#back to your regular scheduled programming of fandom shit

[hiraethwrote]

ANYWAYS — started s2 of aot 🤭

[vonlipvig]

ok watched hamilton for the first time and....yeah, that was really good wow

[dokuhan]

Oofuri XMas Exchange

Title: It Could Happen One Day Rating: PG Fandom: Ookiku Furikabutte Pairing: Mihashi Ren/Abe Takaya Summary: Or...the four times Abe Takaya thought Christmas was completely and totally ruined, but it actually turned out pretty, okay.  Notes: HOLY SHIT IT’S FINALLY DONE.

Hey hey hey, @jaesti it’s your Secret Santa~~ I’m sorry this took so long, I had this really cute idea and wanted to make sure it was perfect, but life kept kicking me in the face. Sorry it’s unbetaed, but I hope you like it all the same! Yuletide blessings~! <3 

The first really was just unfortunate circumstance. It was probably kind of their own fault, really. Their relationship was barely a few weeks old, and outside of Oki finding out by accident nobody knew they were together. It was still super tentative and overwhelming for two 17-year-old boys and they didn’t want to rock the boat right away.

But at the same time, Takaya wanted their first Christmas together to be special, dammit.

The plan was to keep it as low key as possible and play it by ear. See a movie, grab food, maybe something along those lines. Neither one of them had ever dated before so they didn’t exactly know how it worked, but it would still be pretty fun. It had taken a lot of sneaking around and excuses to get out of hanging out with the rest of the team too.

All that secrecy might have been their downfall, though.

“Abe-kun, it’s so great to see you again!”

Now to be absolutely clear, Takaya had absolutely no problem with Ruri. They barely knew each other, but what little interaction they had was far from unpleasant. He just didn’t want her third-wheeling on what was supposed to be a romantic evening.

“I d-didn’t know she was visiting…” Ren mumbled when they finally had a chance to talk. His head was down, but Takaya swore he could see Ren’s eyes boring holes into Ruri’s back as she walked leisurely ahead of them. “Mom said she should hang out with me and my friends.”

“Right. Because that’s what we said we were doing.” Takaya rubbed his face, breathing in deeply, “Now what?”

“Should…should we call someone? M-maybe Yuu-kun is around o-or Shouji-kun…”

“Yeah, and then then what?”

Ren made an uncomfortable noise and shrunk down a little, which made Takaya feel absolutely guilty but they both knew he was right. So yeah…they were stuck. Awesome.

And he tried to be nice about it, he really, really did – but it was just…Ruri was just there, all the time. She was an unavoidable, unmoving object placed there purely to ruin his Christmas.

When they went to grab food, she slid into the booth next to Ren before Takaya could even make it to the table. The movie was out of the question, because they couldn’t agree on something the three of them would enjoy. She dragged them through every crowded street, lamenting about how there were so many happy couples around them and yet the three of them were alone completely oblivious to the fact that IT. WAS. SUPPOSED. TO BE. A DATE.

Then there was the game center. That frigging game center. On a regular day, it was miserable. Too many people and a lot of noise – far from his cup of tea. Ren was even worse about it. But Ruri insisted, saying it was the perfect atmosphere for whatever tangent she found herself on, because Takaya had stopped listening long before that.

If he hated the game center normally, then on Christmas it was an absolute nightmare. By the time they pushed through the crowd, Takaya was ready to rip his hair out. Ren looked absolutely rattled too, reaching to cover his ears.

“Oh! Let’s try that one out,” Ruri exclaimed, reaching to pull Ren along, “RenRen, come on it’s not that bad.”

“Yes it is!”

Takaya whipped his head around, surprised that he could hear Ren over the rest of the noise.

Ruri looked just as surprised, letting her arms drop. She pouted a little, “Okay, so it’s busy, but I just want us to have fun. You’ve both been so grumpy.”

“B-because we wanted to be alone! It was supposed to be the two of us!”

She looked at the two of them, at first completely bewildered, but then as the dots connected in her head her eyes widened, “Oh…oh…OH! You guys…oh my god.” She covered her mouth, and Takaya braced himself for some kind of disgust, but instead, “I had no idea! I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Mom d-doesn’t know…n-nobody knows.”

Takaya sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “We haven’t been on an actual date yet. We’re still figuring this out.”

“Oh no, oh my god. I’m such a jerk. I can’t believe this.” She frowned, deeply.

That maybe, possibly made Takaya feel just a little bad. It obviously wasn’t her fault and she didn’t mean any of it, but it didn’t change the fact that their night was completely ruined. Having everything out in the open probably made it worse too, because now there were three miserable people spending Christmas together instead of just two.

“Wait, I think I might have an idea,” Ruri pushed past them, “You guys wait here, I’ll be right back.”

It wasn’t like they could move anywhere else, anyway.

Takaya covered his own ears, moving in close to Ren, “I guess there’s always next year.”

“I’m so sorry, Takaya-kun.”

“Don’t. We’ll try again.”

Ruri grabbed onto the back of his shirt, “Okay, you two, come with me.”

She led the two of them up an escalator and down a hallway. She opened one of the doors, revealing a small karaoke room, “I could only get an hour, sorry. But I’ll be downstairs. Merry Christmas.”

With the door closed, most of the sounds coming from the lower level and other rooms muffled out.

Ren looked completely relieved and plopped down on the seat.

Takaya was quick to join him and stretched his legs forward. “So…should we put something on?”

