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things2mustdo · 4 years ago

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As you probably have heard in the news, earlier in August a Pennsylvania grand jury handed down a 1,356-page account of sexual abuse which involved around 1,000 kids and 300 priests during a period of approximately 70 years. It is another pedophilia scandal within the Catholic Church that adds up to their collection of countless other ones reported in recent years.

The commie pope—while on his two-day visit to Ireland—begged for forgiveness again, just the way he did in Chile back in January of this year.

You can notice how quick and scathing the mainstream media is to denounce these recurring events, after all we know who owns the MSM and the (real) Church has a long, well-known history of “anti-semitism” and resistance against the tentacles of globalism. I wish the media had the same commitment to inform the existence of other pedophile rings full of high-ranking people as well.

Is the problem of the church’s innumerous sexual abuse allegations really pedophilia? To me there is a deeper explanation for it, and that explanation is: homosexualism. 81% of the alleged victims are male and three-fourths of them are post-pubescent. As you guys are certainly aware of, the Church has a very big issue with homosexualism among its clergymen.

I have a theory for the high presence of gay men inside priesthood: until not long ago being gay was definitely not ok, homosexuals were not accepted as they are now, so they became priests.

The developed Western world of today encourages people to become gay, it applauds individuals for their gayness, but it wasn’t always like that. Now, try to imagine a closeted homosexual man living in the 50s, for example. What a better place to go than the Catholic seminary? People wouldn’t look you down, you wouldn’t have to get married, the place was filled with other young men (potential sexual partners) and that’s how the Church got corrupted by perverts.

Pedophilia x Homosexualism

One normie could argue “how homosexualism relates to pedophilia?” Any red-pilled person who has ever wondered what causes someone to become gay will notice that there is an undeniable link between pedophilia and homosexualism.

Let’s remember the occasion of Milo Yiannopolous’ resignation from Breitbart over comments which seemed to endorse sex between “younger men” and older men. Something that is—as he pointed out—extremely common among gay men. A 2009 report revealed that 74 percent of bisexuals had been sexually abused as children, I am pretty sure homosexuals follow the same numbers.

I won’t say homosexual behavior is exclusively caused by pedophilia because human (or animal) sexuality is a very complex topic which can certainly involve many variables. I just don’t buy that “born this way” hype, until this day not a single reliable proof of the existence of a gay gene or anything like it was discovered.

The Vatican once bought a £21 million apartment block above ‘Europe’s largest gay sauna’.

Pope Francis, a champion of the left-leaning agenda inside the Church, has been accused of covering up former Cardinal McCarrick’s abuse allegations (one of the many cases in Pennsylvania). The accusations were made by Carlo Vigano, a former Vatican ambassador to the US, and if it proves to be true–I am positive it is—that should result in pope Francis’ resignation. As a traditionalist Catholic myself I would be delighted with such an event.

Francis has already been complacent with other pedos before. One good example is the 2015 ‘Synod on the Family’ when the pope invited Godfried Danneels, a Belgium Cardinal convicted of covering up pedophiles in the 90s, to attend the meeting. Danneels is a hard-left priest that tries to push the Church ” liberal reformation” and admitted that he was part of a plot against (right-leaning) Pope Benedict and in favor of the election of leftie Francis.

To affirm that the Church’s gay/pedos are exclusively part of the left-wing priesthood would be too Manichean. I am sure there are tons of sick people who lean right also. But it can’t be denied that the liberals make up the vast majority of these issues involving sexual misconduct.

“Religious progressives”

For those who don’t know, the Catholic Church, just as any other political institution, is divided in factions that tend to be more liberal or orthodox. The liberation theology, for instance, is a movement created inside the Catholic Church (and some Protestant denominations) which aims to mix Christianity and Marxism.

Even if you are an agnostic don’t underestimate the influence they played in various regions such as Europe, Latin America and even New England. Brazilian Workers’ Party attributed their success to this movement and Unions.

Be wary of any religious leader that tries to push a liberalization of dogmas and traditions. Because all religions are intrinsically conservative according to their respective contexts, they establish doctrines that dictate sets of rules that must be followed properly in order to attain their objectives (whether is Salvation in Christianity or Nirvana in Buddhism). There are no (real) religions without their traditions.

Whenever you see liberal religious men doubt their characters. There is a good chance they don’t even bother with religion or spirituality, perhaps they are closeted atheist. What they do care about is the religious platform, which can offer various benefits such as large audiences, political influence, money and even sex.

Estimates of the number of gays in the priesthood are all over the lot, from 20 percent to 60 percent, although a Los Angeles Times poll in 2002 found only 15 percent of priests saying they were homosexual or “somewhere in between but more on the homosexual side.”

Every time pedo priests’ cases pop up in the MSM, secular people are very quick to point fingers and show their moral superiority, but they “forget” the existence of secular institutions that are way more sexually perverted than the “gayish” modern Church, such as Hollywood, the political and corporate world.

Real Church x Sissy Church

It is also important to notice that the Church was emasculated, an emasculation that took place during the process of secularization and establishment of liberal democracies across the Western world (e.g. French Revolution).

The Church had to be softened, becoming an institution that barely resembles the once powerful and great Church of the Crusades or the Inquisitions. This same phenom of emasculation can also happen in other secular institutions too, the Military, mainstream Music, Politics, Sports and even Boys Scouts. And it will only get worse as liberal-democratic globalism advances, so secular people: watch out!

St. Basil the Great, a 4th century bishop and Doctor of the Church, defended that gay/pedo priests should be publicly flogged. That was the (real) Church, not this sissy catholicism created after the Second Vatican Council (a modernist reform imposed in the Church from 1962 to 1965). A lot of things got bad in the 60s.

The (real) Church has a very important and vigorous story in the construction of the West. Always being a target to the globalists and that breed who rules the world, a clear obstacle to their goals.

Examples are many: Gabriel García Moreno, Catholic Equatorian president, who made a terrific job in a Confessional Equator and was killed by the Freemasons; Saint José Sanchez del Rio, who was killed by Mexican secular, freemason and leftist government with the support of the US, for refusing to abbandon his faith.

Inconvenient truths are ignored

The media only goes after what is convenient to their narrative, don’t expect them to expose Hollywood pedos nor the obvious link between pedo priests and homosexualism. The left has already pushed the normalization of pedophilia many times and I didn’t see the indignation of the MSM.

Late Vatican’s Chief Exorcist Gabriele Amorth once said, “The Devil resides in the Vatican and you can see the consequences��.

“The floor of hell is paved with the skulls of bishops”. – St. Athanasius

Read More: The Vatican Has Disgraced True Catholic Values

I have noticed that many people have been falsely conflating what comes out of the Vatican as Catholic. Thus it is my duty to present to the esteemed readers of this fine site the true teachings of the Church which stand, ever more so today, in stark opposition to the rot of cultural Marxism and the effeminacy of the Papal pretenders in Rome.

Vicar of Christ?

