#asriels lucky he got a child with her and actually lived to tell about it

[tragicotps]

Random gifs of Marisa Coulter smiling [8/∞]

[krat395]

Gorgeously Glamorous Gargalesis (Chapter 5)

Mettaton! Mettaton is the special guest, beauties and gentlebeauties! :D In “W.D. Gaster, the Ultimate Tickle Master” and “Tickles of Justice,” it was mentioned that the glamorous robot himself tickled both Asriel and MK a few days before the events of both of those stories. Sounds adorable, right? But wouldn’t you like to know more about what happened that day? If yes, then now’s your chance! :D Starting with this chapter, find out exactly how Mettaton tickled those two boys! ;)

 Undertale© Toby Fox.

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Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

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GORGEOUSLY GLAMOROUS GARGALESIS

 Chapter 5: Giggles, Laughter, Cuteness!

 After a wholesome meal and a trial run for a future episode of "Cooking With a Killer Robot," it is now time for the main event! :D In the living room, Asriel and MK, who are currently sitting in separate chairs next to the couch, and Rocco, Lydia, and Rex (with his two favorite toy in close proximity), who are currently sitting on the couch, are all eagerly waiting for Mettaton to perform for them and during this performance, Mettaton will primarily be in his EX form. He may need to change into the rectangle form at least once during the performance but the NEO form on the other hand is off limits. For what he has planned for Asriel and MK, he doesn't want to get too carried away.

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* All right, beauties and gentlebeauties; it's time! It's time for the moment we've all been waiting for! And for this performance, I'll need two volunteers from the audience. *said Mettaton charismatically, stretching his arms and placing his hands on MK and Asriel's shoulders; his left hand on MK's right shoulder and his right hand on Asriel's left shoulder*

 Asriel: Wait, you want me and MK to be your volunteers?! *asked Asriel both confusedly and nervously*

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* Yes, darling. You got a problem with that?

 MK: No; no problem, Mettaton. *MK answered for Asriel* We just thought you were going to ask my parents to volunteer instead.

 Mettaton: No! No adults. Not for this performance. No, for this performance, I need kids as my volunteers!

 Asriel: Rex is a kid. *Asriel pointed out*

 Mettaton: Yes, but he's far too young. For this performance, I need kids around your age, precious goat child.

 Asriel: Oh. Oh, I see. Ok, fair enough. So, what would you like us to do, Mettaton?

 Mettaton: W-well, s-stand up first of all. *Mettaton requested, struggling to contain his excitement*

 Asriel and MK then did as Mettaton requested. Then after standing up, they moved about 7 feet away from the couch, giving Lydia, Rocco, and Rex (and Darius and a special toy weapon); the audience; a remarkable view of the upcoming performance from a relatively safe distance. Then while standing still in front of the audience and also facing towards them; Asriel on the left and MK on the right from the audience's perspective; Mettaton scanned their bodies with a green laser from his left eye; every inch, from their heads all the way down to their toes. This confused Asriel and MK. "What the heck is he doing?" the two monster boys wondered as Mettaton scanned their entire bodies with a thin green laser. That's a good question! And lucky for them, they won't have to wait too long to receive an answer! ;)

 Mettaton: ………Oh my! That's… wow! *said Mettaton moments after he finished scanning the boys, clearly surprised about something*

 Asriel and MK: What? What is it?! *the two boys asked, concerned about the current situation they're in*

 Mettaton: Oh, n-nothing, darlings. It's nothing. *lied Mettaton* Forget I said anything.

 MK: Uh, ok? Mom?

 Lydia: Heeheehee! Listen to Mettaton, boys; because I think you're really going to love what he's about to do. I know I will. *said Lydia cheekily, sitting on the couch next to Rocco with her feet resting on a footrest* Heeheeheeheehee! *she giggled, wiggling her 6 toes teasingly*

 Rocco: Hehe; me too! It's gonna be lots of fun! *Rocco chimed in with a smile, his big feet resting on the same footrest alongside Lydia's* Hahahahaha! *he laughed, wiggling his 6 toes teasingly with Rex sitting comfortably on his lap*

 Asriel and MK: Heh. Well alrighty then! *said the two boys excitedly, with some idea of what's about to happen* Heeheeheehee!

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* Wonderful, darlings! Now just one last thing before we start. As I enter the living room, read these lines with me, will you? A performance like this needs a stellar introduction, don't you think? *claimed Mettaton as he handed both Asriel and MK pieces of paper*

 Asriel: Hehe. Sure thing! You can count on us!

 MK: Heh. Nice reference, Mettaton. *said MK after reading the lines on his piece of paper*

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* Thanks, darling. And hopefully Rex will like it too.

 MK: Heeheehee! Oh, he will! Heeheeheehee!

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* Excellent.

 And with that, Mettaton left the living room for a brief moment. When it comes to performing for others, he always likes to perform as if he's performing on stage. That means announcing his arrival and introducing himself to his audience beforehand. But in this case however, he just wants an excuse to show off what he can do with his stretchy arms from a distance and that's actually when the real fun began. ;)

 Mettaton: ...Are you ready, kids? *asked Mettaton the moment he re-entered the living room*

 Asriel and MK: Heck yeah, Mettaton!

 Mettaton: I can't hear you! *said Mettaton in a singsongy voice*

 Asriel and MK: HECK YEAH, METTATON!

 Mettaton: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes! Glad to hear that, darlings! *effeminate laugh*

 At that moment, Mettaton stretched his left arm over towards Asriel's neck and his right arm over towards MK's right collar bone. Then without warning, he tickled the two boys on those exact spots, surprising the hell out of them and sending them into fits of frantic laughter as they involuntarily sank to the floor until they were lying flat on their backs. The boys had a feeling that Mettaron was going to be tickling someone but they were under the impression that the targets were going to be Rocco and Lydia's feet; due to how they spoke and how they teasingly wiggled their toes on the footrest earlier. But nope! Just a ruse! And to make matters worse, Mettaton knows exactly how ticklish they are and the exact spots to tickle to really get them squealing and squirming! All thanks to a built-in scanning device of his that allows him to scan individuals with a green laser. He used it to find out how ticklish Muffet is last Thursday at her place and earlier, he used it to find out exactly how ticklish Asriel and MK are. But this time, without the built-in voice that speaks before and after the device is used! After doing some tinkering last Sunday after LARPing with Papyrus and friends, Mettaton disabled it! That and he built some (safe) tickling contraptions that will be put to good use later this evening. Yeah, no joke! After losing his arms and legs on numerous occasions (the former more often than the latter), Mettaton felt the need to learn about robotics; so he can repair himself in any one of his three forms if necessary rather than rely on Alphys to repair him. That and to build contraptions that can tickle others. And he's learned so much that he's become a rather skilled engineer himself! But Asriel and MK won't know or believe that until Mettaton tickles them with his latest creations later; later because Mettaton would first like to tickle the boys with his fingers and a magical ability he didn't use on Muffet last week.

 Mettaton: Coochie coochie coo! Coochie coochie coo! *teased Mettaton, tickling Asriel and MK everywhere on their necks and torsos with his wiggly fingers; with extra special attention to their most ticklish spots*

 Asriel and MK: AHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEY!!! GAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! METTATON! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MEHEHEHETTATON, WHAHAHAHAHHAT THE HEHEHEHECK?!?! *asked the two boys in disbelief through their laughter, squirming on the floor as Mettaton tickled them to precious pieces* HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* I call it, "GORGEOUSLY GLAMOROUS GARGALESIS!" Do you like it?

 Asriel: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!! OH GOHOHOD NOHOHOHOHOHO!!! *shouted Asriel in response through his laughter; to Mettaton swirling his left index finger inside his bellybutton; not Mettaton's question* HAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! *SNORT* *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 Mettaton: Awww! Yes, you do. Don't lie. *teased Mettaton, knowing very well that Asriel's response was an involuntary reaction to the tickles* Don't lie, precious goat child. *he cooed, right as he began circling his index fingers around both boys' bellybuttons*

 MK: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! *squealed MK, wiggling and squiggling on the floor like the little wiggle-worm he is* HAHAHHAAHAAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! HOHOHOHOLY MOHOHOHOHOLY, MEHEHEHETTATON!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOHOHOHOHOSH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HOHOHOHOHOW DO YOU KNOHOHOHOHOW EXACTLY WHEHEHEHERE I'M TICKLISH?!?! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* Lucky guess, precious lizard child! *lied Mettaton*

 MK: BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

 Mettaton: Ok, fine, I'll tell you! *said Mettaton, despite the fact that MK, or anyone for that matter, didn't pester him to reveal the truth XD* That green laser I scanned you with; I used it to find out where you boys are ticklish. I can show your sensitivity charts after these first two minutes are over. Would you like me to? Please say yes.

 The boys agreed; not just because they didn't have a choice but to say yes but also because they're quite curious to find out if Mettaton is actually capable of finding out exactly how ticklish someone is just by scanning them. And to their surprise, he is! And all Mettaton had to do to convince them was show them their sensitivity charts. He even scanned Rocco, Lydia, and Rex's bodies just for good measure. All while holding both Asriel and MK against the floor. He can't exactly have them escaping at any moment, now can he? Not when the fun is just getting started! ;)

 MK: Holy moly, Mettaton! *said MK, astonished by how accurate his and Asriel's (and Rocco's and Lydia's and Rex's) sensitivity charts are* H-how?! W-why?!

 Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* Ask these beauties, darlings.

 At that moment, Mettaton deployed his backup arms! Twice the hands; double the tickles! ;)

 Mettaton: Mwahahahahahahaha! *laughed Mettaton "evilly," holding up his two extra hands and wiggling his fingers with an "I'm going to tickle you again!" expression on his face* Ready boys?

 Asriel and MK ……… (HOLY MOLY! METTATON! *gulp* :O)

 The boys were completely speechless the moment they saw Mettaton with two pairs of arms. They literally didn't know what to think! Should they be nervous? Excited? They just didn't know! But they didn't really have any time to think about it because about 5 seconds after they saw Mettaton's second pair of arms, Mettaton tickled the two boys themselves with them in addition to his primary pair of arms, wiggling his fingers all over their necks and torsos once again; armpits, ribs, bellies, sides, everywhere!

 Asriel and MK: PFFFFFFFFF… BWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *the two little monster boys laughed once again; nearly jolting backwards along the floor due to more wiggly fingers "attacking" their weak points on their necks and torsos*

 Asriel: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *bleated Asriel in between spurts of frantic laughter, both sets of Mettaton's left hand fingers tracing against his sensitive skin and through his fluffy fur * HAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *SNORT* *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HAHAHAHAAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA!!!

 MK: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! *squealed MK in between spurts of frantic laughter, both sets of Mettaton's right hand fingers tracing against his sensitive scales* HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! *SQUEAK* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 The boys were in stitches. Whether Mettaton's fingers were tracing against their torsos on the outside of their shirts or underneath their shirts, the boys were in absolute stitches. They're so ticklish, those two boys! Adorably ticklish! Their bubbly laughter and heart-melting expressions and movements as Mettaton tickles them say it all! And Mettaton just can't get enough of them! X3 He especially adores the way they both wag their tails while they're being tickled. Asriel's short fluffy tail, MK's long scaly tail; if they're wagging fast, that means Mettaton, or whoever's tickling the boys for that matter, hit a sweet spot. X3

 Asriel and MK: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

 2 minutes later, Mettaton gave MK a breather so he could put all of his focus into tickling Asriel for a few minutes. But he didn't want MK to escape while he was tickling Asriel though. Not that MK would for sure try to escape but why take the chance? So to keep MK where he currently is, Mettaton summoned 16 MINIATURE VERSIONS OF HIS RECTANGLE FORM; "mini mes" as Mettaton likes to call them and the same miniature robots he used during his battle with Frisk; to hold him down, which they all did with incredible ease.

 MK: EEEEEEEEP! Mettaton! *shouted MK, struggling to free his tail, legs, and robotic arms from the mini Mettatons' surprisingly strong grasps* Oh my gosh, you're not… you're not gonna t-tickle us with these things, a-are you?

 Mettaton: Hahahaha! Maybe. ……...Ok, fine, I'll tell you! Yes! Yes, I am!

 Once again, nobody pestered Mettaton to reveal his intentions. XD Mettaton isn't the best at keeping secrets. He never was. That isn't to say that he blurts out every personal secret of his or every secret he hears from others. He can keep some secrets to himself but certainly not every secret. :B

 Mettaton: ...But not right this second! First, I want to tickle you like I'm the big brother you both view me as; despite the fact that I happen to be 9 and a half years younger than the lovely lizard lady in the audience (and 15 years younger than that handsome chef sitting next to her). Hahahahaha!

 Lydia: Oh my; Mettaton. *said Lydia, blushing red* Heeheeheeheehee!

 Rocco: Hey! That's my wife and your "mother" you're talking about there, “son!” *teased Rocco*

 Like Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, and Alphys, Mettaton is like an older sibling to the Dreemurr kids and MK. But unlike Sans, Papyrus, Undyne, and Alphys, who have all been classified as "A-team siblings" by Frisk and Chara, Mettaton, along with Blooky and Muffet, is classified as a "B-team sibling." It's nothing personal against the glamorous robot, shy ghost, and cheeky spider girl themselves. It's just that Frisk and Chara are much closer to everyone's favorite wacky skeleton duo, the strong fish warrior, and the nerdy lizard scientist.

 Mettaton: Hahahahaha! Sorry, "Daddy!" *Mettaton teased back, saying "Daddy" in a way that made Rocco feel somewhat uncomfortable* And sorry for what I'm about to do to you, my fluffy "little brother!" *he then said to Asriel, pinning the fluffy boy's arms above his head with his (Mettaton's) backup hands to expose his (Asriel's) extremely sensitive armpits* Hahahahahaha! Get ready! IIIIIIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!!!

 Asriel: PFFFF… HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! AHHHHHH, NOHOHOHOHOHO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MY AHAHAHAHHARMS!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! LEHEHET GOHOHO OF MY AHAHAHAHARMS!!! HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 At that moment, Mettaton dug both of his primary sets of fingers into the hollows of both of Asriel's armpits. With his arms pinned down, there was nothing Asriel could do to fight back. Just laugh; and laugh he did! It was so precious and hysterical and Mettaton focused solely on his armpits for an entire minute, relishing in the angelic sound that was laughter all the while. It wasn't until the second minute that Mettaton focused on the other areas of his torso, particularly his ribs and belly. But during the entirety of the second minute, Mettaton tickled Asriel with all four of his hands, causing the young goat boy's laughter to double in volume and also bleat and squeal at the top of his diaphragm. Twenty fingers tickling his ultra-sensitive torso; not the largest number of fingers from a single individual Asriel's been tickled by but certainly enough to make someone as ticklish as Asriel laugh their head off and Mettaton tickled numerous spots at once on Asriel's torso too. One moment that really got Asriel laughing to the point that he couldn't speak was when Mettaton pulled his shirt halfway up, exposing his fluffy belly, and then scribbled his primary sets of fingers all over his belly. But that wasn't all though. In addition to the belly tickles, Mettaton also kneaded Asriel's ribs with his secondary sets of fingers on the outside of his shirt.

 Asriel: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! HAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! *SNORT* *SNORT* HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!

 Mettaton: Hahahaha! Your fur is so soft, darling! No wonder your sisters and Muffet love petting you so much! *said Mettaton with a giggle, causing Asriel to blush red with embarrassment and wonder if Muffet blabbed to Mettaton about the time she and her spiders first tickled him*

 Muffet may have told Mettaton about the times she pet Asriel but rest assured, she didn't say a single word to Mettaton about tickling him on a few occasions. It wasn't until today that Mettaton found out how ticklish Asriel is and where he's ticklish and after tickling him for 6 minutes so far, he was happy to see that his sensitivity scanner is still accurate. But just to be extra sure, he felt the need to blow some raspberries on Asriel's belly for 30 seconds as well as tickle his ears for 30 seconds; particularly the tips.

 Mettaton: Pbffffffffff… Pbfffffffffff… Pbfffffffffff!

 Asriel: GYAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HEEHEEHEEHEEEHEEHEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *SNORT* HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

 Mettaton: And now the earsies! *said Mettaton in a singsongy voice, holding Asriel's ears in his hands and wiggling his thumbs up and down every possible inch of them* Hahahahahaha!