“No, um…” Ren looked a little red, but lowered his head, resting it on Takaya’s shoulder, “I-is…is this okay? I don’t…it’s been a lot.”

Takaya felt his heart beating out of his chest, but he still moved his arm to rest around Ren’s waist, “Yeah, it’s okay.”

It was the best hour he had all year.

--

By their second Christmas and last year in high school, everyone was in the loop. It was understood and generally expected that they were going to be spending the holiday together. Takaya was determined to make it work that year. He pre-ordered movie tickets, looked up hole in the wall restaurants that he was certain wouldn’t be totally crowded, saved up all of his money, and even bought a new shirt for the occasion. After the mess the previous year had been, he was ready to call this their first real Christmas.

Until Japan had what had to have been its heaviest snowfall in all of history.

It had actually started early on the 23rd and the news reports had repeated over and over again that it would be done by the next afternoon, only for the winds to pick up and drop another foot on Saitama over the next two days. Takaya swore it was spite. Some god in the heavens probably saw him and went, “Yeah, that guy? Abe Takaya? Fuck him.”

So that nixed everything. Roads were closed. Trains weren’t running on schedule. Even if places were open there was no way the two of them could get there, much less to each other.

Which left Takaya to sulk in his room. Alone. On Christmas.

He huffed and placed his head on his desk. His mom had tried to reassure him that they could do something in few days, or he could even invite Ren over for the new year, but that just soured his move even more. None of that would be the same, he just wanted this one thing.

When his phone vibrated against his desk, he could feel it in his teeth. He wanted to ignore it, figuring it was one of his parents trying to get his attention. But then he figured it was easier than having them come up to lecture him, so he reached for it anyway.

To his surprise – it was Ren. Ren, who avoided phone calls like the plague. Ren, who initiated emails and conversations once every hundred thousand years when the planets perfectly aligned.

And even more shockingly, it was a video call.

He swiped it open, half expecting Ren to realize he made a mistake and hang up right away.

But there he was, sitting on his bed with the phone at a somewhat awkward, yet definitely intentional angle. “Hi…” he started, a little shakily.

“Hey…”

“I…wanted to see you…”

“Yeah?”

Ren nodded, swallowing hard. The phone shook a little as he fiddled with it, “Yeah.”

Takaya leaned forward, resting the phone against the wall and put his arms under his chin, “This sucks.”

“It’s so cold. And deep. I wanted to come over but my bike—”

“What?! Are you insane? What if you slipped on some ice and broke your arm, or worse cracked your head open?”

He flinched, “I would have been careful.”

“Jeez, just because Koushien is over doesn’t mean you can be so reckless.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, wait just…be careful. At least until we hear back from that scout.”

“Okay…I, um, I wanted…I miss you.”

Takaya felt the tips of his ears warm up, “Yeah, you too.”

They spent the entire day on the phone. By the time Takaya hung up, only because Ren looked ready to pass out and Shun was complaining about him being too loud, his phone felt a bit overheated. Nevertheless, as he plugged it into the charger for the umpteenth time, it still felt like a Christmas well spent.

Next year would be even better, too.

--

The next year was not better. They were together, but it was so, so bad.

Takaya thought living together would have made things like going on dates significantly easier. They weren’t in the city center itself, but close enough to it that they could go out and about whenever the mood struck. Everyone in their building kept mostly to themselves too, so nobody really bothered them. With all this in mind, Christmas should have been a cinch.

Then came Suzuya.

Before that day, Takaya had never met Suzuya and he was pretty sure Ren only ran into her a handful of times. She was a third year at the medical school connected to their university but their paths had never really crossed, despite the fact Takaya was a first year in that same program. Aside from the occasional noise through the paper thin walls, they wouldn’t have even known someone was renting.

But because it was Christmas Eve and they had the worst luck, that’s when she decided to formally introduce herself.

“I made strew because I thought I was going to be home tonight and tomorrow, but some friends invited on a trip,” she held out the pot to Takaya, smiling brightly, “you just need to keep it in the fridge until you’re ready and then heat it up on the stove. You and your roommate play baseball, right? Athletes need to eat.”

“You really don’t have to do this, we have plans tomorrow night and the rest of it will go to waste.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s still better than all of it going to waste. You could have it for lunch tomorrow too. Please, Abe-kun, I insist.”

So he took the stupid pot and put it in the fridge. When Ren got home from visiting is parents, Takaya put it on the stove and followed all the instructions Suzuya had given him. It tasted pretty alright, nothing to write home about and he figured it would work okay for lunch the next day.

And then 4:43AM rolled around.

Takaya had been the first to wake up, feeling slightly off. He swallowed a bit as the weird feeling traveled through his throat and face. He swallowed again. He tried to will himself to get up for some water, but then that ominous thought crossed his mind, “If you sit up, you’re going to throw up.”

He turned his head to look at Ren, silently hoping that this was just some kind of stomach bug and not what he suspected. He wiggled his way out from under Ren’s arm and rolled off the futon, holding his breath as his stomach gurgled. He started to crawl his way to the bathroom when that NOW. NOW. NOW. urgency hit him like a ton of bricks. Takaya scrambled to his feet and ran to the toilet, just barely making it before retching.

When he finally raised his head out of the toilet and flushed, he heard Ren coughing from the kitchen – probably on the tail end of his own vomiting spell. Takaya placed his head against the seat, “I’m going to kill Suzuya.”

