someone could create something like that,” Seren says honestly— way too honestly— “but nothing like that would occur naturally.”

“But that would be expensive and weird, and no one ever would,” Inna says, grabbing Alice by the shoulder and edging her a little farther away from Seren like a parent who was worried about someone having a bad influence on their child. Alice grabs onto Inna’s elbow a little tighter than she might have otherwise.

“I think the main concern is bears,” Tristin agrees with Addison.

“Do bears even live here?” Kit asks. “What do you know about indigenous wildlife?”

“Do you even know where we are?” Tristin points out.

“No,” Kit admits.

“Pacific Northwest,” Seren responds easily.

“How could you possibly know that?” Kit challenges.

Seren points behind them, and Kit spins to see a sign that says, “WELCOME TO HARRIS BEACH STATE PARK! BROOKINGS, OREGON.”

“Oh.”

“There are most definitely bears here,” Tristin says in the most unhelpful way possible.

Analysis: 

The reason I chose this part is because it’s one of the bits that reminds me of the tone I’m going for with the wip; lighthearted group dynamics with a touch of underlying fear and tension. 

I think this excerpt also does a good job of showcasing each of the main characters’ personalities, even if they only have few lines of dialogue or a simple action. 

Inna’s protectiveness of Alice, Alice's general confusion but trust in the group, Seren being about 0.05 seconds from decking Kit, Kit remaining mostly oblivious to this, Addison being quiet but wanting to help, and Tristin’s calm attitude in the face of a stressful situation, I think! 

My favorite lines in particular are: 

“Bears?” Addison suggests softly. (I find this line really endearing, makes me remember why I love Addison so much. He’s just trying to help.) 

“I think the main concern is bears,” Tristin agrees with Addison. (I like this line because it takes a moment to shift the focus from the looming Main Conflict at this point in the story, namely the reason why they’re running away at all, to this smaller, mostly humorous conflict. The gang could easily deal with a bear if they needed to, but they’re still going to freak out about it.)

Seren points behind them, and Kit spins to see a sign that says, “WELCOME TO HARRIS BEACH STATE PARK! BROOKINGS, OREGON.” (This just always makes me laugh. Also, I really like the frequent setting changes, at least in part two of the book, I think that adds to the magical vibe. Portals galore!) 

Tagging - @mushwrites @you-are-my-neverland @lanawritesalittle @transboywriting if you’d like to! 

Also gonna plop the tpom taglist here (if any of you want to do this, please tag me!) -  @jcckwrites @incandescent-creativity @sunlight-and-starskies @pen-in-hand @writeflair @caelisis @livvywrites @moonypleasewrite @onemoredayofwriting  @idreamonpaper @jostencredible @4kidsopfan @vqctorcatala @fantasy-shadows @firesidefantasy @ofinscriptions @peachy-writes @eponinemylove @incoherentnerd @lids-writes @fae-hollow @aepreall @stand-inthe-rain @lovebenders @chazwrites @septemberliterature @scripturient-manipulator @aelenko @mushwrites @you-are-my-neverland @siennasophia-b @cloverwriteswords @ladywithalamp @lothlaurienwrites @musicofglassandwords 

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 24

wip: the price of magic 

today’s word count: 1090

total cumulative nano count: 22177

thoughts: heard a line from a tv show that made the tpom centers of my brain light up, wrote a scene in a daze and didn’t even end up using the line in it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and that’s called theft without actually stealing 

an excerpt from today:

Is he that easy to read?

“Yes, you’re that easy to read,” Seren says.

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 25

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 9110

total cumulative nano count: 50068 (I won nano today!!) 

thoughts: today I just. lived and breathed tpom lakjsdf

an excerpt from today:

“He told me what my price is,” Seren says. “He knew, somehow."

Addison is silent. When Seren looks at him, his eyes are wide with concern. “How could he possibly know?”

Seren shakes their head. “I don’t know.”

“It has to be a lie,” Addison says.

“No,” Seren looks back at the wall, setting their shoulders. “I tried it.”

