#i thought i was just depressed but then so many small stupid things make me completely lose it

[dan-sing-in-the-rain]

.

[lookingformoondrop]

Hi!! I love your writing and hope you’re doing great. May I request a break up scenario with yandere!Andrew?

Yandere!Andrew Graves x Reader

TW: Dark material, mentions of a unalived person, manipulation, andrew calls reader a dumb bunny, very toxic relationship, Andrew drags reader around by the hair (weeee), captivity/kidnapping if you squint? Angst, very very depressing, it's been a while, so this is probably OOC ;-;

♡ Notes: GUESS WHOSE BACK! yes, I admit I was gone for quite a while, but with the progress reports of chapter 3 coming around, I figure now is my time to rise again. After I wrote all of this, I realized I might have made this a little too dark... My next work will likely be a fluff. Sorry Anon! Thank you so much for supporting, and I hope I can continue writing pieces for y'all~ ♡

Tik

Tok

Tik

Tok

Tik

Tok

The clock on your wall ticked closer to 7 o'clock. Every sound in the room was silenced by the deafening sound of it.

At the time, buying that clock seemed like a cute idea.

It was an old thing, two big clocks held together with beautiful dark wood. And a small circle shaped glass built underneath the two clocks meant for displaying a picture.

It was placed on your fireplace mantel, accompanied by other little trinkets.

You tried not to look at the mantel or the pictures that displayed happy memories, instead opting to glare at the hands ticking closer to your doom.

You didn't deserve to glance at these memories with what you were determined to do.

The room around was in shambles. Blankets and pillows were thrown around, cups and plates stuck to the tables around the couch after hours of neglect, and every picture frame in reach with the smiling face of Andrew Graves was put down.

At any moment, Andrew was going to come through that door and open his arms for you.

You bit your lip, already cringing at the bloody spots forming. You had to leave. There was no other choice.

After what you've seen, there's no possible way you could keep hugging and kissing him...

When you first moved in with Andrew, you found yourself to be the happiest ever.

Every day, you'd roll over to face an already awake and smiling Andy, who would kiss your nose and promise you coffee.

Every evening, you'd have a delicious dinner prepared by Andrew, who would make the atmosphere romantic with candles and rose petals, all leading to a delightful night of fornication...

Yes, at times, there were small cracks in the fantasy you two had made.

You still had to go to work, and you still had projects and deadlines that needed to be met. Not only this, but you still had co-workers you needed to work with.

You had made peace with this and was more than happy to fulfill your office work, but Andrew was not.

Now that you thought about it, many times a day, he would demand for your attention. He would go as far as calling your office and asking to see you. Lunch breaks would extend to lunch hours, and your sick and vacation days were used up in a matter of weeks (back to back).

And then you get home... if you had spent a work day completely ignoring Andrew, going as far as muting him, there'd be no telling what he'd do.

It began with silence, then one word answers, but if you even started getting angry at him for his horrible communication skills, he'd finally lash out.

" Just help me understand. Do you hate me? You're ignoring me all the time so that I can run back to you and beg you to pay attention to me. Why do you even stay with me, then? "

At first, you thought maybe he was just stressed out.

You had such a beautiful relationship, and Andrew was never big on talking about stupid things.

These things could all be avoided if you communicated with him more. If you were just healthy, then nothing would be toxic. You were the shitty one in this relationship, not him.

When you took the blame for all those things, his anger disappeared.

So your life would become peaceful again.

You never considered Andrew to be possessive. He was... overprotective. That's all. He was caring for you. It's not his fault that you're so sensitive,

And now you were giving all that up, and for what? Because every now and then he'll complain about the people in your life?...

because once he'll complain about them, they disappear from your life?

...because you found one of those people in the basement freezer?

The same freezer he made you promise to never go into?

Your eyes blink up at the ceiling, the tears that were dancing on your water line finally spilling over the edge.

Suddenly, the sound of the door cracking open made you quickly wipe at your tears.

"Bunny? I'm here, where are you?" Andrew called out from the hallway.

"...In here, Andrew." You answered, holding your hands in your lap.

"Andrew? What happened to Andy? What, did I do something wrong?" Andrew walked in, having already ditched his shoes and coat.

"Y/N? Hey... What's wrong?" Andrew power walked to you, avoiding the many pillows scattered across the floor.

He leaned down in front of your knees, grabbing your hands.

You gulped, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Andrew, we need to talk about something."

"Yeah...?"

"You... you have to promise not to get mad at me."

Andrew's face darkened, "...sure."

You bit your lip and finally looked up.

But Andrew was no longer looking at you, instead staring at all the picture frames that faced the ground.

You breathed in once. You had put this off for as long as possible.

"Andrew, i didn't call anyone yet, but you need to let me leave. I dont- no- I can't stay here anymore and I -"

"No."

You sputtered but couldn't get a good look at Andrew's expression as he stood up.

"You always get me worried over nothing," Andrew scratched the back of his neck, absently playing with his sweater tag.

You stood up,

"Andrew, this is important! I- I don't feel safe anymore, I don't feel safe with you! You've been keeping so much from me -"

Andrew scoffed at you, cutting your words short.

"You're acting wacky. Are you sure you didn't take anything before I came home?" Andrew finally looked at you with cautious eyes, "Look, Y/N, you're probably tired and need a break from your phone. Give it to me, and I can put this whole thing behind us."

Andrew lent his hand out, half expecting your hand and your phone.

But you shook your head.

"I know, Andrew. I know what you did."

Andrew raised a brow, "What I did...?" His hand was still outstretched.

"Last night I wanted to surprise you with some chicken soup, but I couldn't find the meat in our freezer, so... I went downstairs to the basement instead - "

Your eyes glanced at the clock again, it's happy picture becoming distorted the more you spoke outloud,

Andrew's eyes widened, and his hand dropped, "Y/N, you promised me you wouldn't go down there."

Your breathing became shaky, and your hand grabbed at the hem of your shirt,

"Andrew, you told me that all you had down there was some hunting meat. Y- You lied, not only lied, but you... You fucking killed someone! Oh god, Andrew, why did I find my boss and his DETACHED head in our basement freezer?!"

Andrew avoided your eyes, instead opting to run a hand down his face, sighing deeply into his palm.

When he didn't defend himself, your thoughts ran wilder, and the anger that you had locked away began bubbling to the surface.

This went far beyond control and possessiveness, Andrew murdered someone. Your Andrew, the same man you slept next to for years, murdered someone.

"How many years did I spend with a goddamn murderer? I had thought that- that maybe it was this crazy elaborate plot twist, that maybe you had a good reason to keep A PERSON in a freezer, but maybe I was living with a killer who I should have left a long time ago!-"

"Enough."

You had barely any time to process what he said before he grabbed your hair and began dragging you to the bedroom.

You tried twisting from his grip, dry sobs racking your body.

"Andrew, please stop! I'm - ow!- I'm sorry!"

"No, you're not. Everything I ever did was to protect you. Clearly, you've been thinking about this for awhile."

A dark chuckle rumbled from his chest, "and to think, I would've let you run around a little longer in the big world."

You continued sobbing, trying to grab at his hand. "Andrew, please!"

His hand pushed the door open, but right as he was about to enter, he stopped.

"Bunny", he crotched down to your level, his hand still grabbing your scalp, "do you love me?"

Your body shook involuntarily, your crying turning to hard hiccups. In your mind, all you wanted was to escape. To leave, to be embraced by someone who could protect you from this.

"P- Please Andrew, " you tried shaking your head despite the pressure, "s- stop, you're h-urting me."

Your chest heaved, your heart beating painfully against your chest.

Time moved slowly as Andrew searched your face, but slowly all the light he had in his eyes faded, and was replaced by a darkness that chilled your body.

"You didn't say yes." He clicked his tongue, "but that's okay, its only a matter of time."

Suddenly, he stood up and turned. Dragging you through the living room again, walking towards the basement door.

You screamed as you recognized the direction he was heading. You hit his hand, beating the grip he had on you.

Your eyes were wide and wild, trying to find some sort of escape, and your eyes landed on the clock.

Although you could no longer see the photo, you remembered the day Andrew brought it to you. He has promised to never leave you, and you promised to never leave him.

He asked you if you would love him if he was a monster.

You said, no.

All this time, you thought that Andrew would let you go. You would tell him you knew, he would turn himself in, and he'd let you go. Making all these years a bad nightmare. But the truth was, Andrew had long since known you would've found the body. The thought had crossed his mind, and he planned for the outcome even if he hoped youd be smart enough to never come to that.

When Andrew opened the basement door, he crotched down again and let go of your hair, instead moving you to his arms and holding you.

"Hey, I love you. You know that, right? I will never hurt you. Dont worry, you're going to be staying with me for a long time."

Andrew kissed your forehead, and began heading down the stairs.

Your eyes watched the door and the light that came from it as Andrew lead you further down the stairs.

Further away from the light, further away from freedom.

You cried into Andrew's shoulder, who patted your hair, until you could no longer see the light.

"You're never leaving me, my dumb little bunny."

Thank you for the ask! <3

[talkbycolor]

I deserve this

A/N; at this point its obvious that i inspire in rebzyyx songs

Pairing; "Your Boyfriend" x AFAB!Reader (cus people are scared of the word trans)

CW; reader becomes willing at the end i swear / unhealthy, obsessive and possesive love / sensitive topics such as mental health, depression, anxiety, fear of abandonment, dissociation, suicidal thoughts / a crazy concept: he talks about his emotions!! / non-con, violence, like, i cry while i masturbate

It's quite blurry trying to remember how it all started, it seemed harmless to accept a date from a stranger, he gave you a beautiful rose and was quite kind to you.

Feeling that people could like you, that someone could be romantically interested in you, because of who you are, your personality, that they knew your… desires?

Because you had dreams, of course.

…

Your dream was to live, to live a quiet life, a stable, pleasant job, with good pay, a normal and peaceful life, where the deep emptiness in your heart was non-existent, years had passed and the monotonous feeling did not disappear, you had already accepted the pain, after all, if you felt that constantly it was probably because you did something wrong at some point, right?

But that was a personal dream that would never be shared.

And it's not like that matters now, not when you're in… A room, that's funny, your last memory is of Peter slamming you against the table to tie your limbs since their last date didn't end as expected and It was time to go home.

Return to an empty home, for what? Peter was more than willing to take care of you, why was he so scary? Accepting it would have made things easier, but you ruined everything by trying to run away, you even fought tooth and nail, that was too pathetic now that you remember it, maybe you DO deserve all the shit that is happening.

You could have saved yourself so much terror and attacks.

"PETER ENOUGH! PLEASE! LET ME GO! NO! NO! FUCK, PLEASE!" You tore out your throat with terrified screams and tried to claw at his skin until your fingers were bloody, biting the hands that tried to stop your screams, hitting his face with your elbows and kicking him away, crawling like a dying animal away from him. "PETER!" You sobbed sharply before losing consciousness.

But nothing worked, resisting only made all that shit worse and now you were tied up, in Your boyfriend's old clothes.

You barely remember how you got to that place, or if time passed, anyway that doesn't matter anymore, from one day to the next you find a very small piece of clothing that turned out to be yours, time passed, your body grew but your mind didn't, they keep lying but you know that your life will depend on how well you do it.

And you're not doing it right, you tried to adopt toxic happiness but you couldn't even maintain it for a while before exploding, sadness was already an everyday thing and you just weren't feeling it anymore.

"Dear?"

Just peace please, how hard could that be? It was annoying, you even felt angry for feeling so empty, because people were so rude and the constant rejection killed you socially.

It was hard to breathe, wasn't it?

"Love? Do you hear me?"

It feels like the end, your soul is bleeding, you wish your stupid job made you feel a little more alive and motivated to continue.

And now you have done so many things to escape from that monster that pulls you back to the room to devour you under the bed.

"Darling!" Your boyfriend's voice echoed through the room, making you look at him once and for all, your eyes tired despite having been unconscious most of the time.

"…" You wanted to respond, really, but what were you supposed to say?

"You must be exhausted, you didn't even touch dinner" It was a tricky phrase, he had tried to feed you since you were tied up.

"Peter-…"

"I already told you that I prefer to be called other way, honey" He responded with a smile and a definitely not irritated tone.

"I want to sleep" He left your lips, he was being so caring, taking care of your health.

He kidnapped you.

And you couldn't even thank him for it.

He knocked you out.

You really were an ungrateful shit, weren't you?

He locked you up.

You wanted to return the signs of affection.

Soon the ropes left your body, Peter helped you stand up and you both walked to the bedroom, he was still carrying a small plate with a light dinner, he refused to let you go to bed without having eaten dinner.

Once in bed, he made sure that you had a proper dinner, and he helped you change your clothes so that you would be comfortable in bed, he also did the same with his attire and now you were both lying down. It always made your stomach churn when he looked at your half-naked body.

"Dear" He murmured next to you while you tried to sleep as soon as possible, so many things had happened those last few days that the only way out was to sleep, you had probably already been fired from your job for not showing up. "Honey, love, darling," he said sweetly as his hand went up to your cheek, he simply looked at you with a huge and probably painful smile on his face, almost tattooed, you made him so happy with your mere presence.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, your mind still cloudy enough to refuse anything, so you just went up to kiss him, the room was very dark and there weren't even crickets echoing at night, the amount of silence was overwhelming… of course, that didn't count the lip-smacking they shared.

So it continued.

For a long time.

"Pet-…uhm, I mean, honey, I'm tired and I want to sleep" You interrupted the honey session.

"Please, you don't have to do anything, just let me love you, darling" his voice was soft, soothing to that darkness but not to the painful weight in your heart and the knot in your stomach, his touches felt strange.

You know that's wrong, you don't like it.

You didn't stop him, just like he said, you let him love you as you closed your eyes and a buzzing sound echoed in your head, like television static, your bottom clothes had disappeared, but that didn't matter.

You couldn't hear anything, you didn't see anything, your body reacted but your mind was very far from that place, you wandered through your memories, fantasies of a life you were never going to have.

It was really digging into your cunt, huh? Even when your mind wanted to flee somewhere else, it was undeniable how he held your thighs and you gasped heavily with each thrust.

His member was still dripping his seed, did he use protection? You don't know, you don't care.

It doesn't matter.

B e cau se s oon y o u w il l b e d ea d.

"Honey? Didn't you enjoy it?" Peter asked with a worried frown.

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you no longer have respect for yourself? You know it's going to hurt you.

Don't you mind dying? You lost hope and you don't even try to help yourself anymore, damned and pathetic attempt at being human, really unnecessary.

"Honey…" Peter caressed your cheeks and brought his forehead to yours, sighing softly and carrying your body to the bathroom in the room.

You didn't say anything either, you just felt how it was cleaning your body, the water was warm, the bathtub full of bubbles, and it smelled pretty good, like coconut soap. Peter hummed quietly as he treated your body with the utmost affection, you were sure he was whispering things in your ear but you were barely aware of your surroundings.

