#at the same time again - at this point im not sure if I'd necessarily recommend this game over styling star (←last style savvy title)

[fifty-ten]

so far (like 3 hours of playtime) fashion dreamer seems like a good spiritual successor to style savvy (new style boutique), which makes me really happy

[transmascore]

i feel like im going insane. i have literally, literally, identified as everything in the lgbtq+ acronym. literally every single thing. ive "come out" as every sexuality, claimed i was every gender, and yet i still feel like im wrong. im so tired of not knowing who i am. i feel like a fraud and a fake, like an idiot for not knowing who i was when i was like 3 and just stucking with it forever. i wish i was just normal. do you have any advice for figuring it out?

I understand the frustration. It can be scary to not know who you are, and to want to have a definite answer - to have closure. Identity is a complex thing. 

My own understanding of myself has changed over time. From identifying as a woman, to nonbinary, to a man. From woman-leaning pansexual to gay. From feminine to masculine to feminine again. From using one set of pronouns to another, and then another. I've absolutely felt that imposter syndrome and that need to pin myself down as something specific. To know myself fully and feel stable in my identity. 

I don't want to claim that identity is fluid for everyone - there are people out there that find themselves day one and little changes for them. But I will say that, in general, part of life is that people are always changing. One's understanding of oneself evolves over time. We're not the same person at 30 as we were at 20, as we were at 15. I resent the notion of "a phase" as it's often used dismissively, and that's used to invalidate a person's identity and experiences. I don't really believe in "phases" so much as "this point in time is part of my journey."

When I said I was nonbinary at 17, that wasn't a lie. It wasn't a phase; it wasn't me faking anything. It was who I was at that time, my authentic self. Just as 10 years later, me living as a man is my authentic self. And in neither scenario am I taking up unnecessary space.  I understood myself as being attracted to women for most of my life, and that was my understanding of myself then. Now I'm a Kinsey 7.

My biggest piece of advice is to go with the ebb and flow, and not to beat yourself up about it. A big part of the queer journey, for most people I'd say, is to keep exploring until you find what sticks. What feels right to you in the here and now? What makes you feel happy and at peace with yourself? If you find yourself at a loss for an answer, that's okay. You don't need to have one. You can exist as you are without labeling it (unlabeled), or by using an umbrella term to signify that you're LGBT without getting into specifics (such as queer or genderqueer). 

There's also terminology out there, neologisms, that describe people whose understanding of their own sexuality and gender are in flux - like abrosexual and genderfluid. Because you're far from alone. Many people cycle through the acronym and aren't quite sure where they belong. Even if those specific words don't necessarily click with you, I recommend looking into their communities and speaking to the people in them. You may find answers and make friends with people in a similar situation.

Ultimately: You cannot be a fraud when it comes to your own gender and sexuality. If you come out as a lesbian one day and a gay man the next and a bisexual that afternoon - there's nothing wrong with that. You are you, whatever your understanding of the situation is at the time. 

Good luck on your journey, and take it one step at a time. Go easy on yourself. And if you can, do something nice for yourself today. Treat yourself! Figuring out who you are is hard work. ❤️

[lokeanwelcomingcommittee]

Hello! I'm not exactly sure how to look this up in Google, because everything I've tried hasn't given a straight answer. I've heard people saying that you need to do something for "protection" before working with a deity, so I'd like to know if you have any information on that! I've made Loki an altar already, I'm just waiting for this whole protection thing before I begin trying to work with him.

hello, im new to all this and growing up christian i have no idea how to start working with deities, in particular loki. reading thru ur blog answered many questions i had, so thank you. what i wanted to ask was if i should do protection spells or things of that kind before starting to give offerings ? while reading online many say that the first thing to do in divination work is protection spells but i have no idea how to do them or what i should use :/

We had two anons along the same lines/subject, so in the interest of getting to folks quicker I've combined them here. The answer (or answers) ties in somewhat to this recent ask on terminology, because much like in other areas of life I tend to think the amount of protection necessary really depends on what you're doing, and also because much like that subject, opinions on what you should do will vary. With that said, my personal experience and what I've observed over the last 8 years leads me to agree with this post in that general devotional activities or leaving offerings isn't something you need to be doing something elaborate for, if anything at all. If you're attempting something more involved such as two way communication or magical workings, that's likely something with more variables that are worth thinking about. If you're following some sort of specific tradition that's a good place to start looking, but if not exploring and learning about open traditions or practices is an option, as well as-- to kind of go back to something mentioned previously-- often narrowing a search to what you'll be needing the protection or cleansing for is likely going to bear more useful results than a broad "protection spell" search. Also, if you start learning more about things that have a more "direct" interaction than offerings and such, you should start running across related protective practices, and this is yet another thing where it's perfectly time and indeed probably wise to take your time, feel free to experiment and ask questions, and develop something that works for you.

Because we do welcome people with a variety of traditions and practices, we as a blog don't specifically recommend one way, but while posts in our discernment tag aren't all on one particular topic, a lot of the questions to ask and issues to consider can help with picking a protection method or methods (even if in some cases that's nothing at all). Questions like "What are the actual risks?," "Is there evidence or accounts of this working?," "Is there a reputable reference source or tradition this is coming from?," and "Do I have a basic understanding of the process and components?" are some good general starter questions that you'll notice are very similar to critical questions you might ask about any sort of research. Additionally, while they're not focused on protection, this post on historical evidence re: offerings and private worship and this one on ideas of "ritual cleanliness" may be useful not necessarily for following to the letter, but perhaps for some ideas on what sort of preparations might have been taken and also (especially in the case of the latter) some ideas you might run across that aren't as necessary as they might be presented.

In any case anon(s), I hope some of that is a helpful starting point or useful reference, and feel free to write in again if you need clarification or have further questions.

- Mod V