#assembly line | queue

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@pxison asked: (Deity verse Reiju) "Apologies for my brothers, they don't seem to know when enough is enough." She says softly to the goddess of light that has happened upon a scene of utter travesty. The handiwork of her fellow calamities no doubt, and it was up to her to collect the casualties that resulted from it all. "Those that remain could really use a shining light in their darkest hour and I am ill-suited to provide that guidance." Unprompted

Of all of the Horsemen, Death was the one Ikkaku could find most tolerable, surprisingly enough. Reiju was far less wretched than her brothers, to be sure. She understood her purpose. She didn't revel in the misery she created and leave a mess for the likes of Ikkaku to clean up. Reiju was Death, yes, but she respected the lives she took and sought to guide the souls to their deserved afterlife, just as Ikkaku guided the living. They were similar and held a mutual respect for the necessity and value of their respective duties.

It was why Ikkaku couldn't get angry at her, as much as she'd love to scream and rage and unleash her fury at something. Reiju was not the guilty party. Yes, she had caused some of this, but her domain was a natural side effect of Conquest, War, and Famine. If nothing else, she was the one who put an end to her brothers' "fun" whenever they were unleashed.

"Thank you," the Lady of the Light sighed, looking around at the desolate city that had once thrived. Bodies and rubble littered the streets. Smoke and distant cries still filled the air. Pain and suffering was so thick one could almost taste it. It made the goddess' stomach turn. "Your brothers...they did a number on this place. Worse than usual, from the looks of it. But humans are resilient. I'll show them the way, and they'll rebuild their lives, then their city, and once again thrive." It was said as much to herself as it was to the other goddess. A reminder to them both.

Turning, Ikkaku met Reiju's eyes, her gaze sympathetic and soft smile encouraging. "And don't sell yourself short. You might not be able to guide the living, but I admire your dedication to the dead. Your changes would be just as lost as mine without you. Death is the natural end to any journey, whether your brothers are involved or not. Though I sure as hell wouldn't mind them being less involved for the next century or so."

[ikkaku-of-heart]

"Nah, not personal experience." As much as she loved her boys, neither Penguin, Shachi, nor Bepo were technically the first mate, and with some rare exceptions enabled Law's more foolish tendencies than hindered them. Then again, with how serious Law was, perhaps that was a good thing. "But my grandfather often told me that the first mate is the captain's first line of defense against his own stupidity. Which isn't an easy battle to fight, in your case," Ikkaku teased. "You may be losing bets, but I'm guessing he's is paying for it in grey hairs and high blood pressure."

From what Tomasu had told her in his bedtime stories about the Roger Pirates, Silvers Rayleigh's gold locks had certainly suffered thanks to the Pirate King's actions. However, her grandfather had also fully admitted there were times he had contributed by egging Roger on to do something stupid, whether for the sake of some scheme or just his own amusement. As Shanks said, one needed a distraction to keep yourself occupied while at sea. Tomasu's had been poking the proverbial bear.

Pulling a pen out of her pocket, she slid it and the receipt the bartender gave her for her drinks across the bar to Shanks. Before this moment she'd assume that the great Red Haired Shanks wouldn't give out his number so easily, or would likely give her one that went to a heavily-coded Den Den, but having met the man...well, she was 99% sure he'd give her the keys to his cabin door if she fluttered her eyelashes enough. Good thing she wasn't the nefarious type to take advantage of such a thing. "Bright blue marks and looked like a lion, huh? Maybe you should have tried enticing it with catnip or one of those feather toys. Something to get 'em purring so he'd be more inclined to play with you," she said, giving him a sly wink.

"Speaking from experience? Got one yourself? Or are you the one who wins bets against your captain?" She was a pirate after all, that much was clear from the jolly roger on her suit. But if she was a captain herself or what position she hold in any crew was obviously unknown to him. Not that it mattered much in the end. "And well, one might think I've learned my lesson after so many years, but as many more lost bets show: I haven't."

How Benn managed to win most bets on the ship was still a mystery to him. And he had tried to figure it out. Several times. Only to be met by a frustrating answer that made things worse than they were of any help. It surely was a damn shame that his vice captain was practically immune against Shanks pouting and puppy eyes.

He chuckled lightly, pushing some wet strands of his hair out of his face. Again: He was more than glad that he hadn't landed on a winter island. Few things he despised more than the cold. "Well, if you're confident in your skills to survive such an attempt: Go for it. I think it's fun. And a great distraction during long times on sea."

He reached for his mulled wine again, grateful for the warmth it provided when he drunk it, as well as he continued to hold onto it. "I might have to take you up on that." Even if he had to be more careful on Fishman Island, now that it was part of Big Moms territory. It irked him that the old hag had been quicker than him when it came to taking over this particular island from Whitebeards old territories.

There was a smile on his face as he listened to her offer. And honestly, he liked the way she asked for his number. So why not humor her a bit? He liked the chemistry between them and he didn't have a bad feeling around her, on that would ask him for caution. "Appreciate the offer sweetheart. Got anything for me to write then?" Benn would probably call him an idiot for giving out his number like that, but Benn wasn't here and what he didn't know. "And it resembled a bit of a lion. Even sounded like an overgrown and angry cat if you ask me. Had some bright blue marks on it's snout. Couldn't see much more, given it was busy trying to drown or eat me before it flung me off nearby"

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@celestiialnotes for Bepo continued from here:

Damn it, Bepo was so hard to hold her ground against. He was just so darn cute, even when he wasn't trying to be, and Ikkaku always felt so guilty arguing with him even a little bit.

"Bepo, it's not even that I like to work," she argued, though honestly, she did enjoy it more than normal people. Machines were her passion, and she liked how a job well done made her feel useful. Necessary. Like she couldn't be discarded easily. Not that the Hearts ever would, but it was a security that kept an old wound in her soul from reopening. "It's just that it's important that I get my work done. What I'm working on now is going to be major for the whole ship! The sooner I get it done, the happier everyone will be!"

For a moment, when Bepo seemed willing to bargain for time, she had hope that she could finish the new ship-wide air conditioning system in peace, but when he suggested less than an hour, her shoulders drooped. "That's...not enough time, Bepo. I'm nearly done building it, but I'm gonna need more time than that to install it. More like...ok, probably another four hours at least." Admittedly, she could maybe finish the actual building part in less than an hour if she rushed, but this had to be perfect. The whole crew would benefit, but it was specifically for the poor polar bear mink who suffered from the heat and stuffiness of the submarine when they were underwater for too long. So she couldn't risk rushing and screwing up. He deserved to be comfortable, and if she had to miss a few meals and hours of sleep, it was worth it.

[mrs-elsie-barnes]

Beep Cute | Steve Rogers x Reader | Oneshot - 1.1k words

When some ass on a motorbike splashes you, leaving your sandwich and coffee on the sidewalk, you decide to follow them and give them a piece of your mind.

Warnings: language, angry meet-cute, reader is described as shorter than Steve. Fluffy nonsense 🥰

Divider by @firefly-graphics

For @avengers-assemble-bingo Spring Bingo "floral decorations"

Masterlist | Steve Rogers | Spring Bingo

As if your day couldn’t get any worse, it rained. Not the kind of autumnal drizzle that accompanied most days since you moved to New York, but torrential, fierce, bullets of rain that pounded on your flimsy umbrella and soaked you from your toes up. At least you had a warm sandwich and a huge coffee to console yourself with when you got back to your apartment. It was this thought that had you losing focus as you strayed too close to the road and the growing puddles that lined each street corner, forming ponds on the crossings and reflecting the angry, grey sky back up at itself. 

A horn blared, shocking you from your thoughts half a second before a tidal wave of murky, puddle water soaked you from the neck down. 

“What the fuck!” You shouted, eyeing the motorbike as it sped down the road, dodging between the traffic. Your coffee lay at your feet, mixing with the equally dark water pooling around your shoes. The carefully prepared and wrapped sandwich hadn’t fared any better, the deli paper now soggy and falling apart. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!” You fumed, squeezing your eyes tight to stop your tears from falling. You wouldn’t cry, but you would get even. 

