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Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 46

Egwene dispenses justice and completes an arc

Chapter 46: To Be Forged Again

Patiently? In the fires of pain?

After crossing the bridge to Tar Valon as a victor, the day nearly became a blur for Egwene.

I hate this sentence construction because it happens all the time but if you look at it closely, the subject of the sentence is ‘the day’ rather than ‘Egwene’ which implies that it was the day that crossed the bridge to Tar Valon as a victor.

(It’s also one of those things where, once you’ve learned to be annoyed by it, you start seeing it everywhere).

Egwene is being instructed in the protocol of Amyrlinification and I’m getting a strong sense of déjà vu, while Egwene herself is getting a strong sense of what it means to be a fictional character with a nicely bookended arc.

“I was raised by the rebels, Siuan,” Egwene said sternly. “These women deserve the chance to stand for me as well. Otherwise, I will never have a claim to their loyalty. The ceremony must be performed again.”

Also, in times of chaos and disaster and uncertainty, there’s often a very compelling form of comfort in falling back even more on traditions and rituals that provide a structured pretence of normalcy and certainty. There are rules to follow and they all know the script and when everything else is falling apart, that feels like a safe harbour. And right now, that’s not something to be discarded lightly—especially when it’s a ritual surrounding the elevation of someone to leadership and power. They can’t afford even a hint of instability now, or the slightest crack in this façade of tradition, not when the Tower itself is cracked and nearly broken. This is something central to who they are, and to alter or abandon it now would risk shattering what is left.

It’s important to know when to do something radical, when to throw out the rulebook, when to shock everyone and push for change…and when to take a step back and permit tradition and allow the dust to settle.

“Once I am finished with the ceremony, I will greet them and formally accept their apology for their rebellion and welcome them back into the Tower.” “Accept their apology?” Siuan asked incredulously.

“They rebelled against the Tower, Siuan,” Egwene said, looking at her. “Whatever the need of what they did, there is reason for apology.”

“But you were with them!”

“I no longer represent just them, Siuan,” Egwene said firmly.

It may seem harsh—or even absurd—but I think Egwene is actually being very wise here.

Because this is a victory, but it cannot be a victory for one side over another; it must be a victory for the Tower. This has to be a case of the Tower victorious over its own near-destruction.

So combine that with the notion of falling back on tradition and ritual and formality in times of chaos and uncertainty and a formal apology and pardon seems very appropriate.

It’s a way of providing closure, of acknowledging what has happened and drawing a clear, official line under it. Of ritualising and formalising the end of the division, and the distribution of responsibility. They are all responsible, they all have to swallow some pride, they all have to come together on as close to equal footing as possible, and clear the air between them as much as they can, if they are to fix this. It can’t turn into an ‘I-told-you-so’ or a ‘but-you-started-it’ between them.

It’s a balancing act. And I think formalising as much of it as possible, and using the Tower’s own traditions and structures to help bring everything into balance—understanding that she must be raised according to the usual protocols, requiring a formal apology from the rebels even though she was one of them—is a very good way of going about it. She’s basically going ‘here are all the things that each side does or could feel wronged by’ and formally addressing those things, because while it’s not going to fix all those problems, it undercuts their potential to fester and grow into bigger problems later.

Put less formally, it’s like when you have to hold two siblings apart and put the toy in the middle and make them both apologise to each other (‘sorry for what?’) and accept each other’s apology and maybe each say one nice thing about the other.

“I will acquit them, and we can get on with healing.”

It absolutely is just a formality, and she intends it for that purpose. She’s not trying to rub their noses in anything, and she’s not deliberating over whether to acquit them or punish them or something else; she’s just very aware that there are some steps that need to be taken in order for healing to be possible, and crossing the t’s is a good way to start. It lets them get on with the genuine parts.

“The Tower needs to know that the rebels regret the division. They needn’t lie and say that they wished they had stayed, but I think it is appropriate for them to express sorrow over the hardships the division has caused. I will acquit them, and we can get on with healing.”

That, basically. It’s a reframing of both the victory and the conflict—not as one side against another, but as the Tower against this division and strife, which they can now work on putting behind them.

“Your Warder?” Tesan asked of Egwene.

She regarded Gawyn, and was forced to confront a whole mess of emotions. Anger, affection, passion and regret. What a strange mix. “No,” she said. She stared Gawyn in the eyes.

I’m going to take this out of context as Egwene flat-out denying Gawyn because it makes me happy and you can’t stop me.

