#baby accordo squad is the shit

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hullo! o/ Chocobros meets smol Ardyn anon here. I have another potentially fun request for you. How about Cor having to deal with smol Regis and gang? Or the bros reacting to them being smol. You can decide which one to do. :'D Thank you in advance!

Hallo! I’m sorry for taking so long. I’ve been constantly thinking on this and I think I’ll do both XD Apologies in advance for grammar mistakes, this isn’t second-read.

Let’s see what happens!

Everyone beware…

Cor deals with the rest of the Accordo Squad turned Smol, & bonus with The chocobros meet the complete Smol Accordo Squad (that means, yes, there is smol Cor too)

Let’s look for an excuse clarify; the baby/smol form is result of a status ailment.

For some reason (it’s Regis’ fault), the Accordo Squad decided to meet again for “the same of old days”.

So there goes the Accordo Team, on for a little journey for mere fun in the wild.

There’s this moment in which they’re making fun of Cor because he’s the youngest and back in the old days he was fifteen, so there where the rest had beards or adult height or an ID, Cor was this lanky teen.

They start treating him and speaking to him like he’s a baby, pinching cheeks and doing baby voice and all.

Mixing the words Cor and Baby, Cid has come up with the name “Corby” and they won’t stop calling him that.

There’s a point where they stumble upon this daemon they’ve never seen before and before they rush into action, Clarus pulls Cor back to their hideout  behind a rock like

“Leave this to the adults, baby Cor.”

“FINE, go see how you handle it yourselves. Without me you all turn into a real mess of babies.”

Cor waits there but when he hears things get bad he jumps to action and kills the daemon, careful not to touch the cloud of steam it left behind, and nervously waiting for his teammates to come out of it.

When the cloud fades, there’s nothing but their clothes OHFUCK

But then Cor sees movements under the clothes and from under them four goddamn babies crawl out all confused and OH FUCK.

Tbh Cor just stands there and watches the babies.

“…this isn’t what I meant with ‘turn into babies’.”

Welp, Cor has no option but to deal with them:

Cor is currently trying to figure a way of herding four babies at once.

He doesn’t want to carry any of them.

Cor’s pretty sure the guys are conscious and will remember and will make fun of him for the rest of his life, and he won’t give them the pleasure.

He’s trying to keep them in a pack and making them crawl in the same direction.

Doesn’t work.

Baby Weskham sits there watching him, but Baby Cid is pretty SURE he saw a bunny so he’s furiously crawling after it.

Baby Regis just accidentally poked his eye with the cane and baby Clarus is hitting the cane for hitting his best friend and making him cry >:’(

Cor recovers baby Cid but now baby Regis just damn disappeared and, ofc, so did baby Clarus

“WESKHAM WHERE DID THEY GO!?”

Baby Weskham tilts the head with an adorable baby noise of question.

Baby Weskham is confused.

Cor drops baby Cid to go look for the other two.

Cor ends up carrying all four babies at once because this is a mess.

There’s baby Weskham and baby Regis each in an arm.

Baby Clarus is on his head.

Baby Cid is thrown onto his shoulder.

Cor tried phoning Monica to come save him (because Cid had the brilliant idea of HEY what about we go by feet!? So there’s no car he can use to return home).

Monica hung up on him when he told her “The guys just turned into babies”.

Also his phone died after that call.

Cor has no option but to deal with the babies until he finds somebody that could help him.

Cor had to go buy baby clothes.

The cashier kept staring at him because he was still carrying all four babies like that. They’re nude.

“…wow…y-your…your wife gave birth to four at once…”

“Oh. I…I have no- these are not my children.”

The cashier is terrified.

Actually, Cor isn’t bad at parenting; he had practice with the baby chocobros back in the days, so he knows how to put diapers on them.

The problem is making the four stay still while he does.

Weskham is a treasure that doesn’t move.

Cid and Regis…*defeated sigh*

Clarus is troubles too, but Regis is worse than he is.

“I thought I was done when your children grew up, I don’t have the patience for this shit anymore.”

It’s four babies, please understand Cor.

There goes Cor the Immortal Nanny, carrying two babies on the back and two more on the front.