Church authorities are not legitimate

It is a dogma of the Catholic faith that the Church cannot substantially change. This means that the church cannot contradict nor change her teaching from what has always been universally taught or has been solemnly defined. Any one who claims to be Catholic and knowingly professes a faith which contradicts a teaching of the Church is considered to be a heretic and is considered to have a removed himself from the Church.

As St. Thomas states: “[one] who disbelieves [even] one article of faith does not have faith, either formed or unformed.” This is known as the unity of faith which means that all Catholics profess the same faith. Likewise it means that heretics cannot hold a clerical office in the Church. Thus if a heretic were to be elected even to the Papacy they could not be considered a legitimate Pontiff because a heretic has separated himself from the Church (source).

Would a real Pope bow to a religion declared false by the Church?

Simply put, you have to be Catholic to be Pope, and the absurdity of a heretic claiming the See of Peter is where we find ourselves today. For just as the institutions in the West have been infiltrated and seized by the enemy, likewise have the institutions of the Church been usurped by apostate forces. The hierarchy currently residing in the Vatican are not legitimate authorities and do not represent the perennial teaching of the Church. Therefore I have listed for your benefit the actual Church’s positions on some current areas of contention.

The only time Francis has ever smiled at a Crucifix

On Communism

The Catholic Church is vehemently opposed to communism. Without Pius XII valiant efforts, communism would have prevailed over postwar France and Italy. The Pope went so far as to issue the Decree against Communism in 1949 which excommunicated any Christian who professed communist doctrine.

Catholicism is the enemy of Marxism as it teaches that there can be no separation of Church and state, and an atheist government is immoral. Catholicism believes private property is a natural right going so far to say that depriving workers of their wages is a sin which cries to heaven for vengeance (compare that to our socialist tax code!).

On Migration and Culture

The current Muslim invasion of Europe would be met with the utmost resistance. It has always been the Church which has sought to safeguard Catholic Culture and in ages past has gone so far as to issue a call to arms against non-Catholics who have sought to destroy it.

Pope Urban II issued the Crusades and Pope Leo the great even went so far as to personally travel into the heart of the Hun army—to Attila himself—to deliver Rome from the sack that was to come. In 1571, St. Pope Pius V formed the Holy League that would go on to defeat the great Muslim Turkish Armada that was plaguing the Mediterranean.

“Then I pointed like so and told them where to take their cultural enrichment”

The tradition of the Church has been to unite the West against external non-christian threats in order to preserve Western Christian culture.

“The natural law enjoins us to love devotedly and to defend the country in which we were born, and in which we were brought up, so that every good citizen hesitates not to face death for his native land…. We are bound, then, to love dearly the country whence we have received the means of engagement this mortal life affords.” – Sapientia Christiana Encyclical Pope Leo XIII

On Abortion and Contraception

So what is the real teaching of the Church in regards to abortion and contraception? The teaching is any member who has an abortion or supports abortion is automatically excommunicated from the Church. That’s right: every single Democrat who claims to be Catholic is actually excommunicated, including Nancy Pelosi who likes to sanctimoniously drone how she is a good Catholic grandmother.

Contraception is also considered a mortal sin because it is an unnatural stoppage of life.

“Hence, after the sin of homicide whereby a human life already in existence is destroyed, this type of sin appears to take next place, for by it the generation of human nature is impeded.” -St. Thomas Aquinas.

I know this is unpopular with the readers, but the teaching is that those who engage in contraception have already committed murder in their heart. Contraception is what allows people to engage in recreational sex, because the natural end of sex has been set aside so too then has the institution of marriage, whose end is children.

Likewise, because we have committed murder in our hearts, we have become a petulant, immature, vain, and a sterile people similar to any other people who have taken the risk from reward or the consequences from pleasure. This is the most difficult pill to swallow.

On Feminism

The Church condemns feminism in the strongest terms. There cannot exist feminism without birth control.

“…any use whatsoever of matrimony exercised in such a way that the act is deliberately frustrated in its natural power to generate life is an offense against the law of God and of nature, and those who indulge in such are branded with the guilt of a grave sin.” -Pius XI Casti Cannubi

The Church asserts that Man is the head of the household and that a woman finds her vocation from being a good mother and housewife:

“This … does not deny or take away the liberty which fully belongs to the woman both in view of her dignity as a human person, and in view of her most noble office as wife and mother and companion; nor does it bid her obey her husband’s every request if not in harmony with right reason or with the dignity due to wife; … For if the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and as he occupies the chief place in ruling, so she may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love.” -Ibid

The Pope has even gone so far as to condemn women’s suffrage:

“Woman can never be man’s equal and cannot therefore enjoy equal rights. Few women would ever desire to legislate, and those who did would only be classed as eccentrics.” -St. Pius X

On Pacifism

The Catholic Church is not simply just a religion of love and mercy. Christianity is not a weak religion, for our God is a God of Battles. Catholic Tradition encourages us to live our lives in the manner of our Lord Jesus who spoke of the struggle that his Church would have to endure.

“Do not think that I am come to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword.”-Mathew 10:34

Christians are not meant to sit idly as bystanders to the great struggle of good and evil in this world.

“For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood: but against principalities and power, against the rulers of the world of this darkness: against the spirits of wickedness in the high places.” -Ephesians 6:12

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ailuronymy · 6 years ago

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Hey, I follow a WC YouTuber called Moonkitti and she'd uploaded a video called "Warrior Names". She kinda slams traditionalism and also demonstrates she has no idea what exactly it is. Like she shows some prefixes as examples which has Tree and Dirt as acceptable and Jay isn't, despite the inverse being true. I know she mentions she's not against it in concept, but that it was being enforced to limit others' creativity, but I have really mixed feelings about it and wanted to know your opinions.

Hello there, Ruddles! I hadn’t heard of this person before but I went and watched this video and I think I understand where your mixed feelings might be coming from. This video is trying to do a lot of things but, in my personal opinion, it’s doing none of them particularly well.

There’s three major things happening all at once: 1. a legitimate personal reflection about how certain traditionalists acted towards this person in the past and how that impacted her (4:50; 6:20); 2. an incorrect and misleading explanation of what traditionalism even is and very clearly no understanding of why it appeals to people, and therefore very little empathy towards people who use the style; (5:13; 6:00); and 3. (from an outsider stance as someone who likes deconstructing arguments for fun) a fascinatingly messy argument both in favour of Erin Hunter while using Erin Hunter’s various (and typically more incompetent) choices as justifications for… everything and anything.

It’s a mixed bag to be sure! To start with, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying that some people who use the traditional style are jerks. It’s very true. I remember those days too. Some people genuinely did crash forum threads just to mock and belittle other people. It was terrible and I think it’s totally legitimate to be upset about that.

I think the argument that everyone who uses traditionalism behaves that way is bad faith, however, and I also question the confirmation bias happening at 6:54, because I only ever see people talking about traditionalism for themselves, because that’s the spaces I hang out in. I wonder if Moonkitti has ever actually looked for traditional forums and sites, or if she’s just taken for granted that they don’t exist and everyone who uses the style is waging their own personal crusade. That’s not something I endorse in any way, by the way. Don’t anyone do that.

