#anyway i'm just vaguely whining no advice is being requested ty : )
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roblox death noise
#vigo's pancreatitis is better now btw#he's bounced back really well and i cannot overstate my relief#but the entire ordeal and vet bill broke me#*i* haven't bounced back from it#like i've already been shouldering a lot and that made me snap lmfao#so i've just been like moseying along day to day waiting for the evening so i can go back to sleep#talking takes too much energy. so does just. yk. emoting like an average ass person lmao#i feel like terrible company. idk#cant draw cant write cant exercise can barely walk my dog#and i hate it b/c it feels like i'm fishing for excuses#ive had therapists tell me i'm very self-aware and i dont mean that in a 'i got a good grade in therapy' type of way LMAO#but in the 'if i know then i know then why am i here spinning my wheels and boohooing' type of way#like despite my own bad habits i wanna consider myself a person who has at least some hope and ambition#but i've just been super like done. lmaoo#but lately i just cant. i cannot envision a future for myself. not w/ the way things are.#these are things that *should* be independent of me but aren't. so i get roped into taking care of things.#over and over and over and over again. for over 10 years LMFAO#anyway i'm just vaguely whining no advice is being requested ty : )#xangoeswah
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