 Asriel: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! OHOHOHOH GOHOHOHOHOD, NOHOHOHOHOT THE EEHEEHEEHEEHEEARS!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEHEEHEEHEEHHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 Immediately after Mettaton finished tickling Asriel, he turned his attention over to MK, pinning the young reptilian boy's robotic arms above his head with his backup pair of hands to expose his armpits while sending the mini Mettatons over to Asriel to hold the young goat boy himself against the floor. Then once Mettaton assured that neither boy could escape, he wiggled his 10 primary fingers in the hollows of MK's armpits, tickling him and making him wiggle, squiggle, and laugh frantically like the ticklish lizard boy he is. But that wasn't all Mettaton did though for one whole minute though. In addition, he wiggled his fingers up and down MK's sides, causing the young boy's laughter to increase in volume the closer he got towards his hips.

 MK: PFFFFFFFFF… HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *SQUEAK* HOHOHOHOHOHOLY MOHOHOHOHOHOHOLY!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! HOHOHOHOHOLY MOHOHOHOHOLY, THAHAHAHAT TICKLES!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOHOHOHOD, THAHAHHAAT TIIIIIICKLES SO MUHUHUHUCH!!! *SQUEAK* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 Mettaton: Hahahahaha! It's supposed to, darling! *teased Mettaton, right as he made his way towards MK's hips* Hahahahaha! Coochie coo! Coochie coochie coo!

 MK: BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! OH NOHOHOHOOHO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! NOHOOHOHOHOHOHO, NOT MY HIPS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ANYWHEHEHEHERE BUT MY HIPS!!! *pleaded MK, despite the fact that his hips aren't his most ticklish spots and the fact Mettaton isn’t actually tickling him there… yet ;)* HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

 After one minute, Mettaton let go of MK's wrists and used all four hands to tickle MK; everywhere on his neck, torso, and hips; and as expected, MK laughed harder and his laughter increased in volume. Twenty fingers wiggling against his scaly skin, on the outside of his striped shirt as well as underneath his striped shirt, tickled him so much and to MK's horror, Mettaton did not let up at any point with them for one whole minute. He enjoys being tickled and all but Mettaton attacking so many sweet spots of his at once is simply too much for him to handle. Especially during the moment when Mettaton lifted MK's striped shirt up enough to expose his scaly belly! After lifting MK's shirt, Mettaton absolutely wrecked MK when he wiggled his primary sets of fingers against his belly and kneaded his hips with his backup sets of fingers; tickling him so much that he wound up "singing" like his father does whenever someone tickles him underneath his toes with utensils!

 MK: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! OOOOOOOOOOO NUUUUUUUUUUUHUHUHHUHUHU!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!

 Mettaton: Ohohohoh my! Hahahahahaha! Whahahahat on earth was that, darling? *asked Mettaton while laughing, caught off guard by MK's "singing"* Hahahahahahahaha!

 Lydia: Heeheeheeheehee! You made him "sing," Mettaton! Heeheeheehee!

 Rocco: Hahahahaha! Yeah, like me! *admitted Rocco; albeit inadvertently XD* Hahahahahaha! Wait! Oh my god, why the hell did I tell you that?! *he then asked worriedly after realizing what he just said*

 Mettaton: Hahahahaha! Coochie coochie coo! "Sing" for me again, darling! *teased Mettaton as he tickled MK once more, appearing to have ignored what Rocco just told him* Hahahahaha!

 MK: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 After tickling MK's neck, torso, and hips with his 20 fingers for one whole minute, Mettaton blew raspberries on MK's scaly belly for 30 seconds. Then after blowing raspberries, he tickled MK's tail for 30 seconds; every inch from its base all the way to its tip.

 Mettaton: Pbfffffffffff… Pbffffffffffff… Pbffffffffff…

 MK: BWAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! HOHOHOHOHOHOLY MOHOHOHOHOLY, MEHEHEHEHETTATON!!! *laughed MK hysterically, trying to push Mettaton's head away from his belly* HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOHOHOOHOHOHOSH, HOHOHOHOW AHAHARE YOU DOOHOOHOOING THAT?!?! *he then asked, wondering how Mettaton is capable of blowing raspberries without lungs* HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHA!!!

 Rocco: Hahaha! Who says you need lungs to blow raspberries? Hahahahaha!

 30 seconds later…

 MK: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! *screeched MK the moment Mettaton wiggled his 20 fingers against his tail, tickling MK so much that he inadvertently tried to bite Mettaton a few times* HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OHOHOHOH MY GOHOHOHOHOHOD!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! NOHOHOHOHOHOT MY TAIL!!!! *he pleaded through his laughter, thrashing so ferociously in Mettaton's clutches to the point that he forced Mettaton to hold him down with 8 mini Mettatons* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ANYWHEHEHEHEHERE BUT MY TAIL!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! GYAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 30 seconds later, Mettaton stopped tickling MK, much to MK's relief, but only long enough to give him a much needed breather and as MK rested, Mettaton kept his mini Mettatons on both him and Asriel at all times.

 Mettaton: Hahahahaha! You're certainly a ticklish little boy, aren't you? You and Asriel both... Hahahahaha!

 MK: Huff… huff… huff… Yes! Huff… huff… Yes, I am ridiculously ticklish! Huff… huff… And, oh my gosh, Mettaton… huff… I'm so sorry I tried to bite you… huff… and hit you! *MK apologized, feeling guilty that he inadvertently tried to hurt Mettaton* Huff… huff…

 Mettaton: Pfft. Oh, don't worry about it, darling. I know you didn't mean to. Lots of kids act crazy when they're being tickled! Believe me, I know! You should've seen the fight your friend, Kyle, put up last Thursday! "Hahahahaha! Mehehehettaton, stohohohop! Hahahaha! Stohohohop, pleeheeheease! Hahahahahaha! Yohohou're gonna make meeheeheehee peeheeheehee my pahahahants!" Ergh! I didn't know, ok? You don't see monster children doing anything like that!

 Asriel: *gasp* Mettaton! Oh my god! You… you didn't actually make Kyle pee his pants, did you? That kid's almost as ticklish as I am, you know!

 Lydia: No, my dear. Patty and I stopped him before anything happened. *Lydia answered for Mettaton while shooting a death glare at the robot celebrity himself for blabbing to her older son and Asriel about the incident with Kyle last Thursday*

 Asriel: Whew! Thank goodness!

 MK: Wait! You were here last Thursday too, Mettaton?! What for?! Surely you didn't show up here just to tickle Kyle!

 Since Mettaton wanted showing up and tickling MK to be a surprise and since Lydia didn't want to embarrass Kyle in any way, MK and Asriel were not informed of the incident where Mettaton tickled Kyle until he nearly peed his pants. That was thoughtful of Lydia. Very thoughtful indeed! X3 It’s just too bad Mettaton ruined it by blabbing about that close call Kyle had last Thursday. :B

 Mettaton: No, it was supposed to be you, MK! You deserved more tickles as fun punishment for what you, Frisk, Chara, and Blooky all did to me last Wednesday but you weren't here! And neither was your dad to ask him if he wanted to be on my cooking show!

 Lydia: That is true, yes. But aren't you glad that you waited until today to do all of the things you wanted to do last Thursday, Mettaton?

 Mettaton: Hahahaha! Why, of course I am! If I didn't wait until today, I wouldn't have been able to……… tickle Asriel as well! (Ehehehehe. Whoops! Almost spoiled the secret!) Hahahahahaha!

 Asriel: Heeheeheeheehee! Ain't that the truth! *said Asriel excitely, wiggling his six fluffy toes in an unintentional teasing manner* Heeheeheeheehee!

 What Mettaton was about to say was that if he didn't wait until today to tickle MK, he wouldn't have been able to tickle the young lizard boy himself (and Asriel) with the tickling contraptions he built recently; because he didn't start building them until last Friday afternoon; sometime after being tickle tortured by Muffet's spiders and after making more progress on his LARPing costume with help from Papyrus. Whatever these contraptions are, it sounds like the boys will surely be in for a treat. But not until first receiving some tickles from the mini Mettatons that are currently holding both of them against the floor. Mettaton may not have tickled Muffet with them last Thursday but he'll certainly tickle Asriel and MK with them today! ;)

TO BE CONTINUED...

[songfell-ut]

I give up, here’s Chapter 17

I should’ve posted this a week ago, but I’ve been like “nuuu it’s cool no one minds a 25,000-word chapter” and yeah here’s only 15k that I finally split off into its own thing. Chapter is here, hi @lostmypotatoes

The Grand Hall lived up to its name: Frisk had never been to the nicer parts of the humans’ castle, but there was no way it could be more amazing than this place, which had a ceiling hundreds of feet tall blanketed with tiny lights, speckled marble columns that reached nearly all the way up, and beautiful murals on the walls showing forests, rivers, even the ocean! Monsters stood in long lines along a central aisle of sparkling white sand, so new that it had obviously been made for the humans’ visit, stretching up a gentle slope to the foot of the grand staircase leading into the Underground.

Queen Toriel had taken Frisk from the house in the Ruins through a snowy town – how did it snow inside the mountain? – and on her first-ever boat ride, which ended all too soon in a place called “Waterfall”; from there, they hurried down to the Grand Hall just in time for the Royal Guard to announce the human delegation. Luckily, instead of having to walk through all those monsters, they used a partly-hidden network of hallways to emerge right at the head of the staircase. Toriel gave the child one more pat, telling her to be good and stay where she was, before the Queen walked out to take her place beside Asgore, nodding to the guards.

Frisk was glad she didn’t have to talk to the King yet; he looked like a bigger, hairier, scarier version of his wife or son, scowling and fidgeting around until Toriel cleared her throat. They stood just in front of Prince Asriel, who noticed the child and gave her a friendly nod before he turned to face the aisle. Frisk crept out far enough to look around the rest of the cavern, wondering why humans talked about the Underground as if it was some kind of filthy mudhole. It was such a beautiful place, with boat rides and snow and twinkling lights…

Something like trumpets sounded, and the Grand Hall’s enormous bronze gates swung open. The monsters all put on their politest expressions as the delegation came through the entrance and headed up the aisle, with the frontmost humans stopping at the bottom of the staircase. “Greetings,” boomed King Asgore, extending his arms and flaring his purple cape out like great wings. “Welcome to the Underground, one and all!”

On cue, the monsters broke into cheers and applause. As the echoes faded, a fussy-looking human stepped forward to give a long speech about greetings and honor and honorable blah blah blah; it was starting to get boring when he was cut short by a cry of “Mama!” and someone rushing past him.

“Chara!” Forgetting her dignity, the Queen of monsters hitched up her robe to run to her estranged daughter. They nearly crashed into each other halfway down the stairs, Toriel’s crown falling askew as the human leapt into her embrace. There was a lot of murmuring and more genuine applause, which swelled into a full ovation as Toriel sank to her knees, holding on as though her child was drowning and her arms were a life preserver.

Asriel had also hurried down to meet his sister, and Asgore was starting toward them when it happened: Chara looked up for the briefest second, and when she saw Frisk near the head of the stairs, the woman’s eyes flashed sheer hatred, as though she wanted her dead on the spot.

Frisk jerked back so hard that she stumbled and nearly fell. When she caught her balance, she found herself looking down at Asgore; he was staring at Chara, and followed the woman’s gaze back up to Frisk. For a long second, the King regarded the human child with a question in his eyes, as though he wanted to say something, but knew better; then Chara was all teary smiles again, hugging Asriel and extending an arm to “Papa!”

The applause grew even louder as Asgore joined them, parents and siblings joyously reunited, and Frisk could have cried with rage. Why did Chara have to hate her for being there when she was lucky enough to have her own perfect family? Couldn’t Frisk have had more than a couple of minutes with those wonderful monsters before Chara stole them back?

It was too much. The child sniffled, and turned to trudge back down the hallway, trying not to think of what her mother was going to say when she found out where Frisk had been.

But as she approached the branching path that led to the Grand Hall floor, she came to a sudden halt: someone further down the hall was shouting, “I’M TELLING YOU, IT IS DEFINITELY THIS WAY!”

“sure, bro,” another person mumbled, his deeper voice echoing up the passage.

“SANS, PLEASE! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY THE CORRECT DIRECTION THIS TIME! THERE IS NO NEED TO LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!”

“relax, pap. i’m just impressed you know all these different ways to go.”

The voices weren’t moving—she was trapped up here. Frisk held her breath as the louder person demanded, “REALLY? THEN WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THAT SMIRK?”

“…uh, bro? this is how I always—”

“DON’T LIE TO ME, BROTHER! THE GREAT PAPYRUS KNOWS WHAT A SMIRK LOOKS LIKE! IT’S A REGULAR SMILE, BUT IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!!”

“you got me. it means ‘pap is the coolest and knows all the directions.’ you like it?”

“…I SEE! NYEH-HEH. YES, I DO LIKE IT! FROM NOW ON, YOU MAY SMIRK ALL YOU WANT!”

“aww, thanks, bro. you’re the best…and that’s the tooth.”

The joke was so dumb that Frisk had to laugh. Whoever it was, they sounded friendly enough, not to mention silly. Were they humans she hadn’t talked to on the way here? Or—

“DID YOU HEAR THAT, BROTHER?” She jumped as the voice came closer. “IS SOMEONE THERE? SOMEONE WITH EXTREMELY BAD TASTE?”

“hey! i think they’ve got great taste. i mean, they obviously speak our tongue.”

Frisk laughed again, and was only a little afraid when the strange pair came into view. They were skeletons—not just thin people, but actual, literal bones that walked and talked. One was very tall, dressed in showy red boots and some kind of fake armor, while the other was much shorter, in clothes far too casual for an event like this. Why was he wearing pink slippers?

Both of them were also looking her over. With the tiny little lights in his sockets trained on Frisk, the taller one bent down to whisper to his brother. “OH MY GOD, SANS!” he yelled. “IS THAT A HUMAN?”

The short one stared at her for a moment, then nodded, and somehow closed one socket in a wink. “i dunno, pap. he doesn’t look that monstrous to me. who’re you, kid?”

“My name is F—Kris,” she said, giving them a bow, “and you’re right. I’m a human.”

“OF COURSE I AM RIGHT, HUMAN, FOR I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! HOW PLEASANT FOR YOU TO MEET ME!” The tall skeleton struck a heroic pose. “HAVE NO FEAR! WE MONSTERS HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE AND THEN BECOME FRIENDS! THEREFORE, YOU MAY SIMPLY REFER TO ME AS ‘PAPYRUS,’ EVEN IF IT IS ONLY HALFWAY CORRECT.” He indicated the other skeleton. “THIS IS MY OLDER BROTHER, SANS. DO NOT BE DISTRAUGHT THAT HE IS NOT AS GREAT AS I AM, AND TRY TO BEAR WITH HIS TERRIBLE JOKES, NYEHH.” Nudge. “SANS! SAY SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TERRIBLE!”

Sans was watching her carefully; he looked like he was smiling, but Frisk had the feeling it was just how his face was made. He wasn’t happy to see her at all. “sure,” he said coolly. “the name’s sans. sans the skeleton.” Papyrus nudged him again, and Sans sighed, as if resigning himself to his fate. “yeah, i know what his majesty said.” He put on a wider grin. “welp, nice to meet you, kris.”

Fakeness or not, the monsters she’d met so far were still much better than any humans she knew. So Frisk smiled shyly at him, and whispered, “It’s nice to meet you, too, Sans.”

His smile dropped a little. They regarded each other for a few seconds; to her delight, his mouth rose again in genuine approval. “heh. you seem like a nice kid.” Shrug. “pap’s right. we’re all gonna be pals, so…”

Papyrus looked pleased as Sans took his hand from his jacket pocket. But as Frisk reached out to shake it, Pap’s smile suddenly vanished. “WAAAIT A MOMENT,” the taller brother said suspiciously. “SANS, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT—”

Too late. The moment Frisk grasped the skeleton’s hand, something erupted in a palm-tickling explosion of Pfffffftttttppppppfffffffff…ffffffppp…pppf…pp……p.

Silence.

“OH. MY. GOD,” Papyrus said in the voice of doom, and rounded on his brother. “SANS, YOU IMBECILE! YOU HAVE BROKEN THE HUMAN! LOOK, IT ISN’T MOVING! IT—”

Frisk couldn’t hold it in: she howled with laughter, and only got louder as Sans pulled his hand back to reveal the rubbery, air-filled contraption that had made the rude noise. “what can i say? it’s always funny,” he said proudly. “quite a gas.”

“HOW COULD YOU, BROTHER?! THIS IS A CLEAR VIOLATION OF ACQUAINTANCE ETIQUETTE!” raged Papyrus. “HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO ASCEND THE HEIGHTS OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP NOW THAT YOUR IDIOTIC PRANK HAS DAMAGED THE SMALL HUMAN?!” Papyrus stabbed a gloved finger at Frisk, who was now doubled over. “IF THIS IS HOW YOU ARE GOING TO BEHAVE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME NOW! YES, HOME! YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR ROOM IN CASE WE HAVE HUMAN GUESTS!”