At first he had put Clarus and Regis together and Cid and Weksham together, but had to rearrange;

Baby Cid insisted on smacking baby Weskham until provoking him and both started fighting.

Baby Regis insisted on doing pranks or trying to escape from the carrier and baby Clarus always helped him.

Weskham and Regis together works better, even though baby Regis insists on trying to escape. Good baby Weskham always stops him.

Baby Clarus and baby Cid insist on fighting, though.

Cor made the mistake of walking in front of a toy store.

You should have heard the massive collective baby scream when he did.

All four babies looked at the things on display window and went

“*BABY GASP* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! (」°ロ°)」 “

Cor had no option but go inside because none of them would shut the fuck up.

People stare at Cor every time he nags Regis because all they see is this stressed father calling his baby by “your Majesty”  ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

He’s nagging him because baby Regis insists on pushing things off the shelves.

Baby Cid helps him.

Cor ends up bugyin onesies and toys for them because the babies insisted and he wants them to shut up.

There goes Cor carrying with baby Regis in his carbuncle onesie hugged to a moogle, baby Clarus in a moogle onesie hugged to a chocobo, baby Cid in a chocobo onesie hugged to a cactuar, and coeurl Weskham hugged to a carbuncle.

Cor camps with them.

Cor thinks the babies are doing some daemonic ritual because they’re in their onesies dancing around the fire singing uncontrollably.

They can’t even speak, it’s just bambling as they sing.

Cor’s sat there like  (눈_눈)

Cor had to chase them around for a good couple hours before they fell asleep.

Baby Cid insists on stealing Cor’s stuff and running nowhere at all (also falling at times).

Baby Weskham, as calm, is also dramatically curious so he saw a butterfly and crawled away of camp to chase it.

Baby Regis is a chaos.

Baby Regis insists on stealing Cor’s stuff,run away from camp, hide, throw things at Cor, and poking the others.

Baby Clarus follows him either to help him do his pranks or to take care of him.

Cor recovers a baby just to be thrown a spoon by another,recovers another and the first already escaped again.

“Their ritual dance around the fire was better, dammit.”

Three of the babies already understood (even though baby Cid had to be nagged and is currently sat there all grumpy), but baby Regis is A CHAOTHIC MESS.

Cor is tired of his shit.

Cor is carrying him by the ankle, upside-down

“MOTHER OF SHIVA,REGIS LUCIS CAELUM, CAN YOU PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF FOR ONCE!? >:(”

Baby Regis peed on him.

It was on purpose.

The babies went to sleep and they’re al cuddled up and it’s disgustingly adorable, Cor can’t be mad at them.

Cor thought it’d be a good idea to throw baby Weskham in the air for fun.

Bad idea; now all four babies are bouncing around him so he carries them and throws them up.

The first hour goes cool but it’s gets easily boring to Cor.

After the first hour he starts to get tired.

“Listen, I’m 45. I can’t do this all day like I’m 29.”

Shut the f*ck up , Cor, they still want to have fun.

Baby Clarus ended up throwing up.

“Ha ha, weak.”

Cor’s having fun because for once he’s the oldest and the gang are literally babies.

Cor’s laughing at them all the time.

Baby Cid was waddling around and fell on his tummy.

“Ha ha, idiot.”

Baby Weskham tried Cor’s shoes on and ignored they’re like GIANT and tried to tie them but had no idea how to.

“Hahaha, you dumbass.”

Baby Clarus sneezed so loud he scared himself.

“Hahahahahha, you’re so stupid.”

Baby Regis was sat there looking at a butterfly all like .A. “woaaaaah” and when it flew past his head he tried to keep looking throwing the head back instead of turning around, and he fell backwards.

“Hahahahahahahaha, you’re so stupid  ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ “

Baby Regis tried taking Cor’s katana.

It’s disgustingly adorable, baby Regis is like TINY, the tiniest of the smol gang, and the katana is so giant to him but he’s carrying it around from a tip.

Don’t worry, Cor’s making sure nobody unsheathes that by accident.

Cor has rented a car.

Baby Weskham gets the passenger seat because he’s a treasure that doesn’t cause much trouble.