The motorbike stopped at the lights, giving you a chance to catch up, before turning a corner and making its way into an underground garage. Whoever was riding was big, a soft looking brown leather jacket stretched across their shoulders, maybe too big to be challenge? But one thought of the delicious sandwich, now a soggy mess on the floor, gave you the courage to continue your pursuit. 

Rounding the side of the building you found the entrance, huge glass and steel walls towered over the grand atrium, probably some bank or something, especially considering the mass of people swarming in at this time. It took a while for you to get in, but as soon as you did you wondered how you were even going to find this person amid the crowds. 

 You contemplated asking at the front desk, it was decorated in a spray of spring flowers, bunnies, eggs, daffodils and tulips that were a contrast to the various groups dressed in odd, all black, military uniforms that milled around the elevators.

You joined the queue of other visitors, watching the animations of bunnies hopping along the crisp white reception desk among blooming flowers and fluttering grass. How ridiculously ostentatious. Who even watered the flowers? How much had all this nonsense cost just for the identikit staff to walk past without evening noticing.

But before you could reach the front of the queue the lift opened revealing a familiar looking leather jacket. Now in dry jeans and trainers, but still with damp hair. 

“Hey!” You shouted again, this time the man looked up, his blonde hair falling in front of his face briefly before he could swipe the wet locks back with his hands. 

“Hi!” He said cheerily, holding his hand out, “always nice to meet fans, I can’t stop though.” He smiled in a strange way, both friendly and cold, as if this wasn’t quite his real smile but something practised and placed. 

“I’m not a fan, quite the fucking opposite.” You brushed his hand back and he bristled briefly, taking on a wider stance and glancing at the small group he had left to speak to you. 

“Can I help you, Ma’am?” 

“Yes, you fucking can. First I want an apology-” 

“An apology?” 

“Yes! For splashing me so rudely and knocking my lunch out of my hands and then, and then -” your anger was catching up with you, winding you as you tried to stare down the man towering above you, but it was difficult given your wet hair and several inches of height he had over you. “— then you owe me for my lunch, by the way, which I was really looking forward to.”

“I’m so sorry, ma’am, I had no idea I’d stopped you from having your food, what if I-” 

“Is that it? What gives you the fucking right to behave like that, what if I didn’t find you? Huh? Would you still say sorry? No, probably not. You city boys, you’re all the same, so rude.” 

The man smiled again, not the calculated toothless grimace he’d attempted early, but a wide smile, then he laughed. 

"City boys?"

"You know what I mean, bankers, hedge funder-ers — whatever you're called."

“Bankers?” He was holding back a laugh very unsuccessfully.

“Yes, bankers, all so rude and, and, and, privileged!” 

“You think this is a bank?” 

“Yes…” Suddenly you weren’t sure, was it a bank? You looked around again, noticing the Stark logo on one of the lifts in the corner, the other lifts had a large 'A' with an a-symetrical tail and…fuck. Oh, fuck, this wasn’t a bank at all. “Oh.” 

“Oh?” 

“This is Avengers tower?” 

“Yes.” The man nodded and, oh shit, now you looked properly, not just any man. Steve fucking Rogers, Captain America. You looked around, the rest of the reception area had already gone quiet to watch your interaction and you’d be damned if you backed down now. America’s golden boy or not, he’d been rude and you wanted your compensation. 

“That’s even worse!” 

He smiled again, pulling you by the elbow, scanning a security pass quickly and closing the door behind you. 

“You can’t kidnap me!” Although you wanted to sound firm and authoritative, it came out as more of a shriek. “Let me go!” 

“Hey, hey.” Steve held his hands up, spreading them wider than his shoulders and stepping back, “I just didn’t want you all over the papers or something.” 

Through your heavy breaths you managed to calm down, looking him over again. He really didn’t seem to want to hurt you and, now the initial shock of the situation had worn off, he also looked very, very sorry. 

“I really didn’t mean to splash you, or make you lose your lunch. Please let me make it up to you?” He offered, lowering his hands slowly. 

“How?” 

“Well…We’ve got spare clothes here, you can have them, whoever your favourite Avenger is, there’s sweatpants and sweaters, whatever you want, you can have it, and then when you’re dry, please let me take you to lunch.” 

“You want to take me to lunch?” You raised an eyebrow, “not just give me some Avengers cheque? Me and you, lunch?” 

“Only if you want to.” Steve let his smile soften, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t want to put any pressure on you, I just thought…well, it could be fun?”

“It could be fun,” You agreed, allowing yourself a small smile too. 

“Great, lets get you some clean clothes.” Steve bounced towards the door again, holding his hand out for you to follow, “who’s your favourite Avenger?” He asked, looking hopefully. 

“Oh, uhm… Thor?” 

“Thor!?” 

Steve’s face dropped and you laughed, taking his hand.

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@medicus-mortem asked: "Happy Heart Day," Law says, dropping a bag of anatomically correct chocolate hearts into Ikkaku's hands. He leans down to press an appreciative kiss to her hair before straightening, hand now ruffling those curls. "How's the clock work heart goin' this year?" he continues, eyeing Ikkaku's work. "Gonna beat correctly without falling apart by the end of the night?"

Ikkaku let out a happy giggle at the feeling of Law's lips pressing against her hair, which turned into laughter when it was followed by a gentle noogie. She loved these little private displays of brotherly affection, and while he didn't require a hade-up holiday to show how much he loved his crew, Ikkaku certainly wasn't complaining. Especially when chocolate and kisses were involved.

Snacking on one of the hearts, noting that Law had done a good job tempering the chocolate, she scrutinized her work. "It's nearly ready. I've fine-tuned it from last year and made a ton of improvements. It's solid as the Tang herself and should beat steadily throughout the night." Ikkaku smirked up at her captain, incredibly pleased with herself, reaching over to give him a quick hug. "I added some extras to it, too. Because it's not gonna just beat. It's gonna pump liquid. Specifically, booze. There's gonna be a spout for it to come out of at the bottom so people can get their drinks right from the heart. I got a nice red amaretto too. Figured it would be a nice centerpiece for the party."

[ikkaku-of-heart]

Ikkaku laughed loudly at getting flipped off, her joy and relief at how this night had turned out palpable and echoing throughout the cave. Instead, she just bumped his hip with hers, letting him know without words that this would not be the end of her teasing over his poor choice of words.

Really, this was arguably the best anniversary adventure they could have asked for. Banter, treasure, cryptids, and Law getting to be badass. Truly the best outcome possible.

But the night wasn't quite over yet, and Law's fun was only just beginning. They needed to get out of the cave and back to the ship so he could play mad scientist. His powers would get them outside with little fuss, but he had a point about now wanting to lug around the cryptid until they had their bearings. If it was dangerous outside, it was better to not have their hands full.

Yet he also had a point about not leaving the body on the damp floor of the cave. That could make it decompose a bit quicker or make it bloat. At the very least, it was gross. Better to put it someplace dry and where it wasn't at risk of getting washed away if something came up.

Peering around the cave, many of the higher points were still hidden in shadow, but she did spot a ledge near the moonlit entryway. That could be where the creature would sleep so it could escape easily should the tide come in at night.

"There's a ledge way up there," Ikkaku pointed out. "Probably doesn't see much water unless there's a storm or full moon. That'll at least be a bit dryer than down here, and it'll keep it from getting wet as the tide comes in. We'll be quick and efficient checking out the cliffs, then come back for your test subject. Don't worry, Law - you'll get the bat monster dissection of your weird fantasies," she teased.

   The monster settles gently onto the wet cavern floor. A shiver runs through law, the cold night air cutting though him now that he is damp. He should have been more careful in here. That’s sea water and it really could have put a stop to his powers if he’d got more than a few splashes on him. Oh well. He got his monster and a huge haul of coins. It’s a successful night in his estimation. Law gazes down at his catch, the doctor already taking note of the creature’s musculature and bone structure. Already he is fascinated.

