#as I typed this police sirens came up one of the other neighborhoods 💀💀💀
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When people are like "Yeah you got mental health issues but you made it through undergrad though right?" And it's like... Gunfire and sirens and screams of terror in my head
#as I typed this police sirens came up one of the other neighborhoods 💀💀💀#it's like 'use the skills you used then!'#no those were maladaptive skills and if you knew that you wouldn't want me to go that#i should NOT be doing those skills#I ran out of there for a reason#all that shit didn't happen for funsies this isn't a strong story with a good ending#it's a neverending journey to get better#I've been up a smooth 2 hours and my head hurts#...I need to confront how my PTSD seemingly went down because lockdown was a great time for me to not have to confront it#at the level that I have to confront a slew of triggers now#especially because I graduated only 3 months before#day 2 of 'break' is going phenomenal after a beautifully sucky day 1 🤦🏾♀️
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