#anyway rice is delicious btw if u even care

[flatstarcarcosa]

[gun slide noise]

ME!AU RAPID FIRE:

*abarahm resident over powered biotic. vanguard. heavy reliance on barrier+charge plus has done some incredibly illegal mods to his service shotgun. concussion rounds+experimental incendiary that blows you open and burns you out from the inside. you're better off getting slammed. the van brunts are also like, the closest thing to royalty the alliance has which means he's even more arrogant and egoistical than regular canon because he has never, at any point, had to deal with the fallout of anything he's ever done.

*i cannot stress to you enough this man's response to ichabod saying "abraham we can't do that, it's a war crime" is "only if there's batarians left alive to tell anyone". he doesn't even have a good reason to dislike batarians outside of alliance propaganda and like. blatant racism, if i'm honest. man is not remotely empathetic enough to actually CARE what any of them have done he just Craves Violence.

*and speaking of, ichabod. infiltrator, squishy as fuck counterpart for abe's tank but it's fine because he's in, done with the mission, and out before anyone knows. (if he's....yknow. not with abraham. that is.) he's also, for some reason, basically the only person that can stand to be around abraham for any length of time, likely because they ended up in basic together and just kinda clicked despite differing personalities.

cutting bc there's a lot, rapid fire or not-

*one of the things i put a lot of effort into back when this was a thing i did on the RP blog was making abraham and shepard's stories mirror each other, if not entirely, in a lot of ways. abraham was the original poster boy, and he was actually the first line draft pick for human spectre.

*it doesn't come to pass when a mission goes tits up, and he nearly dies. family name and money catches the attention of cerberus, who slide in with promises they can fix him, like, totally, we prommy. he does get fixed, he gets top of the line cybernetic implants and in the end it's nothing some PT can't fix.

*except oops! mommy and daddy van brunt stupidly trusted the known terrorist organization because they were more interested in making sure The Family Legacy went the way it was supposed to! and now their already OP son is infested with fucking reaper tech no one knows about!

*the injuries abe sustains when he almost dies includes a TBI. the TBI has the fun little side effect of actually interfering with the indoctrination from the reaper tech. lots of notes in abe's recovery with him commenting about buzzing/humming noises no one else seems to hear and "i swear to god my teeth itch".

*abe's first mission once cleared for duty ALSO goes tits up because harbinger tries to awaken what's supposed to be the best little sleeper agent Its ever Had only to find out the fucking sleeper agent is defective. it begins an ongoing battle where harbinger is constantly trying to outright control abraham entirely, but it doesn't always work.

*he officially gets listed as MIA--POSSIBLY AWOL

*ichabod and abraham's plots revolve around everyone lamenting that the alliance golden boy just cracked under the pressure and couldn't cut it, with ichabod sincerely believing that's not the whole story. "abraham is an arrogant ass, he's not an unhinged coward" is repeated quite a lot.

*abe and harbinger's back and forth for control means sometimes he loses. sometimes harbinger is able to make the indoctrination work and operate him like a fucking meat puppet from dark space, and that fun little TBI that causes the back and forth also means he's completely aware the whole time it's happening.

*eventually he notices a pattern in that getting his shit rocked (ie more brain trauma) tends to shake harbinger loose, which results in one encounter with ichabod and abe where he tells ichabod 'the next time you find me trying to kill you, aim for my head'

*basically a lot of it is the concept of like. Worst Guy You've Ever Known Finally Faces Consequences except. it's also one of those stories where at a certain point you're no longer thrilled by these turn of events, you're kind of uncomfortable. it seems less like comeuppance and more like watching someone slowly get fed into a meat grinder for no reason.

*which. remember the early concepts for saren and tim where the reaper tech was slowly eroding any organic parts of them? yeah. yeah he's not having a good time.

*abe also ends up targeting cerberus when he's controlling his own mind, particularly when he finds out they were only able to save shepard because of what they did to him. feels a lot like being the test run.

*which leads me back to shepard and abe having mirroring stories. in the end the reaper war ends and they're both dead, but only one of them is remembered.

*abe's death takes place during me3. i never got as far as plotting the details but it was always meant to be a last ditch "fuck you/ i'm not what you made me" type thing. there's also a smidge of suicide by sacrifice to it, because again, he was already dying because of the reaper tech and just. was so goddamn tired. it's shades of vega as well in like, what he does is very big and very good and saves a lot of lives (ichabod's included) but it's. just that shepard was already elsewhere, doing bigger things.

*after ichabod gets cleared after abe dies, he basically gets a "tyfys here's your next posting" and asks what about abraham which is met with "what about him?"

*ichabod then starts demanding abe's status get changed from MIA--POSSIBLY AWOL to killed in the line of duty along with a posthumous commendation of valor. i'm thinking he gets a call from hackett about joining the crucible project and agrees, but on one condition, mostly because the idea of ichabod yelling hackett down is kinda BDE if i'm honest.

*also of importance: abraham being a whole ass home of sexual whose also big brained enough to be like "actually asari aren't women so yes i can fuck them despite being gay"

*and finally if he ever found out aria t'loak fucked mordin and not him he'd blow up afterlife and everyone in it