#arrggghhhhhhhhh

[nonelvis]

first I failed to add a Fourteenth Doctor category to Teaspoon after Ncuti Gatwa was cast because I figured it didn't have to be there the instant he was announced, and then I kept failing to add Fourteenth and Fifteenth Doctor categories because my brain still refuses to acknowledge that Tennant, whom I love and who I loved as Ten, is coming back as Fourteen, because that is fucking ludicrous and not in a good way, BUT ANYWAY, Fourteenth and Fifteenth Doctor categories are now on whofic.com, and I'm just gonna keep glaring at RTD from about 3,100 miles away

[chatpile]

I'm SO upset and I don't even have any right to be. The shower is broken so that it lets water into the kitchen below when it's used. For over a month I've been either showering at work or, now especially that I've left, the local gym. And I HATE it. The entire process stresses me the fuck out beyond comprehension. Just the fucking inconvenience of walking to get there. The fact the cubicles are so tiny with barely any room to change. Oh yeah the fact the walls are SEE THROUGH. Literally... the first time I went I walked straight out because I just could not get over the entire 'translucent doors in PUBLIC showers' thing. The entire process is so fucking embarrassing, the number of times I've just straight fucking cried because I'm so uncomfortable is untrue. And yeah, I admit, I don't shower as often as I should because of how fucking difficult it has to be. But to add insult to injury I can't even get clean properly because I'm not about to shave in a public shower. So I got my period again because I'm a fat shit and the blood glued my fucking pubes together. :) I'm filthy and disgusting. ARRGGGHHHHHHHHH

And I know this is my fault, ok. I KNOW. Im fucking twenty six years old I know I should be doing better and not making excuses for the fact I'm fucking worthless but I can't ok. I just fucking can't. And all of this just reminds me of this exact same thing happening when I still lived with my p*rents and I had to shower at the leisure centre. Or the time my shower broke at Shillitoe and I just had to tough it out because all gyms were closed under c*vid until I realised that fuck it, I really had tried to get it sorted by the proper channels and it wasn't my house so why the fuck would I care. It's all just a reminder that I have virtually no agency over so many essential aspects of my life, and that's not going to change any time soon.

I need therapy man. Fuck.