   Ikkaku comes over with her snark, shoving him playfully and taking note of his word usage. Lips purse at the teasing and at first his response is to simply flip her off. She then gets to the task of contacting the crew and Law holds off on his own snark for now. Instead, he crouches down to get a closer look at those wings and the leathery membrane the beast used to fly. Mind goes to the tests he will run, the dissection he will perform. The excitement of it burns away some of the alcohol, his mind growing sharp as it races with possibility. Then his engineer’s call is done and she throws a question his way.

    A hum, gaze turning to the crack they squeezed through and then to the gap above them.

   “It won’t fit through the caves, not unless I take it apart here and I wanna save that for the lab,” he says, standing. He strides over to where his jacket fell, an arm of it sitting in stagnant sea water. He pulls if free, shaking it. “I’ll teleport us out. Besides, the tide will be coming in soon. Don’t wanna get trapped here when that happens.”

   And getting topside straight away will let them get a more accurate location for the cavern. Law makes the Room around him vanish before creating another Room. He spreads it out further than the last, stretching until it goes far beyond where they can see. Law closes his eyes, focusing on the data getting pumped into his brain. The terrain outside isn’t ideal but Law isn’t surprised. They did head further down in the cave so that would mean what’s out there is below shore level.

   “Seems like there is a cove beyond that wall,” Law says, pointing to the right. “That crack opens out of the cliffs into that cove. We’ll have to take a look before moving the bat monster.” A grimace as eyes open. “Damn. Don’t like leaving it in the damp.”

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@thousandreamers continued from here:

Normally, Ikkaku would have asked before touching someone's hair. Especially the first mate of a rival crew who could, theoretically, slice her to pieces if he were so inclined. But given the thickness and volume of the blonde mane before her, she knew if she hadn't acted fast, the beetle that had landed on the golden locks would have made itself at home and likely not been found for ages.

Gingerly holding up the large, green insect, she grimaced. The pincers were nearly the same length as its body, and she was more than aware they were sharp and slightly venomous, like a wasp's stinger. It made her all the more grateful she was wearing her thick gloves. "Yeah. Sorry for just grabbing, but these little guys have been a menace since we landed. Got poor Bepo earlier. Burrowed right into his fur and when he tried to get it out, damn thing bit him like six times and the spots swelled up bigger than a spark plug. Didn't want you suffering the same fate."

Glaring at the beetle as if this particular one was the very bug that had harmed her friend, she held it up for Killer to study. "Little bastard's got a painful bite. Law's torn between extracting their venom for study or eradicating every last beetle on the island for messing with our navigator. You got any preference?"

[parchmentpaperandco]

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Four modern art prints and... a delightful MDF cupboard (self -assembly).

An occasional chair in Basico Homewares Geo fabric.

Available to order on-line or pop into one of our stores and queue at the poorly staffed cash desk.

With much gratitude to the talented mesh creators.

[ikkaku-of-heart]

Seeing that both Penguin and Law were ready to go, Ikkaku pulled out a stopwatch. It was important that she have the data she needed for any tweaks made to future builds, and that this one met her expectations. Estimations only went so far, after all.

"Ok. On your mark. Get set. GO!" she shouted, and Penguin dove into the water, the blue ocean below making a faint splash as he angled himself perfectly to cut through the waves like a hot knife through butter. The engineer peered down at him carefully from beside Law, thumb hovering over the button of the stopwatch. She already knew how fast Penguin could swim, having observed and timed him several times before. Plus, swimming races were a common practice for the Hearts, both for friendly competition and training.

Soon enough, he got to the designated twenty feet out. Ikkaku held her breath in anticipation as she waited, counting to three in her head. Right on cue, the underwater jetpack activated, propelling Penguin forward with a sudden burst. Whooping in glee, Ikkaku started her watch and eagerly observed how her new invention fared. Everything was working as she'd planned. Better, even!

"This is excellent," she cheered, stopping the clock after 60 seconds. Grinning, she looked up at Law, proud of her work and eager for his approval. "Penguin had been averaging 22 mph on his own, but by my calculations, the jetpack got him up to 60 mph!" Of course, that speed could be a lot for the average person. She might have to design at least a protective helmet or goggles for anyone using the jetpack to wear when using it. No sense in her shipmates getting hurt, especially if they suddenly made impact with something in the water, like a fish or debris.

"So, what do you think, Captain?" she asked as she watched Penguin come to a stop, turning to wave at them to show nothing had gone wrong on his end.

He offered a grunt in agreement even as he moved to the rail, waiting for Penguin to get into the water and begin the test. The chances of it going totally wrong were minimal. He'd seen enough of Ikkaku's work to know that she wouldn't even do a trial run unless she herself was willing to take the risk. Which meant that while he would be on standby if Penguin needed him, he highly doubted it would go to bad.

Still, he removed one hand from his pocket, resting it casually on the rail so that he'd be ready even as his friend jumped into the water with the ease of one who was almost as home in the sea as on land. They'd both grown up in the North Blue, so the waters of the Grand Line temperature-wise were nothing compared to what they were used to.

Notting the glance his way he said simply. "Ready when you are." Confirming that he had Penguin's back if something did go astray. Calmly waiting for the other to swim out the twenty meters and then push the button.

[talonabraxas]

Great Planetary Alignment Talon Abraxas A very rare treat is about to grace Earth's night skies.

On the evening of 28 February 2025, all seven of the other planets in the Solar System will appear in the night sky at the same time, with Saturn, Mercury, Neptune, Venus, Uranus, Jupiter, and Mars all lining up in a neat row – a magnificent sky feast for the eyes known as a great planetary alignment. Actually, it's not uncommon for a few planets to be on the same side of the Sun at the same time, but it's less common for most, or even all of the planets to align.

Any number of planets from three to eight constitutes an alignment. Five or six planets assembling is known as a large alignment, with five-planet alignments significantly more frequent than six.

Seven-planet great alignments are, of course, the rarest of all.

These alignments aren't the neat planetary queues you see in diagrams and illustrations of the Solar System. That's not a thing that actually happens in the real Universe, sadly. Yet the planets do appear to arrange themselves along an imaginary line.

This occurs because the planets of the Solar System all orbit the Sun on a flat plane called the ecliptic. Some of the planets have orbits tilted slightly above or below this plane, but they're all more or less on the same level like grooves on a record thanks to the way stars like our Sun form.

A baby star in a cloud of material starts spinning; the cloud around them swirls into a flattish disk that feeds into the baby star around its equator.

Planets form from what remains of the disk and, if left uninterrupted by other gravitational influences, will remain orbiting in that level position. Occasionally, the planets will be on the same side of the Sun as they move along their orbits, so we get to see them in the sky at the same time. This is what will grace the sky on the evenings of January 21 and February 28.

[mariacallous]

Air travelers in America shall no more doff their chukkas, their wedges, their wingtips, their espadrilles, or their Mary Janes, according to a rule-change announced by Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem on Tuesday. It’s been more than two decades since the Transportation Security Administration started putting people’s footwear through its scanners, after a man named Richard Reid tried and failed to detonate his high-top sneakers on a flight to Miami in December 2001. Indeed, the requirement has been in place so long that my adult children, who were born just before and after the September 11 attacks, didn’t even know its rationale. Feeling the cold airline-terminal floor through socks has been, for them, a lifelong ritual—as fundamental to the experience of flight as narrow seats and insufficient overhead bins.

