#as shown by how fucking long I talked about his flaws 💀

[andro-dino]

For the OC Ask, how about number 6, 7, 23, and 24 for Ezekial and Luther?

What do they like the least about themself?

Luther would say his weakness, which for him in the present means being unable to completely kill the part of himself that still care. If he was a little younger, his answer would be the same but instead it would mean his inability to stand up for himself.

Ezekial’s would be his poor manner of speaking. He always worries that he can’t say the right thing, that maybe, if he’d said something sooner or if he asked the right questions, things would’ve turned out better. He’s afraid that his constant need for deflection and humor makes it harder for people to take him seriously, or that he’s accidentally aggravated people without meaning to because he didn’t know anything better to say. It’s one of the things that keeps him up at night, and also partially what keeps him so set on making things up with Luther. This time, he’s determined to say the right thing.

What is the thing they like the most about themself?

Luther prides himself on his ability to keep his composure. He never lets anything slip through the cracks and is always able to keep a straight face and a level head. Even on the rare occasion he needs to dirty his own hands, he never lets anything show more than he needs to. That ends up being why Ezekial is so frustrating when he shows up again. Luther can keep his demeanor at first, but the more Ezekial pushes, he’s less able to stay calm.

Ezekial’s would be his dedication. For better or worse, he never lets anything go unfinished once he’s started it, and he’s cemented that as one of his core features. He’d never have gotten as far as he has without that part of himself.

What are their biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

One of Luther’s most damning qualities is that he very adamantly refuses to open up and communicate. Even when he was younger, when pressure from his family started building up and really taking a toll on him, even though it was clear something was wrong, he never confided in Ezekial or told him the truth about his situation. It worried Ezekial but he never properly communicated that anything was wrong, even though he trusted Ezekial more than anyone else, and that all eventually built up and bubbled over in their big argument before they split, where as soon as Ezekial started pushing, he just got angrier and lashed out at him, which was completely out of character and unexpected at the time. This persists in the present where not only does he not have anyone to really confide in anymore, but even when Ezekial comes back and tries to talk to him, as soon as he thinks he might be making progress, Luther just shuts down again and it all goes right back to square one. He’s gotten to the point where he’s repressing his own feelings so much he can’t even identify himself that he’s not doing well. Conversely, I think one of his most important strengths is that, while it wasn’t something he ever really wanted in the first place, he has a lot of power and he knows how to use it to his advantage. While he’s extremely emotionally flawed, he’s got a very practical and business oriented mindset that has brought him very far in his current situation and has a lot of people at his disposal. Even when he starts cracking later on, he’s still got a good control over the people under him.

As for Ezekial, while one of his best qualities, his almost naive trust and loyalty is also one of his biggest flaws. He’s selfless to a point of recklessness and taking one look at him is an obvious testament to that. He never gave up on Luther and was willing to go to the darkest depths for him, and that brought him a lot of pain and suffering along the way. He doesn’t care though. He neglects himself a lot and fails to really cater to his basic needs unless it’s immediately necessary. He would gladly take any beating or scarring as long as it means he can get through to Luther eventually, and while he’s okay with that, it’s not a good thing for him in the long run. That could also be one of his strengths though. Because of what he’s gone through, he’s adapted a lot to the environment and is very crafty and quick on his feet, being able to evade and get around very easily now. He has a crazy high endurance and can go through so much before it ever starts to break him.

How do they handle death of someone they know?

Ezekial is very empathetic and cares far too much about everyone and everything, so someone he knows dying would completely wreck him with grief, which I think would go for anyone. If it were someone particularly close to him cough cough, that would only be ten times worse. He’d go through a long denial stage and go through some really severe depression and feelings of hopelessness, and would inevitably probably find some way to be angry at himself for it.

For Luther, I think it would be far more complex. He’s almost become desensitized to death at this point, having to be surrounded by the thought constantly. When he was younger, that was much harder to stomach, but where he is now, he’s made himself grown numb to it, out of necessity if nothing else. Though for someone he knew more personally, it would depend. Generally though, it would shake him up more than he would like. That sort of thing could cause him to doubt his entire life and worldview. He’d be scared, uneasy, not knowing how to properly deal with it when it’s a face he’s know for longer than a brief period of time. He’d come out a very different person by the end of it.

