#baby name sites are well and good but they don't tend to have names outside of the current top hundred

[neshatriumphs]

Don't Make Me Over 35

*Just realizing that I hadn’t put up the last couple of chapters in this space, but since I’m trying to finish up my fics, gonna go ahead and add these on my tumblr. Thanks.*

Sam was strumming his guitar and singing, or humming, or lipping words. He had a few days off of work. He spent them trying to find something to do around the house. He found out that Jonesy's people did all of the stuff around the house… and that they hung all around the house… all the time. Did Unique take on their home as a studio to work from until getting a new one? He wondered as he looked at her, lying on her belly on the loveseat while Jonesy was on her back on the couch. They were discussing their contracts, filming schedules, travel arrangements, maternity leave… "And we have candidates in place for nanny services when you return. You just need to make a decision."

"Oh!" Sam finally interrupted, "Nanny services?" He repeated, eyes on Jonesy instead of Unique.

Unique answered, "Now, before you try to go off on some tangent about nannies not being a good resource or children need their mothers or wherever you're intending to go with that look of disdain, let me tell you – women who can't afford nannies oftentimes spend less time with their children than the women who can… and those women often get less done around the house. Mothers have a full time job with a nearly impossible workload. A nanny is simply an additional pair of hands so that a mother does not have to compromise her career or other responsibilities while she raises her children."

"Mrs. Baylock said she was an extra pair of hands," Sam said.

Jonesy furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head, "That's only frightening if your baby is the Antichrist." She noted Unique's confused face, "Omen reference."

"I don't want to know your obscure movie references," she told her.

"Obscure? Movie is a classic!" Sam muttered, plucking his guitar strings a little harder than before.

"You do love the classics, don't you?" Unique asked with a smile. Sam threw her a look and she shrugged. "It's not the old days anymore, Sam. Jonesy can actually have a highly functioning career AND be a great mother. Have you ever seen Beyonce? Of course you have. That child looks loved as hell. You don't understand what a nanny is and what she does is the problem."

"Unique is providing the nanny as a perk of my job, Sam. So, it won't cost us anything extra and like she said, I will be around the baby more than anybody else in the world," Jonesy told him, rubbing his hair, as she did. He leaned into her petting, though his face still wore a sour pout, so she continued to coax him. "Think of her time with the nanny like time with a babysitter or time with a family friend or even time in a classroom. Some people send their kids to daycare so they can work. Mine will be relatively close, sometimes even on site and her caregiver won't even have to tend to any other children."

"I don't really like the thought of daycare, either. I mean, at least until its time for her to go to school, she should be at home with her mother."

"Her mother won't be at home, but if you feel that strongly about it, there is a such thing as a stay home dad," Unique reminded him. Sam furrowed his eyebrows even more. "Oh, so you want somebody to stay with the baby – just not you. Alright. Anyway…" Unique rolled her eyes and sat up, to scoot closer to Jonesy with the information. "If Jonesy tells me that she doesn't want a nanny and she wants to be at home and simply on call for times that I need her, that is fine. But Jonesy told me and we have been arranging that she wants to work, full time. She wants to travel with me for the long haul. I don't want to do it without her, but I will if I have to."

Jonesy waved a hand, "No, you don't have to. Why would you have to? I have a free nanny." To Sam she said, "We discussed this. I mean, we discussed that I wasn't going to quit my job. Remember? We couldn't afford it and I didn't want to."

"But, we didn't discuss a nanny, though," Sam said. "With all of the things that have happened, I just… honestly don't trust anybody." He shook his head and shrugged. "I mean, I can work out things so that my schedule lines up with when you won't be around so that I can watch her."

"Then, we wouldn't see each other and she wouldn't see the both of us, at the same time. Sam…" She looked at Unique, "Can we talk tomorrow?"

"Of course, Hunny. I'll be here, as always." She collected her things and rushed out.

