#at least I got to practice expressions ayy

[intotheelliwoods]

hello hello peepaw multiverse! The polls that went around a bit ago really got me thinking about At My Worst’s Leo and his placement in the universe, honestly? I doubt the rest of the future Leos would take the guy seriously! Had to get this out of my system!

We got a part 2!

Leo Creds under the cut!

Apologies for the ping you all! Got to credit where credit is due, but while you are here, I would just love to say that all of your work is fantastic!!

AMW - @teainthesnow

T&E - @apatheticrobots

MNMC - @mutantninjamidlifecrisis

OMO - @threestripeslider

NQK - @tervaneula

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

I JUST FINISHED EPISODE EIGHT AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I

AM

NOT

OKAY

Y'all I teared up a lot but no tears have been shed yet lol. That's really because it hasn't sunk in yet xD.

Also, that's a lie, I finished the episode hours ago lol. I have since looked at hsmtmts posts and tiktoks, read a fanfic, and rewatched several scenes (mainly in the finale) xd. I was too in shock but I need to start this lol

First of all, I just- that was the perfect finale. Plenty of the show (looking at you season 2 /lh), satisfying ends for the couples (barely on Jetney but you know we take what we can get lol), amazing music, and everyone's staying together :'). I can't express how much this show means to me <3. I'll have a separate post where I'm SUPER sentimental, but right now I can have some too :'). Anyway, I loved the episode so so SO much <3333.

Nini - we missed you :'). You were the beginning, and you had an end that makes me tear up every time. I'm sure she's off doing the best of things - and hey, she asked Ricky to give them all their cards :')). I'm so proud of her, and so happy for her <33. You're the best, Nini :')) ❤️❤️😭🥰. I love her so much <3.

Emmy! She slayed as Taylor :'DD. And I'm just so happy she gets to continue to learn from Miss Jenn <333. And start to be an older sister as well, not just a younger one :'). She's going to be a leader in the drama department <3. And like Gina said, she's going to take over the world :'DD. I love her 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰.

Did Jet ever actually tell Kourtney xD. I don't know, but they seem to kinda have a Thing lol, so whatever <33 🥰. I'm proud of him either way :'D. And I'm so glad he's finally found a place where he's happy, where he has a family 😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰. He deserves it so much :'))). Also, he slayed as Chad :'DD! Anyway, yeah, I'm just really glad he's at East High now :')). And yeah, he could give Gina a run for money for intimidation x'D. I love him <3333.

BIG RED MIGHT HAVE A THING WITH ANTOINE???!?!!!?? HELLO?!?!!!? JUMPSCARE SHIP!!! BUT NOT IN A BAD WAY JUST T O T A L L Y WILD XDDD. Anyway, why was this man in curtain call lol??? I do not care, as he should be XDD. Also I'm glad he got to be the one to tell Seblos they deserved the trip - show there's not issues there :). Anyway! Still not over jow wild that Antoine reveal was xD. Mans isn't even French!! Anyway lol. Gina described Big Red perfectly - he loves people unconditionally :'). We've always seen that with Ricky, and it's just amazing <33. Like that scene with Ricky this episode (it demonstrates that but yes it as also amazing lol) 😭😭❤️🥰. That scene was so sweet :'DDD. LIKE THEY SAID I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER!!! I love them so much :')). Anyway, yeah, he was great <33. I love him 🥰🥰🥰❤️😭❤️❤️.

EJ GOT TO BE ON STAGE :'DDDD!!! WHOOOO 😭😭😭🥳🥳🥰❤️❤️❤️!!! I'm not okay :'D. He totally deserved that, and he did great :'D. Ayy he can have this next bit now!! He slayed playing Coach Bolton 🥰! :'DD Anyway, I'm so happy for him :'). Also Carlos calling him EJ with the pretty eyes was so correct actually xD. Unrelated lol but eh. ALSO THE FACT THAT EJ CARVED ASH AND MADDOX INTO THAT TREE TRUNK??!?!?? OH MY GOSH 😭😭❤️ XD. That is so iconic <3. And I loved his conversation with Miss Jenn - even if it hurt me to hear her tell him to call her Jenn 😭💔, it makes sense :'). He's an adult now <3. It's wild and it hurts me xd, but he is. Anyway, I think he gave some really great advice :')). AND AAAHHHHHHH Y'ALL OUR DREAMS CAME TRUE!!!! POSSIBLE EJ AS EAST HIGH DRAMA TEACHER REFERENCE!!! WHAT WE'VE ALL BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS :DDDD XDD!!! I love that for us LOL 🥰🥰🥰❤️. But seriously, I think he does at least become an assistant director in the future :'). And when Miss Jenn retires, he takes over <3333. I mean, it's even practically what Gina said about him x'd - he taught her about herself :'). I love him so much <333 😭❤️❤️❤️🥰.

Maddox being sad over Ashlyn is my personal death y'all 😭. Also the fact that they mutually confessed and then were just like "well, I guess the only option now is. . . to stay friends 😬😌😐👉👉" - you idiots xDD. And AAAHHHHHH MADISON SENDING THE BALLOONS FOR MADDOX TO GIVE TO ASHLYN 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️!!! OH MY GOSH I'M SO NOT OKAY <3333. Also I'm glad her and Madison are on good terms :')). ALSO THE HAND KISS!!! OH MY GOSH 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I love them <3333. Anyway, Maddox is just. Amazing :'). I'm so glad she was here this season <3. I love her :'DD ❤️❤️🥰🥰.

ASHLYN FINALLY KISSED MADDOX OH MY GOSH!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH :'DDDDD!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!! I'M NOT OKAY :DDDDD!!! They're so cute oh my gosh 😭😭😭❤️❤️. AND THE TREE TRUNK!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH OH MY GOSH ❤️😭😭😭❤️🥰. I'm not okay y'all <333. I love them so much :')). Also Ashlyn's reaction to Maddox leaving 😭😭😭💔❤️. I'm so glad she doesn't have to <3333 :')). I'm so happy for them :')) :'DD. Anyway :'). Ashlyn slayed playing Kelsi :'D! And what Gina said about her :'D - yeah :'). Ashlyn truly is the queen of changing her identity (I mean that in a good way lol), but also still being sure of her identity in between those times :')). I love her so much <333.

MR. MAZZARA AND MISS JENN ARE FINALLY TOGETHER :'DDDD!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥳🥳🥳🥳 WHOOOOOO!!!!! WHOOHOOO FINALLY :'DDDDD!!!!! My babeys 🥰🥰.

And about them separately lol, MR. MAZZARA GETS TO GO BACK TO NEW ZEALAND AND TRY AGAIN :'DDD!! I'm so happy for him :')). And while he slayed playing Coach Bolton, he slayed doing sound too :')). Also him being like "yeah I'm totally not doing so much right now" was great LOL. Honestly kind of a mood xD, though luckily that didn't happen to much to me on lights lol. Anyway, I'm just glad he was there supporting everyone and being amazing this episode :')). Always right there, helping them through it 😭😭❤️🥰. Also how he didn't HESITATE to rip up the letter lol xD. Iconic 😌. As always :'). I love him so much <3333.

MISS JENN'S STAYING!!!! WHOOOO :'DDD!!! She would've been amazing, but I'm so glad she's staying 😭❤️❤️. She's here for Emmy, and Jet and Maddox, and all of the Juniors who were OGs :')). And the second semester for the Seniors too!! She can keep being amazing for them <333 :'DD. Just like Gina said - she gets to be that mom for all of them, and teach them it's about creating something you love :') 😭😭😭❤️. And I just love that :'). She slayed playing Ms. Darbus :'DD. I love her so much <3333.

KOURTNEY AND MO!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOSH THE COMBO I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED!!!! That talk was EXACTLY what Kourtney needed 😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰. Also AAHHHH Kourtney's talk with Jet :'DDD. It was so amazing and sweet 🥰🥰. And AAHHHHH she felt happy at Lewis :'DDD!!! And it came to her mind immediately :'))). I'm so happy for her and proud of her <333. She really is one of, if not the, bravest people in the show <333. What she's done is no easy feat, it's DIFFICULT, with anxiety and without, and again, I'm just so proud of her :'))). Her anxiety storyline means so much to me and I loved it 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️. And yeah - she is the best fashionista xD. She slayed playing Sharpay 🥰🥰🥰🥰 :DD!! I love her so much <3333 ❤️❤️❤️😭🥰.

RICKYYYY HE SAID IT!!! HE DID IT!!! HE SANG THE THING 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰 :'DDD!! HE TOLD GINA HE LOVES HER :'DDDDDD!!!! I'm so proud of him :')). And AAAHHHHH one last "Am I too late?" :')). As it should be <33. Also, his speech to all of the was just- 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️💔 I'm not okay. I know that feels. Theatre is just like :'). And it makes me so emotional but it's just so accurate, and wonderful <33. Also, he slayed playing Troy :'D. AND AAAHHH THE RUN AND THE GUITAR!! AND THAT SONG WAS BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I'm so glad he got the chance :')). And Y E S I'm glad Ricky was the one to suggest where they go :'D - one more season 1 parallel :'). And just, what Gina said about him <33. It's so beautiful in a Rina sense 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️, obviously, but it extends beyond that. He's been the one to welcome, and include, and encourage, since pretty much the beginning :')). And I love that so much <333. Anyway, his reaction to not getting to tell Gina he loved her before the press conference hurt 😭😭. And YESSS Gina's mom finally approving :'D. He doesn't need it, but I'm glad he got it <333. Also, again, his scene with Big Red was amazing <333. Besties since the beginning :')). And continuing on <33. And of course, I loved how he was practicing saying I love you more to people :')). I'm so happy for him <333. I love him so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰😭.

GINA'S FILMING THE MOVIE IN SALT LAKE!!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :'DDDD!!! I'M SO GLAD :'DDD 🥰🥰🥰😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!! ALSO OVOEANOCMPW THE HAT????!!?! OH MY GOSH GIRL 😭😭❤️ XD. She slayed playing Gabriella 🥰🥰🥰. And oh my gosh, her SPEECHES 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔💔🥰🥰. I've already talked about what she said to everyone, but they were just all so so SO amazing. And I've heard some of that stuff said like that at senior speeches before, so it's definitely accurate xdd. But seriously, it was so emotional 😭😭. I know the cast was obviously SUPER emotional as well xd, but nonetheless, the acting was amazing <333. Superb :')). Gina has come so far, and learned so much, and I am just so, so proud of her, and happy for her <333. And I'm so glad she's staying at East High :'DDD. AND getting to do the movie still :')!! And again, the love song was BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰. And she slayed at that press conference lol. I love her so much <333.