When your eyes finally focused on something you could see the ceiling of the room thanks to the moonlight, Peter was behind you, hugging your body, caressing your hair, and sniffing the soapy fragrance.

"You are so sweet, so unique, so kind, so special to me, a truly exceptional person, I will do everything to make you feel comfortable, darling, I love you so much, my adorable-…"

"Peter"

"… Yes love?" This time he didn't argue about that name, you were finally talking and that was good.

"I'm sorry I feel so alone, I know you're here but…" You wish you could give him an answer but that was something even you hadn't figured out yet.

"It's okay, honey, I'll be with you to hold you, forever."

♡

[valley-of-headcanons]

Could you write some headcanons for Sebastian comforting his spouse who has anxiety and depression stemming from a less-than-stellar upbringing? I tend to need assurance people aren't mad at me and I avoid conflict cuz it tends to make me cry. Got to wondering how he'd handle all that lol.

rest your head, love || sebastian x farmer oneshot

after getting into an argument with haley, anxiety courses through your veins. but, sebastian is always here to help you through it <3

warnings: reader fights with haley (sorry haley lovers 🙏), hints towards abusive parenting but nothing outright described. nothing too dark, simply a comfort fic :)

requested by: anon! hi, i'm so sorry this took so long to come out! another one requested before my unannounced hiatus 💀 anyway! i love this request, this is probably one of my favorite things to write about, i love comfort fics 🙏 thank you so so so much for the request! also changing this into a fic because i believe the format would be easier :)

Stepping through the doors of your home, the expression on your face showed that you're absolutely defeated. Your demeanor was clouded by anxiety, and Sebastian could tell. As he rose from his computer and walked closer to you, he wore a worried expression. “Love, are you doing okay ...?”

You softly shook your head, sitting down on the bed and staring off into space. “I-I ... I got into an argument- ... with Haley. And ... I just feel like I ca- can't really breathe, y'know ...?” you stuttered out, putting your shaking palms against your face.

Sebastian sat down beside you and rested a hand on your back, rubbing circles with his thumb. “You can't take anything Haley says seriously, she's just insecure. She's just a bitch,” he mumbled to you, although it didn't seem to help. He knew that this was deeper than Haley, it was something much deeper.

Kissing your temple, Sebastian softly took your hands in his. “Hey, I want you to listen to my voice. Exit your mind, it's too dark of a place to be in right now. Would you like to sit in my lap?” he asked in the softest voice he could, offering his comfort.

As you crawled into his lap and wrapped your legs around his waist, you felt his arms caress your back. Tears started flowing from your eyes and you buried yourself in the crook of his neck. “I-I just hate arguing, and she said- she said so many things that I-I've heard too many times before and- I thought that I got away from it all! I'm just so- ... I'm upset and I can't help it ...”

Sebastian removed his hands from your back and cupped your face, wiping the gentle tears from your cheeks. “It's okay. You are away from it, I promise. Nothing's gonna hurt you here, not even Haley. You're none of the things Haley said, not a single one of them, do you hear me?”

You gave a silent nod, leaning into his hand. “... not even when she said I was annoying? Or boring? Or- ... anything?” you said, attempting to take deep breaths between your shuddered exhales.

“Yes, dear. You're none of those things. You're not annoying, why else would I even be here? You're not boring, you actually interest me more than any of the people in the town. You actually have a personality, you don't seem as 2D as everyone else ... you're everything to me, so please don't think stupid things like that. The people who say stupid things like that just don't get it. Now relax, let me take your mind off of it for a little while,” Sebastian said in a stern yet comforting tone. He held you tight to his chest, rubbing your back while he rocked softly.

He knew all about your past. He knew the horrendous things that you've witnessed, you've heard, you've felt. He was hellbent on mending that part of you, even if it meant a small bit at a time. He'd stay up all night with you if you needed, but you had fallen asleep in his lap soon after you felt safe enough to. He laid back on the bed, pulling you close and wrapping the cover around you both. He could finish his work tomorrow, nothing could beat these soft moments with you.

Pressing another soft kiss to your temple, he whispered to you. “Goodnight love, rest your pretty head,” he muttered, before closing his own eyes. He slept soundly next to you, holding you close the entire night. Nothing could beat this.

[s9sa]

Ahahahah can i request Bottom!Dick Grayson x Top!Male!Reader??🥺🥺🥺 Like Dick gets jealous when some people constantly flirst with the reader, so to assert dominance Dick gets on reader's dick and just overstimulaion, cowgirl position, mirror sex (where reader says im gonna only do this with you, so you better look carefully), and just sweet fluff?👼

All Mine.

☆.   ﹟SUMMARY – A jealous Dick meant raw sex. He was tired of everyone claiming you as theirs, which led to him giving up and simply plopping down on your cock to reclaim dominance.

☆.   ﹟PAIRING – Bottom!Dick Grayson x Top!Male Reader

☆.   ﹟WARNINGS – cowgirl position, overstimulation (?), mirror sex, possessive (dick being jealous & wanting reader to himself), oral (r receiving), dick being a whore & proud, cum eating, multiple orgasms, all fluffy at the end

☆.   ﹟WORD COUNT – 3.5K

☆.   ﹟NOTE – Writing this was so fun! I went a little overboard and adjusted a few things, but hopefully this meets your expectations. I apologize for the delay in uploading this, but I just wanted to perfect a few things and add some more details. I rewrote this about 3-4 times before combining a few ideas from the billions of rewrites into one big smutty but fluffy fic. I finished this late at night, so there may be *some* errors & a little rushed.

He hated how everyone would practically drool over you, always complimenting you for the bare minimum and making corny jokes just to get an awkward laugh out of you. It was frustrating to see so many people cling to you as if you weren’t in a happy relationship with him. It irritated him to no end. You were all his. And he wished people would get the message. What made them think you would accept after the second try if you had already previously rejected them? It drove him insane. He was tired of the constant flirting. Listening to their attempts at flirting and spilling their glasses on your shirt just to get a glimpse of what you were hiding beneath there sickened him. It’s all cliche.

And, in his opinion, poorly executed. At least TRY to use a few unique pickup lines.

“Dick, baby, you okay? You’ve been kinda staring off into space and it’s lowkey frightening.” Dick looks exasperated as you interrupt his thought bubble, and you can see the frustration in his eyes. "I just find it hard to focus when there are so many people around," he says, before pausing to take in the looks of the journalists gathered around you. "Especially when they’re staring at you like that."

“We can leave.”

Dick puts his head in your lap, pouting and holding his face up with his palms. You shift your attention away from your phone and toward Dick, who was a pouty mess, and give him a gentle smile while patting his head. “I don’t want your head pat,” You let out a small chuckle as he sarcastically mutters, ruffling his hair, enjoying the softness of his curls. You fluff them up a little more, retracting your hand and returning your gaze to your phone. “Hey. Notice me.” Dick pokes your cheek again, trying to get your attention so he can complain about the flirting situation. You tilt your head and look down at him. “Yes?” You speak up, confused but attentive. “We’re boyfriends, right?” Dick asks you.

“Yes. Do you not–” Dick quickly waves you off, scrambling to explain what he meant by his question and sitting up straight to look you in the eyes. “No! I mean, if we’re boyfriends, why do people act like we aren’t? What about the constant flirting? It’s frustrating!" He makes a noise, burrowing his head into the pillow, before sitting up again and watching you think deeply about how to phrase your thoughts without sounding stupid. “Honestly. It is annoying. People are just desperate and it’s kinda depressing.” Dick sighs deeply before resting his head on your shoulder, his arm wrapped around yours, gently comforting him.

The motion of stroking Dick’s knuckles with your thumb feels soothing, as you sense how soft but thick his skin is. He looks at the interaction again, deep in thought, before concluding to assert dominance. Why didn’t he just...fuck you if he wanted everyone to stop? That was something he could slap in the face of everyone. He was capable of having sex with you while they dreamed about it. A smile grew wider and wider as his confidence grew. He carefully pulls his arm away from yours, plunging into your lap. After squirming into a comfortable position, he presses his weight against your bulge and grinds slight pressure against it. You were his and yours alone, and he was determined to make everyone know it.

Although you were determined to take things slow, he made you horny beyond belief. You were aching for more from his sensual movements and the way he teased your body, but you didn’t want to surrender just yet. It was that pleasure he was giving you that made you want to savor every moment of it. The situation had escalated so fast, but neither of you wanted to complain. Dick was finding pleasure in edging you before opening his mouth to speak out about his thoughts. He looks at you with pleading eyes as he says, "I don’t want to share you." His breath hitching, he can feel your hard cock pressing against him, sending a tingly feeling down his body and making him shiver with anticipation. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer as he begs for your touch.

You reassure him that you are completely dedicated to him and that you will always be there for him. You kiss him passionately, feeling his hot tongue wrap around yours. He moans against you, deepening the kiss to let you know just how desperately he needs you. He whines when your tongue slides over his again, withdrawing to stare at his pouty lips and press your thumb against his bottom lip. You can’t help but smile as he eagerly opens his mouth to let you in, sucking your thumb into his mouth. He licks his tongue over the back of your finger, his eyes widening and drawing you in with their intense, sensual gaze. You can feel your heart racing as he takes more of your finger into his mouth, licking it until you can no longer resist. His lips are soft and warm, and you can feel yourself getting lost in his gaze and the feel of his mouth on your finger.

Dick was gorgeous, and it turned you on to see him sucking your thumb so eagerly. The room was getting steamy, and both of you were getting impatient to just tear each other’s clothes off and have wild sex. There was no denying the desire between you two, and finally, Dick pulled away from your thumb long enough to start stripping off both of your clothes. He wanted you right now and didn’t care if things were moving faster than usual. He needed to take action now, and show you how much he wanted you. He got into position, Dick eagerly wrapping his lips around your cock, sucking vigorously as pre-cum dripped from the head. You moaned, the pleasure was palpable as he teased your tip with his tongue before taking it all in. His mouth was warm and wet, and you couldn’t help but thrust your hips upward, seeking more.

Dick worked your cock expertly, his head bobbing up and down as he took you deeper and deeper. He teased your frenulum with his tongue, sending shivers down your spine. He didn’t stop until you were moaning and panting, the pleasure too much to handle. You eagerly took advantage of the warm, wet mouth that was engulfing your throbbing cock, eagerly moaning and gasping as the warm, wet lips moved up and down your shaft. His head bobbed up and down, taking more and more of you into his mouth until he was deep inside, his tongue swirling around the tip. You moaned louder as you felt the wet lips enclose the head of his cock. You gasped when you felt the soft, wet tongue swirl around the tip, teasing you before taking you deeper into the mouth. You felt yourself start to twitch, pleasure increasing with each movement.

You couldn’t take it anymore and started to move your hips, thrusting your cock deeper into the warm mouth. Dick whimpers as your hand grip his hair, forcing his head back so you can plunge deeper into his throat. He tried to take it all, but your fat cock was too much for him to handle. You ravage him mercilessly, taking what you want. As you reach your climax, you let out a deep guttural moan and dump your hot load down his throat. Dick can do nothing but gulp it down, whimpering in submission. Dick is pulled into your lap with one passionate kiss and impaled on your rock-hard cock. A moan escapes his lips as he settles down onto your throbbing member, the sensation of being stretched to the limit quickly turning into one of sheer ecstasy. Dick can do nothing but cling to you and moan in pleasure. He rocks his hips eagerly against yours, his hands clutching at your chest as he bounces faster and harder. His lower lip is caught between his teeth as he moans with pleasure, each movement sending shivers through your body. You can feel yourself getting harder, and he tightens around you, milking every last drop of pleasure from your throbbing cock.

“Fuck.” Dick moaned as your fat cock filled him up, your hips thrusting upwards to give him the deepest penetration possible. His moans only turned into whines and pleas when you started tugging at him slowly, milking him for all he was worth. With the feeling of your cock and your hand around his own, Dick couldn’t help but whine like a little bitch, muttering out incoherent words. “Do you still have that confidence from earlier?” You ask with a smirk, feeling Dick rock against you pathetically. “Doesn’t seem like it,” you muse, before moving his hips to meet your thrusts. He can only move his hips subconsciously, bouncing into your lap and listening to the harsh slaps of skin on skin. Your hand remains tightly wrapped around his cock, overstimulating him as you move your hand up and down at a pace that makes his stomach churn.

Dick moans loudly, his head lolling back as he rocks his hips in time with your movements. He’s close, so close, but you’re refusing to let him cum. You tease him, refusing to let him cum until he’s begging for it. With each stroke, Dick’s cock gets harder and redder until he’s whimpering and panting with need. “You can do it,” you tell him, lending him a light grin. With one final stroke, Dick cries out and cums, his body jerking and his cock pulsing. You take control of the situation, fucking deeper into him with a satisfied moan. Dick whines incessantly, his back brushing against the soft sheets of your bed, staring up at the ceiling while moaning your name. He couldn’t process anything but that fuzzy feeling all over his body as you repeatedly drilled into his hole.

“Fuck me..” He gasps and moans as you push yourself deep inside him, your bodies trembling with pleasure as you become one. His tight hole milks you as you go deeper, the slick heat sending shivers up your spine. You pump harder and faster, unable to resist the urge to cum as he screams out in ecstasy. As his warm insides bring you closer to orgasm, you can’t help but moan in pleasure. You didn’t expect to cum so quickly, but now that you’re on the brink of orgasm, you can’t help but go all the way. Filling him up to the brim with your cum is exactly what you both wanted. Dick moans as you continue to pound his hole. He bites his lower lip once more, muffling his moans as you lean down to leave hickeys on his neck. He wraps his arms around your back, moaning into your ear as you fuck closer and closer, eventually cumming deep within him.

Dick feels himself go weak at the knees as he experiences the pinnacle of pleasure, his body shaking and his breathing ragged as you cum hard. You continue to fuck him until both of you are completely satisfied, his hole throbbing and his hole covered in your cum. He shakes, watching how your cum spouts out of his abused hole while you exit his body. You take a breathless look around before finally finding what you were looking for. Dick rests there, clinging to the sheets as your cum ceaselessly pours out of him like a waterfall.

“What…what are you looking at?” Dick exhales and sits up, trying to figure out what had you so distracted. You, on the other hand, completely ignored him while attempting to perfectly angle the stand-up mirror. “Come here,” You finally say, Dick hesitantly but shakily approaching where you were. He stands there awkwardly, taking a quick glance at himself before you position him with his back arched, hands against the mirror, and ass protruding. You stand behind him, your hands on his hips. “I know you and I are both fed up with the constant flirting... So, how about I remind you who I care about the most? And you better look closely because I’m only going to do this with you, Grayson.” You stroke yourself, one hand gently rubbing circles into his hips while getting hard. Dick tries hard not to smile, his happiness far too big to contain. At the end of the day, he knew you were his, and the fact that you confirmed it with mirror sex made it even better.