“i dunno, bro,” said Sans, winking at Frisk again. “it’s probably too heavy for me. you should get it instead.”

“NYEHHH! I MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT GET IT!”

“aw, pap, don’t be so hard on yourself. i’m sure if you just try harder—”

“LEAVE!! NOW!!!”

Funny as the brothers were, that seemed harsh to Frisk—the nearest houses had to be pretty far away from the Grand Hall, and making Sans walk all the way back because of a few jokes was a little much. She eyed Papyrus doubtfully, wondering if he was like humans after all.

“it’s fine, kiddo,” Sans told her, as if reading her thoughts. He winked one more time. “don’t worry, i know a shortcut. so, eye will see ya later.”

Before Frisk could react, Sans was…gone. Baffled, she looked around, then up at Papyrus. “HM? OH, YES. SANS HAS DEVELOPED HIS MAGIC EXACTLY ENOUGH TO BE AS LAZY AS POSSIBLE,” the tall skeleton said distastefully. “I CAN ONLY HOPE HE IS ACTUALLY CLEANING HIS ROOM NOW. MORE LIKELY, HE IS—”

There was a sound of clapping and cheering from the Grand Hall. “THAT’S RIGHT!” Papyrus threw his red scarf over his collarbone. “COME ALONG, HUMAN! I SHALL INTRODUCE YOU TO THE OTHER MONSTERS! YOU WILL BE DELIGHTED TO MEET THEM, ESPECIALLY THE ROYAL GUARD, AND THE FEELING WILL BE MUTUAL! NYEH-HEH! FOLLOW ME, NEW ACQUAINTANCE!”

“Um…” Frisk bit her lip. Papyrus was a lot to take in, especially without warning, but he didn’t seem to be faking his enthusiasm, or his kindness. Frisk looked at him, made up her mind, and smiled again. “Can we be friends now?” she asked, holding up her hand.

The skeleton’s cheekbones turned bright pink, somehow, eye sockets going wide and glittery. “REALLY?!? WOWIE! I CAN’T BELIEVE I—” He made a noise like a cough. “I MEAN…O-OF COURSE YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND, KRIS! I AM EXTREMELY GREAT.” Papyrus leaned down a little to take her hand. “COME ALONG! AS A FRIEND OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS, YOU SHALL BE KNOWN AND LOVED BY ALL! NYEH-HEH-HEH!”

Frisk sure hoped so, especially if the other monsters were as nice as he was. Even if they weren’t, she’d already made new friends, exactly like she was supposed to. Mama couldn’t be mad at her for that, and Chara couldn’t take them away from her!

 ~

 The dream with Asriel was a fitting end to a frustrating night. Sans had picked the biggest inn he could find and asked for a room with the biggest bed they had, only to find that it still wasn’t big enough for him. He didn’t want to try sleeping in his disguise, which meant another night stretched out on the floor, longing for the massive bed in the High Priestess’ quarters. He never would have thought he’d want to go back to the humans’ castle—that damn bed had spoiled him for life! Not to mention that when he was sleeping in it, he had Frisk all to himself…

He had just started dozing off when the door to the next room opened and closed, a couple of human voices whispering back and forth. Sans made the mistake of concluding that that was it, and was completely unprepared for the sounds that exploded through the wall a minute later.

Sans was not an expert on human…anything, but he knew was he was hearing, and that he was hearing it very very loudly. At that point, he had several options; after mulling exactly one of them over, he sat up and ran a thread of magic through the lamp fixture over the bed, worming it through the conduits in the wall and into the next room. From there, he could feel the vibrations of the bed moving – ugh – and spread his magic in a thin layer under one side of the mattress; then he twitched his hand, and grinned at the shrieks and thuds of the couple being dumped onto the floor.

Unsurprisingly, he didn’t need to do anything else. The humans got dressed in a hurry, grabbed their things, and left, and did not come back. Sans let his magic dissipate and settled down, feeling a little smug, but mostly annoyed that the sounds were still stuck in his head.

The giant skeleton tossed and turned, dreamed, and got up in the morning a lot later than he intended; he was so unrested, and so disturbed at having seen Asriel – had it been real? Why and how would the Prince visit him of all people? Why now? – that he barely remembered to put his chain back on before he left the room. He forgot to ask directions when he checked out and had to grump his way around town at random, looking for the stables the warehouse lady had mentioned. He had to get the carts and horses, then go to all the stupid places and get the stupid things…

Well, this wasn’t the right way: he was on a street lined with cute little cafes and humans sitting around in fancy metal chairs. He stopped to get his bearings, and nearly swore as his stomach growled. At least there were food stands everywhere…but what the hell was a “crepe”?

A minute later, he found a place to sit down and gnaw on a couple of folded-over, chocolatey things, which were actually pretty good. There wasn’t much to do as he ate but people-watch, which would have been kind of neat if the people in question weren’t humans. They followed the overall pattern he’d observed at the castle, where the men were loud and stupid-looking, while the women were also loud and ranged from scrawny to actually-lumpy to extremely lumpy. Even the ones with nice faces were still too…human, without any soothing voices, or graceful movements, or sweet expressions…

It made him wonder yet again if Frisk’s SOUL was the real reason he’d been so drawn to her; the first time he’d seen it, he was scared shitless, and then he wanted to rip it out for strictly non-romantic purposes. Was it because she’d reminded him so much of Kris? Or would he have just eventually fallen in love with any human who was powerful enough for him, even if she was a gross person on the outside or inside?

…Nope. It was because she was Frisk. Satisfied with that line of introspection, Sans finished the second crepe and tossed the wrappers in a trash can, forgetting that she wasn’t there to yell at him for littering. Time to ask someone for directions to a more useful part of town.

The first person he talked to just shrugged, and the next pointed him the wrong way entirely, but an irate half-hour later, Sans was back on the right track. This street seemed much dingier, with fewer people around; it smelled weird, too, like horse pee and desperation.

Maybe that was why someone had started following him. Sans smiled to himself, wiggling his fingers inside his coat pockets. Should he get further into the back alleyways before he confronted the guy, or—

“Heya.”

Sans glanced to his right. A man in his early twenties was standing by a side street, nodding at him. “C’mon this way,” he said. “Got somethin’ to show you.”

           “I don’t think so, pal,” said the disguised boss monster. “Whatever ya want, you’re wastin’ yer time. Don’t have any cash on me.” Without waiting for an answer, he speed-walked further ahead, grinning as he heard a soft whistle behind him.

           Sure enough, someone was waiting right around the next corner, an older man in nice clothes. “Excuse me, sir,” he said loudly, “but do you have the time?”

           Sans thought of the old woman again and snorted. “Nope,” he replied, and tried to walk around him.

           The man quick-stepped back into Sans’ way. “My. Her Eminence doesn’t pay you enough to buy a watch?” he asked innocently.

           What the hell? He wasn’t wearing the armband. “Who said anythin’ about—”

The distraction almost worked: the guy made a sudden feint toward him, and if Sans had been any less alert, he’d have backed right into the human sneaking up to grab his neck with a wire loop. Instead, Sans pivoted and slammed an elbow into his would-be assailant so hard that he felt the guy’s ribs crack. The man who’d stopped him cursed under his breath, turning to run.

Almost absent-mindedly, Sans waved a finger in the fleeing human’s direction. There was a shnk of bone erupting from the pavement, and a muffled scream as the man’s ankle was impaled mid-flight. The rest of his body yanked to a stop and hit the ground in a twisted heap.

Footsteps pounded toward them, and Sans turned to face the first guy who’d talked to him, then one other human. They sized up the situation and moved to either side of him, one armed with some kind of club and the other sporting a huge knife.

Sans gave a low laugh as bloodlust started bubbling to the surface. Finally! This was what he’d been waiting for! No more playing cute and harmless! No more letting people do whatever the hell they wanted with him! No witnesses!

Really, the only problem was that it was too easy. Sans let the one with the knife get in close, then grabbed his arm and broke it at the elbow, spinning the would-be assassin around and shoving him into the guy with the club. Both humans hit the ground, but the knife guy was up in a moment, scrabbling for his weapon with his good hand. Sans kicked the knife away, pinned both of his palms to the ground with a couple more bones, and lifted the remaining human by the neck with his magic.

Was that it? He glanced around at the one with the wire loop – on the ground, struggling to breathe – then the guy with the impaled ankle, who seemed to have passed out. The third was staring at his hands and making weird noises – not very knife of him, ha ha – and the last one dangled a few inches off the ground, clawing at the red mist around his throat.

Sans hummed under his breath, surveying the four men with an artistic eye. Well! Where to begin? Might as well start with the one he was holding up. The human windpipe was so fragile that one good crunch would do it…but no one said it’d have to be a quick crunch. Sans began to apply pressure, slow and hard, and grinned as the man’s eyes bulged in terror—

           Out of nowhere, he froze mid-squeeze as a strange emotion hit him. It was…nostalgia, and then—guilt? That was it; the longer Sans stared at the captive human, the less he enjoyed the guy’s fear and despair. He knew exactly what it felt like to be trapped by someone stronger, didn’t he? Back in his jail cell, cowering behind a human witch’s barrier, knowing she could do any damn thing she pleased to him—had he looked like this to her?

           Sans shook his head in irritation. What was he thinking? That was different! He wasn’t Frisk, and these guys had tried to kill him!

           …just like he’d tried to kill her before and after she stopped him from hurting anyone. What had she done to retaliate? Kept him safe, given him her own stupidly oversized bed, let him sleep for over a day, and fed him more in one sitting than he’d eaten in goddamn weeks.

Sans tried again to shake it off, to rationalize that no one in their right mind would hold a psycho like him to Frisk’s standards, but when he looked again at the human in his grasp…

No, dammit! These assholes had attacked him out of nowhere, and he’d defended himself! Surely she wouldn’t expect him to just stand there and get murdered?

…But none of these guys could move under their own power anymore, much less hurt him. Now Sans could see Frisk snarling up at him in all her tiny, furious glory: “If you kill anyone and you cannot look me in the eye to tell me why it was necessary, I don't want you to come back at all!”

           Argh! It wasn’t fair! She wasn’t here to stop him—she would never even know! Why should he quit right when it was finally getting good? Couldn’t he at least nick ‘em a few more times, enough to make them sorry? They might be pretty sorry already, but… “But,” Sans mumbled out loud, scowling.

Now he was thinking of Dr. Serif. The boss monster could practically hear his cool, smug voice: “But what, Sans?”

           Tch. If he had to be hearing things, he’d much rather it be Frisk. He knew he should’ve taken a shortcut back to the Underground last night. Then he could’ve seen her and…done…something? Maybe he wouldn’t be so damn frustrated now, his mind jumping all over the place…

           “Sans.”

Oh, shit. What about the fortune-teller? “Don’t kill anyone.” That guy had been right about stuff so far; would something happen to Frisk if Sans ignored his stupid, cheap advice? For all he knew, it could—

           “SANS.”

           “What?” he snapped. “Whaddya want, Doc…tor?” He gaped at Dr. Serif, who was standing only a few yards away, arms folded. “The fuck are you doin’ here?” demanded Sans, releasing the human from mid-air and ignoring his wheezing.

Dr. Serif came closer and made two gestures. A skeletal hand popped up and seized the fallen human by the throat, glowing green before vanishing. “He should live,” the royal sorcerer said crisply. He glanced at the man whose hands were affixed to the pavement, and the one up ahead. “In the meantime, do you plan to leave these gentlemen like that?”

           Sans was still mad that he couldn’t leave them dead, but… He made a disgusted noise, and the bones all vanished. “Ya gonna tell me why you’re here, or what?”

           “What.” Dr. Serif walked past Sans and snapped his fingers. Two pairs of disembodied hands sprang out of thin air, and one latched onto each human’s head; to Sans’ immense discomfort, the hands glowed blue, and each man obediently got up with sluggish, jerky motions – even the one with the shattered ankle –  to come sit in a row, legs crossed like schoolchildren. “Why did you attack this man?” Dr. Serif inquired. “Only speak if you have useful information.”

The human with the broken ribs mumbled, “He’s the High Priestess’ agent,” in a voice that made Sans feel even weirder. There was good old-fashioned violence, and there was this. “Gonna hold him for ransom and lure in the skeleton.”

“Do not lie to me.” The humans jerked, eyes going glassy as the blue intensified. “This is not an instrument of live capture,” said the royal sorcerer, retrieving the wire loop with yet another hand. “Why do you, or your employers, want him dead?”

There was a round of silence. Evidently, no one knew, or probably cared. They’d had their orders, and that was that.

Sans stepped closer. “Were you the ones going after Frisk a few weeks ago—the High Priestess? Are you gonna try it again?”

“Wasn’t us,” said one.

“No one’s supposed to kill her anymore,” said another, and his associates nodded slowly.

Dr. Serif blinked a few times. “According to who, and since when?”

“Last week. Someone paid the Assassin’s Guild to blacklist her. She’s untouchable—anyone who goes after her gets a bounty put on his head.”

Sans had never seen the royal sorcerer so taken aback. “I didn’t know that was even possible. It would cost several hundred thou—no, a million dinar to make it worth their while,” he muttered. “Do you have any idea who did it?”

More silence. Meanwhile, Sans was not that surprised to find out there was a formal guild for murderers. Humans were such fucking scumbags.

“Are you affiliated with poachers, then?” was Dr. Serif’s next question.

“Yeah,” they all said at once.

The doctor’s foot tapped a few times. “Does your attack on the priestess’ agent have to do with the timing of his delivery to the Underground? Fewer monsters will be venturing outside if food is being brought directly to them—I assume you wanted to prevent this?”

Sans watched the men’s faces stay blank. That was probably too many words for them. “What’re you gonna do if ya can’t catch any monsters?” he asked instead.

The blue light intensified again, and someone finally mumbled, “Ransom. The High Priestess will pay to get her agent back. She won’t know he’s dead yet.”

Dr. Serif frowned. “And you’re hoping she’ll send the boss monster to rescue him?”

Nods. “It’s worth a hell of a lot of money.”

There was an odd pause. “For his magic?” the doctor asked.

“And ransom. She’s screwin’ it,” one man said tonelessly.

Dr. Serif grabbed Sans’ shoulder to restrain him. “Surely you’re not taking that rumor seriously,” he said. “It can’t be worth the danger of trying to capture such a powerful monster—he was relatively weak when he was first caught, and two men still died of their injuries.”

“Lady payin’ us says it’s true. She doesn’t want Her Eminence arrested for mis…missen—”

“Miscegenation?” growled Sans.

“Yeah. That. She wants us to catch it, but not kill it. We’ll keep it and get a shitload of magic, then sell it back later. Win-win.”

“Hm. So, your employer is a woman who wants to help the High Priestess? What is her name?”

No one answered. The blue light flickered, and one man finally said, “Dunno. We just got a few letters, and payment up front. Pretty sure it’s a rich lady ‘cause of the handwriting and the way the paper smelled, but we don’t know for sure.”

The doctor stared the man down, still holding Sans’ shoulder. “And she has hired you to hold the skeleton prisoner…for how long, exactly? And through what means?”

The human shrugged. “She said she’d tell us more once we killed this guy.”

Dr. Serif thought about it for a moment, then snapped his fingers again. The skeletal hands tightened, and Sans watched the men writhe in tandem and fall sideways like puppets with cut strings. “Well, that was more interesting than expected,” said the royal sorcerer. His hand tightened on Sans’ shoulder. “Come along.”

Sans shut his eyes as magic surged around them. It didn’t have the rushing-through-space feel of his shortcuts; this was more as if the ground had jumped out from beneath their feet and just as quickly hopped back into place. He opened his eyes and started. “Where—”

They were standing outside a large, well-kept stable. The doctor released him, saying, “I must commend you for not killing any of those men. We’ve acquired valuable information, and once they wake up, word will get around that the High Priestess’ agent is not to be trifled with.” He smiled, ever so slightly. “They will not recall I was even there.”

Sans gestured impatiently. “What the fuck was that about? Someone wants human-me dead, but they just wanna borrow real me to keep Frisk outta jail? An’ someone else’s paid out the ass to keep her alive? What’s—”

“It could well be the same person.” The royal sorcerer brushed some dust off his robe. “What is miscegenation?” he asked curtly.

Sans’ toes curled. “Boning a monster. It’s a literal crime. I heard somebody talking about it last night.”

“Interesting,” the doctor said slowly. “No one spreading that rumor in the city seems to know about it yet.” Sigh. “If you overheard it here, I suppose it’s only a matter of time before everyone knows.”

Sans didn’t want to talk about that right now, or ever. “How long were you following me?” he asked instead.

