#are actually just a necessary evil bc when you think about it atrocities are actually cool sometimes

[lord-squiggletits]

One of my least favorite fantasy writing tropes is when the writers set up a Good vs. Evil paradigm (often with say heaven vs hell or light vs darkness) and then they write in some shit where it's like "this is an eternal conflict that won't end because AKSHULLY the evil ravening forces of doom that want to destroy/enslave all of existence are just morally gray and both forces are karmic equals where the universe needs both to survive and you should actually try to be both dark AND light" like

I'm not saying that that kind of story doesn't work, I just feel like the way most fantasy stories write it (especially if it's initially written as Cosmic Good vs. Evil and then retconned to be "they can both be good/evil in their own way") feels more like a stupid attempt to be subversive and edgy than anything that actually makes sense morally or philosophically speaking.

Like. I do agree with the concept that there will always be both good and evil/light and darkness in the universe, but I don't think that's because the Forces Of Evil are actually misunderstood tragic heroes and the Forces Of Good are akshully evil and hiding it. I think it's because Being Good is something that you have to consciously try to be and there is no point at which you Achieve Goodness and can relax the rest of your life never having to improve yourself as a person or do work to combat injustice in the world. Because in that case, the fact that "both good and evil exist" is just a statement of fact about how there is never a point in life where you're simply done with your personal/spiritual/moral journey. Not some inane statement about how akshully things like spite and hatred and crimes against humanity are a necessary part of existence that you should embrace because being an Enlightened Individual is about how Being Good and Being Evil are akshully the same thing cosmically speaking and you should welcome in the forces of darkness and violence into your heart bc you're incomplete without them!

[uriekukistan]

HI RIN!!!

For the WIP ask: How about 3, 4, 10, 15, and 16? Hope you have a great day!

HIII THANK YOU FOR THE ASK :D sorry for the late reply i've been feeling kinda sick but i fear you've hit the yap button w these....though unfortunately i dont have enough of any of these written to provide a proper snippet my apologies </3 HOPE YOURE DOING WELL !!

3 - WIP I talk about (hasn't started yet)

this is a more recent idea that i just had and talked a bit abt on here i might refine it some before i actually start writing it, but in short i was thinking what if. when yuuji died at the detention center megumi accidentally cursed him? i’ve been thinking of yuuji as a rika-like curse or maybe (probably) something more humanoid but. imagine the GUILT that megumi would feel ooohhhggg it would hurt so bad i need to think more about this  but i have had the idea for a while about itafushi cursing each other at the detention center…..now that i have more time i can actually work on fleshing this out so 

4 - WIP that is secretly rotting my brain & 10 - WIP I started because because of a song

not to combine two asks again i SWEAR its related 

actually i don’t think i’ve ever talked abt this one before…maybe with like one person. and i haven’t started it yet either but it lives in my brain RENT FREE. but its a horror/angst idea inspired by jjk 266 because im EVIL

basically the idea is that in order to reach megumi’s soul, yuuji has to travel Through sukuna’s soul. in doing this, he basically experiences life as sukuna like all the atrocities he committed and cannibalism, some other things. and he’s conscious the whole time but can’t stop anything even he tried because he’s just living sukuna’s memories. ooooh the guilt the sickness the trauma i need to write this idea so bad

the reason i included 10 in this is because i first got the idea when i was listening to “talk” by hozier and the line about the voice that urged orpheus and the choiceless hope in grief. the fic doesnt really align with erm the rest of the song but like the idea of yuuji going through literal Hell to save megumi (like he didnt go through enough already) and the way i saw that in the jjk universe was sukuna’s soul

15 - WIP that is just all my favorite tropes bound together with the power of love

i would say koi no yokan but since i finished editing the last chapter today i feel like that doesnt count as a wip anymore :( 

now i’d say it’s my (unstarted) actor au because it has slow burn elements, historical elements (IM SO EXCITED ABT THIS), secret/forbidden romance…probably lots of meddling (/affectionate) nobara. i havent fully planned it out yet bc i don’t like to have too many active multichapters at once </3 but i love the idea of writing itafushi falling in love twice in parallel stories 🥹