"It feels like you're planning out the baby's life without me, again." Sam set the guitar aside and got up to sit on the couch, by her. She sat up, too. "It's not about the time or the plan or the person… well – it kinda is that too, but… this is OUR baby. We've discussed this."

"That's not what this is, Sam. This is my career. I was working on the plan and trying to get everything figured out before coming to you, Chief. I wanted it to sound as appealing as humanly possible before bringing it up, because I knew that you wouldn't like it, but I also know that its going to be excellent for me and it will not disadvantage her, at all. Not in the least bit. I'm not hiring a nanny so that I can spend summers in Tahiti or something. I'm hiring a nanny so that I can run errands, cook, clean up, and do makeup without carting Babycakes in a pouch on my chest." She held her hands out, "I've been collecting instances of children raised with nannies who have better relationships with their mothers than children raised by their mothers without nannies. I mean, both of these things can work, I'm not saying that kids with nannies are better off, at all. But not getting one isn't really going to work for me."

He looked at her sad eyes and nodded his head. "You're right. And I believe you. I don't think you were trying to plan things without me. But, now that its on the table… I… What can you tell me that might help me feel more comfortable about Cakes being with some stranger?"

"Only that everyone is when they're little. Do you know how many people I trusted in my youth that didn't mean me any good? But, my mom and dad couldn't protect me from everything, all of the time. It's reality, as hard as it is. But, she will not be on a battlefield. She'll be nearby. I will see her. We will be in each other's company, but if Cakes cries while we're recording, I have someone who can step outside with her. If… I break out in a rash, I have somebody to make sure she's not exposed to it. My intention is that the nanny can literally have whatever life she wants, outside of my schedule for her. Within that scheduled time, if I finish Unique's makeup and want to take my daughter out for a sundae, I can. But if Unique has a bruised nose from falling over and I have to spend hours making her look like she'd never seen a bruise a day in her life, I have that opportunity, as well."

"The nanny sounds like she'd be doing my job, while I'm at work…" Sam said.

"But, she won't be. She'll be doing the jobs that we don't have enough bodies to do while we do what we can and have to with the bodies that we have. We're getting her now, so that she can meet the baby on site. So that she can become familiar with the woman who will be telling her how to help out with her child and so that you can size her up, yourself."

"Wait… there's gonna be a nanny before the baby even gets here?" He said, shaking his head.

"Yep. This will be like her pre-field training. Knowing the parents and what they like and need is an important part of being able to know what the child will want and need, while she's in her care. I wish that there was some kind of movie about a good mother who had a nanny. They totally exist and I'm totally going to be one."

"Well, maybe one day, they'll make a movie about you," Sam commented.

"There's not enough film in the world to cover my story… wait… does that mean that you're on board? Even without the presentation of my evidence?" She asked, with a wide grin.

"I trust you, Jones." He gave her a kiss on the lips. "I think you won me over with the I can size her up, myself." He nodded and Jonesy covered her face.

"This poor woman is not going to have a chance…" She mused.

"This is the kind of thing you need to have a damn competition and show for," he muttered, which made her giggle for a moment. Then, she stopped and thought for a moment, then pulled herself up and rushed off, with her cell phone. "Um… Jonesy?"

His arms were folded when Mercedes opened the door for the young lady. "Hi, Mercedes! It's so good to see you again! And this handsome man must be Sam," she said and held a hand out to shake his hand. He accepted it and she introduced herself. "My name is Bree. Thank you for your consideration in this competition." Two more women joined them, within a few moments and the cameraman from Unique's show came in to set up some cameras while they held a group interview.

Jonesy treated it very similar to how they had treated the auditions for the show, welcoming the women, "In this age of reality television, and in my quest to find the best nanny for me, we had this fun idea to make a little web show of the process. As you have all agreed on the application, we now have the cameras rolling. For the moment, our bedroom is off limits, but all of the other rooms have cameras and we'll be reviewing them, as well as watching you ladies during this time. It's only three weeks. I am due in one week, if things go as planned. Two of the weeks will have Babycakes on board, or should. I hope you all make the most of it."