Now, hey, I'm allowed to put Seblos last if I want to xDD. It's my finale post :')).

SEB'S DAD KNEW THE WHOLE TIME SLFKFHDKGS!!!! That's so amazing lol <333. Amazing as in it's funny and it's a good thing xD. But seriously that was so funny lol. I am disappointed we didn't get Seb on stage, like acting lol, but I'm glad he was there for curtain call :'DDD 🥰. Even if him and Big Red had no reason this-show-wise to be up there XDD. I'm just happy that he was :')). Also his run up to Carlos after talking about his dad and holding him was so cute 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰 stop I'm not okay <333. And AAAHHHHHH they get to go on their trip 🥰🥰. And again, I loved that their wasn't any animosity towards Big Red :'). But seriously that moment was so cute 😭❤️❤️. And honestly I loved what Gina said about him, especially after the cheating plot this season. Because he really is an angel, he is like a dog in human form lol xD, and he still sees the world pretty pure :')) 🥰. And I just think it shows that even though he made mistakes, he still is and does those things. He's still Seb <3333 😭❤️❤️🥰. And I think that was really needed for all of us :')). Also he went OFF in the limo LOL xD. He really said "step aside" with that belt xD. He slayed, so hard <333 🥰🥰. I love him so much <3333 🥰🥰❤️❤️.

CARLOS HAPPY AGAIN IS MY REWARD FOR THE FIRST SIX EPISODES!!!! XDD!! It keeps randomly hitting me that this is the Last Season, that although luckily we got happy Seblos at the end this is genuinely the last we're gonna see of them and I just- oh gosh that hurts 😭😭😭❤️. But again, their moment after the show (and the ones during curtain call 😭!!!) was SO CUTE AND AMAZING 😭😭😭❤️. Carlos slayed playing Ryan :'DD 🥰🥰🥰❤️. And he really is so funny x'DDD. It also makes me so happy that Gina talked about being co-choreographers with him :')) - something that started way back in season 2, but honestly season 1 unofficially <333. They've always had dance as a connection, and I'm just so happy they have that in each other :')). And I believe something similar to "we just kept dancing" was said at the Quinceñero, which :')))) 😭😭😭😭❤️🥰❤️❤️❤️. That kills me <3. Their friendship just means so much to me :')) :'D <333. Anyway :')). I love how he was kinda the one to set Miss Jenn and Benjamin (he deserves for me to call him by his first name at least once LOL xD) up xDD :'D <33. Like, he was the one who brought up the plane tickets and stuff :')). I mean, they were already pretty close to becoming a thing, but he showed us the audience the official moment of it lol, so I'm grateful for that xD. But that it was him, the one who was by Miss Jenn's side from day one :'), and even used to be enemies with Mr. Mazzara? Was the reason, or at least was half the subject of that scene lol, we met Mr. Mazzara :'DD? Perfect <333. Full circle :')). But yeah <3. I love him so much :'DD <33 ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰.

And a bit of specifically Seblos :'D. After everything they've been through this season, I'm so glad we got two episodes of them being adorable and mostly happy 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰. I mean, we had to deal with the Seb's dad stuff, but it was pretty good (like easy wise ish I guess? Like not too bad) and they were adorable :'D. AND THEY GET TO GO ON THEIR TRIP 🥰🥰🥰!!! I'm so excited for them :'D. Especially after they lived it LOL. Anyway, their moments during curtain call were amazing <333. And LOL SLFKGHJS their kiss going viral xDD. As it should 😌😌. Slay for them lol xD. Also, them running out of the school together 😭❤️❤️. I'm pretty sure they're holding hands in the first shot <3333. Also I love the lines they sing in Born to Be Brave :')). And AAAHHHHHH THEM BEING THE FIRST ONES TO START SINGING BESIDES RINA DURING LOVE YOU FOREVER 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰. AKCIEHSODNWP I LOVE THEM SO MUCH <33333.

Now, group moments :'))). CONGRATS ON A GREAT SHOW EVERYONEEE!!!! YOU ALL SLAYED INCLUDING MY ENSEMBLE AND BACKGROUND CHARACTER LOVELIES :'DDDDD <3333. What a great last curtain call :')).

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT RUN OUT TO GO SUPPORT GINA :'DDDDD!!! I LOVED IT SOOOO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!! IT WAS SO EPIC :'DDDD!!!!

And oh my gosh 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️🥰. ALL OF THEM SINGING LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!! I!! AM!! NOT!! OKAY!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰 I LOVE ALL OF THEM FOREVER <333333!!!!! It was so beautiful, the song and the scene and both our together :'DD. And all of them coming forward- oh my gosh 😭😭😭❤️🥰.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE RUN OUT OF THE SCHOOL :'DDDD 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰!!!! Once again, an epic and iconic moment 😭😭😭😭❤️🥰. I love them all so much :'D.

Y'all it is the way I was screaming (saying but the emotion was screaming) "DENNY'S!! GO TO DENNY'S!!!!"

AND

THEY

DID!!!!!!!!!!!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰 THAT WAS LITERALLY THE PERFECT ENDING 😭😭❤️❤️❤️💔🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333333 :'DDDD!!!!

And it wasn't just perfect as a nod to theatre kids, but it was a reference/parallel to Season 1, when Nini said: "Usually the theatre kids cry and then we go to Denny's." :'))). I love them all so much 😭😭❤️.

And don't even talk to me about Born to Be Brave :'DDD. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! THE PERFECT SONG TO END THE SERIES ON :'DDDDD 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰 <333333!!

And y'all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️💔💔🥰

FOR GOOD??!?!!!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I'm pretty sure that was just the cast, not the characters, and I just- it was so, so amazing 😭😭😭😭❤️💔🥰🥰. And goshdarnit it made me feel things xdd. As of this entire episode didn't have me as a wreck lol 🙄 xd xD. But seriously, it was SO GOOD, and it reminded me of the Beauty and The Beast announcement, as well as You Are The Music In Me from after Season 2 :'))). I just love this cast so freaking much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭💔💔🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰.

The music this episode was P H E N O M E N A L!!!!! It was all SO amazing and all so emotional too 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️. The cast are all such wonderful singers and the songs are all so well put together and beautifully written :')). I am so grateful for all of the amazing music of this show <3333. Don't even talk to me about any of the songs this episode, I'm still not okay over them :')). Special shout out to For Good for being most likely from the cast :')). And being one last reference, as it relates to Miss Jenn's offer <3. The meta show gets one more meta moment :'))) <3333.

This episode was so amazing. It was, quite possibly, the perfect finale <333. Obviously, I have things I wish happened, in this episode and in the season and show as a whole. But it told the story. And it told it well :')). It gave these characters an immensely satisfying ending, and, more importantly in this case? A happy one :'). They deserved that <333. And we deserved to be shown that we can. Especially theatre kids <33 ❤️. And still, amongst all these emotions, they still managed to make this episode HILARIOUS :'DDD. I can't with them, this show is too good xD. I LOVED THIS EPISODE SO, SO, SO, SO MUCH <33333 ❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰!!!!!!

It's been over 12 hours since I finished the episode. It's hit me a couple of times that this was it, but it hasn't truly sunk in yet xd. I don't know if it ever will lol. But, for this being it? It was an amazing way to go <333 ❤️.

This show means so much to me. I've been emotional and sentimental this whole time x'd, and as I've said, I'll make a separate post about this, but I have to say it here. I will never get over HSMTMTS. And frankly? I never want to :'). Thank you to everyone who made this show possible <333 - I am truly, truly grateful ❤️❤️❤️. Possibly more than you'll ever know :').

And thank you to this fandom. Whenever I think it's too crazy, or I'm not involved, you guys are there to remind me :'). Thanks for being my Wildcat family throughout all of this <3. It means so much to me ❤️.

What team?

Wildcats :').

What team?

Wildcats :'D.

Wildcats.

Getcha head in the game <3.

What an amazing season guys :')) <3 ❤️. I loved it :'D.

And that is the end of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series

I loved it <3

[yarichin-imagines]

can i get some toxic relationship headcanons with each of the boys? thank you <3

YARI GOT THIS SHIT.

AYY OUR FIRST COLLAB POST — admin bii

TW: toxic relationships, jealousy, gaslighting, mindbreak (reader getting used to/happy with toxicity), dubcon, hints of yandere, etc.

toono - insecurity

Toono just can’t seem to convince himself you truly love him. It leads to him closing off and pitying himself quite a bit. He treats the relationship like something else he’s bound to fuck up, and he shouldn’t get too attached. That leads to your relationship feeling half-baked.

kashima - jealous

Kashima is not paranoid! He trusts you 100%. It's everyone else he doesn't trust. He gets a little more than hot under the collar when he starts noticing you do nothing to stop guys from buying you drinks at a club— you accept the drinks! that you apologize to the perverts who grope you when the try to slide past you on a crowded metro, and blush when you catch them staring. Steam practically pours out of his ears. He will drag you by your wrist, his grip searing hot and twisting hard against the skin -- it hurts, but he's too angry to notice now. Doesn't matter if it's at school, at a club, and it doesn't matter if it's the morning, noon or night. He'll have you against something in seconds, muttering expletives, even going so far as to threaten live's if someone has the audacity to cozy up to you right in front of him. It's unfathomable, it's like nobody can see that you so obviously belong to him. After all, you're his girl. He's the one you come home to, the only one who gets to touch you, hold you, to fuck you, to see you in every state of mind, to see you break, and to see you cum. For him. Just for him. If he wasn't such a good fuck when he's all worked up, surely you'd have had the sense to leave him, but that just isn't the case with Kashima. . .

yacchan - communication issues

Yacchan can’t communicate, but it isn’t for a lack of talking. He has built up a wall after years of being inferior, so when someone tries to push the boundaries a bit and open him up, he gets very defensive. He gets hostile and sarcastic, even in his body language, moving as if he’s preparing to fight. He just can’t handle criticism because he’s been given so much shit through his life, he interprets criticism as hate and feels a need to defend himself. He doesn’t want to let anyone break down his walls that he has spent so long putting up to protect himself.

Shikatani - perfectionist

Shika doesn’t want anything to happen if he doesn’t know it’ll go exactly as he planned. All the dates need to go perfect or it ends with him in tears because he ‘fucked it all up’. Even if the mess up ends in you two having an equally great time, he can’t get over how it didn’t go perfectly. This also sort of plays into a lack of communication as he doesn’t want to bring up things that could cause arguments.

akemi - gaslighting

To be honest, it gets a little fuzzy trying to remember what life was like before Keiichi Akemi.