It took until the early afternoon for the vomiting and bathroom trips to stop. Hanai had swung by in the hours before to bring them ginger ale, throw out the rest of the stew, clean up Suzuya’s pot, and set up their rice cooker for when they were feeling better.

“If anything,” he commented as he dried the top, “at least you two are consistent. Call me if you guys need anything else. If you’re feeling better by tonight I’m having cake with Shouji-kun and Yuuta-kun, maybe you can swing by.”

As Takaya crawled back into the futon, though, he knew that wasn’t even a possibility. “Christmas is cursed,” he groaned.

Ren buried his head into the pillow, “I’m never eating ever again.”

He pulled the extra blanket up higher, covering their shoulders, “Don’t say that. We’re just never eating anything Suzuya makes, ever again.”

“Mmm…” Ren moved in closer.

Their third Christmas consisted of a few good hours of sleep and two bowls rice of rice seeped in tea. They watched some dumb variety show on TV and read an article about some new baseball anime that would be starting in January. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked.

When Takaya returned the pot a few days later and told Suzuya about the food poisoning, she just shrugged.

“Oh,” Suzuya said, coolly, “that’s too bad.”

And that was when Takaya realized their neighbor was fucking insane.

But that’s a story for another time.

--

The most recent was because Takaya was a giant moron.

Ren was out for most of the day, finishing a project with two of his classmates. That gave Takaya all the time in the world to prepare for their quiet Christmas at home. His motivation going into all of it was the idea that if their attempts to go out always failed, maybe staying at home would work in their favor.

And at that point, it was actually working out in his favor. Suzuya had moved out weeks before (thank god), he hadn’t burned down the house making dinner, and the dishes weren’t a complete pain to clean up. That just left one thing.

Takaya reached into the pocket of his sweatshirt and pulled out a small box. He felt like an idiot, but Yuuto-kun had made a joke way back in the summer, and the idea stuck in the back of his head. He opened it up and pulled it out to inspect it.

It wasn’t an engagement ring, okay? It wasn’t that serious. It was…a promise of what could maybe, possibly, hopefully become one someday. Ren definitely wouldn’t wear it all the time, it would probably break during practice, and Takaya doubted it would ever actually leave the box but…well…ugh…

His all the lamenting about his dumb ideas, his brain decided that holding the ring in between his thumb and index finger was too much of a strain. It slipped out of his grip and clanked first against the edge of the counter, then into the sink, and finally into the drain. He swore he saw his entire bank account flash in front of his eyes.

Just as he was about to scream, he noticed that it hadn’t completely fallen down and was just sitting at the very bottom. Surely, surely he could get it out. All he hand to do was reach in and…

How was he supposed to know his hand would get stuck?!

Even more panic rushed through his body as he heard the door open and close behind him.

“I’m home…” Ren greeted.

“Welcome back…help me.”

Ren rushed over to his side, looked down at his hand, at Takaya’s face, and then back down in the sink. He pressed his lips firmly closed to stifle a laugh.

“No, this isn’t funny. I’m stuck. Help.”

“O-okay, just…” he struggled as he tried not to laugh, “h-how did y-you…”

“I’ll explain later. Get butter.”

All the butter did was make his hand feel disgusting, so did the oil. It was amazing he was still holding onto the ring when all was said and done.

When he finally gave in and let Ren call 119, the paramedics laughed at him for a solid minute. Still they were able to pull his hand out without breaking it, so it was worth it.

The ring did slip out of his fingers again, but thankfully it just fell onto the edge of the sink. Of course it was right where Ren could see it, though.

Ren’s eyes widened a bit. The paramedics looked at the two of them, one looked mortified and quickly scurried out while the other stopped to clap his shoulder before following after. Takaya mentally screamed at the demon that seemed intent to ruin every Christmas he had with Ren.

 Takaya sighed and leaned against the counter, careful of his still tender hand, “I’m not asking you to…it’s not like…maybe someday?”

Ren picked up the ring and wiped it on his shirt. It didn’t really fit when he slid it on his finger, but they could probably get it resized after the new year. “Someday.”

They both knew they had countless Christmases to get it right.  

[lethesomething]

A writer tag thing

I was tagged by @tottwritesfanfic and it’s an excuse to talk about fanfic. Let's do this!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

Uh. Um. Since I am an Old, this username has existed since forever, and acquiring it involved a goth themed IRC chat room and some virtual naked table dancing. The Lethe refers to the River of Oblivion in ancient Greek Underworld mythology, because again, I was Very Goth at the time. I'd… I'ma leave it at that.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

That'll be Chocolate Hearts. It's not the one with the most hits, because it's not porn, but it's getting there, considering it was only posted in August. That whole fic was such an incredible experience, because I was getting daily feedback from people as I was writing publishing it.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

It's Shimizu Kiyoko, because I still mostly write Haikyuu, and because she's awesome (and I, too, wish to be awesome).

Let’s put a cut here because this is Long.

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I'd rather not name names, but I met at least one of my friends through AO3 comments. There's also a commenter whose style I liked so much that I started copying it for comments on other people's work. I absolutely notice when people drop by regularly, and I love every one of those people. I try to follow them back. There are few feelings more rewarding to me as a writer than seeing someone like one of my stories, and then go through the other ones I wrote for that fandom.