The second topic is personally the most frustrating because at points she’s almost right. But her definitions are incorrect and explanations simplify in a way that isn’t helpful to anyone. She’s not trying to actually give an account of the style and then point out the ways it doesn’t work or shouldn’t exist or anything like that: she’s half understood the idea and gone, “That sounds dumb.” This is in fact what she claims traditionalists say about other styles (7:22), which I disagree with: traditionalism is based mostly on having a set framework in place and then fairly rigorously debating what works and doesn’t within that world set-up. Plenty of names that are traditional sound pretty silly, but that doesn’t mean we knock them back wholesale. The whole point of the style is there is a method. Making judgments based on looser qualities, like sound or flow or imagery, is more of a lyrical approach.

Anyway, she doesn’t even seem to have gone to the effort of learning about it herself before deciding to preach. I think that’s tacky. It’s exasperating to me, because it’s not like there aren’t a ton of resources out there: if nothing else, traditionalists are good like that! We love lists and archives and referring to rules we’ve written out. That’s one of the things she’s correct about. She frequently refers to the fact that traditionalism is fan-made (2:25; 3:59; 6:45), but she does so as if this is a bad thing, which it’s not. Traditionalists are aware it’s fan-made: we are, after all, the fans who made it. That’s the whole idea.

Which brings me to the third topic: she doesn’t seem to fully understand why traditionalism exists and why it brings joy to people who use it. That’s an issue, because much of her argument is based around “well, canon.” She mischaracterises traditionalists as people who are “taking things too seriously” for being creative–i.e., she recognises that the entirety of traditionalism is fan-made, but can’t seem to understand why fans would elect to create rules to follow; it seems to cancel out the creativity in her world-view. She also repeatedly refers to the fact that she doesn’t need a traditional system to enjoy the Warriors world (0:26; 7:17; 8:28; 9:05)–to which I reply, your mileage may vary–and seems to look down on people who are pulled out of the story by “a silly name,” unlike her or Erin Hunter, who don’t take things “seriously.”

The major problem I have with this approach is that it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the value of good world-building–or even some idea of what it looks like. She claims a strict system would result in a boring story (which perhaps would be true for her, who knows: again, mileage may vary) (8:28), but the issue I have is that she says: “don’t get me wrong, warrior cats is not perfect, but the least of our troubles with the quality of these books is how strange these names are. Sure, Bouncefire sounds weird and doesn’t seem realistic, but if you’re worried about this story’s realism, consider the fact that we have about fifty cats who live together who barely gossip except if it’s about a housecat” (1:06).

She uses the word “realistic” throughout the whole video, as though the goal of using a traditional style is to make Warriors realistic, which in my opinion it’s not. Plausible, yes. Believable, yes. Cohesive, yes. But not realistic. These are, after all, talking cats with religion. I myself multiple times a year refer to the fact we’re all getting excited over “feral cats talking to stars in the forest.” There’s no pretense there! But the thing Moonkitti argues that actually makes me mad is that, because it’s not real, nothing matters.

And that’s absolutely horse-apples. It matters that the names in canon don’t have structure, because the world of Warriors doesn’t have structure and that is the underlying problem of the series. That is part of why the series is not well-written. The world doesn’t have structure or consistency in how it is built, and the run-on effect is that characters are frequently flat and their decisions–even their deaths–are regularly made meaningless by the world of the story. The world-building is inconsistent and poorly planned, and the run-on effect is that plots regularly force characters who are supposed to be intelligent or even an average amount of smart into being unbelievably stupid simply for the sake of furthering it, and the stakes of the stories are constantly forced to increase to squeeze any amount of impact out of the plots because the writing itself won’t do it.

There is no hierarchy from most to least when it comes to the quality troubles of Erin Hunter’s work. The issues in Warriors are not stand-alone. They are interconnected. It’s silly to pretend that transformative world-building, which is what traditionalism is, is somehow a superficial, ornamental thing and not simply another way for fans to mend some of what makes Warriors “not perfect,” like any other AU or fandom meta. Canon invented the name-change custom (7:43)–and repeatedly made it messy, and shameful, and had no idea what they wanted to go with. Traditionalism mended that and made it better. If you can recognise that the series isn’t perfect, I don’t think it’s a stretch to also recognise and acknowledge different ways of how fans react to and deal with those imperfections in fan-works, such as role-playing and fanfiction and OCs.

Moonkitti’s repetitions that this is a fantasy series and it’s not real so stop caring frankly reminds me a lot people who get uncomfortable and defensive when you analyse and discuss a piece of media in any kind of critical or thoughtful way and will tell you don’t be so serious. In my case, these people tend not to realise that, for me at least, this is fun--and it’s worthwhile and important to do. It’s also my actual job, in the daylight hours. (Here it’s just a hobby).

So tl;dr: Erin Hunter doesn’t take Warriors seriously–and that is the problem. The canon naming style is a symptom of how little effort Erin Hunter puts into consistent or meaningful world-building. Traditionalism exists as some fans’ attempt to craft a solution for themselves, and I include myself in that.

Moonkitti’s approach to explaining traditionalism from a place of 1. not being interested in understanding it and 2. being oddly defensive of Erin Hunter, the creative team behind all of canon’s terrible weird writing choices, rather than critical of said choices and choosing instead to blame fans for wanting canon to be better and then acting on that desire, feels a bit in bad faith to me. I’m sad to hear that she had such bad experiences with traditionalists in the past, because that’s awful, but I also feel strongly that it’s a good idea to know what you’re talking about before you step onto the stage like this.

For instance, she says, “There’s no real argument for why [certain] names [should] not be in the series,” (2:13), but, well. I’m here and this blog is my seven-years-and-counting argument. I like to think it’s often a persuasive one, too!

#good god this is long #ALSO it goes without saying but i'll say it just in case: no-one is to go to this person's channel and leave any kind of rude comment #i like to believe none of you would even think of that but i'm saying it now: don't.#if you don't like what she's said just move on and go do something nice. plant a flower. tell a friend you love them. do that kind of thing.

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zedncandler · 6 years ago

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So this is Candler, whose real name is Marcellus Hoar, and later Beezl, after he marries his lifetime crush Zedinal Beezl. They have two children together, and two grandchildren.

He is 6'10 and his "default age" (as in, the age I most often picture him as) is 27. He is abnormally tall for his race, which usually top out at most around 5'5. He is this tall because he has hormonal issues, which also cause him to have an extreme metabolism and issues with energy and sleep. He has to take medication to sleep well and to wake up properly. He tends to sleep curled around Zed or curled around a body pillow.

Depending on the part of the story we're talking about, Candler goes from scrawny, to lightly muscled but still underweight, and then after moving in with Zed and getting regular feedings, he gets some proper padding, and eventually as he gets older he gets a softer belly.