“Why worry about it?” he would always say. “I’ll take care of everything. Just don’t think about it, ‘kay?”

How could you refuse a life planned out for you down to the tee? Schedules were structure, and without structure, you’d definitely fall apart.

“What would you do without me?”

Please don’t leave me!

“If you don’t exercise, you’ll get fat again, like before. You don’t want to be fat again right?”

You’re right! I’m sorry!

“I’m only doing this because I love you, ya know.”

You don’t remember before, but you do know that nobody has ever loved you the way Akemi does now, nobody else loves you as much as Akemi does now.

And nobody ever will.

itome - lack of communication

While Yacchan and Shikatani have their own communication issues, Itome doesn’t communicate at all, mostly due to his crippling insecurity. He is silent most of the time, always defaulting to whatever you want to do. He just hopes that you won’t leave if he agrees to do what you want all the time. He gets so scared of losing you, he’ll end up crying late at night. If you notice and ask him what’s wrong, he violently insists he’s fine and nothing’s wrong. “It’s fine” is a catchphrase of his. This leads to a relationship in a stalemate where neither of you know if the other is genuinely happy.

yuri - disrespect (being late, “forgetting” events, unsupportive)

When it was three minutes past your reservation, you didn’t even notice. You weren’t even bothered when he forgot about your recital banquet, after all, he probably just got tied up with club logistics, a vice president does have a lot of responsibilities.

He never really saw the point of your artwork, but what was one opinion out of many? After all, yours was the one that mattered. Right?

At least he was looking at it, although, for extended periods at a time, with a puzzled expression, that would morph into a frustrated confusion before it transformed into complete disgust.

But so what?

Soon, he was a half hour late to reservations, an hour when the days were really bad. He started blowing off your showcases. And when you found the card you’d designed yourself for his birthday in the trash? Or overheard him describing your art as “kiddy! kiddy! ugly?” What were you supposed to do?

Flowers and orgasms were fine and dandy of course, but every anniversary forgotten and every piece you found hidden in a closet was just another knife to your chest, albeit a warning that went in one ear and out another.

tamura - controlling

"Absolutely not."

It has to be the tenth outfit you've presented for your boyfriend's approval, and despite your opaque tights (an improvement over the lace ones the last few 'fits) the dress is "still too short." If not the dress nor the tights, the heels are "too alluring" and your makeup is "too provocative."

Tamura takes it upon himself to pick your outfit and makeup, and unless you're putting on his own personal burlesque show, chances are the colors are neutral or non-flattering and the makeup is almost completely natural, truly.

Sometimes it's nice not having to worry, knowing you can sleep in a little later because your boyfriend has planned out your daily look and perfectly portioned your breakfast and lunchbox. Then there’s the rest of the times, when you have to time out your trips to the mall so that you come home when Tamura is out and hide your shopping bags in your car. But all of it’s no use.

He’s one step ahead of you every time. He has pictures of your gas meter daily, he tracks your location, and eventually, he takes you everywhere you go and sets a curfew.

If you post a picture with a guy on your socials, he wants the receipts, he wants the goddamn family tree proving that the schmuck’s your first cousin, or else. Or else, being that he shuts down your socials, happens anyway of course.

You get used to it. You don’t get to decide anymore, he decides for you, when you wake up, eat, cum, and what you wear, what you know, what you think and isn’t that just sweet?

jimmy - stalking

This one is kind of obvious. Jimmy HAS to know where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, and when you’ll be back. He can be found following you places or looking through your things. Though, when he finds out these things, he doesn’t get angry. He just broods and pities himself for a long time. He ends up making you feel obligated to tell him everything, and there’s always something that makes him upset about it.

[the-cooler-snimbusjavy]

XCOM: Chimera Squad Character Trivia Masterpost

So with XCOM: Chimera Squad having been out for a bit of time now, I’ve come to love and appreciate every single member of the squad we got, so I went ahead and decided to take a look at everything possible we have on the gang. Between character bios, in-game dialogue and conversations, lines pulled from the config files, concept art, all coupled with my personal interpretation on the information given, I have tried to give a go at making a post with every detail of each character I found worth mentioning (in absolutely no particular order). So, enjoy! Also fair warning, it’s long, ayy

SPOILERS AHEAD While not too important in the great scheme of things in Chimera Squad’s story, do read at your own risk.

.

Terminal - China, 29 years old

Terminal lost her parents during the invasion of 2015. They were a factory worker and a cook. Afterwards, she escaped with her uncle to a relocation camp, who unfortunately died of disease the following year.

After this event, she was adopted by a doctor who lost her only daughter. It was her who inspired Terminal to become a combat medic. In a cruel turn of events, she was killed during a retaliation attack from ADVENT. It is said Terminal’s personality severely shifted after this.

Terminal keeps a photo of her deceased adopted mother in her locker.

She was originally rejected to join the Reclamation Agency, so she requested the use of psionic probes to prove her worth. She was then admitted in probationary period.

Terminal believes Verge is the only one in the team who truly understands her. Verge “knows” this.

Terminal wants to have a fight between hers and Patchwork’s GREMLINs, for “training purposes”.

Terminal nicknames Patchwork “Patches” on occasion.

Whenever Patchwork “smack talks” Terminal down, she expresses she’s “so proud” of her.

Terminal often eats Whisper’s lunches in the fridge, under the excuse that he doesn’t label them.

Terminal seems to know the Jabberwock, and perhaps other stories surrounding it, as she wished to hear Zephyr pronounce said word, likely out of Terminal’s mocking of her Australian accent.

Terminal claims to be the “biggest fan” of conspiracy theorist Floyd Tesseract’s radio show, You Should Have Believed, and is absolutely delighted to meet him. This is much unlike every other member of the team, who all seem to either disregard him, dislike him, or outright suggest he be captured.

According to Terminal, the restorative mist within her GREMLIN is “minty fresh”. It seems Cherub once sniffed it on accident.

Terminal seems to consider Verge’s singing to be “the second worst thing she’s heard all year”.

Whisper accuses Terminal of sleeping during their briefings. According to Terminal, she’s just “resting her eyes”, as well as her “ears” and “interest”.

According to Godmother, Terminal tenses up whenever she pulls the trigger of her gun. Terminal attempts to deny this, unsuccessfully.

According to herself, Terminal has always wanted a “heavily-armored entourage”.

Terminal doesn’t know what a vertipad is, and upon learning of it, she questions who calls them that way, thinking it “stupid”. Seemingly, everyone else on the squad calls them by their name without issue.

According to Terminal, she’s never gonna retire, she expects to just die some day in the field (five years at most). Afterwards she confesses that she’s no good anywhere else, suggesting that she has an issue in finding direction with her life. Godmother claims that she knows well what she means.

Verge - ~40 years old

Verge originally worked alongside Thin Men in order to infiltrate society and psionically control them to share good word of the Elders’ occupation of Earth. It was due to his constant exposure to human thoughts that gained him empathy.

He worked as a mole during the events of XCOM 2 and provided the Resistance with information, making him the only* known alien to aid XCOM during their war against ADVENT. (*Ethereal Asaru is theorized to have aided XCOM by merging with the Commander, and sometimes even implied, but it still remains devoid of official word about it)

Sectoids can mind-merge with someone in order to “taste” whatever they may be eating. He suggests doing this with Cherub by offering to go to a new restaurant that serves “authentic old world cuisine”, but only with Cherub’s own consent.

Sectoids, and Verge as an extension, seemingly cannot eat terrestrial meat and eggs, or “greasy” food as worded by Cherub.

On that note, it would seem Sectoids are also intolerant to jam, as it’s considered poison for them. It’s possible Godmother was aware of this fact, as she instead replaces “jam“ with “butter“ during a phrase pre-mission.

Verge recognizes his acts during the original invasion were wrong, and there having been worse alternatives don’t excuse his actions still, according to him.

That said, he doesn’t seem to want to talk about his part in it, when asked by Godmother if he regret any of it.

Verge finds butter delicious, though he also believes the consumption of “the churned remains of another lactating mammal” to be slightly disturbing.

Terminal seems to be “creeped out” by Verge’s Battle Madness ability. Blueblood similarly finds it unsettling, yet still appreciates the “breathing room”. Surprisingly, Torque seems to outright love it, and even requests Verge to have the enemy “dance”.

Cats apparently find Sectoids to be adversaries for undisclosed reasons as declared by Verge, yet according to Axiom, he’s seen “a lot of Sectoids with cats”.

Verge keeps a ramen shop sticker, as well as an excerpt of a ramen cooking magazine in his locker, suggesting either or both an interest in cooking and enthusiasm towards this particular dish.

It seems Verge was acquainted with conspiracy theorist Floyd Tesseract during the invasion, claiming that he was “just as insufferable“ throughout it as he is now.

Verge enjoys “messing” with Whisper whenever he makes a comm check, by instead listening to him psionically. Whisper at least appreciates the honesty.

Verge seems to respect and care greatly for the Archons, as he states they will never be slaves again, and that the Progeny will do them no harm. He becomes particularly angry when threatened by the terrorist faction.

Verge claims that he enjoys collecting old watches.

Godmother - France, 48 years old

Godmother lost track of her family during the 2015 invasion. She spent a year looking for them, with no result.

Godmother does not consider herself a leader, but rather a teacher. This is the case in her old job as a police trainer, as a member of the Resistance, and now as provisional member of Chimera Squad.

Godmother plans to retire soon, but has decided to stick around Chimera Squad to aid them until she feels they are truly ready.

Terminal seems to be an example of the above, with Godmother constantly guiding the former.

Godmother witnessed Cherub’s adoption papers under request of Headquarters. She also signed them in addition.

Godmother believes Cherub has a talent to “bring people together”.

Godmother seems to consider the Sacred Coil faction as “re-heated ADVENT propaganda”.

Godmother seems to be good with card games as she claims her hobby to be “bluffing” with them, after being asked by Cherub if she had any.

According to Verge, Godmother still does not trust aliens. However, she’s actively trying to do so, which Verge claims is enough.

On the same note, Godmother is said to not trust the world leaders after surrendering so quickly, suggesting over the years she’s lived with trusting issues around her.

According to Godmother, she was once pinned down in a bank of Paris for three days.

Godmother seems to enjoy crêpes, as she orders Terminal to “stop making her hungry” after the latter desired donuts and crêpes respectively during a mission.

Godmother seems to be proud of her French heritage, as she keeps a touristic poster of the Arc de Triomphe in her locker.

Alongside this, a photo of presumably Godmother herself and a long-haired blonde woman both in police uniform is present. Who this woman is is not disclosed.

