#anyway learning experience but I had an absolute shitty fucking november-early decemeber until my horse moved

[deadinsidedressage]

Boarding Update: New Digs & Lessons Learned 

Well, November to early December was an interesting time for Mitzy and I. 

Out of the blue one night during the beginning of Nov, my (now former) BO came up to me and told me I needed to find new boarding for my horse. That was a massive shock to me as my understanding of how our time there had been going didn’t give any indication we had anything remotely close to an issue. I’d not personally had any issues handling my horse and hadn’t heard of anything from the BO about her or her husband having a contrary experience. I had also explicitly written into my boarding contract that I wanted to be told of any difficulties in handling her so that I could address those in my training sessions with her. I had asked on countless occasions “Oh, how has Mitzy been for you guys?” and been told resoundingly how great she was.  /dnr

To then be told my horse was no longer welcome and that she’d reportedly been dangerous to handle was a huge slap to the face. I could hardly form a coherent thought at the time but did ask “How long has this been going on and why wasn’t I told earlier?”. Well I get a “We don’t tell boarders every little thing that their horse does” as a response before she launches into how apparently my horse was also destroying fences. I’m out there nearly daily, at least 6 days a week, and had never seen the fences in a state of disrepair. Maybe the chicken wire was bowed out a little, but that’s about it. Again, I ask how long has this been happening and why wasn’t I told. Allegedly “the whole time” and she’s tired of “fixing things my horse breaks”. If my horse was dangerous, I should be told immediately. Considering I’ve not had any issues leading my horse or handling my horse I’m not sure what I would’ve done to “fix” the behavior but I would’ve done something. Even if that something was only offering myself to personally do turnout for her. If my horse is damaging fences to such an extent, I should be told. I would’ve been happy to pay for fence repairs & offer my labor as well. 

The more information I try to get the more the picture is coming together of my horse not being the issue (thank God). “Well you know how difficult she is to halter”--- no, my horse self-halters. “You know how she can be”--- no, I know my horse to be extremely easy to handle on the ground for a 2 year old. “Well since Fendi freaks out, she’s been galloping around, rearing, and bucking when it’s time to go in for dinner and she reared up on my husband when he tried to halter her today since I grab Fendi so he can get Mitzy and bring her in at the same time”--- your not a horse person husband is who has to go and get a 2 year old who is amped up by another frantic horse? After you’ve assured me that you or the girl in your employ would be the people to handle my horse since I was concerned about that? That seemed like a sound idea in your head?

I can’t discount the fact that all it takes for a situation to be unsafe is for the handler to feel it’s unsafe. If they’ve decided my horse is dangerous for them to handle then it doesn’t matter how she handles for myself, my friends, or experienced horse people. She’s dangerous for them. She self-halters if you stand at her side, but sure she’ll freak out if you come head on. She’s extremely easy to handle, but if she spooks it’s big and you need to not get scared of that. Or if she’s being feisty you just need to be confident in shutting it down and know how to handle a hot horse. She’s a 2 year old decently hot WB who recently shot up in size, it doesn’t matter how comparably easy she is to other 2 year old WBs if you’ve never handled one before. 

So, knowing I couldn’t necessarily get her out immediately I offered a few solutions. A) Keep her stalled 24/7 until she moves or B) I can take her out in the morning and bring her in at night. “Keeping her in won’t fix her attitude.” Oh... so there’s the rub. There’s a fundamental misunderstanding in how we view horses and handling them. It’s not just unsafe for you to handle my horse because she’s big and you’re unfamiliar with hotter types, you believe in dominance theory and will hurt yourselves thinking you can be more stubborn than a 1200lb horse. Well, I can bring her in and out then. “She’s only a problem in the evenings.” Okay... well I will have her back in her stall everyday by this time. “I mean if you’re there that’s fine, but we can take her in.” ...Is this a horse you’ve labeled dangerous or is it not? Are you not kicking us out because you don’t think she’s safe to handle or not? 

