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callanpurcell-blog · 8 years

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work in progress post/person

A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR

From June last year... “Hey Olivia, I just wanted to send you a massive message of encouragement and respect for the things you're doing for yourself. I'm in the midst of where you were a little while ago; trying to find funding ($40,000) for my college tuition. Ive finished my first year of studies and have two more to come. It sucks so much that there are people like us who live and breathe this art, and want to make ourselves better people and this world a better place through theatre, but money gets in the way of achieving those goals. It's clear though that you're unstoppable, and your path is one less trodden, going to workshops and intensives etc. Obviously there's more than one way to smash out a life in the theatre, and it's of great importance to remind people that acting school isn't necessarily the only way, and it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out that way. Best wishes heading your way! Callan”

Saying bye to mum and dad was hard. A hug or four and before it hit me, I was beside a gentleman from Amsterdam who believed this generation can’t live without social media. We spoke a while and laughed a lot; swimming through topics of Australian foods, occupations, the red light district, the time he was deemed a pedophile when he took a photo of a man in a reindeer costume although the mother thought he was taking a photo of her child, the time I went to Uluru and found an overwhelming sense of belonging when the sun woke up behind it, Brexit, where the young people were during the vote for Brexit, the confusion of the air hostess when I asked for pepper but she came back with pepsi, the hilarity of Ad, the Amsterdam gentleman reclining his chair- causing the knees of the sleeping woman behind to wrap around her ears as her feet were on her fold out table, and the marvel of the amount of languages Ad could speak. I just flicked back to facebook and read that being grateful, or speaking of things that you’re grateful about is one of the most effective ways to combat heavier times. I’ll write my happenings very quickly from my first day, just for the archives, but then I’ll dive into the delicious selection of things that make me smile or have made me smile this last month. -Flying over London: that’s a big cloud -Flying into London: still, in a big cloud -Getting out in London: still in the big cloud -Tube strikes--travelled from terminal 3 to 1, 1 to Picadilly line, Picadilly line to Hammersmith, Hammersmith to Monument, Monument to City Thames Link, City Tames Link to West Hampstead, West Hampstead to Kilburn, Kilburn to St John’s Wood, walked from St John’s Wood to Belsize Park. -Inbetween: Damp ground, damp clothes, drizzle. -People pushing and stabbing with the umbrellas and huffing and cursing and yeah, a lot of pushing in- what the fuck?

Ok, that done and dusted. I just can’t let it harden my heart. I’ll learn to find the sunshine inside me.

I stand by the fact that it’s vital to ride through negative emotions just like the positive ones. If I push them down or go all zen and try and ride above them, I won’t a) ever let them out so they’ll just fester like the 16 capsicums I found in the fridge last year at my old sharehouse and b) i wouldn’t have the experience of negotiating myself and my ability through them to get to the other side. I thought that’s what I was training to do, again and again, night after night. Australia was easy for me. Every day is like a day at the baths. Glorious, yes, but easy. Keep it coming, London. But maybe give me a break on Sundays. Sundays are day of rest, remember?

AUSTRALIA.

A. warm welcome from the sun where I fell asleep at the baths and woke up with really serious sunburn. It was a familiar feeling- not being able to lay on your back for longer than 2 minutes, and applying Aloe Vera every other 2.

B.elvoir St seeing Girl Asleep; a play I’ve been wanting to see for about 5 years now. I also left a letter for a hero of mine, Matthew Whittet, asking him if I could work with him.

D.ear Evan Hansen screaming out of the speakers while salty summer air flooded in from the windows. Tyran, how I missed you, brother.

E.pic

F.ish and chips from Stockton. The scollops were practically just batter. I also bought a BBQ chicken. We got out of the 39 degree heat, chucked the air conditioner on and dug into the best Australian meal: chicken and chips with chicken salt.

G.lenrock Lagoon reminded me of what it was like to see with senses other than the eyes. The journey from the carpark to Merewether Baths and back was glorious and worth every step. I’d made a ham and pickle sandwich to eat halfway.

H.earing wild dingoes in Central Australia as I laid in my swag looking up at the stars. Ok, well staring at the stars; making sure I didn’t draw attention to myself as they were drinking water about 5 metres away from me. I didn’t want mum to be the next one in line to say “A dingo ate my baby!” because, let’s face it, I’ll always be her baby.

I.nitiating the walk up Heart attack Hill. The first part to the path across King’s Canyon. Looking up it, you saw people in the distance, like ants. I’ve only had that feeling once before...when I was looking at California Scream in Disneyland.

J.ust spending time with family. Enough said. Especially with Harper though. Her look so intent. She’s a very good listener..and very cheeky. Seeing Uncle Gerry and Aunty Deb too were highlights

K.eeping true to the impulse of the letter. Another letter. A spontaneous yet respectful letter to a girl who had the most gorgeous smile at the baths. I guess that’s the only downside to not having a mobile. But I wrote my name and drew a wave, so we talked still.

