#at least my tolerance isnt fucked anymore. i smoke and actually get high! crazy

[stinkrascal]

monkey d fluffy is finally home!! im so relieved, i missed him so much!! hes on my lap watching me play skyrim 🥺

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

To The Parents who are still in the Program (and those who have left) - OnTheEmmis.com 2004

There is a thread on the other message board that I think the parents need to be informed about. This is about the harm that is caused to the children from parents that are still in an ICECAP program. These are true stories (not edited) just copied and pasted for you to read. What Bob AND Joy teach parents about "tough" love and their version of "unconditional" love are just that "their version". Does this seem as though families are being brought together and healing to you? This is a great example of the pain that is caused when one person in the family (the child) wants to leave ICECAP and another person (the parent) believes the lies that they have been taught (that they are or will get high, can't live without being in the program, etc.) They, ICECAP, breed the fear that you as a parent have when you see them making choices that YOU don't like. What is the true meaning of letting go? Or the true meaning of unconditional love? This is not to make any parent feel guilty for their time in an ICECAP program. I truly believe you thought you were doing the best thing. You were also a victim of the cult and it's way of thinking. That is the very reason I am posting this thread. To show the harm and hopefully save some pain for others. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author: Bailey [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Date Posted: 13:27:44 12/22/04 Wed ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Getting kicked out of your house by your once all loving supporting do anything for you family As most of you know my family is ALL involved in Crossroads and sense ive left its been hell, Thursday night my dad and step mom freaked out on me and my dad started pushing me and threatening to "lay me the fuck out" My dad has never so much as spanked me before we used to get along great until x-roads we got high together went to concerts movies dinner and what not, But now its as tho i dont exist to them they call me ungrateful bitch and many other names after all that happened he told me to pack a bag and he didnt want to see me anymore, Luckily i see a therapist and he talked to my dad and calmed them down they still want me out of the house tho. I cant leave now because i belong to the state until me 18th birthday which thank god isnt far off but if they kick me out or i move out i have to spend the next month and half in juvenile again, this has happened to many of my friends who have left too they end up homeless because if there not in the group they cant be at there house, i was just wondering if anyone else's parents went crazy after they left and if it does get better? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] [> Subject: It happened to me Part 1 Author: Hollywood [Edit] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Date Posted: 17:59:18 12/22/04 Wed ------------------------------------------------------------------------ I lived threw this every time I left the group, but especially the last time. The last time I left I bailed the group with a guy, I knew from prior experiences that my parents would not tolerate me living in their house and not be in Pathway. So I did what I knew how to do, and hopped on a bus to California. When we got there we had no money or anything. At that point and many points throughout my time in Pathway I was willing to be a street person rather than be involved in the group. To say it didn't last long was an understatement; he was scared and refused to talk to anyone. His parents agreed to fly us back to AZ. I almost did not go because I knew that upon arriving I would have no place to go. Mind you at this point I had over a year sober. I did not bail because I wanted to get high. When the plane touched down in PHX he had people from the group waiting to take him back. They shunned me. I had been in the group for about 5 years at that point and they could care less if I had a place to go. I now know it was because my parents would not shell out even more money for me to go into IOP (that would have been the third time). I truly did not know who to call; I had been in the group since I was 14 years old. Not many people I knew had left and were around or willing to talk to a program drop out. I finally gathered enough courage to call a friend of mine that had left the group, I knew she was getting high but at that point I didn't care. The streets of Phoenix were a lot more cruel than the streets of Hollywood. Her mother answered the phone, she did not sound very happy to hear my voice, on a previous runaway trip I bailed the group with her daughter and a few other people and we stole her credit cards and over $1000 dollars cash if my memory serves correctly. So this was a lady that I had fucked over to say the least. This kind woman opened her home to me. More than what my own family was capable of at that point. She allowed me to stay at their house and helped me try and find a job. At the same time unknown to me she was in contact with my parents trying to convince them to take me home, that I was actually doing fine and wasn't what the group was telling them about me. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] [> [> Subject: Re: It happened to me Part 2 Author: Hollywood [Edit] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Date Posted: 18:00:08 12/22/04 Wed ------------------------------------------------------------------------ For some reason on Christmas Eve my parents called and told me I could move back in, but I had to live in the garage. They would set up a cot in there. I would not be allowed to use anything in the house, except the bathroom but my parents had to escort me to and from it. I agreed I didn't care; I just wanted to see my father. When we were driving to my parents house the kind mom who allowed me to stay at her house explained to me that this was all my mothers doing, my father wanted nothing to do with my and had informed her that I was dead to him. It was because of him I would be sleeping in the garage until I could find my own home (mind you I was 18 and had never held down a job, paid bills, etc.) I lost it, this man, my father, my hero wanted nothing to do with me. This was a turning point for me. This is when I decided in my crazy still experiencing the effects of Kool-Aid that I needed to get high in order to get in the house. Because, try and follow this it is way crazy thinking looking back, if I just got high I would have something to cop to, the group would take me back, I could make amends and therefore my father would allow me in his life again. Crazy I know. Well living in the garage lasted about 2 hours before my parents (read mother) got sick of it. My father sulked in his room and wanted nothing to do with me. Christmas Eve with all the family and Christmas day were rather awkward, to say the least. My father still did not speak to me. I believe that year they even attended the round robin. I sat at home. I soon got a job and almost immediately began getting high, smoking speed, snorting coke, and shooting heroin. This went on for about 2 years. I worked therefore my parents didn't care. They had both left the program (details of that have never been disclosed to me, I do not know why or how). And my father and my relationship finally started to re solidify. