#bc i could expand a lot on it but it‘s kind of a new story already

[selfcarecap]

I just randomly started working on my second (Tom)Peter x reader x (Andrew)Peter fic and I think this is gonna be a long one too dhsks

[stumbling-to-sea]

kids AU

This is all @ohpineapples​ fault, with her roomboom kids! While i got an AU where Lana and Ace meet early while Ace was still alive, even that AU doesn’t end ... happily, but the ”what kids would they have, in the extremely unlikely case that would happen?“ won’t leave me alone now, so i have to get this out of my system:

In the unlikely universe where Lana heads for the Grand Line early and the War of the Best was survived, kids would still be not on the table — Ace refuses to pass on his blood and Lana has no time for kids, going from one mission to the next; the revolution never sleeps and neither does cypher pol

But one day Koala looks at her, frowns, and asks if she‘s gotten a little … uh, chubbier? and after another month of relentless nagging, Lana eventually goes to one of the medics and this is how she finds out she‘s pregnant

Ace is terrified and panicking and fussing, and unfortunately he contaminates everyone including the ghosts hanging around –  they try to carry her everywhere and refuse to leave her side and it‘s all just bloody inconvenient

What are we going to do, Ace whispers, his head on her chest and cradling her belly and thinking of his mother, and what if you—

The brat will have some of the most powerful people of the world as uncles, Lana growls, fed up, and I went six months without knowing ‘bout this, I’ll manage the rest, you are being dramatic.

The last month is miserable and the labour even more so, and Lana tells Ace flatly that she‘s not ever doing this again, fuck you kindly

Her daughter announces herself by splitting everyone’s eardrums

She‘s so ugly, Lana notes, amazed, and Ace nods, not listening and staring at the red wrinkly thing because it‘s the most beautiful thing he‘s ever seen

Lana refuses to name any of her kids after other people, at least with their first names, because they will not be burdened by any ghosts

Ace replies, you‘re just going to call them some ridiculous nickname anyway

Sure enough the portgas-leafless spawn with her muddy green eyes, a shock of wild blonde-ish curls and skin two shades darker than her father‘s, reacts to the call of “Dandelion“, short Lio or Lion, instead of whatever she‘s named

Ace would be extremely protective, like borderline paranoid about Lion‘s safety. Everyone who comes within ten feet of her is double screened and babyproofed, and the worst thing is that he considers himself the biggest danger — not only bc of his heritage, but ohdeargodimfirewhatifiburnher

Lana didn‘t think he could get worse than the time she was pregnant, but she spoke too soon

Whenever late Whitebeards are around they tease mercilessly, and she can‘t get Thatch to leave (free baby-monitoring aside, it‘s not worth the incessant jabbering and jokes about poop)

Seriously, she‘s not ever doing this again

But when Lion is barely two years old, Lana sits up in the middle of the night and just says, shit. I think i‘ve gotten fat again. Ace cries and says, how can one of the chief informants of the revolutionary army be such an idiot in the fondest but also exhasperated way possible

Little Copper‘s hair is black with a reddish tint and less curly than her sister’s, grey-brown eyes taking the world in as if she‘s already disappointed by what it offers her

where Lion will flutter her eyes prettily at people to get what she wants, Copper stares them into oblivion with an underlying threat of or else

Ace is, so good with kids, though. Which is great, because even though Lana loves her girls, people don‘t stop dying and ghosts don‘t stop knocking down her door, and the revolution doesn‘t sleep, and someone has to keep cipher pol off their tail

Copper and Lion spent their first years ship- and island-hopping with their dad (because the revolution isn‘t a place for children and there isn‘t a crew big and calm enough to hide among, with the Whitebeards gone). 

They don‘t blink at logic-defying weather patterns, wacky powers or displays of raw strength, because both of them could punch through concrete when they turned four, their dad‘s literally fire and their mother talks to ghosts and sometimes has dead people inside her, and don‘t get them started on their vast networks of “aunties“ and “uncles“ (both alive and dead)

The two knock on doorways when they enter and greet the air respectfully in case there‘s any spirits lingering, and know every way to put a fire out, and plenty ways to start one

Ace would eventually resign himself to semi-settling on an island under Luffy‘s protection, constantly catered to by one of the crews of his little brother‘s grand fleet

Somehow, on the way, Ace can’t help adopting strays — the small girl with samurai-ambitions and a once-empty stomach is just the start. He ends up the go-to-babysitter of the Grand Line; pirates and Revolutionaries alike drop off their kids with him when things get to hot for children around

He takes the kids on wild adventuring trips where he makes sure he is the scariest thing around, which considering,,, naturally means the trips are only mostly life-threatening

Lana visits as often as she can, and learns how to tell ghost stories to a rapt audience of lots of eager little faces. Everyone knows you can‘t play pranks on Mam Lana, she‘ll know. But she‘s also the safest place, because if there were any danger, she‘d know

Every couple of years, they‘d sit their kids down and tell them they can be anything they want to be. Lana never sugarcoats the problems people might have with their origins and their parents, but if they eventually want to start with a new identity they will make it possible, because choices have always been important to both of them

their kids have the D. but being descended from a Leafless means you don‘t put much stock in names

They didn‘t want their children to carry other‘s legacies, but their grandpa was the Pirate King, their mother and uncle are toppling the world government, their other uncle is going to be Pirate King and — what is cooler than that? Also Grandparents Leafless send the best tasting fruity sweets.

(Lion gets told that she looks like her paternal grandma, and Copper is kind of envious)

Everyone thinks Lion with her cat-eyes hides trouble behind her innocent freckled smile, but she’s really just a sweetheart while it‘s unimpressed Copper you have to watch out for, who takes everything as a personal challenge and chases after the next thrill

(If the revolution is still going when they grow up, Copper might go and join the Marines for the heck of it, Lion is good with boring details so she does the next best thing and goes into investigative journalism; each one‘s of the opinion that they work harder than the other to keep sis out of trouble)

(Copper and Lion has a nice ring to it, but so does Bronze and Lynx)

One lights her Dao on fire in a fight and the other has everyone wrapped around her little finger before she shoves them up their noses

Ace still occasionally gets terrified by the sheer responsibility but he‘s got a big family and somehow, the protection of every notable crew around because they like their babysitter hale and whole

Life is okay and well, as calm as can be, for a stay-at-home-pirate and ghost hunter who the world government would both rather see dead, with two fierce little girls of their own and a bunch of other teens who think monsters are normal, thank you very much

Until like six years after Copper is born and before dawn, Lana sits up in bed, saying, shit, Firefly. and. Ace buries his head beneath his pillow, moaning in despair

(but Page stumbles after his big sisters with black curls, chubby legs and much enthusiasm, and he‘s never alone or without laps to take naps on, and later on he will always have his freckled nose buried in a book)

(Little red-haired Tooth, two years later, will not stop trying to eat anything in reach. Her first instinct will always be to taste, which is quite problematic considering she expands on the knack for engineering she got from her father and metal has no place in your body – she‘ll probably end up eating a devil fruit)

(TL,DR; basically Ace will always want and deserve a big family, and Lana just. goes along with it, and they are one more reason to get involved in world affairs)