#bc i didn't want to ruin the video with my freakout
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#today i had a really bad day for no reason#when yesterday was so good and i was so happy that the happy was vibrating out of me and i couldn't be calm#and i simply don't know what to do#because i can't keep having days like this and also be a functioning student#but i just don't know what is wrong with me#something is definitely wrong with me#sorry to vent in the tags but i just got out of spiraling pretty badly and needed to feel like i was talking to someone#i thought i was just depressed but then so many small stupid things make me completely lose it#and since i can't scream my lungs out and break things i just freeze and cry and hit my head#which doesn't seem healthy either#maybe i just need a place to scream or something?#but today was so bad that i couldn't even watch the video yet#bc i didn't want to ruin the video with my freakout#maybe it would have calmed me down but i didn't want to risk it#i'm kind of exhausted now#but tomorrow i need to think of what to do bc i don't want to do poorly in school for whatever the heck is wrong with me
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