#at a time playing with her (bc mum won't help) and I don't mind doing that but also sometimes I'm out or tired and she has a Lot of energy

[lexicals]

Swear to god I don't know why I ever try to bring anything up with that woman it's never a good idea but every time I'm like "what if this time I'm not immediately told I'm wrong". Call me either an optimist or a fool

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Okay, I only have so much to go off of right now but I couldn't wait to make a 'playlist', so bear in mind that these are more vibes focused and might not be accurate, but here are some songs 'hearing problems' makes me think of (that are pretty thematic to the old-timey pirate setting, honestly):

Song - artist (who/what the connection is)

Tale of the Shadow - Sail North (Helena or Karimi)

Siren's Song - Brave the Sea (Helena)

Sea of Thieves - Stormfrun (Lyon, Janx, Shanks, just all around pirate adventure song)

Scalliwag - Gaelic Storm (suits so many things. Pirate adventures. Running away. Romancing. References being known by the music you play)

Bitter Water - the oh hellos (Karimi X mihawk)

Dear fellow traveller - Sea Wolf (Karimi X Mihawk)

Boreas - the oh hellos (one of my fav songs right now, kind of Karimi, I think?)

Liar - the Arcadian Wild (idk man, angst)

All I've ever known - Hadestown (Karimi X Mihawk, from both of their perspectives)

Habits - Genevieve stokes (Karimi. The song repeats a chorus about "you go and I'll stay, it's always right person and wrong way, I hate to be right please tell me I'm wrong, please tell me I'm wrong" begging to be wrong about it this time but knowing that she won't be because it's still the same story over again, which fits Karimi and her father, Karimi and her grandma, and could be Karimi begging that this time she's wrong about it with Mihawk. Also the other verses could fit Karimi pretty well I think)

Bones in the ocean - The Longest Johns (or Vampirate Odessa for a female cover) (idk just something about desparately searching for the people you lost and thought you failed at the cost of yourself only for them to save you and tell you to live)

Also, any Crane Wives song, but in particular; never love an anchor, safe ship harboured, allies or enemis (all Mihawk X Karimi), Here I am (Karimi and Lyon), Icarus, Ribs, Tongues and Teeth (all Karimi)

And the best for last;

Inkpot Gods - the Amazing Devil

Oh my GOD the Karimi ANGST this song gives. (Also a touch of Mihawk X Karimi bc it's sung by a male and female voice)

"what you hear isn't laughter after all, it's just your voice learning for once to stand up tall" (male voice)

"and if she doesn't have the will, but it seems the whole world does, I'll stay because I'll be the man my father never was" (male voice)

"and what you hear is not silence, it's just the trees waiting to hear what next you'll hum" (female voice)

"And to those gods I will speak bluntly.... Please rest assured that you might not fear a man, but to a woman by the end you'll kneel and plea, cause I'm more than what my mum taught me" (female voice)

"And I can hear her sing, and I know she's given up, and I don't know what to do, how to help her, how to bring her home" (male voice)

"And I can hear him break, and he doesn't understand, and I wish that I could take his hand but where I'm going is for me and me alone" (female)

"And I can hear her singing, "if I don't make it back from where I've gone just know I've loved you all along"" (male voice, then female voice joins in and they harmonise together to sing the promise)

I haven't been able to listen to all of them yet, but the ones I have, (Tale of the Shadow, Siren's Song, Sea of Thieves, Dear Fellow Traveler, Boreas, Inkpot Gods), and on all of the above, very much yes, yes, yes.

Also thank you for the new shanties, I love sea shanties so much it's stupid 😍🙏❤️❤️

I HAVE to spotlight Bones in the Ocean, because it was already my song for Lyon. The firefight with the Marines that killed Karimi's mother also destroyed his first ship and killed the majority of his crew (fifteen apart from himself before the battle). The admiral overseeing the Marine warship was Vesper, who already had his suspicions that Lyon was Helena's child (the family resemblance is STRONG) and had every intention of either taking him alive for questioning or killing him if he refused to surrender, but Garp was also aboard the ship as the second in command. The entire crew, including his infant daughter, likely would have perished if Garp hadn't intervened. Ended up knocking out Vesper with a good strong left hook to the temple, calling for ceasefire, and letting Lyon and the handful of surviving crew (Janx, the cook Wren, the navigator Hizashi, and the doctor Clara) escape on a dinghy. They were luckily not far out from the next island their Log Posse was pointed toward. Garp was put on probation for a year for insubordination, and the incident left Vesper fiercely suspicious of Garp; ultimately Vesper found the coordinates for Conch Cove due to this suspicion years later, on searching through Garp's office while both were stationed at Marineford. Lyon doesn't know every detail where Garp is concerned, only knows that Garp was on the Marine ship, which definitely did not help their already rocky relationship. Lyon still thinks about that day a great deal, still has nightmares about it, everyone he lost, everything he could have done differently to prevent it. All those bones in the ocean.

Plot a course to the night to a place I once knew, To a place where my hope died along with my crew, So I swallow my grief and face life's final test,To find promise of peace and the solace of rest

Now that I'm staring down at the darkest abyss, I'm not sure what I want, but I don't think it's this, As my comrades call to stand fast and forge on, I make sail for the dawn 'til the darkness has gone

He easily would have plunged into unbridled grief if it hadn't been for the responsibility of his child and Janx dragging him out of the abyss.

My own song for Mihawk and Karimi is "Medusa in Chains" from The Fratellis (been hyperfixating on this band for going on four months, no idea why but they fuel my writing and I'm not questioning it). Mihawk having been a lone wolf for so long, valuing control over his life and himself above all other things, and suddenly this annoying little brat is making him feel things, and he just doesn't know what to make of it. His desire to remain in control is in combat with a newfound want to let go and just let the chips fall where they may. The entire ordeal is injuring his pride. Keeps telling himself that she's nothing more than his property, a tool, but as much as he wants to keep things impersonal, he finds it harder and harder not to be intrigued by her.