16 - WIP that has an audience of 1 and it is me

is this an appropriate time to talk abt original work……………………………i’ve never talked abt that here before omg

it’s still in its infancy im talking world and characters barely in existence (i’m better at plotting first and building as necessary but idk idk) but this morning i actually came up w a title for it and a vague beginning and ending so i can start building more from there but. 

its a fantasy story set in a fictional kingdom (wow big shocker /s) and the idea that i’ve centered my plot around so far is this doomsday cult. here’s a lil peak into my lore doc (hides faster than the speed of sound) (yes i named the cult before the kingdom what about it)

the story is tentatively named (though i will probably stick with it) "when the sun bleeds red" after the first line of the prophecy. which to me not only refers to the prophecy but the type of imagery i'll be striving for with the more violent scenes kjdgfhfjdh

i'll be running away and hiding myself in a ditch now cant believe i spoke abt my original work publicly

[animeloversworldsblog]

Ok im tired of all this things so im gonna started

Guren ichinose is a child, an innocent child, how he should be at his age, well knows from all hiragis and the rest of the houses. So mahiru knew well who he was at the age of 5, she went for him for one reason: make his father angry because he killed her mother, she was right to get angry? Yes she was, but that give you the right to goes after a kid where his family were dealing with their garbage for 500 years? No, of course not. And is not just that, she analyzed him and observed him, she ordered him to do whatever she wanted it, she observed his personality and even used him to become strong to be free of her family, and it didn't matter if that was  him or other boy. She left that her family interrogate guren and his family bcs she was going to see him. If she was a sweet innocent girl why she let her family tortured them, she always run away bcs nothing was more important than her. She even say that she hate hiragi family bcs her mother was killed so she wanna go after what hiragis hate the most. So sweet and innocent never was. She even called guren and his family ichinose trash. She needed guren to fall for her first yet she ending up falling for him (with actually never was, she just need a tool) .Being the manipulative person she is , mahiru used all the pawns ( which is her own family guren and his friends) to complete her plans.People may say that she had goals and ambitions but there are ways you can do things and she completely went of the rail and lost her damn mind. Mahiru only goal in life was to use guren as her puppet and make him feel the pain she feels which is loneliness, and guren being a "perfect" target cause nobody respected or like him so he was the perfect lab rat / pawn / victim for her. Misery loves company and unfortunately guren was chosen.    

 So her personality was selfish since child, if you are angry because you have an abusive and shitty father don’t go and screw a little kid for your own selfish reasons, why goes from him in the first place? Because she saw him just like the rest of her family, rat ichinose, scum ichinose. So since child wasn’t different from her family was the same, Because from hiragis and the rest of the houses is better screw a family for unreasonable ridiculous hatred to proof that “because I have power or I belong to a powerful family I’m going to show you I can do whatever I want with you” even guren said it that he learned he don’t have to defy hiragi house because they can smash people however they want. But then again, if she grow up in a cruel environment what make her the right to do whatever she wants with people bcs she was suffering?  What make her less cruel that the rest of her family? She become in the same as them bcs power was all to them. Even she want to get free of her destiny why screw everybody life on the process?. We forget that she wants guren just to be free and ask him kill all his family and friends? She wants to fulfill her wishes even if that meant hurt someone on the process.

