nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Update 8 Jun 2025

Hey. I'm, uh, still alive. Still lurking. Just. Life isn't really going very well right now.

Thanks to everyone for the kindness and concern, to all the new followers. I'm still here. I will be back and posting again at some point. But not sure when that will be. I'm sorry I can't offer much more than that right now. I wish I could.

Apologies in particular to @unkamensoul . You're still my bestie, I still love you, I still appreciate you checking in, I'm just really incapable of communicating with anyone right now.

I'm trying to get better and do better. Just having a lot of trouble with that.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

small update 25 Feb 2025

Thank you to the incredibly kind moot who dropped a donation in my ko-fi to help with cough medicine. Couldn't get any tonight (small town, stores had already been closed an hour) but SO will be picking some up for me tomorrow. You're a lifesaver and you're wonderful and I 😭❤️❤️❤️🫂

Have spent the past handful of hours going in and out of consciousness between nonstop coughing. Am now so sore I can barely move, head is pounding, and shivering so bad its hard to type. SO brought the thermometer to take my temp last time I woke up and fever went back up. He also located more cough drops (I thought we were out). Trying ibuprofen this time because Tylenol stinks and almost never works on me.

Kind of delirious. Need to be up in two hours to get son ready for school.

I hate this. Just wanna go one or two months without getting sick.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Update 24 Feb 2025

Not getting our hopes up, but our federal refund should be here within the next three days. It's been approved.

Also I'm sick again. Was barely over Covid. Started with a slightly worse cough (covid cough never went away entirely despite everything else clearing up last month) this morning. This evening I can't inhale a full breath without going into a painful coughing fit and I'm consuming cough drops like candy. Low grade fever. I feel like I could pass out for twelve hours straight but I can't stop coughing long enough to fall asleep.

I want to cry but it would just make me cough more.

Hooray.

Can't even afford cough medicine right now. I at least have Tylenol for the fever, and I've got enough chamomile left for two more cups of tea. Here's hoping that's enough to help knock it out.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Update 18 Feb 2025

Good news: Our 5G box got here today. We had to jump through some hoops because the UPS driver couldn't find our house this morning, and when he did the road was blocked by construction work so he couldn't get through, but he was still in the area this evening and we were able to get him back out. The 5G internet is just as fast (if not faster) than our old service so far, and it took less than five minutes to set up.

Bad news: We got a flat tire going to pick up our son from school 😑 If it can be patched we should be able to afford it. If it has to be replaced, we're going to be stuck on a spare donut for a little while.

Win some, lose some. I'm just glad our internet issues are sorted.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Wanna know something funny?

You know how Google changed "Gulf of Mexico" to "Gulf of America?"

Well, its own AI service disagrees.

I'm not saying everyone should use screenshots of Google's own AI to offer negative feedback of their "Gulf of America" search redirection, buuuuut

No actually I'm saying exactly that. Use mine if you like.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

The Cheeto Administration is apparently learning the divine rule of FAFO (fuck around and find out).

"You're fired so Elon Musk the government can have more money"

"Wait no come back we didn't mean it"

"..........fuck."

I bet these two were cackling the entire time they were working on this article. I know I would have been.

I'd love to think this might make them rethink what they're doing, but that would require the individuals responsible to have the capability of intelligent thought.

And now the probationary employees who were let go in the first place, IF they come back, won't have enough faith in their jobs to want to stay there.

I DON'T knock this particular individual for returning to work—she did lose her job unexpectedly, and everyone has to be able to pay their bills. Unemployment is notoriously slow in delivering on claims, and TANF can be even slower.

But I hope when she finds a new job, she gives the government as little notice as they offered her, and flips them the bird on the way out the door.

This is proof that these terminations are going to cause more harm than good, not just for the people but ALSO for the government, for the entire country as a whole.

What a time to be alive.

Full original article:

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Update 15 Feb 2025

Our state tax return came in two weeks early.

Which never ever happens. I checked it on a whim just to see if it was approved yet, and it was approved and sent out the same day.

Guys I nearly cried.

Not enough to pay off bills, but it was enough to put a good dent in them and keep us afloat until our federal refund gets here later in the month.

