#and you can't seperate longing and hunger in your mind

[kh-hyperfixation-blog]

I want it....

[cawing-creator]

Touch starved Alucard hcs

TW : brief mentions of r@pə and abuse

He and touch starved? Pfff, never! Or atleast that's what he thought.

Atfirst, he really doesn't like the thought of being touched. Because no matter what, it reminds him of some of his darkest moments in his entire life.

The r@pə and abuse he endured, left him despise physical touch, especially if it's by strangers.

If you were to suddenly hug him, the only thing you'd notice is how incredebly stiff he is.

It would take alot of trust and time for him to admit that, so he needs you to be patient and understanding

It would start very slow and subtle

When he is in a room with you, he would start to feel this weird tug on his heart

Atfirst he himself doesn't realize what this means. Have his feelings for you just gotten stronger? Why does he feel like he's being dragged to you when you're around? Why is his mind drifting to you? Why is his body seeking your company?

It makes him overthink and also distracts him from his work. Because even when you're seperated, his mind drifts to you.

Because he can't really afford making a mistake, he decides being a bit closer to you should do the trick.

Spoiler Alert: It doesn't!

It infuriates him because being close to you just isn't enough. If anything he feels this weird hunger stronger than before.

Even when he stands directly beside you, shoulders almost touching, he can find himself wanting something. He doesn't exactly know what it is, but he craves it.

The moment where you touch his arm, either to praise him for a job well done or to ask if he's alright with that concerned look on your face, would be the moment where he'd finally connect the dots.

He craves your touch, your warmth and wants to hold you in his arms. But his past and trauma holds him back.

After a long talk you suggest to start introducing physical touch slowly, to ease him into it. Should it ever be too much, he can always stop it.

It starts with a gentle hand on his arm to praise him, linking pinkies when you walk trough the mansion, carefully getting something out of his hair.

Alucard is in love if he wasn't already before.

Whenever you touch him, you're always so gentle and careful, as if he's made of glass and could break any moment.

Slowly but surely, he'd start to give you physical affection in return

Caressing your back, while his hand still lingers a few seconds before he pulls it back.

Starting to play with your hair, letting it feel between his fingers.

Linking arms and holding hands in the long hallways.

Once he surprised you with a backhug. He was almost towering above you, as he pulled you close.

Touch is for Alucard a big sign of trust and comfort, which is why he likes to give it to you and you specifically. Tho he prefers when nobody else is around.

He deeply appreciates your help in him finding comfort and warmth in something, he originally hated.

Hope you enjoyed it! (=^_^=)

[border-spam]

Leech Lord - Eridians, Sirens, and the great Destroyer

The Eridian empire was vast, timeless, and completely insular. Their species had watched hundreds of others crawl out of backwater planets over the eons and race headfirst into extinction shortly after, so hairy little pink monkey bipeds that made irritating noises and had gross soft bodies didn’t exactly hold much interest for them. 

Their only real interactions with the system’s humans were with the Siren hosts who were drawn to Nekrotafeyo over time, women who’s energy hummed in the same melodic frequency the Eridians used to communicate, and they would have been more than happy to keep it that way.

Incredibly technologically advanced and so long lived that they would seem immortal to lesser species, they were completely unchallenged in their total dominance of the Galaxy... and still would be if they hadn’t fucked up so badly. 

Big ol’ lore post under the cut, baybeeee:

Siren Song = They just vibin, man. 

It's the constant, endless sound the great powers make. They are alone in that place of other, floating through the endless dark of eternity, so it's not a form of communication or an attempt to reach out - it just is. It just exists in the same way the Siren entities always have and always will.  Maybe they aren't even making noise and the song is just how human brains translate the information they are taking in? Who knows. Not really any of our business anyway.

It reverbs through everything linked to them, so eridium, Siren hosts, Eridian architecture and ruins? They all sing, it's just that most can't hear it.

Pandorans can over time because they live so close to the greatest reservoir of eridium that exists, and it is screaming under their feet. The problem is that once you start hearing it? Well, you can’t really go back.

All Siren hosts are drawn to Pandora not because of what their brain tells them, not cause they want riches, or to make a name for themselves, or to be a Vault Hunter, they are drawn there because it feels like home. Somewhere in the back of their minds, in a part of their brain they can’t access, the song is still singing.

Eridians = Ancient insectoid race of space farers. Cool guys. Really good at poker, terrible at charades.

Through a mix of technology and natural affinity to the great Sirens, developed premonition (future thread sight) and warp travel (colonised a huge amount of planets). Communicated through a chittering song on a frequency inaudible to humans. 

It was similar enough to the hum Siren host’s emanate that they tolerated the women’s confused pilgrimages to their home planet, drawn by the melodic lure of the eridium and the Eridians themselves.

Eridium = Crystallised Siren-Entity energy from their plane. Purple. Sings if you know how to listen to it, tastes like fried pickles.

The Eridians naturally as a species were able to tap into the great power's plane and siphon energy from it, which fueled their entire civilisation. The great Siren Entities did not give a shit about this, they don't about anything in general, it was infinitely replaceable and in no way harmful to them for the Eridians to extract. They wouldn't even notice, really. They don't exist on the same cosmic fuckin' reality anyway.