Shinya well people think that hate her is bcs she rejected shinya and wasn’t want to be with him, that is so wrong. She wasn’t suffering any pain, she has 10, and she was treated normal even if she grow up around an abusive and cruel family, but shinya? He was yet another child that suffered at the hand of another form of child abuse. Maybe he also force himself to like/love mahiru because he life was on the line ... what people may not realize or care about is that when your life is on the line alot of the enemies words or ideas start to make since after a while. Shinya was a child that wanted a true family but ended up the joke of the family (so it's a mixture of what he wanted for the family aspect but got treated like the family pet). I'm pretty sure of shinya had the option to choose what he wanted he would never go with the hiragis.. his morals and standards are way to high he wouldn't lower himself to thier level.                                     She was selfish, egotistical and treated shinya like garbage acting like a good girl yet she felt disgusting about him. More she goes to meet him just to tell him back off, more of that she not even care about a lot of kids being death, she doesn't love him?  Good, she hasn't to accept him? Good. Yet, why do you think not be able to love someone is the worst thing that can happened to you?  She did lose something? Yes her mother, but even so She is suffering any pain?  She was lock up and mentally abused?  No at all. She even is disgusting bcs shinya treat her nice and hate people prize her yet she prize herself. And who are you to obligated to a boy that you even met a few months and not even seeing him for over 10 years to love you? (She force guren to like her) She pretend to be nice with shinya and then making him fight after all what he through like if his effort would mean nothing. She is rotten since the beginning so don't give me with the crap that the demons influence her. We forget about shinya . Can we compare him here with her? Yes a lot, she was lonely so she  hasn't other choices to became a demon why? Shinya was sold for his parents,  was in a cage with 5 damn years old killing others kid, killing each others, can we talk about how many kids here lost everything and died like if they were an old object disposable garbage. And shinya lost his childhood. And was COMPLETELY LONELY. Yet he still grow up around hiragi family and try to be a normal kid surviving. Now  her grow up around the family and even with just 5 had bad intentions with people that she not even know like guren?  Being lonely doesn't became you an a monster are your action what define you. That thing you don't have anything so you just don't have a choice to became a demon is pure garbage, bcs if that would be the case every person in ons world that are lonely could be a monster and is not the case much people grow up to became better. Look kids that grow up without parents, lonely around even parents that destroyed their life. And fight and try harder to became in good persons. If you think this girl hasn't choices BCS BORN WITH A DEMON that is wrong  and see what is being a lonely child with problems and not have anybody that care or love you. Even shinya could became in a monster but he didn't he choose to be the way he is,( even guren could became in a monster bcs has saito blood, demon noya, and mahiru who possess him)  even could be kill in any moment from hiragi family and shinya knew it and could follow them and even so he didn't . She CHOOSE her own path for her own egoistic value point of view of life (as much as her family) , don't give me with the "thing" she hasn't other option to became in demon that is crap We all have our own behavior, unequivocal, not susceptible, nor vulnerable, even if it is the most submissive person in the world, nobody forces anything to anyone.              About Shinoa that she did care for her and did all what she could to protect her.. Then why she wants just go away with the "love of her life" and abandoned her sister, why let her alone, why used her like messenger, why let kureto tortured her? Why took her demon for power. She saw shinoa like a tool more on her plans, not bcs she care about, she even on manga wants shinoa became like her. She used shinoa as a shield to make atrocities with a lot of people. And that is care for shinoa? Saying she did all for shinoa when since child was already greedy as much at her family? She not even see values in others people life.       So my point is that demon thing about her bcs born with one ok valid but that make her a good girl when since child has evil intentions?  And even if she was possess when she had menstruation still was able to do things for her own free will she wasn't possess all the time she was conscious majority of the time( actually was conscious using the demon)  and use her demons when she need it bcs if the case is her influence and possession then the same is with guren he was able to not let possess he fight against that all the time and more he hate that part but she?  In novel when she shows that she care about others? That doesn't want to kill? And cry for herself not for hurt or kill others. She goes with the aren't other choices.  Lies there are manys ways to do things. She even say that life is useless so she doesn't give a crap about other people life. She wants to be a normal girl. Valid. But that give you the right bcs there aren't other choices to make genocide and don't give a crap about others life. Everybody wants a normal life in novel. Everyone. Even guren, even shinya but they did all what she did bcs there wasn't other choices? Even if she was a victim from her family. Why for 1200 years they enjoyed have power more than anything?  Why bcs were  manipulated from shikamadoiji? shijamadouji put their personalitys there? Is they want to get out of this bastard who controlled them why enjoy so much what his creator give them? Even if they were created to be used they love the power that someone else offer to them. They wants to be the kings or queens from the world. They have the hiragi pride. So how these people is victim when for years make so many genocide bcs love power more than anything. Guren, even if his destiny was mark, even has the blood of a crap bastard like saito, always fight against all of that, he didn't want any of this.(and you can see guren in novel and manga how much guilt and remorse feels and even is willing to let anybody kill him for his acts). Now her destiny was mark and a victim?  Good, valid, but in the end choose that bcs she want it that way all the time.  she is not a victim much less her family they choose follow the same path as his creator. We forget that kureto wants world dominations actually? We forget that  she doesn't  give a crap about the world? what about people they killed bcs is necessary for humankind? (Even guren on manga cried after what happened on nagoya that was mahiru plans and she did not care)  She wants that guren became exactly like her and he still having 24 is fighting and feel guilt about all what is happening but she?  Even being posses,  when she feel remorse about what she was doing?  Kureto don't feel remorse for what he is doing. Her family never feel remorse for what they did. Guren does all the time, he is scared.                                                        