Dick’s breath hitches as you steadily ease yourself into his welcoming hole that practically begged for you. He lets out a hoarse moan, his fingers attempting to grasp the glass of the mirror, his teeth gritting as you slowly sink deeper into him, sucking on his earlobe while cursing under your breath. You found yourself tightening your grip on his hips, tight enough to leave a red mark, while retracting your head as a saliva string follows suit, breaking when you start kissing his shoulder blade. Dick can only respond to every move you make. Once you’re both at ease, you begin with slow thrusts, pushing his head down until it touches the mirror, Dick’s arm raised high and mighty as you gradually gain speed. Dick squirms and moans as you get him rounded up, lightly smacking his ass and sending shivers down his spine. He balls up his fists as you press against him harder, your smacks getting deadlier with each powerful thrust against the ripples of his ass.

The sensations are electric as you spank him harder, Dick’s skin on fire under your palm. He whimpers loudly now, moaning in ecstasy as you quicken the pace even more, one hand tangling in his hair and pulling gently while the other rubs circles on the nape of his neck. You slam into him hard now, both of you desperate and Dick whines, feeling your hips sloppily press against him in a rhythmic series of thrusts that transports him to his own peaceful version of heaven, the burning sensation from his ass spreading throughout his body and returning to reality when you give him a powerful thrust, a cry of your name leaving his pretty lips. The feeling of your body slamming into his sends a shiver down his spine and a moan slipping past his lips. His brain can barely process anything else as you fuck him hard, his knees going weak at the sheer force you’re using. You suck on his neck, your tongue licking over the hickeys you left there as you pound into him. He can barely take it, his body trembling and his bottom lip trembling as you take him to new heights.

At first, you were gentle with him, taking your time as you fucked him slow and deep. But now, there was no turning back – you were going to fuck him hard and make him cum harder than he ever had before. His torso was pressed against the mirror, head slightly tilted back in ecstasy as you pounded into him over and over. His cock felt amazing wrapped around your hand, stroking it as you fucked him. He was moaning loudly now, begging for more and more as you gave it to him. “You look so pretty, y’know?” Your voice was hoarse and dripping with arousal as you whispered in his ear. All he could do was whine and beg for you to give him what he wanted. He knew he looked like a slut, but he didn’t care. He was too horny to care about anything else. You continue to tug on his head, making his hair messy and his stomach flutter with butterflies. He moans and rolls his head back, surrendering to your touch.

He opens his mouth, and you can see the desire in his eyes. Your lips touch, and an electric-like touch spreads through both of you as your tongues wrap around each other. You kiss sloppily, but it feels amazing. You feel intoxicated by the touch of each other, and you can’t help but want more. He clasps your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs gently, before diving back in for another heated kiss. You can feel the sparks igniting between your bodies, setting them ablaze with desire. With each movement you made on him, Dick felt his orgasm building up faster and faster. He couldn’t help but moan in pleasure as your intoxicating kisses, heavenly thrusts, and teasing strokes sent him over the edge. With a loud cry, he came hard and fast, his body shaking with the force of his orgasm.

You still fucked him into the mess you created, making him whine as he couldn’t handle it. Dick quivered and tried to withstand on his own two feet but he could barely do it. He struggled to stay on his feet, his knees wobbling beneath him. Every muscle in his thighs burned, but he willed himself to keep going. You let go, spilling yourself deep inside of him as Dick rode you through your climax. It was earth-shattering, and the most intense orgasm you’d ever experienced. You clung to him tightly as you rode it out together, your bodies intertwined.

“God, you’re amazing,” You exhaled and collapsed back into the bed, pulling him with you. You both lay there for a few moments, catching your breath. Then, you both started to smile uncontrollably. “I don’t anybody else but you.” You gaze into his eyes, gently caressing his face while applying gentle kisses to his chaste lips. He gives a weak smile, silently laughing before hiding his face in the crook of your neck, closing his eyes to rest. You hold him to you, not wanting to let go.

He relaxes into you, his body slowly giving in to the fatigue that has been slowly creeping up on him. After a few minutes, he finally succumbs to sleep, his breathing even and calm. You hold him close, not wanting to let him go.

He was relieved to know that you were truly dedicated to him.

[luvv4j4ybe11]

With time

✧𝐓𝐰𝐢n 𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐥𝐨’𝐚𝐤

✧Tw!!: mentions of death,sibling loss, lo’ak dies instead of neteyam, lots of crying, first time celebrating birthday without your twin brother, mentions of su!c!de, underaged dr!nking, mentions of alcohol,mostly angst with some fluff towards the end (if you squint),feelings of grief and depression and I think that’s all, enjoy this lil Drabble<33

✧Dividers by @benkeibear

✧ translation(s): Skxawng-moron,idiot , kuru-queue, hammerbrow fish- the goldfish that kiri was playing with in that one scene (idk how else to describe it😭)

(Listen to this to make it extra sad🥰)

You woke up feeling the weight on your chest being even heavier than usual. Your face still wet with tears from last nights realization. That realization being that today was your birthday but not just yours, it was his too. Ever since the night he died, you haven’t left your side of the marui since.

Even though it’s been four months since your twin brother died, that day just keeps replaying in your head, the sound of your mother screaming, the look of absolute devastation on your older brothers face, the blood on your hands, the sound of tsireya crying, lo’aks cold expression, the way your father looked at you with complete disappointment and spat out a cold, “you’ve done enough”

Every time you thought about it you felt sick.

And naturally, being Navi twins you guys were connected more than normal siblings were, you felt each other’s heartbeats, felt when the other was happy or sad, uncomfortable or frustrated. So when you felt cold and utterly alone, you knew he was gone.

But yet there’s still times you hear his heartbeat, you feel how lonely he is and how much sorrow he’s filed with. And it makes you weak with sadness every time.

Being pulled out of your thoughts by a small pair of hands on your bicep shaking you back and forth, you turn around to see your baby sister staring back at you with a smile on her face, her eyes still washed with sadness. Yes, she was young, but she certainly wasn’t stupid. She knew how to read the room better than kids your age did.

“Sis, come on, get up! It’s your birthday!” She says while climbing onto you to give you a hug, which was something she did every year, but this one was more gentle and genuine than the others. You break the hug to place a hand on her head, lightly ruffling her braids,“Maybe later tuktuk, I’m still a little tired.” You say,weakly trying to hide the pain in your features with a fake smile.

She frowns at this, making you let out a soft chuckle as you go to push her off of you. Making her cling onto you more. “That’s what you always say!, please sis, can you get up? For me? For lo’ak?” She says while looking at you with puppy dog eyes. The slight mention of his name brings tears to your eyes, not ready to start this day without him.

“Sister, leave her be, alright? How about you go see what kiri is up to?” Neteyam says as he lifts the curtain to get into your side of the hut, holding it open for tuk to run out eagerly to find her sister.

Closing it, he glances at you before siting on your sleeping mat, “Sister, I’m-” “Teyam don’t. I can’t go through today with this fake sympathetic bullshit!, you guys were constantly on both of our asses for everything! You guys never cared about how we felt! How he felt! You know how many times he came to me telling me how dad made him feel like shit? Or how kiri was pushing him about certain things? Or how he caught dad talking to you about how he’s, “too reckless” and he “wouldn’t be surprised if he got himself killed”?”

His ears pin back to his skull immediately, knowing the exact conversation you were referring to. “Sister, you think that didn’t bother me too? I told him that lo’ak only acted like that because he wanted to be like him. But of course he didn’t listen. And do you think I wasn’t aware of how you guys felt? Why do you think I’d always have both of your guys backs whenever you got into trouble? Why do you think I came up with lies left and right to mom and dad so you two wouldn’t get your asses beat? I wanted to avoid making you guys feel like that, but I only have so much control y/n..” he says as he squeezes his his fists in anger, his feelings from that night bubbling to the surface again.

You move from your comfortable position to sit next to him, bringing him into a much needed hug. “Brother, I know you did. I know you try every single day. And I look up to you because of that. You’re stronger than I am. You keep pushing forward even though there’s so much shit happening to you, I don’t understand how you do it.” You say as you feel tears flowing from your face, the hug reminding you of how lo’ak used to hug you whenever you were in a mood.

“I do it because of you guys. Because of him. You guys are the reason I keep pushing. And especially the both of your skxawng asses” he says with a soft chuckle before breaking the hug, placing his hand on your head softly, something he did with you and lo’ak that became a comfort thing for the both of you. “You can do this today sister, I believe in you, we all do.” His tone making tears automatically spill over your eyes, and causing you to notice his tear filled eyes.

Looking for some sort of grounding you place your hand over his and squeeze, taking multiple deep breaths before speaking. “Teyam.. I can’t, I miss him so much. Everytime I wake up I feel so alone and cold, but I can still hear his breath, and his heartbeat. My pain is not only mine, but his too.” You say in between sobs, watching neteyams breathing get more shallow as he tries to hold in his tears. His features covered in concern.

“Oh baby sis..” bringing you into another much needed hug. He places a light kiss on your forehead before rubbing your back and gently swaying you from side to side,trying to calm down your cries.

Kiri walks in quietly, the feeling of your pain drawing her to your room. Her whole body goes slack and cold when she sees your state, making her glance at Neteyam. That feeling intensifying even more once she saw the pain in his eyes. She takes her place behind you, quickly inserting herself into the hug. Wrapping her right arm around your waist and the other overlapping with neteyams so she can hold him too,her chin resting on your shoulder.

“You feel him don’t you? His heartbeat? His sorrow? His breath? Like he’s just a word about to be spoken?” Without lifting your head you nod quickly, too mentally exhausted speak anymore. “I know how you feel sister. Take that feeling as a way of him telling you to keep going. Keep breathing for him, keep your heart beating for him. That sorrow will be gone once he sees that you’re living for him.”

Her words make you sob even more. Knowing she’s right, he’s always hated seeing you cry, and he did anything to fix it. Purposely making himself look like a dumbass, making you go on an ikran ride with him, asking you to go exploring with him, taking you to you guys secret spot, pinky promises. He did anything for you. And so did you.

A wave of calm suddenly hits you, making your sobs come to a complete stop, and your breathing becomes more level. Feeling the change, your siblings give each other a confused glance before looking down at you. “Sister?..” they both say in sync as you break the hug and get up, your features going completely cold. “I’m going to visit him..if that’s ok with you guys” you say while lifting up a blanket, revealing a stash of alcohol you’ve been keeping ever since his funeral.

Quickly you take a bottle and cover it back up, grabbing your hunting knife and putting on both you and lo’aks matching bracelets you made on your 10th birthday. Walking towards the curtain to leave, you’re pulled back by a gentle pull on your shoulder.

“Y/n..don’t don’t drink today. It’s not gonna stop you from hurting, and you know that.” Kiri says while gliding her hand down to your hand that was holding the alcohol firmly. “Yeah, I know that kiri, but it dulls it somewhat. And it stops me from wanting to throw myself off of a cliff so I think it’s worth it. Plus it’s my birthday! I’m allowed to drink as much as I want today!!” You say in a fake enthusiastic tone, your sarcasm reminding them so much of lo’ak.

“Y/n.” Neteyam says in a soft but stern tone, the one that told you that whatever he was about to say was gonna be serious. “Don’t drink. I know you’ve been hurting more than we have but we need you here. Lo’ak needs you here. You know how much he hates seeing you hurt.” He says as his voice starts to crack slightly, remembering all the things the three of them would come up with whenever you were anything but happy and content.

Feeling the tears well in your eyes again, you squeeze the bottle tighter, fighting the instinct to drown your feelings in the burning liquid.

Glancing over at them, your heart breaks seeing the genuine hurt on their faces because of the realization you’ve been drinking this whole time and they didn’t know. Sighing angrily,you shove the bottle into neteyams chest. “Fine, but when I get back just save me a bottle, because I know it’ll be gone by the time I come back.” You say while turning out of your room swiftly, leaving kiri and neteyam there speechless.

Once you get to the spirt tree, you thank payakan and tell him that you’ll see him soon. Ever since lo’aks passing you’ve only really left your marui to go see payakan, knowing he carries the same weight as you do.

While swimming towards the tree, you mentally prepare yourself for this painful experience. You’ve been avoiding coming to the tree in the first place, because you knew how much it take out of you. And he knew the same.

Connecting your kuru to the tree, you’re brought to you and lo’aks secret spot back at your actual home. The only place that brought you two comfort. Tentatively, you walk through the clearing, lo’ak still not in sight.

“Lo?, where are you?” You call out, the sound of your own voice making you realize you weren’t 15, but you were younger. Walking towards a curtain of flora that led to a small river, you catch a glimpse of your brother, making you walk quicker.

Once you get there you see lo’ak sitting at the edge of river with his feet languidly swaying in the water, just staring into the water. Almost like he was waiting for something, or someone. You don’t say anything at first, just taking in the sight of him after not seeing him for months.

“Brother..” you say softly, not wanting to disturb his peace. His head whips in the direction of your voice, his expression lighting up as he gets up and walks towards you. “Sister!!, I thought you’d never show!” He says as he takes you into a hug, the sound of his voice making you giggle since he was also his younger self.

“Of course I did, it just took me a little time. You know I’d always come to see your skxawng ass” you say as you break the hug to shove his face with your pointer and middle finger. He giggles at that, his smile making the weight on your chest get lighter.

Grabbing your hand, he guides you to where he was sitting. Taking your seat beside him, you gaze out into the water with him.Nervously playing with your extra finger, you take a breath before talking about what you were avoiding for so long.

“Brother I’m-” you exhale slowly before continuing, noticing out of the corner of your eye how all lo’aks attention was turned to you. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be here. It should’ve been me that got shot that night. I was the one that put the idea into your head to go save spider. I should’ve just told you and teyam to go so I could’ve got spider by myself-” “Sister,” he cuts you off, your rambling making the pain in his heart worse. “It’s not your fault. You need to stop hurting yourself like this. It’s not fair to you. You need to focus on now. Not ‘what if’. And plus, It’s not like I would’ve listened to you if you told me to go anyway, there’s no way in hell I’d let that happen.”

Both of you giggle at the last part, knowing that he’s not lying. Once your laughs die down, you look down at your hands, that feeling of guilt still lingering in your chest. Glancing over at you, he notices how you’re playing with your pinkies, a telltale sign that told him something was bothering you.“Sister, what else is it?” He says as he leans back onto his hands, noticing how your shoulders slightly go stiff from his question.

Turning your body to face him, you don’t fail to notice the genuine look of concern in his eyes. “You know what day it is today?” You ask, making his expression completely drop. “Yeah, I know.” The words feeling like a weight on his tongue. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do today without you lo’. I can’t. It hurts too much.” You say as the tears finally spill over your face, the grief crawling back up your throat once again. “No, y/n, you can and you will. For me. Just because I’m here doesn’t mean you can’t live out there. Live for me, y/n. Stop letting yourself be consumed by grief and guilt. I hate seeing you like this and you know that.” He says sternly, making sure you know he’s being serious.

