#and zenos's character esp bcs man. he's a great character

[astrxealis]

big fan of zenos tbh

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Guess who finished Stromblood ✨

Anyways, I love me some characters with beautiful dead blue eyes~

Also some feelings abt Zenos under the cut bc I do be having ideas

He's honestly very interesting to me, and I find him very unique among villains. Like he doesn't hate WoL, in fact he calls us his "first friend." He fights for his own pleasure, which is really cool to see amongst the sea of villains fighting for vengeance or for what they perceive as right- but not Zenos. He fights to feel something. Zenos fights to feel the high of battle. He really is a monster. I do kinda think it's his dad's fault because he shows no remorse for his son's death and states that a monster is not fit for the throne and honestly that solidified him for me. A villain living and fighting for nothing but the thrill of battle is just super poetic for me. We are his friend, his equal, and his greatest rival because we are the only one who can compare. Eikon slayer, hero of Eorzea; the Warrior of Light is the only one who can give him that thrill.

Makes me wonder how he developed this thrill for battle. Throwing himself into increasingly dangerous situations to feel the rush of adrenaline from a good hunt. He's what, 26? Has he been this way since he was a kid? Or was it something he fostered as he got older and served in the Garlean army?

Anyways now onto the shippy stuff-

I'm gonna say it right now, but Elysia is one order away from being a bloodthirsty murderer. Killing gods has given her something of an ego- and honestly if it weren't for the Scions and the Alliance puppeting her around she'd be little more than a monster herself. She's vain, prideful, and a little selfish at times. She has little left to live for, and not much to return to.

So in a way, her and Zenos are similar. They both have major daddy issues lmao, but that aside, Elysia also seeks an equal. Eikons are all the same when they die, and no mortal has every really measured up to her.

Also while drawing this, I realized Zenos has little demon wings on his armor that contract Elysia's angel theming perfectly. Hehehehe it's just soooo juicy. Esp because Elysia isn't exactly an angel herself- she's kind of a piece of shit but she often tries to hide it behind her charms. So I think it would lead to this interesting dynamic of Zenos wanting to see her truly unleash that beast and be the rampaging piece of shit she is and Elysia trying to keep that side of her under wraps because he doesn't deserve the satisfaction of seeing her true self.

I can see the twisted potential of them being together- Zenos utterly obsessed with finding his equal and Elysia being more than happy to have yet another man wrapped around her finger. Reasoning be damned, she just likes the attention and appreciates the fight. They would be... an interesting power couple.

But at the same time, I did say that they were similiar and in some fucked up way I think they would find comfort in each other. Now they definitely operate under the "I can make him/her worse" logic but it's comfort nonetheless and anything is better than whatever the hell Zenos was raised in so yeah. If they were to be more genuine though, I don't think I see them being in love with each other. I think Zenos would confuse all the adrenaline for affection in the above toxic scenario, but I cannot see him actually being in love with her lmao. I think Zenos x WoL kinda needs a morally sound WoL to be a somewhat functional relationship and Elysia is... definitely NOT that girl lmao.

I think they would be great friends actually. They kind of balance each other out. Zenos "hehehehehe violence, carnage bloooodddd" and Elysia being all "okay yes but let's be subtle about it." Also I think more than anything, Zenos needs a friend to get his shit together like love will NOT fix that man. Not that they would try to fix each other, and that's the beauty of a friendship. They're both just kind of existing and understanding each other.

My fix for this is the Eorzea Academy AU where Zenos is still yk crazy and whatnot but Elysia is his keeper lmao. Like "Sorry abt my dog" and it's Zenos bullying the freshmen or smth lol.

[dillydedalus]

september reading

there is literally no way it is september. impossible. anyway this month we have  horror, Fake Dating, the rashomon effect, a time war, and most importantly, no neutrals to be found anywhere

the old man & his sons, heðin brú (tr. from faroese by john f. west) published on the faroe islands in 1940 and the first faroese novel to be translated into english, this is a story about the dramatic shift in life style during the 30s on the faroe islands, from hardscrabble subsistence farming/fishing to market economy. interesting look at changing life on isolated isles, and a much lighter (and shorter) take on the stubborn autonomous subsistence farmer than laxness’s independent people. 3/5

the white shroud, antanas škėma (tr from lithuanian by karla gruodis - english/claudia sinnig - german) a modernist, fragmented, nonlinear novel about a lithuanian poet gone into exile, now working as an elevator operator in a new york hotel, who is involved with a married woman but might also be terminally ill. in between the present timeline, the book flashes back (both in the character’s own writing and in third person) to his youth in lithuania, his torture at the hands of the soviet regime, his time at a DP camp in germany and so on. quite interesting, with some great writing. 3/5

