#assignmenence ….essays….exams even…projects
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College me will never know how good xe had it. All I want to do in the whole wide world right now is spend the whole day at the library. And what do I have to do instead? Go to Work!!
#reading yea sure but also assignments I would do them happily#please please please let me back innnnnnn I need conference style discussions of texts I’m reading and art I’ve seen or I’ll die!#assignmenence ….essays….exams even…projects#it’s funny I do really stimulating work but my brain feels like it’s melting like how you feel when you don’t exercise for a long time#but also like I’m reading I’m writing (ish) I’m trying to keep myself busy but the existential boredom drifts in#my old old enemy which plagues#I think I need to exist only in the context of academic rigor or I’ll die or my brain will feel itchy forever idk#I’m not even smart man I think it’s just my specific confluence of neurodivergences#but whatever it’s fine it’s whatever I’m carrying sylvia plaths poetry around with me like a baby blanket#and listening to weird unhinged opera scenes cause I went down a specific theater y rabbit hole of madness#and one day I’ll exist in a place again where I can ask people who know more than me and want to use it what the hell the no#the novikov self consistency principle is in its greater context cause I’m balls deep in the Wikipedia page for it and this shit sounds insa#insane anyone anyone give me papers on it
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