The TSA’s mandate to go shoeless, like the volume limit on toiletry items (to thwart the assembly of explosives from liquids) and the need to remove laptops from carry-on bags (to better examine them for hidden threats), came to give the mere appearance of vigilance: not security but security theater. From the start, it provided newly federalized and uniformed TSA agents with stuff to do at every moment, and government officials with the chance to embrace “an abundance of caution,” a stock idea that can transform almost any inconvenience into leadership. Now, by closing the curtain on the shoe requirements, Noem has indulged in a rival form of spectacle: populism theater. Her new policy gives citizens something they actually want, and something that has until this point been reserved for upscale travelers who pay for premium airport-security-hopping services. But with this week’s change, the system hasn’t really been democratized so much as made indifferent. In this case, the fact of the TSA’s doing less—and caring less—just happens to be helpful.

In its earliest phase, the shoe-removal policy was applied haphazardly, showing up from time to time and terminal to terminal in response to ever-shifting, secret intelligence on terrorist threats tracked by the Department of Homeland Security. Where the new form of screening was in place, it served not only to avert future shoe bombs but also to speed up the queue. Metal detectors had been tuned to be more sensitive, and the metal shank inside the soles of many shoes, installed to provide support, often set them off.  (In response, some major footwear brands, including Rockport and Timberland, rushed out lines of shoes with plastic shanks that were marketed as being “security friendly.”)

By the summer of 2003, the policy had become more formalized; the TSA started “strongly” recommending that all passengers everywhere remove their shoes, or else risk being subject to a secondary screening. Speaking to The New York Times, a TSA representative said this new approach would “ensure that the experience you have in one airport is similar to the experience you have in another airport coast to coast.” Three years later, the policy of universal urging was made into a hard rule: Now your shoes had to come off, no matter what.

Although footwear checks applied to all in principle, some individuals—especially those deemed suspicious on the basis of their looks, or who evinced anxiety—were getting more aggressive treatment from the screeners. The system seemed unfair for some, and also far too burdensome for everyone. Why couldn’t some new and better form of scanner be invented, one that could spot a shoe explosive even as the wearer stood there? Would Americans be padding across the gross airport floors forever, just because of Richard Reid?

Better technology should have been the answer. In the decade after 9/11, tech firms completely reinvented everyday life: Web search, broadband, mobile telephony, e-commerce, smartphones, social networking, and real-time document collaboration all became routine. Back in 2002, many travelers would not have had so much as a flip phone in their carry-ons; 10 years later, most were toting handheld supercomputers. Yet when it came to building new devices for screening shoes, very little was accomplished. DHS spent millions of dollars in an effort to buy or subcontract the development of next-generation scanners that could avert sole-borne risks in airports, to no avail. (During this time, airport screening’s most significant innovation was the gray plastic bin into which you might hurl your pumps, boots, or loafers.) Shoe removal would ���be a part of air travel for the foreseeable future,” a TSA spokesperson somberly announced in 2012, after another four experimental scanners had failed in real-world testing.

But a different way to solve the problem also started to emerge that summer: It turned out just to be money. The privately operated Clear service was launched in airports, giving travelers willing to pay a couple of hundred dollars a year and hand over their biometrics the ability to shortcut the screening line. And when the government’s own pay-for-comfort airport-security service, TSA PreCheck, rolled out widely in 2013, enrollees could finally forgo the lingering inconvenience of taking off their shoes. PreCheck also let them keep their laptops packed and their toiletries inside their bags. For a time, airline flyers with elite status got special access to both PreCheck and Clear.

This would be right in line with other trends of the early 2010s, when the VIP experience was being sold in a thousand different ways. Pay-to-play became a way of life. It’s hard to remember anymore, but before ride-hailing apps were available for nearly everyone, private cars were associated with late-night talk-show guests and people being shuttled to airports directly after giving conference keynotes. The precursors to the modern smartphone, such as the BlackBerry, were originally made for important executives before everyone adopted the air of importance. Since then, the whole economy has shifted upmarket. Those with money can now buy online memberships that get them tables at restaurants or tickets to shows whenever they want. Even Disneyland lets you pay to skip ahead in line.

Trading cash for the right to get through airport security with your shoes on prefigured all this and made it visible for everyone to see. Being in the TSA PreCheck queue not only gave you quick, shod access to the terminal; it also offered a perch from which to look down on the rabble nearby, stripped down to their socks and belt loops, presenting their shampoos and ointments, and unsheathing their electronics. What a bunch of losers, frequent fliers might think, before ascending to the airline club in their Lobbs or Louboutins.

It’s surely long past time to broaden out this special privilege and to stop demanding that every other person among the 1 billion annual air passengers in the United States take off their shoes because one guy tried to hide a bomb in his sneakers a quarter century ago. But the termination of the policy does not feel justified by any new development in science, technology, intelligence, or geopolitics. In announcing the change, Noem gave no satisfying explanation. She said only that it was enabled by the presence of “multi-layers of screening,” new scanners, more personnel, and Real ID—a nationwide identification system that was ginned up by Congress 20 years ago and somehow still has not been fully implemented.

By all appearances, the rule on shoes was not rescinded just because rescinding it happens to make sense. Rather, the change was made because the terror-hardened discipline of the millennium’s beginning has finally, fully been replaced by nihilism. These days, you board a plane that might or might not be flight-worthy, regulated by a shrunken-down Federal Aviation Administration, routed by an air-traffic-control system undermined by neglect and disdain. The president blamed a fatal plane collision on diversity programs, while selling access to the White House in plain view. No one seems to care. But at least you’ll be able to keep your shoes on before lifting off into America’s sunset.

[kaiasky]

ok so a while back I was playing terrafirmagreg. once I got to steam power I switched over to gregtech community pack modern. i crafted the first hv circuit last night so my thoughts

Gregtech is desperately in need of better emi tooling. look this is a long one I made a GH ticket about it. (don't like. bother the author about it i just don't wanna explain twice)

note that this is not gtnh which is the pack everybody says is ultra grindy

Ore veins + high resource demands is fundamentally awesome. If you need more iron, you mine 20 stacks of iron. it is really nice to think in full stacks, and to know that e.g. if you turn 5 stacks of steel into plates you will find a use for them. By FAR the thing gt does best is just make huge ore veins so you're limited by your processing capacities and not raw materials.

Likewise, I like that thus far I haven't unlocked one-block solve-everythings. e.g. for ore processing it seems like I'll be using long lines of thermal centrifuges for the foreseeable future

Not a huge fan of having progression be "voltage" imo. like... LEDs are always gonna run at around 3.3 right. I understand that we're crushed under the weight of IC2 here but yknow.

the tier system as a broad concept I, surprisingly, really like. The goals of a tier feel different enough that it's not just "ok set up the same stuff again" but it's nice how you have to gradually bootstrap your way into being able to make that tier's stuff efficiently. Knowing that e.g. I will probably want a HV assembler helps with the learning curve.

I'm not a huge fan of the wiring and cable loss. "run diesel throughout your base, and put a generator adjacent to any machine you'd like to power" is less interesting than 'build a power station and run power everywhere from it'.

But at every stage gt seems to incentivize running fuel over running power. A fuel line can power lv/mv/hv generators. Even a wood pipe can transport diesel to power maybe 100 machines, while wires scale linearly in cost with the amount of amps you want to run through em.

(Probably this will change at some point, like if I'm gregtech I'm eventually making the only viable power source a multiblock nuclear reactor or something)

multiblocks: wallsharing is cool and I do like the capital investment of building an expensive but powerful multiblock. Buuuuut.... idk. I think especially when they just function like a machine but big, it's like.. eh. I think of create's "sequenced assembly" concept and wish it was applied here. Or just... something.

Item pipes: pretty good implementation. I think a lot of pipe mods err on the side of being too powerful. gt pipes feel like pipes, not conveyor belts/hopper chains (by this I mean that the pipes are kinda a symbolic connection and not a literal physical queue items travel through) but a pretty weak version of pipes compared to others.

I can feel on the horizon the specter of ae2 and I'm never sure how to feel about that. having every item/fluid/power available in one cable is just too much. At the same time, routing it all manually in separate pipes is a nightmare. idk. I haven't played with Create's package frog system but it seems like a good solution to 'how can we not just rely on ae2'.