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] [> [> [> Subject: Re: It happened to me Part 2 Author: Hollywood [Edit] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Date Posted: 18:01:09 12/22/04 Wed ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Except by this time I was strung out on heroin. Believe it or not I did go back to the group. After my parents discovered my horrible habit and asked me to check myself in to a detox center, I made an appointment with the then OG counselor. He told me to that I was going to die, that I needed to go into some Step something or other. I told him I had no money. He told me to sell my cars, I told him he was on crack my parents would never let me do that. At the same moment I was absolutely terrified they would. I told him to call them and if he could convince them I was willing. From what I understand that counselor did call my father and my father told him he was full of shit. That was the day my father became my hero again and not some brain washed ego maniac. I wound up getting off heroin a few months later. My father and my relationship has been wonderful ever since, for Christ sake we even work together. My mother is still struggling with the fact that I drink . But her and my relationship is better then it ever has been my entire life. Sorry this was so long and detailed I never knew I would share all of this. I hope this helps you to realize to hear that some else has been threw a similar nightmare. Good luck and if you ever need anything or need to talk about the ‘rents and the evil things they can do when they are still slugging down the Kool-Aid but you are not, email me. I am more then willing to listen. Also if a parent reads this who is considering throwing their child out on to the streets because they are no longer in the group, let me tell them from being that child: They have no place to go! The situation that they are in worsens, they feel abandoned, and the people that they turn to are usually using drugs much heavier than they are or ever have! PLEASE DO NOT BUY INTO ICECAPS TOUGH LOVE- this is what killed Bob’s son, this is what almost killed me, and what almost killed or even did kill many people I knew. Hollywood [ Post a Reply to This Message ] [> Subject: Re: Did this happen to anyone else Author: michele [Edit] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Date Posted: 22:27:49 12/22/04 Wed ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ok bailey, i know you've already heard this but there are some who haven't... the first time i left stl i was 16. i lived on the streets and 20 dollar hotels and at my old sponsee's house. it was bad but didn't compare to when i left atl. that time i was 18. my dad had driven a car down for me. i eventually got myself kicked out. i knew it was coming. i packed up my car with at much crap as i could and then i left. i went to stl then kc. stealing gas the entire way, oh yeah and wrote a bunch of bad checks. i had to go back down to atl to pick up more of my stuff. so i took a friend with me. i got there and packed up more crap. i made it all the way back up to nashville, then my car broke down. to anyone who lives in there car it's the most important thing to you. it's your bed, your transportation, your only way to and from work. it makes your whole life work. my friend's parents wired her money and left me 60 miles south of nashville, in manchester. i took what i could from my car and started walking. i hitch hiked from there to kc. it took me 3 days almost. i looked like complete shit when i got home. think the garage is bad? my mom made me sleep on the back deck for 3 weeks. like a dog. i woke up went to work (walked my happy ass) came home and then when my mom got home from work she would let me in to go to the bathroom and shower, then i got kicked back out. when i finally proved my self she let me in the house. well that's the most important parts i guess. there's more but i wanna go to sleep. point is that things did get better. i just had to fight so hard for it. i've never had to fight for anything harder then to survive. but i'm still here. and to everyone who will ask, i never touched a truck driver, and they never asked. actually the fed me and let me sleep. [> Subject: Re: Did this happen to anyone else Author: Jen from AZ [Edit] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Date Posted: 02:27:25 12/23/04 Thu ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It's stuff like this that really gets me riled! It bothers me that the "Family" (talk about dysfunctional families!) pushes parents to treat their own flesh and blood like animals! I'm sorry - but tough love is bullshit! As parents, we are to care for our kids - whether we love them or not - they are a gift from God and these parents ought to be damn grateful that they have children! Do these parents not realize that there are LAWS about this?! As long as their kid is under 18 they are required BY LAW to give their kids food, clothing and shelter. Parents, if you are kicking your kids out of your house - YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE THEM! I will NEVER turn my back on my child! I don't understand how any parent can do that! How can a parent look Their child in the eye - no matter how old they are - and turn their back on them? How can they sleep at night not knowing if their child is dead or alive? How can Bob and "friends" push this kind of treatment?! This is just totally beyond my comprehension! My blood is boiling right now! I would give ANYTHING to have more kids at home! I cry almost every night because I want a houseful of children! Yes, I love my son with all my heart - but yes! I also want a houseful of laughing - hell, even screaming - children running around! And quite frankly it fucking pisses me off that parents treat their children like this! Sleeping in the fucking garage? On the damn patio!? Wake up you parents who are in ICECAP! I don't care if you believe the Bible or not - I do and I believe it with all my heart and it says in there that "whatever you do to the least of these, you have done to me". Guess what parents! When you treat your kids like this, you are treating God like that! I pity you! I pity the fact that one day you will have to answer for the way you have treated your kids! And I pray that you get the justice you deserve! Sorry webmasters for going off and for using the language I used. I haven't talked like this in years, but this is a hot button for me. I get into a lot of trouble when I'm out and about in stores and see a parent yelling and/or cursing at their child. One of these days I'm probably going to get punchedt - but I will not keep silent! The treatment that ICECrAP pushes parents to do to their kids is abuse - pure and simple! And I refuse to hold my tongue when I see it going on! To those of you who are experiencing this treatment or have in the past - please know that I am thinking of you and praying for things to change. Especially that your parents wake up and seek your forgiveness for the treatment they have given you! NOTHING a child does - NOTHING - warrants throwing your kids out on the streets! The atrocities that are out there... it just makes me shudder! And want to scream and rip out Bob's eyes with my bare hands. Not much gets me this worked up.