The way this is being handled goes some way towards, if not redeeming, then at least balancing the absurdity with which the romance between these two was introduced and established (YOU CAN’T DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP ENTIRELY VIA FORESHADOWING AND YES I’M STILL ANNOYED ABOUT THIS). There’s an acknowledgement here of the complications, and I like that ‘but they love each other’ isn’t immediately treated as a way of skipping over those. I like that Egwene gets to have these conflicting feelings, and gets to be unsure of exactly how to deal with Gawyn, and gets to rebuke and deny him because he fucked up and she’s angry and this isn’t the time.

Yes, this was a different experience entirely from the one she’d had back in that humble wooden building where she’d been raised by the Salidar Aes Sedai. In many ways, her performance in Salidar had been but a rehearsal.

Character growth!

The grand, domed room beyond now had a blasted hole—a gaping emptiness—directly across from the entrance. It looked out at Dragonmount.

I feel like there’s really no commentary required here; the symbolism is about as subtle as the blast that made that hole.

The Amyrlin Seat stood by the far wall, directly in front of the broken wall, its back ot the sprawling landscape beyond and distant Dragonmount.

You know, just in case it wasn’t clear enough already.

But let’s be honest, I love this sort of thing even when it’s not remotely subtle. The Amyrlin Seat in front of the wound in the Tower! The Amyrlin seat turned away from the world outside! The Amyrlin Seat set up with its back to Dragonmount, like a declaration of opposition! And yet the barrier between them torn away, and both now seen in the same tableau!

Egwene almost misses her cue because she’s distracted by taking a roll call of all the Aes Sedai present—or, perhaps more importantly—not present.

There was something Egwene had been considering, something audacious.

Oh, so it’s Tuesday.

What does she want Silviana for? To pardon her? But then why ask her to be brought now, rather than waiting…unless…Sheriam is dead. Egwene can’t choose either Lelaine or Romanda as a replacement without risking upsetting the balance of power; actually, she can’t really choose any of the (former) rebels without upsetting a different balance. Elaida was Red and the Reds are in disgrace and the Ajahs are at each other’s throats and Egwene is of all Ajahs and of none…anyway it’s a possibility. I’d put a very small amount of money on that being the reason she’s asking for Silviana, which would indeed be audacious. But…fitting, in this delicate dance of repairing divides and restoring balance.

Finally the ceremony begins, and we’ve all seen this before.

Of course, that’s very much the point: this is the far bookend of the arc that began for Egwene with that first raising. This is where it comes full circle and yet is almost inverted; when she was raised in Salidar it was out of division and conflict and a need for a puppet, and now she is being raised as a symbol of reconciliation, and as a true and strong leader whom they can all respect.

Why had she been chosen? Both times, it seemed the same answer. Because she was the only one they could all agree upon.

Differences, and yet some similarities. She’s not wrong, and she’s not under any illusions about the reason for her raising—though I think there is in some cases more to it than this simple pragmatism—though I’m sure she intends to live up to far more. She understands the situation, but she doesn’t need more from them. It’s not about her ego; she doesn’t need them to love her or to raise her out of any sort of admiration. She just needs to be where she can help them, and that’s what she plans to do. This, like the apology she spoke of demanding from the rebels, is just the formality that will allow for the genuine progress and healing.

“Are you certain you want to bear this weight, child?” Saerin asked in a very soft voice. This was not part of the ceremony.

“I bear it already, Saerin.”

This entire ceremony is far more important for all the other women in the room than it is for Egwene herself. She doesn’t need the Amyrlin’s stole and staff to do whatever she can to help the Tower; she’ll do that anyway. But they need the stability and security of process and tradition in a time when all else is chaos, and they need to have a symbol of that stability. That’s what it’s about, more than an actual conveyance of power. And maybe it’s just going through the motions, but sometimes that’s what is needed.

“Elaida cast it aside when she tried to slice it and divide it as she wished. I took it up and have carried it since. I would bear it to my death. And will.”

Saerin nodded. “I think that might be why you deserve it,” she said.

First of all, that whole ‘I would bear it to my death. And will’ is ominous and probably foreshadowing.

But the main thing I like about this is how it isn’t just a tired echo of the whole ‘those who don’t want power are best suited to it’ notion. Egwene doesn’t deserve to be Amyrlin because she’s modest and lacking in any kind of ambition; she deserves to be Amyrlin because she has worked tirelessly at just that for months, now. She deserves to be Amyrlin because she already is. Because she’s been doing the work of Amyrlin even when the title has been denied to her.

And I think that’s the idea that ‘give power to those who don’t seek it’ tries but sometimes fails to express. Egwene deserves to be Amyrlin because she’s not seeking the position for itself, or for her own vanity, but rather for the ability to guide and heal and lead the Tower. She does want to be Amyrlin, but it’s because she knows she is up to the task, and believes herself to be the best person for it. And is determined to make that true.