[olenvasynyt]

I want to talk about my journey with Azriel. And tbh I'm a bit afraid to because I like Gwynriel, but it wasn't always in my head, and I had / have some harsh opinions about him.

When I first read ACOTAR, he was instantly my favorite batboy because I love a broody guy with a dark past. You could tell that was is very sensitive under his cold exterior, and I always really liked characters like that. I also have an OC that Az really reminded me of so before I joined the fanbase, I only saw Az as my OC. It was great. (this is an OC who I have been developing for an embarrassing amount of time and one who I love so deeply I feel like it is a permanent mark on my very soul so yeah. It was great. And it's what makes the downfall of Az so painful for me)

And then I joined the fanbase and got into a group of friends who also loved Az. And I remember me and this group discovered there was a bonus chapter for him!! It was so exciting but we heard there was controversy so we decided to read it together.

And oh my god. The instant switch we all went through...it was actually fucking crazy. I remember I was at work on my break and my friends were just screaming DANA OH MY GOD I HATE THIS DANA PLEASE ANSWER ARE YOU OKAY DID THE BONUS CHAPTER KILL YOU???

It's really hard when you had a certain vision of a character you like and then a single chapter has the ability to destroy it instantly.

None of us in this chat thought about the shipwar or anything. This group was never into that. We just immediately got the absolute ick from Az's POV that it instantly turned us all off fom liking him. And we talked about the shipwars and E/riel vs Gwynriel but we all shared the mindset that both Elain and Gwyn deserved better than Az.

This ACOTAR friend group was heavy into Azris 💀 Because we all were like, "he needs to be fucking humbled and no one can do that better than Eris!!" But that is something I'll delve into later. Plus Az has a habit of supressing emotions until they build up and break and that is one of my favorite tropes when it comes to mlm romances. Shoving away thoughts, having feelings of self-hatred, seeing someone else and hating the way they make you feel, etc etc etc. I can spend ages talking about Azris. The perfect mlm enemies to lovers.

It was so bizarre how quickly my thoughts around him shifted. For a while, he did feel like an incel to me, or a fuck boy, or just a very entitled person. It also got me to see the flaws in other things such as the situation with Mor and how weird it was that he listed after her and tried to declare his feelings right after he rescued her from the Autumn border. That’s weird behavior. And I was always more accepting of Gwynriel before I interacted with the shipwars (and I never liked E/riel or barely thought of E/riel before the shipwars), but again, after ages I was always like ughhhh I like Gwynriel more but Gwyn deserves better.

I disliked Az for such a long time and it was so disappointing because I did really like him from the instant I met him! He reminded me so much of my OC that I've had for ages! But the bonus chapter...

So many of my mutuals and followers on tiktok know this: I don't want a female to heal Az. He needs to be humbled, brought to his lowest point so he can break and open up and heal. I kind of think of Chaol where he was brought to such a low point but he still struggled to open up. And as soon as I realized that similarity, it helped me appreciate him more.

The bonus chapter shown a spotlight on his flaws as a character. But that's the thing: The bonus chapter shown a spotlight on his flaws as a character.

After several rereads, especially my last reread, I again opened up to him because all of those flaws make him so complicated and interesting to read. And all of that on top of his backstory, his struggle with his feelings, his self-hatred and desperation and loneliness...it helps me root for him. I root for him to heal, to do better, to think better about himself, and I hope that he can heal enough to allow himself to have a happy life. He is dark, sad, lonely, angry and envious and reactionary, and all of that makes him so complicated. I personally like to read characters like that. I enjoy reading complex characters. Their low moments can be painful, but you can see hope for him, and the potential future where things are resolved and you get the feeling of such wonderful euphoria.

So I do like Azriel. I do. But I think the flaws and the low moments he has are very important to his character. And they can make you hate him, sure. I definitely experienced that. But if you like him, it is important to point out that those flaws do exist. It what makes him, and what will drive his story.