All you do is nod your head, not trusting your voice with the lump in your throat and the never ending tears that keep falling from your eyes. The sight of your hurting form makes lo’aks heart twist in pain. And the fact he couldn’t really do much hurt even more. “Come here, sis,” Placing his hand on your shoulder he pulls you towards him. Giving you a much needed hug, immediately making you sob into the crook of his neck.

“I miss you, twin” he says while resting his chin on your shoulder, letting the tears fall freely from his eyes. You let out a broken, “i miss you more” as the void in your chest grows the longer you two hug.

Once you finally calm down,you break the hug, now seeing each other how you guys remember. “Well shit..” you both say in sync, making you both laugh. “You look so grown. I don’t like it.” Lo’ak says as he admires you a little longer, a feeling of peace swirling in his chest. “Yeah,me neither” you say in a soft tone, once again feeling guilty for moving on without him with you.

Placing left hand on your head, and his right on your shoulder he looks at you with a soft smile on his face, “Y/n,you’ll be ok. I’ll always be watching you, and I’ll always protect you.” The tone of his voice making you inhale sharply so the next wave of tears doesn’t come. He raises his pinky finger towards you, waiting for you to do the same. You let out a soft chuckle at his childish behavior before obliging.

Once both of you pinkies are holding onto one another, he grips your shoulder tighter. “Promise me, that you won’t give up on yourself, that you won’t push everyone away, that you won’t drink your feelings away. Promise me that you can get over this feeling. That you will live through this feeling.”

You squeeze his pinky even tightly as you feel the tears well up in your eyes, realizing that time will make no difference to how much you miss him. But it will for how much you will grow through this feeling.

Tugging his pinky towards yours, you nod your head ‘yes’ before saying, “I promise. I promise I’ll do my best for you. I promise that I’ll try for you.” The words making a smile appear on his face. He brings you into a loving hug, the warmth of comfort washing over both of you guys.

“Happy birthday,twin” you guys say in sync again, a soft giggle coming from both of you. Breaking the hug, he grabs your hands and squeezes them tightly “ow! That hurts!” “I don’t care! I want you to have fun for me today alright? Celebrate us! Spend time with everyone that loves you and gives a shit about you. You deserve it!” he says through his laughs, making you smile softly at his childish demeanor.

“Alright I will!! I’ll come visit you again tonight and I’ll tell you all about today!” You say in a giddy tone, noticing that this has been the first time you’ve been somewhat happy since these last 4 months.

“You better” he says while rolling his eyes dramatically, knowing he did it to make you laugh. Once your laughter dies down, you both look back at the water. Not wanting this moment to end already. “I love you,bro” you say while bumping your shoulder against his, making him laugh and do the same to you. “I love you more,sis” he says with a soft smile on his face, one that replaced the one on yours.

You two stay like this for a while, just basking in each others presence and invading each others space. Thoughts of leaving suddenly crowd your head and the second those thoughts occur, your brother says something about it.“Y/n go spend the day with them. You know how they get on our birthday, plus they’ll make you feel better.” He says in a delicate tone, a soft smile on his face from remembering how much they loved celebrating your birthdays. You sigh softly, before reluctantly standing up.

He gets up with you, bringing you into an affectionate hug. Without breaking it, he whispers “I’ll miss you,sister.” With complete sadness laced in his tone. A tear falls from your face from the sound of his voice,“I’ll miss you more than you’ll ever know, brother.” You two stay like this for a while, until it starts getting harder to breathe, a harsh reminder of the truth.

Breaking the hug, you give him a look that lets him know that, making him hesitantly let go of you. “I’ll see you later tonight brother, I promise. I love you!” You say while turning around to leave, hearing him let out a little ‘I love you, too’ before you leave.

Once you reach the surface you catch your breath, calling out to your ilu and mentally going over your interaction with your brother to avoid acknowledging that void in your chest.

It’s a peaceful ride back home, until you start getting in your head about ‘having fun’ today without lo’ak. Because it wasn’t just your birthday, but his too. And celebrating without him just doesn’t feel right, even tuk knows that.

But right when you start having those doubts, a group of hammerbrow fish swarm around you and your ilu, stopping you in your tracks. One of them swims up to your face and flicks your forehead, making you furrow your brows and shove it away. They swim around you and you ilu for awhile longer before leaving, one of them staying back a little longer to look at you.

The whole interaction left you with a smile on your face, knowing that it was definitely lo’ak telling you to calm down, and to stop worrying about unnecessary things. Making hope swirl in your chest.

With time, you know you’ll be okay.

A/N~ this took SO LONG to write oh my fucking god. But we made it!! And I hope you guys enjoyed this (and this is my first angst fic so pls cut me some slack if some phrasing gets repetitive😔) because I did, didn’t enjoy the tears I cried while writing this but it was worth it🩷 if you made it to the end and you’re reading this I wanna thank you so much for reading this whole long ass fic, must really love me huh😏?? LMFAOO but anyway! Otw to write for kinkmas now🏃🏽‍♀️💨

Duces🫶🏽,

Luvv4j4ybe11

[babygirl-riley]

Haunted

You go through the motions after the break up with Simon

“I don’t know what I’m suppose to do, haunted by the ghost of you.”

Warnings: angst, PURE DEPRESSION, swearing, toxic relationship, break ups, small smut mention, smoking, alcohol consumption, mentions of suicide

simon x reader guide

simon x reader fluff/angst list

Next Part

“You know if I was mistaken I would think you are about to rob this place.” You said placing your whiskey next to his.

The masked man sighed, amusement in his eyes. “What if I was?”

“Well it could be easy to stop you, since you are in your fourth drink in.”

He chuckled. “It’s take a lot than four drinks sweethear’.”

You sat there smoking the last cigarette from your pack. You were fucking pissed, you swore underneath your breath about tonight, even was pissed about thinking about that night, about Simon. Simon fucking Riley, you hated him. LOATHED him. But you fucking love him. OBSESSED with him. Both of you are so opposite yet similar at the same time.

You have been sitting on this god forsaken car for hours. Alone. Packed up with your shit. He was the one to throw his shit into your car yelling at you to leave. Over stupid dinner.

You closed your eyes shaking your head. He wasn’t the only who would over react. You remembered that you threw a glass his way when you were drunk. Both of you broke up that night, then two days later back together. You promised to stop drinking to move passed it. And you did!

Simon and you were together 5 years after that. Slowly it started to deteriorate, he would get home from deployment and straight into the room. While you sat at the table by yourself, with the cold dinner. You didn’t know what would happen on those missions. What he had done.

When you would approach him he would avoid you or fuck you senseless. That’s when you started to slowly pull away too. Going out more. Not being home when he was home as much as possible. It broke your heart to feel the tension built. Simon stopped touching you, kissing you, no attention besides a look and barely after that.

It lasted for 6 months until tonight. Tonight he waited until you got home, in your tight short dress. You did want one thing however you couldn’t your heart was for Simon Riley. So you blew every man off at the club.

“How many drinks can you get for you to take me home?” You asked boldly.

He smirked, you watched his mouth form, his stubble chin, the small scar on his lip. “Not a lot.”

You smirked licking your lips subtly but enough for him to see it. “Good.”

You didn’t know that Simon that night was packing up your things. You didn’t know that pulling away was having him pushing you away. Both of you not being able to express the feelings that you had. That it wasn’t towards you. It wasn’t towards him. Just two broken people not knowing how to express.

“What the hell are you doing?” You yelled as he threw clothes in your suit case.

He didn’t say anything as he continued. You scoffed. “Alright you want help?”

2 years later went by after the bar, he pinned you into the mattress. Rolling his hips into yours. He came back from his job after a couple of months. “I fucking missed you.” He whispered into your ear as his cock hit that spot.

You gasped holding onto him like he would disappear. He made you feel so good, your body, your thoughts, your emotions. “I-.” You let out a long moan couldn’t finish as he picked up the pace.

“You’re mine,” He mumbled, wrapping his arm from under your head as he wrapped you close. “All fucking mine. No one can make you feel this good.”

You nodded quickly as you wrapped your legs around him so he could go even deeper inside. “I love you,” He mumbled again. “Fuck-I love you.”

You went to the bathroom with a new bag grabbing everything in sight that was yours. It shocked Simon at first, that you weren’t fighting back with him. So you were already done? How long have you been feeling that way?

“Don’t forget the living room I don’t want that bloody vase anymore.” He yelled for you.

You rolled your eyes, of course deep down he hated it. “Don’t worry I will be just a distant memory or better yet a fucking ghost,” You tried to keep down the bile. “Like I have been living with the whole time.”

Simon walked into the bathroom making you snap your head at him. “Like YOU have been living with,” his voice was lower, usually it would make your body tingle but this time all you saw was fucking red. “I have been living with a ghost the whole time.”

You scoffed rolling your eyes. “Alright okay,” You pushed passed him as he followed you. “Says the one that has the fucking name, might as well act it out right? Leave me high and dry. Acting like we are fucking roommates.”

You didn’t realize that he stopped in his tracks. His thoughts going back to you stating that his name was already “Ghost.” Which is true but it was out of malice. “Well at least I am not spreadin’ my legs open every fucking Saturday night.”

That made you stop turning sharply towards him, making your way to him. You didn’t mean to, you never have done this before. You tried to stop your hand but it never did. Tears came out as you stepped back placing both of your hands on your mouth. Simon didn’t move his position for a moment.

“I would never hurt you.” You mumbled as Simon was curled into your legs. You rubbed through his scalp, neatly, and smoothly. He was at first shaking an hour ago but it has calmed. His breathing not in ragged quick breaths.

Simon hated waking you up from them, you would wake up and slowly edge him awake before he would swing up. The first time he did it he made your nose bleed. You didn’t understand that night terrors, you were right above him as he swung up. At first he thought he broke your nose since the blood didn’t stop.

Simon hated to notice that the nightmares were getting worse. Seeing his dad and the missions that went wrong. Being a failure in every aspect. He hoped that you didn’t notice those things, his behavior change.

You did notice that the nightmares were becoming more intense and frequent. It was sometimes his dad. Or people he has killed. You knew of both of those things. Simon Riley never had a fair life. “I know my sweets.”

He looked at you, he tried to hold in any emotion that he felt. Simon was shocked. Hurt. He knew he basically called you a whore but he didn’t think you would hit him. Memories flashed back to his father. He turned away from you slamming his boots on and grabbed his jacket.

“You better be out of here by the time I get back. Everythin’.” That’s when the door slammed.

You inhaled the smoke once more. Watching the rain patter on the window, you wanted to die after that. You never wanted to do that, you never wanted to hurt him. Your family didn’t live anywhere near you, let alone want to be around you, so now you sat in your car alone. You lost everyone that loved you. The one man that treated you like loyalty. You leaned back more into your seat thinking about everything that was good. That you wished that you could go back, to how it was, how happy you both were.

All the times you giggled at his dumb jokes to the yelling and screaming at each other. You gripped the cigarette as you started to sob. How did it come to this? All the fighting and distance? You used to love each other. He would never have called you a whore, used to lay men flat that did. But you also never thought you would lay a hand on him.

You looked over at the whiskey you bought two hours ago then at the pills you had for a painkiller years ago. They laid on the dashboard beckoning you. You were already drunk. Empty bottles in the back, your car stationed to no one to find you. Alone. You couldn’t live with the memories, the ghost that would haunt you. The demon that laid inside of you. You sighed throwing the cigarette out the window.

Only if you could go back to that night you met. Restart everything. Maybe in another life.

[alessiathepirate]

Until Dawn

A SMALL JOY: Josh Washington x fem!reader

Summary: Taking Dr Hill's advice, Josh and his lover go up to the lodge and look through all the things his sisters had left behind - after an interesting find she does her best to take his mind off the sadness he's experiencing.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

To be honest, Until Dawn is still one of my favourite horror games. Thanks to the game I found my favourite YouTube channel, my English improved a lot because I wanted to understand every word, and I have a huge crush on Rami Malek to this very day. Me and my friends were obsessed with him the time the game came out, and soon started to watch more of his work together.

Josh Washington was one of my first fictional crushes, I could defend him for years without getting tired and I drew him so many times I actually learned how to draw portraits correctly.

There's a gameplay I like to rewatch every year, because of the great memories I have connected to it. I always fall in love with Josh Washington once again - and thanks to that tradition, I started to write for him as well.

Warnings: a bit of swearing, mentioned depression and loss, mentioning the Washington sisters' disappearance and/or death

•••

° "(...) We would come up in the summer and we would have the best time. The whole family was there - mom, dad, my sisters. It was some serious competition out there on the big lawn... I don't know. Can't go back. New reality." °

She listens carefully, noticing every little pitch or drop in Josh's voice as he speaks - and as he puts down the baseball bat all she can think about is grabbing him and pulling him into a hug, a tight one, the kind that is both loving and comforting. She watches him, she examines his every little move and her heart aches every single time she finds a new sign of sadness.

She hates it.

She hates that look on his face. She hates that change in his voice. She hates that he feels alone. She hates that the whole case is making him go crazy. She hates that nothing is certain and he can't even grieve.

She hates that he had to change so much; that he had to become this depressed because of some stupid, messed up prank their friends had decided to pull on his sister.

He didn't deserve any of it. He doesn't deserve any of it. None of the Washington kids do.

Coming up here was already hard - back to the mountain where Hannah and Beth disappeared, where they played around like stupid teenagers do. Dr Hill said it's for the best - Josh needs some closure, some proof that he needs to slowly start to move on. She thinks it's bullshit - Josh thinks so too. It won't be easy to put yourself through something like this.

But regardless, they came. They are here now, looking through the rooms, the basement...

The memories are hurting her - and if she as a friend is hurting this badly than Josh must suffer a lot.

"Teach me." the words suddenly burst out before she can stop them, wanting to make Josh concentrate on something else - not wanting him to get lost in his own mind.

"What?" the question is loud in the basement.

"Teach me how to play." she continues on, feeling unsure like she tries to cross a very thin and sensitive line. "I've never played baseball before."

"It's been a while since I did so." Josh starts to explain, his gaze falling on the bat he put down. "You really- want to?"

She steps closer to him slowly, carefully, as if she tries to get close to a very scared and wounded animal. She touches his arm, her fingers hold him as her thumb brushes along his skin in an up and down motion. She leans towards him, her face touching his shoulder as she presses a kiss to the area what isn't covered by his t-shirt.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." she whispers. "I know it's not-" she holds that thought and says something else instead: "I just haven't seen you play yet and I want to join in."

Josh looks at her over his shoulder, he looks at her as she tries to smile even if her eyes stay sad. He watches her like she's the only thing he has left, like she's the only person who matters anymore. He looks at her and feels something break inside, realizing that she really is the only one who he has.

"All right." he says and when he sees her eyes change a tiny bit - showing a bit of happiness - he feels his heart flutter. It makes him feel better, it makes him want to touch her too, putting his hand over hers - over the one which is still clinging onto his arm. "As long as you promise me you won't accidentally hit yourself with the bat."

