#at some point I rly gotta re-standardise that tag
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I've been having some uncharacteristically violent dreams since I got sick
#mine#dream journal#at some point I rly gotta re-standardise that tag#anyway I haven't been updating on my dreams bc I've been exhausted but... there's def been a change#I've had a recurring dream where I beat up my own mother. and it's not the usual soft punches I give in dreams.#that one confuses me bc... I'm actually not mad at mum? why am I having dreams of fighting her?#the second dream is a first for me. I'm the second oldest in a quiverful family.#which ... I guess makes sense bc I did fall down the fundie snark rabbithole a couple months ago?#anyway in the dream the eldest daughter gets shot and without hesitation I grab the gun and pull the trigger on the gunman#but the gun's out of bullets so I jus kick the shit out of him.#that part I can't rly guess where it came from.#neither of the dreams feels like a nightmare despite ... everything. I feel anger once provoked and then numb after I start the attack.#the other thing both dreams have in common is that I'm avenging my sister. I don't know why that's on my brain bc irl rn she's been a pain.#and I can't blame her attitude on covid.#yanno I expected stress dreams and bizarre fever dreams but these aren't stressful in the normal way and they're too cohesive for a fever#covid-19 for the historians
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