#at least maddo is free

[fazcinatingblog]

I'm Zampa

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW23

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Diego Rico

IN: Jack Stephens

I feel naked and alone without my Spanish lover Rico in my team anymore but it simply had to be so. I'm floating a transfer again this week and just doing a move to give me another cheapo defender who I can rotate. As shouted on the pod at 4.3 Jack seems like a good piece to have at the back until WC with their fixtures and strong underlying defensive numbers. There were certainly other more flair moves I could do but with two Livp in I am valuing the flexibility afforded with two frees ahead of their double to make a final decision about who to get in as the third and who to remove as well.

GK:

Schmeichel (bur)

Woodman the eternal continues to never let me down the legend.

Schmike, on the other hand, suddenly finds himself positioned between a goal frame, a sieve, and the enemy. Still too early to tell if no Ndidi just means they are diabolical but Burnley have been among the worst attacks in the division recently and no Smashley kinda fucks up their balance a lot.

Could see them snap back into form and just dispatch these in an easy win to nil. Hoping for it, anyway.

DEF:

Pereira (bur)

Somehow I still have Periera. He's been by far by farrrrr my worst transfer of the season but I always seem to find a reason to hold on to him and start him. It seems extremely unlikely he is in past this weekend so maybe he'll give me a farewell gift.

Alexander-Arnold (MUN)

Trent goes again nothing to say about that. Only guy I've had since GW1...well other than Woodman of course that sweet boy.

Stephens (WOL)

Jack new friend is put straight into the fire with home Wolves. Not a good on paper fixture but I could kinda see a clean here? Maybe? Not an ideal start, but he's the best option I have and when weighing him up against the other 4.4 defenders and under it looked like his near term fixtures were the best in how he can rotate with what else I've got.

Lundstram (ars)

Lastly is Pointstram.

Another not too great feeling start but also not too bad without Aubz.

Hard to imagine where an Arsecast goal can come from other than a p3p3ga set piece banger or something like this. Don't really feel like Wilder will have any trouble marking Laca out of the game. Pointstram also eye test wise looked a lot more involved in their attack last game so maybe that is a sign of things to come.

MID:

Martial (liv)

Unfortunately I'm going to have to eat a Tony M start here at Anfield. Feels not good but I still like him as a medium term hold despite the mixed fixtures.

Still don't really have any confidence that I know what a "good" fixture is for United attack anyway so I'm just blindly following the mantra of he's playing OOP striker on a top six team so he's a hold.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Kevin up against my boys this weekend we'll see if he's at DM or not. Don't really care though, honestly.

Salah (MUN)

Third mid is Mo. Good lad.

FWD:

Maupay (AVL)

Is this the weekend of Neal? Please Neal be a good Neal one time my son.

Scenic fixture...time to capitalize...or take 1 shot and blank again as per.

I want Neal to give me a sign of life so badly because I would really still like to hold him for the near term through these fixtures. Big game for him and I'll be watching him closely.

Vardy (bur)

Vardz still in there. Whatever.

Agüero (CRY)

Kun off his monster haul good job by Kun love Kun so much.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Sticking with Vardz as shouted on the pod.

I've really not gone to the Vardy cap well too often this season but he just seems like a very strong option against a really bad team with two really bad CBs and a really bad GK. I'd honestly be surprised if he doesn't double return.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

When in doubt float your fuckin’ transfer...

I had a really brutal week and especially today, Friday, long and tough day.

No idea what I want to do but having two frees and a boatload of cash for next week seems really fun / good.

I’ll probably get rocked in the Cup this week by fuckin Wiscker by just rolling the same crew out again after last week’s bloodbath but maybe with my two frees and a pocket full of change I can roar back in the final two group matches and go through... It works out in my head at least...

GK:

Ryan (AVL)

Great fixture and a great fixture run so come on Mat gimme some points.

DEF:

van Dijk (MUN)

Everything says that this should be an easy Liverpool win and an easy Liverpool clean but who knows it’s still a derby...

United are absolutely terrible on set plays they have conceded the third most in the league and Liverpool have scored the tied for second most int he league so make of that what you will... VVDue? VVDong?

Söyüncü (bur)

Hoping for a Soy redemption song this week after that very sloppy mess of a match lass week... Burnley are very much there for the taking so go on SoyBoy.

Lundstram (ars)

I sleeper think that this is a great fixture... ok maybe great is an exaggeration because it’s not a ~banker~ but with how Arsenal’s been playing lately - very few shots and not much xG or sustained attack - plus no Aubz it just seems very cleanable and winnable for Sheff U from where I’m sitting. 

MID:

Salah (MUN)

Funny cheeky little interview he gave. Mo’s a good guy.

De Bruyne (CRY)

Easy keep.

Maddison (bur)

Time for a bounce-back from Leicester no fucking around. Maddo was such a steady tick merchant for me back in the good ole days I just want to taste that success again.

Sarr (tot)

Not a good fixture but definitely not a bad one either.

Sarr and Watty have been looking fabulous and will cause Spurs tons of problems for me.

Cantwell (BOU)

Lastly going for Big Todd Energy over Jiménez this week (feel free to thank me Jim owners) becaaaauuuuuseeeee just I don’t know gut feeling and shit.

Jim has been an extremely upsetting transfer in for me and I shouted Wolves being tired and bad and then they go out and lose to Man. Utd. in the cup with Jim playing the full 90′.

Also Jim has away Southampton which is now a really rough fixture so whatever I’m going for it here... Todd should fuck Eddie’s Bourney.

FWD:

Only the two FWDs for me this week since I’m benching Jimboy.

Vardy (bur)

Another in my triple leicester to bounce back -- what a chance for it !

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

I still believe in DCL and I had to defend the pick a little bit here and there this week and honestly it just made me feel better about it. And the fixture is fantastic. DCL gonna bang.

CAP:

Vardy (bur)

Just don’t really have another option who I think is nearly as good a cap. pick as Vardz is this week and it’s as simple as that...

If it’s close then maybe you go differential cap but if it’s not close I think you just cap the guy who everyone else is capping. Here we are.

Soz for a not exciting Lambs from me this week lol.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: dave (group 19)

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

DISCLAIMER: I AM VERY BAD AT FPL AND YOU SHOULD NOT LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY!

Fun fact: I was the person who suggested random slacker lambs earlier in the season to the pod bois. That was a time when my team was ticking along and I was optimistic about rising up the ranks over the course of the season.

Now I am in the depths of darkness and have zero expectations for my team other than red arrows and I am bad and shit at FPL and you shouldn’t even bother reading this because I’m shit. Unless you want to feel better about yourself, that is (I’m 1.5m so if you’re lower than that then I’m truly sorry – you’ll probably overtake me soon).

At least I have the FML FPL Cup to focus all my energy on. Speaking of which...

To my opponent this week, Rob, and the rest of Group 19, Jon and Max: Fuck you. I’m going to destroy you. I don’t care about my OR anymore. This is all that matters to me. (Jk prob will get 0 points and crash out in the group stage – good luck lads).

OUT: Serge Aurier

IN: Lewis Dunk

I have 2FTs but I’m just going for a fairly passive and hopefully more sensible move. When Mou became Spuds’ manager I had hopes that the defence would significantly improve (I even doubled up on their defence – oops), but alas they are still shipping goals for fun and now the child Tanganga is in the mix potentially threatening Aurier’s minutes after a decent right back performance mid-week. So just fucking him off to a similarly priced guy with good fixtures for the foreseeable future, on a team that actually appears to be capable of keeping the occasional clean sheet.

Going to roll the other FT to give me a little more flexibility next GW to increase my share of Liverpool players to at least 2. Probably will take a hit to get up to 3.

GK:

Guaita (mci)

Probably the worst fixture of the season for a defender or GK; City have several potent, in-form attacking options and could easily put up 4 or 5 (albeit Palace have been fairly solid for large portions of the season).

Just hoping Victor Vincente can pick up some some save points, a Kun pen save or two would be very welcome as a non-owner…

DEF:

Dunk (AVL)

Brighton looking very good this season generally under Graham Potter and cleaning the odd game here and there. Decent chance for one against an out of sorts Villa. Go on new friend Lewis.

Söyüncü (bur)

Soyboy has been a staple of my team for quite some time. Leicester always a shout for a clean. However, Burnley are one of those teams where I can never predict how they’re going to perform week to week, so I’m not banking on a clean by any means.

Sidibe (whu)

Difficult to predict how this one will go as West Ham are still a bit of an unknown quantity to me under new / old manager Moyseh.

Sidibe is the guy I’ll likely transition into a Liverpool defender next week but maybe he gets another go at RW this week with Richarlison confirmed out. Would be nice to get some OOP attacking farewell returns from him.

MID:

De Bruyne and Sterling (CRY)

Should just be a fuckfest for City (soz Walsh). Raz getting fairly frustrating to own but I’m keeping the faith for now.

Mané (MUN)

Another one of those games that you never know what to expect. Even while United were the dominant English team and Liverpool were complete piss, they always seemed to be able to show up for this match and up results. Could the shoe be on the other foot now? After all Utd are the only team Liverpool haven’t beaten so far this season in the PL. But I digress. Mane is obviously an auto-start in any fixture and Liverpool are the clear favourites in this one for good reason.

Maddison (bur)

He’s an absolute cunt imo. Very punchable face too. But he has undoubtedly been a very good FPL pick this season thus far. So go on James.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (whu)

2 blanks on the trot but I’m not too worried. Still think he’s great, Carlo loves him and the price is right.

Abraham (new)

Tammy back in the points lately so feels fine to hold for now. Fixtures turning to shit imminently so possibly one to monitor and maybe move on soon.