“What?” Addison shifts so that he’s sitting next to them, feet dangling off the edge of he bed. “What is it? Are you hurt?” If only it were something as simple as blood. But then again, if it had been, Seren would have guessed it long ago.

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 21

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 1026

total cumulative nano count: 37032

thoughts: my second draft passed 100k today! and I mean that includes all of the scenes in my trash can folder but. still!! 

I also started putting together a set of questions for beta readers!! it’ll be a while before I put tpom out there for anyone who wants to read, but I’m nearing a point to show close friends/family and I’m !!!!!! a bitch is ready for validation after years of work alskdjfsf

an excerpt from today:

“Will you build a bridge between us that can never, ever burn?” 

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 8

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 1769

total cumulative nano count: 14364

thoughts: [evil laughter]

an excerpt from today:

A casting partnership wasn’t sealed with a shrug. Seren would have to mean it.

And then they would never be able to take it back.

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 6

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 1760

total cumulative nano count: 10769

thoughts: hhhhh yeah I wrote some good stuff today folks 

an excerpt from today:

“We’re just innocents passing through!” Kit shrieks convincingly. 

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 28

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 1773

total cumulative nano count: 53392

thoughts: >:)  

an excerpt from today:

“Yeah,” [Addison] manages, feeling his eyes sting with something he doesn’t want to name. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 14

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 1689

total cumulative nano count: 25284

thoughts: had a nightmare that served as inspiration for a scene so that’s fun and funky

an excerpt from today:

The wind may have been warm but it whipped furiously at Tristin’s cheeks.

“That’s it, then, huh,” Kit says. 

[portalhome]

nano update | day 9

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 2072

total cumulative count: 21,753 [44% of 50,000 | 27% of 80,000]

thoughts: Chapters 6 and 8: Addison Has A Really Bad Day. Yeah I feel bad about it. No I won’t delete it

an excerpt from today: 

Addison wants to tell her. He wants to say I’m special too and tell her that she’s not alone. But he knows that there’s a chance she’ll misunderstand the severity of the situation, a chance she won’t take his warning seriously. And if she forwards his secret to the wrong person, she’d be taking his life away. 

[portalhome]

nano update | day 19

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1667

today’s word count: 1759

total cumulative count: 41,098 [82% of 50,000 | 51% of 80,000]

thoughts: Passed 40k and officially finished up all the last bits of part one!

an excerpt from today:

“I have more than enough to spare,” Inna said quietly. It wasn’t boastful, it was mournful. The reason Inna was so powerful was because her friend had, in essence, died.

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 30

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1613

today’s word count: 1840

thoughts: things got DARK today lads 

an excerpt from today:

“You don’t need to be miserable,” his words echo in her head. “Actually, allow me be more exact: you don’t need to be miserable in every way. You can eat whatever you’d like, speak to whomever you’d like, and generally do whatever you’d like. I’m asking this one very specific thing from you, but I couldn’t give less of a shit what you do otherwise. I need you to be miserable only in one specific way, and the rest is up to you.”

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 1 

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1613

today’s word count: 2675

thoughts: Wanted to start a little daily nano diary mostly to keep myself both accountable and excited about my project! (Feel free to blacklist #lexi speaks if you don’t want to see them.)

Having to write the beginnings of a relationship I know will have to fail later was an interesting (heartbreaking) experience. But otherwise I wrote a lot of happy today! 

an excerpt from today: 

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 5

wip: the price of magic

daily goal: 1613

today’s word count: 1631 (can you tell I struggled today)

thoughts: Getting to a part where Addison is going to have a real tough time. :’( Pray for me (and him). Flying out to Orlando tomorrow for a conference so hopefully I can get a lot of writing done on the plane/during my layover! 

an excerpt from today:

(Seren’s lying. They’re always willing to Throw Down okay.) 

[portalhome]

THE PRICE OF MAGIC // MASTERPOST 

Thought it was time to put all of the tpom links, tags, and worldbuilding tidbits in one place! This wip is my main project and contains just about every ounce of creative energy I can muster. 