Pause. “Long enough.”

The boss monster didn’t like that, either. “Whatever,” Sans mumbled. “But thanks fer gettin’ all that stuff out of ‘em. You’re pretty freaky, but I guess ya come in handy.”

He heard the familiar sound of someone ignoring a pun, and then “You’re welcome.” Dr. Serif crossed his arms. “I was sent here to intercept you and the High Priestess. Given that I have not seen Her Eminence with you, may I assume you were foolish enough to come alone?”

           “Uh…”

           “As you were also foolish enough to leave the castle when and how you both did, I am not surprised.”

           Sans snorted. “Ya think that was my idea?”

           “No, but this almost certainly was.” The royal sorcerer gestured to the smushed roll of papers in Sans’ front pocket. “Come along. There should be three carts on reserve in Frisk’s name here, for when you were supposed to have picked them up on your way to the Underground.”

           Sans followed him into the stable. “What, ya didn’t like us bailin’ on you?” he asked, taking childish pleasure in the older skeleton’s annoyance.

           The doctor reached back without looking and took the papers from Sans’ pocket. “Hello,” Dr. Serif said cordially to the human behind the counter, who stepped right up to assist them.

           This turned out to be prophetic: the doctor not only accompanied him everywhere for the rest of the morning and afternoon, he took complete charge. He made things so much smoother that Sans couldn’t even be mad about it; people listened to him, and he could fully answer their questions while Sans inspected the cargo and supervised the loading. The doctor also signed the bills of lading, reminding Sans after the first visit that as a perfectly normal human and not a monster in disguise, he was not “Sans” and needed to pick a pseudonym already.

           They had almost no time to eat lunch or dinner, electing to grab a couple of sandwiches as the drivers brought the carts to the second-to-last warehouse. “So, was it your idea to swoop in on us like this?” Sans asked. “I know it was annoying to wake up and have us gone, but—”

           “His Majesty is extremely unamused by his daughter’s behavior,” said the royal sorcerer, in a tone that wiped the smirk off Sans’ face. “To be very honest, I am glad I will not be there when Her Eminence receives this.” He extracted a long, expensive-looking envelope from his robe. “His Majesty assembled the paperwork yesterday for—”

           “The adoption thing?” Sans interrupted. “Is it true?”

           Dr. Serif made a face. “No matter where I go, the speed of gossip remains constant.” Another sigh. “Whatever you’ve heard is likely true. Should Frisk’s mission prove successful, His Majesty is prepared not only to pardon her theft, but place her directly in the line of succession.”

           Sans took a long sip of water, trying and failing to figure that one out. “I thought ya said he was pissed off at her. Why…?”

           “Tell me, Sans. Knowing Frisk, do you think she would appreciate being pressured into accepting such a heavy responsibility, especially in anticipation of her little brother’s death? His Majesty knows exactly how she will feel about it.” Dr. Serif paused for a huge bite of his sandwich. “Also, he may personally be unhappy with her actions, but he knows better than anyone that if she can outmaneuver him, then she is worthy of the throne.”

           Fuck. “Yeah, when ya put it like that—”

           The royal sorcerer glanced at him. “Out of curiosity, when did you learn that the King was her father?”

           “Not till we were almost t’the Underground. I kinda found out by accident.”

           Dr. Serif half-smiled. “It’s been common knowledge ever since she was brought to St. Brigid’s. And…by any chance, did she ever tell you anything about her mother?”

           Sans had to whack himself in the chest as the last wad of his sandwich threatened to get stuck in his windpipe. Why did human bodies use the same damn tube for breathing and eating? “Only that she’s dead,” he rasped. “Why?”

           “Wipe your hands, please, and put this somewhere safe until you can give it to her.” Dr. Serif held out the gilt envelope. “It contains copies of all the relevant documents, including an investiture of nobility—she would technically become a duchess first, then Crown Princess upon the death of the King or the Prince.”

Sans scrubbed his hands on his shirt and took the envelope. He was thinking so hard that he almost didn’t notice Frisk’s full name in fancy cursive across the front; then he looked again, and stared at it for a minute, and finally said, “Huh.”

           “You don’t seem entirely surprised,” the doctor observed, sounding almost disappointed. “Have you already heard something to that effect?”

           “Yeah. I had a long talk with Grillby the other day, and…I wasn’t gonna ask Frisk, but I was kinda wondering, and then she said…” Had the King done the calligraphy himself? “I never did hear her last name. I figured the High Priestess just doesn’t need one.”

           “It was not hers to use for most of her life, and I would be very surprised if she chose to do so now, or ever. According to what I have gleaned from Rosa, the name does not have pleasant associations for Frisk—another fact of which the King is very aware.”

           “Holy shit.” Sans looked at the envelope again. “He’s callin’ her that ta piss her off?”

           “It is technically her legal name and belongs on a document of this importance. So, yes.”

           “Shit.” Sans scratched the back of his head, thinking even harder. “So whoever filled out the paperwork for him knows her name, too? Which means everyone is gonna know about it by the time we get back?”

           The doctor raised an eyebrow. “You’re coming back with her, then?” He let the question hang in the air, and Sans ignored it till Dr. Serif continued, “You are correct. I am genuinely sorry to leave this with you, but you will have to give her the news before you return, or else she will be completely blindsided. Please don’t do that to her.”

           Sans wasn’t going to admit that the thought had already crossed his mind: throw the envelope away, let her enjoy the rest of her time in the Underground, and feign astonishment when they got back – hopefully triumphant – and found out she’d someday have the power to do literally anything she pleased, such as freeing monsters with a single decree.

           Except…she was already helping monsters, and had already spent three lonely, stressful years as High Priestess. How much worse would her life be if she became the actual Queen? Would it technically fit that second fortune? Fear stabbed him so hard that he could barely breathe—what if she got surrounded by advisers and hangers-on determined to harass him away from her? There was no telling how long her father and half-brother would be around, and they probably wouldn’t let her keep a pet skeleton around, not to mention a suspiciously bony kid…

           Sans couldn’t help it. Dr. Serif eyed him warily as the boss monster snickered again: a fucking crime. It was too perfect.

           The carts were ready now. The boss monster tucked the fancy envelope into an inner pocket and resolved to quit thinking about it for now. Frisk could handle this; she’d know what to do. If she didn’t, they’d figure it out together.

 ~

             Thankfully, the rest of the afternoon was pretty uneventful. By the time they were ready to head back to the Underground, the sun was just touching the horizon.

           Everything had fit into three large-ish carts, which Frisk had accurately predicted would be a better idea than two really huge ones. The drivers were nervous about starting so late in the day, but Dr. Serif had implied that they were just headed to the city, the road to which was well-lit and patrolled by watchmen. Sans got a huge kick out of seeing the humans’ faces when the procession reached the outskirts of the village, went about a hundred yards, and came to a sudden halt. “You may remove the horses now,” said the doctor. “Please return to the village. Here is a small gratuity for your trouble.”

           If the humans had questions, they were effectively answered by the five-hundred-dinar pieces Dr. Serif placed in each of their hands. They unhitched the horses and jogged them back in the fast-fading light without a backward glance, leaving the loaded carts sitting in the road.

           From there, the disguised monsters waited until no one was in sight – not difficult, given the hour and the cold – and then enacted the plan they’d agreed upon earlier: Sans encased the lightest cart in a film of red magic, thought carefully about the place by the river where Undyne had attacked him, and teleported the whole thing there. No more than ten seconds later, a large patch of blackness crept over the pale bedrock; Gaster rose from it head-first, followed by the carts, and everything settled into place as the ground shimmered back into ordinary rock-ness.

           “What the crap?” Sans pulled his chain off. “How do you even have that much magic?”

           Gaster brushed himself off again with two extra hands, keeping his own tucked beneath his flowing black coat. He glided in a circle around the carts, checking that they had made the journey safely, and nodded. “Surely you’re not worn out from one spell?”

           “No, but I’m a damn boss monster!”

           The older skeleton smiled. A hand appeared in front of Sans, holding a gray orb slightly bigger than the hole in its palm. “Humans use these to store magic. Keep at least one on your person at all times and let it absorb your ambient power. Put it away when full, then repeat the process. Do so regularly, and you will soon have a supply built up for contingencies exactly like this.” The hand vanished. “Has Her Eminence used the teleportation spell I gave her yet?”

           Sans remembered the brooch she’d gotten on All Souls Day, and shook his head. “I don’t think so, but she wears it a lot.”

           “Good.” Gaster looked at the nearly-night sky. “Lead the way.”

           The boss monster wondered exactly how many more of those stones Gaster had squirreled away in whatever fold of subspace he was using, and contented himself with the fact that the creepy bastard still seemed to be on their side—Sans hadn’t forgotten the fortune about bewaring him, but right now, he didn’t have much choice. Even the lightest of the carts was much heavier than the wagons full of monsters had been, and as tired as he was, he doubted he could’ve pulled or teleported them all on his own.

Gaster’s extra hands were pulling and pushing two of the carts with apparent ease as they followed the river. Sans tried to think of something that would pass the time without leading to invasive questions, and finally thought to ask, “The solar panel demonstration went okay?”

           “Oh, yes.” Gaster’s voice was neutral, and it was impossible to read his expression in profile. “Someone attempted to sabotage it by cutting several of the wires on the main panel, so I used my own magic as a substitute. It was most impressive, if I say so myself.”

           That sounded like one problem too many. They had enough crap to deal with in the Underground without worrying about sabotage or the King being passive-aggressive or some random lady who wanted to keep him away from Frisk! Get in line, he thought bitterly.

           “How is Her Eminence’s mission going?” asked Gaster, as if reading his mind.

           “Pretty good, I think. Asgore hasn’t met with her yet, but he’s letting her do whatever.” Sans felt the corners of his mouth lift. “She’s spent a couple nights with Undyne and Alphys at Toriel’s house, havin’ some girl time. They went shopping yesterday, ‘n pro’ly today.”

           Gaster nodded. “I don’t know how you intended to do this alone,” he said, glancing at the carts, “but given your accelerated timeline, I suppose it was the best way to let her enjoy herself for a day or two. It will also help her cause if the monsters see a great deal of her firsthand.”

           Sans knew what he meant—all Frisk had to do to win them over was be herself. He didn’t notice that he was smiling until he felt Gaster’s stare; the other skeleton was suddenly in front of him, drifting backwards as Sans walked. “Don’t mind me,” murmured the royal sorcerer, examining the boss monster’s sternum.

           “What’s my LV?” Sans asked bluntly.

           Gaster reappeared beside the cart. “You are at LV 16.”

           Sans was…almost surprised. Gaster gave him a hard look. “The first time I checked, you were—”

           A sound off to their left made both skeletons stop to listen. It was faint, but unmistakable. “Keep going,” Gaster said, and they picked up the pace, both assuming their disguises.

           There was no question of outrunning the humans, so they let the sound of hoofbeats gradually overtake them. “Well, well,” said the first rider, pulling up in front of the carts and forcing them to stop. Two more poachers rode up alongside, and three more brought up the rear. Each man had a coil of chain slung over his shoulder, and their leader carried a heavy crossbow. “What are you doing out here so late?” he demanded. “Where you headed with all that?”

           “The Underground,” Dr. Serif said calmly. “We have no monsters or valuables with us, so if you would kindl—”

           “Bullshit.” The leader nodded to the other men. “Search ‘em. There’s gotta be—”

           Sans didn’t even see what happened next: an unseen force yanked each man out of the saddle to hit the bedrock, filling the air with thumps, whinnying, and curses. “This is your last warning,” said Dr. Serif, still sounding very reasonable. “Leave us, or you will suffer.”

           When the men didn’t answer – except for more profanity – the doctor made a gesture. This time, Sans glimpsed the skeletal hands smacking the horses on the rump, one after another; the animals screamed in panic, nearly trampling their riders as they bolted in different directions.

The poachers gaped at each other, then at the human-shaped skeletons. “What the fuck are you?” demanded the leader. With no warning, he whipped up his crossbow to fire at—

           —Gaster, whose body had vanished, leaving nothing but an eerie smile and empty sockets. “Well, then,” he murmured, his eyes lighting blue and yellow. He glanced at Sans. “Please go on without me. I will see you back at the castle in…” He paused, counting on a set of hands. “…nine days.” The fingers snapped once, twice, thrice. “My regards to Her Eminence.”

           Sans opened his mouth to object, and the ground dropped out from beneath him.

 ~

             Silence descended in his wake, leaving the poachers in abject terror. Without the carts’ lanterns, it was impossible to see anything but the light in Gaster’s sockets. “Well,” the monster said. He looked at the men with mild curiosity, like a child with a jar full of insects. The leader jerked as a hand suddenly latched onto his face. “Can I trust you to keep this little encounter a secret?” asked Gaster.

The man nodded frantically, clawing at the hand as blood began welling under its phalanges. The others nodded, too, babbling reassurance.

“Good,” the skeleton said pleasantly. The humans had exactly enough time to start hoping before his eye-lights dilated, illuminating the hideous, masklike face. “What a pity that I do not believe you.”

There was a gruesome sound, and another, and another, and another. Silence; a tide of magic rose and swept over the bedrock, leaving nothing behind but a few splashes of blood.

Gaster nodded in satisfaction and turned to rinse his hands in the river, humming Sans’ favorite song. He paused long enough to chuckle to himself, then brushed his coat off once more, extracted a fresh stone from his coat, and vanished.

 ~

             The sentries outside the Grand Hall’s gates rolled their eyes as another knock came from within. “Any sign of him?” someone asked through the crack.

           “No,” the rabbit monster snapped. “For the last time, you don’t need to keep asking every ten minutes! We’ll tell you when he—”

           A long, low sound from the opposite direction cut him short. “Sans?” called the guard.

           “The one an’ only,” a gruff voice answered over the rise. In the still, cold air, they could now hear the sound of wheels on sandy rock, and the labored breathing of a boss monster managing three heavily laden carts by himself. “Can I get some damn help here?”

           Twenty minutes later, Sans had recovered enough to get up from the cavern floor and hobble through the swarm of hungry monsters by the gates, some of whom had been waiting all day for their share of the food. “You guys don’t need to inspect it,” the colossal skeleton informed the guards, who were busy walking around the carts and poking them at random. “Me an’…someone I trust watched ‘em load it up.”

           The rabbit guard looked at his partner, then at Sans. “This came from humans, right? It’s probably gotta be—”

           “It’s gotta get out to people now,” Sans growled. He pointed at someone randomly. “Go get more help, whoever’s awake. I’m gonna go find Her Majesty.”

           “No need,” said a clear voice. The monsters all bowed out of the way as Toriel stepped off the patchy gray sand of the central aisle. “I am glad to see you back safely, Sans. Thank you so much for your efforts,” said the former Queen. “Please, get some sleep. I will handle the rest.”

           Sans was so tired that he could barely stay upright, but he shook his head. “I’m gonna check in with Asgore first.” Toriel’s face darkened, and he sighed. “C’mon, To—Your Majesty, ya know he’ll freak out if he finds out this came in without ‘im knowing.”

           The other boss monster sighed, closing her eyes. “True. And if you go now, you may run into the Captain and Dr. Alphys. They will also want to know you’ve arrived safely. But after that, I want you go straight home! Do you hear me?”

           He did, but sleep could wait: if those two were at Asgore’s house, then Frisk might be, too. His magic flared up, and without another thought, the skeleton took himself straight there.

           Remembering how easily the women had detected him before, Sans aimed for the end of the house near the master bedroom, and caught himself with only a slight stagger into the wall. Voices were coming from the living room; the boss monster waited for his vision to clear, then pushed himself upright and crept down the hall to listen.

           “It is lovely,” Asgore was murmuring. There was a musical clinking of fine metal and china—the King must be looking at the tea service Frisk had picked out for him.

           “Yeah, she was pretty proud of it. Everything she’s brought has been awesome,” agreed Undyne.

Sans scowled. Frisk wasn’t here after all. Well, he didn’t have enough magic to zero in on wherever she was, and Undyne was still talking, so he might as well eavesdrop. “She got me some targets, and comi—uh, battle strategies, and stuff for my scales. It was really thoughtful,” said the Royal Guard Captain.

           “And I can finally finish Adventure Lady!” Alphys exclaimed. “C-can you believe it?!”

           To Sans’ surprise, Asgore chuckled. He didn’t think the King knew how to do that anymore. “I’m glad to hear it, Doctor. I know how much that was bothering you.” Clink. “What about the agricultural implements Sans mentioned?”

“Yes, Y-Your Majesty. We spent a few hours today looking them over—she knows how to treat plants so that they can go days without being watered! We t-talked about different chemicals that can improve the quality of our soil, specific nutrients for whichever crops we decide to plant first, and all the seeds she brought. The next step is to decide which fields to convert to pasture if we want to raise c-cattle or sheep.”