things we lost in the fire, mariana enríquez (tr. from spanish by megan mcdowell) really good collection of horror-ish short stories that also touch on gendered violence, child abuse, poverty and argentinian history (esp. dictatorship and disappearances) - some stories are more overtly horror, with clear supernatural elements, others are more ambiguous. i don’t read (or watch) horror stuff so i’m a bad judge of how scary this is - i found it more gruesome and upsetting than terrifying, but the dread is strong in this one. favourites: adela’s house (hungry haunted house), end of term and the title story (women & self-inflictred violence), under the black water (the poisoned oil-choked river is very bad but maybe.... there’s something worse in there). good, vividly gruesome, sharp sharp sharp. 3.5/5

axiom’s end, lindsay ellis i really like lindsay ellis, of all the ~youtube video essayists~ she’s probably my favourite and this book a) has a cool premise - aliens + conspiracies + alien communication and b) a really cool cover, and it’s lindsay, so i was super excited for this one. and it would be unfair to say i was disappointed with it; it’s a fun first contact romp with really good pacing, cool aliens, on-brand lindsay ellis humour and some interesting ideas on communicating with someone who is truly alien and incomprehensible. it’s fine! i enjoyed it and will definitely read the sequel, it’s just... i was hoping it would be AMAZING, and it just wasn’t. no huge problems (except for a few lines i would have liked to take a red pen to), just.... it was fine. 3.5/5 

zeno’s conscience, italo svevo (tr. from italian by william weaver) imagine you’re a businessman in trieste who does a little unsuccessful writing on the side and one day you decide to take english lessons to improve your business opportunities with the uk and your english teacher is JAMES FUCKING JOYCE who tells you that you need to keep writing. incredible. anyway these are the autobiographical notes of one zeno cosini, a hapless hypochondriac smug self-delusional fool, who just cannot quite quit smoking, marries the one sister out of three he least desires, & works as an accountant (for the man who married his most-desired of said sisters) despite his rather tenuous grasp on bookkeeping. my favourite scene is when his future sister in law (2nd most desired) complains lightly about her difficulties with latin, he tells her that he believes latin is a man’s language and even roman ladies probably didn’t actually speak it, only for her to correct him on a latin quotation. i will say tho that this book is way to long to maintain the endearingness and often drags. 3/5 tfw u write for an audience of one but that one is james joyce so fair enough

der hund/der tunnel/die panne, friedrich dürrenmatt dürrenmatt (in addition to having a cool-ass name) really fucking slaps!  his stuff is really good, and often really really wild. these three stories are all weird & slightly existentially scary, two degrees left of reality, and just. so interesting! we have a man stalking a street preacher and his monstrous dog, a train going through a tunnel for way too long (and it is very scary), and a man becoming involved in a pretend-trial (or is it) and becoming convinced that he actually is a murderer (or is he, really?). anyway, dürrenmatt.... slaps. 4/5

wow, no thank you., samantha irby a mix of memoir and comedy blogpost and social critique blogpost about growing up poor & black, dating while fat, chronic illness, and settling down in rural america. it’s fine. i haven’t read irby’s previous collections so maybe i’m missing that emotional connection, but i thought it was mostly...okay?? not especially funny imo & i prefered the more serious chapters of which there weren’t enough. 2/5

they say in harlan county: an oral history, alessandro portelli really impressive oral history about life in harlan county, appalachia, focusing on the labor strikes and conflicts in the 30s and 40s, but really exploring life and politics in the region from the first non-native settlement there to today. really interesting, sometimes inspiring and often infuriating and probably worth reading if you’ve ever listened to which side are you on. 4/5

rashomon & other stories, ryunosuke akutagawa (tr. from japanese by jay rubin) fun fact: if you read the short story “rashomon” expecting to get the, y’know, rashomon effect, you won’t get it bc the film actually takes its plot from the story  “in a grove”. anyway this is an interesting collection of classic japanese short stories, many of which are actually about unreliable witnesses/narrators. i particularly enjoyed “in a grove” and the truly disturbing “hell screen”, but found this particular collection just a bit too long. 3/5

women without men, shahrnush parsipur (tr. from farsi by kamran talatoff & joceyln sharlet) a magical realist feminist novella about 5 women in iran who all try to liberate themselves from men in one way or another, more or less successfully (one of them turns into a tree, another becomes undead), until they end up in a semi-utopian garden together for a time. disturbing in its depiction oppression and sexual/gendered violence. i don’t really know how i feel about it, but it’s a really unique and interesting reading experience; very fraught and ambivalent in the end. 3.5/5