Vardy (bur)

Earlier in the season I was looking at Vardy’s stats vs. goals/assists output; I convinced myself it was unsustainable and that he would “revert to the mean” (that’s something us wankers who have no fucking clue about how underlying stats translate into FPL points say to kid ourselves that we know what we’re talking about).

It’s now clear that he is just a guy who you hold indefinitely because his points continue to roll in week after week after week.

CAP:

Sterling (CRY)

Call me an idiot.

Call me a glutton for punishment.

I capped Raz last week thinking he might just be a stroke of genius differential pick. Needless to say, that went poorly (0 mins with DCL VC, RIP). But fuck it. He goes again. I love Raz. Raz is great. He’s due – isn’t he?

Ultimately I’m just a guy who wants to get some fucking points on the board. Wish me luck.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW22

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

And for those Patreon subs who missed it we did a super late night Friday My Life episode last night. Get in there.

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Martin Kelly

IN: Brandon Williams

Doing a little puss move with two frees to save a couple doll hairs and floating the other. Guess I'm looking at Mane in for Kun so doing this buys me some more time.

Kelly I can't imagine will have a job when the window closes and with bad fixtures he's an easy sell. Like I would sell Rico instead? Laughable.

Baby Will have been eyeing up for a while now and while he might be dropped at any moment he's just a 4.0 who will slot in and the end of my bench at the worst case, and be a rotating decent option in the best case. I like his attacking intent and if slab is out then maybe they'll actually keep cleans.

GK:

Schmeichel (SOU)

Woodman legend. Get back in there. Schmike off the bench will feel like free points.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold (tot)

Trent with a tough on paper fixture but it's still Trent always feels good with him going.

Lundstram (WHU)

Pointstram finally has a good fixture so hopefully the gameweek starts off well with some points from him in the early game. Will look at adding another SheffU defender or two in their good run coming up.

Pereira (SOU)

Ricardo finally got me points last week so that was a nice thing. Not really too sure about what this game will look like with Ndidi out...but Ricardo still feels like an okay start maybe will spike an attacking return..due?

Williams (NOR)

Finally is new friend baby who I will start with Norwich visiting.

Would be third game in a week for him and it would certainly be no surprise to see Young at this spot but meh backing the boy to keep his place. He's been actively good which is not something that can be said about many of his teammates.

MID:

Just three amigos for me this weekend in mid hopefully they're good lads.

Martial (NOR)

TonyM glove merchant with a good on paper fixture which means who knows what the fuck IRL. Nice rest for him should be back to his normal self solid hold here.

De Bruyne (avl)

Kevin has a dream fixture at Villa and hopefully will not be playing DM.

Salah (tot)

Mo will be up against a bus this weekend but has been looking good lately and no reason to expect that to change.

FWD:

Vardy (SOU)

Vardz still in the fuck. Whatever.

Maupay (eve)

Neal goddammit Neal such a tormenting guy he is. I'm gonna hold him and I'm going to be subject to his will. My body is ready.

Agüero (avl)

Team is rounded out with Kun the god. Will be sacrificing babes to the alter of Pep the bauld fraud hoping this guy is on the sheet. If so, yay. If not, not yay.

CAP:

Agüero (avl)

Kun. Got the week off...still believe he is first choice..so he gets the armband. It could be great...which would be fucking great...or it could be not great which would equate to more of the same for me this season.

Feel like this is the only shout for a cricket score on the menu this weekend so I'm backing Kun. Insert shrug emoji here.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Kane and Stephens

IN: Calvert-Lewin and Sarr

I’m really pushing it close to the deadline here but I was having a panic morning of being indecisive again... Been a theme this season unfortunately...

Went back and forth with pod partner a bit on Slack and he lead me back to the source energy of Ismaïla Sarr who I’ve been wanting on my team since he got transferred to Watford and now I finally have him.

Bringing in two guys I really like and rate with enough money in the bank to go Kelly->Trent feels like I did something maybe good or at least maybe not bad.

Let’s go.

GK:

Ryan (eve)

My keeper is such a good lad donating a chunk of cash for every save this weekend you love to see it.

With that now I expect him to have double digit saves tomorrow at Goodison and maybe save a pen too. Conceding one to DCL along the way and everyone wins.

Come on Maty.

DEF:

van Dijk (tot)

Not really sure what this match is going to look like at all. I assume Spurs double-decker bus and trying to counter but we’ll see. If that ends up being the case then a clean is very real.

Söyüncü (SOU)

My guy from GW1 we’ve been through thick and thin together.

Home Soton just keep Ings out my lord please god keep Ingsy out.

Lundstram (WHU)

I still mostly think West Ham are bad and Moyesy’s Boys will be bad but there is a bit of a bounce in the air which is troubling.

Sheff U. should be able to do a job though and you’d expect them to easily win this fixture at this point with or without a bounce.

MID:

Sarr (bou)

New friend. Love it! Love him.

Was kind of popping off on the pod about his stats and stuff since Pearson came in and the eye-test absolutely follows.

Away to Eddie and the Howes come on you Hornets. Come on Sarr.

Maddison (SOU)

I guess he’s fine, we’re lead to believe that he’s fine in the press conferences so let’s go Maddo. Great pick for now.

But I am still thinking about ditching him for GWs 25-27.

Salah (tot)

Mo is great at football. And he loooooooooves playing Spurs.

De Bruyne (avl)

Kev plays his own little private game of Pep Roulette. Will heeee be at center back? Will he be at DM? Will he be at false 9? Will he be the furthest forward #8? No one knows... But City should destroy these and Kev will probably get some points no matter where he’s playing.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (BHA)

Against my keeper whatever doesn’t matter let’s go DCL.

Been high on him since the end of last season through the summer and then they bought Kean and I got rid... But now he’s back and nailed and looking good so I’m back in. Come on DCL tit me.

Vardy (SOU)

It’s funny that people got rid.

Jiménez (NEW)

Still waiting for my first Jimi points but home Newc oh baby it should come this week for suuuureeeeeeee dude.

CAP:

Jiménez (NEW)

Let’s do it.

It’s time.

He only has two double-digit hauls on the season (funny enough both vs. Man City) but I mean come on Newcastle are really really truly terrible and Wolves will want to bounce back after losing to Watford last week.

It’s time. Go on Jim.

[fmlfpl]

Happy New Year Lineup Lamentations - GW21

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Team seems reasonable enough for this GW and don't really see a straight swap that is great for me to do.

I have a few things in mind with two frees next GW to do so saving feels pretty responsible to me. Get another gameweeks worth of info and maybe do a -4 triple move next looks likely.

GK:

Schmeichel (new)

Woodman has been an able servant for me recently since I began to start him and I see no reason to change that now.

Schmikes is a cuck so I'm happy to bench him for the rest of the season / for however much longer I own the fuck.

DEF:

Pereira (new)

If Ricardo doesn't get me points tomorrow I'll be beside myself. He's hung 4 points in my team over the 5 gameweeks since I purchased him and is looking like my worst transfer in of the season to date...which is really fucking hard since there is a ton - and I mean a ton - of competition for that honor.

I really want to keep patient with him since they have a good run of games right now but he's pretty expensive. Perhaps I'll stick with double Leic defense and downshift him to one of the other guys to free up money...uncertain...we'll see.

Alexander-Arnold (SHU)

Trent still in there as he has been since GW1 for me. Nothing to say about him. Not worried about him starting - feel like Kloppo will go strong again and then give the first team a long break.

Kelly (nor)

Kelly jesus christ been back to making me want to kill myself again lately...but I think a clean is once again a reasonable shout for us. We'll park at Norwich which they probably haven't really faced once all season?

Hard to imagine them being able to break us down. That is to say if they are required to - Kelly assist to Pukki is always on.

Rico (whu)

Lastly is Rico. Hoping for 1 point..expecting 0.

MID:

Salah (SHU)

Mo been absurd in the underlying stat category and absurdly shit in the actual fpl point category. He stays.

Martial (ars)

Tony M glove merchant has been doing good things recently and feels like a very good hold for as long as he's fit. Could die any day goes without saying but tip of the spear and looking good feeling good.

Also no coincidence that his uptick in performances has come with an uptick in glove wearing with short sleeves. Get in there Tone.

De Bruyne (EVE)

Last guy is Kevin. Good Kevining.

FWD:

Agüero (EVE)

Kun came in with a cap goal for me last GW and it was a really nice feeling. No clue if he starts tomorrow...and for that reason..I'm not capping him.

Vardy (new)

Vardz back off his rest picks himself whatever we are all playing this game with 10 men and have been for a month or so now.

Maupay (CHE)

Lastly is Neal. Fucking Neal been doing my head in.

Hopefully he has a good performance against Chelsea and they have gr0b back and shit and they can create a bit more than they did last game. Really dunno about Neal. Have been fawning over him from a distance for a long long while but now that he's in there is just something that does not fill me with confidence even though he should probablyyyy tick along well in this medium-long term good fixture run for his price.

Come on Neal let's go Neal.

CAP:

Vardy (new)

Vardz for me.

Played around with some perversity but the final check with the wife confirmed Vardy. Wife says "I've never heard you say Vardy disappointed me but I've heard you say Mo disappointed me many times"...not wrong wife of mine....not wrong.

Realistically all the points echoed on the pod still ring true to me. Not getting a huge urge to go elsewhere and I think that it's lopsided enough in Vardy's favor compared to the others to keep me on him. glhf.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Off of the biggest red arrow of my season (life?) ushering in my worst rank of the season (life?) I’m just saving because I can’t find a punt who is worth it and my lineup and my depth are both fine.