People choose to be what they want to be regardless of where they come from .. people aren't forced to be nice or mean or evil .. they choose that path and will continue to walk it .. for those people who chose to walk the path of destruction with end with destruction until something in them changes but how often does that happen ... most people who has an impure heart tends to blame others around them then themselves cause its easier...people with shitty / horrible attitude tend to treat other people bad casue that's the way they are treated but with these people (mahiru and her family) who we are talking about is completely... she is evil from and already had a motive so she's completely out the question for any ethically or logical reasoning.

She is not a savoir. Kureto, mahiru and their family  don't feel nothing about kill people even if they get free that still going to be the same kill people and had them under their control, even if they kill the bastard shikamadouji you think they gonna became good like if shikamadouji would put their personality there? They still gonna make whatever they want with the world and people, shikamadoji is a monster a supernatural piece of crap but  is ridiculous think that mahiru or even kureto care for humanity even so guren still be an slave and everybody else. Shikamadouji is a horrible bastard selfish, egoist, monster but hiragis are equal as him. And even if she was alive and eliminate shikamadouji ( that is what she wants) she would be a good innocent girl that could be free having "what she loved the most" that was guren all for herself? . Do you think even so, she would let guren had friends and subordinates? When in novel she wants guren elimated all his family and friends. The only thing she wants from guren was that could make her free. She even said that if it wasn't bcs he is strong she would lost interest in him. Why kagami is saying that is not good or bad characters? Nonsense. Shikamadoji,  Hiragis and mostly of vampires, even without shikamadouji would be the most horrible humans and monster that could exist. Guren shows that he don't want any of what is happening and WANTS TO SAVE THE DAMN WORLD (yet he has to do it even he is scared bcs mahiru have him as prisoner and his family as hostages) kureto didn't care, much less her sister wouldn't care. Not shikamadoji. Not vampires. Not even hiragi family care. Mahiru, the human mahiru is as much as worse as her with demons and being a vampire all was her own free will, the same goes for her family. Shikamadouji is a shitty bastars that screw everybody life for pure egoist, selfish desire but they choose to follow their own selfish desires as much as his creator. We forget how hiragis use the word LOVE  to control other people, and how see love like lust to gain power?                                                                                

Victims here are all the people that shikamadouji, hiragis and vampires used, manipulate and killed over so many years to gain more and more power. even if "they were created to be used Aren't victims not even mahiru, kureto, tenri and sheishiro hiragi. They aren't saviors they just want to be free of their creator and even so they still would be the same shit as shikamadouji .

Selfish people often  mistakes selfishness for strength. It takes no talent. No intelligence. No self- control.and no effort to sacrifice other people for their ego.                                                                                                           The egoist is Fooled by no ideals. They discard them or used them as may suit their own interest.                                                                                    You can never force someone to change. Everyone is how they want to be, act as they want to act, lose what they want to lose.  