He is a candle-maker, and a former sex worker. He sells his candles in Zed's cafe. When the children are old enough to go to school and until they move out, Candler works in a factory to bring in extra money (although it certainly wasn't required). He retires back to helping Zed with the cafe after the kids move out.

He is a cis man and pansexual / omnisexual (I keep going back and forth on which), but leans gay.

He went by the pseudonym Candler Juarez for several years, taking the last name of his adoptive family, but his real name is Marcellus. Only his little sisters knew his real name until he finally told Zed.

Candler doesn't go by Candler anymore and doesn't like going by nicknames, because they remind him of the traumatic years he spent under his pseudonym, except Zed is allowed to call him Marcie.

He is incredibly allergic to almonds, and has problems with anxiety, PTSD, panic disorder, and might be autistic.

Candler's best friend is a cishet man named Seth who owns a very successful sex shop, and is an amateur filmmaker who records homemade porn for customers, who also helps local sex workers find clients. Candler wound up under the latter but they really hit it off. Candler has hit on Seth a few times but it's all in good humour.

He is triggered by things around his neck, except for body parts. Meaning, he is triggered by necklaces, rope, ties, etc. He can stand a high collar, as long as it's wide/open rather than being against his neck and throat. He goes into a panic attack when something is put around his neck.

And thanks to his experience with abuse, he was terrified of even being affectionate with Zed around his sisters and around his children. He just doesn't want to traumatize them like he was traumatized. It isn't until the kids are teenagers that he finally starts to relax about it.

His tail is long and strong, and can twist in tight coils like a snake can. However, for his race, tails are incredibly personal, so it is incredibly rude to touch it, almost comparable to touching someone's breasts/chest without permission. If you are touched by the tail of someone of his race, it's considered a very serious sign of affection, intimacy, etc.

He has like no body hair because his race doesn't grow a lot of hair outside their head and their tails. The fur on their tails is lighter than their head hair, but the poof on the end can be any colour or combination of colours.

He has ram horns growing from the sides of his head that don't stop growing, so he has to sheer them.

More information about his race's anatomy here.

He likes to wear pretty dresses but feels embarrassed about doing it publicly. He's fine around his own family, and often was the princess in distress when his kids played pretend with him.

His favourite colours are blue and green. He likes cats and posts cat memes on Facebook when he gets older. He also likes to dance but isn't good at it. He typically likes electronic dance music or anything like it.

After the kids are older, he gets a tattoo across his torso, of dandelions and green leaves/grass, because Zed's favourite flower is dandelions.

He has two twin little sisters, named Tamantha and Tiffany.

Here are a five songs that remind me of Candler:

Sofi Tukker - Batshit

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)

Basic Element - Queen of Love

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch

Sin With Sebastian - Shut Up (And Sleep With Me)

NSFW details below the back story, so you guys don't have to read it if you don't want to.

His backstory is this:

TW for pedophilia, sexual abuse, rape, child abuse

Candler was born into an abusive family. His family was also traditionalist with his race's values of having as many kids as possible, and they also always have twins, triplets, etc, but his parents had a hard time conceiving. Candler only had 3 older siblings, and was born with a stillborn twin. His parents were warned that if either survived the pregnancy that they would likely be developmentally delayed... whether that turned out true or not is hard to say, because they immediately assumed he was and treated him poorly for it.

They treated him terribly, basically taking out their frustrations on him, including not letting him go to school and leaving him alone at home, and not getting him any toys or clothes or anything. In fact, the first time they left him with a babysitter, he was genuinely afraid they would never come back - because they would definitely be back for their stuff, but if he’s not at home then they have no reason to come back.

But it was when he was being left at a babysitter's that he met Zed, and Zed was basically the only kid who was nice to him and actually wanted to be his friend (because the other kids took from the adults, who took from his parents that he was a problem child). He developed a crush on Zed, but never got to express it because he was so painfully shy. At this time, Candler was 9 and Zed was 5, but because Candler was so small and scrawny, Zed assumed they were the same age, and Candler was too shy to ever ask.

Soon after his little twin sisters were born, and then they all three got dropped off at an orphanage.

The orphanage was really awful and this was when he first experienced sexual abuse. The man who ran it took an interest in him and basically forced him to be around him all the time, and the man was an evil, violent man that exposed Candler to sex as well as murder in one instance. The nurses of the orphanage had been preparing a case against him to get the place shut down and him arrested, but he was warned before the raid and kidnapped Candler, while Candler's little sisters went to a proper home. They'd be separated until he was an adult.

The man left him with a poor family that he had power over so that he knew they’d never turn him in for child abuse and kidnapping. Out of fear of the man, they didn't let Candler attend school or even go to the doctor's. In fact, they often dealt with any time Candler was sick with a fake doctor that was conning them, often making Candler sicker and messing with him bad, which is how Candler developed his phobia of doctors, needles, and medicine. Originally I had written this was how he got ridiculously tall and other hormonal problems but that seems far-fetched.

His hypersexuality started emerging and the orphanage man found out by discovering him masturbating and was disgusted by it, cutting the family off entirely for "ruining" him, putting them in more financial straits but at the same time relieving them of this evil man and letting them parent Candler at least a little more securely, though they were still afraid to let him go to school. Eventually he started wandering and is preyed on by a guy who claimed to just be "teaching" him how things work, and that left him more reclusive and unsure how to handle his sexuality, and he didn't want to talk about it.

He gets picked up by a man in the gang he would eventually join, who skews his idea of sexuality even further by hammering in the whole "if your body reacts then you like it and it’s not rape" bullshit and basically making him his sex slave throughout the rest of his teen years, particularly through keeping him on a choke chain and demanding he wear it whenever he was with him. Through this man he would be made to "perform" for others in the gang, be used as a bartering tool, be attacked in other violent ways, be forced to attack others, etc. He developed anger issues, violent tendencies, suicidal thoughts, the idea that sex is bad/gross, etc and wound up leaving his family and then within the same week killing the man, both in a fit of rage. The messed up manner of hierarchy of the gang meant this let him "move up" which meant less traumatic events happened after this, but he had to developed some wits in order to avoid getting back in that position, and it didn’t always work (tw rape)...

Through this gang and sex work he was able to purchase an old, old storefront that... basically was just two rooms, a big front room and a back room, and lived in it, only a bed and a toilet and a little refrigerator. He learned candle-making from his adoptive family and tried to make a "decent" living, but couldn’t keep his hours, or stay neat, and the place was pretty... run down and creepy-looking. So he never really got to leave that gang as it was his main source of finances... until Zed heard about a struggling local business owner and sent him some money as a show of goodwill, thus he found his childhood friend again.

Through all this trauma he had been using memories of Zed to cope with it all, which is how he developed his unhealthy obsession with Zed.

So when he realized this was the same Zed he had known as a kid, he was through the roof happy.