Cherub - Estonia, 5 years old

Cherub belonged to a batch of ADVENT clones under the name of the Empty Cohort, who never got to receive the respective indoctrination.

After being discovered there, Cherub was only recently adopted by the two resistance members who originally found him in his ADVENT facility of origin, as they found themselves responsible for him and his safety. They fell in love precisely due to this, having married one year prior to the events of XCOM: Chimera Squad.

On the same topic, Cherub keeps a picture of himself and his parents in his locker.

Alongside the aforementioned picture, Cherub keeps a card celebrating his fifth birthday. It presumably comes from his parents, seeing he put it alongside their picture.

Cherub was originally a clone of Bellus Mar, former ADVENT Officer and leader of the Sacred Coil terrorist faction. Cherub seems to be concerned of his teammates believing something of Mar could potentially be present in himself, which Director Kelly assures is not the case.

Cherub believes that friendship cannot be forced on others, and is content with simply letting others know that they are not alone.

Despite this, his naturally innocent and naive attitude allows Zephyr to use him as a “practice dummy”.

Cherub used to pronounce DJ as “deej” before he actually heard it aloud.

Cherub believes that it would be normal that everyone voiced whatever was exactly in their mind, without having the need to hide anything. Verge reveals to him that rarely do people do so, and that they choose to hide many things for a number of reasons. Cherub believes it to be too much work to think about, so he’d rather say things as he actually means to say.

Cherub believes sunrise, waffles, laughter, and wood smoke to be important things of life.

Cherub doesn’t understand the protection of money. He believes it’s not as rewarding as protecting people.

According to himself, Cherub is “so bad” at riddles.

Cherub enjoys watching wrestling from the old world whenever he gets the chance to find it. Whisper offers to search some for him, however, still forbids him to actually compete in it.

Cherub enjoys making puns and, apparently, he was taught of them by Whisper, who seemingly now regrets his decision.

Patchwork - Mexico, 29 years old

Patchwork lost her legs and left arm during the invasion of 2015. ADVENT provided her with new ones as part of their propaganda plan.

It was Patchwork herself who orchestrated her escape from the ADVENT City Centers, in order to join the Resistance.

Patchwork doesn’t name her GREMLINs anymore, presumably as they usually tend to be destroyed, as per Cherub’s inquiry. She counts at least 25 destroyed GREMLINs, one in particular destroyed by a Muton

Everyone apparently hates the androids they use on reinforcements for undisclosed reasons. Patchwork is the exception, as she considers them “robot friends” who fill in when they cannot.

On that note, it seems Patchwork is very protective of any sort of Android, and even refers to those stolen by Sacred Coil as her “niños” (Spanish for children).

Contrary to common belief within the squad, Patchwork did not choose her callsign due to her own state. In Terminal’s words, it was due to her affinity at “slapping software together”, and that everyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

Patchwork sometimes wonders if she and Terminal should switch callsigns, under the reasoning that she “works with computer terminals”, while Terminal “patches people back up”.

On the same note, Patchwork claims Terminal’s mouth moves at “terminal velocity”. The latter finds this very amusing.

Patchwork seems to refer to psionics as some sort of “music”. Stating she enjoys the “tune” of Shelter’s psi abilities, as well as claiming that Progeny’s leader Violet’s own sounds like a “symphony”. Similarly, when failed to be mind-controlled she states she doesn’t enjoy that kind of “music”.

Patchwork believes the ADVENT Gene Therapy clinics should not have been outlawed, as she considers ADVENT themselves to be the ones to blame for what they did to humanity, not the “tool” itself.

Patchwork is seemingly not allowed to enter tech vaults anymore. According to her, it was due to her mistakenly pushing a particular button that started some form of countdown. Seemingly, Director Kelly was “nearly irradiated” due to this mishap.

According to herself, Patchwork doesn’t like to go dancing, though it’s most likely due to the fact she distrusts the people running clubs.

Patchwork seems to be close to both Lily Shen and Richard Tygan, as she keeps a photo of herself alongside them both in her locker (John Bradford and the Commander can be seen in the background, with the latter strategically concealed).

Having worked as an engineer in the Avenger during XCOM 2, coupled with their personal love of robotics, her bond with Shen is easily explained.

As for Tygan, it is presumed by many he was the man in charge of providing a young Patchwork with her first prosthetic arm and legs back during his ADVENT days, explaining their bond now both together as members of XCOM.

Axiom - Born within an invasion ship, 46 years old

Mutons are apparently issued pet cats to demonstrate their capacity for compassion. Axiom did not get one as he proved himself while saving human lives during the Bugtown Massacre under his own initiative.

Despite this fact, Axiom still seems to be greatly fond of cats, as he owns a sticker of one surrounded by hearts in his locker.

According to Axiom, Mutons had a “spiritual connection” with their starships, returning to it signified some form of “pilgrimage”. Axiom’s ship, however, was destroyed back in 2015.

On this topic and true Muton nature, Axiom is fond of the space as well. He keeps a poster of Earth’s solar system in his locker.

Axiom considers Blueblood’s choice of weaponry to be inferior and small. However, after Blueblood explains his strategy of it being so unnoticeable that enemies focus on Axiom instead so then the former can pick up on those distracted, Axiom praises his cunning and respects the strategy.

Axiom believes Claymore fights like a woman, in that he’s fearless, calm under pressure, and is an inspiration to squadmates to give their all. After claiming he learned much from his sister, Axiom praises her as formidable and wishes to meet her, despite her views on the current world.

Axiom is surprised Godmother managed to fight and survive during the invasion of Paris, in her homeland in France. According to Axiom, the mortality rate was extremely high. They soon decide not to continue the conversation.

Apparently, Axiom wishes new boots, as his current footwear seemingly “pinch his ankles”.

Both Axiom and Torque seem to agree that Andromedons are “the worst”.

According to Axiom, Gray Phoenix leaders Custodian Xel and Crew Chief Yarvo’s names are aliases, and starship dialect. Xel meaning “good route” or “safe passage”, whereas Yarvo means “newly forged” or “birthed in flame”.

Claymore - India, 32 years old

Claymore has an older sister that he apparently worked with alongside the Resistance. According to Claymore, she’s the one that taught him many of the things he knows. However, she also seemingly has not come to terms with the current state of the world, presumably the peace between humans and aliens.

Other than her, Claymore also seemed to have an older brother. He, alongside their mother, however, lost their lives during the 2015 invasion.

Claymore worked on the Avenger during the events of XCOM 2, disassembling recovered alien explosives.

Claymore appears to be religious, as he claims that prayer brings him peace of mind. As to what religion he follows, is not disclosed.

When asked by Verge how he attains the aforementioned peace of mind, Claymore also adds that he does exercise and that he allows himself to love the world and the people around him.

On that same note, Claymore states that he “never touches” caffeine.

Claymore seems to enjoy food overall, and also appears to be a good cook, as he brings enough fish curry he made for everyone upon his arrival.

He and Verge enjoy visiting ramen shops together, cataloguing the good and bad places. They plan to go to the recently opened shop U.F.Oodle.

Claymore and Torque seem to have a thing against each other, referring to the other as a “rebel goon” and a “despotic flunkie”, respectively. Whisper facetiously refers to their aversion as “young love”.

Torque - Siberia, 20 years old

Torque was offered to act as “opposing force“ in training of XCOM agents post-war. She accepted as she considered prison to be “boring“.

During these events, Torque formed a bond with then-Colonel Jane Kelly, who seems to be the only person Torque truly respects and appreciates. It was thanks to her Torque was admitted into the Reclamation Agency and Chimera Squad.

Torque is afraid of losing her friends, so she tries hard to push them away with her unwelcoming attitude. This is due to her fear of forming bonds, since they may not come back from a fight the next day. She is incredibly self-aware of this fact. Director Kelly offers to talk with her about it, which Torque accepts.

On that same note, Godmother claims that Torque does in fact care about getting her team’s respect and appreciation, a topic Torque evidently wishes to avoid.

Despite these facts, Torque seems to be keen on improving as a person, as her locker shows she owns a book under the name of Meditation for the Exceptionally Stressed.

Torque sees herself as an earthling, as she was born on Siberia in 2020.

Torque seems to have something against off-worlders, but it’s unknown if this is due to her attitude, guilt about her own actions during the war that she projects against others, or legitimate aversion against them.

Terminal seems to be absolutely thrilled whenever Torque uses her Tongue Pull with the former, with her exclaiming she wants to “go again”.

Torque seems to have a heavy disliking of Whisper for undisclosed reasons, under occasions having suggested him to perform a lobotomy, as well as telling him to “bite his tongue off and bleed to death” after he asks the team to bring him a “souvenir” from a Viper-themed mature bar.

After Whisper reveals himself to be Canadian, Torque claims Canadians taste like maple. Whether it’s her joking with Whisper or not is not confirmed.

Torque believes Codexes to be “insufferable show-offs”. On that note, she’s always believed they judged her with their “creepy glowing eyes”.

Torque seems to enjoy drawing, as she keeps a bunch of sketches in her locker, most notably of terrestrial creatures like dogs and frogs. But most importantly, she has one of Axiom in civilian clothing eating noodles, scribbled in it reads “I’m never eating anything else ever again” in Axiom’s perspective. Axiom himself keeps this sketch on his own locker, demonstrating he values it.

Also present on her locker seems to be a touristic poster of the northern lights, presumably Siberian, suggesting she’s fond of her birthplace.

Blueblood - United States, 34 years old

Blueblood managed to live a peaceful life with his family under City 31 during the ADVENT regime. Despite this, he helped others where he could, even members of the Resistance.

Blueblood seems to love and respect his father dearly, as he decided to continue the family tradition of being policemen. The former also keeps a picture of them both after a fishing trip.

On the same note, Blueblood seems to be a fishing enthusiast, as he keeps a poster of the various fishes near City 31.

Blueblood personally knows City 31’s Police Department’s Commissioner Maloof, and even seems to be on friendly terms with her, calling her by her first name, Halia.

Blueblood is seemingly concerned that Terminal seems to be far too eager to put herself into danger. According to her, it’s just that she understands the concept of ”acceptable risk”. Blueblood fears it’s a “death wish“.

Blueblood states that he would not shoot any of his teammates, not even with training purposes, after being asked by Cherub. He instead suggests him to use the ballistic mannequins they already possess.

Blueblood states that Godmother reminds him of his mother, in that she lead his whole family without ever taking charge herself, always pushing them enough to reach their potential. Godmother claims that Blueblood has exceeded his.