“Hmm. Yes, that would be wonderful.” Sans heard tea being poured and china clinking again. “What else has she been up to?” asked the King.

“We went shopping for clothes yesterday,” the Captain said, “and Mettaton is teaching her how to dance. It was pretty fun—did you hear he wants to have a big party before she leaves?”

“Yes, I have. Some festivities could be good for our people, but…we’ll see.”

“Right.” She cleared her throat. “And just so you know, Majesty, we’ve spent the past couple nights at the Ruins.”

A long pause. “I…see. Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah,” Undyne said quietly. “Everyone did.”

“That…” Asgore heaved a great sigh. “That’s good to hear. What about today?”

Undyne’s chair creaked. “Today was a little more complicated. She checked on some of the people she brought back—not that she busted in on anyone,” the fish monster added hastily. “She only got started ‘cause Vulkin asked her to come visit.”

Asgore made a startled noise. “Vulkin wanted to see her? Why?”

Sans wanted to run in and shake the King like the idiot he was, but he edged back and tried to think nicer thoughts as Undyne answered, “She said Frisk was the only human who ever gave a crap about them, basically, and her family wanted to meet her. We ended up staying for over an hour.” Another pause. “Also, Majesty…Frisk’s got this thing she does where she can hum something at you, and it’s…really nice. Not hypnosis or anything sneaky, it just…” Sans could almost hear Undyne shrug. “Right before we left, Vulkin started getting worked up, and Frisk calmed her down just like that.”

“She’s done it for us, too, right before bedtime,” said Alphys. “I haven’t s-slept so well in forever.”

“Hm. She has other abilities, then, besides creating barriers?” He poured more tea. “Have you investigated her capabilities in that respect?”

“N-No, Your Majesty. She wanted to have your permission before she made any, even j-just to study them in the lab.”

Sans got the feeling that Asgore was a little put out by Frisk conducting herself so well. “If you believe she is trustworthy,” said the King, “then by all means, study her barriers as fully as you can. The knowledge may prove…useful.” More clinking. “Thank you for your time, both of you. Get some rest. And…” His voice softened. “Please thank her for the gift.”

The giant skeleton smiled a little. Before they could get up and notice him lurking in the hall, Sans used the tiniest wisp of magic – all that he had left – to whisk himself outside to the courtyard. He waited by the tree, foot raised as if in mid-step; when the door opened, Asgore saw him and started. “Sans! You’re back!”

“Hey, Majesty.” Sans raised a genuinely weary hand. “Yeah, I just got in with all the stuff. Everything’s fine. Just wanted to let you know.”

“Thank you very much,” the King said heartily, another trace of his old self showing. “I’ll be down right away.”

“Uh.” The bigger boss monster fake-coughed. “Please don’t, Yer Majesty. Someone’s already got it under control.”

Blink. “Some…oh.”

“Hey, you,” Undyne said, moving around Asgore and hopping down the stairs in one easy bound. “How’d it go? Are you okay?”

“It’s fine, ‘m just worn out.” Sans let out a full-force yawn. “I’ll walk back with you guys,” he said as Alphys came down the steps.

“All right, then,” Asgore murmured. “Thank you again, Sans.” The skeleton nodded, and they politely waited for the door to close before turning to leave.

“Don’t even think about it” was the first thing out of Undyne’s mouth. “She’s asleep already.”

Sans was too tired not to ask, “Where? Tori’s again?”

“I’m not telling you!” snapped the fish-woman. “We had a lot of fun yesterday, but today was pretty rough on her.” She eyed him as they stepped into the elevator and waited for the grating to close. “You don’t look so hot, either.”

“I will be in a minute.” Sans swayed on his feet as the elevator descended. “After all, we’re goin’ to Hotland.”

Undyne twitched. “Nope. We’re not doing those.”

“Aww, c’mon, fish-face.” Yawn. “I’m just gettin’ warmed up.”

Twitch. “I’m serious, boss. Drop it.”

“Drop it like…it’s hot?”

“I SAID—”

The elevator ground to a halt, and he felt Alphys tug on his coat. “L-let’s go to my lab, Sans. You can take a nap and get some magic back befo—not yet!”

Sans had the impression of falling and something grabbing him, but he didn’t pay much attention till Undyne heaved him onto the lab’s concrete floor. “Ow,” he tried to say, but it was too much effort; he decided to pass out instead.

 ~

             They weren’t heading to the family’s main house; for some reason, Asriel had insisted she come with him to the one in the Ruins, where he and his mother had been living before the delegation arrived. He’d told her that he had a surprise for her, but he was so anxious that she didn’t think it was going to be a good one.

           Good or not, she had to admit that when Asriel opened the bedroom door and motioned her inside, she was very surprised: she backpedaled so hard that she crashed into his legs.

           “It’s all right,” said Chara, very quietly, from her seat on the bed. “I wouldn’t be glad to see me, either.”

           “Chara,” Asriel protested.

           “It’s true.” The woman watched Frisk lean into Asriel, clutching his robe with one small hand. “Isn’t it, Frisk?” she added.

           The child inhaled sharply, looking up at the Prince in alarm. “It’s all right,” he told her, smiling with such affection that she had to smile back. “I know all about you, Frisk. You’re ten years old, and you’re a girl, and you belong here. In fact, you could say you’ve come home.” He looked at Chara, beaming. “Right, sis?”

 ~

             Sans must have teleported from the lab at some point – maybe in his sleep – because when he properly awoke, he was in his own room. The boss monster sat up and turned the light on with a speck of magic. A glance at the clock made him do a double take: how was it almost ten o’clock?! Sans sprang to his feet and zipped down to the living room.

           No one was there, but he heard children running around outside, with the occasional shriek of happiness, or anger, or possibly disembowelment—he never could tell with kids. There was Papyrus’ voice, and Undyne’s; then he heard Frisk, and without thinking, he took another shortcut out beside the house.

           Before San could get his bearings, a handful of snow hit him upside the head. “Morning, boss!” shouted Undyne. “About time!”

           “GOOD MORNING, BROTHER!” Papyrus raised his head from beneath a pile of children. “WE ARE AT WAR! WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN US?”

           Sans blinked. “War?”

           “Yes, indeed,” Frisk said gravely, and he looked up to see her standing on the balcony, not far above his eye level. Magic rippled through him in gentle waves as she smiled. “Is everyone ready?” she asked the monsters.

           The giant skeleton came forward for a better view as the children sprang to their feet, or paws, or seahorse tail. Frisk dipped something into a narrow bottle, raised it to her mouth, and leaned over the railing to blow a stream of huge, wobbly, fast-floating bubbles.

           In an instant, the kids were charging after them, leaping and clawing and even biting them joyfully out of the air. Frisk dipped the stick again and angled herself toward Papyrus to blow another round of bubbles; instead of popping them, the younger skeleton surrounded each one in blue and sent them flying in all directions, which was Undyne’s cue to materialize a short spear and leap after them, yelling, “Come back here, you cowards!”

           When the last bubble had been vanquished, Frisk made even more of them, almost obscuring the pack of children; this time, Papyrus used his magic to grab all the bubbles, and instead of chasing after them, the kids tackled him again. Undyne coordinated the assault, directing her troops to surround the enemy and attack as a unit, ignoring Papyrus’ protests of being muuuurdered and that she could not have his pirate-ship bed once he was dust, because for the hundredth time even if she did have an eyepatch that did not mean she deserved to be a pirate more than him. Then everyone scattered again for Frisk to send another batch the kids’ way, and two more groups for Papyrus to keep away from Undyne.

It was hard to say who was enjoying themselves the most. Sans hadn’t seen his brother playing like this in…how long? Even some of the adult monsters were coming over to watch, standing around and chatting with each other, or asking Frisk how she’d made the bubbles and happily accepting the extra bottles she tossed down for them. It was like she’d never left…

A thought struck him, and he backed further away from the house to crane his neck all the way upward. There it was, the thin brown haze of negative energy that’d been accumulating since he absorbed the last round of it. …But—

Sans had avoided looking too directly at Frisk, and tried to take another quick peek now, only for his eyes to lock onto her. She’d taken off her cloak, revealing one of probably many new outfits: a dark-green velvet dress that accented the curves of her bust and hips, silver earrings that shimmered as she bent down to refill the bottle, and gray boots that reminded him of the fact that she had feet.

And when he finally managed to look back up toward her face, he was ambushed by the sight of a black choker. The damn thing looked like a collar, but it wasn’t even trying to be practical; it was just a little bit of lace hugging her neck, and a flagrant reminder that most things wearing collars had nothing else on. He’d contemplated keeping her as a pet, once upon a time, before he even—

           Suddenly, Undyne vaulted onto his shoulder, crashing his nasal ridge into the bottom edge of the balcony. The Royal Guard Captain rapped him on the skull with the butt of her spear, dispelling the last of his lust-induced stupor. “Quit staring, moron,” she hissed, and gestured to Frisk. “C’mon, lady, we need more bad guys to kill,” the fish monster said in a normal tone, raising her voice to finish, “unless Papyrus is too weak to keep going!”

           “I AM NOT!” The skeleton stomped his foot in feeble rage, trying to catch his breath as Undyne leapt down. “BUT PERHAPS…PERHAPS WE COULD TAKE A BREAK, FOR THE CHILDREN?” Two small monsters ran circles around him as he desperately added, “THEY SEEM VERY TIRED, NYEH-HEH!”

           Frisk bit her lip, and Sans wanted more than ever to scoop her up for a giant hug—not only was it always hot when she did that, it meant she wanted to help Pap without hurting his feelings. Luckily for everyone, his mouth-related thoughts suddenly turned in a more wholesome direction. “Hey,” Sans murmured, catching her attention. “Ya know what you oughta do?”

           The others stopped as Frisk leaned down to hear him whisper. “That’s a wonderful idea,” the priestess said warmly, and Sans felt his skull turn red. “Here, Undyne, I want the children to help me try something,” Frisk told her, dipping the wand again. “You two can supervise.”

           Papyrus was happy to accept his new role, and Sans also paid close attention to Frisk’s lips as she blew a long, low stream of smaller bubbles. The kids grabbed at them and squealed as a sound followed each pop—to their delight, every bubble now contained a tiny burst of music.

           Undyne reached out to poke one. “What, did you whistle into ‘em?” She jumped at the sudden sound, then laughed, popping another one. “That’s so damn cool!”

           “Sans thought of it,” Frisk said. She was grinning from ear to ear, almost prancing in place. “Here!” This time, instead of a single pitch, she whistled a scale of several notes, sliding up and back down; when the children popped them, it produced a whole tangle of sounds. The adult monsters drew closer as more bubbles drifted and burst, scattering bits of music through the chilly air.

“Yo!” cried Monster Kid, bounding nearly straight up for emphasis. “Guys! Let’s try to make ‘em into a song again!”

The adults chuckled and shook their heads, but the children loved the idea. And as it turned out, they were right: the sheer futility of trying to break the bubbles in the right order was so much fun that, before they knew it, nearly every monster in the field was chasing after them. No one could hear much of anything over all the shouting and laughter, but that was okay. Everything was okay.

“Sans?”

Still smiling, the giant skeleton turned to face Toriel, noting that she was coming from the ferry and not the Ruins. “What’s all this?” she asked.

“We’re slaughtering our foes in glorious battle,” a cute little bunny said in passing. “It sounds pretty!”

“LIKE THIS, YOUR MAJESTY!” Papyrus demonstrated with a couple of quick jabs.

Toriel’s eyes widened as the sounds made a faint chord. “How wonderful!” She looked in amazement at the crowd of happy, energetic monsters. “You haven’t even received your rations yet—is this an early celebration?”

“Nah, it’s just fun,” Undyne said cheerfully. “People were fighting over who was gonna get what, and the kids were upset, so Frisk showed ‘em how she could make this stuff. Next thing you know—” Quick as scaled lightning, the Captain flicked an energy-toothpick at a bubble overhead, grinning at the resultant chime. “F sharp! Nice.” With a salute to Toriel, Undyne was off again, lifting a couple of random children onto her shoulders.

“How wonderful,” Toriel said again. She sighed, looking fondly up at the balcony. Frisk was starting to puff a bit, but clearly determined to keep going. “What a fine young woman she’s become! It’s almost like having Chara back with us.”

Sans shuffled his slippered feet. He knew it was the highest compliment Toriel could give, but the comparison really rubbed him the wrong way. Not only had he heard a lot of things recently, he couldn’t shake the dream he’d just had—the Prince so eager to have Frisk and Chara back together, and the child trying to be good, but unable to hide her fear and uncertainty…

And speaking of Asriel: “Tell her I’m sorry.” What was that about? Who was—

Suddenly, the dreams clicked together in his mind like puzzle pieces. Asriel had tricked Frisk into meeting with Chara, knowing perfectly well that the poor kid didn’t want to. Was he only sorry for that, or had something else happened afterward, awful enough to make Asriel want to apologize from beyond the friggin’ grave?

Toriel was saying something, and the skeleton shook his head. “Sorry, Tori. What was that?”

She cleared her throat. “I was asking if you’ve met the boy who’s courting her. Frisk said he’s very kind, and wealthy, but…she didn’t seem terribly enthusiastic.”

           Sans almost laughed out loud. So much crap was going on that he’d actually forgotten about that guy! “Had some girl talk, huh?” he asked carelessly, shoving his emotions way, way back down and hoping his eyes weren’t glowing.

           The goat monster chuckled, still watching the field. “We stayed up the other night to discuss where to distribute all the food you were bringing. Afterward, yes, we did talk about her love life.”

           He made an indifferent noise. He was fine. He could do this. “I met the guy once,” he said. “Kinda boring, but I guess he could be worse.”

           Toriel nodded. Her ear twitched as a longer, sweeter trill came from above—Frisk was pulling out all the stops, Sans thought proudly. “Were you there when she spoke to the fortune-teller?” she asked.

The skeleton made himself shrug, as if he wasn’t screaming internally. Stupid girl talk! How much had Frisk told her?

Well, the fact that Toriel hadn’t murdered the shit out of him meant she probably didn’t know everything yet. How she was failing to connect the dots between Frisk and Sans’ human love interest was beyond him, but he’d keep playing along for now. “Yeah, I went with her to that festival,” he said. “Pretty weird stuff. Apparently, she’s on track to have a kid soon.”

           Toriel grimaced. “I certainly hope not. Frisk is much too young for that kind of responsibility.”

           Sans snorted, and Toriel turned to glare at him. “Sorry, but ya haven’t seen her in action,” he said. “The first time I met her, she kept me from killin’ a whole bunch of people, all by herself, an’ she wouldn’t let ‘em kill me back. She got all bloody fixin’ up some kid who came to ‘er for help at two in the morning, she’s payin’ everything for three or four different orphanages that I know of, she keeps tabs on anyone in the whole damn kingdom who might need help, and she’s workin’ on freein’ us, too.” He shook his head. “She’s not a little kid anymore, Tori. She’s got so much crap ta deal with, and she’s been takin’ care of it all on her own. As long as she finds the right guy, it’s…”

           He had to stop before he got any more worked up. Luckily, Toriel was too deep in thought to notice. “That does sound impressive, but you’re right. Her happiness depends on whether she can find a good husband, one she can trust to stand by her and care about her children—”

           Now they were both grim and silent. “Just a few more,” the human called from above them.

She sounded so breathless that Sans shook his head, reaching up to tap on the railing. “Hey, Frisk? Quit it before ya pass out.”

           Toriel listened for a moment, then nodded. Sans watched her stride out to the middle of the field and clap her hands. “Everyone,” she said, “I am glad you’ve enjoyed yourselves, but please return to your homes now. The Royal Guard will be here shortly to deliver your share of the supplies that Frisk arranged for us and Sans brought in last night.” The former Queen nodded benignly in their direction. “Thank you, both of you.”

The giant skeleton was rather embarrassed by the round of applause that followed, though Frisk seemed to take it in stride. Then again, it could be the fact that she was barely conscious. “Time to come in, Pap,” Sans said, jerking his head as the monsters bid each other cheerful farewells and went their separate ways. The children still seemed more excited about the bubbles than the prospect of food—were the poor little bastards just used to being hungry by now?

           There was no need to ask Undyne to take care of Frisk: she had already jumped straight onto the balcony and was assisting the human inside. Sans teleported into the living room, where he immediately got in the way of the Captain half-carrying her down to the couch. “’m fine,” Frisk muttered.