However because of that unhealthy obsession he was often a harassing nuisance more than anything, constantly hitting on him, having no idea about personal space, etc. But he managed to worm into Zed’s heart at least enough that, when it came time again that Candler had no money, Zed invited him to live with him so he wouldn’t have to be doing the dangerous things he was doing for money, which was incredibly shocking to Candler because he had never had anyone be so genuinely caring to him (besides his sisters), and through all the trauma he endured he had kind of gotten the idea that he wasn’t a person either. So even though he had idolized Zed this whole time, it was still shocking. Although, he later realized just how much his adoptive family tried for him, and makes up with them later.

After some time of living together, Candler realized Zed had been sexually assaulted because Zed had a shut down from Candler's pestering, recognizing symptoms he had himself in Zed's behaviour, and made a promise to pull back the shenanigans while also swearing to find his assailant and killing them. Not long after, Zenidal, Zed's sister and rapist, tried to attack Zed again and Candler walked in on it, and managed to get Zed away from her and beat her up. From Zed’s point of view she never bothered him again after that and he assumed she had finally become a better person, but in reality Candler kidnapped her and left her for dead among his gang mates.

After that the two got closer, with Candler not only becoming less abusive but also just in general learning gradually about all the things that are Not Okay that he had internalized. He was quickly coming to realize that what he was doing wasn’t really love, but obsession. He became a much better person, which was when Zed finally started getting more feelings for him. But because of his own trauma, Zed was freaking out. He had never really had a sexual interest in his life and was confused and afraid of his feelings. A lot of confusion and awkward stuff happened but eventually Zed confessed his feelings and they got together. There was still more confusion and awkward stuff for a while, though, as they both worked towards a healthier idea about relationships and stuff. It is when Zed confesses that Candler reveals to him his real name is Marcellus.

Then Candler tried to escape the gang he was in, which then attacked Zed, which lead to Zed being told that Candler had killed people, including Zed’s sister, and supposedly had assaulted people, which made Zed question their entire relationship. But before he could really deal with that, Candler was hospitalized and put into a coma over the rescue attempt, and Zed discovered Candler had been planning to propose, which made things... a lot harder to deal with. But he still loves Candler, and when Candler comes to, Zed demands he talk about literally everything in his life. Which did mean confessions of violence, but as it turned out the sexual abuse was actually “by proxy” (as in, he was being forced with physical violence and death threats, and this all happened while he was a teen, so *he* didn’t actually do it). For a while it was very awkward between them, it was difficult to wrestle with, but in the end Zed forgave him, because most of it was retaliation and, again, Zed still loved him.

They got married soon after that, and soon after that they discovered Zed was pregnant, which turned out to be twins, and that was some incredible hardship for both of them but everything turned out. The reason Zed became pregnant was literally a miracle - the god of their world, Tito, has a mortal disguise of which Zed and Candler knew personally, and the demigod Nanny was created by Tito as a way to take care of himself, and so as Nanny’s last kid he decided to grant Zed a brief moment of fertility as a “wedding present”. Of course they don’t know he’s really a god and that he did that, they just know there was a miracle and they couldn't be happier. Their names are Vincent, who goes by Vinny, and is a boy, and Josephine, who goes by Jo and is nonbinary and goes by fae pronouns. Later, their son marries a trans girl named Paisley and they adopt a child of their own, a 5 year old boy named Jubilee. Jo helped them adopt, and then got sort of jealous and so adopted a teenage boy and is a single parent.

And Candler never really thought he’d live past the age of 30, but now he's a grandpa. How crazy is that!?

NSFW details:

His dick is 6.8 inches and he's a shower, not a grower. He is intact, as circumcision does not exist in his world. He is also notably thicker than human average, with bigger balls too. However, this isn't unusual for his race, and despite his hormonal problems he's only slightly larger than

their

average. He also has a huge load, but that's average for his race too.

He's a switch but he leans more to the submissive side, especially for Zed. He likes having his ass pounded hard, likes a little bit of BDSM. He likes being teased and doing the teasing. Again, he's hypersexual, so when Zed shows initiative it really excites him.

However, he is also triggered by consuming his own cum, thanks to a specific instance in which he was abused that way.

He humps in his sleep, but it's not always sexual. He does definitely sleep fuck though. He often doesn't remember it, only waking up enough to finish the act. It's also not unusual to find him sucking Zed's cock in his sleep, like one might suck pacifier, but he never remembers that.

He has problems with premature ejaculation, especially in connection to anxiety.

#candler #zed n candler #art #gift art #refs

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fatehbaz · 7 years ago

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Brief Introduction to the Neoreactionary Movement, the Dark Enlightenment, and the Left’s Response (for non-weirdos - with sources!)

