#anywaaaaaaaay- I MIGHT make another- happier post- detailing my theory

[bistaxx]

Actually I don't think I'm gonna publish that post afterall, half cuz I don't wanna rewrite it and half cuz judging by the posts I've seen a lot of people have already said what I was going to anyway- so here's a condensed version- and this is mostly just me getting some stuff out of my system tbh lol

I still really do not get why the server didn't close down for longer/do a hiatus, it just genuinely seemed like the most logical solution from every angle: a financial one, a burn-out one, a reconstruction one, and to strengthen credibility and trust- instead they just kept things going again as soon as they could and it just felt so careless and so cruel to the employees who'd been let go with no explanation or those left in limbo unsure if they still even had a job or not. It also was just not fun at all watching a server that felt like a soulless zombie-shell of it's former self.

I get needing to let go of the egg admins- I'd much rather say goodbye then have them strung along underpaid/not paid at all solely because fan loves them and they rake in views.

That said I wish the goodbye streams were better planned and it's a bitter feeling knowing some of the eggs won't ever get to say goodbye

Somewhat related to above, what Cherry (Em's admin) said on stream REALLY does not give me any hope that this new team will be any better then the last- At the very least I'm glad Cherry has the other former admins and Bagi there to support her.

same goes for the twitter translators who were canned and replaced with AI- like I can get those teams being cut because those roles were imo a LOT to ask out of an employee and not sustainable- it's the way they went about it that leaves an extremely sour taste in my mouth and makes me worry that there could be more fired employees who were treated similarly.

I still really do not know how to feel about the reset especially since we don't know anything about it- Common thought seems to be it is happening on the 24th which like...first of all why is this happening so soon why are you so obsessed with rushing back into things stop it- second of all... I just don't know if I feel comfortable sticking around for it cuz like I said above right now I don't feel like I can trust this new team not to repeat the same shit the past one did (and I'll most likely miss it anyway since I work that day of fucking course LOL)

I don't hate this project, I don't want to root for it's failure, I don't want it all to fall apart- I wanted it to get better- I'm critical of it because I wanted it to be better for everyone. I'm beyond devastated with how this turned out, all the wasted potential from every angle just eats me up inside, I truly thought things were going to get better. A naive hurt part of me is always gonna wish that things do get better and maybe somehow the stories I loved so dearly will somehow come back... but that is such copium lmao

I'm probably still gonna lurk around because I love the community on here and because I am morbidly curious to see what they're gonna do with this project next... I don't think I'll watch personally, but I'll keep up with the liveblogs. I stopped my queue awhile back cuz I felt so bad about the server and everything, but I'm gonna reopen it soon. Even though I still feel too bitter rn to look back on it all fondly I still want to support a talented resilient community that deserved better.

I wish I could feel better about it all, but I'm not gonna waste time getting my hopes up.