Guren ichinose is a good man, with so many flaws, and mistakes yet always is questionable about his actions but shitty characters like mahiru, tenri, kureto, shikamadoji, vampires, etc are not? Guren as much as shinya were victims from the same monster: mahiru. Shikamadoji. Hiragis. Bcs that is what they are. All of them are pure egoist, selfish and don't give a crap about the world or other people just about their own interest. Guren is trying to save the world he care about people and feel guilt, remorse, pain and suffering yet he has to deal with their shit bcs they are not to blame bcs were created for shikamadoji, i mean yeah this bastard is the worst but the rest are the same crap bcs always gonna blame others instead of themself how much hipocrasy they can show.? Even kagami trying to say on manga that hiragis are all good over the years and they are poor victims which is not. They have not redemtion bcs there isn't to any of them bcs shikamadoji is the big master. And where is the redemption? When even IF THIS BASTARD DIE, NOT HIRAGIS, NOT VAMPIRES, NOT GONNA CARE ABOUT A SINGLE LIFE THAT IT WASN'T THEMSELF. where is the people that suffered for them for all over the years, now bcs mahiru protect shinoa( wich is a lie bcs was other pawn) is a victim? Kureto and tenri are?  Guren is the only character that is trying to save the world even shinya wants to help. The rest are fighting for their onw selfishness but oh guren is a bastard that deserve to die. Which in reality The world would be better without hiragis, guren would be dealing with so many crap if it wasn't for the monster of mahiru. So every character is good except if it is guren and shinya right?

[healieas]

levels of beholding feeding; aka, will this successfully feed me or the eye?; aka, there are actions that beholding avatars are likely to take that may not constitute life-sustaining feeding; aka, the illuminati food pyramid.

the post where i break down what i personally consider feeding the eye to entail, including things that fall under the eye’s “jurisdiction” ( remember that fears are malleable and bleed into each other, and the eye especially tends to overlap with everything else bc it is a gratuitous voyeuristic sack of fuck, but for the purposes of this post i am going to try to focus on what in and of itself is eye fear and if it overlaps well that’s just fun and sexy isn’t it ) but do not feed it, things that engender beholding behavior but are not in and of itself feeding, things that eye avatars need to do to maintain themselves, and things that make the eye sigh and go “ah yes that was great food.” also this does not detail beholding powers. i’m just talking about the food, man. the gifts the eye grants its avatars is another story.

first and foremost, what qualifies something as feeding the eye? how does the eye “eat”? if something falls under the following categories, it feeds the eye: fear of being watched, fear of being exposed, fear of being followed, or fear of having your secrets known to somebody else. if something falls under the following categories, it is eye-related behavior likely performed by avatars, but is not in and of itself “eye food”: pursuit of knowledge, especially at the cost of one’s own health or sanity. obviously the latter can enable the former if that pursuit of knowledge is at somebody else’s expense, but what separates the two categories for me is that, to keep the eye as an entity from spreading so thin to the point where anything can be construed as capital-b Beholding because it involves observation or information, is holding fast to the eye being a fear entity. i.e., something can technically be in the eye’s territory of knowledge, but it does not become eye-related unless there is an active element of horror. of course, what constitutes “horror” is subjective, but i think that narrows down the options and removes, say, doing a book report from beholding. tma has a tight thesis of beholding being the horror of watching something terrible and doing nothing to intervene, or the inherent evil of inaction when one is witnessing an atrocity. 

therefore i’m going to make my grading for eye food the following. ( note that like... there’s grey area in between each level where, by taking a lower level to an extreme, you could slide it up to the next, etc. )

level one: are you watching in an obtrusive way? i.e., is this something you should be seeing? are you an active participant? or are you eavesdropping. things that fall into this category include people watching, listening in on conversations, or reading private correspondence. this is the fear of being watched / known against one’s will at play, but only one person ( the avatar ) knows the secrets, so it’s low-level feeding. just hoarding secrets unto oneself gives the avatar what i’d consider a steady drip of water, necessary for life and remaining active, but after an extended period of time with just water, you’re going to want for food. 

something like following someone and making them feel watched as more than just a prickling on the neck for an extended period of time would probably start to actually feed the eye a bit, as was the case with the cursed mirror; someone with a constant and perhaps debilitating fear of being watched, facilitated by the actions of a beholding avatar, would advance to feeding the eye. 