Look at baby Weskham sat there so miniature with the seatbelt on and it’s too big on him, oajdsdof, literally only the strap that goes to the waist works on him.

Cor has no baby seats okay

The other three are at the backseats and, as they cannot poke the heads out the windows and as they can’t go to the front because Cor stops them when they try, they need to find a new entertainment.

Baby Regis, Clarus and Cid are fighting each other.

Baby Regis started.

Regis, calm tf down.

Cor’s watching from time to time on the rearview mirror.

Watching these three murdering each other is fun.

Goddammit Cor needs to record this somehow before the status fades.

Cor had a terrible idea.

You can’t stop Cor.

Cor is camping and just set his own game of Baby Fights.

The baby that wins earns this big chocobo plush.

Cor’s basically putting two babies in front of each other and watching them fight.

He’s laughing.

The babies do only harmless attacks like smacking each other or shoving back and they cry at the smallest of hits.

This is sweet revenge.

“Who’s a baby now?”

Don’t worry, Cor’s making sure none of them is really hurt.

Baby Clarus won.

Baby Weskham won’t talk to baby Clarus for the rest of the night.

Baby Cid is throwing things at baby Clarus.

Baby Regis is trying to steal the plush, ends up feeling guilty and returns it on free will to baby Clarus. And then steals it again.

Cor woke up to baby Weskham smacking his face.

Baby Weskham is quiet but still troubles if he wants.

Cor finally gets to Cape Caem where Monica’s at.

“Hey, Cor, where are the…”

“…”

“…Cor, I don’t want to question you but why are you  carrying with FOUR BABIES”

See, Monica wouldn’t have believed about the status ailment hadn’t Cor brought them to her.

Guess who arrived at Caem by the time?

Here come the chocobros!

They tasked the chocobros to look after these babies (didn’t tell them who they were) until they came back; Cor wants to show Monica the daemon that did that, see if they spot one nearby.

That night Monica returned with a naked baby and Cor was missing.

“…yes, you see, it’s a funny story”.

Monica explained who these five babies are.

“THEY ARE WHO!?”

“Oh look at the hour, I promised someone I’d see them by now, I leave it in your hands, bye”

Monica never came back.

Here we see it, four young adults that can barely survive on their own, parenting parents.

It was a mess at fist.

Noctis went nuts

“THIS IS MY DAD!? THIS IS MY DAD!?!?!”

Noctis is holding baby Regis in his hands all like .A.

As soon as he held him, baby Regis went all

“*HAPPIEST OF BABY NOISES* AAAAH! (o´▽`o)｡o○♡“

Doing grabby hands at Noctis and legs happily swinging around.

The chocobros all had to gather around to see him because literally nobody has ever seen a happier baby than this one LOOK AT THOSE GIANT BLUE EYES SPARKLING AND THE WAY HE GIGGLES IT’S ADORABLE.

Baby Regis won’t leave Noctis alone from now on

If Noct puts him down, baby Regis will crawl or waddle after him.

Prompto went fanboy mode when he saw baby Cor.

“GUYS LOOOOK IT’S COOOOR! AAAH, HE’S SO TINY! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ“

Cor’s trying to hide behind his hands in embarrassment.

Nope. That only makes Prompto happier.

Prompto won’t let go of baby Cor for the rest of the status ailment.

Smol Cid is also particularly fond of Prompto.

Must be his guns.

Baby Cid is always touching and patting Prompto’s guns.

(don’t worry, Prom locked them)

Ignis and baby Weskham are particularly fond of each other.

Ignis is all

“Ah. This is what I talked about. Finally an adult that’s got common sense and understands the quiet. Please do not eat that ant.”

Gladio’s looking after his dad.

“So this is what you looked like when you were a baby, huh. You’re like a wet potato.”

“You know, Gladio, my dad once told me you looked exactly the same than Clarus when you were a baby.”

“…a very handsome wet potato”

Gladio’s just looking at baby Clarus all the time.

On a side, he wants to pick baby Clarus and use him like a toy airplane for fun.

On the other side, what if he’s conscious and won’t forget when he goes back to adult?

Gladio can’t risk that.

He’s just going to stare at baby Clarus all the time.

Baby Clarus is staring back at times.