Blueblood’s mother passed away back in 2014 due to cancer, and the former claims that “this time of year” always hits him due to it (presumably somewhere between March and May). That said, he’s glad she never got to live to witness the invasion.

On this note, Shelter feels the need to comfort him after noticing something was wrong. Blueblood appreciates this.

Blueblood states that his father used to love heist movies, and the two of them watched them together.

According to Blueblood, ADVENT’s soldiers helmets are “stupid”.

Shelter - Chile, 36 years old

Shelter lived in a big family, but got separated from them during the 2015 invasion.

He was found and experimented on by ADVENT after discovering he had latent psionic potential, forcing him to kill and torture “criminals“ with his abilities. This affected him to the point of crying. He managed to escape from them afterwards.

Shelter is a proud farmer. He was taken in by the Resistance thanks to these skills, and in his locker he keeps a picture of a younger self standing in front of plentiful crops, as well as posters promoting new “delicious and nutritious” breeds of vegetables.

Shelter seems to enjoy chilli, as he was joyed to have some upon his arrival.

Shelter doesn’t like to read other’s minds, as evidenced by Cherub playfully asking him to read his, with Shelter claiming that he “would never” do so.

Shelter knew to some capacity of the Progeny’s leader, Violet. Upon his escape, he psionically contacted her during the event, but then lost connection. Presumably, she was yet to lose her mind due to ADVENT’s experimentations on her. He refers to this connection of emotions as a sort of “poem”.

Shelter is very fond of his squadmates, complimenting them whenever the chance is available, as well as exclaiming against enemies that he won’t allow them to hurt his friends.

Claymore seems to hate it whenever Shelter switches their positions with Relocate, as it makes him feel “queasy”. Blueblood similarly thinks it’s “freaky”. Cherub, on the other hand, consider it to be “so fun”.

According to himself, Shelter doesn’t like banks.

Shelter doesn’t understand why their enemies, in particular members of the Gray Phoenix faction, would be willing to die for their causes.

According to himself, Shelter’s teeth itch, or otherwise rattle, whenever there’s high spikes of power or energy. It’s unknown if this is normal in other human psions.

It would appear that Shelter has a crush on Zephyr, as the latter noticed his face turned red whenever she was around (which she mistook for anger). After discovering this, Zephyr does not seem to be visibly upset, but perhaps surprised, to which Shelter reacts with embarrassment.

Zephyr - Australia, 33 years old

Zephyr is not a clone unlike many former ADVENT soldiers. She presumably was amongst the first humans to be turned into hybrids and then brainwashed to follow the ADVENT regime, presumably similar to Sacred Coil leader Bellus Mar, off whom Cherub was cloned from. It is not known, however, if Zephyr was cloned at any point.

After being liberated the the Skirmishers faction, she joined their ranks and operated near City 31.

Zephyr seemingly does not want hammocks in HQ as per Patchwork’s desire to improve the place. Apparently, there was a mishap regarding this in the past.

According to herself, it seems Zephyr has “always wished” to go bowling.

At least visibly, Zephyr seems to not be too fond of Cherub, as she’s seen referring to him as “knock-off” on occasion.

According to Zephyr, “punch-a-bastard-in-the-face” day is a “roving holiday”, which she enjoys to celebrate.

Zephyr seems to refer to Patchwork as a “nerd”, as she stood by her words whenever the latter was offended by Zephyr’s accusation towards computer-savvy Gray Phoenix members.

Zephyr believes that she has no place in the Skirmishers (or anywhere)  anymore as it began accepting more clones, and due to the fact of her not knowing of her own past as a human. Claymore expresses his profound disagreement, and even though Zephyr states it’s not as simple, she appreciates the words.

[chimericarchitect]

F: Velius had a fairly standard operating procedure for visiting new locations, and it was almost nuttily paranoid.  It did a pretty good job of keeping him safe though. The first thing he did with the coordinates he was given was plug them into his sendificator, and then scroll the viewport around a little bit.  Time to see where he'd be landing.

S: Depending on where he looked, it was either very dim or uncomfortably bright. The upper floors appeared to contain a fairly normal hive. Only one room really looked like it was lived in very much. The deeper he looked, the more like a lab it appeared to be, unusual apparatus lining the walls with cold light. Beyond the hive was a thick swath of trees.

F: Basement labs were his most and least favorite thing.  He tried to scroll far enough down to have some idea whether it was the kind of lab that dealt with juices in tubes, with living creatures as subjects, with dead creatures as subjects, or exclusively with machines.

S: It appeared to exclusively contain machinery, though there were luminous pillars of dubious content whose glow could not be seen through. Blank monitors lined the walls and the center of the room contained a spherical depression that occasionally arced.

F: Yeah, that looked like legit science shit that probably wouldn't piss off his moral centers.  Project 'Help Strangers' was good to go!  ... he zoomed back to the place the coordinates actually led to, found the pad the coordinates would match up to, and kitted himself up in a big ugly christmas sweater before transporting over.He was an inch or two shy of six feet tall, and the photos were accurate.  https://78.media.tumblr.com/9536398f8e9cd0f10a832a7f75ce4280/tumblr_osvhqrMNiO1uea4lso1_500.png (( + a set of bit ugly violet sunglasses ))

S: Saness was there by the transportalizer, waiting with impatient patience. She stood a little stiffly at a whopping 5'10" including horns. "Hey. Terrible?" (She's wearing something looser to accommodate her injuries and her neck is completely covered)

F: They were almost exactly the same height.  He might have an inch of advantage, but it was close.  He beamed straight back at her and stuck out a hand to shake.  "--Hey dude, how's it hangin!  I mean, aside from the obvious kinda shitty bits but like, you know!"

S: Hesitation dissolved at his chipper demeanor, eyebrows unfurrowing slightly. She shook his hand firmly, easing into a reciprocal smile. "It's hangin'. I mean, y'know. Nice sweater." His hair was quite a sight as well. "Formalities aside though, thanks again for coming over."

F: "Ayy, thanks, it was a present!  I collect these stupid things, holiday sweaters are fuckin great at like the opposite time a sweep, you know? -- an no problem, I like bein helpful an you seem cool.  So you should have some backup when shit gets naut so cool, right?" He had a severe tendency to talk with his hands, and it was already becoming clear.

S: His flapping hands to match his flapping jaw made him seem very approachable, but her smile slipped a little at the mention of backup. "Yeah." Unsure of what to say, she gestured at the staircase leading up, all business. "She's upstairs, if you're ready."

F: "Ready if you are --" He ran his hands through his hair, brushing it back behind his fins quickly.  "Might be able to do this with just a teeny peek, so she won' even know we're there probably," ..and, time to approach the staircase. He glanced back, pointing upwards then downwards, and then heading in the direction Saness indicated. Creepy sneaky sneak!

S: Okay, that was kind of funny. Saness smirked and allowed for stealth to take charge of their approach, leading him to the room with quiet footfalls. The room in question was close. From the doorway, a tall, narrow troll could be seen sitting listlessly on a stiff chair. She was facing away from the doorway, staring blankly at the wall. Saness looked at Terrible with a considering tilt, knowing that the woman in the other room wouldn't notice them even if they tap danced on her face, but completely willing to play along with Terrible's paranoia.

F: Terrible's fins lowered visibly at the sight of the woman in the chair, and the way she was listless instead of being singleminded on a task.  It was hard for him to imagine someone that just... ran out of go juice.  ... Aside from the times he did that to people on purpose to immobilize them so he could tweak their personalities, but he'd only ever done that to imps so it didn't count.  His eyebrows narrowed, and he squinted at her thoughtfully. ..alright, test number one.  He tried to loosen up his mind senses a little bit, and peek at just the surface layer of Mind Shit.  The emotions of people and things, whether there were minds present and loosely where they were if so.  If there were any ghosts or AI's in the room, that would probably register around now.  Likewise, if anything in the room was a lynchpin that could control whether the timeline branched one way or another, it might seem what he would refer to as 'shiny'.

S: There was no emotional response from the mind of the woman in the chair, if one could even call it a mind. It was more akin to a carefully covered hole, static and whispers; only the puppeted mockery of sentience remained like the last dregs of a dying battery. The only other presence came from Saness at his side, staunch hope warring with fidgety worry and reluctant resignation. Nothing stood out as being particularly "shiny" in this room, though if he was capable of sensing beyond it a great deal he would know that there was a catalyst of temporal possibility far below. Saness shuffled a little, unaware if Vel was doing anything at all but certain that he would make some sort of gesture if there was something he required.

F: He bit his lip and started whistling tunelessly through his teeth, fins twitching slightly.  His classpect was the active destruction of minds, but... mostly when he was doing it.  He wanted to reach out and try to save her, but that sounded like the kind of thing that got his brain bitchslapped by horrorterrors. He snuck closer as if she might actually notice anything around herself, cautiously peeking a little closer, careful not to touch her mind directly.  ..Still, he wanted to know if there was any sign of what had been puppeting her, or how it had started -- or, at least enough to recognize the traces this had left on her, so he could identify it in its earlier stages on other people.

S: Saness stepped into the room when Terrible began his whistling inquisition but didn't approach; not because she did not want to, but because she did not want to be in the way. She was curious and hideously concerned by his lip-biting reaction, unsure of what to make of it. The woman in the chair remained unmoving and unresponsive to his approach, but as he got closer he could see that she was... sagging. There was a weathered look about her, reminiscent of an aged tarp or worn pottery. Dull jade eyes remained still and steady, pupils blown wide in a devout study of nothing. The frizzling static remained as a blanketing force obscuring the depths of her mind from observation, but the undecipherable whisper of alien thought flicked up from below the fog tauntingly.

F: "...I think she met somethin bad, for one. ...an it feels... ...glitchy, like. Maybe trickster shit, probably not, but that's the only glitchy shit that comes to mind. I can't tell if they locked away the her deep in there, or if they took it out, but there's this shieldy kinda deal around the outside that's like.  Cloud cover."  He sketched a vague round shape with his hands, the top half of a sphere. "...I think there's somethin in there, under the cover. Not her, somethin else. Whatever happened to her, whether it's a creature or like. A physics thing. She won't get better without outside help, an maybe naut with it."

S: Saness listened closely as he spoke, banishing the crestfallen expression before it could fully form on her face. If he was still observing mind stuff, he would sense the acute crash of her hope as a different, colder emotion rose to take its place. Saness nodded curtly and looked to the woman in the chair, jaw stiff. "And maybe not with it," she parroted. "I see." The room was quickly becoming tense.

F: "...I'm sorry I don't have better news, but lies are shitty. The paths from here that are good for her are the crazy weird ones where interestin shit happens, not the borin ones where things go expected low-risk kind a directions."