Eyes wide, tongue tied, she replied, "I'm lost inside"

I'm not your miracle man, I'm not your spirit guide, Before this whole thing began I had some sense of pride, Just one more night with your lips, your company is hard to eclipse

Weak-kneed, yes indeed, guaranteed, Make my heart bleed

Give me a reason to breathe, don't let my sun go down, I'll make you stand and recieve, I'll be your sacred ground, Be my Medusa in Chains, petrified, Only your beauty remains

Just try your best to forget how I once made you crawl, Just one more swing of your hips, I love the way your confidence slips

You should be outlawed, Dear God, Every single breath I applaud

Aaaaaand while I haven't explored their dynamic in the fic yet (but will be a few chapters down the road), there's also "Laughing Gas" by The Fratellis where the mentor-student/father-daughter relationship between Shanks and Karimi is concerned. He really genuinely cared about her and didn't want to see her leave the crew, felt like she's much too young to be bearing the burdens that she's been saddled with by herself, but she insisted that her goals were something she had to deal with alone.

In your own sweet time you'll see, Your neuroses unwind, There'll be no rain on your parade, There'll be no devils on your mind

So, darling, break out the laughing gas, You and I know this joke soon will pass, Give me your last request, And I'll see what I can do, To paint your grey skies blue, Before I pass, That's all I ask, Break out the laughing gas

Take all your ideals and well told tales, I know a prayer that never fails, Don't hold your breath, you dreamed this dream well, Just click your heels and you'll soon break this unholy spell, This hell, is only a story you tell

So, break out the laughing gas, Let go, let this soap opera be your last, Set all these fools on fire, Why should you not have all that you desire

I've got so many more it isn't even funny, but I'm leaving it with this for now or I'm going to be here all night.

Also I may end up reblogging and replying to this again once I've listened to the rest of the songs, music is as big a thing for me as writing so I'm king of squealing about this entire ask, like thank you so much for sending this 😭❤️

[hitaka5ever]

When I got home last night, I was talking to mum for a bit while I had dinner, and something came up where she wanted to tell me something my dad had asked her while they ran errands together

DO NOT REBLOG! DO NOT REBLOG!

Context first: When I first came out as trans to my dad (we were playing cards with my aunt that day) he had the typical reaction of "but you're my daughter" yadda yadda (I don't remember exactly what he said since it was so long ago, but that was the gist of it) Over time, with my mum referring to me as Rocky and using he/him all the time, he gradually started doing the same thing simply bc he was getting used to hearing her say it (he even corrects himself when he uses the wrong pronouns, like he did the other night) My mum also said it sounds wrong for her to deadname and misgender me now, so she catches herself often and is getting a LOT better (funnily enough, my dad changed his speaking towards me faster than mum did lol)

Anyway, a while back, my dad saw my name and gender change form sitting out, and that's how he found out I was legally changing my name and gender (bc I hadn't found the right way or the right time to tell him properly) I know he saw it bc I was coming out of the hallway to get something from the kitchen as he was leaving, and I heard him muttering something about "getting out of my house". I was confused at first, but then I saw the form I filled out sitting out in plain sight. He even once made an offhand comment when I was talking to his mother (my grandma) about the article I wrote for the paper, where I basically came out as trans to everyone that read it. He said "yeah and tell her what name you're changing yourself to", which was another sign that he knew

Dad never said anything to me directly about it after half a year since he saw the form, but whichever way it came up yesterday, he asked my mum "why does Rocky want to change his last name away from mine?"

The way mum described it, its clear this information about my name has been on his mind for a long time, but since he has very little life skills (no communication is his worst trait) he doesn't know how to talk to me directly about it. So he figured the best way to ask about it is to ask my mum since he had to spend several hours with her running errands

My mum told him about how I don't feel connected to his family at all, and she gave him reasons why, which included how bigoted and disapproving they seem about mum, my sisters, and I in general. He seemed to understand it enough, but at some point he and I will have to sit down and talk about it properly with my own words. It helps that he has that little bug in his ear at least, so I hope our conversation (with mum as mediator) won't be too difficult

I want people to understand that I have nothing against my dad. Aside from being ignorant with some things and being verbally abusive to his kids for years (he's not super bad anymore) he still cares about me and loves me, even if he hasn't been the best dad. For a while I've tried not to let it get to me, knowing how he was raised and not knowing HOW to change himself bc of that, and it has helped a lot, so I'm not changing my last name bc of him. Mum got him to understand that its bc of the rest of his family that I don't want this last name anymore (bc it just hurts me in the long run)

With what little relationship I have with my dad, I don't want to lose it entirely. He's a million times better than the rest of his family (aside from one niece and her family, his family is all ReTrumplican) and I could never truly hate or despise him the way I do his family. If I leave one day, I'd still like to stay in touch with him, even if its just through holidays and his birthday

I'd like to add more, but I'm getting very emotional and crying just thinking about all of this (bc I feel guilty, even though I know I shouldn't be) so I'll leave it like this

TLDR: Dad asked mum why I wanted to change my last name away from his and she gave him some reasons about his family being bigoted and disapproving. He understands a little now, but we'll have to have a longer conversation about it later

PS: I think after I asked my dad "why do you have to be so mean to her (my mum)?" when mum had a mental breakdown after he yelled at her over a simple question, that its given him pause and has made him reflect on a lot of things. Him knowing I want to change my name has made him start to think more too, he just doesn't know how to communicate with mum and me about stuff that bothers him/is stored up in his feeble brain. I hope when we have our (very difficult) conversation together soon that it ends with more understanding and better lives