Well... luckily I secure new boarding pretty quickly but unfortunately it takes 3 weeks to move her. Not because that’s when the stall was open but because I’ve never had the opportunity to trailer train my horse. Takes three weekends of trying to get her in a trailer, hiring a shipper so we can get a bigger trailer, some dorm gel to take the edge off, and a literal crew of people to essentially walk her in a foot at a time. In the meantime, before the stars aligned and she finally went in a trailer, I am bringing my horse in before dinner and dealing with increasingly hostile behavior from my (now former) BO and some of the other boarders! 

The whole situation has been absolutely bonkers to me because when I shipped her up to this facility I was under the impression that the BO was confident handling young horses. For the longest time everyone would love on her whenever they saw her, always calling her “the baby”, and the BO’s husband in particular would “smuggle” treats to her throughout the day (encouraged by me honestly). Retroactively, I can now see that at the point my horse sprouted up about a hand and had gained a deal more fitness from all her in-hand work... suddenly she was avoided like the plague. I also don’t understand why at no point was I told they had concerns handling my horse, especially around dinner time. I would not cared if my horse came in an hour early everyday so that they didn’t have to compete with the other horse that’s problematic to bring in. Which personally would’ve been the solution that was apparent to me as someone who has worked at a few barns. I also don’t understand how the horse who is a little too hyped up being brought in at dinner is somehow a worse horse to board than the _other _horse who gets crazy at dinner but also needs to be hobbled every single night so she can be stalled (otherwise she does her best to literally bring the walls down). If you’ve found a solution for that horse’s issues (bringing her in first & then hobbling her) then why is there no solution for my horse? 

Had I know my horse was being handled by the BO’s husband at a point where her behavior is likely to be less than predictable I wouldn’t have been okay with it. I would’ve volunteered myself to bring her in if it wasn’t possible to simply have them bring her in early. I’d already repeatedly asked to know when the BO was gone at a show so I could bring my horse in from turnout because I did not trust a non-horse person with my 2 year old. No matter how well behaved I think she is, she needs someone who knows horses. 

As far as issues with other boarders, they certainly was a contingency of people who seemed to purposefully slam the crossties into the wall when I was in the arena because it would spook my horse. Or similarly see that something was spooking my horse, make eye contact with me, and keep doing it. One woman very plainly made anything she did take about 3 times longer and be 10 times louder than normal if I was trying to work my horse. Notably suddenly choosing to pick out her horse’s paddock (the barn doesn’t do that and I was the only person who they’d ever had who’d asked if they could do that) while I was having some success loading & making such a ruckus that we lost all progress we’d been making. Was it everyone at the barn? No, but there were a few people being very pointed in their behavior and I think it legitimately came down to ye olde Western vs. English superiority complex. Since clearly I should be punished for my 2 year old not being dead quiet like all the semi-retired Quarter Horses. 

I think honestly, that’s the entire problem of why we ran into this. This was never a boarding facility I intended to work long-term, I wanted to move Mitzy in the Spring to the barn she’s at now... but I think it ended prematurely comes down to the discipline clash. I think the BO, her family, and the boarders who are her personal friends just have extremely different expectations for how a 2 year old should behave than what I do and what the people I work for do. It’s still standard for AQHA/APHA/AHC to not only have horses under saddle at 2, but to be in a pretty rigorous show schedule (futurities require horses to be started at 18mo). A lot of people think TBs/QHs/QH types mature “faster” than other breeds. The way I’ve learned to regard young horses and the industry standard I accept for starting young horses doesn’t view 2 year olds as adults. Nor are 3 year olds treated to the same stanard as say an 8 year old. Do I absolutely expect basic ground manners and developing in-hand skills? Yes, but I also anticipate 2-4 year olds to be unpredictable! So I’m never surprised when they try to jump out of their skin when a leaf falls too close to them. 

I am trying to see this as a learning experience and I think what I’ve learned from this is you really, really need to be compatible in your approach to expectations and handling as your boarding facility (no matter how temporary you plan for that situation to be). There are a lot of glaring issues with the magic of hindsight that point to this being an inevitable conclusion. I am really glad with where she’s at now! She’s at a dressage training/lesson barn that she’ll go into the program there once she starts under saddle. For now I’m just happy to be at a place where I can relax and enjoy my horse again--- plus I can take lessons at