#as if this isn't bad enough without the stupid comments 😐
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I'm pretty sure I can never let myself have any kind of surgery that isn't absolutely necessary ever again and it really kind of sucks
#I mean I'm having surgery on my eardrum next month... but that's such a short and simple procedure that it doesn't count#what I mean is - anything that involves having more than a tiny TINY wound/incision#anything that is enough to trigger my.. whatever the fuck this is. it feels like more than just anxiety.#and it's just.. so embarrassing?? people are so fucking awful about this kind of thing#especially doctors. sometimes I need to bring it up because it's relevant that I can't do x because I will faint if I try. and they always#act like that's so fucking silly and childish#as if this isn't bad enough without the stupid comments 😐#anyway I hate this and had kind of hoped it would be less severe now with the anxiety meds. but no there's been absolutely no change at all#which is upsetting.#why is medical stuff so fucking hard 😭#like I'm only in a very small amount of pain at this point and my brain still thinks my body is going to die if I even look at the#fucking bandages#from experience I know that won't go away for a while and it's so exhausting. so much worse than the pain#but!! all of it will be worth it if my gallbladder really was the cause of the pain attacks I had#I'd do anything so that I never have to experience that again#personal#tw surgery#tw medical
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