institutionalized watching in an obtrusive way, i.e. the lack of privacy afforded to inmates in a place like millbank, ratchets up to full eye feeding. again, the longer and more intense the watching, the more intense the fear produced, the more likely it’s going to drift up into actual feeding territory. but as a casual action, it’s not sustainable.

level two: are you revealing to the person that you know their secrets? to distinguish this from the above category, i’m talking about the situation with elias and daisy / martin / melanie -- digging out someone’s secrets and then throwing them in their face, making them feel the despair of being peeled open for examination. what puts this at a lower level than mass exposure is the fact that it is probably only the beholding avatar who’s getting anything out of this. this is semi-solid food to the eye, like a gelatin or pudding or other soft hospital food. you can sustain yourself on it, but try to go for any extreme period of time just doing this and you’re probably going to suffer from malnutrition ( if you want to talk to me about malnutrition and how it actually works, aka you’re getting plenty of calories but not all of the components you need, and historic examples of mass malnutrition, we can totally do that; but i want to make it clear for those that might think malnutrition is just like starvation lite, it’s not -- you can be eating a ton of food every day and if you have no variety and if it lacks the proper nutrients, you’re still going to suffer the adverse effects; all this detail to say that’s what happens to an eye avatar who only feeds by privately exposing someone’s secrets to their face, a slow and conscious wasting ). 

constantly harassing someone about their secrets might make your diet a little more diverse, metaphorically, but this category really doesn’t have the same mobility as the previous one.

level three: are you making other people aware of the information you’ve gleaned? this is fear of exposure, where somebody is going to face the fallout and consequences of having something unsavory put on display for an audience. ( yes, this covers body image fears of people in the public eye, which is imo a flesh fear that the eye can also feed upon, but that’s an intense discussion for another post that needs to be handled with nuance. i only mention it to make it clear that like... it doesn’t even have to be something objectively horrid that’s exposed; if the person who is being put on display has a fear of being seen, that’s enough to put it in this category, because it is producing anxiety or discomfort. ) no need for bullet points! this gets more and more intense the wider the audience and the more people talk about it. this is solid beholding food with good nutrition! you could make a beholding career out of this! i’m certain that elias does some feeding by allowing students in to read the dirty laundry of named statement givers ( in addition to slurping the despair of visitors who aren’t going to be helped at all by the institute ). after all, statement givers frequently express fear of being pegged as “insane” or having experienced the denial, pity, or avoidance of their friends and family after their experiences. judgement cast upon vulnerability? eye food.

level four: taking a statement. this is sort of disconnected from the rest and may exist alongside them rather than above them, but canonically, reading and experiencing ( getting into character, allowing yourself to feel the presented emotions ) a statement feeds the eye. notice how jon works through tons of “statements” a week, documents gathered by the institute, but only reads one true statement a week on average. he “steps into the shoes” of the statement giver and re-experiences the terror, often while learning something about another entity and how it functions, increasing his own knowledge of the fear world. in my opinion, this is where we get into the eye simultaneously feeding on what’s offered and feeding on the avatar. jon is exhausted after reading a statement and needs to rest. multiple people state that it seems to take a lot out of him. he needs them to survive, but he also finds the experiences draining. this is a solid cooked meal, and the eye has the digestion of a snake, so if you get one of these a week? you’re good. 

level five: taking a statement directly from another subject, though? that’s just feeding. cutting out the middle man and the mental transportation of reading a literary piece ( or listening to a tape, or watching a recording ) means that you just get to feed off the person’s fear, because you are peeling them open and knowing them. this does relate a bit to level two, which is why i said it’s probably more of a horizontal relationship, but the difference for me is that you are forcing them to give an account of their encounter with a fear, thus accumulating knowledge of a lived experience and of the other deities, and you are making a person feel known and exposed, often ( in canon ) in a way that’s abrupt and uncalled for. willing statement-givers do not seem to have the same reactions as the poor people jon yoinks in public. taking statements seems to be compulsory for archivists in particular. whether or not it impacts administrators ( elias ) in the same way is hard to discern. maybe not, or maybe that’s solved by having the institute function the way it does, because all those statements are technically elias’s. ( i also have opinions on how elias feeds every single day but we’ll get to that later. the fear machine of the institute. ) this is good food. this is gourmet. this is why the eye stans jon. feeding just off of direct statements is going to cause your own power to skyrocket because you are eating so well.

