#as soon as that darinda chick showed up like 'oh yes that's king rydstrom i'd recognize him anywhere

[mermaidsirennikita]

IAD Hero Power Rankings: Part... V?

Almost forgot that a new sexy babe entered the villa and took over today!!!

Rydstrom Woede, demon (king), Kiss of a Demon King

Pros:

--called Sabine a "good girl" even when she's actually being a bad girl

--is explicitly a dom

--the first time he smiles is after she flips him off

--is into spanking

--takes Sabine to a bar and everyone leaves the bar because she's evil and he's all "awwww baby I don't understand why they don't like you :(" when she's committed, like, war crimes... down ridiculous...

--his big comeback to his enemy is like "lmao well I'm about to make your girl's eyes roll back in her head SOOOOOOO EAT IT CUCK"

--has two elaborate fantasies in this novel: a) suspending Sabine from the ceiling and edging her until he lets her grind against his face B) watching Sabine cuddle their cute baby. The duality of demon king

Cons:

--I mean I guess he did some pretttttyyyyy dubious shit to Sabine, but only after she did them to him

--met a woman and became her friend and talked to her for days and literally didn't remember fucking her once until she reminded him.... I thought it was funny

--that time he went at Sabine's tits for so long that the next day she was all "THEY HURT SO BAD" so I assume he was like a newborn baby or something

--"I don't have any fetishes!!!!" has every fetish known to man

--was so down ridiculous that he went to try and kill himself to save her... this is a pro... but I'm gonna pretend it's a con

--is pretty hard on Cade who was just trying!!! his!!! best!!!!!!!!!! but again this is only mildly a con because his disappointed dad thing is hot

2. Conrad Wroth, vampire, Dark Needs at Night’s Edge

Pros:

–exceedingly good at removing obstacles between him and what he wants

–a virgin and SUPER embarrassed about it in a way that is INCREDIBLY precious (when he finally fucked this woman and went “So I was good?” I almost fucking wept)

–murder puppy only wants death and blood (until he discovers………… other things)

–a natural born dirty talker

–BABY BOY…. BABY BOY…./EVIL

Cons:

–has erectile dysfunction for a significant part of his book, he gets better but I was so sad for him

–I mean, is fully insane and wants to murder his entire family, but nobody’s perfect and Nikolai kinda deserves it

–wears sunglasses indoors

–got aroused while buying underwear for her and had to limp home

–made Bowen MacRrieve sad and that makes me really upset because I love Bowen MacRieve

3. Bowen MacRieve, werewolf, Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night

Pros:

–is a werewolf general

–was celibate for 1200 years after his lover got so scared of his wolf form that she gored herself on a tree stump (lmao)

–spent those 1200 years trying to bring her back to life

–great at catching and preparing seafood

–breeding kink (wants to put all the bairns in Mariketa)

–kinda into bondage…?

–gets hard at the thought of Mariketa’s carnage, even when he is the carnage

–update pro: gets sent to a party by himself so that Mariketa can run an errand and just sits there confused and miserable at the bar by himself waiting for her to show up even though he knows people there; I imagine this is much like that SNL skit about a dog park for boyfriends, where the shy boyfriend hides under a picnic table

Cons:

–kind of a fuckboy (will say his dead lover’s name when he comes, ONE TIME, but “Mariketa” and “Mariah” begin similarly so)

–doesn’t like it when Mariketa chant incantations into her mirror because it creeps him out

–breeding kink (casually tries to get her to stop taking birth control)

–makes fun of Mariketa’s vibrator, even if I found that actually hilarious

4. Lachlain MacRieve, werewolf, A Hunger Like No Other

Pros:

–chewed his own leg off to get to Emma, pinned her to the ground in broad daylight, and inhaled her neck like a fucking FREAK

–actually pretty good at being the werewolf king (saves Bowen from his own stupidity multiple times, much daddy, very authoritative)

–saw Emma kill her own dad and basically swooned

–is absolutely down to get his blood sucked… through his penis (I believe he says that’s the only way he’ll accept BJs now…?)

–gets by on missing 150 years of progression purely on intimidation, which I personally find deeply sexy

Cons:

–I mean yes Lachlain is one of the rape-iest IAD heroes even if most of that was werewolf instinct and burning alive for 150 years

–doesn’t know how to use an iPod

–but will max out your credit cards

–a werewolf supremacist (is this a bad thing…?)

–says “Kiss me like you want to live” which I guess I should put as a con because it’s non-consensual but whatever I was dow–

5. Cadeon Woede/“Cade the Kingmaker”, demon, Dark Desires After Dusk

Pros:

–extremely loyal to his brother (which I found cute)

–orders ahead to get pre-packaged food for Holly to accommodate her OCD, while helping her Walk on the Wild Side

–was the first guy to 69 with his heroine in this series

–stalked Holly for like a year (stalking is love)

–gets adorably tongue-tied around her, but not in a lame way

Cons:

–lied to Holly for like… that entire book lmao (even though it was fun)

–is called the Womb Raider for a reason, apparently (a little tooooo potent)

–sort of fucks with Holly’s birth control, in the sense that he made sure she was super fertile, but to be fair Holly did not… actually… take birth control

–threw out Holly’s OCD meds, though I chalk this up to the year the book was published

–just sort of drove around giving Holly head for WEEKS while Rydstrom was getting sexually tortured, so like…. maybe doesn’t have GREAT priorities…. maybe has the best priorities… Rydstrom was fine…

6. Nikolai Wroth, vampire, The Warlord Wants Forever

Pros:

–deeply efficient and good at his job (being a bloodthirsty warlord), which turns his mate on as much as it should literally everyone else

–scars all over

–very family-oriented, which means he’s extreeeeemely daddy, and very much uses that in the bedroom

–will try to make nice with your bitchy sisters for you

–is receptive to therapy, even if the therapist was his beaten and bruised brother whose advice was basically “do better”

Cons:

–did steal Myst’s chain and used it to make her come on command; which, while I liked it, was very much non-consensual

–insecure about Myst’s history as the greatest femme fatale of the last couple millennia (though he gets better and decides to be a sex-positive feminist)

–that time that he turned his little brothers into vampires against their will

–was so down bad that he literally started to waste away when Myst didn’t let him get off for five years

–does not properly heat his manor

7. Sebastian Wroth, vampire, No Rest for the Wicked

Pros:

–basically a virgin when he meets Kaderin

–Gentleman in the Streets Freak in That Random Nightclub Where He SNAPS

–joined the mile high club remarkably fast

–throws out all his principles for her

–Speaks Like Dracula but in a “I vant to suck your clit” way

Cons:

–borderline beta, or as beta as a murderous centuries old vampire warlord can be

–a little tooooo accommodating of Kaderin’s bullshit

–could have been more demanding, to be honest (Bowen and Lachlain would noooot have been as patient as he was, which some would like but I was a little weary of)