S: She nodded again, fighting to relax. This had been a fact even before she knew it was, and now it was just another facet of life. "I get it. Kinda." It was tricky to find words that weren't worthless. "I'm not sure what she needs yet, but thank you. Nothing would change without... that first point." Focus. Be practical. She tore her glasses-masked stare away from the woman in the chair to continue addressing Vel. "Do you have any suggestions on where I should go with this information?"

F: "...I'd probably be a dumbass and charge into the fray to see if there's any a her left in there an if I could heroically swipe shit back into the way it should be, but I'm an optimist. More like, carefully, I'd probably start thinkin about what she was doin when her pan started gettin screwy, an see if I could figure out what caused it, an if there was an off button. 's the lab downstairs hers?"

S: Saness visibly wavered at the mention of the lab, frowning. "Yeah, it's... It's hers."

F: "..I'd guess the explanation's there. Or, you know, somethin that can do this.  ..unless she usually does a lotta outside-the-lab stuff."

S: "She gets out a lot. We've only been here a short while, but she's always been tech-y. Lab savvy. That's not... new."

F: "..so there's an amount of whatever did this, in her thinkbits, right now.  There might be more somewhere else that she was a while ago.  ...in the period where sh was gettin all distracted, what'd she focus on?"

S: "She stuck to routine the whole time, there was no real turning point. The whole change was... progressive. So she was just focused on..." She trailed off for a moment. "Her job. In the caverns."

F: "..so, if someone was doin spooky shit there, an didn't want anyone talkin about it, .. ?"

S: Nod nod. "Seems like an okay place to start." She rubbed the back of her neck with a grimace, still moving stiffly. It was vague, but it was something. "Really, I suppose I have a few options in regards to potential leads."

F: "I'm sorry about your friend. If I can help, I'm game. Even if it's little weird shit."

S: She considered the godtier limeblooded fish wizard that stood before her, offering him a half smile with drawn brows. "Thanks again for that. I can, uh, keep you updated. If you want."

F: ".. I'd like that."  He looked back at her for a moment, then stuffed his hands in his pockets.The worst kind of friend was the one that stopped responding spontaneously and you never found out why.  He loved helping friends not be that friend.  He figured that wouldn't be reassuring to say, so he managed not to.

S: "Well..." How many times could someone say thank you before it got redundant and annoying? She figured she'd already reached that limit. One last glance at the woman in the chair, then Saness was turning to leave the room, perhaps a little brusquely. "Is there anything I can get you before you go?"

F: "...Nah. ... If you need the like, life support shit she'd need to keep her body healthy, so you got longer to plan and try to decide what to do about her, I could probably hook you up."

S: She was walking and talking, stepping back into the room with the transportalizer. "Mm. See, the thing about that is she still gets up and like, follows her routine, eats and stuff. I should be able to follow her to the caverns without much trouble. I'll keep that in mind if her health goes south though."

F: He followed her back, fins at around half mast.  "Fair.  ..I'm glad she at least like, has part a her pattern left."

S: Nowhere left to go, Saness faced Vel in the dimly lit room. It was odd to see him looking so down. Droopy fins. A little wave of spiteful determination brought a terse smile to her face and she put out her fist for a bump. "She'll pull through. I'll make sure of it."

F: ".. Good luck, dude.  Catch you later."  He returned the fist-bump.

S: "Later, Terrible."

F: He tipped her a sympathetic wink, then disappeared via appearifier.

[nevermindthewind]

Waurel promt: Laurel has a lot of problems with the pregnancy hormones Laurel: Let's have sex, Wes. Right here, right now. Wes: I totally would, but none of the doors in this dorm lock. Laurel: Then let's do it against the door. It'll be like a threesome between you, me, and the door. Wes: Sounds hot, but I'll never be able to look at that poor door the same way again. I can't be so mean to such an innocent door.

They were almost to the clinic when Michaela called asking them, well telling them to pick up her laptop from Asher’s dorm.

Neither of them wanted to as Freeman was on the other side of campus, but after she threatened to withhold her incredibly detailed Evidence outline Wes quickly turned the car around and headed towards the eastern entrance. Laurel wasn’t as easily convinced.

“Doesn’t she know not to keep a pregnant lady away from food for more than 20 minutes?” she asked, folding her arms over her newly visible bump. “If I’m not within 100 feet of a roll of Oreos at all times I could collapse.”

Wes laughed. “Asher’s bound to have plenty of food in his room. We’ll steal a little something for the road. 

“Okay…You think he has oreos?” she asked hopefully.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” he replied.

As they pulled up to a stop light Laurel’s attention was suddenly drawn to Wes. He had one hand on the wheel, the other resting on his lap. She watched his fingers tap the steering wheel in time with the music, and suddenly she was imagining those fingers doing something…a little different.

She bit her lip as she grabbed his resting hand and pulled it into her lap. Taking his hand into her own, she began playing with his fingers and interlacing them with hers. Wes smiled but didn’t take his eyes off the road.

That smile.

Laurel’s face began to warm imagining all the ways she could wipe that smile off his face. She turned to face the road, her eyes widening. A small smile appeared on her face.

Get a grip, Laurel.

–

By the time they reached Freeman she was practically on fire.

She got out of the car and immediately took his hand in hers and wrapped her other arm around his, pulling him close.

“Someone’s feeling cuddly this morning,” he said. He squeezed her hand as they made their way up the stairs to Asher’s room.

“That’s not all I’m feeling,” she muttered just loud enough for him to hear. Wes’ eyebrows shot up.

“Oh really?” he asked, turning his head to look at her. She looked up at him, desire reflected in her eyes. He grinned. “This pregnancy is making you hornier than Connor and Asher combined.”

“You love it,” she said, kissing his arm as they arrived at Asher’s room on the second floor.

“And you are such a bad influence,” he said with mock seriousness. They went into the room and immediately Laurel closed the door.

“Let’s have sex, Wes. Right here, right now,” she murmured into his ear, walking her fingers down his arm. Wes laughed and turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow.

“I totally would, but none of the doors in this dorm lock,” he fake whispered back, looking around the room.

She cocked her head playfully as she turned to face him, pulling him close by looping her thumbs through his belt loops.

“Then let’s do it against the door. It’ll be like a threesome between you, me, and the door.”

“Sounds hot, but I’ll never be able to look at that poor door the same way again. I can’t be so mean to such an innocent door.”

Laurel was getting impatient. She took off her jacket and tossed it on the floor before pulling Wes closer to her still, backing them up until she was up against the door.

“Wes. This is a dorm room. The door is hardly innocent. In fact, it’s practically meant for sex. It would be sad if we didn’t have sex.”

“Well we can’t have that, now can we?” he asked with a smirk, and with that Laurel knew she’d won.

She stood on her toes and kissed him hard, moving her hands from his waist to his face as she slipped off her flats, then quickly moving to unbuckle his belt. He kissed her back as he unzipped her jeans, not wasting any time. They only had a little time before Michaela got suspicious and he wasn’t taking any chances.

“Asher– “ Wes started.

“Won’t care, he never sleeps here anyway,” Laurel finished as she pulled him to her.

Laurel wiggled her hips, trying to help as he began to pull down her pants, revealing a lacy maroon thong. As she kicked them off to the side Wes kissed the corner of her lips and started a trail from her lips, across her jaw and down her neck before pulling back her sleeve to kiss a patch of freckles on her shoulder, his favorite spot. Laurel responded by pulling off her shirt in one swift movement, her growing breasts barely contained by her pre-pregnancy bra.

“God you’re beautiful,” he groaned.

“Please, you just like my inflated tits,” Laurel retorted with a laugh.

“Well I mean you’re not wrong, but the rest of you is pretty goddamn beautiful too.”

Laurel just shook her head.

–

Thirty minutes later they walked into the clinic.  

They’d carefully inspected themselves, taking care to fix their hair and clothes to get rid of any, well, evidence of their earlier debauchery.  

As soon as they walked in they were greeted by an irritated Michaela, who immediately rounded on them.

“What the hell took you so long?” she said through gritted teeth.

“Morning sickness,” Laurel shrugged, handing her the laptop. Wes giggled but managed to hide it with a cough.

“Aw don’t tell me you ralphed in my room,” Asher groaned, looking up from his file.

Laurel glared up at him. “No I didn’t, but if I did I highly doubt I’d have been the first to throw up in that pigsty,” she retorted.

“She’s right, you managed to take that room’s vomit virginity within a week of living there,” said Michaela as she sat down at their table.  Wes and Laurel followed, Laurel shooting a playful glance at him as they sat next to each other.  He wiggled his eyebrows in response.

That was when he noticed it; a small, but very noticeable hickey was beginning to form at the base of her neck.  

His eyes widened.  He didn’t know whether to laugh or panic.  She was going to kill him.

Of course, Laurel noticed the change in his expression almost immediately.

“What?” she mouthed, furrowing her eyebrows.

He cleared his throat and casually pointed at his own neck, attempting to disguise it as an itch and then pointing at her. She brought her hand to her neck, flinching as her finger grazed the darkening bruise.  Her eyes widened with realization.  A look of exasperation appeared on her face and she quickly aimed a hard kick at his leg under the table.  

“Hey!” he exclaimed quietly, trying not to attract any attention as his leg began to throb.  For such a tiny person she really knew how to kick.

“Serves you right,” she muttered.

“I didn’t hear you complaining earlier,” he shot back.  

Laurel narrowed her eyes, clearly trying to look angry.  However as she turned back to the box of files in front of her Wes could’ve sworn he saw a little smile creep onto her face.

–

They managed to go most of the morning without anyone noticing.  Everyone was too focused on prepping for their next case to notice the now plum colored bruise on Laurel’s neck.  

That is, until Michaela reached over to grab a document off Laurel’s desk and practically came face to face with it.

“Laurel Castillo what is that?!” she exclaimed loudly, pointing to the hickey. “How old are you, 15?” Laurel winced as everyone looked up to see what Michaela was referring to.  Wes was slow to look up, a sheepish look on his face.  

“Ayy get it baby mama,” said Asher, rubbing his shoulder up against Laurel suggestively. She promptly pushed him away.

“Jesus Waitlist, try to be a little more obvious next time,” Connor sniggered.

“Shut up,” said Wes, annoyed.  He glanced at Laurel who shot him a look and raised an eyebrow.

“This is a two way street, buddy.  If I’m going down you’re coming with me,” she shrugged.

“Yeah Wes, fair is fair,” said Michaela, nodding her head in agreement.  “But next time if you want to go all vampire on your girlfriend try to do it a little further south where no one can see it.”