And there's what he wanted to see - her expression changes, playful offence takes the sadness' place and she gently hits his back.

"Hey! I wouldn't do that."

"You totally wouldn't." his sarcasm earns him another punch and despite the situation and the place, he feels like he got something back.

The last time they bickered like this was half a year ago, the night his sisters had disappeared. They drank and played around until they started to make out in the kitchen, only stopping when Chris stepped inside the room wanting some booze for himself.

As they climb the stairs hand in hand they both feel somewhat relieved. They found a kind of small joy, a bit of happiness - something what they had left here months ago. Josh chuckles when she trips and almost falls, she feels excited as he hands her the baseball bat outside.

"Since there're only the two of us here, I think it's best I teach you how to hit the ball and not yourself."

"I'm not that clumsy Mister!" she tries to sound offended, but it doesn't work.

"I know you too well, girl; and I don't trust you with that at all."

Josh stands behind her, keeping a gentle hold on both of her arms as he explains how to stand and how to hold the bat. She chuckles when he playfully tickles her and this time she doesn't feel guilty about laughing. Before he lets go of her to throw the ball, he gives her a short hug and presses a kiss into the crook of her neck.

She misses the first time...

and the second time; and the third time...

She misses and Josh laughs and she thinks it's the most beautiful sight she's ever seen.

They change positions after a while and no matter how she throws, Josh never misses - not even once. He hits the ball every single time and it flies and lands far away.

She has the feeling that in that very moment, doing that very thing they both feel somewhat complete. She feels like Josh's smiles are honest, his laughs are honest and she forgets about Dr Hill and his stupid advice.

"No shit you like to play it." she says after a while as the both of them are lying in the grass, her head resting on Josh's arm. "It is fun."

"Believe me darling, it is much more fun when you actually hit the ball." his voice has a teasing edge to it and for a moment she thinks about turning towards him and hitting him playfully once again - but she doesn't.

Instead - hoping to get something more, trying to get a kind of good change out of him, she says: "I will, after a bit more training. You'll teach me, I have no doubt about that."

Josh turns towards her, gently touching her face and playing with her hair. She tries to read his face and she realizes that he understands what she's playing at. She wonders if he'll get upset or sad... but she gets an answer pretty quickly.

"I will - of course I will. You'll be the best player in this damn country."

The muscles in her face twitch and she feels like she'll cry. It's been so long, so long since Josh smiled and laughed that now seeing it again feels like a whole new experience. She doesn't want to leave the place or the moment. It's too nice.

"Better than you?"

"Way better." he promises and lets go of the lock of hair he's been playing with. "I love you, you know that, right?"

She feels frozen at the question and starts to wonder where it's coming from. The doubt in his voice, the softness in his eyes... He deserves the world, he deserves everything in it and he deserves to know that he does enough for her - she feels his love and every single emotion and action it causes.

"Of course I do... I know." she promises. "I love you too. And I'm here for you, no matter what."

It's her turn to lean in and she kisses him, making sure the kiss is soft and calm. She wants to make him feel whole and safe. She wants him to be happy.

They lay back down and stay quiet for a bit, enjoying the sunlight and the light summer breeze. She feels like she could melt. Melt into the feeling and moment forever, without ever getting bored.

"You know," Josh starts suddenly, his voice soft and unsure. "it's been a while since I've taken you out on a date."

"It's fine, Josh. These past months weren't exactly the best."

"No... I know." for a few moments he stays silent, not knowing what to say. "All I want to say is I have a few movies here we can watch and we can have a nice time before we-"

"-go back to them." she finishes, understanding what he means.

Them. All the friends, all the family members and pals who show an annoying amount of pity. All of those people who try to comfort Josh when doesn't want to do anything with them. The people who make him feel worse than better.

"I'd love that." she smiles at him as he turns towards him and hugs him. "But no horror."

"No horror." Josh nods.

It wouldn't be good for either of them.

She kisses his shoulder as they get going, stretching their muscles, before climbing the stairs to go and find the movies Josh was talking about.

As they look over his DVDs while hugging, all she can think about is how unfair life is, because Josh doesn't deserve any of the problems life threw at him...

[tomkaulitzssgirl]

First of all I need to say I love love love love loveeeeee your writing 🫶 tbh, you inspire me to get back into writing myself !! If you still were accepting requests, I was wondering if you could maybe do smth for Bill and a female reader who’s really short and insecure about her height and gets feels really low and depressed due to it? Maybe she is sick of some of the comments/jokes being made by some fans (and maybe even Tom at first ?? LOL) when she is seen together with Bill? And he could like comfort her or smth maybe he finds her sexy?? Maybe even smut with a SIZE KINK OH EM GEEEE 🥵 tyty so much 🖤

- okay so at first when you met him, the first thing he noticed was how short you were, but not in a bad way, he actually found that really cute

- you had always been insecure of your height, because people in school always made fun of you for it

- you actually had a time in your life where you were scared to go out because people would make fun of you

- it was really tough, especially because all of your friends were so tall compared to you

- you didn’t understand why they would pick on you though, it made no sense

- why make fun of something that you can’t decide? it was stupid

- but again, there are many stupid people in the world

- so when bill actually started appreciating it, you were in shock

- you thought he didn’t want to be with someone short, you thought he would’ve liked a model - tall girl type of thing

- BUT GOD WERE YOU WRONG

- he loved picking you up, it was so easy for him

- when you guys took pictures together, he would always playfully put his arm on your head and you would pose with annoyed look on your face

- for sometime, you actually were confident in yourself since bill made you feel that way

- but it all crumbled down when paparazzi started taking pictures of you two together when you went public

- bill loved how he was so tall in those pictures where you walked together

- and god how he loved the way his hand was much bigger than yours

- he could easily lift you with just one hand

- but then again, not everybody thought of it that way

- you knew that going public would’ve brought love and hate and you were right

- many jealous fans started making fun of you, calling you a dwarf or saying that bill looked like your father because of how small you were (which made you disgusted)

- so for awhile, you cried yourself to sleep when you were alone while you pretended to be happy with him

- he didn’t pay much attention to the media since he was used to it but for you it was such a new thing

- infact at first he just told you to ignore it

- but one night, while you were on tour with him, he heard you sniffling while you were under the covers

- he approached you slowly, thinking you maybe had a cold

- but when you turned around after a few times of refusing to do it, his heart broke completely

- “oh, meine liebe…” he would whisper as he hugged you tightly, laying beside you

- he would get so angry

- you guys would talk about it and he promised he would make sure to tell his fans to stop this bullshit

- he would never fail to remind you how beautiful you are

“Y/N, i love everything about you and you know that, your eyes, your smile, your hair, your body, everything! there is nothing i don’t worship on you. i won’t let people ruin your mental health and confidence.”

- he knew how it felt being bullied since he experienced it sadly

- he couldn’t understand how people could be so evil, especially to you

- no one could touch you or make you feel hurt in any way

- he also had to deal with his dumb twin, tom

- even if he did it out of love, tom would make fun of you too sometimes

- you would fake a laugh, especially during the times where you were the most insecure

- bill would notice and tell him to stop before talking to him in private about the situation

- after that tom would apologise wholeheartedly

- you were like a sister to him now and he didn’t want to make you feel bad, it was just his way of playing and showing love

- you would be embarrassed at first because your insecurity was something that only bill knew about besides your parents

- but you accepted his apologies immediately

- BUT…..there are not just bad things about this

- remember when i said bill loved how his hand was bigger than yours?

- well, it didn’t stop there

- he loved how his whole body was bigger than yours

- especially in bed

- he loved being on top of you, watching your small figure underneath him, struggling to take all of him

- he loved watching his hand wrap around your neck

- or how he could easily change your positions and fil you over like you were just a feather

- he would be really careful though, he didn’t want to hurt you

- and honestly, during those times, you loved being this short and small

- like it would actually make you so wet jlsnwj

- the feeling of being overpowered by him, being so submissive to him and hearing him praise you for being such a good girl for taking him so well was something out of this world

- even when sometimes you wanted to act like the dominant one, he would always made sure to remind you that you couldn’t top him

- he would look down at you with a smirk as you tried to make him obey to you

- “what? you wanna be so tough but can’t even look at me in the eyes?” he would tell you when you tried to say something smart at him but quickly looked away when he would lean down, with his arms folded against his chest

- so yeah basically, not everything was bad

- you knew that he loved you for being you, flaws and everything (even if for him it wasn’t a flaw)

- and you loved him for being so gentle and patient with you during the hard times

- honestly, such a sweet and healthy couple <3

a/n: hope you like this <3 love u so much thank u for the sweet words, hope you get back to writing! <3

[icallhimjoey]

All Goes South

♥ ♥  Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Joe is overworked, tired, exhausted and just... he needs a break. Everyone knows it, too. None of it is really exciting to him anymore. Then, he meets you, and something reignites within him.

CW / disclaimer: 18+, language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader

Author’s note: Here's part 2! I know this might be going from 0 to 100 a bit fast, but listen, you're very intriguing and it's very difficult not to become completely obsessed with you, you know? Enjoy! :)

Wordcount: 4.1K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“So, what do they make you do?”

Joe coughed into his drink, getting some of it onto the table. You immediately moved in and offered hands that didn’t really do much instead of hover in space in front of him as beer dripped down Joe’s chin.

“You make it sound like I’m forced into labour,”

“Well, are you?”

Joe wiped his chin with his forearm before using both his hands to grab onto yours for a small squeeze, thanking you for the useless bit of help as they clearly weren’t needed. You gave a small smile, but Joe frowned as he went on to answer.

“I’m not, it’s just...” he trailed off, sighed, thought for a second, and then squared his shoulders. “You know what,” he sat up the straightest he could sit up. “Let’s not talk about work.”

“All right.”

Not all right. Not talking about work swiped every single topic you thought you could talk to him about off the table. Great.

“What about you? Do you work at that restaurant?”

It was your turn to hesitate to answer.

“You just said, let’s not talk about work,” you challenged, a small smirk playing your face.

“Oh, right,”

“But, I used to. Was there to grab a quick bite, they never turn me away. I ate stood in the kitchen, and then had a quick drink behind the bar... that’s when I noticed whatever you had going on at your table.”

Joe nodded, took another sip. An awkward silence took over. It dawned on you how stupid of a situation you’d placed Joe in, and you realised that Joe probably was thinking the same thing.

“Did I overstep? I don’t want to prod, but you looked functionally depressed back there,”

Joe sat back in his seat, looked at you a second, then said, “You did overstep, actually. But I went with you, didn’t I?”

He couldn’t really explain why either. But he had done. And now he was here, and Joe took in that he also could’ve gone home. You lead him through that kitchen out into that alleyway, and he could’ve just gone home. Crawled back into bed, like he’d wanted to do when he had been staring at himself in the bathroom for a couple of minutes at that restaurant. He could’ve gone home, but he hadn’t, and now he didn’t really want to anymore.

“I’m sorry,” you said, but Joe’s face was sort of... beaming, so you smirked, your apology definitely not sincere.

“Nope, not good enough,” Joe spoke into his drink before he had another sip, eyes on you as he drank. If Joe thought it hid his smile, he was wrong.

“Ah, man. I was afraid of that,” you giggled. “How will I ever make it up to you?” you asked, and when Joe didn’t answer fast enough, you added, “I got the first round,” implying it had to count for something. Because you wanted there to be- hoped there’d be more rounds. Many more rounds.

“You did, but this is only going to get me in more trouble, I’m afraid,”

A small silence fell where you both smiled at each other, each of you narrowing your eyes. It was playful in a way Joe hadn’t encountered before, not in a good while anyway, and although a little suspicious of it all, Joe was kind of into it. This whole flirtatious vibe he had going with a pretty stranger he somehow was now having drinks with. Instead, he was meant to be listening to people tell him about the upcoming three months of work right now... but this was definitely more fun.

Joe noticed that whenever he’d take a sip, you’d take one. He took a huge gulp to check, and when you copied him, he laughed. In silence, he raised his eyebrows at you, challengingly so, before he put his glass back to his lips.

Oh shit, you thought, he’s not going to down it, is he?

But of course, he fucking was.

And now so were you, taking down big gulps of lager as you held eye contact, eyes growing larger with each swallow because, surely, he wasn’t going to really finish the full full pint?

Joe slammed his empty glass down, releasing a loud guttural grumble as he exhaled loudly, clearly struggling as he caught his breath. You weren’t even halfway down your drink yet.

“No, you don’t have to–” Joe laughed, but you persisted. “Oh, yep... no, you’re doing it,”

Seconds later, with your face contorted like you were in actual pain, you too set down an empty glass with a shaky hand and were met with a set of admiring eyes. Joe seemed impressed, a little.

“Okay,” your voice came out all constricted, barely there, face all scrunched up. “Another one?”

And before Joe could complain about you getting the next round too, you’d already stood up and made your way over to the bar. Two more pints, two more tequila shots.

In a bid to get to know each other better, Joe said he was going to ask you five questions you had to answer truthfully, alcohol absolutely fueling the conversation.

After three kind of normal questions about the best meal you’d ever had, if you preferred baths over showers and what your favourite thing about your mum was, Joe cleared his throat loudly and rubbed a thumb over the condensation of his glass. He seemed to stall a little, shifted in his seat, and then went and asked anyway.

“You know who I am... how?”

“Stranger Things, of course,”

“Of course,” Joe raised his glass as if to cheers you before he took another sip.

“But I must admit, I just... I only really watched it because Steve, he’s just... Steve’s very– Steve’s very Steve.” You sighed, sort of lovestruck, and perched your elbow onto the table, your chin then planted into your palm.

Joe’s face broke into a smile slowly as he eyed you over his glass.

“You know?” you asked for confirmation and got it immediately.

“Oh no, yea,” Joe furrowed his brow as he nodded, agreeing. “Steve is very Steve, you’re right.”

You grinned at each other, and you asked if you could ask him a question now, if it was your turn yet. But Joe said he had one more. Arguably the most important one.

“And be honest... all right, Steve or Eddie?”

“Steve.”

You said that entirely too quickly. Too definitively. Didn’t even leave a fraction of a second to pretend that you had to think about that.

Joe was shocked and gasped loudly as he clasped a hand over his heart. Couldn’t believe it. Made a whole show of it, face contorting in fake cries, a sleeve pulled over his hand to wipe away fake tears.

“Do you need my reasons?”

“No, no,” Joe was instantly laughing. “No, I’ve seen him. I get it, I suppose.”

“Sorry,” you scrunched up your nose.

“No, s’fine,” Joe pretended to be hurt still, looked down at his glass as he took a deep breath with big eyes. “I’m so fine,”

“Do you need a moment?”

“Please,” Joe fake sobbed, and it had you giggling away until Joe also broke.

There was something about Joe that completely pulled you in. You tried to figure out what it was, and concluded that alcohol was probably half of it. The other half, perhaps... his charm? Joe was very cute when he giggled. Little handsome, too. Okay, but maybe... maybe a lot handsome, actually.