L.ying with mum in bed like I was 10 again.

M.ilkshakes with dad at Warners Bay, and him letting ME pay for them...

N.ew years the way I like it. Quite, and symbolic. Spending the first few seconds underwater and being ‘rebirthed’ by gasping for air when I came to the surface. I love symbolic stuff like that.

O.ld friends and family popping up out of nowhere.

P.opcorn and jersey caramels at the old lake cinema. This was the first time in a long time I didn’t care about rustling wrappers or sniffing or fidgeting, because it was just fun. It was another reminder that actually I AM able to just go watch a film or play and enjoy it because it’s an activity I get to do with the people I love. Rustle away!

Q.uiet conversations on verandahs with friends and really good chicken salad and fruit and new dogs and forgotten gifts.

R.olling around in Maitland with drama kids. Doing workshops back with Annie’s kids from Upstage reminded me that theatre is for everyone, and so is acting. You do lose perspective being at drama school, and think that it’s all a perfect little bubble...but in reality, some of the best comedy or drama I’ve seen play out is from a 4 year old trying to do his laces.

S.unrise at Uluru. Sitting in the red dirt, seeing exactly when the core of the sun rose from the earth with the rays around it.

T.he Universe had some gems up her sleeve. Tarni Kate Beau Renee Erin Daniel Hayley Dom Max Peter Kathryn Bridget

U.nderestimating the beauty of 106.1 classic FM. It gives a nice, lyrical quality to a Newcastle summer.

V.isiting Newcastle Art Gallery and the Newcastle Museum

W.hen Yong, a South Korean kindergarten teacher told me that when she first met me on the Uluru trip, she thought I’d be a “naughty boy”. I was both aroused and confused, but I think she meant ‘bad boy’ because my cap was on back to front at the start. I said I loved my mum and dad though, so there’s no way I was.

X.tra special memory:

Y.oga and finding freedom in active meditation. Thanks Bridget xx

Z.inc and sunscreen. The smell will always take me back to summer. The colours will always take me back to the 80s.

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10:54 Newcastle Baths 31.12.2016

‘Be the Sunshine Kid the World Needs.’

new music - INSTEAD OF - the ‘go to’ genres new books - INSTEAD OF - the kids books more veggies - INSTEAD OF - just chocolate more water - INSTEAD OF - pepsi swimming - INSTEAD OF - sleeping in yoga - INSTEAD OF - ‘just nothing’ active meditation - INSTEAD OF - ‘just stillness’ kisses and cuddles - INSTEAD OF - playing cool romance - INSTEAD OF - reality checks listening - INSTEAD OF - waiting to speak water - INSTEAD OF - bed risks - INSTEAD OF - regrets honesty - INSTEAD OF - political correctness focus - INSTEAD OF - indecisive heroes - INSTEAD OF - enemies anticipation - INSTEAD OF - anxiety healthy challenges - INSTEAD OF - obstacles encouraging - INSTEAD OF - forcing understanding - INSTEAD OF - replying commitment - INSTEAD OF - pussy-footing boiling hot - INSTEAD OF - luke warm passion - INSTEAD OF - playing it cool naked - INSTEAD OF - out of touch drawing - INSTEAD OF - nothing at all checking in - INSTEAD OF - checking out seeking knowledge - INSTEAD OF - desiring it doing - INSTEAD OF - saying invincible - INSTEAD OF - invisible warrior - INSTEAD OF - worrier star-gazing - INSTEAD OF - stone-kicking people person - INSTEAD OF - hermit singing - INSTEAD OF - silence just because - INSTEAD OF - this is the meaning of life discoveries - INSTEAD OF - decisions howling at the moon - INSTEAD OF - howling in your room honesty - INSTEAD OF - “INTERESTING...” questions - INSTEAD OF - answers using weight - INSTEAD OF - pushing against surrendering - INSTEAD OF - locking clarity and cleansing - INSTEAD OF - chaos change - INSTEAD OF - talking about change touching - INSTEAD OF - seeing sensing - INSTEAD OF - analysing planning - INSTEAD OF - procrastinating your journey - INSTEAD OF - theirs your drum - INSTEAD OF - theirs your love - INSTEAD OF - theirs saving - INSTEAD OF - spending BREATH. JUST MORE BREATH. AND MORE IMAGINATION AND COLOUR. London is my bitch - INSTEAD OF - I am London’s bitch sharing - INSTEAD OF - shame cleansing - INSTEAD OF - clutter negotiation - INSTEAD OF - right way / wrong way soul - INSTEAD OF - sight MORE SOLAR PLEXUS experimentation - INSTEAD OF - expectation making time - INSTEAD OF - finding time sweaty body - INSTEAD OF - not...sweaty intuition - INSTEAD OF - institution conversation - INSTEAD OF - confrontation beautiful thoughts - INSTEAD OF - bashing ones

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