Baby Cid likes to bite Prompto’s hair.

Baby Weskham likes to look at Ignis’ recipes notebook.

Ignis likes to read what it says to him.

Baby Weskham has huge adorable baby eyes and he sits there super curious and quiet watching all the letters and drawings.

Baby Cor was too shy at first, but Prom ended up finding a way to make him laugh.

Baby Cor’s tiny shy giggle is the CUTEST THING EVER.

Regis is still following Noctis and making grabby hands athim.

Baby Regis wants to be hugged all the time. By Noct, that is.

Prom one day was like

“I had an idea,what about we dress them like their adult selves but with clothes their size? I know it may be a stupid idea, I’m sorry…”

Everyone was quiet for a while.

There are the chocobros, each carrying their respective baby (Prom carries with two), into every shop for baby clothes and disguises they find to complete their attires.

Noct feels observed out there carrying with baby Regis.

Noct is by far the most nervous of them all.

“WOW, your baby has HUGE and beautiful eyes!”

“Oh, that’snotmybaby, it’s  not- ahaha, no, this is not my baby, this is my dad.”

The random lady is staring at Noctis like (・_・;)

There’s a super awkward silence and Gladio decides to take Noctis somewhere else before he screws up more.

“GUYS I FOUND A HAT LIKE COR’S OLD ONE (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)”

“PUT IT ON HIM, PUT IT ON HIM!”

They put the hat on baby Cor’s head.

It’s too big.

It falls and covers baby Cor’s face.

Baby Cor’s pushing it up and looking up at them.

“*collective loud ‘Aaaawww’*”

When they return they start dressing up the babies.

There’s baby Cid with his hat.

Baby Weskham in his vest and even a miniature fake monocle.

Baby Cor with his hat and a miniature toy sword.

Baby Regis with his cape and king attire miniature size.

Baby Clarus with his cape and a toy shield.

The chocobros are all staring and fanboying.

They’ve gone entire fanboy mode, you can’t revert it.

They’re arguing over which baby is the cutest.

This is destroying friendships.

The chocobros are starting to have a blast with the babies.

Please don’t let them, they’re going to go into stupid mode.

Thankfully enough, the status ailment reverts at some point before the guys can think about any stupid thing.

Funny enough for us, the Accordo Squad remembers everything.

They thank the chocobros for the attention and each teams decide to split because it’s awkward to look at each other to the eyes.

The Accordo Team are laughing and having fun talking about this mess.

“You do have to say, they did a particular good job on my attire. I looked the cutest.”

“What? You’re nuts, Wesky. Obviously I looked the cutest.”

“Come now, you’re talking in front of the king. It’s clear I was the cutest.”

“No way, Regis, I even had a toy shield. I am the cutest.”

“Well, I do have to say I’m the youngest, am I not? You’ve always treated me like a baby so that means, by logic, that I am the cutest.”

The Accordo team are now arguing over who’s the most adorable. 

You know what, I think they still have no idea how to adult in life. 

And this are the adorable and hilarious adventures of Smol Accordo Squad. (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[moonraccoon-exe]

question about episode ardyn: where the f*ck was clarus? hes supposed to be with regis yeah?

AYE THAT’S A GOOD QUESTION MATE AND I GOT YER ANSWER!

MOONIE RACCOONIE EXPLAINZ

In reality, like OUR reality, I’m going to guess that the developers didn’t have the budget/care to animate Clarus for in-game, or he just didn’t fit in the story so they were like nah bro let’s leave him out of this, but then they were like, but hey, we said that Shields are supposed to always be by their king’s side, right? And they were like shit mate u damn right, how do we put Clarus out with a logical explanation, sort of like 98% of the things we read and play and watch have the protagonist’s parents always DIE because they’re really just in the way of our protag’s awesome dangerous stunts

So they were like HEY. I KNOW HOW WE CAN DO THAT.

