#and you're like. jesus fucking christ. explains so much. mildly disconcerting how much stayed the same though.
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The Doctor needs one of those classes they give to expecting/hopeful parents but for humans. Get their ass enrolled in a parenting course. And everytime they get a new companion he has to retake the course.
#doctor who#dw#the doctor#inspired by the deleted scene of her just pushing amy out of the tardis doors into space#while amy was having an anxiety attack. YOU CANNOT DO THAT!#they have access to all of time and space the doctor has to be able to find a human parenting/caretaker course#bonus points if he ends up taking one for human children.#imgine youre travelling with the doctor and he leaves and comes back one day and says they enrolled themself in a human management course#and youre like 'oh thank god finally'#and then she just starts bubble wrapping the entire tardis and locking off entire rooms and giving you coloring sheets and stim toys#when you get bored#and starts taking you to like. fucking parks to play with other humans.#and starts carrying like fucking snacks like lunchables and shit everywhere and giving them to you at regular intervals#and you're like 'hey what the fuck.'#and you ask them what the hell they're doing and you find out they were learning to care for human TODDLERS.#and you're like. jesus fucking christ. explains so much. mildly disconcerting how much stayed the same though.#and so obviously you ask 'do you see me as a child?' and the doctor is like. ah. interesting question.#you know what else is interesting. OOOOOOO TELETUBBIES LETS LOOK AT THE TELETUBBIES OOOOOO EDUCATIONAL GAMES OOOO!!!!#LOOK AT THE SMALL HUMAN ON THE SCREEN WHICH PAIR OF SHOES MATCHES THE DRESS??? CHOOSE FAST!!!!!!#this could also open the door for an amazing bit though#where you start doing all of the same things back to the doctor and it works even better on them than it did you.#turn their ass into an ipad kid. they start arguing too much put his ass on minecraft pocket edition.#she just sits there for 1-3 hours. dead silence. you walk over like. 'hey. um. you good.'#no answer. you look ove rher shoulder. she has recreated ancient rome in minecraft in exact replica and is the reigning emperor.#they are roleplaying the roman senate with sheep and villagers. okay. can you please save the world now. please.#this is not to infantilize the doctor. he is old as shit. they are an adult. but by god can they be easily entertained.#not to mention that a key factor of the doctor IS their eternal childishness.#but they ARE a fully grown adult. beyond that even. ancient 'were you alive to see the dinosaurs grandpa?' ass motherfucker.#they are just also a masive loser. who would love minecraft pocket edition and lunchables. probably. who doesn't though.#bangers
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