Will I just plunge into a deeper and darker hole? Yeah I suspect I probably will... My team sucks outside of the guys who everyone owns. I see very few margins where I’d be gaining on the field even at my monstrous ranking so I’ll just take another one on the chin and reassess next week I guess...

If I end up wildcarding for next GW then I’ll regret saving my transfer this week but if I don’t end up wildcarding then this is definitely the right move to try and yank my team out of the hellhole where it currently resides.

GK:

Ryan (CHE)

I got him because of the saves and the bonus points and he hasn’t gotten a single bap since GW12 so that’s all going perfectly according to plan.

Was cool and a little bit confusing to see a “6″ in my GK slot last week and well I’m over the confusion part and I’m ready to see points come in again.

Fuck Chelsea come on Mat.

DEF:

van Dijk (SHU)

Sheff U are tough man. They out xG’d City just a couple days ago which is a thing that never ever happens.

I’m sure they’ll manufacture at least a couple of decent chances just gotta hope that the CBs and the GK keep playing at this elite high level and then it should be a clean.

Söyüncü (new)

I expect Leicester to go back to being tight and no better place to kick it off then the least progressive team in the division.

Kelly (nor)

I don’t support Palace so I don’t directly feel the pain and anguish that Walsh does when Kelly does something really stupid and really bad to lose the clean, although it is annoying.

I still feel fine with him in general and content with Palace’s ability to park and yeah in good fixtures he’s still a good guy to have in there for me.

MID:

Salah (SHU)

If you build it, points will come.

Maddison (new)

Feeling really good about Maddo for these next four.

Might yo-yo him in and out GW25-GW27 with three hard fixtures in a row and then bring him right back for the good run following it.

It seems like in the tough ones Leicester play too conservatively and have a very hard time threatening goal.

De Bruyne (EVE)

Good guy. I hope Bilva keeps starting in that sorta deeper #8 role and Dilva doesn’t come straight back in. That’d be best for Kev.

Cantwell (CRY)

Rolling with that BTE - Big Todd Energy - into the new year.

Hoping his ~1.5 shots per 90 are good chances and go into the back of the net.

FWD:

Kane (sou)

Don’t like this one for Kane but who knows; Spurs are so hard to predict.

Soton has been playing well lately and they don’t concede much. The press looks good the team looks good and all of a sudden it’s sorta hard to imagine them getting relegated.

Hoping Mou goes for some guys who can pass in the midfield because that’d be a nice thing for Harry. And maybe he’ll draw another penno... Seems very possible with the nut-jobs Cedric/Bednarek/Stephens/Berty.

Vardy (new)

Whatevs, boring.

Jiménez (wat)

New guy didn’t get a start last week so hopefully this is when he begins ticking and being a friend of mine for the rest of the season... Fully expecting his returns to fall of a cliff beginning this GW.

CAP:

Vardy (new)

I wanted, desperately, to find someone else who seems reasonable to cap for me but I just couldn’t find anything. A lot of bad matchups and bad teams and Vardy and Leicester playing Newcastle off of a rest it’s just too good. It’s automatic.

So we’re all playing without a captain this week and that’ll somehow go very badly for me, not sure how yet, but it will.

Happy New Year fuckers.

—

NOT RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: desertbug

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

Well, Happy New Year everybody, and may the points flow freely.  At least for us... who cares about the rest of the world playing this game, right?

Not sure I covered myself in glory with my prior stab at Guest Lambs but I'm going to put that on Emery's misuse of Aubz, rather than anything that I actually had wrong, right?

But how did we let him go without marveling that his full name was Unai Emery Etxegoien?  No wonder he was always confused out there, he was probably still trying to figure out how to pronounce his own name.

Anyway, here we go...

OUT: Maddison

IN: Martial

I know it may be a matter of not giving Maddison enough of a chance, since I just brought him in a few weeks ago and his underperformance came in Leic's toughest fixtures of the year, but: A) I was feeling really bad about not having a pair of gloves for the winter, and B) I was feeling really bad about not having anybody to reap points from this week against Arsenal's misguided ineptitude of a defense.

United still seem to do poorly against teams who park a defensive bus, but Arsenal is totally incapable of doing such and won't dare to do so at home with new manager against big name opponent.  Knives out, Tony, get me some points.

Oh yeah, and making the move also because C) I really just dislike Maddison and I think he's overrated.  He hasn't delivered against a quality defense since GW11 vs Palace and since then, he had a goal at home vs Arsenal, a goal at home vs Watford, and two assists at Villa.  Apart from that, six blanks vs bha, EVE, NOR, mci, LIV and whu.  Don't know why I got him in the first place, but new year, new midfielder.

GK:

Henderson (liv)

Not great at all, but maybe some saves.  I know we've been banging on about how keeper moves are a waste, but Pope to Hendo back for GW16 has been OK for me, net +7 since the change.  No options for me though, since my other keeper is plying his trade in Swansea.

DEF:

ALPHABET CITY -- TAA/VVD (SHU)

Alphabet soup combo of Trent and Virgil looks like tasty meal for some time now.  Mmm mmm good.  

Söyüncü (new)

Need Foxes to get their defensive capabilities straightened out again and a match with the third-lowest scoring team in the EPL might be the thing to get happy against after the woodchipper that Leicester just went through.

MID:

De Bruyne (EVE)

For my Everton boys' sake, I hope the damage is fairly limited, because Kev points are almost meaningless anymore, what with him being in 50% of teams. Don't really see him as being a huge cap shout, so probably just meaningless points.

Mane (SHU) 

Wary that he could rest at any time, and Liverpool does have a derb with Everton coming up on Sunday, but he's certainly not going to be any place other than in my starting eleven for tomorrow.  Probably a good reason not to cap him though.

Alli (sot)

Spurs certainly shat the bed at Norwich last GW, and may still be misfiring this week without Kicky McKickerSUON in the lineup, but Soton are dire, and even Dier might put up points against them.

As above with Mane, Alli an autostart while healthy.

Martial (ars)

Get in there, new boy, and show me some points against that Arsenal defense.  Wouldn't be a crazy cap shout, but not the smartest move, either.

Cantwell (CRY)

Todd is well rested, and my only real roster choice to be made came down to playing him or playing Kelly.  Just going to stick to basics and start the attacker at home, here.

FWD:

Vardy (new)

Well-rested after being off last GW on new-baby duty, Vardz strikes me as the kinda guy who would much rather be out there terrorizing whatever kind of makeshift injury-addled defense Steve Bruce is able to throw together than being at home with his new babyspawn.

Steve Bruce still doesn't know if he's on a ship or a chicken farm.

Abraham (bha)

May well be Tamela's last chance in my lineup, so he'd better get out there and do something with it.  I appreciate the goal he gave me this last GW, but Chelsea still seem rather diabolical and I'm perfectly comfortable going without him for a bit if that's the way it goes.

If I had any inkling that OGS might realize that Greenwood is actually really good and should be starting, I'd love to stick him in as a starter in place of Tammy, but that would require OGS to actually be smart and I don't think that was under his Christmas tree.

CAP:

Vardy (new)

Game theory out the window.

Owned by 51% and even without that, seems like the best of my options for this week.  Don't feel like this is the GW to be either brave OR stupid.  Won't gain ground by capping and I'd expect that if he flops, we all flop together and I won't lose much ground either.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW19

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

Sorry for the super super late boxing day lambs this week I (Alon) was just hanging in Slack and panicking and yeah whatever here we go lol...

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Son, Rashford, Kane

IN (for -4 points hit): Salah, Agüero, Benteke

Out with the old in with the new. A Christmas hit for my shit ass team getting rid of fucks who I hate for some lovers.

Happy to be rid of the Harold Kane shaped and sized millstone around my neck in this moment.

Mo speaks for himself, pretty easy move in and it feels nice to have him back in the squad again.

Kun is certainly premature and dumb but fuck me if I'm going to sit here with Kane in my team wanting to kill myself for another week. Kun haven't owned all year and I didn't want to dither and find reasons not to get him (there are many). Just getting the Chef Kun in and will enjoy the few minutes he happens to play.

Rashford similarly just made me want to cry watching United with 9m invested in him up top. I'm sure he'll bang against Newc but whatever. I'm going nowhere fast this season so meh.

People thought I was just taking the piss with the Benteke chat I think so piss straight into your face with him directly into my team. Genuinely think he's looked really good and at his price with the next few games looking good who knows. Probably keeping Neal's place warm for this little short run but I was having the feels for Bentekkerz so he's in.

GK:

Schmeichel (LIV)

Schmikes came in with almost as many points as Pope again...what a guy. Been a disaster since I binned down a handful of points to Pope in addition to spending more money and using a transfer. Yay. At least they have a good run after the Livp game.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold (lei) & Pereira (LIV)

Trent and Ricardo face off tomorrow - expecting 0 cleans but maybe an assist between both? Wouldn't mind that. Still going to just ride the tide with these two expensive fucks while everyone around me gets free / cheap cleans from other players. Going great this season.

Kelly (WHU)

Kelly has home Wet Spam and I really am not expecting a clean in this one for some reason. They've had an extended break and have been preparing for us for a while now. Hopefully they are just off the pace with such a long break and suck? Not sure, but not feeling hugely hopeful. Still a good on paper fixture so will roll with Kelly again.

Lundstram (WAT)

Pointstram has a good home fix against Pearson. They've looked okay on the counter but they are still bad to me. Last game before Sheffu have a really rough 4 of their next 5 games so hoping for a parting gift from Pointstram before he hits my bench.