Sam didn't have much to say. He was in complete support of the cameras and the scrutiny, for the purpose of finding someone trustworthy enough to look after their baby in a matter of weeks. Being engaged to an online sensation meant that sometimes, life was looked at very closely, anyway, but looking at other people closely for this was something he could agree to.

Ryvie Jones and Mary Evans were around. Any day now, Jonesy would go into labor. Renee Stobb took charge of things, as best as she could, mostly by going through all of Jonesy's already best laid plans and making her own schedule to reflect that. "Jonesy is ridiculously organized and everything has already been thought out. I feel that I need to be ready to place my life on hold and sync my world with hers if I really want this thing."

She shook her head and laughed, annoyed, "Bree spent the entire afternoon playing games with her little sister."

Bree and Ra were sitting on the floor and Bree told her, "Awww, yours looks better than mine! What's all of that? Right there?" She pointed to the finger painting.

"That's ice cream!" Ra cheered.

"Ice cream? I LOVE ICE CREAM!" Bree cheered. "Hey… I wonder if your mom and sister will let us get some. What do you think?" Ra smiled, excitedly and Bree took her hand. "Come on. This is how you ask, nicely, okay?" She asked Ryvie, "Mrs. Jones, if Maserati and I clean up our mess really good, will it be okay for me to buy us some ice cream?"

Ryvie stared at the girl for a bit, then nodded, "If you two clean up all of your mess, Miss Bree can go get you some ice cream and bring it back here. But, you have to help her out, like a big girl, okay?" Ryvie told her toddler, who rushed to follow the instructions while Bree wondered, "So, what kinda ice cream you want me to bring you?"

Bree smiled and told the camera, "I want to be the nanny. I love the ladies. I love their web shows. I loved the Diva Experience. Jonesy's makeup art. Unique's drag. I love all of this stuff. But, I also love hanging out with kids. This job, if I can get it will be someone that I admire in an industry that I adore paying me to do a thing that I love." She traced a circle with her finger, "Full circle win, if I can somehow get this."

The other woman, Mack, was Unique's former personal assistant. She said, "My job became less necessary after Miss Jones came into Unique's life. I still ran some errands and kept up with the studio maintenance - being sure that things were organized and clean and accepting deliveries and keeping up with inventory. But, I lost my job when we lost the studio, so this is going to be very helpful to me. I already have an established ongoing rapport with Miss Jones and I have experience being that extra pair of hands that they speak of…" She frowned, "I don't have much luck with babies, but that's what this training is for, right?"

Sam said, "It's… not training. This is your interview."

"Well, I mean, I can DO babies. I just haven't assisted in the helping with babies department yet. I'm a renaissance woman. I can multitask and I'm a quick learner…" She bit her lip. Sam already looked unimpressed.

He frowned at the camera while Mercedes simply laughed, "She is getting a kick out of this. Not one of these women are right for the job."

"They ALL have their skills," she said. "He's being unfair."

"Babycakes, when you watch this, know that it was your mama's doin,' that you ended up with whatever nanny you'll get stuck with." She laughed even harder, now.

Renee was reading up on doula training made easy while Mack was memorizing the game plan for when Jonesy went into labor. Sam looked at Bree, on her phone and asked, "What are you working on?"

She furrowed her eyebrows and answered, "I'm not working on anything. I'm playing Candy Crush."

"You're... Do you realize that you're in a process to try to get a job?" He asked.

"Of course," she said, stopping her game, "What would you like me to work on Mr. Evans?" She smiled brightly, awaiting instructions.

"I didn't have like anything in mind, particularly. But, the other two ladies are doing their thing," he informed her.