 5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I don't regularly re-read fics, because I have enough trouble keeping up with fiction I feel like I *should* be reading. In that sense, the ones I keep going back to are the long ones I'm subscribed to. Bell, book and candle is my go-to plane fic for when I'm travelling, for instance. It's a 1k page pdf on my phone and I try to go back and comment on the chapters I finished when I get to a computer (or like three months later, most likely).

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

*Opens statistics page* I don't so much subscribe to stories, as I do to people. And I'm apparently subscribed to 22 people. I have 33 bookmarks, but that's mostly because sometimes I'll go back through my history and bookmarks stuff that I still like a few months later.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Urban fantasy. That seems to be the AU where my mind goes into every single direction and comes back with 60k worth of words every time. Also, a disproportionate amount of characters in my fics end up being bakers or baristas. So, uh, make of that what you will.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Um, I have 36 user subscriptions. 299 bookmarks. And 117 subscriptions to various fics.

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Well, there's always stuff you come up with that maybe shouldn't be put to paper. When it comes to very self-indulgent, or very smutty, I try to stay my hand. I struggled a long time with whether or not I should publish any smut at all, because I don't want like… my colleagues to find it. What I ended up with, was several fail safes, and the promise to myself that I would only write… acceptable smut (so no werewolf orgies for you! not that I, uh, would write them otherwise).

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

So, uh, the very specific reason I started writing smut at all, was because that is the hardest thing to do. For me. Sex is, a lot of the time, awkward and funny and feely and there's a lot of emotions and actions going on, and I very specifically do not want to write lifeless mechanical porn sex. Because that's not what I'm here for. But that's difficult. I write to have the kind of stuff I want to Read, and I'm very friggin picky when it comes to smut, so it takes me longer to write 1k of smut than it does to write 20k of teen rated fluff. I wish I was better on that front.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

It's a mixed bag. I'm pretty sure me and @leeva-art  are the pioneers of all ShinToko content. And I did that whole SugaTen one. Looking through the list, I actually did a fair amount of rarepair shorts. I kinda like writing rarepairs because there's a lot more of the dynamic for me to explore.  But I'm currently writing a series full of popular ships (YamaYachi, DaiSuga, KageHina, IwaOi), because sometimes, those are popular for a reason. To be honest, I think the ship I write most is 'x reader', and I'm fairly certain that's an under-reported popular ship.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

I have 21 works on AO3 in total. All of those are finished one-shots or multichapters, except the one I'm currently working on. Yes, I'm proud of this :P.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

Oh god. So apart from the current multichapter one I have… one longish romance story that's been gathering dust for two years (The Aomine. I swear I will finish it one day), and… about four smut shorts in various states of unfinished-ness. And an Aizawa short that is like smut in the sense that it's a lot of action and feels and I'm Struggling.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I do both. I'm a bit of a daydreamer, so I like to play ideas and scenarios in my head for a while, and then I jot them down when they've grown enough. But I'm also a talker, and anyone who has chatted with me for any length of time probably knows that an Idea can take root in a convo and I basically talk it out and two months later there's a massive fic brewing. My brain is an overexcited puppy.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Nope. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just not sure how that would work practically.

16. How did you discover AO3?

It's all Rin's fault. I pretty much only got into fanfic after watching Free! and discovering the joys of tumblr. Fairly certain I discovered AO3 while looking for Quality SouRin.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

Ahahahaha…no.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

That would be weird? I'm not Lady Gaga.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I've been writing since I was a little girl. So the first stories I wrote were probably inspired by that one teacher I had when I was eight, that kept saying I was good at this. But I remember in my teens, wanting to write like Anthony Horowitz, and later like Terry Prattchett, or Douglas Adams. As for writing fanfic, that is the fault of Aleramicci and A Shadow so Great. That was the first time I saw someone take that level of world building and lore creation and character development, and spin it into this… epic tale. Because I have always imagined scenarios and characters in my day dreams, I was creating alternate endings for the Three Musketeers at 13, but I didn't think anyone else was willing to read them. I thought fanfic was, well, smut. And she showed me that you can create worlds out of nearly nothing (please remember that 2014 League of Legends Lore was total shit), and do it Well, and write it well, and… ugh.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Ok, where's that meme. I think the main thing is… just do it. You've got stories, you write them. But know that it is work. Like every hobby, it takes time, it takes energy and effort. You need to Make that Time. Very few people can sit down and just have the words flow out of their fingers. For most, it's Work. Once you know that, and you make the conscious decision to do the work, you can get shit done.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I try to plot up to a certain level but I leave room for a lot of improv. Like especially for longer fics, I'll have a vague idea of where the characters end up and what needs to happen for the finale to… happen. The actual scenes aren't plotted though. I write better when I just let the scene take me where it wants to go. I've learned a lot from the Lock, the Key and the Sacrifice, in that it was my first Very Long multichaptered fic and it was Mostly Improvised. This meant that some character development got lost, and that I had to write myself out of some weird situations but also, some of the best scenes in that fic are complete bursts of random inspiration. Since then, I've gotten a bit more organized. I use OneNote to jot down 'spur of the moment' scenes to slot into stories later, and to make time lines and character profiles and all that. The actual fic is still me opening the Word doc and going 'ok, it's day six in this story, what should happen today'.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

I don't think so? AO3 readers are very nice and disciplined, I think. Either that or I've been very lucky. All I've gotten were a few comments that left me flustered, mostly along the lines of 'when are you updating', when I keep a very tight schedule. That sort of thing. I just leave those be.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