You couldn't really think about it too long, because you would turn shy if you did.

Anyway. It was your turn now.

“Come on, have at it. Shoot!” Joe beckoned you with both his hands. You took a moment to think about what you should ask. Couldn’t be about work, like you’d agreed upon earlier. You shifted in your seat and sat up a little when you thought of something.

“Okay, here’s the question, have you ever killed anybody, be honest.”

Joe was lucky he’d just swallowed a sip down as a chuckle immediately ruptured from his throat.

“Even on accident. Tell me the truth, right now.”

But then his own spit seemed enough, and Joe kind of nearly choked on it, coughing and laughing at the same time. You carried on.

“Okay, no, do you want a real question?”

All red-faced and voice strained from the coughing, Joe answered, “Yes.”

“Here’s a real question. Do you, okay... If you...” you narrowed your eyes up at the ceiling.

“Yea?”

“What is...? All right,” you shifted in your seat, pretended to know where you were going with this but very clearly, you didn’t have a fucking clue.

“Here we go,” Joe rubbed his hands together in anticipation, absolutely wholly aware that you had no idea what question you were about to formulate.

“If you could have– what if you could have... okay, wait. So, if you took... all right,”

Joe could barely keep it together, his face reddening as he tried to hold back his giggles. This was fucking hilarious, and anyone listening in thinking otherwise could fuck off, Joe thought.

“If you knew, if you knew for sure... that no one would ever, ever, ever find out, would you...”

You looked at Joe, laughter escaping you now too.

“Would you?” You finished. None of it made sense, which was exactly the point.

Joe raised a hand, palm up and made big eyes.

“I probably would.”

“Yea?”

“I think so.”

“Same.”

You eyed each other for a moment, nodding, before you burst out laughing.

Briefly, you felt drunk on this joy between the two of you. It was addictive in its nature, and you knew that things like this never really lasted, that maybe you should reel back a little, pace yourselves... but you really didn't want to. You felt too greedy for it, needed more of it, and when you saw Joe's face very suddenly drain of all delight as he looked behind you, it shocked your system a little.

It was only for a second, because just as quick as Joe's face read utter doom, it flooded with sheer relief right after.

You looked over your shoulder and saw that people had come in. Saw the type, and realised Joe must've thought they were members of his team. You'd forgotten that he was on the run, still. Hiding from the people that wanted to cage him back up. That was probably more dramatic than what was actually going on, but that was what it felt like, anyway.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t really know what to ask you,” you said, speaking in truth as you returned to your conversation.

“I have another one for you,” Joe finished his beer. “Where to next?”

You checked the time on your phone. You could definitely still get a slot in, make it in time, but you would have to leave right now.

“Ever heard of this place called Swingers?”

Joe cocked an eyebrow, gave you a face that read, Swingers?! We've only just met!

“Perfect. You haven’t. Let’s go!”

Like children afraid of their parents catching them whilst sneaking out of the house, you snuck out of the pub, hunched over and bent into each other, laughing as you made your way to a main road to stop a cab.

You kept darting your eyes around, scanning the streets, as if there were still people after you. Logically, you both understood that there probably weren't, but it was fun to pretend.

Getting out of the car, not even 10 minutes later, Joe eyed the neon sign in the window and looked at you a little suspiciously.

“What am I about to walk into?”

You just smirked, grabbed hold of him by the sleeve and pulled him inside.

Nothing really gave away what kind of place you were dealing with until you were fully inside, and got a good look around.

“How's your swing?” you grinned at Joe as he let his eyes scan the room. There was a lot to see.

“Clever,” Joe said, his face reading that he kind of fell for it a little. But who wouldn't have? From the outside, nothing about the location gave away that there were four full 9-hole crazy golf courses inside.

You had to wait a little bit, got to have more drinks as you did, and watched from the side lines a little. You were definitely selling the idea that you were amazing at golf. That Joe was going to have to come in hot from the start if he wanted a chance at winning. Joe silently took in all of your boasting, your bragging, and the lack of retaliation would've usually made you simmer down a bit, but not this time. You kind of took it even further, started saying things like you were a record holder here at Swingers, that's how good you were. In fact, maybe it'd be best to just leave all together because Joe wasn't going to have any fun losing to you. You were unstoppable in your bigmouthing, but only because it very much was all complete lies.

You fucking sucked at crazy golf.

Joe found out soon enough, when you hit your first ball way too hard, launching it from the course entirely.

“See? I'm fucking fantastic at this game,” you joked sarcastically and made Joe laugh.

It took you 8 hits for your first hole, which was meant to be the easiest one. Joe got it in 2.

You made your way through the holes, and Joe was annoyingly quite good at the game. He even got a hole-in-one, entirely unexpected, proven by the way he cheered for himself. You looked around, yelled, “Ref! Ref!” at a non-existent referee and tried to secretly give Joe a higher score on your little form which Joe wrestled from your hands to make sure you wouldn't.

The both of you seemed determined to be present in one another's space a bit too much. Be a little closer than normal people would be, than even friends would be. You literally only met a few hours ago, but you gravitated towards each other like the moon and the earth did. Joe thought you kind of controlled his tides like the moon controlled the earth's too.

He wasn't complaining. All of it was actually rather exciting.

When you got to a particular difficult looking course, Joe suggested he'd help you. To teach you his ways, Joe said, like he was in fact a professional whilst, quite clearly, he was mediocre at best.

“Come here, you've... there's a system you've got to understand,” Joe beckoned you to step into his arms a little, and in one of the most stupidly cliché moves ever, Joe swung his arms around you and placed his hands over yours so you were both holding your small crazy golf club.

With his head on your shoulder and his breath hot in your neck, Joe lowered his voice.

“See, there's a tunnel... and it goes up a bit, so we can't hit it too gently, it needs a little speed to make it up there, but,” Joe guided your arms back a little more, ready to make the hit. “If we don't aim correctly, it'll bounce back,”

Joe moved slow. Too slow. Stretching the moment of being pressed up against you. You swung the club back and forth a couple of times, each time nearly touching the ball in a bid to level your eye-hand coordination. You heard Joe inhale deeply, sniffing up your scent, and it was followed by a shuddery exhale. Then Joe turned your whole body with his, swung back more and hit the ball.

It clanged loudly against the side and bounced back immediately, making the both of you snicker silently.

That was definitely done badly on purpose.

“It's okay, we've all got our talents,” you quipped, suggesting that this just wasn't one of yours. You shrugged and smiled as you went to get the ball back into place.

“No one saw that try, come on, we can do this,”

You bit back a smile at how painfully obvious Joe's moves were. Joe wanted you back in his arms and wasn't being particularly secretive about it.

Every shot for your turn you took after that, you took together.

And then when Joe messed up on the last course, you stepped in. Threw Joe's moves back into his face when you went to stand behind him, arms curled around his waist, blindly patting around to find his hands on his club. “You see, there's a system,” you said, your cheek pressed tightly against his back as you did your best to take charge, to lead Joe's movements.

Joe didn't help. Didn't crouch down. Didn't try to make himself smaller for your sake, so you ended up snaking your head around him on the side, making him lift an arm to then help you see. You couldn't even hit the ball like this, completely missing it as you swung.

This playful flirtatious behaviour was the type of shit that could make Joe fold. Make him fall to his knees, be entirely at your mercy, weak for your attention and even weaker for the giggles he could pull out of you with a single stupid move. A stupid joke. A stupid face. The whole thing was so stupid, but you were laughing and touching and it was perfect.

When you were done, Joe, who was in charge of the score, added everything up and then, after a drumroll on the bar, declared you the winner.

“You have way more points than I do,” Joe beamed, completely ignoring that in crazy golf, the lowest score won.

“Told you. I'm undefeated,” you were well aware you lost, but if Joe said you'd won, you'd won.

It was nearing in on midnight, and stepping out back onto the street with Joe, one thing kept repeating in your brain.

Let's keep going. Let's keep going. Let's keep going.

“So, where to next?” you said, peering down the street.

Please don't say home, please don't say home.

“I think...” Joe narrowed his eyes in thought.

Please don't fucking stop the night now, we're having too much fun, don't stop this, please don't stop this.

“I think I know a cool place,”

Oh, thank fuck.

“Are you afraid of heights?”

You cocked an eyebrow, just like Joe had when you'd asked him if he'd ever heard of Swingers, gave him a face that read, heights? Why is that relevant?

“Perfect. You're not. Let’s go!” Joe reached for your hand, pulled you to the kerb and hailed a cab.

You drove east, made a joke about birds usually flying south, and Joe commented about how he'd show you south, but from up high, like actual birds would do.

The further east you went, the higher the office buildings became, and down from inside the taxi, you looked up at them through the window. Tall, shiny buildings, with so many lights still on, no matter that it was past midnight now. It was sort of mesmerising, and it fit the night perfectly. But after being touched so easily and frequently at Swingers, sitting in the cab at either side of the backseat almost felt like you were suddenly very distant. And you didn't like that. Didn't want to be so distanced from Joe.

Your touches had been fine within context, all easy to be explained, to be excused. All accidental. Somewhat inadvertent. All fitting within the context of everything.

Sitting in the back of a black cab? There seemed no real excuse, no matter how much you, or Joe, thought of reasons to reach out––

Oh.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a hand that wrapped fingers around the back of your neck and scratched up into your hair a little. You had to work hard to not let any noises slip out when you released a contented sigh.

“Nearly there,” Joe spoke softly, barely above a whisper.

You turned your head to look at him, and saw Joe lazily smile at you. He had his arm fully outstretched in order to reach you, and your eyes panned down to the middle seat.

Fuck it.

You unbuckled your seatbelt – dangerous, you were just turning a bend – and slid down the seat until your thigh pressed up against Joe's. It gave his arm enough room to now fully wrap around both your shoulders as you buckled up again. Joe looked at you with a grin and eyes that sort of couldn't believe you, but then pulled you more towards him and let you snuggle up a little.

It was fine. Not weird at all. You were nearly there anyway.

You pulled up outside of a tall building that had an elevator located on the outside of the building, all glass, all brightly lit with colourful lights that went all the way up to the top.

“Are you ready to be torpedoed up into the sky?”

“How high are we talking, little bird?”

“Duck & Waffle is on the 40th floor. Come on,”

The lift was a ride. It went so fast, you felt a little dizzy after, and your ears needed popping. But the view was... the view was something else entirely.

You were lead into the bar where you got seated. You were shown your table, and you both thanked the host, but then before you sat down, you stepped towards the windows. The floor-to-ceiling windows gave an incredible view of London at night. You stared past your own reflection, and looked down at the Gherkin. Right behind it, saw the Tower of London, Tower Bridge, The Shard... it all seemed a bit tiny. Much less intimidating from up here.

“Oh my God,” you thought maybe you were too drunk to really process the view.

“I know,”

“This is gorgeous,”

“It is,”

You heard Joe inhale sharply.

“It really is,” he then said more softly, and you let your eyes focus on Joe's reflection next to you and saw he was staring at you. It made you bump your shoulder into him, making him chuckle slightly.

Duck & Waffle was amazing. You had cocktails, tried fancy sounding drinks Joe suggested, and then suggested your own weird concoction to a waitress that you made Joe try. It was awful. So very, very bad. But Joe drank it anyway, insisted that it was actually amazing because he was a trooper like that.

You pointed in different directions and asked each other, if you'd ever had a weird experience somewhere that way, guessed if you grew up somewhere that way, dared each other to soon go somewhere that way and to share a picture as proof. It made you exchange numbers which took so much fucking longer than it should have, because Joe had a lot of missed calls and messages he did his best to ignore, and then you added your phone numbers into your contact lists manually, and were both, well, drunk.

Joe was touching you near constantly, hands finding your arms to grasp, your shoulders to sling around, and even at one point, your thigh to rest on. He was being unbearably affectionate for a famous guy out with a girl he didn't know, but you leant into it.

Loved it.

Invited more of it through body language Joe seemed to pick up on immediately.

The tides, the moon, birds with flapping wings, gravity - all of it wrapped in sugary sweet drinks and silly flirting. It made your cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

There was a moment when Joe'd pointed in a direction and said, I live there somewhere. He had to lean in close a little to be able to see it from where you were sitting, and it was close enough for you to lean forward and kiss him. You noses almost touched, and that's exactly why Joe did it. You knew that was why, because he lingered. Pretended to look real hard into the distance of slightly reflective windows and hovered in front of you, the air charged, making your eyes flutter, until you pointed a finger in front, said you lived that way, somewhere.

It was just after 2AM when you stepped out, back onto the pavement again.

“So, are we going to your place? It was this direction, was it?” Joe jokingly pretended to start walking, but you scoffed loudly.

“My place?”

Joe looked at you a little sheepishly.

“Seriously? You think I'm going to invite a... random guy-” Joe frowned at that, “-I just met and invite them over to my place? So he'll then know where I live? Have my actual address? Where we'll then be alone? That's insane. That's not safe. That's how people literally get murdered.”

Joe waited until you stopped rambling, then looked you up and down, shrugged and said,

“All right... my place it is, then.”

---

The Taglisted: 

@ghostinthebackofyourhead @dirtyeddietini @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @sadbitchfangirl @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @figmentofquinn @haylaansmi @thewondernanazombie @munsonmunster @kellysimagines @mybffjoe @chaoticgood-munson @harringtonfan4 @sherrylyn628 @bdpst-massacre @05secondsofsexgods @lovelyblueness @adoreyouusugar @nadixq @prozacandnicotine @munsonswhore86 @alwayslindie @thefemininemystiquee @hauntingbastille @eddie-joe-munson @ali-in-w0nderland @pepperstories @phyllosilicate-s @thebellenouvelle @luvrsbian @joesquinns @choke-me-joey @alizztor @thelostmoonofpooosh @did-it-work @capricornrisingsstuff @quinnsbower @frogers @kennedy-brooke @daleyeahson @eddielives1986

(taglist currently full, sorry)

[samfosho]

I hate to do this, but not asking for help is how I ended up with tens of thousands in medical debt to begin with and I'm getting desperate.

So, hi. I'm Sam. I'm a queer, autistic & ADHD living with mountains of medical debt that has accrued after working a decade at a job I believed in for just pennies, with nothing to show for it but burnout and depression. (Yes, I know there are charities that buy medical debt. I did not know about them before I took advice from An Adult That I Trusted and Thought Was Smart years ago now, who said just put it on a credit card. I have learned and suffered for that mistake)

Fortunately, I've got a good job now. Unfortunately, that doesn't solve all my problems overnight. Currently, I have about $36 to my name, which isn't even mine if you think about it (see: debt), and I don't get paid for a week. I'm working on the Big Shit, but there are two things I really need help with:

Immediate: I have a car payment coming out today for $156 that I can't cover

Less Immediate, but still looming: I NEED to have my wisdom teeth out. I've put them off for a long time, and I'm currently dealing with a lot of pain as I wait for the appointment next month. Insurance came back with them covering half, but that still leaves $1400 out of pocket.