take a hint, dani brown, talia hibbert i think this is the first actual pure genre-romance book i’ve read... in years??possibly ever? idk. anyway this is mostly a pretty fun & sweet story about ambitious & emotionally constipated phd student dani brown and security guy with tragic past zaf ansari, who begin a fake relationship for Various Reasons (as you do) and both develop Real Feelings (as you do, predictably). it’s mostly really enjoyable but man i’m really not used to Romance writing & it’s a lot. in the end everyone is very genuine & earnest & emotionally honest which.... not to be even more emotionally repressed than dani but i cannot deal with that. anyway given that 2020 truly is the gift that keeps on giving this was a fun fluffy delight & i might  read more from the series. 3.5/5

this is how you lose the time war, amal el-mohtar & max gladstone two agents (red and blue) on opposing sides of a time war (the futuristic techy Agency vs the eco/organic Garden - neither of them is Good or Bad exactly) start writing letters as they hunt each other through the strands of time’s braid and eventually (inevitably) fall in love. really interesting concept of time travel and different timelines (if, like me, you conceptualise past as down and future as up, this will trip you up so much), very lyrical writing that sometimes toes the line to overwritten but mostly really works. 3.5/5

DNF: the madman of freedom square & the iraqi christ, hassan blasim (tr. from arabic by jonathan wright, german tr. by hartmut fähndrich) bindup of these two short story collections about iraq. these are incredibly brutal, depressing & horrifying stories about a country in a constant state of war & struggle. couldn’t bear it, probably not ever & certainly not right now. 

allegro pastell, leif randt (audio) this is brilliant, bitingly funny novel about a millenial couple, tanja & jerome, and their on-and-off long distance relationship. they are privileged (and half-aware of it), attractive, successful, very in touch with their own feelings (couldn’t be me), self-reflective, faintly ironic in everything bc sincerity might be cringe, and you will hate them. these are people who perform their feelings rather than feel them, dissect all their opinions and impulses to the point of both paralysis and narcissism, engage in constant navelgazing and cannot form any relationship that isn’t based in constant evaluation and judgment. they pride themselves on their nonconformity but are really the greatest conformists of all, and the most square, boring, spießig people under the veneer of their urban liberal drug-and-club lifestyle. had so much fun with it even as i was constantly cringing at these people. 4/5

[softshouyous-archive]

do yona!!!

AHHH HELLO LOVE THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! i smiled so much when i saw this ask last night thank you for enabling me hehe (under a read more because i . am very chatty today JFLKG)

haven’t heard of it | absolutely never watching | might watch | currently watching | dropped | hated it | meh | a positive okay | liked it | liked it a lot! | loved it | a favorite

don’t watch period | drop if not interested within 2-3 episodes | give it a go, could be your thing | 5 star recommendation (please it’s so funnie, there is amazing chara dev, oh no i forgot my last point gfjg) (the manga esp is so amazing omg thank you miss kusanagi)

fav characters: yona: she is SO strong god i . god i love her sososo much i’m tearing up just thinking about her hjkgdfhgfjdhg her chara dev is SO amazing oh my god. if you watch the first episode and then read one of the most recent chapters you’d just be stunned at the difference . i love my queen i was going to go on some more about my other faves but this would get Long so i’ll just list them: the four dragons, yoon, and lili least fav characters: gogi (goji??) and perhaps the king that they’re facing off rn, i forgot his name jkghgdfjghffav relationship: hak and yona and hak and jae ha GDFJLKGJ they’re so dumb gdjksgk OH and yona and lili fav moment:omg okay honestly my memory of yona is like . super bad esp since i sped read it like . maybe a year or two ago gdfjkghdfg so i forgot a lot, though i plan to reread soon hehe (~: i actually reread the arcs where lili appeared and wow