MID:

Martial (NEW)

Tony M was actually good last game after some time dulled my emotional fury towards my team. Unlike Rash, he's actually pretty cheap, and so the blanks are easier to take for me. I also actually like Tony a lot so I'm going to stick with him for a little more. He's always had a good understanding with his french friend Paul so maybe he'll start to bang with his friend back.

De Bruyne (wol)

Kevin still just doing Kevin things. At Wolves I still don't know what Wolves are up to. They were disgusting against Norwich and if they play that way against City they will probably lose 0-4.

Salah (lei)

Last mid is Mo. Good guy Mo is back in and feels nice to have in.

FWD:

Agüero (wol)

Kun back in for the first time this season just feels incredible to look at my team and see his name in there as it always has and always will. Who knows how many games he'll start or not start in this near term, Pep bald lying fraud certainly won't tell us, so I'm just going off blind faith in this moment. Maybe he'll be nice and fresh off this injury break and be a god.

Vardy (LIV)

Vardz still in there. Hasn't blanked in 10 gameweeks don't even know what life is with him anymore.

Benteke (WHU)

Lastly is other new friend Benteke.....

CAP:

Benteke (WHU)

Benteke baby. It's all happening tomorrow.

Gotta cap the 0g 0a man who is certainly due - that's how this works, right? 

Realistically everyone else has big problems to me and while Benteke's big problem is his name is Christian Benteke..at this point I'm just going with a gut feel. I think we could bag a few against West Ham tomorrow so just going with it. I fucking blank my life away on cap every week all season this year anyway so what am I really doing here. Dunno. Just having some fun so fuck off.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Hayden

IN: Cantwell

A lot of this and a lot of that and I landed with the most passive move possible and floating my other free for next GW.

Isaac Hayden will finally NOT find his way into my team for the first time it feels like all season... That’s cool...

Norwich are still bad but by my eye they’re back to playing nice stuff and Todd is back being cocky and doing dances and shit and with Aston Villa this week there should be goals there. Hoping Todd can forgive me for binning him a long time ago and get back to the good stuff.

I ended up keeping Kane (for lots of ~reasons~) and not getting Liverpool mid *yet* and just laying low. Giving Kane and Alli and Pulisic their great fixtures and seeing what’s what for next GW.

GK:

Ryan (tot)

Don’t make me type about my keeper every week. Good god... Gonna just pretend there’s a chance of getting save points or bones or something cool that other keepers get... Brighton have mostly good fixtures for the next like 11 GWs so I’m just hoping holding will yield points. Works for everyone else. Why not me?

DEF:

Lundstram (WAT)

Lundy banker.

van Dijk (lei)

VVDong always VVDue.

Clean is unlikely but also Liverpool held Leicester to two shots at Anfield so if it’s that one-sided again this time a clean could be on the cards.

Kelly (WHU)

Good fixture for Palace and Kelly... Feel similarly to Walsh that this will just eventually fold via sustained West Ham pressure but who knows sometimes they’re just dog shit also... Come on Martin.

MID:

De Bruyne (wol)

Kev’s a good pick.

Pulisic (SOU)

Lol.

Cantwell (avl)

Todd in ahead of Maddo I think is a no-brainer this week. Repay the faith Todd. Do it. And let the English see you do it.

Alli (BHA)

Alli kinda exploded at first and had his anomaly massive insane match against Bournemouth - well I’m hoping it wasn’t an anomaly because he’s been utter shit the last two. Come on Alli.

FWD:

Kane (BHA)

I’m too lazy and it’s 2am so I’m just copy/pasting what I wrote in our Slack:

"a bunch of reasons i back those stats i posted in #statzz i also just have a gut feel. feels like every time me and walsh have unanimously banished someone to FPL hell this season it's backfired so i'm trying to find reasons... why not to do that? it does seem particularly bad timing with the fixture run and those #s and gut feel and i'm just like hmm maybe i'll keep actually... and also another part of it is i think i still want 3 forwards. in the future his spot might be kun or jim or aubz or someone like that and i feel like i want to keep that slot and reevaluate soon. starting every match isn't a bad thing either... just a buncha reasons i guess."

Vardy (LIV)

Whatever.

Abraham (SOU)

Comparing Tammy’s numbers pre-injury and post-injury they’re actually still totally elite and in some specific areas his underlying stats are even BETTER.

Just need him to find his finishing boots... Is this the week?

CAP:

Kane (BHA)

Fuck it man. I don’t know.

I DON’T KNOW!!!

Very tough crazy week for cap and here I am.

I’ve made my bed and now I’m gonna wet it and then I’m gonna lie in it. Seems good!!!

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW16

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Pope and Robertson

IN: Schmeichel and Pereira

Buying two defenders from the best defense in the league seems good.

Going to hold fire on Trent after the emotions faded with the passage of a little bit of time since the pod. I still have problems, but hey, what else is new? Not owning only one Leic player like an absolute fucking idiot anymore will probably not be bad or maybe it will be bad I'm not sure. We'll see.

GK:

Schmeichel (avl)

Free at last.

Not owning Pope anymore is great feels. Schmike doesn't make saves for his fucking life but whatever. I had the money for him and since all the expensive players are shit this year I didn't feel the need to pinch pennies here.

DEF:

Kelly (wat)

Nowhere to start in defense other than Martin Kelly.

Absolute god and legend I love him so much. Get in there Martin you're the best.

Alexander-Arnold (bou)

Trent remains...whatever. Hopefully he doesn't start so I get some points off the bench.

Pereira (avl)

New friend Ricardo is in there. Don't think I've ever owned him in FPL before and don't really have a lot of feelings towards him or about him. Seems fine, whatever.

Lundstram (nor)

Pointstram has not been pointstramming lately but they still have good fixtures and he's still playing as an attacking midfielder. No issue being patient with him.

Good fixture and I don't really buy "Norwich are good again" they have looked shit by my eye getting bossed and just happened to finish their extremely small quantity of chances they have created.

MID:

De Bruyne (MUN)

Kev has the darb..not great..but at least it's at home.

Could see him picking up a return and still fine to hold him for the long term not think much about it.

Son (BUR)

Swan looking fine hopefully he starts and expecting them to boss Burnley to fuck this weekend. Already thru in UCL so hoping he just rides the horses this weekend.

Özil (whu)

Finally is Ozil.

Still hate to see him stuck on the left wing but I love him and he makes me happy so I will stand by my man in opposition of stats and reason.

FWD:

Kane (BUR)

Maybe Kane will be good tomorrow against Burnley? Who knows. Just seemed like less of a priority to turn him into Alli than doing the GK and defense moves. Could always get a brace with some lucky shit and a pen although he is on borrowed time.

Lacazette (whu)

Laca also just looks like a very bad pick. He's probably more of a problem than Kane if we're honest here, but with a good fixture I didn't really want to take a hit in a GW where we might see rotation.

Vardy (avl)

Last guy is Vardz obv. Nothing to say about that.

CAP:

Son (BUR)

Swan cap this weekend for me. If Kane out points him I'll be beside myself, so I should probably spend the rest of the night preparing for this to become my reality tomorrow.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Connolly, Salah, Gazzaniga

IN (for -4 points hit): Abraham, Alli, Ryan

The hits are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

Uhh yeah so I finally got rid of Mo and I returned to the elite Tammy and I got Alli who is great and Ryan who is great so that seems great.

I guess I should address not going for Mané and instead spreading the funds around especially as me and Pod Partner both agreed that Mané is very clearly the best mid in the game... I just don’t know what Liverpool are up to for the month of December besides picking up lots and lots of points they also will be rotating a TONNNNN as Klopp did last season and this season there are even more matches. I’m not confident in Mané starting tomorrow after playing all of the 90′s and I’m not sure who is gonna start when and who is gonna get subbed early when and long story short it makes me not think of Sadio as a cap option and so I’m like just gonna enjoy the club I support being great and fuck’em off in FPL for now... I always underrate my teams and so whatever I get to just love all of the Liverpool players and be happy when they score and not think about’em for FPL. Whatevs.

And lastly I used to think that taking a -4 for a GK transfer was diabolical, after all, you only have the chance (over one week) to nullify the hit with a clean which would be ridiculous to nail in one week so it’s dumb. But despite being the lowest scoring position in the game by far it’s also the position we blindly hold for longest stretches of time so hitting out a GK who sucks dick (Gaz) for a keeper who shits bonus points on a team I love (Ryan) is actually very obvious... Brighton have good fixtures basically until March (similar to Palace’s) so over the next 15-20 GWs four points is absolutely nothing... Will I finally make a good GK transfer? Probably not so I am sorry to all other Ryan owners.

GK:

Ryan (WOL)

Wolves at home is definitely a cleanable fixture they’re a middle of the table attacking side and Brighton should boss possession.

Either way Ryan is capable of save points and bones so I’m just hoping this guy called Mat with one T from Australia can save me from my black hole of GK picks preceding.

DEF:

van Dijk (bou)

VVD just is not a good pick right now because Liverpool isn’t capable of keeping cleans right now. At least he’ll play every match in the pileup and can score a goal vs anyone. Here here to more VVDongs.

Lundstram (nor)

Don’t really expect a clean here and Sheff are in a bit of a rut but Lundy is always capable of an assist or goal and Norwich suck at defending so hoping he finds a return somehow someway.

Söyüncü (avl)

Also don’t really expect a clean here at Villa Park which is always turned the fuck up especially against the flying Leicester side.

That said, Leicester have been easily the best defensive side in the league this season and therefore you start your Leicester guys.

MID:

Alli (BUR)

New bro ready to fuck.

Excited to own Alli who is flying atm. Home Burnley is a decent attacking fixture and Spurs could score ~4 here.