See above: smut.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Currently, My Girlfriend is a Goddess?!, which is a fantasy exchange gift that ballooned into a very long, multichapter and possibly trilogy book type thing.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

The Plan is to finish book one of My Girlfriend is a Goddess?! (the YamaYachi, aka the actual exchange gift), then take a break for some one-shots and whatnot, and then continue to book two (the DaiSuga one). So yes, I do try to stay somewhat disciplined. This isn't to say that inspiration can't strike like a vengeful god and I have to rearrange the whole thing. Chocolate Hearts happened while I was trying to work on the TenSuga, and it got written in like a month of furious typing. Shit just happens, man.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

No. I have a very unstable work schedule, and sometimes I'm just tired. I try to get certain chapters finished on a weekly basis though. I learned with NaNo that when I try to write too much in one go, the output is also not that great. I need to write, and then do a whole bunch of editing, and then write again.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Things are certainly going smoother now than they did two years ago. It's a certain… confidence? I think? A rhythm you get into. I got wordier, too. Not sure if that's a good thing.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

This is hard. That is a hard question. For the longest time, my fave story was Balance. But if I read it now, it does show its age. So I'm going to say The lock, the key and the sacrifice. I will always be super proud of that, because that's my first and currently only 'book' and I worked a year and a half on it. Not every part of it is amazing, but there's some Pretty Good Parts and I just felt such an immense relief and… satisfaction on finishing it.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

One of the first things I published was an Iwaizumi smut short. It's… ok, but it has some issues that I would iron out if I were to write it again.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

When I was little I had this Plan to write a bestseller and sell it to Hollywood and then buy a castle in Scotland and basically be JK Rowling, but I sincerely doubt that's going to happen. Goals, tho.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Coming up with random shit that blossoms into big, huge ideas and worlds and complicated plot lines. Like… that happens without me trying.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

The bit where you sit down to write through a part you've been struggling with. Those few paragraphs that you need to connect scene A and scene B, for it to make logical sense.

33. Why do you write?

Because I like it. Because I enjoy building worlds and scenes and characters, and sharing them. Because like all kinds of creative work, it has gained me relationships and connections to people I resonate with. Also, ngl, for the kudos and the comments. I get a lot of joy from seeing people enjoying my work.

 The tagging part. Um, I dunno if @skittidyne has done this one yet.  Also the usual suspects: @bsinoranges, @haruhi02 and @thekuroiookami   Consider it a subtle nudge if anyone else wants to do this.

[layesica]

Goodbye 2018: A Year in Review with Some Stuff Left Out

Guys… this year, I saw Dear Evan Hansen. Well… I guess we’re done here!

Yeah. You’re not getting off that easy. I would very much like to have a rant here, but I’m resisting the temptation. What’s done is done, so no point in wasting time thinking about it. 

Have I ever done this as bullet points? Do I always do it as bullet points, but don’t remember that because I’m tired? Well, here are the bullet points of a year gone by…

JANUARY

• Started the year with Pack people. No kiss at midnight. This was a continuing trend…

• My schedule was all over the place. Tech and Front of House all willy-nilly.

• Started Grad Revue at Second City. I worked with a whole new group of people because that’s how it worked for me. Worked in the office to pay for it.

• Started my second Whole Life Challenge.

• Auditioned for the Universal Studios Tour Guide Program. Got the callback, but failed the improv. This was a continuing trend…

• For fun? Oh! I went roller skating for Sandy’s birthday. I friggin’ love roller skating, y’all!

• Rediscovered the Los Feliz 3. Saw Lady Bird and I, Tonya.

FEBRUARY

• Things got a little more ordered. Grad Revue, Second City office, Very Famous… all my nights were allocated!

• I started working exclusively tech at The Pack and exclusively Fridays. Hunter asked me to host Go Sketch Yourself, so Katie D. and I did it from the booth. My very niche bad tech sketch went over so well with this crowd!

• Went to the Opera for the first time to see Candide. It had Kelsey Grammar in it? Still enjoyable.

• Met some friends at Gracias Madre. I’d been wanting to try it since I moved here. Finally! Expensive and scene-y, but good!

• At the end of the month, I went part-time at the hotel because… well, there were no benefits to being there full-time, and I have shit to do, y’all!

• Got a Conan taping in there.

• Ordered some Samoas from a neighborhood Girl Scout. Someone tried to sabotage me, but I got those cookies and put them in my face! Finally!

• This year had two themes: 1) Forgiveness and, conversely, 2) You are dead to me now. Forgiveness started at the end of this month. It was an awkward first step, but sometimes it’s good to take a first step. I guess it’s just looking at the big picture of whether, as a whole, someone is a positive in your life or a negative.

• I did something terrible. I killed Gary. He was a delightful little aloe (according to Reddit, an aloe aristata). He was in a sugar skull planter from Trader Joe’s. I couldn’t tell that I was overwatering him. I overwatered him to death. I am a terrible plant parent. I still feel awful.

• Another loss. My trusty Herschel backpack finally gave out. So, I got a new one. Not a Herschel. A cheaper one.

MARCH

• Mom and Dad came to visit. They got a nice AirBNB right down the street from me... but the plumbing was shot. So we got to spend a week at The Hollywood Hampty! (Thanks, George!) We went to a Conan taping. We went to Madame Tussaud’s… um… yeah. Did the double decker tour bus that I get for free because I sell them at work. We dropped by Eataly. I need to go back there. We got free breakfast every day!