Now to hope the good news keeps up and SO is able to get the job this coming week. Fingers crossed 🤞

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

This would be hilarious, except for the fact that there are an exceptional number of people in this country who (a) do NOT understand what checks and balances are or how they work and (b) think that the president holds authority over all other branches of government.

The reason Musk is mad is the exact reason checks and balances exist—to keep any one branch, or any one individual, from holding TOO MUCH power. If one branch or individual is making irrational decisions that could hurt the country, it's the job of the other branches to stop them.

This proves that, at least for now, the Constitution is working exactly like our founders intended for it to work.

Executive orders are not laws, and the president holds no power to amend the Constitution without the approval of the rest of the government. Period.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Also worthy of note,

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Something something "white oppression," something something something "'MURICA!"

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I kind of want to fire up my laptop and try to do art for the first time in months

But

I don't wanna deal with the five thousand software updates it probably needs to perform 🫥

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

"Back the way you came" is a classic place to direct folk who ain't from 'round these parts.

“From whence you came” is a classic place to send back a foul beast

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Update 14 Feb 2025

So I'm not going to lose my internet, and the reason is incredibly weird.

Our current internet IS going to be shut off. We called to try to work out an extension, but that didn't pan out.

Five to ten minutes after the disappointing (but expected) phone call, there was a knock on our door.

Was a door to door Verizon representative offering free trials for Verizon 5G internet service in our area (where our present internet service has had a monopoly for several years).

Thirty day free trial to ensure we like it, AND it's half the price of our current internet service. Price is locked for at least five years; whereas our current service has gone up ten to fifteen dollars every year since we started it.

The 5G box will be delivered within three days. Our current service is due to be shut off in four days.

Incredibly weird coincidence. Absolutely NOT complaining, though. Not losing internet, and I'm completely game potentially getting better service for half the price we've been paying. Seems for bow that luck was actually on our side for once.

Also SO heard back after his last job interview, and will be having his second interview with upper management next week. They already said it was mostly a formality and they're planning on hiring him once that's done with. Tax returns are due to arrive at the end of the month. Things are slowly stabilizing. Still probably going to be a nervous wreck in the meantime, but good news for once is nice.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Contemplating how wonderful it would be to go to sleep and never wake up.

Instead I'm doing laundry and trying not to vomit or pass out from stress and sleep deprivation.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Keep your messaging simple:

“Trump fired everyone in charge of airplane safety, and a week later planes started crashing into each other.”

That’s it. That’s the messaging. Don’t get bogged down disputing Trump’s false claims. Just blame him, in short and repeatable sentences.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

update 11 Feb 25

Been a few days.

Just checking in to let everyone know I'm still alive.

Don't really want to be at this point, but here we are.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Update 06 FEB 25

I miss writing and I miss drawing and I miss creating and I miss having the actual will to do anything except continue to exist.

I want to finish my friends' commissions so I can accept new ones.

I want to finish my own unfinished digital art projects. I feel guilty every time I see a new reaction to a WIP I haven't touched in months.

I want to continue working on my fics. Flight Risk and Hearing Problems and Stawhat Stowaway and Blacksmith's Daughter. I haven't forgotten about any of them. I've gotten asks that I've felt too guilty to answer about them, but I promise I haven't forgotten about any of them.

That I haven't forgotten about any of you. I read through the fic requests I've received several times a week. I think about them constantly. I write and rewrite them in my head on a daily basis.

But the words won't go to paper. Fingers won't go to laptop keys. Pen won't go to drawing tablet.

But even when I'm not updating, I promise I haven't forgotten. I haven't forgotten any of you, and I won't forget any of you.

I don't want to disappear. I won't disappear. A writer is still a writer, an artist still an artist, a creator still a creator even when they don't have the ability to create outside their own mind.

I don't know when, but I know I will again. And I apologize if I don't end up updating fics or finishing art or answering your requests until after you've moved on to another fandom, but I will answer them.

I can't right now, but I'll try to keep holding on until I can.

For those of you that have stayed with me, and also to those that have been here before but might have moved on, thank you. Thank you so, so much. You've made my life better and helped me through some of my darkest hours, and I will always love you for it.

Thank you.

My asks are STILL always open to talk about or obsess or hyperfixate or vent about One Piece. It honestly brightens my day even when I don't have the energy to respond right away. And they're STILL open to new requests as well, and always will be.