The mod pack includes the classic gtnh decor mods and specifically the sloped frame blocks. It's interesting how iconic that is as part of the gregtech aesthetic.

I think the 1m^3 machine size is really good. That's silly but I was comparing it to Satisfactory a lot as two games where you need to build factories in 3d first person. and I think it's just a lot nicer to be able to walk around the machines at block scale instead of having machines that are too big.

The fact that a generator producing less than its full amperage does this crazy stutter sound as it rapidly goes off/on is INSANE. like c'mon if something is drawing a steady state 16 eu/t it should supply that & then make a softer whrrr than the normal one. Or have it wait until the internal buffer is 20%,kick on until it's 80%,shut off etc. Awful sound design

[oleskyfm]

My problems w/ Marvel Rivals:

- no role queue/limit on DPS

- terrible, obnoxious announcer

- performance is lousy despite having a pretty good PC

- map destruction is not very cool or #tactical and mostly serves to detract from the experience with a bunch of visual clutter. It’s not like battlefield where I’m like “let’s destroy their cover! let’s blow the bridge so tanks can’t get across!” - it looks bad, it adds nothing, it tanks the frame rate. I hate when you get fucked over by the map rebuilding itself around you too.

- feedback in general is bad. The feel/sound of most weapons, how an attack lands, indicators for ultimates, callouts, hero footsteps, etc - it’s sloppy, it’s amateurish, it is not up to snuff.

- Not very many maps and some of them are just abominable to play while also not having any highlights. There is no King’s Row here to hang your hat on

- Tanking feels miserable. It often tends to be in these sortsa games, but it feels really bad here. Despite launching with way more heroes than Overwatch did, they made the same mistake of having far more DPS than they’ve got support or tank, and the variety for those other two roles is seriously lacking.

- Support ultimates are samey and a bit overtuned. where is the anti heal? Nanoboost? Bap wall? So many support ults in rivals are some sort of variation of “create a giant circle/zone that does a lot of healing”… DPS and tank ults aren’t that creative either but I guess that’s to be expected when they’re just cranking out 2 new heroes every few months assembly line style.

- whatever irks I have w/ Overwatch’s character design, world and ‘vibe’… that shit looks like a refreshing glass of water on a hot day compared to what Marvel has on offer here. Some would say that calling it gooner slop is unfair but I would say that isn’t going hard enough. I hate the overdesigned look of a lot of the default skins characters rock, and I really hate that they end up paywalling the look you’d actually want them to have behind a $20 skin more often than not. It’s bleak out there for the ladies. But it’s Marvel so what do you expect?

- some really baffling and troublesome balance updates already. This is inevitable with everything but I don’t have enough good to make it worth it here.

- Winter Soldier doesn’t have a single good skin

[mariacallous]

There’s nothing that upsets the British more than being ignored by the Americans. Or, if I’m being cruel, there’s nothing that upsets them more than not being shown love by the Americans. The special relationship between the two countries is an article of faith. It is desperately sought by one side and conferred with a pat on the head by the other.

For sure, there have been bumps in the road. U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson was infuriated when British Prime Minister Harold Wilson declined to help him with Vietnam in 1967; Prime Minister John Major got on President Bill Clinton’s bad side when the Conservatives in the United Kingdom campaigned for George H.W. Bush in 1992. In 2016, President Barack Obama infuriated the Brexiteers by warning voters that it would put the U.K. at the “back of the queue” for any trade deal if it left European Union. His prediction came true, at least for a while.

The most illustrative moment in recent history, however, belongs to Prime Minister Tony Blair and President George W. Bush. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the United States, the Blair became the galvanizer-in-chief for the White House. He was spectacularly successful in assembling a coalition of the willing for the invasion of Afghanistan. Within months, however, Bush had turned his attention elsewhere, announcing in a State of the Union address that he would go after the “axis of evil,” at the heart of which was Saddam Hussein and Iraq.

Blair had no idea this was going to happen, and he resolved he would never be blindsided by the White House again. As I wrote in my book, Blair’s Wars, he spoke with Bush in April 2002 and said he would go along with him, come what may. The rest, as they say, is dodgy dossiers, spurious legal advice, elusive weapons of mass destruction, and a disastrous occupation. All the various public enquiries that followed have corroborated this chain of events.

This line of thinking—always being at the United States’ right hand—is deeply embedded in British political psychology. It was that way before the U.K. joined the EU, while it was a member, and since it walked away. It is based in a small amount of hubris and a large lack of confidence. It was born in the hope that the relationship restores the status the U.K. once held on its own and still clings to.

President Donald Trump has upended pretty much every aspect of the world order. One of the byproducts of this is how London behaves in regards to Washington. During Trump’s first administration, it wasn’t that difficult to navigate. Prime Minister Theresa May found him distasteful but was able to work with him. Prime Minister Boris Johnson became a soulmate of his mercurial double across the pond—even though Johnson had made some unsavory remarks about Trump during his tenure as London’s mayor. In any case, Trump’s bark was worse than his bite.

This time around, however, everything is different—far more threatening than even the most assiduous strategists would have predicted.

The recent fraught weeks, during which Trump has humiliated Ukraine and embraced Russia, in which Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has been called a “dictator” and Russian President Vladimir Putin has been praised as a man of peace, have tested the mettle of all European leaders.

Trump and his people initially didn’t like what they saw in Prime Minister Keir Starmer, not least because Labour officials had gone to the United States to campaign for Vice President Kamala Harris.

MAGA ideologues regard Britain as infected with “woke,” not dissimilar to elsewhere in Europe. Yet they venerate other British cultural symbols like the monarchy, seeing them as a route back to a traditionalism that they wish to thrust upon their own people. Believing the two countries to be joined together by a shared language and other social mores, the Trumpians assume, or rather require, the Brits will ultimately follow along—come what may.

A lawyer by training and instinct, Starmer took the view that the less he said publicly about Trump, the more he might be able to influence him behind the scenes. His first visit into the lion’s den was marked by ostentatious flattery. He brought a letter from King Charles III inviting the president to London for a second state visit, and he talked glowingly about the special relationship. Tickled pink, Trump provided some surprisingly warm words of his own.

On his return to the U.K., Starmer was delighted with his diplomatic handiwork, as was much of a domestic media that had taken to criticizing him at every turn. The media seemed to agree with Starmer’s assessment that the relationship was going well. But not all took that view, however. Writing in the Times, veteran commentator Matthew Parris called it a “cheap stunt.” He wrote, “Going well? Yes, if to watch a British prime minister dancing attendance upon a monster and tickling its fancy is to watch an encounter ‘going well.’”

Starmer was not alone. Three days earlier, French President Emmanuel Macron made a pilgrimage to the White House and even managed to put his hand on Trump’s knee.

Then, barely hours after Starmer had returned to the U.K., came the ambush of Zelensky in the very same room.

To their credit, Starmer and Macron have tried to deal with each setback with as much steely resolve as possible. All Europe’s main players are operating with impediments. Macron is a presidential lame duck. Germany is waiting for its new government, though with the announcement of a $500 billion defense fund, Friedrich Merz has wasted no time in signaling his determination to step up.

Britain’s role is the most intriguing. Many in the European Commission and among EU member states have feared that Trump would exploit the U.K.’s position outside the bloc to drive a further wedge. Trump has already hinted he’ll do so, suggesting to Starmer that he might exempt the Brits from all or some of the tariffs that he’s waiting to slap on Europe. That would, as the British and American right-wing say, help “get Brexit done.”

It is a byproduct of the wider aim, shared by the Trumpians and by Putin, of undermining the EU from inside and out. In the early post-Brexit years, the EU was keen to distance itself from the U.K. and not reward it for its decision to leave. But now, for the EU, it seems everything is up for discussion with the Brits—including some flexibility in London’s arrangements with Brussels— as part of a more immediate task of helping Europe defend itself from the Trump-Putin axis. Trump’s hope seems to be that Starmer will break ranks, recommitting Britain to become an offshore haven for American (and presumably Russian) economic interests.