So I like the…nuance of this. That it’s not about wanting or not wanting power; it’s about what you plan to do with it, and how willing and able you are to wield it to that purpose.

Now it was time for some surprises.

It wouldn’t be a real meeting between Egwene and the Hall otherwise, would it? Some traditions must be kept, after all.

First surprise: Silviana.

“Mother,” Yukiri finally asked. “Is this the best time to be dispensing judgement?”

Somehow I don’t think that’s what’s about to happen here, Yukiri.

Egwene withdrew her hand from the kneeling Silviana and looked directly at Yukiri, then turned her gaze across the waiting Sitters. “You all bear a great deal of shame,” she said.

Or rather, Egwene’s not dispensing judgement on Silviana. On the Aes Sedai of the Tower…that’s another story.

“This,” Egwene said, gesturing toward the broken wall. “You bear responsibility for this.” She pointed at Silviana, still kneeling. “You bear responsibility for this. You bear responsibility for letting the Tower remain so long in division. Many of you bear responsibility for that division in the first place!

“You are a disgrace. The White Tower—the pride of the Light, the power for stability and truth since the Age of Legends—has nearly been shattered because of you.”

She stated earlier her intent to require an apology from the rebels, but they’re not the only ones who are going to have to face some hard truths. She’s not letting anyone off easy, and that’s the key here. Not only does it keep division from worsening by ensuring that no one ‘side’ can feel superior—or feel treated unfairly in comparison to the other(s)—but it also forces all of them to really look at what has happened. And to accept their responsibility, because they are all responsible, to some degree or another. It has come to this, and now they must find a way forward, and they cannot do that until they acknowledge where they are.

It’s a stripping-down of pride in order to put them all on even footing once more, as well as to make them recognise how little they have to focus that pride on right now. The Tower is nearly broken, and they have all but fallen apart, and they can’t just deny that anymore, not if they are to rebuild anything. And so in a way this harshness is absolutely necessary, because it may be the only way to strip away illusion and conceit and petty (or even not so petty) grievances and rivalries and actually start afresh and build something worth being proud of again.

“There have been foolish Amyrlins before, but non have come as close to tearing down the entire Tower! You are a check upon the Amyrlin. You are to keep her from doing things like this! You allowed her to disband an entire Ajah? What were you thinking? How is it that you allowed the Tower to fall so far?”

Tell that to Congress.

They can’t keep blaming each other, or even Elaida, for their failings, because then they will not have actually dealt with them, and it will only make it easier to continue to do nothing. And they can’t look solely to Egwene for their salvation, because again that frees them to take no action, and inaction and indecision have been contributors to this whole mess in the first place. And so reparation begins with acknowledging, at least to an extent, their own complicity in the disaster.

Egwene really does do an excellent ‘I’m not angry; I’m just disappointed’. (‘Except I’m actually angry as well’).

“Only one woman in this room was willing to stand up for what she knew to be right. Only one woman dared defy Elaida, and she accepted the price of doing so. And you think I brought this woman here to exact vengeance on her? Are you really so blinded that you think I’d punish the only person in the entire Tower who did anything of decency these last few months?”

It’s an even stronger example because of the fact that it was Silviana who beat Egwene on Elaida’s orders for so long. But that’s just it; Silviana was following orders, which is respectable, within the bounds of reason and legality…until Elaida went too far, and then Silviana challenged her. She didn’t fall back on following orders as an excuse to turn a blind eye to a violation of Tower Law, and she didn’t use Elaida’s status as Amyrlin—or even her threats and punishments—as reason to remain silent.

And so Egwene holds her up as an example, and it highlights the commitment to fairness and justice; it’s not about who she likes or dislikes. Silviana beat her and yet is being praised as one of the only people here who has shown decency, while even the rebels—of whom Egwene was one—are not getting away lightly.

“Silviana Brehon, I would have you as my Keeper of the Chronicles. Let it not be said that I spurned the Red.”

Well done. It sends a message to the Red that Egwene does not plan to retaliate, or to disband them as Elaida disbanded the Blue. It sends a message to the Tower and Rebel Aes Sedai alike that Egwene intends them to be reunited. And It’s also a way of setting a very clear precedent that contrasts with the one Elaida has set: Egwene is not going to dispense judgements based on whim and mood. She won’t demote someone to Accepted for disagreeing with her if she’s promoting a woman to Keeper who beat her.

“This will be a difficult time for the Red Ajah, daughter,” Egwene said. “Their nature has always been to capture men who can channel, but reports claim that saidin is cleansed.”