Pulisic (eve)

He passes every test there is stats, expected stats, eye-test, but the points have not followed... Generally that means that the points are coming and away to Everton is a fabulous fixture to break one’s duck. Go on Puli.

Maddison (avl)

So Maddo I guess at this point I’m relatively content to just hold. I don’t fucking know man...

The points will trickle in and Leicester are good and he’s good.

De Bruyne (MUN)

Kev will break outta the funk eventually and even though City aren’t flying atm like they were earlier they will also hit their stride eventually. Maybe putting four passed Burnley was the jumping off point but we’ll see I guess.

Still feel fine with Kev and he will still trickle in points.

FWD:

Kane (BUR)

Probably Kane’s final game in my side. Him out for a hit with this fixture just seemed stupid. Could easily brace even though he’s a donkey piece of shit.

Vardy (avl)

Yeah yeah.

Abraham (eve)

Good to have Tammy back. Fucking ridiculously stupid and annoying that he didn’t price drop by like 0.5 but whatever he’s back in my side and fine.

Great fixture and I always expect him to return against all the minnows.

CAP:

Vardy (avl)

Almost talked myself into going differential cap but honestly my rank is 5 billion so I’m competing with probably lots of teams who are not on Vardy cap so the points are actually significant for me...

Trying to not be a total nightmare idiot and put some respect on my name but that’s probably a joke and I’ll probably see red again.

Hate this game and life.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: TIOCFAIDH ÁRNAUTOVIC

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Tomori, Pope

IN (for -4 points hit): Kelly, Guaita

A -4 this week, my third hit of the season and it doesn’t feel GREAT. If I’m being honest I was drinking and made the moves on a whim when I could have easily rolled this week but hey hits are fun right???

Last weeks nightmare of rico > PVA resulted in net negative points but brought me a lot of joy no longer having Rico AND it just made me even more excited about the perversity of all the Palace D. Unfortunately seems like PVA could be out for a while but I’ll deal with that later, Chelsea cleans look shaky at best and Pope has to go, WOY IN.

GK:

Guaita (wat)

New keeper new life, hoping for 6 points, expecting 2. Maybe 2 bad fixtures until late March? Absurd run… I was raised by protestants so they’ll be extremely happy Pope’s gone.

DEF:

Söyüncü (avl)

Seeing a direct correlation with xUmlaut and xCleans. Love this man and after several benched cleans he’s nailed his way into my team. Decent fixture away villa, a lot of aways for my 11 this week… lets hope my boys are in the mood to travel. I hear Birmingham’s lovely this time of year. 

Alexander-Arnold (bou)

Doesn’t feel great, cleans are a thing of the past around Merseyside but loves to pop up with returns… something tells me this might be the week the clean curse is broken.  Or fucking Solanke will dong idk logic left the rooms weeks ago, but for now Trent stays.

Lundstram (nor)

Sheff D looking slightly concerning recently yet the hero of this season is in my 11 every week and it’ll take a lot for that to change. Pukki will wipe the clean as per but Lundy will do bits, he always does.

Kelly (wat)

PVAs injury means I can’t quite reach the heights of perversity I’m aiming for but double Palace D has the semi ready and rocking. We’re only at half mast today sadly but my body is ready.

MID:

De Bruyne (MUN)

A lot of people dropping Kev right now, seems fine but my gut is telling me hold is the way to go. Money is aplenty anyway with all the budget options flying around he’ll tick. Can see double figures this week, expecting City to demolish United.

Son (BUR)

Son’s always good to me, he always has been and always will.

Playing a bit wider than I’d hope under Mou but I trust the points will come. He’s just good! Alli may be the way to go but feels good having a share of the Spurs mids and I’m pretty confident this a medium term hold at least, unless Mou makes some drastic changes.

Mané (bou)

Lotta games coming up and a massive one for Pool midweek, this is prime time for a rest… but everyone has him anyway so no biggie. Starting but not capping feels the way to go. A 20 minute performance could see a brace with easy against Howe’s boys anyway.

FWD:

Aubameyang (whu)

This was a very knee jerky 3 game punt and I’m lucky he’s done anything for me. Got the extremely lucky brace then a blank. He’s reverse OOP on one of the worst Arsenal sides I’ve ever seen. Any return and I’ll be ecstatic, no clue what could happen in a London derby with W. ham, could be a 1 pointer, could be a hatty – Anyway always good to have a big hitter in the last game, it gives you hope and often there isn’t much else to keep you going.

Ings (new)

This guy…this man has returned every game I’ve owned him. Over 30 points in the last 4 GWs for a budget price. What more can you want? I don’t think he stays for long no way his toothpick bones holds up to the festive fixtures but more than happy to run him out again. Lotta love Danny <3

Vardy (avl)

Does anything need said at all? We live in turbulent times, one thing I can rely on in a Vardy return. No shit will be chatted from myself.  

CAP:

Vardy (avl)

No fucking about this week, double Palace D, Ings, Son and Auba are where I’m looking to gain ground. Going out tonight so I’ll be on the WKD. Ready for the party that never ends.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW15

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Gonna save this midweek. Team looks okay and while I am expecting a bunch of fuckery from Pope the cuck I feel like having two frees into the weekend will give me more flexibility to figure out what I'm doing with my life.

GK:

Pope (MCI)

Pope, perhaps farewell game, fuck you.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (EVE)

Trent and Robbo go in the 1 goal conceded darb. Hopefully I find an assist between the pair lest I receive two blanks instead. Welp.

Lundstram (NEW)

Poinstram home banker looks like a good home banker. Not much to say here besides everyone owns him and no one cares.

Kelly (BOU)

Last friend is my actual best friend and his name is Martin Kelly. His name is Martin Kelly. His name is Martin Kelly. His name is Martin Kelly.

MID:

De Bruyne (bur)

Kevin remains as my sole citeh asset. I continue to be generally underwhelmed by him but he keeps returning. Fine guy to hold I guess.

Son (mun)

Swan goes to OT in what could be a goalfest game. Seems okay...not expecting the world but also not expecting United's defense to be able to handle these.

Ozil (BHA)

Last but not least is the bug eyed mantis god himself mister ozil. Easy game easy life..haul incoming.

FWD:

Kane (mun), Lacazette (BHA), and Vardy (WAT)

Lotta beef up top for me with Kane, Laca and Vardz. Hopefully Kane bangs and Laca does a better job of doing shit. Vardz...like Pointstram..no one cares.

CAP:

Lacazette (BHA)

Laca. Fuck you, up the arse.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Full blown 8am panic this morning for me before packing and heading to the airport with what to do with Salah...

Like I said on the pod I’m fairly certain that he’ll be out of my team soooooon (Maddo too probably) but also I don’t know for who, Son or Raz or Mane or Alli being the likeliest lads.

In the end when I’m this unsure of myself and unsure of life and rallying off red arrows for fun it’s sometimes better to just save and roll the transfer and with more time and info and better fixtures I can figure out my moves next week. Probably fuck off three players for a hit and get in Son/Alli and a premium and one other swap maybe Tomori to Kelly or something for the funds...

For now saving feels sorta stale and bad but it’s fine and normal and what I’m used to. Much of life, FPL, and bread is both stale and bad.

GK:

Gazzaniga (mun)

Can’t wait to see how many goals they concede this time.

No faith.

DEF:

van Dijk (EVE)

Clean? Dong? Hopefully something... VVD is forever a legend though the one prem match I go to this season he braces what an actual god.

Lundstram (NEW)

Yeah yeah everyone has him everyone is starting him his points are basically null.

Söyüncü (WAT)

And now everyone has Soy or at least one Leicester defender too so also feels like sort’ve an empty spot in my team which sucks but I duno it’s a good cleanable fixture and maybe Soy will get on the end of one.

MID:

Salah (EVE)

Don’t ask just leave me alone.

De Bruyne (bur)

City will keep scoring goals and Kev will keep trickling points.

Pulisic (AVL)

I had my Pulisic rant on the pod and also there’s this StatsBomb article and basically TLDR Pulisic is a great fucking pick and he’s gonna fuck.

Maddison (WAT)

Fucking Maddo. Also had my Maddo rant :(...

One time can I get a Maddo corner to Soy dong? One fucking time before I fuck this kid outta my life??? Watford concede set piece goals like it’s their day job... I can dream...

FWD:

Kane (mun)

Was a very sad acceptance on the pod of Kane possibly still just being a slow donkey piece of shit bad pick worst pick of the lot on Spurs but... Again... I can dream.

Vardy (WAT)

Auto.

Connolly (ars)

Had no numbers to speak of vs. Liverpool but he was a little live-wire and almost got in behind a few times if it wasn’t for VVD saving tackles. Eye-test in. And against Arsenal I like his chances.

CAP:

Vardy (WAT)

Whatever.

Would love some smart stats person to figure out the game theory behind what to do when everyone is going to be capping the same player.

Is it actually better to consistently go against the grain on these? Or is it better to follow the field and get your points elsewhere? My brain isn’t big enough to figure out the maths behind that but surely there is someone out there who can do it...

Game theory in.

—

RANDOM SLACKER OF THE WEEK: DEWITT

The words of Random Slacker are not officially endorsed by this website nor any employees of FML FPL LLC.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Moves are fun and hits are great so that was tempting but I’ve decided to roll a free this GW.

The move that stood out was upgrading Dendocker to Grealish in a straight swap but that sounded better in my head and less good after talking with some guys. Grealish wouldn’t be starting for me and that’s a little too much money in the bank. Also, che, LEI, shu aren’t the best upcoming fixtures.