• I went to a party! I don’t normally do that.

• I got to be in Book Report at The Pack. Buzz Aldrin was seated in the front row I had to do a quick change into an elaborate costume and ran out with my dress tucked into my tights.

• I learned that when you do someone a huge favor, they don’t always reciprocate in kind, so you should bear that in mind when you choose to share.

APRIL

• Took a day trip to Venice and Santa Monica. Walked around the canals. That was neat.

• I doggie-sat for George and Ian with Parker -- a very, very good dog. Their apartment is so serene PLUS they left me gin and tonic and an adorable call sheet with Parker’s day outlined. Nice!

• I interviewed for the page program at Paramount thanks to Sandy’s recommendation. Didn’t get it. Maybe they felt like I was too old. I don’t know. They seemed impressed with my resume, but I still haven’t been called in for an interview for a regular job. This is a continuing trend… At least I got to have some Texas-style margaritas in the build up.

• Started Sketch 3 at The Pack. Old version. Just talking about the history of comedy and other comedy nerd / writer pursuits with Mike Upchurch . This may have been my favorite comedy class ever. Got some insider Mr. Show information. It’s the fandom that keeps giving!

• Saw Scott Thompson’s Buddy Cole Monologues at UCB. Accidentally made eye contact with Bruce McCulloch. It was a very exciting night for me.

• During Very Famous’s April Show, I gave this gift to my family back in Texas.

MAY

• Gallegos visited and did Go Sketch Yourself.

• He and Eloy came to opening night of my Grad Revue — Clickbait & Switch. Oh yeah! My Grad Revue at Second City opened.

• FYC Season, y’all! Netflix had some good stuff! I got to take a picture of Emily with Marty Short which enjoying the open bar and passed tray foods.

• Lindsey came to visit. Lots of Marvel. I probably will not be seeing any more Marvel, though. Unless they hire me for that job I applied for. Then, I would love Marvel! We went to Universal and my favorite Harry Potter ride broke down. Then, we rode it again immediately. And then I had motion sickness that lasted 7 days

• Brent Forrester started a series of Comedy Knowledge Drops at Dynasty Typewriter. They were so good! He is great!

• Put up a sketch at The Pack’s Ladies of Sketch Night with a dream team of actors. Also, go to dance again, but, sadly, I always end up in the back. Too many ladies!

• My calendar simply says “BOB!” I imagine I saw Bob at something… Oh, Dynasty Typewriter! It was fundraiser for one of their employees to renew her visa or something. Took photos of Emily and a very nice BrBa/BCS fan with Bob before we walked through Murder Park to get to the train.

• An actor that I very much had a crush on stayed at our hotel. He’s been on a downhill slide for a while and was obviously pretty high. He was also a jerk to the person who check him in. But he was nice to me… and when he smiled at me while thanking me for calling a cab, I kind of died a little on the inside. I wish I had the video from our security cam, but I’ll just have to remember it in my mind. When I got home from work and turned on the TV, there he was in a terrible movie.

• Went on an easy hike to a waterfall in Altadena.

JUNE

• Went to ATX fest again! Mom & Dad came and stayed a night at the hotel with me. Lindsey and Andrea met up the second day. It wasn’t as fun because I live in this place where I’m constantly surrounded by TV stuff. They did a Better Call Saul thing, so I got to go to that. I had some TexMex. It was A LOT.

• Flew back from Texas earlier than I had planned because our Grad Revue closed that Sunday. We did our final show, then received our diplomas and t-shirts. I am now a Second City Graduate. But not “Alumni.” That’s different… and also not possible in Hollywood. I also resigned from my work-study job with enough hours to take 3 more classes. It was sad, but I needed that time back to make money.

• Took in some Fringe shows. I’m so supportive! But also, the lack of reciprocal support is not exclusive to comedy people. That’s a thing I learned.

• I auditioned for Sketch at Second City. Didn’t get it. This is a continuing trend…

• Went on a little weekend trip to Long Beach. Checked out the aquarium. Did a whale tour. Saw an actual whale tail. Had some decent barbecue. Got a sunburn. I recommend the Hotel Maya near the Queen Mary. All the cookies you can eat! And they have fire pits!

JULY

• This was a light month, but that was fine because…

• I went to Comic Con in San Diego! We got volunteer badges. I ended up catching a ride with my friend, Osiokeh, so I got to spend one night at the hotel connected to the Convention Center. So nice! Well, I spent part of the night because there was a Better Call Saul Panel in Hall H, so I had to camp out waiting for my wristband. Of course, they had issues and that took forever. Then, I slept for 4 hours then went to get back in line. I sat through so much stuff AND that place pretty much emptied out for some boring panels. Not enough for me to upgrade my seating, but I could have just not done that at all.I did not budget enough time to get to my volunteer shift, so I had to scoot as soon as that was over. My volunteer job SUCKED! Gordon was nice enough to come look for me, but they didn’t allow us to have phones, so I missed him. So sad. What a sweetheart, though. :(

• Volunteering at Comic-con… Oof! I just kept getting the wrong shifts. They were torturous! The last day was a complete mess, and I was one of the last volunteers standing… because of course I was. At the end of all this, I was like, “NEVER AGAIN!” I did enjoy finding a hotel to work at and just people watching. I guess the first year is when you learn. I totally missed the badge sale for 2019!