“There will still be rogue channellers, Mother,” Silviana said. “And men are not to be trusted.”

Someday, we will have to move beyond that sentiment, Egwene thought. But for not, it is true enough to let stand.

She’s learned to pick her battles. (Or at least, she’s learned that ‘fight everyone all the time’ is best left to Nynaeve). There is only so much change she can effect at a time, only so much she can challenge, and only so far she can push without shattering them all over again. It’s a frustrating truth of politics, sometimes.

She also knows that ordering penance is fairly pointless—this is a time for justice and some necessary harshness, but she also knows, it seems, where to stop. They need to be able to move on, and setting penance as Elaida might once have would just keep them focused on the past, not to mention foment resentment. Instead, any penitent feelings they may feel a need to express can be directed towards rebuilding the Tower.

Egwene took a deep breath. “And I am not guiltless either. I share some of your shame, for it was during my tenure that these disasters occurred. I sided with the rebels, allowed myself to be raised by them because it was the only choice. But that choice still gives me culpability.”

I love this. I love that no one is exempt, not even herself. She is harsh to all, but to none unfairly. And I love the way agency comes into this: she made her choice, and believed it the only one, but that does not absolve her—or any of them—of the consequences. Those, they must face, and so better to face them together on equal footing. This is their shame, as Aes Sedai and as the White Tower; in an ironic sort of way it’s a foundation of unity from which they can build.

Mostly, though, I just love ‘it was the only choice, but that choice still gives me culpability.’ This is the moral reckoning I love so much. She did what she had to do, but it was still her choice. That’s what her arc has been about: duty and necessity but never without agency. She makes her choices, and stands by them. She does not behave like one forced into her place by fate, fighting it all the way, but like one who chose even when it seemed like no choice at all.

It’s a smaller hint of a bookend, maybe, but it reminds me of her meeting her toh before leaving the Aiel. When she learned to admit to what she had done—even if it was something she believed must be done—and face the consequences of it. And now she is doing so again, in front of those she intends to lead: owning up to her ‘crimes’, such as they are, and accepting that she is not without fault. She’s come a long way.

“Bear your shame, Sitters, but bear it with determination. Do not let it break you. The time for healing has begun, and there is no longer any use in pointing fingers. You failed. But you are what we have. We are all the world has.”

Egwene says it more eloquently than I have, but…that’s it, exactly. It’s time to move on. They have to accept what they have done and what has happened, and where they stand now, but they must also look ahead.

And now it’s the rebels’ turn.

First, Silviana wants to know how the whole Keeper situation is going to be resolved, and Egwene just casually responds no worries, there won’t be any competition, Sheriam was Black Ajah and therefore disqualified. Oh and also would you mind moving the ter’angreal storehouse? Pass the salt.

“I will not pretend that our division did not take place. We of the White Towerare sometimes too eager to forget those facts we don’t want to acknowledge. This one cannot be hidden, not from us who lived it. We were divided. We nearly came to war with one another. We have disgraced ourselves.”

Note the pronoun she uses. This is something they all have to acknowledge, herself included. And she’s only too right that they have a tendency to sweep such things under the rug. It’s why these announcements and harsh pronouncements are necessary; she has to make it impossible for any of them to just…sidestep the problems that led to this point in the first place, because then what is to prevent them from going back to that?

And so we get a speech similar to the one she gave the Sitters, though the wrongs she cites are different—and once again, she makes it clear that she shares their shame, as she shares the shame of the Tower Aes Sedai.

“You must take responsibility for your crimes, even those performed in the name of the greater good.”

I’ve said this before, but Egwene has evolved to occupy the niche of Lawful Good I find most interesting. That space in which crime for the sake of the greater good may be necessary or admirable, but still requires a form of justice. It’s an odd balancing act in that it should be an impossible contradiction, yet occasionally you get a character who manages to hold that space and make it work, and she has become one of them.

And really, it comes down—again—to an issue of agency, of choice and consequence. Do what you must, and pay the price.

“You did not come here in glory,” Egwene said to them. “You did not come here victorious. For there is no victory, and could have been no victory, when sister fought sister and Warder died to Warder.”

She was ready to take that step herself, to attack the Tower, if needed. She was willing to make that choice, knowing these consequences…but she knew what the consequences would be. And so I don’t find this to be hypocrisy, but rather full understanding of their situation and what it could have come to, and in some cases what it did come to. This is not a victory, because the situation was such that no matter who won they would all lose.

And now for the rebuilding. Enough of shame and fault and guilt; time to focus on what can be done to prepare them for the future.

It’s well done. I’m proud of her.

Even if the exclamation marks are getting a little excessive.

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