there are probably more examples of ways to feed, and if people wanna shoot me ims or asks like “is this proper eye feeding?” i’d be happy to answer with my own takes on the situation ( because these are my own takes lol you do not need to live or die by this headcanon I Just Think My Theory Is Sound Enough For This Blog ). but now we’ll look at behaviors that may indicate a propensity for beholding, or that keep a beholding avatar in shape without feeding them; the exercise counterpart to a healthy diet. presented in bullet point form because these are not as in-depth as the above.

an inclination towards extensive research. not just looking up what you need for a book report and nothing more, we’re talking about going down a rabbit hole of research frequently out of a desire to know more. because this does not necessarily produce a fear response and does not necessarily deal with witnessing horror, it is not feeding ( i think about the idea of true crime beholding avatars and i get a little woozy because like... could it work and be canon compliant? certainly. is it therefore a valid take? it sure is. is it something i’m willing to get into? no, because it makes me personally uncomfortable sadly, because i feel some kinda way about the glamorization of serial killers and so on, and though i think an interest in true crime can be pursued tastefully, it’s so nuanced and so Not Me in particular that i just don’t want to get into it, even if i acknowledge that it’s something that probably exists in the tma universe because the tma universe is uncomfortable horror! )

being a nosy bitch. are you always involved in other people’s business, especially drama? do you subscribe to tea spill youtube channels? are you prepared to drop a hot tweet about something shady a celebrity did? ( THIS IS NOT A CRITIQUE OF OR COMMENTARY ON CALLOUT CULTURE INB4, PLEASE I BEG YOU. ) you have the beholding inclination to dig and reveal secrets! awesome!

a desire to organize and preserve information. i think often about this one because one of the things about the ceaseless watcher is that it knows but does not comprehend. it is not interested in understanding or exploring the nuance of what it observes, which is what makes it so horrific. it doesn’t care, the only thing it’s invested in is watching fear and accumulating knowledge so that it can “say” it has more information than anybody else. this, i think, is why beholding tends to center itself around academic institutions. the idea of gatekeeping knowledge, of an ivory tower, is so beholding-appropriate because if you think about the implications then yes, it’s bad. hoarding knowledge and not allowing other people to learn is not a good thing, and that’s why beholding is so very into it. HOWEVER, I AM ALSO DEEPLY INVESTED IN THE IDEA THAT THIS IS WHAT SEPARATES THE FEAR GOD BEHOLDING FROM ITS HUMAN AVATARS. because the avatars are painfully human! michael is proof enough of that i think! even if avatars consider themselves a different species, at the very least “formerly-human” categorically, they were humans and still have human flaws and inclinations. one of these, for beholding avatars, is organization. it’s putting the puzzle pieces together ( unless you’re bad at it, i’m so sorry jon you’re really trying and i love you, but in this case i think that has more to do with jon’s tendency to shoot himself in the foot / put himself at a disadvantage because he is afraid than a beholding-wide thing ), because the human brain usually wants to understand things. it wants to draw meaning from things. even elias, probably the least human of the beholding avatars we see, has to organize the information he has and put separate stories together to form a larger picture, because functioning in the human world just necessitates doing that! you want to stop another ritual? you can’t just gather different pieces of information and not relate them to each other, you have to categorize them and draw conclusions. and, imo, this is what separates the human world from the post-apocalyptic world. the post-apocalyptic world does not require analysis or organization, it can simply be; that is reality as warped and controlled by the fear gods.

there’s probably more to this but i have talked so much, i think that’s enough for now. anyways i care so much about beholding and how it functions and this is actually my least academic bullshitty piece on it, so yay for that. usually i’m all “voyeurism and The Gaze and how it functions in society and especially media!” but today? today we just talk about good eats.