Which way will Starmer turn? Will he play the part of a teacher’s pet? Or will he stand firmly in unison with his European partners? Starmer has insisted that it’s a false choice and, so far, he appears to have been true to his word.

With Britain outside the formal structures of the EU, Starmer has to rely upon what used to be called variable geometry. He is also using a phrase beloved by former President George W. Bush: coalition of the willing. So far, the European approach is being coordinated by the British and French, with the Germans presumably about to join the top table, along with the EU and NATO. These new permutations are likely to outlast this present crisis—no matter how long it lasts—suggesting a finessing of some of the Brexit boundaries.

Yet, with Trump being Trump, there are many more serious crises ahead. How far will the Trump administration go to appease Putin? How far will Putin penetrate, militarily and politically, into Ukraine—and, who knows, other countries—with the United States’ acquiescence or blessing? Will Trump achieve his wish to take over Greenland? What about the tariffs? These are the known unknowns.

How far will the British really go in standing up to the White House? At what point will they be forced to realize that not only is the relationship no longer special (it hasn’t been for a long time), but that the friend is an adversary? Starmer is hoping that, by hanging in there, he can curb the instincts of his—and Europe’s—abusive partner.

[can-they-assemble-ikea-furniture]

General Info + Submission Guidelines

This is an almost exclusively submission based blog, so feel free to submit your characters. Just send an ask in. I'll put polls into the queue in the order they are received, and they'll run for a week once up. Make sure to include the fandom they are from. You may submit propaganda, and it will be included in the poll under a readmore. Celebrities may be submitted. Include what they're known for/what they do (ie, are they an actor/musician/whatever).

Answer polls assuming they have access to IKEA furniture to attempt assembling

1 poll is posted per day

Polls in queue(Updated Apr 16): 9 (+412 inbox*)

*the number for the inbox is the number of asks remaining, and may be more or less than the number of characters

Tags

Polls will be tagged with the fandom and character name. I usually use the names as submitted, and possibly popular relevant tumblr tags. If it is a real person, it will be tagged with their name, #real life, and sometimes their profession(s) (actor, musician, wrestler, etc)

If the image used was submitted with the ask, it will be tagged #image from submitter

Polls are tagged with the date submitted, formatted as the 3-letter English abbreviation of the month and the day (e.g. #Apr 29). Keep in mind this may be a day off due to timezone differences

Non-polls are rare, but will be tagged #not a poll (excluding the original version of this post)

Polls about blog policy(e.g. the "should I include pictures?" poll) will be tagged #blog policy poll

Frequently Asked* Questions

*or occasionally asked/mentioned in tags. or perhaps I'm just giving you the information and no one has ever once asked this

[Character] has a lot of different portrayals/renditions. Which one does the poll refer to?

Unless the post specifies one in particular, I don't have any more clue than you do. If the submission specifies, I put it in the post. The rendition a picture is from is not intended to indicate a specific source.

What level of specificity is allowed?

You may be as specific or unspecific as you like with your character submission. Both "Link from The Legend of Zelda series" and "Castiel from Supernatural, specifically in S05E08 'Changing Channels'" would be allowed. That being said, I reserve the right to not publish excessive variations of the same character (e.g. if you submit Castiel separately for every episode of supernatural, I will not be posting all of those).

What do you mean by "assemble it well"?

You may interpret this however you like, but I would define it as getting furniture assembled such that it stays together, and deviations from the instructions are either intended or insignificant. I would not count mental distress as not going well (for the purpose of answering this question), with the exception of cases where the mental distress leads to it being disassembled, unfinished, or otherwise destroyed.

Will my username be publicized?

For submissions, no. For other asks, probably. Anon is on if you wish to use it.

What is the ideal format for submissions?

Submit through asks. The exact formatting doesn't matter much, but the format of "[character] from [media]" including proper capitalization (e.g. Link from Legend of Zelda), with additional content on other lines is slightly easier to copy-paste.

Should I submit multiple characters as separate asks?

Up to 3 characters in one ask is fine. More than that, please split the asks. If you want to submit each as a separate ask, that's equally fine. If submitting multiple characters from the same media, it's fine to either list them and say "all from [media]" or list them all as "[character] from [media]".

How are the pictures used obtained?

Generally from fan wikis, or wikipedia. If a picture is submitted with the ask, I will use that, and tag the post #image from submitter

Why is this picture of the wrong character/why was an inapplicable tag used?

Due this being a submission-based blog, I am not personally familiar with all characters on here. If something is improperly tagged, the image is of the wrong character, etc, notify me (through asks, messages, or by tagging me) if you want me to fix it.

What's the policy on re-polls?

This is one of the questions no one has ever once asked! As such, I do not have a policy on re-polls for polls that don't have a significant error. If a poll has a significant error(something that disrupts its ability to be answered, such as polls that only run for a day rather than a week, or don't have the answers set up correctly), notify me (through asks, messages, or by tagging me) and I'll put out a corrected version as soon as I can.

Is there a way to jump ahead of the poll queue?

Be me. Or submit a character I decide I really want that answered about. This hasn't happened yet, but I reserve the right to post polls out of order, although if I do they'll be in addition to the regularly scheduled polls. They'll also be tagged with #out of order.

Can I submit multiple characters to be judged as a team?

If the characters are inexorably linked (for example, sharing a body), yes. Otherwise, still yes, but I ask that you not submit more than a few polls featuring the same character, as to not overwhelm the blog with excessive polls about a single character. I reserve the right to not publish excessive polls involving the same character.

How do you determine whether the same character is being submitted in "excessive" polls (for variations of a character or in teams)?

This is another one of the questions no one has ever once asked! It also hasn't come up yet, so I don't really know. If you have a specific question, you can ask.

[inventors-fair]

Rooms of Improvement: Commentary

Whuh... Where am I? I stumbled through so many rooms with no exit, ran out of time, ran into even more time, ran up and down the staircases until I didn't know whether I was going up OR down... I closed doors to rooms I know I'd never been inside, and found myself on the other side of doors I never remembered closing...

Well, might as well talk about some of those rooms. Overall, I'd say that I'm pleased as punch with how everyone did in the end. Imaginative rooms were combined with new/old/relevant tech and everything felt pretty damn fresh! Enchantments and rooms almost feel incongruous, but what else would they be, artifacts? It's interesting to think about their role in the game and how they are on Duskmourn as a plane; they're essentially nightmarish visions of the residents. But not everything has to be intangible, right? Enchantments as representations are super weird. I feel that rooms are the type that really speaks to how much you have to suspend your disbelief about what a room "is" in order to fully immerse yourself.

This is all preamble, though, and there ain't much we can do about it now except talk about the cards on a card-by-card basis. If you see something marked JUDGE PICK, it means that the card is notable in a way I wanted to point out to commentary readers and/or it was really close to the podium but we only have so many slots. Let's run through all these rooms right back the way we came...

@cthulhusaurusrex — Abandoned Queue / House of Mirrors

I'm struggling a little bit to find the flavor connection between the queue and the deathtouch counters. The carnival aspect is quite interesting, though, and I like the nuanced link with the carnival theme, e.g. the sameness of a queue's monotony and turning everything into an assembly line vs. the reflections of a house of mirrors that trap a victim in its sameness. And I also understand the deathtouch-to-pinging part of it that's supposed to be a cute connection with the destruction. Is it worth it to put the counters on your opponent's things, though? I'd argue not, not in the long term.

Still, the concept of getting the two-in-one that could potentially kill your opponent's board is respectable in concept. Where I feel this card misses the mark is the drawback between intent and execution. Putting deathtouch counters on your own creatures is an excellent way of getting aggression in. If you've already put the counters on and your opponent has no creatures, though, the House (if unlocked) will kill your own board. The choice of the Queue either fails to account for the House or asks that the House do more than the drawback of putting counters on your opponent's creatures will allow. Selective targeting could make for strong strategy, but it's not the kind of effect that can be utilized without a lot of agonizing over choices that are ultimately not worth the risk.

