#and your fake coffee smells like weird soy sauce and diet coffee??? wtf no I will not be having any | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fractallogic · 2 years

Text

Help! My Husband Only Wants to Work, Nap, and Join a Gym on our Ten-Day Vacation in Vancouver

…but like, seriously, those are the things he suggested for today, the day after it snowed almost a foot overnight, and where my car is stuck in its parking spot at the Airbnb because I can’t get enough traction to get it out

My dear, ONE of your suggestions was a good one for today and then you napped through when I expected to be able to take a bus to the science museum and then to the grocery store and then back to the Airbnb like a normal person’s vacation and like we wanted to do, so now your alternative is… let’s go to the gym, go to a cafe to do work, or hang out in a mall until we want to eat dinner? Oh no. No no no no. Bab. There are better things that we can do even when the entire city is full of snow (which is also largely shoveled and melted from pedestrian paths, by the way, because it’s a beautiful sunny 40 degree day!!)

ALSO I HAVE PRESENTS FOR YOU IN THE CAR and it has been SHOCKINGLY difficult to get you to want to open the PRESENTS that I have IN THE CAR FOR YOU

#also how do you propose to get to the gym because I am not letting you drive my car in the snow #when you white-knuckled your way through being a passenger yesterday after dinner when the car was slipping and sliding a little bit #and you don’t understand the concept of ‘if it’s slippery we might need to push the car to get it out’#and you’re NOT going to walk like two miles to the gym #and you don’t fully understand how buses work #anyway. we’re going to teach our favorite Saudi How to Winter #stay tuned #also I forgot he’s doing his insane diet stuff which is also where the gym comes in #I will go play tennis with you but I draw the line at going to the gym #and your fake coffee smells like weird soy sauce and diet coffee??? wtf no I will not be having any #I love you but damn

3 notes · View notes