• I finally started Improv 2 at The Pack. Neal Dandade was great! All new people again!

AUGUST

• Did a better convention… CAT CON! Now, this is where I belong. I won a Litter Genie and the cat-weed company gave Penelope a CatIt Flower Fountain. She is obsessed! So, I guess it may have been better than weed. We may never know. I met Cindy from @foster_kittens. She was very nice… but the main event was meeting Felix. He was so soft, but so over being petted by strangers! I signed up to be a foster, but with a chupacabra in our apartment, I decided against it. That’ll change.

• Season 3 of Better Call Saul started. Then I started a class, so I had to miss watching it live. Emily and I watched the first one with… some refreshments. It was so good! I am turning on Jimmy as he turns into Saul though. Like, I super hated him right at the end there. We’ll wait for Gene to roll around. Oh Gene. My heart.

• Went to San Diego for a weekend. Nice to check it out as a tourist. Walked across a swinging bridge. Spent hours at the USS Midway. Went on a paddle boat ride. Checked out a Padres game at Petco Park. Almost died on a Bird scooter.

• Finally started that Late Night Writing class. It finally worked out. I love it. I wrote jokes and people liked them. I guess I can write them after all.

• Took a one-day class on sketch writing from improv with Kevin McDonald from Canada’s Kids in the Hall. It was fun. Lots of nerds. We wrote 2 sketches.

• Went to see David Cross with Emily. Took myself to Umami before hand. We got some Bonus Bob!

• Other shows: So You Do Comedy…? at UCB. Chris had John and Jessie Ennis. That was fun. Kevin McDonald did a variety show at the Lyric Hyperion Theater. First time there. Cute place! We sat so close. Tim Heidecker dropped a guitar stand on me.

SEPTEMBER

• Improv 3 at The Pack Started. Shaun Landry showed us how to be actors. We did prepared monologues for a class that John Conroy subbed. Shaun said he told her he wanted to tape one of them because it was so good. She said Justin. There was no Justin. No one even close except Jessica. So, I’m just gonna assume he meant me. Because I need it for this next thing…

• Submitted a reel to be a performer on my or a TPT Sketch Team. Didn’t get a callback. I’m starting to think maybe I am not a good performer. But giving up isn’t a thing I do, so I’ll keep trucking along. At least I get to feel like I’m SNL-era Bob Odenkirk. And from what I heard from a person who worked with him around this time, we have/had about the same pitching style for this level in our careers. That makes me feel better. But, like, he was at SNL and I’m at a little theater in Hollywood… and also he’s a genius… so maybe not that much the same.

• The good news is that I get to continue as a writer on Very Famous.

• I also got to play a terrible British stereotype in a sketch with friends at Go Sketch Yourself and UCB’s Everybody Get In Here. Multiple people told me how funny they thought I was in it. I accidentally dressed like Oliver Hardy, but thinner and with boobs.

• Dana Gould did Chopping Block at The Pack. That was amazing! They needed extras and, oh, how I wanted to be in something one of my heroes wrote… but also I wanted to watch it. So I chose the latter. I’m good with that.

• At work, a guy from Fox News yelled at me over the phone because of something dumb. I don’t even remember. Cool guy.

• Briefly joined an improv practice group. Quickly realized that I am too poor for that.

• Started another Whole Life Challenge. It had been a while.

• Went to another Conan taping. It turned out to be the last. September 18. 25 years and 5 days after I first watched Conan on late night television. A few weeks after this, the hour-long show would cease to be. A total surprise to me. A half-hour replacement coming in January.

OCTOBER

• Oh yeah! Back in September, Andrew asked if I would like to be in The Ointment at The Pack. Um… OF COURSE! So I got to play a character who murdered her husband… 10 years after she wrote a blog post about how she would do it. I also played an Octopus tentacle. It was so fun!

• Ian asked me to be in some short, blackout videos he was making to remind people to vote. That was fun, too!

• Briana asked me to be in her sketch for Tales from the Laugh Dimension at The Pack. Duh! Of course! I also did a couple of things with her for open mic sketch shows. It was a lot of fun.

• The best thing about all these parts I got was that right around this time, someone who was grasping at straws to make me a bad person declared that I was “angry about all the sketches I didn’t get cast in.” LOL Yeah, about that. So, I guess things do happen for a reason.

• After a couple months of looking for a full-time position, so I could get out of my living situation because of it being a danger to Penelope, I kicked that into overdrive. I wish I could have kept my old place, as I was the only one who really loved it, but also, all the sage in the world wouldn’t be able to vanquish the bad joo-joo. This turned out for the better in the long run.

• But more good things happen! Hunter suggested that I help produce a show at The Pack for Halloween as part of WPCK. We did an exquisite corpse with all-female writers and an all-female cast (but a male director because… I guess… let’s not go overboard?) based on the Bill Joel video for Allentown, the play No Time for Sargents (watch the TV version of this, please) and Ragnar Benson’s series of survival books. I got a pretty big part and memorized the shit out of my lines… only to have my entire intro skipped. So, I had some confusing costuming, but the whole thing was kind of that way… and I guess we can just blame the format anyway. It was still fun. And I got to go eat Doomie’s with some great ladies!

• Finally got to see 1970s-style Hollywood Boulevard thanks to that Tarantino movie. I was only there for the throwback architecture. Walking home after class, I saw Brad Pitt.

• Took myself to the beach again.