She glanced at them and nodded as she whispered, "They're a little behind. Unique announced that Jonesy would be looking for a nanny months ago! Renee was not familiar with Jonesy, at the time and Mack was familiar, but did not qualify for the job, therefore didn't make any attempts to learn any information. You know why I'm here, Mr. Evans? I am here, because the moment that announcement was made, I contacted the studio with my credentials as a long term neighborhood babysitter, my qualifications as a doula, my work experience in three births, to date and a few years of daycare services, from my own home... complete with references. Neither of these ladies want this job more than me and neither of them are more qualified. I will do whatever you ask me to, but in the meantime, if you've got nothing, I'm really obsessed with Candy Crush."

He folded his arms, "All of that was in your file?"

"I haven't seen my file, but I sure hope so," she said with a smile.

"You're like... 18..."

"You are so sweet and cute, Mr. Evans!" She said and wrinkled her nose, returning to her game.

He shuffled his way over to Jonesy and she was looking miserable and rubbing her belly. "You okay?"

"I'm crazy. This was a terrible idea. Why did I decide to do this?" She asked.

"You're impulsive," he answered honestly.

"I am so damn mad about that fact. I don't want these people in our house and I'm tired of looking at their faces." She grumbled. "But, I can't pull the plug. That'll make me look bad."

"Look bad? How? You have literally, in the past year been violently assaulted (more than once), going through a pregnancy, started a new job, completed a major project, had your workplace burn down, and had a seizure. That has all literally happened to you within a year's time. How are you going to look bad for finally getting tired?" He asked. She shrugged. People would say things. She already knew they would. "I'll shut it down, if I have to. I will go in there right now and say 'Bree won, everybody go home,' if I gotta." She raised an eyebrow.

"Bree? Hmph." She rolled her eyes.

"She's the most qualified, isn't she? Doula and daycare and all that stuff? I don't know, unless she lied, because I didn't see any of that in her file. I combed through those files."

"Nothing to do with her being young and supple and pretty," she commented.

"And nothing to do with a what? She's alright, I guess. I wasn't paying attention. I had my Daddy Glasses on, trying to find my daughter's nanny. But lemme see," he turned and looked at Bree, sized her up and jokingly blew out a whistle. "You're right, Jones. She's got the goods, huh?" The face that she gave him was enough to slay him, but for some reason was met only with his chuckling. "Oh, so you wanted to try to prod me, but you didn't want to hear that. What did you want to hear, Babe? She's invisible outside of the paperwork that claims that she can do the job. I had my money on Stobb, but she doesn't have credentials."

"She's got credentials," Jonesy said. "They all have credentials."

"I mean to take care of a baby and slash or child. Keep up, Jones. This is serious business we are dealing with, here." He threw an arm around her and told her, "I think if you're stressed, we need to pull the plug on this. Its only an online thing and nobody is paying you to do it. You have real shows to consider, coming up sooner than necessary." He gave her a kiss on the side of the head.

"It's only a couple more weeks. Baby will be here in days and I won't even care about the cameras," she said.

"Mmhmm." He intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of her hand.

"But you like Bree, huh?" She repeated.

"I didn't say that. But, I think your mom likes her and your sister likes her. She's good with kids and people. I mean... she plays Candy Crush instead of studies, even though she knows she's being recorded. That's either sheer idiocy or she's confident in the skills."

"And she's pretty," Jonesy said. "I'm not gonna get mad if you admit that the woman is damn pretty, Sam."

"That has nothing to do with the job, though. I thought you would like her for it," he said.

"I do. I'm glad that you chose somebody. That's gonna make all this much easier," she admitted.

"But, it would have been easy if you gave me three resumes with the stuff on them and no photos!" He fussed.

"But, then you would have insisted that you had to see them in action… You're a stubborn man, Sam Evans. You don't make things easy for me."

"I try!" He snuggled against her. "I want to make things better for both of you."

"You'll be perfect. I already know it… I want a foot rub," she said and poked her bottom lip out.

"Stubborn Sam is on it!"