“Michaela!” Laurel exclaimed. “Who are you and what have you done with the girl who hated talking about sex?”

Now it was Michaela who was embarrassed.  

“She actually had an orgasm, that’s what happened,” Connor observed.

“Yeah she hopped on board the Ash Daddy Express,” said Asher, sticking his tongue out and shaking his head.

“Disgusting,” Michaela groaned.  “And I’m just saying, if you’re gonna suck on each other at least make it easy to cover up.”

“Duly noted,” said Laurel, rolling her eyes before returning her gaze to her laptop.

“Wait a second…” said Connor slowly.  “That little guy wasn’t there when you guys got here.  When did you guys sneak off to do the dirty?”

“For your information, asshole, I haven’t left this chair since we got here,” Laurel retorted, keeping her eyes on her computer.

“You’re blushing,” teased Asher.  Laurel just shook her head.

“You’re ridiculous,” she told him.

Suddenly Michaela gasped.

“Oh my God you didn’t!” she said, looking from Laurel to Wes with a bemused expression on her face.

“What?” Wes said a little too innocently.

“Asher’s dorm! You guys totally did it in his dorm,” she said triumphantly, as if she’d cracked a major case. “That’s why it took you so long to get the laptop. You little liars.”

“I…don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Wes, not meeting her eyes. Laurel’s eyes were practically burning a hole into her computer.

“Aw man,” groaned Asher. “Now I’m gonna have to burn my sheets. Actually make that my whole bed, just to be safe.”

“Who said anything about a bed?” muttered Laurel.  She looked up with a smirk and held out her hand to Wes, who promptly high fived her.

“Ok no, I don’t want to hear this,” said Michaela, shaking her head.

“There’s the Michaela I remember!” she teased. Michaela just glared at her.

“You two are bigger horndogs than Connor during his Grindr phase,” Asher said, ruffling Laurel’s hair as he walked back to his chair.  

“Even I wouldn’t have sex in your dorm, it’s a death trap,” retorted Connor.

“True,” said Asher. “I don’t know whether to be proud or disgusted by the two of you.”

“This is coming from the two guys who collectively have had sex in every bar in Philadelphia,” Laurel popped back.

“Yeah I don’t think you two are really in a place to talk,” commented Wes.

As Asher and Connor attempted to defend their honor, under the table Wes took Laurel’s hand and squeezed it. She looked up at him.

“I really am sorry,” he said sheepishly. Laurel let out a tiny laugh.

“Don’t be. Like you said, it’s not like I did anything to stop you.”

“I know, but still. I should’ve been more careful,” he sighed.

“I don’t think careful is really our strong suit,” she said with a smirk, resting her hand on her tiny bump.

“True,” said Wes, laughing. “We probably should work on that.”

Laurel smiled before planting a quick kiss on his hand.

“I think we’re doing okay.”

[khymer-vulture]

Ayy, finally done proofreading. I hope you guys like it.

Another side-story for the Our Bond series. (set in the middle of Last Chapters, so Caleb isn’t born yet.)

*Ray’s dreams become haunted by an old and familiar tormentor.

Life for Isaac and Rachel have been going beautifully during their times together. From being runaway fugitives to living in a home to call their own - and as man and wife, no less. Every day seemed like a new step to take, and a new discovery to be made for their soul mate. This was indeed the foundation of a perfect family she long desired, she had someone who viewed her life as precious and not a burden. For Zack, Rachel was his rock, she was what made him truly feel human again, and draw out the innocent pieces of him that remained hidden deep within his scarred soul. Each shattered piece of their past seemed to become an elaborate puzzle that the two of them dedicated their years piecing together into something that made them whole.

 They were whole.

 As time went by, and the two continued their plans on building their own family, Rachel seemed to feel a sense of dread, mostly in her sleep. She hasn’t had nightmares in the longest time thanks to the warm and secure embrace of her husband, but now it seemed the nightmares were back with a vengeance.

 Rachel fidgeted and squirmed from mental discomfort as her mind began to plague her with bits of her past, her parents belittling her as well as one another, pinning blame for their problems on everything but themselves, to even the physical trauma.

 No, not again. This was the past, and it should stay in the past. Rachel was a woman now, she had her own free will, she was building more self-confidence by the day, and she felt loved by…

 “A serial killer…how sad and pathetic…” a voice called out.

 In front of Ray was a blurred manifestation of her father, it had been so long that she had even forgotten what his own face looked like. Yet, his spiteful voice was something she couldn’t forget at all.

 “You really are some sort of psycho…” he spoke again, “the only people that you can associate with are other lunatics…especially a vicious murderer like him. You both seem to be made for each other, isn’t that right, you little hell spawn?”

 Rachel was feeling her childhood anxiety take hold, she wanted to prove this manifestation wrong, there was lots more to Zack than just his infamy. She could even feel herself shrink back into the broken little girl as her dreams took root.

 “You even gave your disgusting body to him, like the freaking Whore of Babylon…” the taunts continued, “just how vile can you get?”

 “Stop…” Rachel pleaded, her arms huddled around herself as a false security blanket. “I’m not disgusting, I’m not vile, I’m…”

 “Oh, enough bullshitting…a bloodthirsty killer like him is obviously enjoying the free ride you’re giving him…” the blurred vision of her father interrupted, “…you’ve even bred a little demon with him…pretty sure that little imp is going to be just as seriously fucked up as the two of you…hell, your ‘lover boy’ might hightail it out before your misery-bringing-self drags him down too...”

 Ray shook her head, she refused to believe every demeaning word that escaped her tormentor’s lips. The thought of the child growing inside her eventually becoming just as mad as their parents, or even the thought of Zack leaving her side was causing her anxiety to spike. Her heart raced as she felt her insides twist into a thousand knots, and her own head began attacking her with insecurities.

 “Ray…Ray!...Wake up!” a voice called out.

 Rachel’s eyes shot open as she gasped for air, she quickly sat up and gripped at the sides of her head, the woman was clearly still shaken up by her dream. Soon, came the feeling of large arms surrounding her into a comforting embrace, a familiar sensation of both love and safety. Zack gently nuzzled the top of Ray’s head to help calm her nerves, it had been a long while since she had nightmares for him to chase away.

 “Calm down, alright? Deep breaths…” Zack softly whispers.

 “Please keep talking…” the woman pleaded. “please…I…I just need to hear something…”

 Zack raised a brow, clearly something unhinged her very badly, but he complied. If nightmares were what frightened her, then maybe bringing up some good memories would help clear away the darkness. The man leaned closely to her ear and began to whisper the tender moments they shared throughout the years - their reunion, their first night together, watching Rachel blossom into a beautiful and steadfast woman, to even their first kiss.

 “Shit Ray…no matter how many times we locked lips, I still think our first one was always the best to remember…”

 Rachel was no longer a nervous wreck, she couldn’t help but smile to the memories, even hear her husband’s point of view with his colorful commentary. Soon, she was leaning against Zack and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a simple peck on the cheek to let him know that she was alright.

 “Thank you, Zack…that was all I needed…”

 “So, what happened? Shit, I haven’t seen you this freaked out in years…” Zack asked.

 Rachel faintly sighed as her hands began to slide down and bundle at the sheets piled at her knees, her eyes had a familiar look to them, that hollow and dead look. Zack grit his teeth that something as bad as a nightmare would make such an expression return.

 “Look…Ray…I don’t want to stress you out…” Zack said, “Whatever it was…I can tell it must’ve been some serious shit. It’s none of that execution nonsense like before, right?”

 Ray slowly shook her head, “No…it was much worse…I saw my parents again…especially my dad – at least, what I can remember much of him.”

 That answer surprised Zack a bit, a terrible old haunt, that explained the dulled look returning to her eyes.

 “I could hear his voice so clearly, like he was mocking me from beyond the grave. Disgusting, vile, and pathetic to only feel loved by a serial killer…” Rachel murmured, then began to let slip a sniffle.

 The woman was about to break down, Zack brought his arms to hold her close yet again.

 “Hey…enough…” Zack shushed, “Didn’t uh...didn’t one of your books say to not get stressed? It’s not good for you and the little pipsqueak…”

 Zack then lightly poked at Rachel’s belly, it was a little protruded from the growing child within.

 Rachel wiped a tear away, then faintly smiled to herself – serial killer or no, Zack was genuinely concerned for her health and the health of their unborn.

 “Yeah…it did say that…you’ve gotten better at reading, Zack,” she answered with a faint sniffle.

 Zack had a proud and humble grin on his face, but in all seriousness, the words Rachel’s supposed “father” said even irked him.

 “Yer’ dad was a cop, right?”

 Rachel lightly nodded.

 “Who in the fuck gave him the right to say that shit? That miserable bag of dicks is a man of the law and couldn’t even fucking practice what he preached. The real sad thing is that a serial killer does know how to love someone better than a god damn pig like him can…” Zack boldly stated, “If he shows up in your dream again, tell him straight up I said that.”

 “You won’t leave me, right?” Ray asked.

 “Did he say that shit too?” Zack growled. Then let out a huff of frustration, “The only way I’m leaving is with my last fucking breath, Ray. Until then, you’re stuck with me.”

 Zack then grabbed her by the hips in a slight pouncing manner, he made sure to be gentle with her, and heard her let out a surprised laugh as he playfully kissed and nibbled at her neck. It’s been a while since he did engage in a type of playful behavior, but hearing her laugh was damn worth it. His attempt at soothing her worries was indeed working like a charm.

 “No way in hell I’m gonna leave…” Zack said, “Hey…look, your shitty parents are gone. I don’t know what’s bringing those memories back. Just remember where you are now, you’re a grown woman – fucking beautiful, even. You’re living in a house, all neatly kept n’ shit. Hell, you got that garden you worked so damn hard on. Fuck, Ray…you’re living the dream. Not to mention, you got the fearsome Isaac Foster, and I’ll happily slaughter hundreds who dare to say otherwise…”

 Isaac had that predatory gleam in his golden eye, he truly did mean it - if he could jump into her dreams, he’d keep his word.

 The hollowed look from before was now gone, much to Zack’s relief, he leaned down to give her a small and tender kiss on the lips before letting her get back into a comfortable position to sleep.

 “Thank you, Zack…”

 “Get some good dreams this time,” Zack replied.

 Soon Zack wrapped his arms around his wife, their usual big spoon, little spoon position. The two eventually drifted off into the spell of sleep.

 The dreams returned, Rachel felt uneasy, but she mentally repeated the words Zack said. Before her, was the hazy image of her father again, Ray felt a small bit of determination to confront her inner demons.