I’ve recently received a couple of messages asking where you can learn about how New Atheists, nihilists, and other formerly moderate groups were targeted and lured by far-right racists during Gamergate, ultimately coalescing around the global, far-right Neoreactionary (NRx) movement. So, I prepared a quick primer exploring the key concepts, ideologies, philosophies, origins, and thought-leaders of the two branches of Neoreactionary movement, the Dark Enlightenment and the Traditionalists. I also cover the Left’s use of the same philosophical concepts and how certain groups on the Left are countering this movement. I hope this helps to understand what is rapidly becoming a formidable and popular force. If you do not have time to read, please do not overlook the 3 most important links that best recount the birth and growth of the movement: Harrison Fluss and Landon Frim, Salvage magazine, December 2017, “Behemoth and Leviathan: The Fascist Bestiary of the Alt-Right”: http://salvage.zone/in-print/behemoth-and-leviathan-the-fascist-bestiary-of-the-alt-right/ Yuk Hui, e-flux, 2017, “On the Unhappy Consciousness of Neoreactionaries”: https://www.e-flux.com/journal/81/125815/on-the-unhappy-consciousness-of-neoreactionaries/ Park MacDougald, The Awl, 2015, “The Darkness Before the Right” https://www.theawl.com/2015/09/the-darkness-before-the-right/ PART ONE: What is the Neoreactioanary movement? I apologize that I’m away from home doing summer research stuff, so I’m not near my hard-drive with better lists of sources, but I think I have some fun recommendations for (1.1) introductions to the two branches of the Neoreactionary movement; (1.2) New Atheism’s fusion with the movement; and (1.3) the degree to which Neoreactionaries influence popular culture. 1.1 -- Introduction to the two branches of the Neoreactioanry movement: Sources for exploring the Neoreactioanry (NRx) movement would depend on which “half” of the movement you are interested in, since NRx is split into two distinct ideologies: (1) the Dark Enlightenment, and (2) the Traditionalists. Both branches of NRx are united in how they both openly hate modernity; are passionately Counter-Enlightnement; irrationalist; want to disband democracy; explicitly abhor multiculturalism; want to reverse egalitarianism; are Social Darwinist; and value meritocracy and hierarchy. Both movements also subscribe to a sort of nihilistic mysticism based on object-oriented ontology, which began as a radical left-wing, quasi-Marxist philosophy before being co-opted when Nick Land defected from Marxism to become the de facto founder and leader of the Dark Enlightenment. Nick Land is probably the single most important individual to learn about; he is definitely the thought-leader of NRx, and his writing has certainly been the most influential in attracting new recruits. He’s like an honest-to-god apocalypse-cultist and cyberpunk villain; though that description would flatter him, because he loves cyberpunk as a genre and much of his writing makes use of cyberpunk tropes. So, the current alliance-of-convenience between the Dark Enlightenment techno-commercialist futurists and the tribalistic, ethnonationalist Traditionalists is because they both genuinely want to facilitate the acceleration of neoliberal decay to provoke an apocalyptic collapse of global economic order. Following such a collapse, Dark Enlightenment people hope to establish a global technocracy ruled by "high-IQ" Silicon Valley-type tech geniuses to implement unfettered commercialism; whereas Traditionalists would establish tribal ethnostates under the ultimate leadership of a Russia-type military defender of its status quo. One of the best and most thorough introductions to the quasi-mystical ideology of the NRx, and the alliance-of-convenience relationship between both branches of NRx, is in the 2017 article at Salvage by Harrison Fluss and Landon Frim, “Behemoth and Leviathan: The Fascist Bestiary of the Alt-Right”. A quick summary of the distinctions between the two branches: (1) Traditionalists -- value Orthodoxy, especially religious; kind of isolationist and primitivist; love ethnonationalism; races are inherently different; want to escape modernity by reverting to the past with pre-Enlightenment values; describe themselves philosophically as Arctogaians; think of themselves as earth-bound and tribalistic; believe civilization decays and collapses naturally; idealize modern Russia as a model; includes many occultists, neopagans, and mystical fascists in the vein of Julius Evola (2) The Dark Enlightenment / techo-commercialists -- value secular hierarchy; want to escape modernity and Enlightenment by propelling into a technocratic future; believe the masses should be left to starve and only the smartest should hold power (to be fair, they propose giving “the plebs” a universal basic income to keep them satiated and prevent revolt); think of themselves as contemporary pirates, like corporate raiders; idealize modern Chinese authoritarian capitalism as a model Thought-leader of Traditionalists: Aleksandr Dugin Thought-leaders of the Dark Enlightenment: Nick Land, Mencius Moldbug, Peter Thiel A quick note about the relationship between Silicon Valley and the Dark Enlightenment: Peter Thiel is the notorious co-founder of Paypal, the founder of Palantir, a close friend of Trump, the guy who personally paid for the lawsuit that took-down Gawker, and a close friend of Nick Land. Thiel’s Palantir literally tracks online movements and behavior of everyone it comes into contact with, creating behavior profiles of pretty much anyone online. Thiel is open about his desire to have authoritarian capitalist governments use similar technology to enforce social order in times of upheaval. He’s a good example of what the Dark Enlightenment envisions for the future: technocratic micro-states and wholly unregulated corporate control. This isn’t an un-fair characterization; they are open about these desires. 1.2 -- New Atheist fusion with NRx: During Gamergate, it seems that (1) New Atheists merged with (2) the Manosphere, (3) Traditionalists, and (4) the Dark Enlightenment to form a more clearly-defined misogynist core of the NRx. So, by taking a look at how formerly moderate internet communities gradually coalesced into a powerful, ambitious movement, we can identify some of the core values and concerns of the Neoreactionary movement generally, using New Atheists as a case study in radicalization. A brief but accessible description of how this coalescing happened is nicely explored in Alex Dibranco’s “Mobilizing Misogyny” (2017), which traces the gradual fusion of internet atheists with pick-up-artist communities and Traditionalists until the alt-right emerged. (Linked below). DiBranco does a good job recounting how the internet, even in the 90′s, had always been a cesspool of misognyny and a hub of radicalization for misogynists. She recounts how the early internet pick-up-artist (PUA) culture and Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) slowly evolved and gradually became mainstream. Meanwhile, on a different trajectory, the already-radical identitarians and neofascist communities began to deliberately recruit moderate misogynists by appealing to their frustration with empowered women. This proved an effective recruiting tactic.DiBranco demonstrates how formerly moderate “skeptics” and “rationalists” were deliberately targeted by more-radical racist communities; they lured New Atheists into their fold by appealing first to misogynist language and masculine posturing of Gamergate, before ultimately persuading them with additional racist rhetoric. Another great discussion of this coalescing is the more-informal but still-thorough 2017 Salon article by Phil Torres, “From the Enlightenment to the Dark Ages: How ‘new atheism’ slid into the alt-right.” (Linked below) It is specifically the Dark Enlightenment branch of NRx which has attracted the New Atheists. The Dark Enlightenment branch is attractive to New Atheists because the movement is secular, nihilistic, led by Silicon Valley tech-bros, and believes in unregulated commercialism and governance by those with the highest IQ - qualities shared by the “skeptic” community. 1.3 – To what extent does NRx influence popular culture? How serious is this movement? Should we be worried? Yep. It’s bad and you should be worried. I think it’s important to note that the NRx movement is the truer, grander ideological force behind the relatively cruder alt-right and Trumpism. The Dark Enlightenment in particular, through the sardonic, self-aware, and tech-savvy writing of Nick Land, has attracted the most young men to the movement. I think two of the very best introductions to the cultural appeal, and ideology of the Dark Enlightenment are these: Yuk Hui, e-flux, 2017, “On the Unhappy Consciousness of Neoreactionaries”: https://www.e-flux.com/journal/81/125815/on-the-unhappy-consciousness-of-neoreactionaries/ Park MacDougald, The Awl, 2015, “The Darkness Before the Right” https://www.theawl.com/2015/09/the-darkness-before-the-right/ A good measure of how NRx is quickly becoming a formidable cultural force would be to observe how the Intellectual Dark Web (IDW) led by Jordan Peterson has lately been legitimizing in mainstream media over the past year. I think that this is the very best exploration of the cultural power of, and a great refutation of, the Intellectual Dark Web: Brent Cooper, Medium, 2018, “Enlightening the Intellectual Dark Web: Calling Out the Public Discourse for Lack of Criticality” https://medium.com/the-abs-tract-organization/enlightening-the-intellectual-dark-web-41f3a1e81b3e If you enjoy beautiful, critical debate (and if you find it cathartic to see Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro get put in their place) you will love this! PART TWO: Key concepts to know Shared post-postmodern concepts driving Neoreaction and the Left’s new theories, alike: -- object-oriented ontology (originating with Graham Harman; used by Dark Enlightenment and others on Left) -- neoliberalism, globalized finance capital -- speculative realism -- weird realism (Graham Harman) -- capitalist realism (Mark Fisher) -- Chthulucene (purposely misspelled, by Donna Harraway) Neoreactionary concepts / topics: -- Nick Land (founder of Dark Enlightenment) -- The Dark Enlightenment -- accelerationism -- Traditionalism -- the Intellectual Dark Web, Jordan Peterson -- Eurasianism -- right-wing transhumanism -- thought-leader Mencius Moldbug -- mystical fascism and Julius Evola -- Peter Thiel (Silicon Valley far-right leader) -- Palantir (surveillance tech from Thiel) -- Nazi jurist Carl Schmitt -- neofeudalism -- Asatru, Volk, esoteric Nazism The Left’s answer to the nihilist/mystical NRx concepts: -- conceptualizations of the Anthropocene, the Capitalocene, and Donna Harraway’s Chthulucene (purposefully misspelled) -- cosmopolitics -- Graham Harman’s “weird realism” -- Mark Fisher’s “retrofuturism” -- dark ecology (articulated by Tim Morton) -- hyperobjects (articulated by Tim Morton) -- Deleuze and Gauttari, their concept “capitalism and schizophrenia” and the “geophilosophy” concept -- the ontological turn in anthropology -- multi-naturalism, animism, totemism, and panpsychism as alternative perspectives of assigning realness to objects in non-Western cosmologies PART THREE: The Left’s relationship with object-oriented ontology. and it’s answer to the Dark Enlightenment I’m going to make this embarrassingly brief and sloppy and lazy. So if anyone wants to know more about this section, let me know, because I’ve made some big generalizations. Here’s how the object-oriented ontologists and dark ecologists of the radical left are using similar philosophies to counter the NRx movement. Nick Land, the thought-leader of the Dark Enlightenment, was originally friends with a group of leftists now working to counter the inevitability of neoliberalism. These leftists include, most prominently, Graham Harman, Tim Morton, and the late Mark Fisher. All of these people, in the mid-90’s, were originally interested in cyberpunk and futurist media, so they got together in study groups to assess Information Age technology’s effects on globalized culture. But Nick Land went on an amphetamine binge, moved to Shanghai, and became a far-right ideologue before writing seminal “The Dark Enlightenment” text. Mark Fisher (in early and mid 2000’s) used music, pop culture, retrofuturist cyberpunk aesthetics, and fiction in late capitalist culture to demonstrate how haunted the neoliberal imagination had become – leading to the articulation of capitalist realism. And then, his friend Graham Harman took this aesthetically-informed anti-capitalism and took more cues from horror literature and sublime experiences – giving us weird realism, speculative realism, and object-oriented ontology. Finally, Timothy Morton applied object-oriented ontology to human-ecology relationships and environmentalism to conceive of a new human approach to the crisis of the Anthropocene, and so we get dark ecology, which is basically how indigenous environmental knowledge is incorporated into environmental geography/anthropology, a sort of secular re-mythologization of the world. Mark Fisher, Graham Harman, and Tim Morton all had/have a close relationship with Zero Books. I think that Zero Books (check their webpage and YouTube channel) is perhaps the best and most easily accessible site to explore the Left’s use of object-oriented ontology to respond to the NRx movement. Some great, brief introductions to dark ecology, the ontological turn in anthropology, and the use of object-oriented ontology in building equitable Marxian society are included below. PART FOUR: Quick references Introduction to the ideology of the Neoreactionary (NRx) movement: 1 – A great intro to the philosophies, esotericism, and mysticism that drives the thinking of NRx, and an exceptional examination of what differentiates the two distinct branches – Harrison Fluss and Landon Frim, Salvage magazine, December 2017, “Behemoth and Leviathan: The Fascist Bestiary of the Alt-Right”: http://salvage.zone/in-print/behemoth-and-leviathan-the-fascist-bestiary-of-the-alt-right/ 2 – A longer, but even better, exploration of the beliefs, motivations, and leaderss of NRx – Yuk Hui, e-flux, 2017, “On the Unhappy Consciousness of Neoreactionaries”: https://www.e-flux.com/journal/81/125815/on-the-unhappy-consciousness-of-neoreactionaries/ 3 – A great discussion of and refutation of Nick Land and the Dark Enlightenment, very entertaining and cathartic – Park MacDougald, The Awl, 2015, “The Darkness Before the Right”: https://www.theawl.com/2015/09/the-darkness-before-the-right/ Relationship between New Atheists and NRx: 1 – Academic article summarizing how the New Atheists joined racists, the Manosphere, and pick-up artists during Gamergate – Ani Dibranco, 2017, “Mobilizing Misogyny” -- http://www.politicalresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/PE_Winter2017_DiBranco.pdf 2 – An engaging and expansive Salon article that gives a the run-down on how moderate atheists turned into the alt-right, really good stuff – Phil Torres, Salon, 2017, “From the Enlightenment to the Dark Ages: How ‘new atheism’ slid into the alt-right”: https://www.salon.com/2017/07/29/from-the-enlightenment-to-the-dark-ages-how-new-atheism-slid-into-the-alt-right/ The Left’s answer to neoreactioanry nihilism; leftist use of object-oriented ontology and dark ecology 1 -- What is the ontological turn in anthropology, and how are indigenous and non-Western views being incorporated in environmental and cultural studies? --> Adrian J. Ivakhiv, “On animism, multinaturalism, and cosmopolitics” (2011) - http://blog.uvm.edu/aivakhiv/2011/01/10/on-animism-multinaturalism-cosmopolitics/ 2 -- What is Tim Morton’s concept of “dark ecology”? --> Tim Morton -- “What is Dark Ecology?” http://www.changingweathers.net/en/episodes/48/what-is-dark-ecology 3 -- What are speculative realism and weird realism? Here is an intro to Graham Harman and these concepts which have since been co-opted by the Dark Enlightenment. --> Brian Kim Stefans, 2013 – “Let’s Get Weird: On Graham Harman’s H.P. Lovecraft”-- https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/lets-get-weird-on-graham-harmans-h-p-lovecraft/ :)