Probably gonna look at a double move next GW and strongly consider moving Maddison to Alli’s brother.

GK:

Gazzaniga (mun)

Who in the hell knows how this match is gonna go down? I’m definitely not expecting a clean but United is still a shitshow so anything could happen. Spuds could also concede like four goals and I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised.

I’ll give Gazz a few more weeks and reassess his spot in my squad.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (EVE)

I say this every week and then I’m always disappointed but this should be an easy clean IMO. Everton are clinging on for dear life and played a super defensive lineup and formation against Leicester. I’d expect a similar lineup against Liverpool and that shouldn’t be a problem for the Reds. WHO THE FUCK KNOWS THOUGH? Adrian might just not give a shit and nothing matters.

Lundstram (NEW)

Probably the best clean shout fixture in the division so feels good starting Lundy boy here. He also doesn’t even play defender so starting him as one feels awesome still. Twitter has shouted him as a cap shout and I still think that’s pure fuckery.

MID:

Mané (EVE)

Mane is just in amazing form and honestly not even a bad cap shout this week. With Salah still not back fully fit, Mane is their primary means of attacking and supplied by the best fullbacks in the world so smiles all around.

Maddison (WAT)

Leicester are good and Watford are very bad. This is easy.

Pulisic (AVL)

Disappointed in the lack of returns against piss poor WHU but Pulisic still looked their best attacker and Aston Villa aren’t world beaters, but not terrible. Let’s go Captain America.

Son (mun)

Even with me being pretty new to EPL and FPL, Son is a fucking joy to watch. Just running 24/7 and grinning ear to ear. He may be due a rest soon but Mou doesn’t typically rotate a lot and will want to demolish United.

FWD:

Vardy (WAT)

The crackhead man is on fucking fire. He just keeps scoring goals and now he’s finally shooting more too. I don’t exactly love Vardy as person or player but you can’t avoid having him now, he’s just bad. Best FPL striker right now.

Rashford (TOT)

Rashford is another player in great form. United still don’t look too great but Rash continues to tick. Had a goal stolen from him last week but I’m not upset about it at all.

Ings (NOR)

Home Norwich is still a great attacking fixture and Mr. No Knees is ticking along, even with his bullshit non-involvement goal last weekend. I’d expect at least one attacking return this week but he could easily be rested too. What do I know though?

CAP:

Vardy (WAT)

Easiest decision I’ve made in a long time. Let’s go crackhead.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW7

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: McGinn

IN: Mount

Okay fam, I fucked up this week.

Hands in the air this one is on me but I fucked myself by not moving on Wednesday before price changes where both Tammy and Mount went up so I am 0.1 away now from doing the double swap.

Was waiting for all the cup games to end and then was planning on getting Tammy in before his rise...totally forgot... Mount rose as well and so fuck me. Vacation mode throwing me properly off over here so what can I do? I am but a flawed human and I will live with the consequences of my dumbassedry.

Ultimately I am feeling that removing McGinn is better than removing Haller especially with this news that Lanzini has been training and is back. I just don't think Villa look very good in general and will continue to seriously struggle for goals even though McGinn has good underlying numbers and shit I think he's just a bit meh.

Haller has been bad but looks incredible irl eye test and so who knows the fixture is pretty good from an attacking sense maybe I get really lucky here but I will not tell you all any lies... it feels fucking bad to not have Tamela in this moment. I did contemplate a hit to get Tam in but ultimately felt like it had more of a chance to blow up in my face than work out gangbusters so I'm going to just do the one move...float...and check out what is what next gameweek with two frees after UCL and shit. Seems okay...

Who am I kidding? complete nightmare disaster I'm dumb and I hate myself.

GK:

Pope (avl)

Pope remains from GW1 after popping back into the good graces with a clean last week. Still great fixtures and he's great so an easy hold set and forget type of lad. Good boy Pope.

DEF:

Three at the back for me this gameweek in an unusual turn of events for my squadron.

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (shu)

Trent and R0bbo go to Sheffield United in what should be a clean banker. If Sheffu can only muster two shots against Everton then not expecting fireworks here against Livp. Granted they are home...but still..come on. Get it done here boys...time for another clean.

Otamendi (eve)

Third guy is NicoOta who somehow just threw up a ridiculous haul last game. Maybe the answer is just Dinho in and they'll keep cleaning like we thought they would. Who knows. I don't and I still think (read: know) Ota is a nightmare but at the moment the price is right and the nail is on.

At Everton suddenly seems like a dreamland fixture as they drag their feet until their manager gets the sack lunch. Get in.

MID:

Salah (shu) & Sterling & De Bruyne (eve)

Still on the three big boppers Mo, Raz, and Kevin.

All three great guys, I’m happy to see people selling Raz hope he drops 1m in price he is going nowhere from my team little razzy baby will come back with a vengeance to punish the non believing heathens.

Mo looked really bad and off it last game so hopefully his touch is back and he can do something this weekend.

Mount (BHA)

New boy Mount goes for me and it feels nice to be part of the mounted cavalry division. Nice little fixture run and still a good price. I really want to get in Maddo soon but Mount seems basically the same thing with a bit lower price no knock and better fixtures at least for right now.

Not sure why I'm talking about Maddo here but I am so that's cool.

Cantwell (cry)

Finally, Todd goes to Selhurst in what should be a who knows what the fuck it will be kind of a game. I could see anything from 0-0 snoozefest worst thing of life to a 4-2 barn burner. Either way, I believe in Todd and I love Todd so I'm going to throw him out in the XI for the near term and see how he rolls.

FWD:

Pukki (cry)

Pukki still in of course..good guy still is good.

Haller (bou)

Haller still in as well...yikes. Pretty massively and utterly terrified of not owning Tammy even more so typing this out now so just gotta hope I get away with it. Eek.

CAP:

Sterling (eve)

Raz gets the armband again.

Was chatting about it in Slack just before typing up lambs and the honest truth of the matter is if I twist off Raz cap after all these weeks of mental anguish to see him spike this game at Goodison I would just be completely beside myself with grief.

I don't want that, so I'm going to just stay with the boy and hope he wakes up on the right side of the bed tomorrow and destroys Everton.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Diop

IN: Tomori

I wavered back and forth on this one because Diop and West Ham have kept three cleans in a row and have really good home bankers coming up and all that good shit.... BUTTTTTTTT... they’re still bad at defending. They really are. The cleans have been nice but felt pretty lucky. They had Manchester United which is arguably best cleansheet fixture in the league and I got my points and so now I’m bailing.

Tomori has almost identical home fixtures to Diop coming up and I’m taking a swing that with Kante back (and Rudiger soon) they are a better team and better defense then West Ham... So in the equal home fixtures I prefer Tomori and then in the aways I feel like West Ham have relatively no chance at a clean (for example this week away to Bournemouth I see them conceding two or three) whereas Tomori and Chelsea away Southampton and away Burnley and away Watford coming up I’m like yeah I could see it, maybe clean one of those if I’m lucky clean two of those? That seems not farfetched to me.

It’s fucking weird buying a defender for a team with no cleans but comparatively to West Ham I think I’m getting in a step ahead here and hopefully it pays me back :)... Come on you Fikayo.

GK:

Gunn (tot)

Spurs are kind of shit but also this is like a 1% chance of a clean for Gunn.

My biggest mistake on Wildcard was not finding the 0.1 somewhere (SEE: MARTIN KELLY) and going Pope over Gunn but honestly I’m just gonna stick by Angus “Gunn to my head” Gunn through these difficult fixtures and just hope he racks up some saves and bones and the odd clean here and there and then their fixtures turn in GW12 and maybe it’ll all be fine.

Maybe.

DEF:

Tomori (BHA)

Good cleanable fixture. Not AMAZING but a solidly good clean shout at home. Come on lad.

Lowton (avl)

Another solid clean shout here.

Away is obviously tougher but Aston Villa struggle to create big chances and with how deep Burnley set up it will be tough to get behind them and counter them... I feel like a defensive howler from Mee or Tarko will be Villa’s best chance of the game. Hopefully it comes clean for me.

Söyüncü (NEW)

The fucking kid. I love Soy so much.

This should be a very straight forward clean. Hopefully Soy doesn’t do something absolutely insane and concede a penno for no reason and it’s just an easy job with bones and shit. Come on SoyyyyyBoyyyyyLadddddd.

MID:

Salah (shu), Sterling & De Bruyne (eve)

Lottttt of aways this week for me which does not feel terrific at all.

Salah is easiest hold ever despite a bit of a slow start underlying numbers.

Raz had his 0 minutes played early doors and should be back in there firing on all cylinders and Kevin requires no words. If ya didn’t jump immediately on Kevin after GW1 or GW2 then we haven’t been watching the same shit and you clearly don’t listen to a word that Walsh and I say so fuck you anyways.

Cantwell (cry)

The aways just keep coming and I don’t like it...

Palace are tough to break down but they’re also WAY worse at home and love nothing more but conceding possession... This will be a really really interesting game to see how Norwich do when they have ~65% of the ball and have to break down the Woy bus factory.

I expect good things but I’m a little nervous.

FWD:

Agüero (eve)

Kun is real good.

Pukki (cry)

Check what I said above about Todd and apply the same down here to Teemu.

Abraham (BHA)

Tammy is putting up gigantic elite numbers and I see no reason why that won’t continue. Outside of Man City Tammy has the best non-penalty expected goals per 90 in the entire league. Ya love to see it.

The one caveat that I have is that Brighton are pretty good.

BHA have middle of the pack defensive numbers despite facing Man City already this season and they just seem solidly like a mid-table maybe top 10 team.