like okay first . yona saving lili from that guy who was on nadai??? drop kicking him and then turning to lili to ask if she’s all right??? please that was really cool.... and also like. i really love how lili saw yona and was inspired to change because of her??? like she realized her own flaws/insecurities once (?) she saw yona’s strengths and was like shit dude??? when she realized her flaws i feel like, hm how to say gdfjghjf yona’s strengths helped her improve in the areas of herself that she was unhappy with?? that just makes me feel . so warm like. wow . gjdfksgjfkd but yeah she wanted to change things > her dad wouldn’t let/help her > and she was also. really scared?? but i feel like seeing yona’s displays of courage really helped her be more brave !!!! for ex, when they were staying at the inn where the guy responsible for nadai was at, yona put herself out there and protected lili and tetora. lili questioned yona’s actions and asked if she was scared and said that she wasn’t strong. yona pretty much agreed with those things but was like ‘even though i’m scared, i have to protect you both’ (or smth) and just. wow . that really. Does Something you know??? and i just love yona so much for that she’s so admirable like putting yourself out there even though you’re scared??? i..... h. and wow i’m really going off track . i feel like that all really fueled lili’s next actions of taking the golden water seal and making all those decisions for the better in order to try to get rid of the nadai. if i remember correctly, even though she was scared and knew of the repercussions, she still went on because of the courage she saw yona had and because she really cared about her nation and i just !!!!! fuck man !!!!!!!! she’s so strong and that made me so happy to see that she wasn’t held back by her fears and that she was willing to sacrifice things for the better like . god man . 

and i just love their friendship besides that like when they hung out in the tent and just their convos are so fun!!!!! i love that yona is lili’s first friend like i think that’s so cwute ))): i would die to see an ova or an extra story of just them hanging out and having fun like god i really love their bond so much like every time they’ve had to part i get so emo like no please stay together T___T and i also really love that they’re both figures ??? of royalty in some sense idk why i think it’s kool gkjdghfdoh and that guy who tried to kill yona after they were exiled, his chara dev was great i love and appreciate that gjkfdhgjf

headcanons/theories: oh BOY i WISH i had some ugh but my brain and its lack of creativity ://// oh wait hm maybe i would like to think that hak one day is able to move on and receive some sort of closure from what soo won did ???? like i completely recognize that it’s super hard to recover from what happened ://// like god his. anger from when he first saw soo won again???? like zude . i feel like that was illustrated vvv nicely but it was also so sad to see how mad he got bc it just means that he’s hurting so much you know ))): like his anger and pain was so strong that it was so difficult to hold him back ))): 

hm i like to think that the night of when that happened, yona just sits with hak outside and he just starts talking about his feelings and yona is just there listening because hak doesn’t really talk about his feelings )): he usually  keeps the Cool and Strong front for Princess Yona but those feelings are bound to come out one day, and that day was after seeing soo won again. he goes on about how it felt to see him again and you know about how he just felt so betrayed and hurt, about how ‘i refuse to believe that the gentleness we were shown was fake’ (as said by yona but i like to think that hak feels this way too) and i just feel like that makes it so much more painful because. you have someone who was your childhood friend who was really nice to you and who you had a lot of fun with. then one day they turn around and suddenly take the life of someone very important to you. you want to hate this person and detest them and lock away any memory of them, but it’s hard because you have fond memories of them, they were a good person to you. so then it’s like how do you feel??? i feel like it leaves them feeling vvv conflicted and torn. and it’s just so. heartbreaking to hear hak express his feelings like this esp because she can Feel his hurt. they’re sitting side by side and it’s dark with Minimal moonlight but she can still see the slight tears ): she can’t hear him crying because he’s talking normally and masking it somehow gjdkfhgjf but she gently puts his head on her shoulder and takes his hand and i die unpopular opinion: hm i sadly don’t see that many akayona opins in general so i don’t know :/// oh hm one of them may be that i don’t really like soo won??? gdjkghf like i’ve seen some people say they like hm... and i honestly don’t know how to feel??? i’m trying to pay more attention to his character during my reread and right now i’m Conflicted because . you know gjdkfghdfjgf but hm he is interesting thoughhow’d you find it: OH boy so i have a friend who i watched anime with during my last year of hs and she recommended that we watch yona!!! it was sososo funny omg the anime is so fun!!!! i really loved it and decided to read the manga and oh Man am i so happy that i did because it shows way way more than the anime does and it’s SO good SO amazing i love

random thoughts: zude i feel SO sad for zeno ))): okay before i go into it, first can i just say. the fucking TRAUMA of everyone seeing his power for the first time???? when he got cut up and got his HEAD cut off ???? like miss kusanagi did not hold back with that and showed it i gjdghj and god yona’s expression when that happened like the HORROR on her face i . even though he ended up being okay, i don’t know how someone can recover from that trauma you know???? of seeing a loved one get their head taken off like that??? like god....

but anyway onto my point gdjfklgf i feel so sad for him because of his immortality )))): like he’s going to go through his life meeting and bonding with so many people that he’s going to eventually lose )): as he goes through out his life, he must get sad thinking about the people who he’s lost and how he can never talk to them again no matter what. he carries these memories of loved ones and i think that SUCKS i would literally just want to die i don’t think i can deal with a loved one dying, and for that to happen again and again forever???? like..... zude 

also jae ha is so stupid i love him