 “Happy with your crazy family? Quit trying to sugar coat the truth to make yourself feel better…”

 Rachel clenched a fist, she refused to be swayed.

 Soon, came the blurred image of her mother, “A worthless thing like you should stop playing ‘make believe’. There is no happily ever after. It’ll only be a matter of time until he turns on you too…until you end up like us…”

 “A filthy girl like you can’t do anything right…” the voices chanted.

 Rachel felt the unease build stronger until she had enough, “I will hear no more! I am happy where I am, I don’t regret being with Zack. I know what kind of person he is, so what? He’s still a human being, he expresses emotions, he feels pain, and can admit his own faults! The both of you never shown a single sliver of that, all you ever did was fight, scream, and place blame instead of owning up to your own mistakes!”

 “Why you little…” the mother angrily growled, then began to raise a hand to strike at her.

 Rachel was there to catch it, she had an expression on her face that clearly said – I am not afraid.

 “If my current life counts as sugar coating, I don’t even want to know what you’d call that life back then. I’m a grown woman, I choose the paths I take in my life. I don’t need to hear the words of a couple dead-beat corpses to break me again.”

 Then her eyes directed over to the manifestation of her father, “It’s sadder that a cop like you was a poor excuse for a husband. Zack cares for me in every way, he cares for my health, my sanity, and my happiness. Despite your ‘moral differences’, a killer like him knows how to love someone compared to a drunk and downtrodden man of the law. Compared to you and mother, we’re truly a normal couple. There will be no more biased opinions coming from the two of you…you’re all just a bad dream, and nothing more.”

 Dream or no, she felt damn satisfied to finally stand up to her parents, even just a mere representation.

 The dark manifestations of her parents fizzled away like ashes, and she began to feel a huge sense of relief. Possibly stress and doubt had been building up unknowingly to allow her mind to concoct such a nasty illusion, if that were the case, she was glad that Zack enabled her to stand up to her old demons.

 Morning had risen, and Rachel slowly opened her eyes. She wasn’t surrounded by darkness, but in the comforts of a large bed shared by her spouse, she could feel their combined warmth wrap her up so safely and securely. Her happy life and not a troubling nightmare.

 Soon, she could hear the familiar and tired grumbles coming from Zack, he must be waking up as well. Normally, she’d just let him sleep in, but given the situation last night, he must still be worried.

 “Mmh? You’re up? Mornin’ Ray…” Zack mumbled as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

 “Morning Zack,” Ray replied with a smile.

 “Sleep better this time?” Zack asked, he leaned close to give her neck a couple kisses.

 “I did…I feel a lot better, I told my nightmares off,” Rachel said as she turned to face him, “I also told my dad what you said…”

 “Oh yeah?”

 Rachel lightly nodded, “It felt really damn good…”

 Zack couldn’t help but chuckle, then gave her a peck on the forehead, “Atta girl…take no bullshit!”

 The man then sat up on the bed, helping Ray up as well, “Come on, let’s go take a quick shower…”

 That sounded really nice right about now, a time to wash away all the worries before starting the new day, and with someone she was sharing her life with – even to the point of starting a new one with him.

 Whatever wanted to fill her with fear and doubt would have to fight harder, she wasn’t going to allow herself to break again, she wasn’t going to allow anything to tear her life with Zack apart by any means necessary and wouldn’t hesitate to confront any foe that would dare try. If that line of defense was broken, then they sure as hell had Isaac to deal with.

 If this kind of life wasn’t considered a happily ever after, then she’d refuse to believe what anything else was.

[haeroniel-doliet]

thoughts on ice skating

supposed to be under read more, sorry if mobile is weird! 

i mean ive missed multiple weeks and alll in all the society/ practice is quite weird like the beginners teacher dude keeps rambling off about like olympics skating or how higher levels have this and this move and look ive taught that advanced kid over there and heres how they do that technique rather than concretely helping us develop those basic skills that were apparently flawed at. like how do i do that correction youre just showing me bc clearly im about to fall over bc idk how to do it. and i tried being all professional and interested and make the most of it for myself, but cant help the frustration when it goes out of the easy shit into the stupid spins because apparently i just cant do it. be it my skates are too thin or too sharp blades or my ankle is not strong enough  or enough support thats why its going bad? idk even but i cant spin. cant do it. idk i kinda know multiple things that are fucking up and its frustrating and annoying and its just not gonna work yknow i can kinda turn 180. no i cant do the multiple spin spin spin that seems so easy. is it my skates or is it my inadequacy? im not getting new skates tho, im only here because i have my own skates a while back, im clearly so shit that im not even gonna be a milkly good figure skater im not gonna get in on that. i might as well do fuckin ballet rather than this. im actually looking into that kinda now id love to try. 

ice skating is dumb in the way that ive done it since im a child but never as a hobby, like ive done it with most the time my own owned skates since like 3-4 yrs old like young. but school only ever teaches forwards and basic backwards (apparently its cheating backwards) and basic stop and turns and idk things you learn somewhat naturally and my coolest tricks always been sausages (or bubbles as they call them here) and those are apparently baby level beginner stuff and im just :| yeah i can do those tho. and now ic an do them backwards which is kinda cool, and im more confident one foor skating/gliding. but like never as a hobby so i guess none of that matters, i did try to do intermediate and could keep up to an extent but i guess my basics are so shoddy i wasnt doing well enough for my own standards, and even now looking over tho the teacher is better and more encouraging, everyone seems to be doing crazy tricks and jumps and spins and one leg up fancy shit and im just... ya. guess i cant be over there. cant do it. lemme just stand with mr blabber mouth. it is frustrating bc yeah maybe i wanna be that intermediate level, maybe i wanna go skate with my family/old friends and show off bc look i can do like 3 4 cool things im almost a real skater. but fuck i guess my skates are limiting me and i should try use the rental skates? that are dull af but have better support? idk, ive got blisters from them the last i used them and i dont particularly wanna use shitty skates. but i dunno even what to do, i dont particularly wanna drop on some fancy skates just to find smths wrong again and im shit and cant do it. maybe id suddenly improve and feel a lot better about myself and take it as a proper hobby but realistically nah. im actually kinda frustrated i dont even know if i wanna continue. yes i have a friend that goes, yes i have skates and you only get better by spending time on ice and id like to be better bc only recently ive realised how shit i am, (trust me its confidence boosting to have skated with bambis on ice who are afraid of moving at all and then i can at least go kinda fast if i want) but i cant even turn properly, cant stop properly neither. its just ugh, i dont think im getting as much out of it as i should be, i dont know if its the teachers fault, my skates fault, or my own personality/inability. 

no im not doing the dumb kinda competition theyre organising in a few weeks. the criteria for intermediate (that i havent participated in enough anyway recently) is fuckin hops and drags (my skates do not drag! to sharp? idk) and spins and fancy shit i havent even ever tried to. yeah sure i could for the fucks of it do the beginners bc its uh, bubbles forward and backwards that i can do, and i can kind of do the chassee thing kind of. but i cant do a god damn spin for the life of me apparently so i might as well save my 5 pound and ‘pride’. ugh. besides the fun part was that he was talking abt the higher levels leg up glide thing, and had us do it against the wall bc ‘afraid well just face plant’ and i guess i can bring my leg up decently high when supported by the wall which is fun, and otherwise im not the worst of the 5 beginners that showed up. but yeah im just frustrated with it over all. dunno how long the clubs even gonna continue for, theres only one friend there that i would continue for which isnt great considering means i dont consider the others easy to make friends with or ones i could be fond of enough to over look the struggle of the hobby. 

i think my plan was to call my dad not only to ask if they had a preference for when my friend would fly down to visit  so she could buy her tickets, but i guess also i was going to say about the skate apparently being too soft and too thin/too sharp and express this frustration that i still cant do shit, that maybe even using unsharpened (and uncomfortable) rental skates could be better for skating and just wonder what im even doing abt this all. clearly not competing but idk even if we could just come to observe/skate for fun during the competition etc or if i should just skip to catch up/pack and clean idk. also im kinda annoyed at myself otherwise bc i just tuesday saw with J and shes off for a few weeks and i made such a good verbal plan saying id do an email and a summary im weeeeeks behind on on tuesday evening and prep for class today (didnt prep but it went okay anyway) and today i would have gone to class and to skating with a healthy meal (check check check) and come home to sign up and send the other email thats been bugging me, and then do my report due midnight i havent even started on. said id work after midnight if it was taking so long so id have it done..... i had a nap instead. not even a god damn shower i was planning to have tuesday and now its 3 am on thursday. ayy. sure i could skip classes tomorrow to shower and clean my room and maybe complete a task before i drag myself to an archery arrow lesson and badminton after (no thatll be fun, but ill be back rly late) but ive skipped so many classes and i wana see and be with my friends i might as well go, and if i get abandoned work on work somewhere in between classes and maybe actually get something done? gasp. shock. and still get home and do smth like clean and do dishes to be productive while anticipating fun thing, do it and come home and actually sleep bc im fuckin that over eh. but fuck. its not just that i have 1 overdue summary from two weeks ago, i have another summary due thursday night. maybe, in between classes i could do both, miraculous i guess yes but would be cool. do two summaries, send off both and an apology email for the other, take the spare chance to book myself another experiment if theyre still running and if not send an apology email bc i missed one in class one and ask what now. and then maybe even since the calendar is out get my 3 planned viewings booked so that i can see them b4 going back home and dont get fucked. maybe even add the corrections i got yesterday to my other report. wow wouldnt that be great. i could do them now but i should get to sleep right now heres hoping ill remember the corrections then. and then id need to look at the video for the assignment that was due yesterday and bring up the files and find the debrief and begin filling it in and maybe email researcher if i need to, and do the easy part. so that maybe logical me in a clean room will fill in the ethics part between classes on friday or after class or gasp on saturday bc im not going to st andrews after all... its a lot.. i hate that two days are wasted already. ugh. uGH. well get by. lets just try stay positive, now im going to sleep and wake up to go to my 11 class prepared to do some easy work between classes. yes yes. its probably weird that who ever has read this far has read all this shit and maybe i should just keep my shit personal and not post on my main blog bc surprisingly its open to anyone who just slightly would wanna see it,and though you likely dont know me in person its a bit weird huh idk. maybe this is here so my cousin can read it if she happens to , maybe its so that you can read it and be like ya i do that and i think like that too pretty cool im not alone, maybe its for me to read back and not have to be exposed to my worst ugly vents on my plain vent blog and can remain positive thomaybe not. its under read more anyway. lets try bury it guys.