Potter is great and has completely transformed how they set up and play and they’re just good. People thinking that this will be a Chelsea easy walk in the park 4-0 ass fucking I think are very misguided and relying too much on the color of the fixture on the FPL site and not using data, team stats, brains, etc...

CAP:

Agüero (eve)

This did not take me long to sort out. Kun is on fire, City are the best attacking team in the world as usual, and Everton aren’t great. Hopefully Kun hauls in a loss then I’m in dreamland ;)...

It’s a bummer that it’s away but he’s still Kun and can score a hat trick vs. any non-Liverpool opponent away from home. You might call me not a home/away splits believer.

Come on Kun do it baby boy, Everton are ripe for a destruction... And if City score early the fucking pitchforks will be out at Goodison and Silva and the Everton players should crumble under the immense negativity and booing and horribleness.

—

NOT RANDOM SLACKER: DEREK

Fresh off of IRL pod we assigned Lambs this week to the one and only Derek.

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Coleman

IN: Otamendi

Mentioned on the pod, easy transfer: defender on terrible looking Everton team for an attacking City defender with a great fixture run for the same price.

Seamus got me a couple cleans early and had some great chances for a dong but at this moment cannot be more thrilled to take him out of my team.

This was my plan since before last GW.. sucks I missed Ota's absurd game vs. Twatford but regardless, I'm very happy with this pick.

GK:

Pope (avl)

New friend to the team last week brought me a clean sheet. Hoping for the same this week with Villa away.

Burnley has a nice run coming so expecting some cleans from him.

DEF:

Otamendi (eve)

New transfer in.

I don't love him as a defender and we all know he's struggled at times this year but with Dinho seemingly slotted to the LCB position I’m hoping City can stay relatively tight and keep some cleans on this run.

And with Kevin's super precise set piece deliveries so far this year (and all the time when he is healthy and right), I'm expecting Ota to continue to find his head on some of these balls for some more dongs.

Robertson and van Dijk (shu)

Two lads who have been on my team since GW1.

At this point, cleans haven't been plentiful like how I imagined but a goal and two assists from them is still solid and I expect Liverpool to improve on the defensive front. Sheffield should be staying pretty tight in the back at home so this fixture feels very cleanable.

MID:

Sterling and De Bruyne (eve)

Just two guys on the most potent, explosive attacking team in the league. It's time tor Raz to get some returns for the first time since GW3. Yikes.

Salah (shu)

Mo will be Mo and continue to do Mo things AKA return return return. Even having a shitty ass game like last week, he still got me an assist.

Mount (BHA)

I've had the Fat Frank loving youngster since GW3 and he's price risen 6 times since then which is wild but still think he's a great value pick for those who do not have him.

On the year he has 3 goals in 6, constantly finds himself in the box with good chances, and with this great fixture run coming up, I expect him to continue to tick.

FWD:

Pukki (cry)

Palace away doesn't feel great, but Pukki has proven he can score in any fixture so hoping he delivers me one here.

Abraham (BHA)

Coming off a late push at Stamford Bridge last week versus the league leaders, Chelsea should continue with their offensive prowess vs Brighton back at home.  Although I don't expect Tammy's absurd finishing efficiency to continue at this rate, his physicality and quickness in the box is here to stay which will continue to yield him good opportunities and big chances.

Plus with up-and-down-the-wing god Marcos A. slotted in at left back with Emerson out, Tammy should be getting some great service in the air.  Love having two offensive players from the same team cause the dreams and realization of an assist-dong combo is just the best actual feeling in all of FPL.

Greenwood (ARS)

Taking a chance here going with my other Mason: the 17 year old United striker..feels especially risky with him playing 90' midweek in the cup match.

He has yet to start in a league game this year, but has started in both games outside of the league and has a goal in each of them. With Rashford's groin injury and Martial seemingly dead for eternity (I won't believe he's healthy til I see him on the team sheet), OGS has limited options up top so realllly hoping he gives the kid a chance this week at Old Trafford for his first league start.

From the little I've seen from Greenwood, seems like he is not shy to shoot and with Paul hopefully back maybe the team can progress the ball better and develop some offensive threat again..we shall see.

CAP:

Sterling (eve)

I'm going with Raz for the fifth GW in a row.

We all know what he's capable of..sitting the whole 90' on the bench or scoring a hatty. Hoping for the latter in the away fixture at Goodison cause I think City are gonna have their way with the Toffees. I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared captaining Raz considering he played 70+ minutes midweek in the cup and UCL coming up next week but fuck it.

Weird to see him drop in price two times in a week and seeing some captain polls, kinda feels like a slight differential captain.  Vice will be on Mo.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW11

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

PLUS ALON ON WILDCARDDDDDDddddddd!@!!!!!

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Jonny Castro Otto, and rolling a transfer as usual

IN: :bulbasaur: :baulbasaur: :bulby: :balbuena:

Riperino Castroino. You've been a good lieutenant for me and mine but it's time to say goodbye. Doubling down with him and Doherty was an ill fated experiment and it's time to sort it. I took a bit of time to investigate between BHA WHU and NEW defenses and landed on the leaf pokemon. Fixtures look good and their underlying defensive stats have been tidy. Let's go

GK:

Alisson Beckz still in there for the good guys. Tricky fixture on paper but Livp defense if Livp defense. Pretty fine.

DEF:

Trenty goes again. Still not too sure about this guy in my team but he's gotten me two points over the three weeks I've had him so hard to argue with that.

Mendy in with a home banker ho hum.

Dockerty Doherty in with a home banker ho hum.

New friend and pokemon Fabian Balbuena will try to vine whip his way into my heart and by solar beam his way into my heart I mean Burnley to score a 88th minute goal off a broken set piece from Benjamin Mee to send me into the darkest of depths.

MID:

Mo goes. Nothing to see here.

With Kevin ded Dilv is looking a lot better in his efforts to maintain insane underlying stats and horrendous FPL point returns. Best three points I'll ever see, taste, feel, hear, smell in my life thanks Dilv love you bro.

Haz for a half is better than anything else I could have going so whatever in fuck goddamn glhf Haz.

Frayzuh I'll hold for this weekend. Not sure if I'll stand by him for the near term but will stick on him for the weekend. United defense been looking better as of late but still could be goals in this game so we'll see.

FWD:

Genius transfer last week Dings drops to the bench and it's the old amigos Kun and Arnie going again for me this weekend.

Hopefully Arnie can walk/limp around for 85 minutes and expend energy for 5 critical minutes leading to goals/assists/points. Kun...well....just hoping he makes it to the 60' mark. Vomit.

BENCH:

Ings / Billing / Wan

CAP:

Mo. Really not much thought in it this week. Kun a non-option due to minutes...Haz a non-option due to minutes....Mo always an option due to pharaoh status and arsecast lol defense status. Seems good.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

WILDCARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

OUT: everyone

IN: everyone else

I’m not sure the best way to write wildcard lambs as it’s such a fuck... I’ve made a trillion transfers this week so yeah, I duno, I’m not gonna account for all the moves and all that shit. I’ll just do lambs like normal and go through my starting 11 and then for the bench section instead of just listing the dudes I’ll write a little on them too.

Also this isn’t final final final who knows what deep darkness lays wake for me this evening...... Truth is I haven’t even transferred in half of these players yet because I need the last round of price changes to go through first. Can’t wait.

GK:

Flappy bird Lukaszszszzzszs Fabianski comes straight in.

We talked about Fab v. Ryan on the pod and I’m backing the pod here with our evaluation of West Ham v. Brighton and the loooong term outstanding fixtures for West Ham. One bad fixture in the next 11 GWs is goooooooooood.

Flappy’s a monster on bones, I think and hope, he can keep up with the big boys in this stretch run. After all, GKs score the least amount of points.

DEF:

Double City defense with Mendy and my favorite French wine Laporte... Mendy I believe is very self-explanatory legend genius fuck -- did you know on the season Mendy is third highest (Kun then Raz #1 and #2 respectively) fantasy goal involvement percentage for City when he’s on the pitch... Absolutely ridiculous human... And Laporte what more can be said - he’s an immense and fantastic player. I was about ten months too early when I brought Laporte in last season, and now the world is ready for him. He’s casually just played 90 minutes in every prem match this season like a fucking boss. Get all the way in there you classy lefty fuck.

A share in Liverpool’s defense also felt somewhat required and I’m abandoning Robbo for VVD in this moment... Robbo still 100% fantastic pick and nailed and first choice and whatever else you wanna say about the best LB in the prem BUT -- with the very busy fixture period breathing down our necks I feel that VVD playing 90′ every single week will outscore Robbo’s attacking returns -- assuming Robbo has to get rested a couple times in the next month and a half. I think that that makes sense so let’s roll with it. VVDue away at the Emirates not an easy clean but all matches are cleanable for this Liverpool team -- get in there.

Alonso the fourth and final pillar in my Rolls Royce defense... If you missed last pod I had the epiphany that Zo is basically as set-and-forget as they come and transferring him out just because he’s stupidly high-priced for his position is over-thinking it. He’s on pace for his normal 160-180 point season and is just a very very good long-term / season-long hold type guy... if he were a mid he’d cost ~8.5m or 9m with his points tallys. It’s silly with this dude, sometimes just don’t overthink it. Bank the points and call me in the morning.

MID:

4-4-2 formation feels the right amount of forwards and the right amount of value to me. So here we are.

Mo has been in since preseason and continues to be in. He’s just the best simple as that no further questions.

