#anyway. my hyperfixation is theia<3
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Am I doing good? No. But am I happy? Yes.
#get ready with me while I talk about the psychological effects of cannibalism!!#cannibalism is weirdly something I've discussed a lot for someone who gets nauseous after eating it#through when it's RAW then it's a completely different story you see.#the forbidden yum yum.... sigh#anyway!!!#new fandom hhyperfixation AND new style development.#i can't see if it's socialization that's making me better or dissociation. probably the first tho#hmm anyone thinks i can autism my way out of studying? pretty please???#i'm so stressed about reconciling with like. 3 people. i am so scum actually but at least i have a reason.#i mean; i'm doing ok. yes i've picked up sh again buuut ehhhhhhhhh#also. recently been thinking about my name. i love it actually#i love it i love when people say it i love that#they may butcher it a bit so that it is not what i'm used to. i love it when it's shortened and when people shorten it even more#i love it. i'm so proud of it. my identity may be completely different from what i think of this name but i am in love with it honestly.#it means. SO MUCH to me. i'm actually so emotional about it.#my identity is different my whole being is different but little me is another person with the same name. i stil use it.#came up with it on the whim because of dysphoria. pretended to be the gender i wanted to be.#i think those years were beautiful. i cried so much and was abused but i think the fleeting moments of happiness held me together#i love you blue i love you sasha i love you max i love you kis i love you soup i love you rin i love you fish i love you sun!!!!!#i love you all!!!!!#i love people i'm gonna cry. they're not in my life anymore but my love for them is hidden behind a veil of trauma and me forgetting them.#anyway. my hyperfixation is theia<3#i'm cosplaying rick. she's a planet i'm her future baby daddy what's not clicking.#the last tag is A JOKE i prommy i won't fuck the moon#spiral talks#CORRECTION I JUST. NOTICED I SAIT IT INSTEAD OF MEAT WHEN TALKING ABOUT CANNIBALISM#I AM NOT A CANNIBAL I ASSURE YOU
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