~

@helloijustreadyourpost — Casino Floor / Manager's Vault

I think that some of the single notes got cleared at time of writing, so I'm gonna go off of vibes and say that this is a New Capenna-based card? The final verdict is that this card's really sweet with a whole lot of power on the Casino Floor side that makes me want to up the cost of it for sure. Looting every turn—especially optional looting—is far more powerful in some decks than others, and if you can get it off then you're in for a wild ride. Getting your worst cards swept away as early as turn two (and then on and on) in limited? Hoo boy. It's not advantage strictly speaking, I'll give you that, but it's definitely more than I'd be comfortable with at limited for that cost.

Turn two, drop the Floor, turn three, unlock the Vault and maybe play another card, or you can save your mana for the next turn having discarded a card to the Floor to get a seven-drop that you looted into on turn four. That's kinda nuts. REALLY nuts. Consistent for sure. And I don't think that I hate that play pattern in general but I feel like we should just up the cost of the Floor or change SOMEthing about it to balance this out. Again, I like it a lot, I know that it's good—I have also been burned many a time by early consistency enough that I know when to pump the brakes. Quick note on the flavor, though: I love it, and I like the "two sides of the city's underbelly" vibes that you're going for. Great precedent, great feeling of exploration.

~

@hypexion — Plague Vats / Necrogen Silo

I'm not sure exactly what format you'd be designing for, but I don't envision any standard set that would have the Room type, proliferate, wither, and Phyrexian mana all on the same card. There are a lot of decent ideas that are going into this card, sure—wither with the Silo before a strategic unlocking of the Vats, and you're good to go. I'm not strictly opposed to the one-off of old mechanics that they've added before, like having wither appear on cards like Massacre Girl from MKM. You're asking a lot more with this mashup than I think would ever be reasonable for a premier set.

I get the gist of the flavor, though, so I'll extend the play feelings to say that it's totally fine for a Phyrexian room choice to have these both in the, uh... Whatever the black sphere was, the Dross Pits? It's been a while since I've really gone into Phyrexian lore again. The Vats are what create the poison, sure, and your creatures use the Silo's feeding tube things to go ham on the counters. As for why the wither part has the Phyrexian mana, that part also confuses me a little, but maybe we don't really need an excuse for cost reductions, I dunno. Still, we've yet to hit the middle ground of appropriate mechanics to premier guidelines. What would be the main ones that would belong in this set, anyway? Curious what you had in mind.

~

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Dressing Room / Center Stage (JUDGE PICK)

"I'M GETTING READY," screams the Questing Beast from the dressing room, hurriedly finding six matching pairs of earrings before you send it out to the spotlight for our opening number of Spamalot! or whatever. Let's be real, this one is just plain fun to get together, and I don't think there was a plane attached but I could see this card on multiple fronts. Bloomburrow could be a funky little community to see squirrels in drag, or maybe it's still Duskmourn where someone is forced into being puppeteered in the spotlight. Eldraine and its players would be just fine, or the glamor of New Capenna, etc. Lots of ways for this card to really shine.

The comparison to Innkeeper's Talent is where we're at right now, of course, but that hardly matters because this card's going a completely different direction. Lure effects aren't the strongest, or at least they don't seem to be against more removal-based strategies. I personally love them, though, and they can really clump a board together to swing in for lethal when you have the opportunity. Having a creature with deathtouch is the funniest option, of course, but after a few turns of getting dressed up, you're good to swing. Maybe this was intended to be more serious. I don't read it that way! I'm getting into the levity of this card and the power that beefing up creatures in both limited and constructed can offer you.

~

@levelzeo — Forgotten Observatory / Mad-Man's Study

I've been thoroughly impressed with how folks have chosen to expand upon how Rooms can be designed for this contest. Like with this card, having two full-unlock triggers changes how you'd want to use these rooms, the order, what would benefit you, etc. And it makes me want to see what the rest of the room cycle would look like, and it makes me want to design some in this vein myself! And looking at how the Observatory would flow into the Study, how the two doors would answer one or another depending on what you choose to explore first in terms of knowledge... Really neat stuff.

I think there's a small issue in that once they unlock, there's no static ability or reason to keep these rooms around. It turns room functionality into more sorcery-like cards than enchantments in my opinion? I mean that in the sense that once you unlock the rooms, they become permanents with no board functionality, and that's kind of a mechanical feelbad. But there are workarounds, probably. Not sure what they would be but there are potential workarounds. The only other wording tweaks would be with how replacement effects are worded. It can be interpreted in the first room that if it's fully unlocked, you wouldn't surveil because the "instead" would replace it all. The wording could be: "When you unlock this door, surveil 2. Then if this room is fully unlocked, draw two cards. Otherwise, draw a card." (Little clunky, but it's clearer.) For the Study, the only change would be "...create two of those tokens instead."

~

@melancholia-ennui — Karok Pen / Mulch Heap

I think I like what you've done with the costs here. From RNA and GRN, I was a huge fan of the hybrid-and-multi variable costs, and it works well with targeted destruction vs. life-draw. I guess the fact that the Heap isn't actually hybrid is throwing me off a little bit? Maybe it's supposed to be splashier, but this card can't actually go into just black or just green or those colors; it's a false hybrid. With the complications of the effects themselves, I'm not sure if that was the best choice for how to cost this card. Why limit the perceived variability?

As for the Karok pen, there are a few weird cost-oriented ideas getting thrown around this contest, and while I grok it I don't think that's the way to go. "Unlocking this room costs {2} more unless you've sacrificed a creature or gained life this turn" could've been fine, or you could've just had a sacrifice, or just the life benefit—one of the things instead of both with all that text. Additionally, on the Heap side of things, you really wanna watch out for multiple card draw effects in these colors. Morbid Opportunist is good enough as it is. While this is a five-mana enchantment, landing this card in even a marginally good deck can lead to a massive uptick in card advantage that's hard to come back from. Maybe narrow that down a bit. I feel that this card's a great Witherbloom case, but could be simplified for sure for ease of access.

~

@misterstingyjack — Explorer's Memorial / Hall of Expeditions (JUDGE PICK)

The ambition is excellent and the card groks to me. I'm seriously torn with the Hall of Expeditions side in a way that I want to talk about first, because I honestly can't think of any other card that's worded like this. And it makes sense to me! I think that ultimately it would flow better if it just triggered without the cost, but like, having that option to pay {3} is a unique and fascinating option to get around the potential for splashing the Hall of Expeditions in other decks. The only other question becomes: is there a cleaner way to word this? And I don't know if there is, or at least I can't think of one off the top of my head. It's honestly fascinating, and a great addition both to Lorehord's ambitions and to a wording arsenal.

And of course, the Memorial is great as well, both for the ability to get things back and trigger various Lorehold things, and just as a limited white card. What was the other one, Silverquill? Silverquill was one of the schools that I liked playing a lot, honestly, but I might've splashed for the Hall if I'd opened this. There's a lot to love about how these ones play together. Impulsive draws are pretty strong and recursion is as well. I think that if we really got back to Strixhaven, rooms would be a good fit. This was a solid choice of card for sure!

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@real-aspen-hours — Faulty Airlock / Relic Storage

There is a LOT of text on this card, and as a text submission I can see where things might've gone awry... Both sides would be totally fine as their own enchantments, and together they would be a fine combination. You can already see where the text issues come into play. I don't think I have to speak to the synergy because, as a room, I like both of these. Exiling cards from someone's hand is very fun, and impulsive drawing is fun, and getting to ping from exile-casting is fun as well. Relic Storage especially makes me love playing cards like Bonehoard Dracosaur et. al. because of my main red strategies.

