#baby's first post on The Hellsite™ :']

[woeismywaffle]

[binch-i-might-be]

IM GONNA CRY I TYPED AN ENTIRE ASK ABOUT THIS BEFORE AND TUMBLR FUCKED UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT MY BRAIN IS A FUCKING WAR ZONE RIGHT NOW WITH NEURONS SCREAMING AND WHIZZING YOU THINK I CAN ARTICULATE MY MIND ENOUGH TO DO THIS AGAIN???

No but I will ❤️

Okay so I've been thinking™ about the reincarnation au particularly about the one where gwash kills John (fun I know). My brain has been hyperfixating and I've been crying. Serotonin who? Haven't seen that bitch in a month 🥰🥰

So I do need time to properly articulate my thoughts but here's some shit I have so far

Alex practically lives with John for a while after finding him because he needs time to process all this and figure out how to face everything at home

John calling Alex "darling" softly while absolutely clinging to him and Alex almost sobbing and saying "do that again. Call me darling again"

They're all over each other's social medias (also applies for normal reincarnation au. I have some specific posts in mind but will need time to properly think about them and explore them)

God the dynamic between Alex and Gwash is so fucking complicated and so interesting and something I want to explore when my head isn't fucking pounding.

Alex has a Tumblr (fight me on this) and Patsy and Jacky absolutely hunt it down because he's been posting about John and following each and every update and they're just happy for him while they also miss him. They keep Martha and George updated on him from time to time too because they are worried. Not a lot, just that he's alive and fine.

Alex has Trauma from all that and like eventually he's not like in the same place as John for the night (I don't know how to phrase this arghhhh. Does he go back? Where is he? No clue) and he has a nightmare about losing John all over again and straight up panicking. The nightmares aren't unusual ofc it's just they were there for each other during the others. Now Alex is like panic™ and he calls John in the middle of the night and they both fall asleep on the call

John cannot be in the same room as Gwash without sort of freaking out at first.

Okay good night I'm very tired ❤️ (so sorry for this oof)

OH NO 😭 HELLSITE OUR BELOATHED

what a wonderful thing to fixate on /j but yeah I get that! we are nearing the anniversary of me writing bud bloom wither and I mean I was basically fixating on an au about a dead baby for a month straight lmao

ok ok hrhskdhfjf let's go gays

yeah absolutely. he can't be home right now, and he ESPECIALLY can't be away from John right now

OUCH. ALSO YES

yeah!!!! they're annoyingly in love and both of them will just post random pics of the other because like. look??? at their boyfriend??? look how pretty?? b o y f r i e n d (omg feel free to share once you're ready!!)

hhhh yeah it's. fucked. it's fucked! because that's his dad and he loves his dad but 200 years ago he took the most important thing in Alex's life from him. he thinks he can understand why he did it; he wanted to protect him, he always just wanted to protect him, but this is unforgivable. they aren't the same people as they were back then, but still. how is he supposed to move past this. he can't force his boyfriend to make nice with the man who murdered him. he won't.

no you're correct, of course he does! I think Patsy probably already follows him, but she won't give Jack the url until she's entirely certain he's on their side. they're just looking at his incoherent shitposting broken up by rants about how much he loves his boyfriend and going "yeah he's definitely alive" to their parents lmao

awww baby :( baby boy :( maybe they go on facetime and John looks all soft and sleepy and it calms Alex down immediately. meanwhile John wishes he could reach out and wipe Alex's tears :((

understandable! he probably tries to be chill because on some level he doesn't want to admit that he's affected by this, but. no no he cannot be in a room with gwash, he can't.

ahhh get well soon!!!! <33