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bizarropurugly · 8 years ago

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Quicky summary of Zed and Candler’s lives under cut

tw for rape mention, pedophilia mention, child abuse, pregnancy mention, etc

Zed first:

Zed was given up for adoption as a baby by his parents because of traditionalist values they had about fertility, and it had been determined zed would never be able to have kids. They gave him to a demigod named Nanny who took care of kids without families, and he was her last child. He had a pretty happy childhood in which he knew Candler briefly (Candler would soon after be put up for adoption by his abusive family), and he was homeschooled but still had plenty of socialization.

He had a girlfriend for a while as a teen but when she found out he was unisex (everyone in his race has the same body parts) she broke up with him over some cissexist crap, which made him realize he wasn't really interested in relationships at the moment? Instead he focused on his studies, having decided he wanted to be a baker. He was a good student so he got into advanced placement stuff, and started college early.

That's when his sister Zen found him, who was excited to reintroduce him to their family and invited him over to her apartment. But it turned out to be a trap, she had lured him to a hotel and sexually assaulted him repeatedly, implying she was going to kill him. She dehumanized him severely by stating his lack of fertility made him not a person anymore, and kept calling him slut/whore/bitch during the act. He managed to escape but in the process fell off a balcony so he was sent to the hospital by bystanders, but nobody saw her and he refused to turn her in. After that he became incredibly docile and passive and an easy target for cruel people, and didn't get into relationships at all, period, not even friendships. This was compounded by the fact his sister kept finding him and tormenting him further.