The flavor of the Airlock and Storage together as a sci-fi theme/homage, like the other airlock card in general, hasn't won me over in terms of vibes. At a certain point I actually thought that this was more of a Lorehold card. Frankly, I would've been far more friendly towards it had it been Lorehold-oriented. That doesn't stop this card from being so text-filled that it makes it difficult to defend, though. Each half of this card groks fine by itself, I want to emphasize that. When making Room considerations, the complexity that you put into it (especially if you were looking for two triggers—like, that's asking a lot...) is going to add up to the point where it's best to go back to the drawing board and consider the simplest way to make these interactions viable.

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@sparkyyoungupstart — Orchestra Pit / Center Stage

I will give you this: the left side of this card made me giggle aloud and say "alright then." Imagine the kind of power you have to make another person genuinely smile, and then I'll use a similar power to tap the sign that says "Designing For Standard" on it. Goad has, to the best of my knowledge, never appeared in a standard-legal set, because it's an ability designed for multiplayer formats. And I don't think that it's a poorly designed card by any means—in fact, my gut says that this would be an immaculate signpost for a D&D-world-themed draftable Commander Legends kind of set. WR bards as an archetype? Yes, 100%, maybe even Jeskai bards.

Gameplay-wise, I'm a huge exalted fan, of course. Stacking exalted triggers is a joy to behold and adding them up for a big swing is pretty awesome when the bards' power supports one big maestro. The actors all rushing to center stage feel great as a swell in the music compels a group to magically attack, even if they don't have the power of the bards on their side. That's just what being an actor is like, right? Powerful one-use unlocks are a great design choice. If this wasn't a standard contest, then yeah, I'd be more than happy to put you in first chair. I've said my peace about the rest of this card, so let's just stick with the good notes.

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@tanknspank — Empty Kennels / Grooming Parlour

I love this silly little implication that Gremlins are more dog-like than anything. I'm also going to assume that this is a common or uncommon room? I'll go with common, honestly. Sorry about not editing in the room rarities there, but that would've been way too much to do with the limited time that I had. I shouldn't even be writing this now, I have to go to work soon! All the same, though, I think this is a perfectly fine multicolored common. Ultimately, I'm glad that Duskmourn didn't go in that direction, because I like the rooms as they are, but if this space was explored, this would probably be the way to do it.

Getting the small tokens to get bigger is just what the RW archetype wants to do, and making some tokens is probably more limited but I'mma go with red aggro variants (sacrifice, maybe?) as the next best place for it. White's been astonishingly powerful this set, and adding some counters has proven to be quite strong. Hasn't this effect on the right been done in another common white room? I'm remembering something similar, but regardless. Flavorfully, of course, this is a really lighthearted card, and I like the fact that unlocking the kennels releases the "hounds." Overall, I think this card is as solid as it needs to be for the archetype, even if it's not the most exciting; I feel that this kind of mechanical space has been explored well enough with rooms, honestly. Still, I'd play it in the multicolor archetypes as they would show up.

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@wildcardgamez — Music Classroom / Art Classroom

Look me in the eyes and tell me what the heck is happening here. And, well—I'll be honest, I'm just impressed with how well-formatted this looks for a card that's an absolute menace to get through. Gameplay-wise, this is honestly pretty perfect for spellslinging decks. You get bodies, you get advantage, you can play the long game, it rewards a pure spell-oriented build without taking up space, etc. That part is pretty amazing. Also keep in mind you have a card with three different activated abilities and also three triggers, two of which you have to stack when you Magecraftify them. Do you see where things would get complicated?

I want to emphasize that I want to love this card. I also want to emphasize that it's a card that would probably never be printed because of the thousand things that it does. Like, I'd play this in one of my Pioneer decks immediately, slot it in, 100%. I'd first-pick it in a limited pool. But it's far too complex for isolated design. I don't think there would necessarily be a way that I'd want to change it, too, and that's another issue that affects me personally! Well—no, okay, there are a few wording things on the right side. For one, you can just say that the Elemental token is "with haste" instead of giving it temporarily. For two, the second activation should be "until end of turn," which is...a lot of text, yeah, but it's necessary. The last thing that I'll be a grump about is the fact that the names are not very interesting at all. Yeah, the "class room" pun is very funny, but c'mon, they deserve better than just "Music Classroom" and "Art Classroom." How could you jazz those up without painting broad strokes?

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@xenobladexfan — Expansive Library / Secret Bunker

We're in a little bit of a pickle here. I like the flavor of the Library, but don't see its mechanical applications on Duskmourn for the survivors there. I also like the mechanics of the Bunker, but want to tweak them a little to be slightly more useful. And together, I don't think these halves necessarily feel cohesive. What does one side do for the other necessarily? Not every room has to go hand-in-hand, of course, so I'll give you card advantage as a good enough reason for the Library to have its tutelage. Turn three, you can do whatever you need, maybe cast an Eerie survivor of sorts.

The Bunker makes me want to tweak it a lot by itself. Having creatures be hexproof and indestructible upon entering only matters if your opponent has instant-speed removal that they want to fire off on the turn that something enters, and that's not strong enough of a delay to justify that. Maybe it also works with haste creatures, whatever—that's not relevant here. I think one option could be: "As long as it's not your turn, tapped creatures you control have hexproof and indestructible." It plays into the Bunker theme of hidden creatures staying hidden. Maybe it doesn't even need to grant indestructible? I think that it might unfortunately get too much into the Wandering Rescuer's space, but that's just one option. Either way, I wish there was an elegant marriage of these rooms. Making me think and tinker, though—that's still signs of strength!

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@yd12k — Hidden Grave / Compost Bin (JUDGE PICK)

This card is garbage. Yummy! There's some world with Saprolings, of course, but which world would have one that's also got... In the middle of this sentence I remembered the Golgari. Right! So that's settled, maybe, unless you had something else in mind. I think that if we do go that route, I like the dial flavoring wherein you could have a Hidden Grave that belongs to the Dimir and a compost bin that belongs to the good old Selesnya, but the combination results in a Golgari-themed card that plays into multiple strategies across the guilds. That kind of smoothness is super cool to me.

Sometimes the text variability is a little jarring, but edict effects plus self-mill effects that could trigger off of the sacrifice work so well together. I feel that the "If you do" could've been replaced with an "and" and a continuation of the sentence, with the milling just contingent upon whether or not you exiled something, an "if you can't" down there instead of "Otherwise." Maybe that would be a little more complicated, I'd have to ask players who are less grokable-oriented. This still groks, FWIW, in a fantastic way, and I think that this is an overall smooth-as-granite card. It feels cohesive, fantastical, centered, and you love to see how it works together. Great job overall!

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@yourrightfulking — Singing Chapel / Echoing Mausoleum

I think that I like this card overall, kind of. The symmetry is reasonable, if a little bit predictable. The adjective "Singing" is throwing me off. The ability, though, is really great for a rare, and these abilities are pushed without being too crazy. A 2/2 every turn can be awesome for sacrifice effects, and the two of these abilities feed into each other in ways that are absolutely nasty. Is it too much? Unlocking the Mausoleum first then getting into the Chapel is the right strategy for sure—so much so that I think the black side should be on the left, honestly.

I'm not a huge fan of the double mana symbols on both of these cards. You want them to be able to trigger together, and they're not so highly costed that it's okay to be stuck on one for a while. Having the more powerful Mausoleum be BB and the Chapel being, like, 3W could be reasonable to me? I want to play both halves of these cards together in my Innistrad limited Aristocrats deck. I want the ability to do that smoothly. This card currently makes me unable (most likely) to do that with a one-two turn basis despite the low costs. Argh! But that's an easy fix by getting the costs evened out to what they need to be, and then you're in for a massive rare clock, which is exactly what this card wants to be. I think I'm giving this card a tentative thumbs-up because it's so close to being exactly how I'd want it to work on-board.

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There we go! Have fun revealing this week. @abelzumi