Sans leaned over her, scowling. “Ya need your breath, kid. Don’t use it all up next time.” Now that he was closer, he could also see dark circles under her eyes. “How much sleep didja get last night?” he demanded, and looked at Undyne. “Were you guys at Tori’s house?”

“No,” the goat monster said, shutting the door behind her and coming to sit beside Frisk. “Mettaton kept her up so late that she spent the night at the resort.” Toriel’s hand came up, glowing green, and brushed Frisk’s cheek. “If you had stayed with me, child, I’d have made sure you rested properly.”

The priestess rubbed some feeling back into her lips. “I beg to differ,” she said a moment later. “Remember how afraid I was to fall asleep that second night? Undyne was already mad because I caught her cheating at cards—”

The Captain swelled like a pufferfish. “For the last time, I didn’t frickin’ cheat! My 6 got stuck behind my queen, and I didn’t know it was there when you asked for it!”

“Mmmm-hm.” Frisk let her head fall against Toriel’s shoulder as the goat monster stroked her hair. Sans had to look away, more irritated than ever—how stupid was it to be jealous of someone mothering her? Especially considering what she’d had for an actual mom…

“Anyway,” said Undyne. She glanced at Sans, saw his expression, and whacked him again to get his attention. “You know what your damn human did to me?” Frisk smirked as Undyne pantomimed writing huge letters across her own face. “GO FISH. Is that the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, or what?”

Sans snickered. “What? She was probably just being supportive. You know, ‘go—”

Frisk and Toriel dissolved into laughter as the Captain smacked her forehead with one webbed hand. “Argh! That’s the same dumb thing she said!”

“It’s all right,” the human said, in what Sans gleefully recognized as her pre-pun voice. “I guess our humor is just that sofishticated.”

“NOOOOO,” moaned Papyrus, who had just come inside. “NOT YOU, TOO, NYEHH!”

“What’s wrong?” asked Sans, winking at Toriel as she covered her face with one hand. “Are you mad enough to krill someone?”

“SO HELP ME, YOU TWO, I WILL LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND NEVER—”

“But it’s so nice to sea you,” Frisk said, and Sans snorted so hard that he had to sit down before he fell over. Toriel was giggling uncontrollably, clutching her sides; Undyne just shook her head and retreated into the storage room behind the kitchen cabinet.

Papyrus looked mollified. “YES, I KNOW. BUT I—” He stopped, and they nearly died as they watched it hit him. “GRAAAAH! IF HER MAJESTY WAS NOT HERE, I’D—”

“It’s all right, Papyrus,” Toriel said behind her hand. “I know I can trust you to control your temper.” Papyrus nodded, and the goat monster added, “You’ve always been a pacifisht!”

Undyne poked her head into the kitchen, raising her voice over the din: “Pap! Get away from those nerds and come help me! We need to make room for your stuff when it gets here.”

The younger skeleton sighed dramatically, even for him. “NYEH-HEH! I SUPPOSE I MAY AS WELL. AT LEAST SOMEONE AROUND HERE WILL BE DOING SOMETHING USEFUL!”

“Thank you. You’re the least shellfish person we know,” squeaked Frisk, at which Papyrus made an incoherent sound and stormed off into the kitchen.

Sans was pounding the floor, the women nearly sobbing. “Children—children, please,” Toriel said weakly, wiping her eyes. “Really, it’s time to calm down now.” A long pause… “We can’t keep kraken up like this!”

“Oh my God, they’re gonna kill themselves,” Undyne grumbled from the storage room. They had closed the cabinet door, but it wasn’t soundproof enough. “Let’s move some of this stuff to the shed, and…hey, what’s this?” She picked up a heavy package lying in the back corner. “Huh. Looks like one of Frisk’s. Pap, go ask—”

“SANS! POSSIBLY FRISK!” Papyrus charged into the living room, hoisting the box over his head and nearly tripping over his brother. “IS THIS A FORGOTTEN PUZZLE?! MAY I OPEN IT TO KEEP IT COMPANY?”

“Oh!” Frisk gave a last snrk and accepted a clean handkerchief from Toriel to wipe her face. “Actually, Papyrus, that one is for Sans.”

“Wha?” The giant skeleton sat up and quirked a brow at her. “What’re you talkin’ about? I was with ya when we bought all this crap, and I don’t remember you gettin’ me anything.”

“That’s because you weren’t paying attention,” the priestess retorted.

…She had a point. There had been quite a few times when they were in a shop and he was so bored that she could’ve been plotting the death of all monsterkind without him noticing.

“SURPRISE PUZZLES ARE THE BEST KIND! OPEN IT ALREADY!” urged Papyrus, shoving the gift at his brother’s face.

“Yeah, boss,” Undyne said from the kitchen. “Don’t be so damn shy.”

“I’m not bein’ shy! I just…I wasn’t expectin’ it.” Scowling, Sans grabbed the package and dug his phalanges into the lid. One good rip would get this over w—

“Sans!” Frisk’s voice made him hunch his shoulders like a guilty kid. “If you tear it open like that and break something, I will end you! Do you understand?”

The others watched the colossal skeleton set the package down gently, unwrapping the paper and moving it aside as though it was made of glass. Toriel and Undyne exchanged disbelieving glances as Sans located the box’s tucked-in corners, eased them loose, and picked at the ribbons tying it shut.

But a moment later, as he removed the last layers of tissue paper, their amusement faded into gasps and murmurs. Inside the box lay a chessboard gleaming in white marble and flawless onyx, each of the pieces individually wrapped and set in neat rows.

Undyne chose one at random and peeled the paper away to reveal a knight astride a black pegasus, wings spread and hooves ready to strike. “Whoa!” She picked another, this one a rook carved in the shape of a ruined tower, complete with crumbling bricks and a few tiny bird’s nests in the windows. “Where’d you find this?! Are you gonna teach him how to play?”

“We did most nights back at the castle.” Frisk shrugged. “He beat me every time.”

“Incredible,” murmured Toriel. She took the knight and held it up to examine the sculpting of its plumelike tail. “Humans have such an amazing capacity for beauty. I never could understand…” The goat monster sighed, handing the piece back. “What do you think, Sans?”

Sans couldn’t answer. He’d calmed down a lot after all the fish puns, and he would have been fine just hanging out with everyone until the Royal Guard came by. He hadn’t known Frisk was going to give him anything, much less something beautiful and thoughtful and completely perfect—like her, dammit. How was he supposed to stop feeling all these feelings when she kept doing things?

The pause became more and more uncomfortable as he glowered at the chessboard, heat building around his SOUL until he wanted more than ever to just rip his clothes off right there. “PSST! BROTHER!” Papyrus nudged him. “YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY, ‘THANK YOU FOR THE MAGNIFICENT PUZZLE, NYEH-HEH! I SHOULD ASK THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO PLAY IT WITH ME, AND WEEP GENTLY WHEN I LOSE!’”

Sans fidgeted, and Frisk looked expectant. “This’s…ya know, ya didn’t hafta waste a bunch more money on somethin’ we—” His head snapped up, startling everyone. “Hey, there’s the Royal Guard! They probably need help, right? Let’s go help!”

“SANS,” Papyrus began, and huffed as his brother disappeared. “THAT’S NOT WHAT I TOLD HIM TO SAY AT ALL! HOW DID HE GET IT SO VERY WRONG?”

 ~

             Sans was not surprised by the others’ reactions when they joined him a few minutes later at the cart by the town Christmas tree. He could only imagine what they’d been saying, though the glare Undyne was giving him made her opinion pretty clear.

           “Good day,” Toriel said to the cat monster holding the supply list, ignoring Sans entirely. The cart had just come through Waterfall, the sacks and crates patterned with condensation that was already freezing into ice crystals. “I have a very selfish request,” the former Queen continued. “As you know, I was awake for the entire night, and I am extremely weary. I would like to bring my share home with me now, unless of course you need me to—”

           “You were up the whole night, Lady Toriel?” Frisk repeated, one hand on the side of the cart. She frowned, then rounded on Sans so fast that he flinched. “You want to be helpful, don’t you? Then you can take her and her things back to the Ruins!” An imperious gesture at the three guards. “The list, please,” she ordered in her High Priestess voice.

The cat-lady handed it over, bemused. The tiny human ran her finger down the page, nodded, and turned to the cart. “It should all in that crate, there, and that stack of—look where I’m pointing! Yes, that one, and those over there. No, don’t put it—”

           Sans obeyed her as fast as he could, setting the boxes neatly beside Toriel. Frisk checked them over again, then handed the list back to the feline guard. “That should be correct, but if you find any discrepancies, let me know. Has everything gone according to plan so far? No thefts or serious disputes?”

           “No, milady,” the guard replied. “We should be finished by this evening at the latest.”

Frisk smiled. “Excellent work. Please keep it up.”

The Royal Guard all saluted. Toriel’s eyebrows were raised, and Sans wished she’d look at him so he could mouth Told you so. “Good job, guys,” said Undyne, not bothering to hide her grin. “It looks like you’ve got this under control, so Frisk and I are gonna go see Alphys now. You coming, Pap?”

           “HMM.” He glanced from her to his brother and crossed his arms, clearly torn. “SHOULDN’T I STAY AND HELP PUT OUR FOOD AWAY?”

           “Oh, but Sans wants to help so much, we shouldn’t take that from him.” Undyne looked daggers – spears? – at the giant skeleton. “He can come right back here and do it after he drops off Her Majesty. Right?”

           Dammit. “Right,” grunted Sans.

           Frisk was already starting to turn away. He cast around for an excuse to talk to her again, and said, “Hey.” She glanced at him as he rummaged in his inner pockets. “Ya want those invoices back?”

           The priestess frowned at him. He hated it when she did that, especially when he deserved it. “I suppose it could be useful when I talk to His Majesty.” She started to extend a hand, and her eyes widened. “That’s right,” she said to the guards. “Did you give him my note?”

           “Yes.” The dragon guard cleared his throat. “He said no.”

           “What R02 meant to say,” the cat monster, “is that King Asgore regrets he will not be available to speak with anyone today.”

           “But he does want to talk to Sans,” the rabbit said helpfully, “and Dr. Alphys.”

           “I see,” Frisk murmured. “Thank you.” As Undyne glared at R01, the human stepped back, pulling her cloak around her. “You’d better keep them to show His Majesty, then.”

           Sans shrugged, rolled the papers back up, and opened his coat wider to find exactly where they’d been. All he could think about was reaching over to tug down her choker where it was riding too high on her throat; he forgot what else was in his pockets till he noticed her staring at something inside his coat. His SOUL tingled in alarm: the King’s golden envelope was sticking up partway, with the letters FRISK D showing. “Sans? What is that?”

           “…Uh.” Fuck. It was too late to disappear again. He glanced around at everyone listening, and at Frisk, who was already unhappy because of him. Was this really the time to tell her what her father was planning, and that the humans all knew her name now? “It’s…I-I’ll show ya later, I promise. There’s a bunch of stuff we’ve gotta talk about.”

Her frown deepened. “Agreed.” Just like that, Frisk turned to smile at Papyrus. “Shall we?”

“CERTAINLY!” He gallantly held his arm out to her, neither of them noticing how Sans’ socket twitched.

Before the bigger skeleton could say something stupid, a touch on his radius made him spin around. “If you could take me home now, I would greatly appreciate it,” Toriel said quietly.

“Sure.” He gave Frisk one last glance. “Have fun, guys.”

Undyne made another face at him, and Papyrus waved. “GOODBYE, SANS! HAVE FUN! PLEASE BE USEFUL TO HER MAJESTY AND NOT RUN OFF AGAIN BECAUSE YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY INCOMPETENT!”

Sans twitched again, and Frisk smirked. “Have a good rest, Lady Toriel,” she said over her shoulder.

“Enjoy yourselves,” Toriel replied cheerfully. But the moment the trio was out of sight, the goat monster’s smile vanished. “Back to the Ruins, please,” she said coolly.

Sans had a headache already. “Yes’m,” he mumbled. At least all this inner turmoil meant he was generating plenty of magic: she laid a hand on his arm, he made a swiping gesture at the crates, and they were all standing in the entryway of Toriel’s house, easy as butterscotch-cinnamon pie.

“I wish I could do that,” the goat monster commented, not for the first time. “Can you bring those to the kitchen for me?” She strode ahead, briskly opening cabinets and moving things aside to make room. “Also, please tell me what the matter is.”

Sans grunted, twitching a finger to waft the crates over. “Do me a favor, Tori, and gimme a check. You can probably see it for yerself.”

Toriel obligingly turned and squinted at his SOUL. “Good heavens,” she said after a moment, and looked up at him. “Sans, what in the world…?”

           If it looked half as turbulent as it felt, then it was probably pretty scary. “I wasn’t kiddin’ the other night,” he muttered.

“I…didn’t think you were. Still…” She rubbed her eyes, swaying a little with sheer tiredness. “I did want to ask you something. I heard you telling the guards last night that you inspected the carts alongside someone you trusted. By any chance, was that…?”

Well, there was a convenient misunderstanding if he’d ever heard one. “Was that what? Someone I’m totally nuts about an’ hafta stay away from because she’s a human, and just friggin’ deal with it?” He rapped on his chest. “Does it look like I’m dealin’ with it?”

           “No, you are not.” Toriel crossed her arms at the waist. “Sans. I know this must be difficult for you, but—”

“Let’s play pretend for a minute,” he said conversationally. “Imagine I came up to you sometime real soon with a human an’ said, ‘Here ya go, meet the wife.’” Just saying the word made his SOUL ache further. “What would you do?”

           Her eyes narrowed to golden slits. “It would depend,” Toriel said with deceptive calmness, “whether you would prefer I be kind, or truthful. Do you want my blessing to try and find happiness for a few short years, and to be even more alone in the world once she d—”

           That did it. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Tori! Ya think I don’t know how screwed I am?” Sans snarled, and her mouth fell open. “I didn’t tell you about this so you could give me a kick in the goddamn teeth! I told ya ‘cause I wanted to talk with somebody who might have some idea what I’m goin’ through! If that’s too much to ask, just fuckin’ forget about it!”

           “I am sorry, Sans! I truly am!” There was a puff of smoke as Toriel threw her hands up. “If you could marry a human, I would be the first to congratulate you! But as things are…” Her face contorted. “What does my opinion even matter? You know that I have no power here, no matter how many people keep calling me ‘Majesty’! I can do nothing to help you!”

           “You could still be my goddamn friend! That’s all I wanted!” He kicked at nothing. “But no, yer so worried about botherin’ little ol’ Gorey that—”

           Whump.

           Sans stared at the scorch mark at his feet, a smoking, blackened ring on the tiles. Then he looked at Toriel, whose hand was still aimed at the floor, her chest heaving as though she’d run the entire length of the Underground. “Do not. Talk to me. About. Asgore,” she said through gritted fangs. “That wretched man has already cost me my entire family! Do you think I enjoy catering to his paranoia and living in fear that someone else I care for will be banished, or die? What do you think he would do if you were to wed a human? What would happen to you, and to her? If Asgore decided you were truly a threat—”

He could feel his eyes burning, and didn’t trust himself to say anything. Toriel gulped. “It is not safe for you to marry a human, Sans. It is not safe for any human down here! You’ve seen it for yourself! Frisk is the only one he will even tolerate, and he could still…” Another shake of her head, ears flapping against her cheeks. “You know Asgore. All he has to do is ignore her until she leaves. It would be so easy, wouldn’t it?” The goat-woman buried her face in her hands. “Those damned men would just shrug and say that she failed in her mission, and I would never see her again! I can’t lose anyone else, Sans! I can’t—”

           The skeleton’s anger subsided as he watched the former Queen’s shoulders rise and fall. He took a couple of steps toward her, sliding his hands into his pockets. “What happened with Chara?” he asked quietly. “Why wouldn’t he let her come back?”

           Toriel’s fingers curled, claws digging into her muzzle. “It wasn’t her fault,” she muttered, eyes hard and dry. “He said he didn’t blame her, but he still agreed to send her away. And when that bastard human would not marry her as he promised, Chara needed us—she needed her family! But Asgore said she was lying, and he sent her away again! I didn’t see my little girl for ten years, Sans! And then—”

           Sans stayed silent. Toriel let her arms fall, and slid down against the cabinet until she was slumped on the kitchen floor. “I got her back, and it was too late. She hated us both,” she said dully. “She died hating me, Sans. And she was right. I couldn’t protect her from Asgore, and when the accident happened, I could not protect her or Asriel. I was right there, and I could do nothing! All I did was send the humans away, and he even begrudged me that!” The goat monster gripped her robe, nearly puncturing the fabric. “Now my only friend comes to me for a sympathetic ear, and what do I do? I sneer at him for confiding in me and complain about my troubles!” She scrubbed her eyes with her sleeve. “I’m completely useless, as always.”