But he managed to become a successful baker and bought a building that was a cafe on the ground floor and a home on the second floor. Some time later he heard about a local craft shop that was under threat of closure, and he sent them some goodwill and money. Turns out it was a shop Candler had opened to sell candles and other wax items, and he came to see Zed and was incredibly excited to meet with him again. However he had a unhealthy obsession with Zed and was often a harassing nuisance more than anything, constantly hitting on him, having no idea about personal space, etc. But he managed to worm into Zed's heart at least enough that, when it came time again that Candler had no money, Zed invited him to live with him so he wouldn't have to be doing the dangerous things he was doing for money.

After some time of living together, Candler realized Zed had been sexually assaulted because Zed had a shut down from Candler's pestering, recognizing his own behaviour in Zed's lack of response, and made a promise to pull back the shenanigans while also swearing to find his assailant and killing them. Not long after, Zen tried to attack Zed again and Candler walked in on it, and managed to get Zed away from her and beat her up. From Zed's point of view she never bothered him again after that and he assumed she had finally become a better person, but in reality Candler kidnapped her and left her for dead among his gang mates.

After that the two got closer, with Candler not only being less abusive but also just in general learning gradually about all the things that are Not Okay that he had internalized, and that what he was doing wasn't really love, but obsession. He became a much better person, which was when Zed finally started getting more feelings for him. But of course, it was freaking him out because of the years of repression, the history of abuse, etc, he had never really had a sexual interest in his life. A lot of confusion and awkward stuff happened but eventually Zed confessed his feelings and they got together. Still more confusion and awkward stuff for a while, though, as they both work towards a healthier idea about relationships and stuff.

Some drama happened in which Candler tried to escape the gang he was in, which then attacked Zed, which lead to Zed being told that Candler had killed people, including Zed's sister, and supposedly had assaulted people, which made Zed question their entire relationship of course, but before he could really deal with that, Candler was hospitalized and put into a coma over the rescue attempt, and Zed discovered Candler had been planning to propose, which made things... a lot harder to deal with. When Candler comes to, Zed demands he talk about literally everything in his life, which meant confessions of violence, though the sexual abuse was actually "by proxy" (as in, he was being forced with physical violence and death threats, and this all happened while he was a teen, so *he* didn't actually do it). For a while it was very awkward between them, it was difficult to wrestle with, but in the end Zed forgave him.

They get married soon after that, and soon after that they discover Zed is pregnant, which turns out to be twins, and that was some incredible hardship for both of them but everything turns out. The reason Zed became pregnant was literally a miracle - the god of their world, Tito, has a mortal disguise of which Zed and Candler knew personally, and the demigod Nanny was created by Tito as a way to take care of himself, and so as Nanny's last kid he decided to grant Zed a brief moment of fertility as a "wedding present". Of course they don't know he's really a god and that he did that, they just know there was a miracle and they couldn't be happier.

And now Candler:

Candler was born into an abusive family. His family was also traditionalist with his race's values of having as many kids as possible, and they also always have twins, triplets, etc, but his parents had a hard time conceiving. Candler only had 3 older siblings, and was born with a stillborn twin. They treated him terribly, basically taking out their frustrations on him, including not letting him go to school and leaving him alone at home, and not getting him any toys or clothes or anything. In fact, the first time they left him with a babysitter, he was genuinely afraid they would never come back - because they would definitely be back for their stuff, but if he's not at home then they have no reason to come back.

But it was when he was being left at a babysitter's that he met Zed, and Zed was basically the only kid who was nice to him and actually wanted to be his friend (because the other kids took from the adults, who took from his parents that he was a problem child). He developed a crush on Zed, but never got to express it because he was so painfully shy. After his little twin sisters were born, they all three got dropped off at an orphanage.

The man left him with a poor family that he had power over so that he knew they'd never turn him in for child abuse and kidnapping. Out of fear of the man, they didn't let Candler attend school or even go to the doctor's. In fact, they often dealt with any time Candler was sick with a fake doctor that was conning them, often making Candler sicker and messing with him bad, which is how Candler developed his phobia of doctors, needles, and medicine. Originally I had written this was how he got ridiculously tall and other hormonal problems but that seems far-fetched.

His hypersexuality started emerging and the orphanage man found out and was disgusted by it, cutting the family off entirely for "ruining" him, putting them in more financial straits but at the same time relieving them of this evil man and letting them parent Candler at least a little more securely, though they were still afraid to let him go to school. Eventually he starts wandering and is preyed on by a guy who claimed to just be "teaching" him how things work, and that leaves him more reclusive and unsure how to handle his sexuality, and he doesn't want to talk about it.

He gets picked up by a man in the gang he would eventually join, who skews his idea of sexuality even further by hammering in the whole "if your body reacts then you like it and it's not rape" and basically making him his sex slave throughout the rest of his teen years, particularly through keeping him on a choke chain and demanding he wear it whenever he was with him. Through this man he would be made to "perform" for others in the gang, be used as a bartering tool, be attacked in other violent ways, be forced to attack others, etc. He developed anger issues, violent tendencies, suicidal thoughts, the idea that sex is bad/gross, etc and wound up leaving his family and within the same week killing the man, both in a fit of rage. The messed up hierarchy way of the gang meant this let him "move up" which meant less traumatic events happened after this, but he had to develope some wits in order to avoid getting back in that position, and it didn't always work...

Through this gang and sex work he was able to purchase an old, old storefront that... basically was just two rooms, a big front room and a back room, and lived in it, only a bed and a toilet and a little refrigerator. He learned candle-making from his adoptive family and tried to make a "decent" living, but couldn't keep his hours, or stay neat, and the place was pretty... run down and creepy looking. So he never really got to leave that gang as it was his only place of finances... until Zed sent him some money as a show of goodwill, and he found his childhood friend again. Through all this trauma he had been using memories of Zed to cope with it all. Which is how he developed his unhealthy obsession with Zed. So when he realized this was the same Zed he had known as a kid, he was through the roof happy.

But then he still couldn't maintain his finances, and Zed had learned about that he was doing dangerous things to make money, so he offered him a place to live so he wouldn't have to, which was incredibly shocking to Candler because he had never had anyone be so genuinely caring to him, and he had kind of gotten the idea that he wasn't a person either. So even though he had idolized Zed this whole time, it was still shocking. And this is where we converge with what I said about Zed's backstory. Except it's a bit more emotional from his end because he never really thought he'd live past the age of 30.

(As an additional note here: Candler’s name is actually Marcellus, but he went by Candler since he started living with his adopted family as a false name, and only his twin sisters knew his real name, until Candler finally told Zed, after which he no longer went by it from anyone. He does not like nicknames at all because of all the trauma he went through under his false name.)

#zed n candler

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