#anyway i dont usually write fluffier fics so i hope this turned out right

[a-place-to-come-back-to]

The telephone

(an attempt at writing something lighter for a change. accidently wrote the whole thing in one afternoon so do let me know if you catch any mistakes)

“Mr. Toad sends you both a gift,” the rabbit butler announced with an air of importance after Mole opened the door for him. He was holding a box in his paws that Mole was almost suspicious of. “Oh! Well, that’s nice of him, I suppose,” Mole replied. He reached out for the box but stumbled to the side as the rabbit pushed into the house. “My instructions were to install this immediately,” he informed as he set the box down and began to open it. “Install?” Mole questioned, closing the door uncertainly, “I... Ratty will be back soon, maybe you ought to wait a bit,” he tried. The rabbit unpacked the box swiftly. “Mr. Toad said it was ideal if Mr. Rat was not at home,” he said politely, pulling a telephone out of the box.

“Is that—oh, dear,” Mole murmured, and sent a glance out the window. He knew his friend would be back from his morning row soon, but he was at a loss of what to do, and wished that he would hurry.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked the rabbit hesitantly. The other animal shook his head and Mole nodded awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to another before eventually deciding to sit down. After a few minutes he heard the familiar scrape of the boat outside and he breathed a sigh of relief. “You should’ve come along today, the way the sun bounced off the water was—what on earth?” Ratty cut himself off as he entered the room and saw the rabbit and the box. “It’s a gift from Toad,” Mole informed him, “I think it’s a telephone. I’m not sure what to do about it.” Ratty blinked a few times. “What? No—no!” He wrestled with the butler for a moment before shoving him away from the wall. The rabbit insisted that Mr. Toad had been quite clear in his instructions to deliver the phone. Ratty told him just where he could deliver it. “Ratty!” Mole scolded, trying to not be impressed at his friend’s extensive vocabulary. Ratty at least had the presence of mind to look slightly guilty, but Mole doubted he regretted what he had said. “Shall I deliver that message to Mr. Toad, sir?” the poor rabbit asked uncertainly as Ratty shoved the telephone back into the box and at the other animal. “No!” Mole exclaimed, at the same time that Ratty declared, “yes!” “Ratty!” Mole scolded again. If he had ever been caught using such language, his mothers would wash his mouth with soap, and he could only imagine the trouble he would be in were he to give someone a message like that. How Ratty had such guts to do such a thing would have been admirable in any other situation. “Yes, by all means, deliver him that message,” Ratty snapped, shoving the confused and slightly frightened rabbit out the door, “he’s had it a long time coming at any rate, so he might as well hear it sooner rather than later. Have a nice day!” The way he yelled the last part as he slammed the door did not make it seem as though he actually wanted the rabbit to have a nice day at all, but rather wished him the opposite, and was unable to say such things due to the unspoken rules of curtesy. Mole had no idea why he would even make an attempt at being polite after what he had just heard come out of his friend’s mouth—he didn’t recognize a good portion of the words, but it had been a healthy mix of Undergrounder swears mixed with what he assumed were Riverbanker and maybe even Wild Wooder swears. He fought back a smile as he wondered if Toad would even understand half of them, and instead leveled his friend with a disappointed and scolding look as the rat sat down in his chair with a huff. “He had it coming, you have to admit it,” Ratty said, trying to defend himself. Mole said nothing, but kept his gaze steady. Ratty huffed again and opened the newspaper with more force than necessary, trying to hide himself from that look, but Mole persisted. Ratty all but squirmed in his seat as the gaze seemed to bore through the paper, and after a few minutes he threw the newspaper down with a sigh. “I’m sorry, alright? Is that what you want me to say?” he asked, an almost desperate tone climbing in his voice. Mole tilted his head to the side in mock-consideration, unable to resist messing with his friend just a bit more, but quickly dropped the charade when he saw Ratty’s leg begin to bounce anxiously. “Thank you,” he said simply, and picked up his book. Ratty rolled his eyes and returned to the paper. Mole waited a beat or two before adding, “I think you ought to apologize to Toad as well.” “What?” Ratty sputtered, “no way in—I’ll think about it, I suppose,” he muttered sullenly as Mole looked back up from his book. Mole wasn’t able to hide his smile this time, and Ratty groaned, a smile appearing on his own face against his will. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he accused, throwing the newspaper at him. Mole caught it with a laugh. “Well you can’t blame me, can you?” he said as he leaned over to deliver the paper back, “but I really do think you should apologize to Toad.” “I think he deserves it,” Ratty protested, “he sends his staff into my house to try and tear up the wall to put that thing in, and all it will do is ring day in and day out.  Just because I’d have a phone doesn’t mean everyone else who has a phone would need to call it, but that’s exactly what would happen. Besides, anyone I want to talk to is within reasonable walking distance, and I haven’t got any relatives elsewhere that would want to call.” The matter seemed settled at that, and they each returned to their reading. “I do wonder if phones can be installed underground,” Mole wondered aloud after a moment. Ratty glanced up from the paper and pondered the question. “I don’t see why not. Why do you ask?” There was a bit more than a twinge of anxiety in his voice. “I was just thinking it might be nice to put one in my mothers’ house,” Mole said quickly, eager to banish any worries his friend might have about him leaving, “I think they might think it nice if they could call me once in a while. They aren’t much for leaving their hole. I suppose I should visit them soon, I’m not sure they know that I moved in with you, and it’s been a few weeks now. I suppose I ought to let them know,” he mused. Ratty let out a short laugh. “Moley, it’s been just over six months,” he informed. Mole blinked at him a few times as he grappled with the information. “Just... just over six months?” he asked in bewilderment, part of him hoping that he had misheard. Ratty nodded, laughing again at the perplexed look on his friend’s face. Mole stared across the room blankly. “Ratty,” he said after a moment. “Yes, Mole?” “I think I am about to be grounded for a very, very long time.”