I thought I had everything budgeted a little better this month, and all I had to worry about was the upcoming wisdom teeth appointment. I had a small car issue (tires needed replaced) and I forgot my rent went up this month and not next.

This is a huge ask, and I know we're all struggling, so I'm not asking for that full amount.

That dental appointment is the soonest I can get in, at the least expensive office that takes my insurance, so moving to a different doc isn't an option. They DO offer payment plans, however they only offer 6 months, and the full amount is too much of a monthly payment for me to make and still pay rent/make car payments/feed my cats.

If I can make that first payment on the day as big as I can, and cut the monthly payments, that would be an immense relief.

SO, my goal is $600, if at all possible, in the long run, so I don't lose everything

But my immediate, PLEASE if you can, so I don't lose my car or miss rent or get hit with overdraft fees that will just hit me even harder goal is:

$200

This would get my car payment and a little extra to get as many cheap, non perishable groceries as I can so I don't have to worry about what I'll eating the next few months.

If possible, literally anything is a huge help and amazing. If not possible, a little boost would be amazing.

If you would like to receive an actual, physical thing—like, say, a cussy piece of embroidery—you can go buy something from my Etsy store. Stock is limited, cuz I have been working enough that I haven't had time to make a lot of things or get new supplies, but I have some stupid mushroom earrings I can add to the shop, too, when I get a moment, and some stone jewelry that I made and have been meaning to sell for YEARS.

I also have a comic that I haven't updated in forever, because of the aforementioned busyness, burnout and stress. So I will draw you a little robot or something if you donate if you want

Here is a pic of my cats, they would also appreciate eating

Thanks for taking the time to read, I greatly appreciate that, too 💚

I put my links under the cut, so they're not just out there in case this post travels past my need of it

Venmo @ SamFoShoBro

cashapp $SamFoShoBro

Message for paypal. I have it, I just don't like using it.

[elliespassagerprincess]

The air is getting crisp fall is coming so a bôa song is definitely needed can you do twilight by them

Twilight - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! Your wish is my command! Ugh I wish it was fall where I live, it's literally so fucking hot lmao... I hope you enjoy it <3

this story is based off the song Twilight by Bôa, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one!

HUGE Warnings: descriptions of violence, murder, death, gore, sadness, small mention of depression and graves (don't read this if you aren't in the right mental state)

Summary: In which you couldn't win Ellie's heart

Authors note: ladies and ladies, the violence is back! Idk man it's been a while since I've written something like this. Remember you are loved <3

Your word and my word and her word is

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

And twilight gives me, an inner sanctity

And you're feeling, and you're hungry for her

And you don't understand it

But you know you haven't planned it

Your feelings and mine are all lonely

And dawn comes you're there lying with me

And you reach out to touch me, but I am in the twilight

You heard Ellie let out a sigh as she continued venting to you about Dina.

Stupid Dina.

Seems like all Ellie could talk about was her.

Why her? Out of all the people on the fucking planet why did it have to be Dina?

"She said "hey Ellie" and she didn't even smile with me! like what the fuck???" Ellie practically yelled with frustration.

You rolled your eyes at Ellie.

"Ellie calm down maybe she had a bad day"

Ellie stopped pacing around the room to look at you.

"Yeah.... you're right! She doesn't hate me she's just tired" Ellie said with a small smile.

You watched as Ellie lowered herself onto your bed and she looked up at you with a shy smile. She reached out her arms in your direction "cuddle?" she asked softly.

You let out a sigh as got into the bed spooning Ellie. She let out a hum of satisfaction.

"Ellie you need to stop doing this"

"doing what?"

you only shook your head and thought: "making me fall in love with you"

"friends don't cuddle" you brought up.

"Friends do" Ellie argued.

"Dina wouldn't like this" you added.

"well Dina isn't here right now" Ellie spoke matter of factly as she snuggled closer to you.

All you did was sigh as you brought your hand up to scratch Ellie's head. She let out a moan and she closed her eyes.

"You are a great friend, you know that?" Ellie spoke through a yawn.

Yeah, you were a great friend.

Your feelings and mine are all holy but,

You know and I know it's untrue because

When day dawns you're there lying with me

And the dawn can fly away

And you know I love you but you know that

There's nothing you can do about it

Because you love her, and you still want me

If I could be her... but I'm not her and she's not me

And you're somewhere different, on a different planet

You loved Ellie. You loved her a little more than a friend should.

Every time you saw her, your heart raced. She made you feel hot by just giving you a smile. Ellie made you feel things. Things you've never felt before.

You loved her.

But you knew she didn't feel the same.

You lay many nights next to Ellie, listening to her complain about Dina who's oblivious to Ellie's feelings.

It hurt you.

Seeing how Ellie always smiled when Dina walked into a room. Seeing how excited Ellie got, every time Dina said something. Every time Dina complimented Ellie, she almost exploded with joy.

It made you sick.

You tried being Dina.

Maybe Ellie would love you if you were someone else.

Maybe it was the way you did your hair? Was it the way you dressed? Was it the way you looked? What made Dina so special?

You tried cutting your hair the same length as Dina. You started dressing like her. You even copied her stupid music taste.

You tried. You tried so fucking hard.

But you could never be her and Ellie would never see you like that.

You knew Ellie loved you. She wanted you, but not in the same way you wanted her.

You were her best friend.

The girl she could go to with her problems, the girl who would help her with her hair and outfits.

You were nothing more than a friend.

You wanted to be Dina and you prayed to the gods that you could become her. But you didn't. You were nothing more than a friend in Ellie's eyes.

You saw how much Ellie's crush on Dina affected her.

How much it hurt her knowing that Dina most probably doesn't feel the same. And you being the amazing friend that you were, you decided to help Ellie.

You made it your mission to get them together.

Even though it hurt you knowing Ellie would never love you, as long as she was happy, you'd be happy too.

That's how you got yourself in your current position. Sitting across Dina in her apartment.

"So" you stared as you took a sip from the orange juice Dina gave you.

"we need to talk"

"about?"

"Ellie" "What about Ellie? Dina asked confused.

"do you have feelings for her?" you asked.

You watched as Dina burst out laughing, you watched as she threw her head back from laughing.

Anger sparked in you.

Why the fuck was she laughing? What's so fucking funny about liking Ellie?

After a while of Dina laughing, she slowed down breathing heavily before she let out a "Why would I like her? She's weird".

You felt your eye twitch before all hell broke loose.

How dare she say that about Ellie?

Your Ellie?

Ellie loved her so much and this is what Dina had to say?

This was the girl Ellie loved. She didn't deserve Ellie. If only she knew the amount of tears Ellie cried for her.

fucking bitch

You leaped from where you were sitting onto Dina, you straddled her as you punch her over and over again.

"How-"

*punch*

"dare-"

*punch*

"you"

*punch*

You don't even know how long you sat on her, and listened to her beg.

"Please" she whimpered as she tried getting you off her.

You eventually got off her breathing heavily as you looked down at your hands.

Your knuckles were bruised, and your hands covered in blood.

Dina's blood.

You looked over at her, seeing her slowly breathing. She didn't move, she didn't even make a sound.

Maybe she was unconscious.

You couldn't even recognize her with all the blood and bruises.

If Dina woke up, she would call the police. She would tell Ellie. Ellie would hate you.

You couldn't let that happen.

You slowly walked back from Dina, as you heard glass shatter. Your head snapped in the direction of the sound.

You saw pieces of glass scattered everywhere. And your orange juice was all over the floor.

Fuck you wanted to drink that.

You slowly bent down to pick up a shard of glass, and you held in your palm.

You walked towards Dina and you slowly pushed the glass into her trachea. You watched as the blood seeped from the wound.

You took a step back, leaving the glass shard in place. The blood dripped all over her throat and clothes, blood came out of her mouth.

Soon after Dina stopped breathing.

You killed her. You fucking killed someone.

You knew you made the right decision by killing Dina, because now you finally had Ellie to yourself.

And you still want it

The inner sanctity

And it's an evil

But the evil is necessary

And you're still hungry for her

And you still want her loving

But she doesn't love you

You watched as Ellie sat next to Dina's grave. She was sobbing.

Why the fuck was she crying over someone who didn't feel anything for her?

After Dina's death Ellie really struggled. She struggled to accept that the girl she loved wasn't here anymore. And what hurt Ellie the most was that Dina never knew.

Dina never knew the love Ellie had for her.

You watched Ellie spiral. You watched how she suffered.

Your plan was get rid of Dina, not the hurt the girl you loved.

Late at night when Ellie would lay in your arms you would sometimes feel regret for what you did. You didn't know it would affect Ellie the way it did, and you never wanted to hurt her. The guilt you felt soon get's replaced with pride when you realize that you got rid of the girl that was only going to hurt Ellie.

You saved Ellie. You saved her from rejection and embarrassment.

You knew she would get over it eventually.

Ellie's life wouldn't stop because her crush died. At some point she'll just have to accept it and you'll be here waiting for her with open arms.

You quietly walked towards Ellie as she sobbed next to Dina's grave, you raised your right hand putting it on her shoulder.

Ellie looked up at you, and in her eyes you could see how broken she was.

"It's ok Ellie" was all you said before she continued to sob into her hands.

You let out a sigh at the sight.

Months after Dina's death you realized that Ellie wasn't going to forget so easily.

You watched as she printed out pictures of her and Dina, and she placed it all over her apartment. You watched as she went to Dina's grave every week.

You listened to Ellie cry almost every night.

Even though you knew Dina didn't feel anything for her, Ellie still wanted her. Ellie still craved Dina.

Yes, she got affection from you, but you were never going to be enough.

All she wanted was Dina.

And you knew in the years to come Ellie wouldn't be able to move on and forget.

Even though you were there for her through everything. Even though you showed her nothing but love, the only person Ellie ever wanted was Dina.

She wanted Dina's love. Dina's care.

You were nothing but a friend. The realization made you sick.

You did everything for her.

You even killed for her.

But you'll never be Dina.

All you could was comfort her and hope, she'll one day feel the same.

[kerubimcrepin]

An analysis of the most important scene between Kerubim and Joris.

Aka, Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 7]

While Kerubim does want to help and care for Lilotte, he draws a line at getting Joris into a dangerous situation. He's mad at both of them for this stunt.

Joris isn't a kid who acts out or disobeys that often, so seeing Kerubim this pissed off is... very rare. Especially with that anger directed at him.

To make the argument less severe, he tries to present Kerubim with his new achievements in something that is important to him. So that maybe some semblance of pride for him, will get Kerubim to be less mad.

Kerubim shuts him down without any explanation, despite knowing how important sport is to Joris because the stress of Joris being in danger, and also deciding to be ~rebellious~ on this day of all days, is genuinely frying his brain.

But from Joris's pov, he's just being shitty. Just really shitty.

Yet, it is important to note, that at first, he goes along, and leaves Khan. Joris isn't really rebellious as a person.

Another thing that goes deeply wrong with this argument is Kerubim snapping at Joris's idol. Now, he has basically implied that both one of Joris's main interests, and someone Joris loves and looks up to, are worthless to him.

We know that's not what Kerubim means. Kerubim is terrified, and the terror made him angry at Joris, for scaring him further.

Chances are, when he got home and found nobody, his first thought wasn't that he and Lilotte ran away for boufbowl reasons.

But that devaluation is exactly what Joris hears.

The face journey Kerubim goes on in this shot is very interesting. I really do think Kerubim HATES Joris making up parents. He hates it because he knows the truth, and it hurts him, he hates it because he is his parent, and he hates it because feeling jealous of some imaginary constructs is just pathetic.

But he hasn't really said it out loud because fine, whatever, it's normal for a child to make things up. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Doesn't mean he doesn't think it's stupid, and that it isn't maddening to have this brought up when his mom is hunting them down and might hurt him.

However, Kerubim is a hypocrite:

"Making up stories" is something Kerubim has done for 10 years, and the fact that half of them are redacted, censored, or just actually made up, is something Joris accepts, — even values.

"Rules for thee, but not for me," is how Kerubim sounds while complaining about this.

And he's neglected to, uhhh... read Joris's mind to understand the yet unvoiced truth:

Joris despises many things about the way Kerubim treats him.

He wants Kerubim to stop touching him whenever he wants to, he wants him to stop calling him whatever the hell he wants, and he wants him to stop lying.

He would never say this out loud unless he was this mad, because he knows that it will upset Kerubim, and he doesn't want that, because the man is the only family he has, and he's already depressed.

Kerubim doesn't want him to ever grow up into an adult, become independent, and move out. He likes Joris cute, huggable, "doesn't say no to anything I do to him"-ish, and dependant, because that way, he won't leave Kerubim alone. He isn't exactly subtle about what he wants from Joris, and the only thing Joris can do about this, is just feel angry silently.

This is especially poignant, because we know Joris doesn't look his age, even as a ten-year-old. He gets treated like a small child, both inside and outside his own home.

Joris, of all the people in the whole world, yelling at him, is how Kerubim understands that he fucked up badly. It's over. It's more than over — he didn't just bomb this conversation, he nuked it.

Joris yelling at him is like a canary in a mine dying. He really hurt him this time.

What follows is, quite honestly, one of the most important moments for Joris as a character. These are things he says angrily, just to hurt Kerubim as much as possible, — yet there's a grain of truth to all of this, they are Joris's actual, real thoughts on their life, just wrapped up in anger.

Joris correctly identifies and attacks Kerubim's three biggest insecurities, — Joris leaving him, his own failures as a father, and their relationship being built on lies from the very beginning.

I think Joris has thought a lot on the ethics of their situation. Kerubim isn't his biological father so... who exactly gave him the right to raise Joris in these conditions, and take advantage of him for the sake of not feeling lonely and unwanted? I am sure, these are thoughts Joris chastised himself for, and yet...

This is the worst thing Kerubim has heard in the last ten to twenty years. This is his nightmare scenario. Did he miss all these signs that Joris was thinking these things? He hates himself. He just hates himself.

Joris attacks his weaknesses with a precision only a family member can possess.

This is his worst nightmare. And all he can manage to do is fulfil one of Joris's wishes: call him by his actual name, like an equal.

And he really did try to raise him as an equal. Like a best friend. And he failed. Because that's an unattainable goal.

[wizardfrog69]

Hello~I hope you're doing fine! I would like to request daza as a brother figure i with a teenage gn!reader(or fem!reader both is fine) where he saw a little blood on their sleeve when reader is asleep and then finds out they have sh scars

Please feel free to ignore if you're not comfortable with this topic.

I'm still sick but I feel better than yesterday.

I do feel comfortable writing for this topic, and I think mental health awareness is a great and important thing, especially with younger people.

It's okay to not be okay, and it's okay to want and/or need help. We all need help sometimes. The challenging part is always asking for help.

Thank you for the request!

'•.¸♡it's just a small cut♡¸.•'

Bother figure Dazai x teenage reader (platonic)

Angst/comfort

Tw! Self harm, depression like symptoms

If this subject is triggering in any way, please do not read. Your mental well-being is more important.