NOVEMBER

• November 1. The day I saw Dear Evan Hansen. I was not ready. It was so good! I cried the entire time. I tried to win the ticket lottery every day. I listen to the soundtrack constantly. I may have to wait, like, 3 years to see it again.

• The next day, I picked up my rental. I deserve a break, so I took one in the form of a road trip along the PCH. I ram some errands in Burbank, then drove through Malibu Canyon to start in Malibu. It was beautiful. How have I never been to Malibu before after 2+ years in LA? The first day, I stopped in San Luis Obispo. Oof! At least the Embassy had a good evening reception. I ordered some Santa Maria steak on Postmates and it was so good! Then, I just relaxed. SLO is not that exciting. 

• Day 2, I drove up to Monterey. It took forever. But it was BEAUTIFUL. Just singing Dear Evan Hansen songs and trying to pay attention to the road. In Monterey, I went to some beach locations, like where John Denver crashed his plane. Then I watched the sun set on the beach. The Embassy there did not have a good evening reception.

• On the last day of my road trip, I drove up to San Jose to go to the Winchester Mansion. It was really neat, but not as exciting as I thought it would be. Still enjoyable. Had an expensive burger, went on a disappointing detour trying to find a Peet’s, then drove in the dark on The 5 back to LA. Wow! There is nothing there.

• The last day with the car, I took Penelope to the vet. Got the works. She’s all good. Didn’t even need a teeth cleaning.

• Station Theater’s Can’t Tell Us Nothing won Matt Besser’s Improv for Humans contest. They did a show at UCB, so reunited with some Houston improv folks. And also someone I worked with at the WPCK thing. Worlds collide!

• Saw a screening of Stan & Ollie at IFC Fest. The acting was great!

• There was a book event for Paul Myers’ book about Kids in the Hall at UCB with Dave and Scott. Scott is a force of nature. I love him so much! Also, Paul Myers is Mike’s brother… or Mike Myers pretending to be a guy named Paul who is also his brother.

• When I was in high school and college, there was a stand up / storytelling show in LA called Uncabaret. If I lived in LA, I would have gone. Now that I do, I went to their 25th anniversary show. It was a room full of people from the 90s, still in the 90s. Not a complaint.

• Late one night, I saw that Katie was subletting the apartment she had just moved out of. A studio in Hollywood in my budget, bills included. By the end of the month, I had the keys to that apartment. I should have gone ahead and put my notice in for December 1, but I got nervous. I ended up paying rent on 2 places.

• Started Improv 4 at The Pack. Rich is great! He has the perfect personality of a person I can get along with.

• Thanksgiving at Fogo de Chao is TOO MUCH MEAT!

• Very Famous got into SF Sketchfest! Finally going to San Francisco!

DECEMBER

• Packing! That pretty much sums it up. I rented a car for the small stuff. Asked for help with the big stuff. We did it! Penelope and I are free!

• Ian asked me to be in his directorial debut at Second City — A Fonzie Scheme. We did rehearsals to generate material. It was fun.

• I saw Come From Away. I mean, after Dear Evan Hansen, I thought I would never be able to love a new musical, but this one got me. It was good.

• I got older. For my actual birthday, we went to a Yoga guru’s Winter Solstice Celebration — even though it wasn’t the solstice yet. We did some intention setting and white people dancing and healing breathing and tarot card pulling and labyrinth walking and fireside singing. Then we got ice cream. The following day, I invited some people to bottomless mimosa brunch. It was a great time! A single mimosa, followed by a carafe of mimosa, then another single mimosa is the perfect amount of mimosa. Then, I bought some corn cookies and a slice of crack pie from milk bar.

• Spent the next few days getting the apartment in order, so I could come back home to not a mess after the holidays. I did a lot, so I’m looking forward to getting home to Penelope.

• Capped off a creative year by submitting my very first late night-style writing packet. A warmup for the NBC Late Night Writers Workshop. Guys, I’ve known it my whole life: I friggin’ love late night!

• And just for good measure, my $400 (I got them on sale for $75) sunglasses broke. I was tempted to get some Ray Bans, but opted for some MUCH cheaper Target ones. RIP Jimmy Choo star sunglasses. They were good to me for like 3 years AT LEAST.

• Went back home for the holidays. Spent a lot of quality time with Mom and Dad. Saw Mark and Jacob. Didn’t get nearly enough writing done. Didn’t finish my book. At least I got to mostly relax. Mom let me win at Scrabble a couple times before winning like 12 times after that.

A LOOK AHEAD

Tonight for New Year’s Eve, Emily, Ian and I are going to see Bob and Naomi’s Not Inappropriate Show at UCB. Then later, we are going to the New Years Eve celebration at Dynasty Typewriter. They got a lot going on over there.

I tried to focus on the high points of this past year. The low points were pretty low. I’ve struggled this year, but have done my best to try and stay positive. I lived and I learned.

The word of the year for 2019 is BUDGET. I am going to set myself up with the tools I need to budget my money, budget my time and budget my food. The main focus will be finding a new job. That has been a big issue since I moved to LA. I’m wearing myself out. 

I need to cut myself some slack this year, but also continue to get shit done and be better at that.

I hope the rest of you have a wonderful year. And, if you made it this far, why are we not best friends and going to Salt & Straw every month or laughing and bitching over bottomless mimosas every other weekend? I need more of that!

BONUS

Annual kitty feet, anyone?