So the in game explanation, in their reality, what happened was, it was Founder Day and everyone was like AYEEEEEEEEE WOOOOOOOO and then this creepy officer for some REASON goes nuts and summons the Astral of fire that was supposed to be dead lmao crazy right, and creepy officer starts doing, you know, the usual, wrecking the city, destroying buildings, bringing down the Wall that Insomnia uses to literally not die at the hands of a technologically and militarily superior enemy country, summons a dead god of fire that’s angry & consumed in darkness seeking to cause havoc, and popping balloons

So Regis in the Citadel goes, shite mate, boi be destroying the city and I don’t think that’s going to have a positive impact on the rotten tomatoes equivalent of carnival rating, so he goes, aye I can’t let this go on, we need to stop him, so he sends the pre-Kingsglaives to catch him but OOPSIE, THEY ALL DIE, so he goes shite mate, this ain’t working, better keep sending troops to their deaths and if we can’t stop him, then we’ll just have to keep the people safe!

So people go aye, u damn rite mate, but we need a leader to tell us what to do because we’re all unsynchronized little silly babies that don’t know what to do and currently our future Marshal is fifteen years old, wat do we do? And Regis goes, oh, that’s an easy question! I’ll just give you MY Shield to lead u!

And people are oh my god holy wow that’s bullshit, you could have named literally anyone else the captain of this mess, but you chose your best friend, sure he’s completely capable and experienced and will do phenomenal, but just because he’s your best friend surely that’s a totally biased choice, what is next, will the next king be one of your relatives? of course, capitalist monarchic bullshit, but okay

And Regis is like, I am aware that I have yet not reproduced, and my dad is dead, and females don’t exist so I don’t have a mother either, who cares, and I’m completely aware that I’m the only living human to carry the Lucis Caelum blood which is like, super important because the gods LITERALLY CHOSE MY ANCESTORS TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO and if I died WOOPSIE there goes the choice of the gods along 2000 years of effort and I’ll leave the world to devastation, but here, have my personal guard, I’m sure I can do completely fine entirely alone and vulnerable and unwatched, it’s okay, you keep him

So Clarus is dismissed from his Shield activities, because Regis is an overconfident little shit that was like “you go this other thing, I’ll be fine!” then he wasn’t LMAO, so that Clarus could go take the lead of the Crownsguard, because Glaives didn’t exist yet and hence Crownsguard are the only elite guarding group, and the terror and havoc in the city are the size of a literal god of fire that can step on like twenty people per step if he so wished, so the people really literally need all the available help

But seriously, being serious lmao, it’s not that Regis is an overconfident little shit I’m so sorry XD It’s just that he cares more about the people than he cares about himself. Pretty much shown with just what he did in the main story’s events; he literally knew he was going to die, but he made sure to first, save Noctis because he’s the future of the people, and second, to leave the Citadel almost defenseless so that the entire Crownsguard body could focus in evacuating, you guessed it, the people. 

So in the events of Episode Ardyn, what happened is that Clarus didn’t fit anywhere in the story and developers needed to put him out, lmao, but the excuse is pretty legit if you ask me, considering Regis’ character and stuff, and having him dismiss Clarus from Shield acitivities to go lead the Crownsguard and focus not in the king, but in the people.

Which still doesn’t make me 100% happy because when they said “Clarus is featured” MY MIND WENT CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I WENT INTO TURBO EXTRA MAXIMUM HYPE MODE I WAS CRAZY YELLING SO LOUDLY THE CAMERA TURNED RED AND SUPER SHAKY AS IT ZOOMED IN AND I ROARED SO LOUDLY THE WHOLE UNIVERSE COLLAPSED, and then when I got that I was like lol okay. 

BECAUSE I CAN’T. EXPL AL IN. MY ULTIMATE UTTER COMPLETE LOVE FOR CLARUS AMICITIA I CAN’T, THE ACCORDO SQUAD ARE LIKE. THEY MAKE ME CRAZY OKAY, I COULD DEDICATE 100 PARAGRAPHS TO THAT BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU’RE ASKING AND THIS IS TOO LONG ALREADY

*needed to go take a breathe to calm down and not rant about my LOVE FOR CLARUS AND HOW I’D PAY 100 EXTRA DLCS TO GET AT LEAST 1 SCENE OF HIM IN GAME*

SO YEH

THAT’S THE EXPLANATION

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT, MATE, HIT THE LIKE BUTTON AND SUBSCRIBE