Eridium sings in resonance with the entities’ song, it's part of them in a very roundabout way, and that’s why Siren hosts can consume it to boost their Siren’s manifested powers.

Destroyer =  The great Eridian fuckup. Don’t blame it though, it would rather just go home.

When your species has developed premonition that’s almost entirely accurate bar when trying to predict Siren power touched outcomes, it’s easy to get overconfident. If everything always works out in your favor, risks feel less dangerous, and holy fuck did these giant cricket dudes take a stupid risk.

Time made them greedy, and ego made them dumb. As their civilisation spread and power needs grew exponentially, they developed machinery to siphon eridium into physical crystals instead of using their own innate abilities, and eventually decided to open a direct link into the Siren Power’s realm. An umbilical that was meant to allow a constant flow of power and increase harvesting, but instead released something terrible... 

For real though it's only a lil guy. The “Great Destroyer” is just a parasite, a bug. Another being like the Siren entities that’s native to their plane except minute in comparative size and power. It's a gnat, a tiny flicker of life that harmlessly swam through the Siren song and consumed energy, till a group of insectoid arseholes ripped it out of it's own reality and into a very shitty one. 

It's confused and pissed, so it does what anyone would do in its position.

It starts eating.

Great extinction = Eridians have fucked up so badly they decide the best plan is to just mass kill themselves out of pure cringe so they won’t have to deal with being laughed at by shitty little monkey bipeds. 

The umbilical was designed to siphon from the Siren power’s plane, never to push something back. The Eridians understandably brick themselves as a race once the problem with this becomes rapidly apparent. The Destroyer is running rampant, consuming everything in its path and growing in size exponentially. Their weapons only seem to feed it more, and it’s being attracted to what it knows - eridium and the song it hums. The energy that fills their cities and resonates through their bodies is now a death sentence.

Their planets have been decimated, and the monster’s sights are set on Nektrotafeyo next. Cue Nyriad and her huge, sexy brain.

Siren hosts have always been attracted to Eridian planets. Their bodies reverberate with the same song despite the huge differences between the two species, just like the eridium that fills their cities. It’s an involuntary lure across the dark of space for women who already feel isolated and removed from their own planets.

Nyriad had been on Nekro for some time before The Destroyer was released - enjoying a friendly if mildly frustrating relationship with beings that saw her as a shitty little monkey biped who was slightly better than all the others because she had rad tats and made a noise they like.

It was her that raised the idea to GLUT this thing into naptime by feeding it the energy it was being drawn so desperately to, and to surround it with eridium after.

...but it was the Eridians who raised that the greatest concentration of that energy was within them.

Billions sacrificed themselves to the beast’s hunger, Nyriad crumbled under the of weight of so many deaths she felt truly responsible for, and it slipped into a great slumber.

Pandora is not a cage, it's a cradle. The Destroyer sleeps surrounded by the sensation of being where it belongs, no longer lost or afraid as it dreams from within the Siren’s song.

Eridians leave = Goodbye bugs, thanks for pretty much nothing.

There were plenty left after the great sacrifice, but they left the system not long after it was completed. 

Whether it was a “Ah fuck, sorry” response or they saw something horrific coming in the future is up to debate, but they left a long, long, long time ago. 

If they had seen something terrible on the horizon, then it either ended up not happening or they left the system a HELL of a lot of time before it was due to. Then again, they couldn't see Siren touched futures, or The Destroyer would never have been accidentally fished out of the nether.

Maybe they will come back some day, but it’s likely the only contact humanity will ever have with Eridian civilisation is through the ruins of what they left behind, and the constructed guardians that defend it so viciously.

The maddening = The great psychosis that ripped across Pandora and whispered insanity into the minds of those abandoned by the corporate wars.

29 years before Borderlands 3 starts, The Leech Siren entity is freed after millennia of rotting alone in a cell. Removed from the song, torn from the others,  half in and half out of the plane it should exit in, it's lost. It’s frightened, it's desperately lonely, and in its panic to find a host ends up split into two, torn between seperated bodies it never wanted in the first place.

Its song joins the chorus, and the sound is horrific. Broken, distorted notes, sharp and flat in all the wrong places, a cacophony of screeching voices and sounds impossible for human brains to comprehend. 

It rips across Pandora's hum like a distortion, and its madness locks into the minds of all those poor, innocent people who'd been around eridium long enough that they could hear the melody without even realising yet.

Pandora goes mad, Bandits screech of the great maw, the all-seeing eye, and Leda Calypso soothes her broken twins.

Phew. 

So, nutshell?

In my Leech Lord AU, all eridium screams in confused song - half The Leech's distortion, half the rest of the entity's melody.

Sirens are drawn to Pandora, not because of whatever reason their logical mind tells them, but because it’s the only place in the Universe with such a concentration of the energy that’s part of them - part of the great powers themselves.

Each Siren host hums with their own sound, Troy and Tyreen differently, like 2 parts of the same broken voice overlapping and crackling. 

When together, they harmonise... and that's why their streams are so deadly. 

That's why they skyrocketed to the level of intergalactic fame they did.

Like, Follow, and Obey.

...it's not the Twins who are saying it.