GENRE - ya urban fantasy, lgbt+, humor

STATUS - third draft in progress

SETTING - magic university, present day

FEATURING - a sacrifice based magic system / magic doorways and secret passageways / an emphasis upon platonic love / an overuse of the word fuck / a complete lack of cishet characters because I’m gay and I said so 

SYNOPSIS - 

Inna relies on Alice for magic. They're casting partners: a symbol of absolute trust, a bond that cannot be broken. When Alice wakes up with no memory of Inna or the world around her, Inna will stop at nothing to find out what happened to the person she cares about most-- even if that absolute trust is suddenly one-sided.

Addison knows that no one actually believes in "universal givers," those that can give magic to anyone and aren't restricted to their casting partner, and that's the only reason he's still alive. But when people like him start mysteriously disappearing, Addison knows he's in danger yet doesn't have a clue who he can go to for help. 

// Worldbuilding details, character bios, and links under the cut. // 

MAGIC SYSTEM - 

Magic demands a price from everyone. The larger the sacrifice, the larger the portion of energy given. But here's the catch: those who make the sacrifice are not those who receive the energy. Magic can only be given.

DEFINITIONS - 

casting partner (colloq. "right ring"); irreversible bond that allows the transfer of magic energy between the individuals, often signified by a ring on the right ring finger.

sacrifice (sometimes "magic sacrifice" or "gift"); quite literally the "price" of magic, varies by individual. inherited from either biological parent. common examples include blood, money, sleep. sacrifices can be passive or active.

active sacrifice; requires direct action on the sacrificer’s part. example: money. to sacrifice you must discard/destroy your own funds. 

passive sacrifice; requires only intention by the sacrificer. example: memories. to sacrifice you must purposefully and willfully offer up the memory you are willing to lose and it will be taken from you. 

universal giver; mythical individuals who are able to gift magic to any other individual. (this differs from the norm, in which magic can only be gifted to a casting partner.)

CHARACTERS - 

Inna (#c: inna) - she/her - aroace - [sacrifice redacted] 

Alice (#c: alice) - she/her - bi - sacrifices memories 

Certified Mess (TM). Just wants to figure out what she wants to do with her life. Casting partners with Inna. 

Easygoing, quiet, sweet. Education major. Resident badass. 

Addison (#c: addison) - he/him - bi - sacrifices his relationships (active)

Non-confrontational, scared of most things. Music student. 

Seren (#c: seren) - they/them - bi - sacrifice unknown (orphan with no knowledge of their lineage) 

Always ready to fight. Magic student. Fierce and loudly opinionated. 

Kit (#c: kit) - he/him - gay, trans - sacrifices honesty 

Always brimming with energy. Nosy and loud. Casting partner and boyfriend to Tristin. Theater student.  

Tristin (#c: tristin) - he/him - aspec gay - sacrifices sleep 

The calm to Kit’s storm. Patient, level-headed. Wants to learn as much as humanly possible. Physical science student. 

LINKS AND TAGS - 

taglist (like/reply to be added)

wip tag is #wip: tpom

fanart found in #art tag

excerpts filed under #tpom excerpt

posts featuring all six main characters filed under #c: the gang

ship specific tags are #ship: addiseren and #ship: triskit

wip ppt intro

wip page (desktop only) 

wip playlist (film/game scores that give me The Vibes)

character intros 

setting intros

worldbuilding posts

Thank you for your attention! I’ve never put more time, energy, and love into a single project before and I’m so excited to share it with others! 

[portalhome]

camp nano update | day 1

wip: take evangeline (first time I’ve put something that’s not tpom in my nano updates and I’m emotional abt it) 

daily goal: 1613

today’s word count: 1653

total cumulative nano count: 1653

thoughts: everything I wrote today I wrote between 12:00-12:30am alskjf the fatigue hit hard when I actually woke up for the day. but I still met my goal! 

also if anyone else is doing camp and is interested, here’s a link to the spreadsheet I’m using to keep track of my progress. feel free to make a copy if you want something like it. 

an excerpt from today: (first draft’s first line!!) 

Evangeline’s home was a wretched place.