           “Don’t say that, Tori! Remember that one little thing where ya kept the humans from declarin’ war on us an’ sealing the whole damn Underground? Besides…” Sans shuddered as something else came to him. “For all we know, he woulda had Kris killed, too.” He crouched to her eye level. “You saved Frisk’s life, Tori. Are you sayin’ that wasn’t worth somethin’?”

She swallowed again. “I…I don’t—”

“An’ she grew up to be High Priestess, and she saved my life when I got caught. If it wasn’t for you, she’d be dead, and I’d be dead or worse.” He shook his head. “If she was dead, we wouldn’t be gettin’ any food deliveries, or monsters comin’ home, or random bubble parties—” Despite himself, he chuckled. “Or fish puns—”

           Toriel managed a smile. “That was fun, wasn’t it? Poor Papyrus.” She gave a long, deep sigh. “I may have saved her life, but as far as I am concerned, you are the reason she has come back to us. Thank you, Sans.” The goat monster got to her feet and wiped her eyes again on her sleeve. “I…I still don’t know what to tell you about your human. I haven’t even asked you her name, what she is like, how far your relationship has progressed—may I assume you intend to keep courting her?”

           “Uh…” Sans ducked his head, scuffing his slipper over the burned floor tiles. “Tell you the truth, she’s kinda the one courtin’ me.”

           “Sans!” the goat monster scolded him. “You’ve found a woman with enough magic, strength of mind, and good taste to fall in love with you, and you’re letting her do all the work?”

           The skeleton scratched his neck vertebrae. “…Yeah?”

           Toriel gave him one of her squinty, pursed-mouth glares, and he held up his hands. “I know, I know! It’s just…there’s all this stuff, but it’s her, an’ I never met a her before, an’ I—”

“All right, all right.” Toriel sighed again. “I still wish you would change your mind, but I understand that it’s not so simple.” She couldn’t conceal a yawn. “We can talk more when I’ve had some rest. I promise.” To his surprise, she took his hand and gave it a good squeeze. “In the meantime, go and help the Royal Guards, and then apologize to Frisk. That was the most lovely gift imaginable, and you behaved as though she’d handed you a steaming pile of—”

           “Yeah, yeah.” Sans lifted one shoulder. “Okay, Ma, I promise I’ll be good. Go get some sleep.”

           “Yes, dear. And, Sans—” She gave him a look he couldn’t interpret. “I hate to be intrusive, but…if everyone is gathered again this evening, could I please join you? If it’s all right with the others?”

           Sans made a rude noise. “Of course I’ll come ‘n get you. We’re almost halfway through her offishal visit.”

           Toriel laughed. “Well, water you still doing here? Go on!”

He chucked, raising a hand. “‘Kay. See ya, Toriel.”

           “Thank you, Sans.” She swatted at him playfully, letting him dodge out of the way. “Now, shoo!”

[caretaker-au]

Subterfuge

Interlude: Kindness

Spring 2031

—

Today should have been a wonderful day. After all, it was a day that Chara had been dreaming about for the past 3 years, loading and reloading, hoping fate would deliver to them another human soul. And today, it had. Lounging comfortably beneath the gnarled black tree in the ruins, the human was practically waiting at their doorstep. They were female and older than the previous children, somewhere in their early teens. Some sort of fabric was wrapped around their leg where blood was seeping through, but otherwise they seemed unharmed, an unfaltering smile gleaming beneath their green eyes and long lashes.

But of course, Chara could not be so lucky.

Spoiling the sight was the human’s monster companion. Probably still in grade school, Chara recognized the monster as being the son of the Whimsun family. Undoubtedly responsible for the human’s survival, the fairy monster seemed to realize his guilt and hid behind the shoulder of the human.

The teenager hadn’t seemed to notice the monster’s discomfort, instead acknowledging the caretaker’s arrival with a cheery, "Hello! You must be Chara!"

Chara bristled at the familiarity. "You. What is your name."

"Oh!" the child chimed, "My name is—"

“Not you.” Chara interjected, pointing past the human, “Him.”

The winged monster poked his head into view, eyes downcast. “Wh--Whimsy. I’m sorry, Chara, I know I’m not supposed to be here... please don’t tell mom and dad.”

“We will see about that. Come here.”

Whimsy fluttered towards Chara, casting an apologetic look back. Arching an eyebrow, the human leaned forward as if to stand, to which Chara barked, “No. Stay.” They winced a little at the order but complied. Chara turned their attention to the monster and spoke in a hushed voice, while keeping an eye on the human behind him.

“When did you come here, Whimsy?” Chara asked.

“Lunch time… around noon.”

Chara checked their watch with a frown. It was already past 2:00 pm, and they had created a save point only an hour ago, not early enough to stop Whimsy from trespassing. 

“And the human. When did it arrive?”

“I don't know. I found them under the big hole in the ruins, calling for help.”

The timing couldn’t be worse. No matter how many times they reloaded, Chara was stuck in this uncomfortable confrontation between the three of them. Unfortunate save times happened occasionally, but rarely were they this bad.

Fidgeting in the silence, Whimsy continued, “They’re hurt, Chara..”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s hurt,” Chara said, lowering their voice further, “You know what happened to Asriel.”

Whimsy’s eyes widened, “What happened to Asriel?”

Lovely. This monster was too young to have witnessed Asriel’s injury or to be told the gory details. Chara sighed, exasperated. Later they would have to make an appeal to the education department to include such information in schools. Speaking of, the young human was watching them, brow furrowed as they tried to listen in.

Chara pulled a key out of their pocket, locking the front door of the house they had passed through to come here. “Walk with me, Whimsy,” they said, gesturing for him to follow. Whimsy nodded as Chara walked toward the human beneath the tree, then right past them. “Remain there. I will be back for you.”

“Goodbye, Whimsy!” the human called out, “I’ll see you soon?”

“Good… goodbye…” Whimsy responded. If he was going to add anything else, he didn’t get the chance. Chara reached out their hand to lead Whimsy toward the southern exit. Together, they walked down the hall on their left, where another open doorway led to the city of Home.

While the Ruins had been left to crumble, Home was still bustling with life. In this room, they could overlook the glowing city scape under the vast cave ceiling. Unfortunately, the glittering view was obscured by a heavy metal gate that wrapped around them like a cage. Chara knew that small monsters like Whimsy would be able to fit through the bars, but they didn’t think anyone was brave or stupid enough to enter the Ruins without permission. Not only was it against the law, but the gate was erected to protect Home from humans. Entry through the gate was only permitted with Chara serving as a scout and escort.

Now out of earshot of the human, Chara scolded Whimsy for entering the Ruins, explaining in morbid detail what happened to Asriel. Unsympathetic to Whimsy’s look of horror, they went on to threaten reporting him to the authorities and his parents for breaking the law. As Chara hoped, Whimsy collapsed like a house of cards, apologizing and begging Chara not to tell. Chara made the young monster a deal, promising not to report if him if he swore not to tell anyone about going to the Ruins or seeing the human. Using one of their keys, Chara opened the gate for Whimsy, who solemnly passed through.

“Wait…” Whimsy said, eyes pleading, “Don’t be mad at them, okay? I know humans are dangerous, but this one is really nice…”

Chara opened their mouth to argue, but stopped, changing tactics instead, “I will bear this in mind. If it-- if they are as harmless as you say, I will let them go.”

“Really?” 

Chara smiled, “If I deem them worthy, then of course.”

Whimsy sighed in relief, but his assurance was short lived as Chara reiterated that if anyone found out about their trespassing, there would be severe consequences. Whimsy headed home, and Chara locked the gate, waiting until the small monster was out of sight before letting out a sigh.

Finally. Back to business.

Chara startled upon returning to the black tree in the yard. The human had raised themself to their full height, and they were tall. Freakishly tall. From a distance, Chara would have mistaken the child for an adult if their face and gangly limbs hadn’t given them away. Wrapped around their waist was an apron, dirty with food and mud, and the child fidgeted with a heavy cast iron skillet. Did they always have that? More importantly, why did they have such a thing?

Chara took a moment to smooth out their robe. They considered setting a save point, but decided against it, in case they would need to reattempt the talk with Whimsy. Chara approached the child with their best smile, but judging by the skeptical look the child gave in return, it must not have been convincing.

"Hello child," Chara said, "I would introduce myself, but it seems you already know who I am. Nevertheless, my name is Chara, the caretaker of these ruins. It is unfortunate that I was not the first to greet you."

The child shifted their weight, eyes glancing to the doorway behind Chara, "Where is Whimsy?"

"Home."

"The town called Home, or his own home?"

Chara's smile faltered. Just how much had Whimsy told her?

"Both." they answered, their tone short, "And it is time for you to go as well."

The child's eyes widened, "You can take me home? But Whimsy said--!"

"Whimsy does not know what I know." Chara turned on their heel, facing back to the ruins, "Follow."

The teenager hesitated for a moment before choosing to obey, catching up to Chara in a few paces. Their stature put them a few inches taller than Chara. Troublesome.

There were several rooms between them and their destination.  Chara would have been content to walk in silence, but their curiosity got the better of them. They spoke without turning around. "Tell me. Why do you have that."

"Have what?"

Isn't it obvious? Chara glared over their shoulder, eyes fixed on the pan the kid was swinging as they walked. "In your hand. Is it a weapon?"

"A weapon?" the teenager repeated incredulously, "No, no, this is for cooking, obviously! Though I probably look pretty strange carrying a pan around, huh?"

Chara doesn't answer, setting their eyes back on the path. Out with it already.

"You see, I was camping with my friend and we wanted to try cooking over an open fire. We'd never done that before so once the fire was going we were trying a bit of everything: potatoes, chorizo, even pancakes! Most of the stuff got burned pretty bad, but we managed to eat a few treats before… before…"

Chara heard the human’s steps slow to a stop. They looked back, and the young camper was hugging the pan to their chest, eyes downcast. For the first time since they arrived, the child looked small.

Chara resumed walking. "Keep up."

The child did as ordered, following without a word until they reached a wide room covered with cracked floor tiles. The floor was still intact, evidence that Whimsy did well guiding the child through it. Considering the circumstances, it was probably for the best. After all, Whimsy was not strong enough to witness the death of a human. Few monsters could.

Chara faced the child once more and pretended not to notice that the human’s eyes were red and puffy. "You already know how this puzzle works. Follow carefully."

The teenager nodded, stepping into each of Chara's footprints as they lead the way, "Hey, Chara..." 

The child didn’t notice Chara wincing at the unwanted familiarity, "You sort of remind me of my friend. You're both so serious and quiet, and to be honest, you two have this weird sort of resemblance. Like, of course you don't look the same or anything, but you feel familiar because of it, you know?"

"I don't."

"Oh… okay, well…" the child exited the puzzle of broken tiles after Chara, tilting their head to the side to look at the caretaker’s face, "Either way, it's… it's nice,” they smiled again, nervously looking away, “I keep telling myself, if you are anything like my… my partner, then I know that even if you don’t look it, you’re actually a really good person deep down."

Chara was a bit taken aback by the sudden compliment. For the first time since their meeting, they returned them a sincere smile, "That's kind of you to say. I think I am as well."

The teenager relaxed, relieved to get a positive response from Chara, "I'm sure you are! Should we keep going? My friend needs me, and I've spent too long here already."

"Of course," Chara hummed, "But first, take a look back and say your goodbyes. After all, this will be the last time you see the Underground."

The child gave Chara a quick quizzical look, before turning to face the puzzle, "Yeah, I guess you're right," mindful of the cracked floor, they stepped to the right to better see through the doorway on the other side of the room, "I was so focused on leaving I didn't really appreciate it here. You know, I wish I could have stayed a little longer. Maybe do something nice for Whimsy."

"That can be arranged." 

The human’s head began to turn—perhaps to ask Chara what they meant—but before they could open their mouth, Chara pushed them forward by their shoulders. The child sprawled across the cracked floor which shattered like thin ice, revealing the ten foot drop underneath. A shriek escaped the teenager's lips before momentum and gravity dragged them into the field of spikes poised below.

Chara would never get used to the sound.

Not wanting to get pulled in with their victim, Chara had backed away from the edge, safe against the wall behind them. They watched the dust curl around the broken chasm in lazy spirals, and noted that while their heart rate was elevated, they felt strangely calm. Like killing a rat that had been tearing apart the pantry, completing the grisly act was a welcome relief.

Combing their hair back with their fingers, Chara took a few slow measured breaths, basking in their victory.

Four souls. No—five, including themself. Salvation was nearly within reach.

interlude: kindness // end

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[undertale-rho]

Underearth: Book 5 - Chapter 12

"Oh my..." Toriel said.

The morning sun peaked carefully from over the horizon, its radiant light piercing the blinking eyes of Frisk and the Monsters.

"Isn't it beautiful, everyone?" Asgore asked.

They all gazed out at the sun.

"Incredible..." Chara whispered.

"Wow... it's e-even better than on TV." Alphys said, her mouth agape. "Way better! Better than I ever imagined!"

"Frisk, you live with this!?" Undyne asked, just as awe-struck as the rest. "The sunlight is so nice... and the air so fresh!" Undyne took a deep breath and sighed. "I really feel alive!"

"HEY SANS... WHAT'S THAT GIANT BALL?" Papyrus asked.

"We call that 'the sun', my friend." Sans replied.

"THAT'S THE SUN!? WOWIE!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY MEETING THE SUN!!!"

"I could stand here and watch this for hours..." Asgore said.

"Yes, it is beautiful, is it not?" Toriel replied. "But we should really think about what comes next."

"That can wait, Toriel." Frisk said. "Most everyone here has never even seen the sun. We don't have to be too hasty with what is to come."

Toriel looked down at him, pondering what he said.

"You are right, Frisk." she said.

"Come on, let's take a seat and watch the sun brighten up this brand-new day."

The Monsters, taking Frisk's advice, sat down in a nice flat clearing not too far from the cave's maw. While the other Monsters chatted away with one-another, Frisk stalled behind.

"You really did it." Chara said.

"Seems that way, doesn't it..." Frisk said. "I just wish I could stay."

"Why don't you?"

Frisk didn't answer.

"Frisk, what is it?"

"Do you know why I ended up in the Underground?" Frisk asked.

"Only what you told Asriel, that you didn't go voluntarily."

"My brother kicked me into that pit. He tried to kill me. Because of that, my first trip through the Underground was mostly dominated by my desire for revenge. To leave the Underground and kill him back." Frisk then looked at Chara. "Well, I did it. Sank your dagger straight into his eye. But when I went through the Underground, I killed others who'd gotten in my way. Sans opened my eyes to that. That's when I discovered the power to RESET what I'd done through the pocketwatch.

"When I returned to the Underground, I went through and got everything just like this. The barrier was destroyed, and everybody was happy. Fast forward a couple weeks, and there I find my brother, alive and causing great pain in a Monster, kidnapping her like he'd done to so many Humans before. Storming after him, I sought to rescue that Monster, like how I'd rescued all the Monsters from the Underground. That was a mistake. Instead, I was killed, and..." Frisk shuttered. "That was when I decided to start my slaughter. My reign of eidocide."

"To throw everything you had away due to a desire for something more..." Chara said.

"Yeah..."

"But you have what you wanted. What you desired. Not only that, you got back what you threw away, and more. You have the power you wanted, and you have your friends back. So why can't you stay?"

"Because if I wanted to leave Athens in the first place, I'd have done it long ago."

Chara looked stunned. "Why... why do you want to stay in that city."

"Because my sister is still somewhere in there." Frisk said. "We were separated years ago, after William dumped us on the street. Despite my vast knowledge of wilderness survival that could have led to a far better existence in the forests surrounding the city, I knew I couldn't leave Aliza to rot in that place. For five years, I've worked nearly every day to find her. Slowly searching every last labyrinthine alley until I found her. Despite it still being a work in progress, it's a job I have to do."

Their conversation went silent.

"When I met Artemis..." Frisk continued, "I saw myself. Fighting each day to survive, to protect her sister. She lacked the wilderness survival skills that I had mastered, however. I knew that, one day, within that pisshole of fake civilization, everything would collapse, and Amelia would die. This fear is what drove me to teach my skills to Artemis, to push her out into the wilderness and thrive. To do what I wanted to do but couldn't. With what happened to me, she'll be leaving for the wilderness any day now. When she's gone, I can finally set my focus back on finding Aliza and joining Artemis in the wilderness."

"Frisk!" Chara said.

Frisk looked over at her.

"You had somebody there that reminded you of yourself, why didn't you ask for her help?"

"Because I lost Aliza. That burden was mine, and I wouldn't impose it on anybody else."