Hazard despite being somewhat knocked and probably playing reduced minutes this weekend still is in my WC side... The fact of the matter is I barely have any choice in this issue. I want him, I still feel when he’s fit (probably a week away) that I’ll sorta need him, and wildcard’s the time to get a 11+ million player in as it’s much more difficult on just frees... Haz is fantastic and a long-term hold so having one whatever GW isn’t a big deal to me.

The next two are my little sexpots. They’re dessert.

Tony M Martial is a sexy guy there’s no doubt about that. He’s dribbling classy fucker who’s on fire at the moment... this spot feels a little tentative for me because I have my worries -- United suck, Mou is a nightmare, Martial is SUPER hot right now but underlying stats are shit -- But at the same time he’s donging for fun and getting in great positions and looking great. And I trust my pod partner.. I’ll probably stick here as Tony seems *obviously* better then the guys he’s competing with -- Siggy / Willian / Maddo / Rich / Pereyra type guys -- but I’m not sure and I need to sit on it longer.

The other punty mad scientist legend in right now is none other then Riyad Mahrez... from where I’m sitting the KdB injury makes City’s first choice central-midfield Dinho / Dilva / Bilva and City’s first choice front line from left-to-right Raz / Kun / Mahrez... That’s what I’m seeing and that’s what I’m believing... Raz looks fabulous on the left and he can cut in on his right there, Mahrez was born and was bought to play RW/RF and cut in and take lots of shots and score goals and he’s flying in that role... Three 90 minute appearances on the bounce, full of form and confidence with the back to back double-digit hauls... It feels a risk worth taking to me with his extraordinarily high upside/ceiling... There will be rotation for sure but I feel good that he’ll mostly be in eleven. Fingers crossed.

FWD:

The two up top are funny.

Callum is in there. Form, eye-test, numbers, he has it all so far this season. King still injured also keeps him on pens... At least for the next few GWs I don’t even mind Bournemouth’s fixtures much so for me right now, this one was easy.

Glenner is number two forward going for me. After all this time, I’m back on Glenner... He’s just doing exactly what he always does -- score goals. He does it for a fucking living and has not slowed at all. Finding little space and getting shots off and dinking and donging and taking pens, Glenner is a Glenner merchant. He’s Harry Kane at 6 million cheaper... seems good... His stats are often abysmal, but usually against mid-to-bad sides his stats uptick and he takes more shots. Looking ahead to Brighton’s schedule for the next sixish GWs -- a lot of sides to rack up shots against. Get in there Glenner.

BENCH:

Bench slot one: Ruben Neves... Have happily shitted on Neves since GW1 bandwagon but here I am bringing him in as purely a bench guy and for me, for a bench guy, he ticks every box known to man... I wanted a stronger then usual bench dude (normally I’d just go for like Stephens here cheap/nailed) and Neves has legitimate double-digit haul upside against any team in the league by nature of being on pens and being on direct free-kicks (and really good at them). He plays 90 minutes every week, good on bones, good team (lotta 3 pointers in there because of Wolves cleans), and he shoots a ton... His shots are low as fuck xG of the Paul variety but for 5.0 getting someone who can shoot upwards of 6 times a match gives him a nice - like I said - high ceiling for an autosub guy. I like it. I’m into it. Get in there. Treat me.

Bench slot two: Isaac Success... potential 4.5 starter at forward need I say more? He’s good and even if he’s dropped once Deeney is fit he’ll always be Watford’s first attacker off of the bench with a chance for some points. He’s a good guy.

Bench slot three: Ryan Bennett of Wolves... He’s started and played 90′ every week this season, Wolves defense is good, he’s 4.2m, it’s a simple good pick... Autosubs have been outta control this season so let’s go get it. Wolves have some bad fixtures coming up but Benny is very startable in the good ones. Just good depth. Get in there.

CAP:

On big Mo.

Fantastic player, fantastic form, pretty good fixture. Ok I’m into it.

My one slight fear is that Arsenal go into turtle bus mode like they did second half vs. Chelsea out of pure fear of getting fucked sideways... But maybe Arsecast being at home makes this less likely? We’ll see. Either way - Mo’s a great horse to back in this moment and Arsenal’s defenders are completely horrendous.

Get in Mo.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW10

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: AK47 aka Kamara aka ded fuck

IN: Ings

Am rolling my other free transfer again as per.

I spent a while deliberating on which midfielder to punt on in place of Billing until a good pal of mine turned my attention to Kamara's completely fucked spot on my team. First transfer spent on a forward for me this season coming in GW10 is pretty fucked, but here we are. I had enough money in the bank to bump AK up, and Ings feels like an incomparably better pick than any midfield punt around his price. At least he's the danger man and shoots a lot even if most of said shots don't find their way into the netting. Well maybe the side netting, but no FPL points for that.

It improves my depth and overall squad so it seems like a fine move. I'm not in love with Ings but I like him more than Jimenez at this point. He shoots more and I think he's just a better player from what I've seen out of Jimenez so far. I'm not really totally convinced about this move but seems like it could be reasonable. We'll see.

GK:

Alisson Beck goes again. Fantastic pick great job by me one of the few things I've done well this season was sticking him in my GW1 side. Doesn't hit the save point threshold basically ever but the cleans are flowing and having a good GK while not wasting transfers back there has been nice.

DEF:

I'm sticking with Trenty the Trentboy again. I suddenly have reasonable cover on the bench (Jonny) so I didn't want to fuck with him..yet. If he is on the bench again this weekend, though, I think the eye of Sauron (like that Harry Potter reference, Alon?) will firmly be at the wee boy.

Mendy goes again not much to say there. Great guy great pick and very glad I held him.

Irish Spaniel Alves aka Matthew Doherty gets his second run out in my squadron after his obligatory initial blank in my team. He's a good guy and I have faith. Wolves with the poo performance against Watford last weekend but think they will bounce back. I am benching Jonny, for what it's worth. It's a fine fixture, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather start the new striker lad with a nice home fixture rather than double investment on an away clean at the Amex. Might get Jonny in off the bench anyway with Trent and Haz who knows.

MID:

On that note, hopefully the Haz "injury" is just a bit of fuck but we'll see. They didn't make up injuries for him to miss out on previous Europa League games so it might be something. Either way it sounds like the most minor possible injury of life so he obviously goes nowhere from my team.

Dilva finally made good on his absurd underlying stats this past GW with a couple of dimes. Thanks bro. Really easy fixture for City this weekend so hopefully he keeps banging and maintains his hot form.

Mo sticks in the squadron obv. Not much to say about that.

And finally, no neck Frayzuh gets another run out again a shit team where he'll probably blank again. Can't wait.

FWD:

Three up top for the first time this season for my team. Feels just like old times. Kun and Arnie my familiar friends will keep being friends for the time being. Hoping / praying to all fucks that Kun rested midweek means he might actually not get subbed on Monday for the first time of his life. Tbd.

Dings gets Rafa at home. Really don't have a good read on this one. Normally I'd expect it to be just the most stodgy shitfest 0-0ish type game ever but realistically both of these teams desperately needs three points so maybe it won't be the worst thing ever? Probably will still be the worst thing ever and I can assure you I will watch zero minutes and zero seconds of this game.

BENCH:

Jonny / Billing / Wan

CAP:

Mo. Easy Mo. Lovely Mo. Go get 'em tiger.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: n/a

IN: n/a

No wildcard here. And no transfers?

I don’t know man. I guess this is my version of impotence...

Lineup is good this week, seems silly to WC away a good lineup.

I don’t know. I’m a lost boy.

GK:

Rui tries to get more then 1 point away to Brighton. I’m double Wolves defense so I’m hoping that Brighton won’t have Murray or Gross and that’s their by far two main threats soooo I duno.. very doable clean / cleanable do.

DEF:

5 stack defense triangle lineup this week.

My other Wolfman is Doherty. Go get me a double digit haul you wingback fuck.

Double barrel Liverpool fullbacks as usual with Robbo and Trent. Robbo will eventually get rested right he just has to? And Trent off of back to back non-starts... who the fuck knows what goes down here... the rumors are that it’s gonna be the same lineup as UCL midweek and some people (hi Rai and George) are saving their moves until Liverpool lineup is announced roughly 30 seconds before the FPL deadline and maybe that’s a smart thing but I just gotta hope they both start and if they start I expect lots of points. That’s just how it goes. If only I had a good bench to cover my ass :\...

Last two defenders are my double Chelsea in Marcos A. and Daveeeeeed Luiz barely holding onto their spots but alas away Burnley and home Palace are very very good fixtures. Just gotta hope for some attacking points and a lucky clean or cleans. Every Chelsea clean feels lucky. Who knows... Getting rid of Alonso is also the CLASSIC FPL mistake where he’s just gonna finish the season on like 180ish points and be top 2-3 defender no surprises etc etc... we’ll see...

MID:

Same three amigos in midfield going for me in big Mo, big dick Dilv, and eye-test merchant Rachel Maddow Maddo.

Some good guys with good fixtures. Treat me.

FWD:

Kun and Laca going again.

Kun who knows between 45 and 90 minutes.. what would you set the over/under at if you’re a bookmaker? 65 maybe? I’ll bet the under unfortunately... I guess there’s a chance that Spurs keep it close and so Kun stays on but that seems silly to me.

Laca’s purple patch seems to be slowing down to a halt. The underlying stats weren’t ever reeeeeeally there but he’s a fantastic striker so he makes the best of the 2-3 chances he gets. But also Arsenal’s upcoming fixture run is pretty tough so I don’t feel great going forward with Laca. I don’t expect him to return value but that’s just me so he’s looking to be transferred out soon.

BENCH:

Few all-stars here in Billing / Kamara / Ward

CAP:

Easy Mo. Mo is life. <3333