Masterlist

Enjoy!

You walked out of the bathroom, your arm stung a bit, but you tried to pay it no mind. There was not a lot of blood. You whipped away what you could, so no blood should have gone through your clothes, but you were mistaken.

There was no reason to bother Dazai over something so small and irrelevant, so you never bothered him with anything. You were only overreacting, being dramatic, right? Maybe you felt horrible, like something was eating away at you from the inside, and no matter how many times you tried to claw it out, it would never leave, but it was not that serious. There is no reason for you to cry over this stupid shit. There is no reason to keep... there is no, there is nothing anymore.

Thinking exhausted you, everything did. Who knew existing could be so tiring. You lay down in bed, wishing for all your thoughts to finally go away, but they wouldn't. They kept on haunting you until you fell asleep.

It was late, later than usual, but Dazai finally came back. It was dark and quiet, so he assumed you had fallen asleep. He walked into your bedroom to see if you were asleep after knocking on your door. When he saw you asleep, he was glad to see you safe and sound, that thought did not last long as he saw a red spot on your sleeve. Seeing this sight nerved him, he did the only thing he thought of doing at the moment, making sure you are alright.

Dazai walked up to your sleeping form, pulled your sleeve away, and examined the scar on your forearm. He left the room as soon as he entered, thinking about you, if you were okay or not.

You woke up to the smell of Franch toast flooding every corner of your room. With a wave of tiredness, you stood and left for the kitchen. 'Good morning!' Dazai chirped. 'Morning.' You yawned back. 'So, what did you do?' 'Hm?' 'You never make breakfast, and you always whine about even being near the stove.' 'Oh come on, I've made food before!' 'Ya, once, when we first met. And you're burning the bread.' 'Oh!' Dazai quickly looked back to the pan and managed to scrape the burning piece of bread from the pan and lay another piece in its place.

A plate filled with burnt and semi burnt French toast was placed onto the table. Dazai handed some things to add to the toast to make it more edible. You resorted to honey. He sat in front of you, a look of worry coming over him. 'What's wrong?' You asked, confused. 'I know you are hurting yourself. Could you please tell me what is wrong?' His usual enthusiastic and joking tone turned into a serious one. That was why he made the toast. 'I don't want to talk about it, not yet anyway.' 'Okay, you don't have to, but if you need to talk about anything, I'm here. I'm here to help you with whatever you need.' 'Yeah...' You sighed to yourself, you were not ready to talk to him but you wanted to try.

༺♡༻ 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 ⋆ 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 ༺♡༻

I hope you are okay and that everything will turn out fine.

Sorry, I've been somewhat busy and distracted, so it [the thing I've wrote] might sound odd or different.

Have a wonderful day/night and remember that there are people out there who care about you, maybe they have not said so, or it doesn't feel that way but I can promise you there is atleast one person (or animal) out there who cares about you. :)

-love, Az

[yellowroseswrites]

"That's my thing, right sweetheart?"

Soft!Rafe Cameron x depressed!reader

You want to try something new, Rafe definitely does not like that idea

TW- {SO many drug mentions I swear please skip this if that's a trigger for you, no actual drug use in this tho, it mentions reader smoking weed but it doesn't have an actual scene of it, I think its gn reader but it's not proofread, written on mobile, one use of y/n, reader is sensitive, on the edge of crybaby reader, reader is fairly skiddish, I really need to post things that people actually request instead of crappy 800 word drabbles but here we are! hope you enjoy, remember to drink water and eat a little smth lovelies}

Yesterday Rafe came back home from Barry's house, which usually meant he got stuff.

You were never one to join in his drug habits. You've never done anything stronger than weed, and even that was very rare for you. You wouldn't even call yourself a drinker, to be honest you were a goody two shoes compared to your boyfriend. 

But something about today just felt off. You had felt like that for awhile now actually, like something just wasn't right but you couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. You just knew you didn't like the feeling, and you were willing to try something new to make it go away.

That's what led you to going through Rafe's pockets. He was in the shower, having thrown his clothes haphazardly on his bedroom floor. You knew he kept his little baggies in his shorts, and he wasn't watching you right now, certainly it wouldn't be hard to just look? Just take a peak, maybe just knowing you could would satisfy your mind.

 You found a small bag, you pulled it out to make sure it was what you wanted. Sure enough, it was filled with white powder, some that you were all too familiar with. You had seen Rafe do it a million times, it couldn't be that hard right? All you would have to do is sniff, at least that's what you thought. You were stuck in your mind, contemplating whether or not you actually wanted to do it, when a hand grabbed yours, earning a small yelp from you.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He sounded mad, he was really trying not to, but it certainly didn’t work.

You stepped back a bit, cowering, “N-nothing, sorry.” You choked up a little, regretting the decision to even look in the first place.

Rafe took the bag from your hand and put it in the bedside drawer, making a mental note to take it out after you talk. He looked back over at you, now seated on the edge of the bed, and he let out a sigh.

"I wasn't gonna do anything with it Rafe, I promise." You really wanted the uncomfortable feeling in the room to go away.

He scratched at his forehead, "Then why were you holding it hm? What are you gonna do, throw it? Or hide it? It's my own personal business y/n you have no right deciding what I do with it."

Oh, You thought, He thinks I'm getting rid of it. You hated seeing him like this, so mad and paranoid. "No! No it wasn't like that I-"

"What was it like then? What other explanation is there for you going through my stuff?"

"I was gonna take it! I don't know I-" You weren't supposed to be crying, God, this is so stupid, "I don't know Rafe I wanted to do it but I knew you wouldn't let me so I just-"

"Oh honey-" His demeanor softened immediately at the sight of your tears, he quickly made his way to you, wrapping his arms around you while he spoke, "I'm sorry I got mad, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed. I'm not angry at you."

You wiped your eyes, "I'm so tired Rafey"

"I know darling, I know. We're gonna get you help, something a bit better than coke tho alright? That's my thing, right sweetheart?" You giggled a bit at him, he was clearly trying to lighten the mood. 

You wordlessly moved yourself to your side of the bed, sliding your body under the covers. Moments of high-emotion made you so sleepy, it was second nature to nap after crying. Rafe slid into the spot next to you, throwing his arm over your body and pulling you in close. He would hid the bag tomorrow, and would keep a close eye on you until he knew how to help you. Having you in his arms was enough for him for now though as he let himself drift asleep to the sound of your steady breathing.

[shroombloomm]

Prologue

tw: mentions of ed, anxiety, depression, & irregular eating.

• • •

Lights.

Cameras.

All the attention on me.

I craved it from an early age. Cheryl, my mom, always told me I was an attention seeker. She never meant it negatively, it just meant that I could control a room, or have heads turn when I walked into one. In this case, I truly did make heads turn.

I wore a dress that cost more than our rent. The moment I stepped onto the runway, I heard the people start to clap for me. I was taught not to smile even if I wanted to. It was about the clothes, not about me, but I couldn’t lie–I knew my fans when I saw them.

Step by step, the cheering got louder. The louder the crowd, the more I felt alive. I’d somehow got addicted to this feeling, I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t live for others' validations. I worked hard to get where I was, at some point I believed that if the noise ever stopped…I’d die.

A piece of me chips away each time I leave the stage.

Throughout the years, I never realized how many pieces seemed to break away until I just got…tired.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to model anymore.

Modeling was easy until it wasn’t anymore. Nobody told me about the strict diets, waking up incredibly early to work out with a personal trainer, and the amount of time I had to put into myself every single day. If I wasn’t neat, I wasn’t clean. If I wasn’t lean, I wasn’t perfect. People would think that I had it easy, but it was far from.

When I was five, I wasn’t a small kid. I was chubby and more than okay with that. It was until I started performing that the girls around me started to have an influence on me. I realized that my body wasn’t like others, that my stomach poked out rather than not.

Nobody should’ve ever felt that way about their body at that age. Cheryl used to tell me that I wouldn’t eat after school when I came home. Of course, I didn’t remember, but I took her word for it. As any active kid, I lost weight as I grew up, and I was suddenly more appealing to others. The people who wouldn’t speak to me in school started speaking to me, and boys began looking at me.

Things started to look different when I turned eight. Parents awed over how cute I was and boys would pass me notes in class. I think my mom started to realize how much potential I had when I started getting invited to events, or to be a part of things at school. As any mother would, she thought I was beautiful no matter what; but when the money started coming in from pageants she realized that I had some things that people didn’t.

Seventeen years old, I’d been doing this since I was a kid. Cheryl enjoyed showing off her pretty little girl and I loved smiling and waving to the crowd. I took any role I could get, whether it be a main role in a play, or a centerpiece in the cheerleading squad. I learned how to sing opera, and learned how to dance ballet.

None of that ever prepared me for being a part of the industry.

I was sitting at an afterparty crowded with people that I shared the stage with, yet didn’t even personally know. These parties always seemed fun in hindsight, but I’d never felt so insecure before. I was surrounded by the famously known people, they had worked hard, or not at all, for what they had.

When I was younger, I believed that I would be in the middle of these crowds, talking to everyone. Having everyone gawk over me, compliment me. A stupid, stupid daydream of being the it girl. Yet, I sat in the corner booth away from everyone. Each glance towards me felt like a wound to my chest. I couldn’t think about how the room was starting to close in on me either, I had to take deep breaths through my dry martini.

Cheryl left my side, I didn’t notice how long she’d been gone for. All I knew was that I was desperate for anyone to come sit next to me so I didn’t look like a complete and utter loser. I fixed a piece of my sparkly black dress, brushing the thick curls from my face as my eyes wandered around the room.

I seemed to lock eyes with someone for mere moments, and when I tore my gaze away he stalked his way towards me. I was a bubbly person, but years of being picked apart by magazines started to dull me down. Each person I spoke with, I believed that they were judging me in their heads. Many times I had to excuse myself from a conversation to cry in the bathroom due to stress and anxiety. I was so young.

So when the man sat at my booth, I had to force a smile and seem confident. He looked rich and that was intimidating in itself. Sure, me and Cheryl made more money, but we still rented. We didn’t have much of anything, but we enjoyed pretending that we were rich for the night.

This man had black hair slicked back, a shiny, large watch on his wrist and a crisp blue suit that complimented the tan color of his skin. I tried not to stare into his deep blue eyes as I sat my martini down, turning myself towards him to greet him.

“What is a pretty girl doing here all by herself?” He spoke before I could, hiding his smirk behind the crystal glass of brown liquid.

“Me?” I pointed towards myself, then dropped my hand into my lap, “Oh, I mean…I mean, I’m waiting on someone.”

The way his eyes scraped over me made my skin crawl, not in a good way either. I shifted my weight once more, suddenly wishing I had a shawl of some sorts to cover myself.

“I saw you earlier. On the runway,” He didn’t acknowledge the way he made me visibly uncomfortable, “You’re talented. I’m shocked that you’re not on a bigger scale like everyone else here.”

“Oh, thank you…” I drew out, hiding the hiding on my face with my martini glass, “I just enjoy being able to be at events like this. It’s such an honor to be in a room full of talented people.”

His fingers scratched his jawline as he chuckled quietly, then took a heavy sip of his drink. He sighed happily, setting his drink down on the table.

“I’m Harris,” He introduced himself, “Harris Moon.”

“Margot Miller,” I forced another bright smile.

Once again I was searching the room for Cheryl. The night wasn’t seeming to end, the last time I’d looked at the clock it was almost midnight and my ankles were killing me from these heels. I was exhausted, ready for my mom to come back and whisk me away back home where I could wash the mask off of me and go to sleep.

“Are you signed onto a label, Margot?” Harris drew his finger around the rim of his glass, “Surely someone’s had to take a pretty girl like you.”

I swallowed thickly, searching the room once more, then setting my eyes on him.

“My mom, Cheryl, she’s–,” I tried not to sigh as I said it, so I fixed my shoulders and stretched a smile so wide that it hurt the corners of my lips, “She’s my manager. Unofficially, of course. We’ve been solo for a while, we are just really happy to be where we are.”

Harris nodded, meeting my gaze, “You’ve got talent, Margot Miller,” He pointed at me, leaning closer, “Someone ought to pick you up. That’s why I want to talk to you about signing you to my label.”

I gave him a look, but I couldn’t decipher if it was a look of shock or sadness. I was seventeen years old, already exhausted from living the path that I chose. The reason we hadn’t signed onto a label was because I’d always chased them off before Cheryl could come running to talk to them. I was fearful that he’d overstayed his welcome until she came back to the table.

“I’ll have my manager contact you,” I stood from the table, smoothing my dress down, “I think it’d be worth looking over.”

I offered him a smile as he slid his card. However, I wasn’t fast enough to yank it away and leave the table. Across the room, Cheryl came into view, and she set her eyes on Harris who was sitting next to me. A piece of me chipped away. My throat felt dry.

“Is that your manager?” Harris asked slyly with a smirk.

I couldn’t make myself answer, even if I wanted to. Cheryl approached the table in her pretty white pantsuit, pearls hanging around her neck, and curls tightly tucked with her matching pearl clip in her dirty blonde hair. Her lips stretched into a smile, darting her eyes between the two of us.

“If I knew we were to have company, I would’ve ordered more drinks for the table. I’m so sorry.” She placed her hand on her chest.

Harris rose to his feet, taking my mom’s free hand to shake. The scene before me made my hands shake, the exhaustion made it seem like a bad fever dream.

“No need to apologize, Cheryl. My name is Harris Moon. I watched Margot walk tonight, may I say that you’ve trained your daughter well?” He squeezed her hand, then let it fall to his side.

“Harris Moon? With Moon Modeling?”

I knew that look from anywhere. A sparkle in her eye. She was hungry, ironically enough they shared the same look. Doubtful that the hunger was for me, but for what I could make him in dollars. The two of them sat down to speak business and I felt my weight buckle under me and my bottom hit the seat with them. I reached for another martini on the table.

By the end of the night, Cheryl and Harris came to an agreement while I sat pretty between the two of them.

The drive home was quiet and my head was spinning. I pulled my knees to my chest as I watched the city lights pass by. Cheryl seemed happy, yet never asked me how I felt about it. I almost felt guilty telling her that I couldn’t do this anymore. There were many times where I’d hinted at stopping, but then she would hint that we wouldn’t be able to pay rent if it wasn’t for me.

I sucked in a deep breath and asked, “How long is the contract?”

There was a beat of silence, then I turned my head to Cheryl as she glanced towards me out of the corner of her eyes.

“Four years.”

I was locked in. Trapped, I felt anxiety rush through me. When the tears started to pool around my eyes, I turned my head once more to look out at the city lights. I blew out a slow breath, closing my eyes as the coolness from the window calmed my hot head.

“What’s wrong, honey? Aren’t you happy?”

My shoulders shook as I let out a silent cry, then sniffled. I wiped my eyes, turning towards her and forced the same smile that I’d been for a couple years.

“I’m so happy.”