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#imgine youre travelling with the doctor and he leaves and comes back one day and says they enrolled themself in a human management course
wormshirt
·
3 months
Text
The Doctor needs one of those classes they give to expecting/hopeful parents but for humans. Get their ass enrolled in a parenting course. And everytime they get a new companion he has to retake the course.
#doctor who
#dw
#the doctor
#inspired by the deleted scene of her just pushing amy out of the tardis doors into space
#while amy was having an anxiety attack. YOU CANNOT DO THAT!
#they have access to all of time and space the doctor has to be able to find a human parenting/caretaker course
#bonus points if he ends up taking one for human children.
#imgine youre travelling with the doctor and he leaves and comes back one day and says they enrolled themself in a human management course
#and youre like 'oh thank god finally'
#and then she just starts bubble wrapping the entire tardis and locking off entire rooms and giving you coloring sheets and stim toys
#when you get bored
#and starts taking you to like. fucking parks to play with other humans.
#and starts carrying like fucking snacks like lunchables and shit everywhere and giving them to you at regular intervals
#and you're like 'hey what the fuck.'
#and you ask them what the hell they're doing and you find out they were learning to care for human TODDLERS.
#and you're like. jesus fucking christ. explains so much. mildly disconcerting how much stayed the same though.
#and so obviously you ask 'do you see me as a child?' and the doctor is like. ah. interesting question.
#you know what else is interesting. OOOOOOO TELETUBBIES LETS LOOK AT THE TELETUBBIES OOOOOO EDUCATIONAL GAMES OOOO!!!!
#LOOK AT THE SMALL HUMAN ON THE SCREEN WHICH PAIR OF SHOES MATCHES THE DRESS??? CHOOSE FAST!!!!!!
#this could also open the door for an amazing bit though
#where you start doing all of the same things back to the doctor and it works even better on them than it did you.
#turn their ass into an ipad kid. they start arguing too much put his ass on minecraft pocket edition.
#she just sits there for 1-3 hours. dead silence. you walk over like. 'hey. um. you good.'
#no answer. you look ove rher shoulder. she has recreated ancient rome in minecraft in exact replica and is the reigning emperor.
#they are roleplaying the roman senate with sheep and villagers. okay. can you please save the world now. please.
#this is not to infantilize the doctor. he is old as shit. they are an adult. but by god can they be easily entertained.
#not to mention that a key factor of the doctor IS their eternal childishness.
#but they ARE a fully grown adult. beyond that even. ancient 'were you alive to see the dinosaurs grandpa?' ass motherfucker.
#they are just also a masive loser. who would love minecraft pocket edition and lunchables. probably. who doesn't though.
#bangers
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