"Are you serious!? You just saw what happens when a single person carries a burden that is far too heavy for them. Look what happened to dad."

Frisk looked at Asgore.

"Your friends are there to help you. And Monsters? They're the greatest help you could ever ask for."

Frisk remained silent, pondering on what Chara had said.

"Frisk, please. Take it from somebody who... who threw everything away for her desire, and never gained it, instead losing more than she even had."

Frisk looked back at her. After a few seconds, he sighed.

"Alright." he said. "But on my terms."

Frisk approached the Monsters.

"Ah, young Frisk." Asgore said as he approached. "I have something to ask of you. Will you act as our ambassador to the Humans?"

"I'll do it on one condition." Frisk said.

"What condition?"

"An open request that you'll fulfill."

"I, err... hmm. Alright. Though I should tell you that I can't do everything, so I'll only be able to fulfill your request if it is within my power."

"I understand."

"Then it is decided."

"YEAH! FRISK WILL BE THE BEST AMBASSADOR!" Papyrus said. "AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS... WILL BE THE BEST MASCOT! I'LL GO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION!"

With that said, Papyrus ran off down the mountain.

"Welp." Sans said. "Someone's gotta keep him from getting into trouble. See you guys."

Sans then walked back into the Underground.

"Man, do I have to do everything? Papyrus, wait!!!" Undyne shouted, running after Papyrus.

"Hey, Undyne!! Wait up!!" Alphys said as she ran after Undyne.

Asgore, Toriel, and Frisk then stood alone. Now mostly alone, Toriel gave Asgore her look of hatred.

"Well, gotta go!" Asgore said before heading down the mountain as well.

"It seems that everyone is quite eager to set off." Toriel said. She then turned to face Frisk. "Frisk... You came from this world, right...? So you must have a place to return to, do you not? What will you do now?"

"I'm sure you'd want me to stay with you, would that be right?" Frisk asked.

"What?" Toriel said, sounding shocked. "Frisk... you really are a funny child."

"I'm serious."

Toriel sighed. "Y... yes, that is what I hope, but..."

"I'll do it." Frisk said.

"What?"

"But on one condition."

A puzzled look came over Toriel's face. "You are certainly keen on your conditions. What is it?"

"You stop being such a piece of crap to Asgore. Actually give him a chance. At the very least, actually treat him nicely."

Toriel tightened her fists slightly, then released them.

"Well... I suppose. If that is what you require of me, then... I will do my best."

A grin emerged across Frisk's face. "Glad to hear it." Looking back out at the sunrise, the sun was now hovering over the horizon, a great spiked mountain and a towering city standing on either side of it. "Go on ahead, I'll catch up. I just... I need a minute."

"I understand." Toriel walked down the path a bit. "Don't make us wait too long."

"I won't."

Toriel walked down the path, out of sight.

"There you go." Frisk said. "What now?"

"Now? Hmm, perhaps Calibri could help you search. He does seem to be good at finding hidden things."

Frisk chuckled. "Yeah, lucky that." Frisk walked down the path as well, the sun of a new era lighting his way.

Emergence : Future

Previous First posting First of this book Next

[krat395]

A Long Time Coming (Chapter 4)

Chapter 4 of this long story. In the first three chapters, Asriel, Chara, and Toriel had a fun morning filled with laughter. In this continuation, they have finished all of their chores and are winding down for the night. Little does Toriel know, Asriel has cooked up something special for her… and someone else might just join in on the fun. Undertale© Toby Fox. 

**********************************************

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

**********************************************

A LONG TIME COMING

Chapter 4: Returning the Favor

It is now late evening and Asriel, Chara, and Toriel are relaxing after a productive day of chores. Chara is currently playing a video game, Asriel is resting in his bed, and Toriel is reading a book about snails while resting in her reclining chair in the living room downstairs. Asriel wanted to give his mother enough time to wind down before going downstairs to spend some time with her, so he decided to rest a little while longer while Chara was in her room concentrating on her game.

After about twenty-five minutes, Asriel finally decided to go downstairs and spend time with his mother and do something that the two of them cherish deeply, their special mother-son tickle bonding. Asriel is feeling extra playful tonight since he has something very special planned for his mother. *whispering* She just doesn’t know it yet.

Asriel: Hey Mom, you busy?

Toriel: Not at all my child. What’s on your mind?

Asriel: *crawls on her lap, nuzzles her, and then lies down in her lap*

Toriel: *blushing* Awww how cute. But seriously Asriel, you want me tickle you now? Even though Chara’s in the house?

Asriel: *lies to Toriel* Chara’s concentrating too much on that game again. She put on her noise-cancelling headphones.

Toriel: Oh. Well in that case, good call my child.

Asriel: Thanks Mom. But let me just say that if Chara does happen to find out about this, I’m perfectly ok with it. I don’t think there should be any shame in wanting to feel like a little kid again.

Toriel: *places her hands on her cheeks with delight* Oh Asriel. It makes me so proud to hear you say that. *nuzzles him*

For the past month, Toriel and Asriel have been keeping their mother-son tickle bonding a secret since Asriel thought he would be embarrassed if Frisk and Chara knew that she was tickling him like a little kid. What Toriel doesn’t know is that Asriel already told Chara about what they’ve been doing. Asriel is gaining more and more confidence these days and is learning that there’s no shame in wanting to feel like a little kid every now and then. It reminds both him and his mother of simpler times.

Toriel was very happy that Asriel wanted her to tickle him again. It lightened up her night even more and she just loves it every time he nuzzles her and acts all cute and cuddly in her lap. Before she started tickling him, she decided to caress his head for a little while.

Toriel: *caresses Asriel’s head* You are just so cute Asriel. And you seem even happier than usual as well. Why is that?

Asriel: I’m just in a really great mood. I get to spend time with the best Mom ever!

Toriel: Oh Asriel, you always know how to make me smile.

Asriel: I sure do!

Toriel: And now I’m going to make you smile. Well… even more that it is. Hee hee hee.

Asriel knew what his mother was implying and it made him smile and laugh just thinking about it.

Toriel: Time for tickles! *begins tickling Asriel*

Asriel: HAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAA!!

Toriel started out tickling Asriel’s underarms like she normally does and Asriel just lied in her lap, with his legs hanging over the left arm of the chair, drowning in constant adorable laughter. Toriel: I will never get tired of this Asriel! You still have the cutest laughter ever!

Asriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!

In order to prevent his mother from becoming suspicious, Asriel let her tickle him for a little while before initiating his plan. After one minute, Toriel moved her hands to Asriel’s ribs.

Asriel: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Toriel: So cute! So cute!

Toriel was kneading her index fingers into Asriel’s ribs as much as she possibly could. She just loves how her two index fingers are enough to make her son burst into laughter and she continued doing this for a minute until she lifted his shirt and tickled his fluffy tummy, her favorite place to tickle him.

Toriel: Time to get that tummy! *tickles Asriel’s tummy*  

Asriel: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!!! I LAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAVE YOU SOHOHHOHOHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

As usual, Asriel couldn’t even finish his sentence because he was laughing so hard. His tummy is just so damn ticklish! Toriel knew what he was trying to tell her though.

Toriel: *blushing* I love you too sweetie!

Asriel: AHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

After two minutes of tickling his tummy, Toriel finished up by tickling his bellybutton for twenty seconds which in turn, caused Asriel to bleat very loudly.

Toriel: *tickles Asriel’s bellybutton*

Asriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Toriel: Ok, time for a break. *stops tickling Asriel*

Asriel: … *catching his breath* You sure know how to make me laugh Mom!

Toriel: Well it’s quite easy my child. You’re so wonderfully ticklish! *pinches Asriel’s cheek*

Asriel: *giggling*

While Asriel was resting, Toriel once again caressed his head. After ninety seconds, she stopped briefly to stretch her arms. With Toriel’s arms up over her head, Asriel sat up, with his legs still hanging over the left arm of the chair, and did something that surprised the hell out of his mother.

Toriel: *stretching arms*

Asriel: *sits up and tickles Toriel’s underarms*

Toriel: AHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! ASRIEL!!! WHAHAHAHAHHAAAT ARE YOU DOHOHOOHOHOOING!!!

Asriel: You knew this was coming at some point Mom!

Toriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!! IT TIHIHIHIIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHHIHCKLES SO MUCH!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

After letting his mother tickle him numerous times, Asriel finally decided to tickle his mother back and he surprised the hell out of her by tickling her underarms while she was stretching. It caught her completely off guard and she howled with hysterical laughter as she threw her head back numerous times. Asriel got his ticklish underarms from his mother and he kept her laughing for next two minutes.

Toriel: AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAAHAAAHA!!! IT STILL THIHIHHIHIHHHIHHIHICKLES MY CHIHIHIHIHHHHIHILD!!! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!

Asriel: I love your laughter Mom! Not only did I get your ticklish underarms, but I also got your ticklish neck! *tickles Toriel’s neck*

Toriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHA! ASRIEL! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAP!!

Asriel: Oh Mom, you know you love it!

Despite telling Asriel to stop, Toriel is actually having fun being tickled by her son. And Asriel was right, she knew that this was going to happen at some point and the time has finally arrived. Asriel was much younger the last time he tickled his mother and after all these years, he’s very happy to be doing it again. Asriel also got his ticklish neck from his mother and Toriel was practically cackling from all of the ticklish sensations from her son’s furry fingers on her neck, and Asriel loved hearing every second of it.  

Toriel: AHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Asriel: I am having so much fun!

After two more minutes, Asriel shifted his hands down to his mother’s ribs and tummy. This time however, Toriel wasn’t laughing as hard because her ribs and tummy aren’t nearly as ticklish and this was Asriel’s way of going easier on her. He doesn’t want to tire her out too much.

Toriel: Hahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahaaa!

Asriel: I’m so lucky to have a ticklish mom! I’m still having a lot of fun!

Toriel: I loohohhohohohove you sweeheehehehehheehetie! Hahahahahahaahahahahahahaha!

Asriel: I love you too Mom! You just keep laughing now!

Toriel: Nohohohohoohoho prahahahahahahablem! Hahahahahahahaahahahahahaa!

After about ninety seconds, Asriel felt an arm wrap around his ankles and he immediately stopped tickling his mother.

Asriel: *something grabs Asriel’s ankles* What the?

Chara: … *has an evil grin on her face*

Asriel: Chara?!

Chara: Payback time Asriel!

Asriel: TRAITOR!!

Chara: *tickles Asriel’s feet*

Asriel: *lies back down in Toriel’s lap and squirms frantically* AHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAM!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHELP!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Toriel: *grabs a hold of Asriel to prevent him from escaping* I’m afraid I can’t do that sweetie! Hee hee hee! Chara, you’re going to help me tickle Asriel? That’s so nice of you!

Chara: It’s the least I could do! I can’t let him get away with tickling you like that!

It appears that Chara has betrayed Asriel. It looks like he shouldn’t have told her that he was planning on tickling their mother. Unknown to Toriel and Asriel, Chara watched the two of them tickle each other from another room (She went downstairs as soon as she heard Asriel laughing). Chara was craving some revenge on Asriel for tickling her this morning and with him constantly showing off his cute feet as he tickled his mother and got tickled by her, she couldn’t help but step in and do something about that. And did something about that she did, Chara slowly tickled her hyper ticklish brother’s feet for an entire minute. Asriel can still talk if his feet are slowly being tickled, even if he does struggle a small bit.

Asriel: AHAHAAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAT TIHIHIHIHHIHHIHIHIHIHHCKLES SOHOHOOOHOHOHHO MUCH!!! CHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHRA I THOHOHOHOHOHOUGHT I AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA COULD AAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHA TRUST YOU!!!

Chara: You should know better than that Azzy! And dude, I’m barely touching your feet!

Toriel: Hee hee hee! Get him good honey!

Chara: With pleasure! *rapidly tickles Asriel’s soles*

Asriel: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! *SNORT* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! *gibberish* AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAAA!!!!!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! *gibberish* AHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

Chara: I still don’t speak gibberish Azzy!

Chara rapidly tickled every inch of Asriel’s soles for two minutes. With his soles being tickled rapidly, Asriel couldn’t say a single understandable word and only gibberish came out of his mouth whenever he actually tried speaking. Chara had absolutely no problem keeping her arm wrapped around Asriel’s ankles and Toriel had absolutely no problem holding him down in her lap as he squirmed and thrashed around frantically. Asriel constantly wiggled his toes as a means of dealing with the tickling, but he should know by now that wiggling his toes only makes Chara want to tickle him more.

After two minutes of rapidly tickling his soles, Chara began tickling Asriel’s ungodly ticklish toes. Seeing Asriel’s six toes wiggle and splay all the while Chara tickled his soles only got her even more excited to tickle his cute toes. Asriel unintentionally (or quite possibly, intentionally) teased Chara by wiggling and splaying his toes. Because of that, Chara made him bleat and scream with hysterical, maniacal, and frantic laughter. To make matters worse, his mother began poking him all over his torso while Chara was going to town tickling those teasing toes.

Asriel: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! *SNORT* AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! *SNORT* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! AHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

As Toriel gently poked Asriel, Chara tickled every inch of his toes and especially made sure to get right in between his toes to get the best laughs possible out of him. Asriel was a laughing and bleating mess and he still couldn’t believe his sister’s betrayal. He eventually realized that he should have seen it coming. After ninety seconds, Chara suggested something she figured her mother wouldn’t refuse doing.

Chara: Hey Mom, I think you should blow raspberries on Asriel’s tummy!

Toriel: What an excellent idea my child!

Toriel then lifted Asriel’s shirt as much as she possibly could and blew several raspberries on his tummy, causing adorably precious laughter to spill from his mouth. Chara slowed up tickling Asriel’s feet because she was enjoying the sight of her mother blowing raspberries all over her brother’s tummy.

Toriel: *blows raspberries on Asriel’s tummy*

Asriel: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!

Chara: (Awww, that is so cute!)

While Toriel was blowing raspberries on Asriel’s tummy, Chara stopped tickling Asriel’s feet entirely after thirty seconds and grabbed some rope that she hid under Toriel’s chair earlier today. As soon as Asriel noticed that his feet weren’t being tickled anymore, he looked in Chara’s direction and Chara winked at him. Toriel didn’t notice because she was too busy blowing raspberries on Asriel’s tummy and was having a damn fun time doing it.

Asriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Chara: *holds up rope and winks at Asriel*

Asriel: (Oh NOW I get it!) AHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAHAA!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

It turns out that Chara didn’t betray Asriel after all. Chara did tickle Asriel for revenge, but it was mostly because she wanted Toriel to believe that she was on her side. And when Toriel wasn’t looking, Chara would sit on her legs and tie them to the footrest.

Toriel: *feels something sitting on her legs and stops blowing raspberries* What on earth?

Chara was sitting on top of Toriel’s legs to prevent her from kicking them all over the place as she tied them to the footrest. Asriel, realizing what Chara was planning, reached up and tickled his mother’s underarms to distract her so Chara could continue tying her legs to the footrest.

Toriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAA!!! ASRIEL!!! NOHOHOOHOHHOOOOHOOHOOOHO!!! AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! CHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHRA!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAT ON EARTH AAHAHAHAHAHAHRE YOU DOHOOHOOHOOHOOING?!!!

Chara: You’ll see Mom. *has an evil grin on her face* You’ll see.

Toriel: *feels something wrapping around her toes* AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (Oh my goodness, what is that?!) *feels something wrap around her toes again* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!! (Wait a second! Are they going to?!) *tries to pull her feet apart* AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA!!!! (Oh my god, they are!!)    

Toriel quickly realized what her children were planning on doing the moment she was unable to pull her feet apart and she got INCREDIBLY NERVOUS! Chara tied Toriel’s two innermost toes together with a shoe string!

Toriel: NOHOHHOHOHOOOOHOHOOHOHOOHOOHOHOHOO!!! PLEHEEHEEHEHEHEEHEHEASE NAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAT THAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAT!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! ANYTHING AAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAAHHAHAAHA BUT THAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAT!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAAHAHA!!!

After one minute, Toriel’s legs were securely tied to the footrest and her toes were securely bound together. Toriel couldn’t kick her legs no matter how hard she tried. Asriel had no idea that Chara was planning on tying Toriel’s legs to the footrest, but he decided to go along with it anyway. Besides, it’s PROBABLY a good idea!

As soon as Chara finished tying her mother’s legs to the footrest, she got off of her mother’s legs and then sat down on the floor and faced towards her soles. Asriel stopped tickling his mother’s underarms and gave her a quick breather before Chara does something that will put an INCREDIBLY HUGE smile on her face. That’s right! Toriel’s going to get her big feet tickled! :D

TO BE CONTINUED...